TOP of my list - then when I fall in love or see the potential for an amazing relationship (which happens fast) I go all in full tilt … and the volatility ensues!
1. Peace of mind (mostly below influences this)
2. Health (mental, emotional, pyhysical)
3. Financial security
4. Comfort
5. Family and friend relationsihps
6. Enjoyment and hobbies, having fun / creativity
I guess seven....:D Didn't really make the list tbh. No wonder I'm single
1. My relationship with my spouse (so i guess romantic partner)
2. Kids (if we had any)
3. Extended family/friends (parents, siblings, etc)
4. Hobbies (self care, alone time)
5. health (mental, physical and spiritual)
Work is very, very low on the list, if it's even on the list. LOL
1: Relationship with God
2: Marriage (if married) (I would also put fiancé here)
3: Family
4: Girlfriend (if not married)
5: Friends
6: Work
7: Hobbies
i think it would change depending on the stage my life is in, if that makes sense. but uh, right now, i'd probably place it fourth. later in life, i think i'd place it second.
1. Self work/spirituality.
2. Virtue/integrity.
3. Love.
4. Romantic love.
1 is shared. I couldn't pick one over the other. Romantic love is important. But how on earth am I supposed to put it first. There are way more important things.
I believe everyone yearns and burns for love, but the umbrella it's placed under varies from person to person.
For example, I tend to date creatives or artsy types and while there's no denying they value love, I'd say they value **CREATIVE EXPRESSION** as #1 and branch that off into subcategories like love, writing, artwork, music, whatever. They don't singularly depend on love and can neglect it for a bit and can feel fulfilled through other mediums as long as that broader creative expression is there.
Whereas I'm much more boring, linear, and singularly focused when it comes to love. It's not a checkmark on the bucket list, a ring on the finger and we turn into roomies with privileges, no my entire world revolves around it, I could just as easily spend 24/7 with someone, and it's almost like wearing tinted glasses and seeing everything in a different light. I have goals, interests, and dreams just like anyone else, but they can stay as dreams and I'll still live a fulfilling life if I find the love I seek.
This is my hypothesis though, we are cut from a different cloth as INFJs. Not that as INFJs we are needy, co-dependents, but rather we understand love is the most valuable thing in the world and makes life worth living. Love for S/O, family and friends. But the S/O type tends to hit us the deepest.
Heard a sermon once at a wedding and the basic idea was that you need to love your partner more than you love your children. Part of it is by design, your children are meant to "leave" you someday, fall in love with someone else, and make them their world, but it's also important to serve as role models and show your future children what they should look for in a partner someday. It also stressed the need for balanced and stable parenting, where the child can't necessarily run to a more sympathetic mother or father in the relationship for leverage over the other. You want to demonstrate a more united front.
When we talk about hypotheticals with children, such as a sinking ship and who do you save, it's too easily defaulted that we need to save the child - helpless, more life to live, right thing to do, parents should be willing to sacrifice themselves, and so on. Even in non-dire circumstances, this slant can exist and we need to be mindful of it.
At the end of the day, your children leave you and if you spent much of their upbringing favoring them over your partner, it's about to get especially awkward when it's just you and your partner again someday.
Your ideas might be controversial to some, but I agree. Your partner can always cheat, leave, betray you, but your children were designed to leave you. And yes your children can still always have a relationship with you, I’m fully grown and very loyal to my parents, but my brother and sister are not. So it goes to show, we all grew up in the same household, yet totally different attitudes as adults. You can never truly control how your kids will turn out or how loyal they are to you.
I love this. As Christians, this was exactly the way my parents thought. I have friends who had parents that were always distant from each other, and the only thing bringing them together was their children; I can clearly tell it’s a source of much pain for my friends.
I tend to date creative and artsy types too. I find they are more capable than most other types of expressing their unbridled attraction towards me directly, without having to run a fog of interference. Which is almost ground zero for me in terms of lifting the interaction or date into the air. Definitely not the most healthy posture, but drawing them in while concealing myself behind walls seems to be my Nectar of Ambrosia.
After being in a relationship with a narcissist for 7 years, zero priority for romance 2 1/2 years later. I’m very happy being able to put my own needs first and have no interest inviting chaos into my life!
I could interpret work as whatever brings you fulfillment, and truth be told having stability to be able to afford food and housing does make it a priority. Some could classify cleaning or fixing things around the house as work but really anything with the sense of accomplishment of “work” has been proven to help people live longer in retirement.
Finding my soulmate has been no. 1 on my list.
I have taken major academic and life decisions based on love interests lol. Silly but it seems to work well. Nothing that I regret.
Top! Being married is everything to me. My husband is my life.
Second is my cat.
Third would be work and school, but there is a huge gap between spot two and three.
Fourth is hobbies. I put things just for me on the back burner most days and feel guilty when I partake in them.
Fifth would be friends because I’m the most anti-social person you’d ever meet (and you won’t meet me!) :-)
It used to be near the top but now it’s near the bottom, if on my list at all. I just don’t believe in romantic love and would rather focus on other areas of my life than that
I’m happily divorced and dating whom I please, casually and non-exclusively. Romantic love being tied to a single person that I put on a pedestal has not been healthy for my life. Finding moments of comfort, love, and romance in the friends I have around me has been so freeing and I frankly fixate on it all less.
If it works for you, that’s great. I tried to live like this myself, and it was okay I guess, I wasn’t necessarily unhappy. But I realized I was not truly happy and holding myself back due to fear. Fear of being hurt and fear of losing again. True love transcends all that and is worth the risk.
I’ve been working on getting over fear in the last year too. It’s actually made this style of love work better for me, the more I can let go. Love isn’t a one size fits all though, you’re right.
Definitely #1, and if the other person isn't the same then we're not compatible. My list would probably be
1. My partner
2. My mom and sister
3. Passions/art
4. Spirituality/finding peace in the universe (NOT religion, fuck that)
5. Health (mostly mental health because I'm fairly young still)
6. Hobbies/relaxation
7. Friends
8. Work, unless I can think of anything else to put above this lol
This question isn’t specific enough- are you asking if it’s important that I have it in my life?
In that case, I don’t rank it high … in general, as a priority.
I’m pretty self contained. I’m happy single.
In many ways, there is a part of me that doesn’t like to be in a romantic relationship because … of many reasons.. because a part of me is .. taxed. A part of me is .. challenged. A part of me is growing in a wonderful and painful way. A part of me is sacrificed. A part of me is contained. A part of me has to compromise. A part of me has to be perfect. A part of me is afraid. A part of me is not perfect. A part of me is convinced.
If you’re asking how much do I love romantic love as a concept ?
Huge.
I think it’s probably one of the big 3 reasons we are born.
Romantic, passionate , deep, sensual love that’s real and wild and focused , is what we all were born to do. One of the greatest experiences in life.
It must be done.
At least once before you can die and know you did what you were put on the earth to do.
I’m asking when it’s in your life, how much time and attention do you give it? Where does your partner rank amongst all the other things we prioritize.
So ….honestly I don’t think like that. I don’t rank stuff.
But in general , the people I love - not just romantic love, but my family too- my tribe- are most important.
I would say the only thing that trumps them is my relationship to my spirituality. Spiritual practice.
Well once you're out of school these things change a lot.. as of right now many of these things aren't my main focus, but in the next few years I imagine it will change
I don't know, but it would be near the top. I've seen in relationships that while I'm very loyal and love hearing from them every day I still desire a sort of distance and don't want people to be entirely dependant upon me and to then feel let down by me and my withdrawnness, which makes me wonder if I'd be better suited for a poly relationship more than monogamy.
It used to be #1, the last INTJ ruined that ...Its now in the 3 to 4 range. Its difficult at times..But someone has to WIN ME now...and that isn't easily done anymore.
It's a balance of top and 2nd due to being a parent, but it is incredibly important to me. I get most of my emotional stimulation from my partner and don't really have any friends (which I'm okay with, busy life and stuff), so my SO is my best friend and lover. We both have a child from a past relationship, so it's understood and agreed upon by both of us where we are in a hierarchy, we love our own kids respectfully unconditionally and if we needed to, either one of us would put our respective child first depending on situations.
I would put financial needs 3rd.
Right now, like 10. I just got absolutely wrecked over again so I think the whole romance thing is out of the question. If I were in a relationship, 2; marriage, 1.
I do think it's 3rd because my family get the top most priority ,than my career . If just if that guy is everything I ever wanted or like totally loyal he will be with the family position of priority
A romantic bond has always been high priority for me, but I am a “merger” and one of the main ways I find meaning is having a partner I can have that passionate energetic relationship to. But a close tie to that is having a close relationship with myself as well… self-knowledge, self reflection, self growth… Family is probably second to all that, then hobbies/interests, friends, and work will be lowest priority.
i went all in head first with a girl i thought matched well with me. we are long distance but decided to surprise her with a birthday package. in the end she said i didnt deserve her and at that point i jus stopped
Honestly I did that for the past 3 years since Covid, I was content, but it was empty. Then I recently met a woman that was amazing, and all these emotions became alive again and I realized, win or lose, this is the way. To actually feel something, to feel alive.
Right now I'd say 1, sharing this place with friendship.
I'm not in a relationship right now, and actually this makes me prioritize it even more, I not only desire a romantic love, I crave it, it's like a deeper need that I can't even explain ahahahah
I know I'm extremely exaggerated, and that is probably unhelty to think like this, but in my mind romantic love could help me with the process of healing all of my other issues
I've struggled with mental health and faulty relationships a lot as a young person, so it needs to be closer to mid-list for me. I have to be able to maintain an independent and personal balance of my own before considering another human in the mix.
I suppose it's a version of "affix your own oxygen mask before assisting others."
INFJ 1w9
Integrity is a core theme for success in each.
1. Spiritual & Physical Wellness
2. Altruism & Social Justice
3. All loved ones (equal hierarchy, time divided fairly, showing up to major events & emergencies for all as much as possible).
4. Material Security (though never guaranteed). Work however is not a priority. Self-sustained living while being a community resource is the end goal.
5. Comfort & Pleasure Seeking
OP or Someone, let's talk about romance.
Would you agree or disagree that romance is different than real love? I believe so. I believe Walt Disney and his work force intently or not wrecked how we view love or romance.
I get the question. I consider myself passionate and a giver. Having said that, I am becoming less of a believer in romance and more a believer in real love (sacrifice).
I understand the Disney effect of my generation (millennial) and the social media effect of now. However, I fully know romance is intertwined and an integral part of real love.
Perfect example, my parents were never crazy in love, but my mom says things were the best when my dad put forth effort in dating her, dating even after marriage. Like planning fun dates and genuinely doing, cute romantic things. It’s our human nature to desire and feel all the positive emotions from this, thus art (Disney) reflects life.
I agree with your first comment.
I believe women love romance and that's fine. Would you agree or disagree that there is a line between idealization and realization?
Being a man, I also value romance. I think it’s the essence of what separates a friendship from the kind of love that makes you look forward to each day.
I do agree there can be an issue of idealization, but don’t think there has to be. Romance doesn’t have be grandiose in design, it can be the simplest things in the world. Like putting a sweet note in your love’s lunch bag or purse before she goes to work.
I think most healthy relationships begin with romance and then turn into "real love". But that's just my very rosy colored perception... I don't know if real love is sacrifice though. My grandma and grandpa married for other reasons aside from love, and they sacrificed a lot... but they weren't happy. They stayed together for the kids and for social values. Same for my parents. Lots of sacrifice, and but no love for one another.
I think "real love" is faceted. It includes romance, sacrifice, respect, admiration, friendship, room for growth, compromise, and it's unconditional.
I think faster than I can type so if I sound incoherent, I apologize in advanced.
You say that it starts with romance, but would you agree that's a chemical attraction or reaction. Would you also agree that the majority of the reason of the idea of romance is because of media.
If you go and ask random couples of all ages in public about romance. Let's say you ask about 100 couples, how many would say that their partner romanced them into a relationship.
I suggest you study love vs romance. I say this in a friendly way, in no way am trying to be snarky or pretentious. Like I explained this is what I am learning in life. I am not saying it's an absolute truth.
Love is faceted. If you reread your comment, in your second paragraph you contradict yourself, unless I miss read it?
Romantic love is like second to last on my list. Top of the list is my mental health, family bonds, then physical health, obtaining skills, then friends, hobbies, learning to move things with my mind, romantic love and then deciding who to vote for for president (if there’s time).
Well it used to be one, and time-wise it likes to be 1, but I try to put Jesus first, and have built habits to put Jesus first, so love is #2. “Love like Jesus!”
TOP of my list - then when I fall in love or see the potential for an amazing relationship (which happens fast) I go all in full tilt … and the volatility ensues!
Same for me, except the volatility part lol, but I think that’s what makes us amazing!
The volatility of emotions - the chase, the rush, the “let’s be together forever” it’s so fun…but absolutely sucks when it’s not reciprocated.
Ohhh, yes, I’m there 100% with you!! People don’t love like us and it’s frustrating.
It’s such a burden
1. Peace of mind (mostly below influences this) 2. Health (mental, emotional, pyhysical) 3. Financial security 4. Comfort 5. Family and friend relationsihps 6. Enjoyment and hobbies, having fun / creativity I guess seven....:D Didn't really make the list tbh. No wonder I'm single
Pretty fulfilling list. Sounds like a content life
Perfect!👌
top of the list im married now though, so it makes sense it is as such - that my marriage is top priority. ahahaha.
1. My relationship with my spouse (so i guess romantic partner) 2. Kids (if we had any) 3. Extended family/friends (parents, siblings, etc) 4. Hobbies (self care, alone time) 5. health (mental, physical and spiritual) Work is very, very low on the list, if it's even on the list. LOL
1: Relationship with God 2: Marriage (if married) (I would also put fiancé here) 3: Family 4: Girlfriend (if not married) 5: Friends 6: Work 7: Hobbies
Perfect list 👌. Similar to my thoughts
THE list 💯
i think it would change depending on the stage my life is in, if that makes sense. but uh, right now, i'd probably place it fourth. later in life, i think i'd place it second.
1. Self work/spirituality. 2. Virtue/integrity. 3. Love. 4. Romantic love. 1 is shared. I couldn't pick one over the other. Romantic love is important. But how on earth am I supposed to put it first. There are way more important things.
Yes!
I believe everyone yearns and burns for love, but the umbrella it's placed under varies from person to person. For example, I tend to date creatives or artsy types and while there's no denying they value love, I'd say they value **CREATIVE EXPRESSION** as #1 and branch that off into subcategories like love, writing, artwork, music, whatever. They don't singularly depend on love and can neglect it for a bit and can feel fulfilled through other mediums as long as that broader creative expression is there. Whereas I'm much more boring, linear, and singularly focused when it comes to love. It's not a checkmark on the bucket list, a ring on the finger and we turn into roomies with privileges, no my entire world revolves around it, I could just as easily spend 24/7 with someone, and it's almost like wearing tinted glasses and seeing everything in a different light. I have goals, interests, and dreams just like anyone else, but they can stay as dreams and I'll still live a fulfilling life if I find the love I seek.
This is my hypothesis though, we are cut from a different cloth as INFJs. Not that as INFJs we are needy, co-dependents, but rather we understand love is the most valuable thing in the world and makes life worth living. Love for S/O, family and friends. But the S/O type tends to hit us the deepest.
Heard a sermon once at a wedding and the basic idea was that you need to love your partner more than you love your children. Part of it is by design, your children are meant to "leave" you someday, fall in love with someone else, and make them their world, but it's also important to serve as role models and show your future children what they should look for in a partner someday. It also stressed the need for balanced and stable parenting, where the child can't necessarily run to a more sympathetic mother or father in the relationship for leverage over the other. You want to demonstrate a more united front. When we talk about hypotheticals with children, such as a sinking ship and who do you save, it's too easily defaulted that we need to save the child - helpless, more life to live, right thing to do, parents should be willing to sacrifice themselves, and so on. Even in non-dire circumstances, this slant can exist and we need to be mindful of it. At the end of the day, your children leave you and if you spent much of their upbringing favoring them over your partner, it's about to get especially awkward when it's just you and your partner again someday.
Your ideas might be controversial to some, but I agree. Your partner can always cheat, leave, betray you, but your children were designed to leave you. And yes your children can still always have a relationship with you, I’m fully grown and very loyal to my parents, but my brother and sister are not. So it goes to show, we all grew up in the same household, yet totally different attitudes as adults. You can never truly control how your kids will turn out or how loyal they are to you.
I love this. As Christians, this was exactly the way my parents thought. I have friends who had parents that were always distant from each other, and the only thing bringing them together was their children; I can clearly tell it’s a source of much pain for my friends.
I tend to date creative and artsy types too. I find they are more capable than most other types of expressing their unbridled attraction towards me directly, without having to run a fog of interference. Which is almost ground zero for me in terms of lifting the interaction or date into the air. Definitely not the most healthy posture, but drawing them in while concealing myself behind walls seems to be my Nectar of Ambrosia.
After being in a relationship with a narcissist for 7 years, zero priority for romance 2 1/2 years later. I’m very happy being able to put my own needs first and have no interest inviting chaos into my life!
High score on the feelings - romantic attachment is usually my reason for breathing/ not being able to breathe.
At the top. Unfortunately I pick the ones who don't do the same 🥴👌
1. Work 2. Family 3. Partner 4. Friend 5. Hobbies
[удалено]
I could interpret work as whatever brings you fulfillment, and truth be told having stability to be able to afford food and housing does make it a priority. Some could classify cleaning or fixing things around the house as work but really anything with the sense of accomplishment of “work” has been proven to help people live longer in retirement.
Used to be top of the list. Now my daughter is.
Finding my soulmate has been no. 1 on my list. I have taken major academic and life decisions based on love interests lol. Silly but it seems to work well. Nothing that I regret.
Top! Being married is everything to me. My husband is my life. Second is my cat. Third would be work and school, but there is a huge gap between spot two and three. Fourth is hobbies. I put things just for me on the back burner most days and feel guilty when I partake in them. Fifth would be friends because I’m the most anti-social person you’d ever meet (and you won’t meet me!) :-)
💜
Tbh 1
1. the desire to kms 2. nothing 3. nothing 4. love
What is kms?
It used to be near the top but now it’s near the bottom, if on my list at all. I just don’t believe in romantic love and would rather focus on other areas of my life than that
I’m happily divorced and dating whom I please, casually and non-exclusively. Romantic love being tied to a single person that I put on a pedestal has not been healthy for my life. Finding moments of comfort, love, and romance in the friends I have around me has been so freeing and I frankly fixate on it all less.
If it works for you, that’s great. I tried to live like this myself, and it was okay I guess, I wasn’t necessarily unhappy. But I realized I was not truly happy and holding myself back due to fear. Fear of being hurt and fear of losing again. True love transcends all that and is worth the risk.
I’ve been working on getting over fear in the last year too. It’s actually made this style of love work better for me, the more I can let go. Love isn’t a one size fits all though, you’re right.
It would be top if I had someone
Definitely #1, and if the other person isn't the same then we're not compatible. My list would probably be 1. My partner 2. My mom and sister 3. Passions/art 4. Spirituality/finding peace in the universe (NOT religion, fuck that) 5. Health (mostly mental health because I'm fairly young still) 6. Hobbies/relaxation 7. Friends 8. Work, unless I can think of anything else to put above this lol
If I wasn't depressingly single right now: 1. Faith 2. Romance 3. Friends 4. Hobbies 5. Family 6. Work
This question isn’t specific enough- are you asking if it’s important that I have it in my life? In that case, I don’t rank it high … in general, as a priority. I’m pretty self contained. I’m happy single. In many ways, there is a part of me that doesn’t like to be in a romantic relationship because … of many reasons.. because a part of me is .. taxed. A part of me is .. challenged. A part of me is growing in a wonderful and painful way. A part of me is sacrificed. A part of me is contained. A part of me has to compromise. A part of me has to be perfect. A part of me is afraid. A part of me is not perfect. A part of me is convinced. If you’re asking how much do I love romantic love as a concept ? Huge. I think it’s probably one of the big 3 reasons we are born. Romantic, passionate , deep, sensual love that’s real and wild and focused , is what we all were born to do. One of the greatest experiences in life. It must be done. At least once before you can die and know you did what you were put on the earth to do.
I’m asking when it’s in your life, how much time and attention do you give it? Where does your partner rank amongst all the other things we prioritize.
So ….honestly I don’t think like that. I don’t rank stuff. But in general , the people I love - not just romantic love, but my family too- my tribe- are most important. I would say the only thing that trumps them is my relationship to my spirituality. Spiritual practice.
Whether you do it consciously or not, you’re always ranking things in your life because your time and energy are limited.
I can see what you’re saying. I just don’t personally think in terms like that. But yes, probably correct.
2
2
Well once you're out of school these things change a lot.. as of right now many of these things aren't my main focus, but in the next few years I imagine it will change
I don't know, but it would be near the top. I've seen in relationships that while I'm very loyal and love hearing from them every day I still desire a sort of distance and don't want people to be entirely dependant upon me and to then feel let down by me and my withdrawnness, which makes me wonder if I'd be better suited for a poly relationship more than monogamy.
1. Dreams/Aspirations 2. Romantic/Platonic love (they blend for me) 3. Family
It used to be #1, the last INTJ ruined that ...Its now in the 3 to 4 range. Its difficult at times..But someone has to WIN ME now...and that isn't easily done anymore.
It's a balance of top and 2nd due to being a parent, but it is incredibly important to me. I get most of my emotional stimulation from my partner and don't really have any friends (which I'm okay with, busy life and stuff), so my SO is my best friend and lover. We both have a child from a past relationship, so it's understood and agreed upon by both of us where we are in a hierarchy, we love our own kids respectfully unconditionally and if we needed to, either one of us would put our respective child first depending on situations. I would put financial needs 3rd.
Right now, like 10. I just got absolutely wrecked over again so I think the whole romance thing is out of the question. If I were in a relationship, 2; marriage, 1.
I do think it's 3rd because my family get the top most priority ,than my career . If just if that guy is everything I ever wanted or like totally loyal he will be with the family position of priority
A romantic bond has always been high priority for me, but I am a “merger” and one of the main ways I find meaning is having a partner I can have that passionate energetic relationship to. But a close tie to that is having a close relationship with myself as well… self-knowledge, self reflection, self growth… Family is probably second to all that, then hobbies/interests, friends, and work will be lowest priority.
i went all in head first with a girl i thought matched well with me. we are long distance but decided to surprise her with a birthday package. in the end she said i didnt deserve her and at that point i jus stopped
Top but it shouldn’t be. I think that’s the issue. We need to concentrate on ourselves first and then others.
Honestly I did that for the past 3 years since Covid, I was content, but it was empty. Then I recently met a woman that was amazing, and all these emotions became alive again and I realized, win or lose, this is the way. To actually feel something, to feel alive.
Right now I'd say 1, sharing this place with friendship. I'm not in a relationship right now, and actually this makes me prioritize it even more, I not only desire a romantic love, I crave it, it's like a deeper need that I can't even explain ahahahah I know I'm extremely exaggerated, and that is probably unhelty to think like this, but in my mind romantic love could help me with the process of healing all of my other issues
I've struggled with mental health and faulty relationships a lot as a young person, so it needs to be closer to mid-list for me. I have to be able to maintain an independent and personal balance of my own before considering another human in the mix. I suppose it's a version of "affix your own oxygen mask before assisting others."
INFJ 1w9 Integrity is a core theme for success in each. 1. Spiritual & Physical Wellness 2. Altruism & Social Justice 3. All loved ones (equal hierarchy, time divided fairly, showing up to major events & emergencies for all as much as possible). 4. Material Security (though never guaranteed). Work however is not a priority. Self-sustained living while being a community resource is the end goal. 5. Comfort & Pleasure Seeking
At the top forsure!
At the bottom of the list
With a lot of my relationships before I prioritized my person first above anything. So love for me was like the top of the top.
OP or Someone, let's talk about romance. Would you agree or disagree that romance is different than real love? I believe so. I believe Walt Disney and his work force intently or not wrecked how we view love or romance. I get the question. I consider myself passionate and a giver. Having said that, I am becoming less of a believer in romance and more a believer in real love (sacrifice).
I understand the Disney effect of my generation (millennial) and the social media effect of now. However, I fully know romance is intertwined and an integral part of real love. Perfect example, my parents were never crazy in love, but my mom says things were the best when my dad put forth effort in dating her, dating even after marriage. Like planning fun dates and genuinely doing, cute romantic things. It’s our human nature to desire and feel all the positive emotions from this, thus art (Disney) reflects life.
I agree with your first comment. I believe women love romance and that's fine. Would you agree or disagree that there is a line between idealization and realization?
Being a man, I also value romance. I think it’s the essence of what separates a friendship from the kind of love that makes you look forward to each day. I do agree there can be an issue of idealization, but don’t think there has to be. Romance doesn’t have be grandiose in design, it can be the simplest things in the world. Like putting a sweet note in your love’s lunch bag or purse before she goes to work.
I think most healthy relationships begin with romance and then turn into "real love". But that's just my very rosy colored perception... I don't know if real love is sacrifice though. My grandma and grandpa married for other reasons aside from love, and they sacrificed a lot... but they weren't happy. They stayed together for the kids and for social values. Same for my parents. Lots of sacrifice, and but no love for one another. I think "real love" is faceted. It includes romance, sacrifice, respect, admiration, friendship, room for growth, compromise, and it's unconditional.
I think faster than I can type so if I sound incoherent, I apologize in advanced. You say that it starts with romance, but would you agree that's a chemical attraction or reaction. Would you also agree that the majority of the reason of the idea of romance is because of media. If you go and ask random couples of all ages in public about romance. Let's say you ask about 100 couples, how many would say that their partner romanced them into a relationship. I suggest you study love vs romance. I say this in a friendly way, in no way am trying to be snarky or pretentious. Like I explained this is what I am learning in life. I am not saying it's an absolute truth. Love is faceted. If you reread your comment, in your second paragraph you contradict yourself, unless I miss read it?
———0 or ++++++1
After God ofc
Tho i think of my relationship w God as also romantic
Romantic love is like second to last on my list. Top of the list is my mental health, family bonds, then physical health, obtaining skills, then friends, hobbies, learning to move things with my mind, romantic love and then deciding who to vote for for president (if there’s time).
Well it used to be one, and time-wise it likes to be 1, but I try to put Jesus first, and have built habits to put Jesus first, so love is #2. “Love like Jesus!”