Oh shit 66
Yeah that sounds right. I was raised in a very traumatic environment and I constantly have to engage in self awareness to avoid letting the cynical/dead-soul side of me make selfish and destructive decisions.
I extremely, strongly, care about other people *logically* and partly because I know it is in spite of my natural inclinations. I go very far out of my way to try to be kind or generous or patient *because* my initial instinct is the opposite.
I always liked that saying that the quality of a person is not based on their first thought, but their second.
Totally agree, you’re not a bad person for not instinctually doing the “right” thing. You are a good person for overcoming something challenging for the collective benefit of everyone involved. Nice work🩷
I commend and respect you greatly for admitting that your first instinct as an INFP is to be the opposite of kind, generous and patient. I've observed this to be the case in the overwhelming majority of INFPs but I gotta say you're the forst one I've seen admit to it, most of them get very offended and deliberately hurtful when I bring attention to this quality of theirs so usually I just avoid them
I'd be careful with these tests. Just because you share traits of narcissism it doesn't make you a narcissist, just like you can have traits of ADHD without having ADHD. True narcissists will show these traits to the extremes and will likely relate to all of them, not just some.
If you're really concerned you're a narcissist then it's best to speak to a professional about it as they're the only ones who can actually diagnose you.
If you don't show passive aggressiveness and don't gaslight though then I highly doubt you're a narcissist. Gaslighting especially is the main narcissistic behavior
Thanks for the comment. This helps because I have met true narcissists and I don’t think I’m as bad as them. But I also know people who are less narcissistic than me so I’m not totally stable . I will just have to work on some of the tendencies I have and make it work for the collective benefit.
The human brain is incredibly complex and it's all a sliding scale. We all have stuff we need to work on, but if you're self aware enough to know what you need to work on then that's a very good sign
I have a feeling INFPs may score a bit higher on narcissism. I would'nt worry about it unless you get a clinical diagnosis from a psychologist though. Sub-clinical levels of narcissism aren't enough to effect your life in utterly destructive ways, especially if you're aware of it. That's why it's sub clinical.
There are plenty of people who are successful that have higher levels of narcissism. There's actually at least one book about it. In fact people say narcissism can help you to be successful sometimes.
Me I come from a family with at least three others that likely have elevated narcissism. My grandmother, grandfather, mother, and then I would make four. I have a feeling I'm a bit above average too. Don't see a reason to care though.
One good reason for caring is that it may not negatively impact you but others. I recognize that caring about negatively affecting others may not be a particular concern for people with elevated levels of narcissism, but I would challenge you to consider the ethical implications of this way of relating to the world
I think its funny when people talk to me about ethics. Our society has such a broken social contract right now it's ridiculous. Ethics is about everyone involved getting a slice equal to the effort they put in & are capable of, but it's also used to try and get a larger slice by basically everyone. You spoke about INFPs not really caring about people & acting purposefully hurt when called out on it. That's a good example of ethics these days. Being perceived as caring about people is a way of getting bonus social points.
You mentioned ethics, I guess it's a bit of a rabbit trail. Part of the implication is that lots of people don't care these days though, hence the broken social contract.
I'm still not seeing how that ties into what we were talking about... unless you're implying that because the social contract is broken that it's funny/ridiculous when people care to challenge unethical behavior when they see it, a position that I would find deeply ugly and offensive as well as self-indulgent in this context
First off, Narcissistic tendencies are within all of us it’s just on a mere spectrum.
https://preview.redd.it/wulp76b7pzad1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=43e1ed2aa01c27d7ca800f282f143de42cf4e35c
Covert narcissism is usually used to describe people with higher than average amounts of narcissistic traits, to the extent that it affects their lives negatively
Yes that makes sense because the more I researched the more I realize almost everyone I ever met have these tendencies . I never considered my husband a narcissist but he scored 40% on the test which is higher than I expected. But I definitely felt like I was the more narcissistic one
Hey so (from talking to my therapist & reading some posts on r/NPD) there’s no such thing as covert narcissism. You either have NPD or you don’t. Narcissism/NPD *can* manifest in covert behaviors, but the actual subtypes aren’t well defined nor based in the DSM 5. Anytime I see people talk about covert narcissism (which, I’ve seen sooooo many different definitions for), I’m basically seeing people describe CPTSD or BPD on some level.
Moreover, as my therapist explained it, we *all* have narcissistic traits. It’s a spectrum and we all fall on it, sometimes lower, sometimes farther depending on the context and what’s going in our lives.
Nice, this makes me feel better thanks for sharing. I still think it’s good to identify my covert behaviours so I can change and grow, but I think labelling oneself isn’t productive because then we identify with the label and maybe feel like we can’t change that. That’s what I hate about diagnosing mental health, it’s like a crutch … “oh I have xyz problem so I can’t help it” etc.
You’re right on point! As my therapist told me: just check in with yourself from time to time to see where you’re at (in terms of any narcissistic traits I may be experiencing) and try and stay aware.
For the longest time possibly having NPD or being a covert narcissist was my biggest fear. And what you described is exactly why I was so fearful of it. But reminding myself that I have agency and the power to change gave me all the hope I needed :)) Wherever this journey takes you, I wish you all the best!
Usually when people think of narcissism they are thinking of pathological levels rather than healthy levels of narcissism and I think that's what the OP meant when they used the term but I may be wrong
“Covert” describes the way some people with clinical NPD can present. They certainly exist but you’re correct it’s not a separate DSM diagnosis. It still requires certain boxes to be checked to be considered NPD - but those boxes CAN be checked even if the person is more of the covert, martyr type.
Technically, there is no DSM diagnosis for sociopathy or psychopathy either - they all fit under anti-social personality, despite nuanced differences and differences in extremes- but those people definitely exist. DSM has a lot of limitations.
I've always heard that if you are willing to even consider if you're a narcissist, then you're not a narcissist. Not sure how true that is now, as people are more open to accepting personality disorders and diagnosis. I agree everyone has to have at least a little narcissism in them. I've also heard that no one is always as "good" as they think they are. Everyone plays the villain in someone else's story at some point. I do think it's an over used term and thrown about too liberally.
I love this subreddit lol. Always someone vocalizing something I’ve been pondering and dealing with internally myself.
“Point one finger and three are pointing back at you.”
Not proud of how I’ve handled some things last year which included me feeling like some people I considered myself close to secretly conspiring against me.
I felt so paranoid and crazy and at the same time so just and certain of my perceptions and the “clues” I collected. I accused these people of possibly being or at least having narcissistic traits.
Fast forward, after a lot of self analyzing and viewing my actions in a different light instead of believing I was the poor kind soul being mistreated and betrayed by everyone… I began to see the errors of my ways (not just this situation but dating further back and in present day.) How quickly I react horribly after being triggered. Yeah, there were lies or truths that were never mentioned that hurt me…but it all could have been handled so much better.
They were flawed people that didn’t receive the nurturing and proper care they deserved when growing up and learning how to navigate in this world, just as myself which caused unhealthy coping mechanisms to develop and become hardwired. It pains me that I didn’t realize this at the time being so completely consumed with my intuition and how I was affected by things. It was all about me.
Today I got a simple tattoo that is immensely important to me as every time I look at it I’ll be reminded to do my best not to handle delicate situations when triggered or angry.
Thank you for bringing this topic up!
Sometimes it feels lonely in our minds and a fear of harsh criticism with some topics so we keep it to ourselves. So it’s great to know these thoughts aren’t as unexplored by others as we believe.
**Your covert narcissism is low (16.3%).**
Guess I'm a normal INFP then lol. Honestly half of those questions are just too easy to see through. Probably doesn't hold a lot of weight without putting someone through social tests to see what their baseline behaviors and reactions are.
So I wouldn't put too much faith in it that all INFPs are coverts.
Remember that people can make up whatever they want on the internet.
A narcissist would never wonder if they are a narcissist. A narcissist is not interested in anyone else’s opinion or analysis of their personality.
So if you have enough of an honest self reflection to wonder if you are a narcissist, that means you probably aren’t.
I got 34.4% I felt like a lot of the questions were about holding back anger or jealousy at others for having what I don't when I really haven't felt those types of feelings often since after my teenage years.
Instead of being jealous of good looking people, I'd say more now that I admire their looks lol.
I used to wish I was pretty like my sister growing up or that I just was her, but then as I got older I realized that I don't really want my sisters life or her looks, I just wanted to be loved by other people like she was in my eyes. But then I also realized that I wanted to be loved by others as me and not as anyone else. So that jealousy ended too.
I also think when I was younger I used to talk about myself nonstop cause I didn't really take others into consideration but I slowly learned to ask them questions about themselves, let them talk etc. And nowadays I will happily listen to someone talk for hours about themselves irl as long as they're telling me all their deepest innermost thoughts or something equally interesting like their crush or dreams in life and not just talking about the weather 😅.
I do think I share a lot of narcissistic traits however like hypersensitivity, passive-agressivemess (maybe not so much in my normal life just at work since I can't show that I'm frustrated lol), difficulty maintaining relationships, and social withdrawal because people with social anxiety tend to have many overlapping traits and I have something like that.
I mean I guess I could though, not like I'm a psychologist or anything, and tests can be pretty unreliable.
Edit: just wanna say thanks for the interesting post though, haha I love these kinds of questions
Tbh everyone is somewhat level of narcissism. It doesn't automatically make you a bad person BUT it's good to have good sense of awareness of your actions.
This is a weird concept to me, because I associate INFP and ENFP with higher levels of empathy than the general population.
Consider reading about reactive abuse.
I like this video. [https://youtu.be/ZQcWJCNKMYo?si=Di6f9o6OnPWXlXMg](https://youtu.be/ZQcWJCNKMYo?si=Di6f9o6OnPWXlXMg)
Narcissists don't care about others. INFPs sympathize with others well.
This one is tricky because there is a lot of overlap between inferiority/self-esteem issues and covert narcissism. I think the easiest way to tell the difference is by considering empathy. Narcissists in general lack empathy and will only show it manipulatively. INFPs on the other hand are highly empathetic.
The things that you list don’t massively scream covert narcissism. Insecurity, yes. But I think the biggest part of it is the image you want to present to the world. An example would be using your children to make yourself look like a better person/good parent rather than just enjoying being a parent. Everything you do is to make yourself appear better to other people.
23%, not surprised at all. Infp-t could share qualities with narcissism but even that would just be some overlap on a venn diagram. Like many qualities, it's a spectrum from none to all that is likely full of caveats and conditions. We are social creatures, so narcissism goes against the grain and is problematic; but we also need some level of selfishness to get through the various problems life brings up. Everything in moderation may apply here, too.
If you think you’re a covert narcissist it means you can’t be one. A real narcissist would never believe that about themselves. Probably the person who said you were was a real narcissist and you’re taking it to heart too much.
I’m not sure but I definately understand what you’re saying about anxiety. They say hypochondria is a symptom of narcissism because it gets us attention. But I have health anxiety because I have genuine anxiety about getting sick, not to garner attention from others …
I scored 7.6% (low covert narcissism) as an INTJ. Honestly it's not surprising to me at all, but given the stereotypes associated with my type I imagine it would be surprising to most people
Contrary to popular stereotypes, INTJs often have some of the strongest and most healthy and balanced moral compasses out there, if not the most because they are the only type to possess permeable ego boundaries, this keeps them humble and grounded in reality at the expense of potential self centeredness and smallmindedness
It's a quite vulnerable sense of self with always ready to lash out upon any indication of negative remarks towars self but definitely I'd say the strongest moral compass of all types
No, I'm not surprised. INTJs won't score high on covert narcissism. They are the least covert narcissists. But they actually score high in NORMAL narcissism lol. When have Voldemort or Aizen been considered covert narcissists? They make it obvious they want attention and praise, not covertly lol.
In fairness there are lots of commonalities with other afflictions, so I wouldn't worry about being in the moderate range. It's just a defence mechanism in response to a world that's quite hard to be in.
Considered it once? Yeah, but rather in times where my anxious ego came forward. I think it has more to do with being selfless and not realizing this ego part of you exists because normally you want to be caring and also geniune
Also people with a personality disorder have a weird sense of self and will often get mixed results from tests like mbti.
As a related example: you will more often see people with BPD get INFP as a result due to the primary traits being: Intuition and feeling.
I’ve considered it, but turns out I’m not a covert narcissist.
I was concerned because I’m also very sensitive to how others perceive me, and I can be very withdrawn. I put a lot of effort into getting people to like me, and if they don’t I tend to take it personally and think I did something wrong. I also tend to put myself first and will keep things secret if it’s not going to harm anyone else.
Im not a covert narcissist because I don’t really have any of the malignant traits and I don’t manipulate people, even though I have a solid understanding of how to manipulate others. It’s more like I’m hyper vigilant about being manipulated by others, so it’s a defence mechanism.
Even though I put myself first I do consider the needs of others, unless they’ve done something to wrong me then I’m done with them. I also tend to be a very good listener and conversationalist, and find it easy to get people talking and break the ice and get to know people - never really for any personal gain, though. I just like spreading good vibes.
Covert? Hell nah, I pre-emptively tell people so that they aren't surprised and I still built a half decent friend group. I find my common sense is different than most peoples so that just exacerbated the entire situation.
Edit: Scored a 62% which feels like a rookie number, but then I guess any more and it wouldnt be "covert"
Everyone has "narcissistic traits" because they are human traits. It depends how strongly they dictate every aspect of your life.
People with a narcissistic disorder would never (truly) take accountability for their actions.
If they get (even perceived) negative feedback they would default to blaming every wrongdoing on someone or something else.
Narcissists are delusional about themselves.
They strongly believe in the narrative that they are always the victim and they will twist everything so this makes sense to them.
Also their double standards are sky high. They demand absolut loyalty but would easily stab others in the back.
And since they feel entitled nothing you do for them is enough. The bar always resets to zero. Every new addition is taken for granted and their demands become bigger.
On the other hand every (even most basic) thing they do is used to upgrade their image and seen as a transaction.
If you where a narcissist you wouldn't mind lying to get what you want. And if found out with proof you would still be pissed, because how dare others discover your lie (even search for it in the first place). Obviously it's their fault now, because it would have been so peaceful if they just played along.
I always think about "The Narcissist's Prayer" (by Dayna Craig)
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.
I scored Low, which the test said was in the population average.
Probably the reason why you think most people are narcissistic, may just be due to past trauma and distrusting the motives of others.
As someone who’s been through past trauma too, I get it. If it’s all you’ve seen in your childhood, it’s all you’ll expect.
Definitely, I am 25 now but I have a history of being in abusive friendships and relationships and my childhood wasn’t the best. I’m only now beginning to experience healthy relationships which is new for me.
I'm an INTJ and I don't identify with the characteristics of either form of narcissism but in my experience INFPs tend to fit the characteristics associated with covert narcissism to a T. In my opinion it has nothing to do with trauma as both forms of narcissism come from being spoiled and pampered in childhood rather than being neglected or abused imo
Oh shit 66 Yeah that sounds right. I was raised in a very traumatic environment and I constantly have to engage in self awareness to avoid letting the cynical/dead-soul side of me make selfish and destructive decisions. I extremely, strongly, care about other people *logically* and partly because I know it is in spite of my natural inclinations. I go very far out of my way to try to be kind or generous or patient *because* my initial instinct is the opposite. I always liked that saying that the quality of a person is not based on their first thought, but their second.
Totally agree, you’re not a bad person for not instinctually doing the “right” thing. You are a good person for overcoming something challenging for the collective benefit of everyone involved. Nice work🩷
I commend and respect you greatly for admitting that your first instinct as an INFP is to be the opposite of kind, generous and patient. I've observed this to be the case in the overwhelming majority of INFPs but I gotta say you're the forst one I've seen admit to it, most of them get very offended and deliberately hurtful when I bring attention to this quality of theirs so usually I just avoid them
I'd be careful with these tests. Just because you share traits of narcissism it doesn't make you a narcissist, just like you can have traits of ADHD without having ADHD. True narcissists will show these traits to the extremes and will likely relate to all of them, not just some. If you're really concerned you're a narcissist then it's best to speak to a professional about it as they're the only ones who can actually diagnose you. If you don't show passive aggressiveness and don't gaslight though then I highly doubt you're a narcissist. Gaslighting especially is the main narcissistic behavior
Thanks for the comment. This helps because I have met true narcissists and I don’t think I’m as bad as them. But I also know people who are less narcissistic than me so I’m not totally stable . I will just have to work on some of the tendencies I have and make it work for the collective benefit.
The human brain is incredibly complex and it's all a sliding scale. We all have stuff we need to work on, but if you're self aware enough to know what you need to work on then that's a very good sign
This seems overly simplified and another example of everybody thats not a complete generic npc must have some sort of disorder these days.
I have a feeling INFPs may score a bit higher on narcissism. I would'nt worry about it unless you get a clinical diagnosis from a psychologist though. Sub-clinical levels of narcissism aren't enough to effect your life in utterly destructive ways, especially if you're aware of it. That's why it's sub clinical. There are plenty of people who are successful that have higher levels of narcissism. There's actually at least one book about it. In fact people say narcissism can help you to be successful sometimes. Me I come from a family with at least three others that likely have elevated narcissism. My grandmother, grandfather, mother, and then I would make four. I have a feeling I'm a bit above average too. Don't see a reason to care though.
One good reason for caring is that it may not negatively impact you but others. I recognize that caring about negatively affecting others may not be a particular concern for people with elevated levels of narcissism, but I would challenge you to consider the ethical implications of this way of relating to the world
I think its funny when people talk to me about ethics. Our society has such a broken social contract right now it's ridiculous. Ethics is about everyone involved getting a slice equal to the effort they put in & are capable of, but it's also used to try and get a larger slice by basically everyone. You spoke about INFPs not really caring about people & acting purposefully hurt when called out on it. That's a good example of ethics these days. Being perceived as caring about people is a way of getting bonus social points.
I'm not sure how that pertains
Could you perhaps elaborate on what you're getting at or how it ties into the discussion?
You mentioned ethics, I guess it's a bit of a rabbit trail. Part of the implication is that lots of people don't care these days though, hence the broken social contract.
I'm still not seeing how that ties into what we were talking about... unless you're implying that because the social contract is broken that it's funny/ridiculous when people care to challenge unethical behavior when they see it, a position that I would find deeply ugly and offensive as well as self-indulgent in this context
First off, Narcissistic tendencies are within all of us it’s just on a mere spectrum. https://preview.redd.it/wulp76b7pzad1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=43e1ed2aa01c27d7ca800f282f143de42cf4e35c
Covert narcissism is usually used to describe people with higher than average amounts of narcissistic traits, to the extent that it affects their lives negatively
Yes that makes sense because the more I researched the more I realize almost everyone I ever met have these tendencies . I never considered my husband a narcissist but he scored 40% on the test which is higher than I expected. But I definitely felt like I was the more narcissistic one
Huh 83%
Hey so (from talking to my therapist & reading some posts on r/NPD) there’s no such thing as covert narcissism. You either have NPD or you don’t. Narcissism/NPD *can* manifest in covert behaviors, but the actual subtypes aren’t well defined nor based in the DSM 5. Anytime I see people talk about covert narcissism (which, I’ve seen sooooo many different definitions for), I’m basically seeing people describe CPTSD or BPD on some level. Moreover, as my therapist explained it, we *all* have narcissistic traits. It’s a spectrum and we all fall on it, sometimes lower, sometimes farther depending on the context and what’s going in our lives.
Nice, this makes me feel better thanks for sharing. I still think it’s good to identify my covert behaviours so I can change and grow, but I think labelling oneself isn’t productive because then we identify with the label and maybe feel like we can’t change that. That’s what I hate about diagnosing mental health, it’s like a crutch … “oh I have xyz problem so I can’t help it” etc.
You’re right on point! As my therapist told me: just check in with yourself from time to time to see where you’re at (in terms of any narcissistic traits I may be experiencing) and try and stay aware. For the longest time possibly having NPD or being a covert narcissist was my biggest fear. And what you described is exactly why I was so fearful of it. But reminding myself that I have agency and the power to change gave me all the hope I needed :)) Wherever this journey takes you, I wish you all the best!
Usually when people think of narcissism they are thinking of pathological levels rather than healthy levels of narcissism and I think that's what the OP meant when they used the term but I may be wrong
“Covert” describes the way some people with clinical NPD can present. They certainly exist but you’re correct it’s not a separate DSM diagnosis. It still requires certain boxes to be checked to be considered NPD - but those boxes CAN be checked even if the person is more of the covert, martyr type. Technically, there is no DSM diagnosis for sociopathy or psychopathy either - they all fit under anti-social personality, despite nuanced differences and differences in extremes- but those people definitely exist. DSM has a lot of limitations.
I've always heard that if you are willing to even consider if you're a narcissist, then you're not a narcissist. Not sure how true that is now, as people are more open to accepting personality disorders and diagnosis. I agree everyone has to have at least a little narcissism in them. I've also heard that no one is always as "good" as they think they are. Everyone plays the villain in someone else's story at some point. I do think it's an over used term and thrown about too liberally.
I love this subreddit lol. Always someone vocalizing something I’ve been pondering and dealing with internally myself. “Point one finger and three are pointing back at you.” Not proud of how I’ve handled some things last year which included me feeling like some people I considered myself close to secretly conspiring against me. I felt so paranoid and crazy and at the same time so just and certain of my perceptions and the “clues” I collected. I accused these people of possibly being or at least having narcissistic traits. Fast forward, after a lot of self analyzing and viewing my actions in a different light instead of believing I was the poor kind soul being mistreated and betrayed by everyone… I began to see the errors of my ways (not just this situation but dating further back and in present day.) How quickly I react horribly after being triggered. Yeah, there were lies or truths that were never mentioned that hurt me…but it all could have been handled so much better. They were flawed people that didn’t receive the nurturing and proper care they deserved when growing up and learning how to navigate in this world, just as myself which caused unhealthy coping mechanisms to develop and become hardwired. It pains me that I didn’t realize this at the time being so completely consumed with my intuition and how I was affected by things. It was all about me. Today I got a simple tattoo that is immensely important to me as every time I look at it I’ll be reminded to do my best not to handle delicate situations when triggered or angry. Thank you for bringing this topic up! Sometimes it feels lonely in our minds and a fear of harsh criticism with some topics so we keep it to ourselves. So it’s great to know these thoughts aren’t as unexplored by others as we believe.
**Your covert narcissism is low (16.3%).** Guess I'm a normal INFP then lol. Honestly half of those questions are just too easy to see through. Probably doesn't hold a lot of weight without putting someone through social tests to see what their baseline behaviors and reactions are. So I wouldn't put too much faith in it that all INFPs are coverts.
Remember that people can make up whatever they want on the internet. A narcissist would never wonder if they are a narcissist. A narcissist is not interested in anyone else’s opinion or analysis of their personality. So if you have enough of an honest self reflection to wonder if you are a narcissist, that means you probably aren’t.
If you’re concerned you’re a narcissist, then you’re not one. A true narcissist wouldn’t worry about it.
Wait, so thinking everyone is better than me and feeling like everyone resents me for being a shitter is actually narcissism? Dope.
If you're suspecting that you are a narcissist, most likely you are not one. You probably have narcissistic traits.
47% 🤓
I’ve been called a narcissist but everything I’ve researched including this test and advice from professionals tells me I’m not.
I got 34.4% I felt like a lot of the questions were about holding back anger or jealousy at others for having what I don't when I really haven't felt those types of feelings often since after my teenage years. Instead of being jealous of good looking people, I'd say more now that I admire their looks lol. I used to wish I was pretty like my sister growing up or that I just was her, but then as I got older I realized that I don't really want my sisters life or her looks, I just wanted to be loved by other people like she was in my eyes. But then I also realized that I wanted to be loved by others as me and not as anyone else. So that jealousy ended too. I also think when I was younger I used to talk about myself nonstop cause I didn't really take others into consideration but I slowly learned to ask them questions about themselves, let them talk etc. And nowadays I will happily listen to someone talk for hours about themselves irl as long as they're telling me all their deepest innermost thoughts or something equally interesting like their crush or dreams in life and not just talking about the weather 😅. I do think I share a lot of narcissistic traits however like hypersensitivity, passive-agressivemess (maybe not so much in my normal life just at work since I can't show that I'm frustrated lol), difficulty maintaining relationships, and social withdrawal because people with social anxiety tend to have many overlapping traits and I have something like that. I mean I guess I could though, not like I'm a psychologist or anything, and tests can be pretty unreliable. Edit: just wanna say thanks for the interesting post though, haha I love these kinds of questions
Love your comment!
Tbh everyone is somewhat level of narcissism. It doesn't automatically make you a bad person BUT it's good to have good sense of awareness of your actions.
This is a weird concept to me, because I associate INFP and ENFP with higher levels of empathy than the general population. Consider reading about reactive abuse.
I like this video. [https://youtu.be/ZQcWJCNKMYo?si=Di6f9o6OnPWXlXMg](https://youtu.be/ZQcWJCNKMYo?si=Di6f9o6OnPWXlXMg) Narcissists don't care about others. INFPs sympathize with others well.
This one is tricky because there is a lot of overlap between inferiority/self-esteem issues and covert narcissism. I think the easiest way to tell the difference is by considering empathy. Narcissists in general lack empathy and will only show it manipulatively. INFPs on the other hand are highly empathetic.
The things that you list don’t massively scream covert narcissism. Insecurity, yes. But I think the biggest part of it is the image you want to present to the world. An example would be using your children to make yourself look like a better person/good parent rather than just enjoying being a parent. Everything you do is to make yourself appear better to other people.
23%, not surprised at all. Infp-t could share qualities with narcissism but even that would just be some overlap on a venn diagram. Like many qualities, it's a spectrum from none to all that is likely full of caveats and conditions. We are social creatures, so narcissism goes against the grain and is problematic; but we also need some level of selfishness to get through the various problems life brings up. Everything in moderation may apply here, too.
If you think you’re a covert narcissist it means you can’t be one. A real narcissist would never believe that about themselves. Probably the person who said you were was a real narcissist and you’re taking it to heart too much.
58.7? Is that high or low lol I feel like some of my anxiety about certain things influenced my score
I’m not sure but I definately understand what you’re saying about anxiety. They say hypochondria is a symptom of narcissism because it gets us attention. But I have health anxiety because I have genuine anxiety about getting sick, not to garner attention from others …
I scored 7.6% (low covert narcissism) as an INTJ. Honestly it's not surprising to me at all, but given the stereotypes associated with my type I imagine it would be surprising to most people
Dang! lower than my 16.9% lol. Must be a saint in your daily life then.
Contrary to popular stereotypes, INTJs often have some of the strongest and most healthy and balanced moral compasses out there, if not the most because they are the only type to possess permeable ego boundaries, this keeps them humble and grounded in reality at the expense of potential self centeredness and smallmindedness
Learn something new every day! Thanks.
I mean it's subjective which type has the strongest moral compass, I'm just giving my opinion
It's a quite vulnerable sense of self with always ready to lash out upon any indication of negative remarks towars self but definitely I'd say the strongest moral compass of all types
Trust me, INFPs are much more likely to be covert narcissists but INTJs are much more likely to be actual narcissists.
No, I'm not surprised. INTJs won't score high on covert narcissism. They are the least covert narcissists. But they actually score high in NORMAL narcissism lol. When have Voldemort or Aizen been considered covert narcissists? They make it obvious they want attention and praise, not covertly lol.
In fairness there are lots of commonalities with other afflictions, so I wouldn't worry about being in the moderate range. It's just a defence mechanism in response to a world that's quite hard to be in.
Considered it once? Yeah, but rather in times where my anxious ego came forward. I think it has more to do with being selfless and not realizing this ego part of you exists because normally you want to be caring and also geniune Also people with a personality disorder have a weird sense of self and will often get mixed results from tests like mbti. As a related example: you will more often see people with BPD get INFP as a result due to the primary traits being: Intuition and feeling.
Probably
75
I’ve considered it, but turns out I’m not a covert narcissist. I was concerned because I’m also very sensitive to how others perceive me, and I can be very withdrawn. I put a lot of effort into getting people to like me, and if they don’t I tend to take it personally and think I did something wrong. I also tend to put myself first and will keep things secret if it’s not going to harm anyone else. Im not a covert narcissist because I don’t really have any of the malignant traits and I don’t manipulate people, even though I have a solid understanding of how to manipulate others. It’s more like I’m hyper vigilant about being manipulated by others, so it’s a defence mechanism. Even though I put myself first I do consider the needs of others, unless they’ve done something to wrong me then I’m done with them. I also tend to be a very good listener and conversationalist, and find it easy to get people talking and break the ice and get to know people - never really for any personal gain, though. I just like spreading good vibes.
Covert? Hell nah, I pre-emptively tell people so that they aren't surprised and I still built a half decent friend group. I find my common sense is different than most peoples so that just exacerbated the entire situation. Edit: Scored a 62% which feels like a rookie number, but then I guess any more and it wouldnt be "covert"
Everyone has "narcissistic traits" because they are human traits. It depends how strongly they dictate every aspect of your life. People with a narcissistic disorder would never (truly) take accountability for their actions. If they get (even perceived) negative feedback they would default to blaming every wrongdoing on someone or something else. Narcissists are delusional about themselves. They strongly believe in the narrative that they are always the victim and they will twist everything so this makes sense to them. Also their double standards are sky high. They demand absolut loyalty but would easily stab others in the back. And since they feel entitled nothing you do for them is enough. The bar always resets to zero. Every new addition is taken for granted and their demands become bigger. On the other hand every (even most basic) thing they do is used to upgrade their image and seen as a transaction. If you where a narcissist you wouldn't mind lying to get what you want. And if found out with proof you would still be pissed, because how dare others discover your lie (even search for it in the first place). Obviously it's their fault now, because it would have been so peaceful if they just played along. I always think about "The Narcissist's Prayer" (by Dayna Craig) That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, you deserved it.
Oh yes, don’t even need to take the test. I always said I turned my anxiety into a god complex.
I scored Low, which the test said was in the population average. Probably the reason why you think most people are narcissistic, may just be due to past trauma and distrusting the motives of others. As someone who’s been through past trauma too, I get it. If it’s all you’ve seen in your childhood, it’s all you’ll expect.
Definitely, I am 25 now but I have a history of being in abusive friendships and relationships and my childhood wasn’t the best. I’m only now beginning to experience healthy relationships which is new for me.
I'm an INTJ and I don't identify with the characteristics of either form of narcissism but in my experience INFPs tend to fit the characteristics associated with covert narcissism to a T. In my opinion it has nothing to do with trauma as both forms of narcissism come from being spoiled and pampered in childhood rather than being neglected or abused imo