Divulging private information is against both our rules and reddit's site wide rules. We have no interest in engaging in any witch hunts or vigilante justice; therefore, your post has been removed.
what peeves more than anything else dealing with narcs is their inability to listen to the words you are saying. They hear what they want and act on it.
After a 3-5m spiel to mum about how it's annoying that she constantly asks if she can eat our food (we always get excess takeout for the two of us so she can have some to eat) and carefully explaining that "unless we ask you to not eat something, feel free to eat whatever food is left out", she nodded her understanding. I asked her to explain what I was talking about.
"I can't eat any food you guys bring home unless you tell me I can eat it"
The gymnastics she made to get to that conclusion would've put any gold medallist to shame.
'Please don't touch the food cooking or add anything to it because I'm following a recipe' becomes 'dont enter the kitchen ever and don't even think about making food in the kitchen's. Cue mum barely eating for 3 days.
I hate this inherent victimhood for absolutely anything and everything.
Something I've learned from my therapist about this type of behavior, because my mom can be similar, is that it's called "learned helplessness". Basically, my mom responds to me in such drastic ways in part because she learned those behaviors in her abusive childhood. She does a lot more than this type of stuff and it can be pretty intense, but I won't delve into that all.
Interestingly, because of her, I learned really early on in MY childhood that things like "go get me the *whatever*" didn't mean ask what the "whatever" part was, as that was going to get you screamed at for "not using your brain". It was assess what she's doing, figure out what she probably meant, go find it, and come back anxiously awaiting if I was right or not. 50/50 chance I get screamed at. Because of trauma like that, if people tell me certain things, or respond in certain ways, I absolutely go into "oh this means I have done something wrong and they're just trying to nicely tell me to fuck off and die. I better do that before they get angrier at me. I'm scared and mistrustful because of my past, so I need to get away from them and leave them alone." I am a highly anxious person, and I absolutely turn things against myself a lot because my brain is forcing it onto me.
It's interesting how similar responses can be narcissistic, learned helplessness, fear and anxiety from prior trauma, or all/some of them combined! This parent in the main story, though, is as we call them in my native tongue, cray cray.
It's the vagueness that always gets me. Like they know they'll get support no matter what, as long as they don't explicitly say what the issue was or specifically how they handled it. Asking for a favor could mean $20 for gas, or buying a large amount of meth, and the reaction could've been "terribly sorry to bother you" to pulling a gun on them. When anyone's this vague in a post I always opt to believe the later, until they give more detail.
oh wow i just spent the last hour reading that site! answered so many questions i had about feeling guilty (went NC with mother in September and she's been trying to utilize people to reach me and telling them i'm not doing well, like how does she know!) and i sure don't feel as guilty anymore! now i think i'm a textbook case of why kids go no contact! so many examples reminded me of my mother, thank you!
I'm glad it was able to help someone today! It's like clockwork how the parents of estranged children always claim "no reason" or "overreacting" when more often than not they damn well know why we stopped talking to them. I finally went full NC after several years of LC back in November and it's been an immense relief. I hope you're able to find your peace as well
you find peace as well! i am grateful to have found your link. :)
i learned a lot about how people like that think. the whole "emotion creates reality vs. reality creates emotions" thing explained *sooo much*!!! even for my own well being.
It is so scary that these people have support online to encourage their beliefs and behaviour. You would think that with ALL your children turning against you it would give you a clue where the problem lies.
I sometimes wonder if my MIL has joined any of these communities. My husband and I have been NC with her (his choice), and by proxy his whole family, for about 10 years now. Her oldest child, her daughter, went NC before we did, and she always blamed her daughter's now husband for it. I'm sure she blames me for our estrangement with her, but really, my husband just got sick of the way she treated me, and after she threw a tantrum in public, in front of our kids, he decided he was done.
Our life has been so much more peaceful without them in it. If my husband said he wanted to reconcile, I'd be tentatively ok with it depending on the boundaries set, but I've already come to terms with the fact that she and I will never have a real, healthy relationship, regardless of if my husband has one with her or not.
I wouldn't be surprised if she's in groups like this.
I was diagnosed with ODD when I was 12, and I can 100% say I was horribly abused and neglected. I was essentially a human punching bag for my father and it made me hate authority figures because as a typical boomer, he demanded respect and in turn I was called a liar and a brat.
Thank you, life’s gotten a lot better since he died. I do still sometimes struggle with not wanting to do something if I’m told to do it, but if I’m asked I have no problem doing whatever it may be. It has taken years of therapy to be able to handle the waves of PTSD and such. I went NC with them shortly after I gave birth because I didn’t want my daughter exposed to them and it was the best thing I ever did. Nothing was more freeing. And of course, they painted themselves to be the victims like this woman is trying to do.
I’m glad to hear you are taking care of yourself and taking the steps to heal.
They will always be the victims in their minds, no matter what. Not having to take any responsibility for the damage they have caused, along with slandering their own children makes it so vile.
Good on you for breaking the cycle, keep going and live your best life. Some days will be hard but it does feel amazing to escape their grasp.
My daughter is the one I credit with giving me the courage to walk away and start to heal. I refused to hurt her in that way. She’s 19 now and currently pregnant and she absolutely adores me. I gentle parented her and gave her so much love that we have an amazing and beautiful bond. And thank you, it’s not always an easy road, but so worth it to break the cycle.
This made me so happy to read. I wish you all the best with health and happiness. There is nothing more triumphant than a child from a bad home grow up to have their own families and to hear they have strong relationships with their kids.
This is news to me. Granted, I've never done research into ODD, but this is very interesting. I was told when I was younger that I wasn't being abused since I wasn't hit for no reason (Aka, I was only slapped when I was 'out of control')
Yeah, I've started to learn that. I haven't been slapped in a while, but I'm 23. It's a long story, but now I feel like if I mention anything to my parents, they will find a way to tell me how I'm viewing the situation wrong or overreacting
To be clear, they would usually slap me as a 'last resort'. Not justifying what they've done, but if I was still upset and against them AFTER I had all my electronics taken away for a certain period of time, I would be hit. I remember clearly one of the times this happened was because I had to wash my hands before my shower, and I wanted to dry them as well. So yes, I was slapped when I was younger, but it wasn't the go-to punishment when I was 'misbehaving'
From what my oldest child's nana said, it is caused by witnessing a person in a parental or caregiver role doing something... Horrible for lack of a better word. Thus, they don't trust them.
My oldest child's father has ODD from seeing his older brother physically abused by their father when he was 2. Nana saw the aftermath as she was not home at the time and she started the process of divorce.
He still has ODD.
Very similar to what the lady in the post says about her son. ODD, adhdh, borderline sociopath. The difference is nana got my son's father help immediately.
That’s what I thought and the impression I was getting was, “my son has ODD and all these other issues that stem from neglect/abuse, and I can’t seem to figure out why he won’t talk to me.”
It's almost a game to find where they let slip too much information and contradict themselves vs when they are omitting information.
"He is engaged. He doesn't even know about this girl" only to have that paragraph end with the reveal that she and her husband had been saying the fiance is bad for at least 3 and half years. I think he's gotten to know her by now.
Talks about receiving a text from her daughter about being dead to her and another text later saying she's no longer family. How outrageous! Her husband said she did too much for those kids! A dozen sentences before saying she did too much, she said her son took all her energy and her daughters "got the left overs."
Talks about how her son tells people that she demanded money back from him all at once without "telling them why." Ma'am you *did* demand a chunk of money back from your son, apparently out of the blue one day on speakerphone, with your "why" being that you were already convinced he wouldn't give you the money back AND it wasn't your idea.
Ends by saying her children have used words like boundaries around her and that she won't give in. Yeah lady, you stick it to your kids! That'll show em! Also yes, obviously you'd do *anything* to end the estrangement and it's your children who can't admit they might be the problem.
“Ah, we’re into page three without a period or paragraph change. What a valid argument she’s making in all caps. This must be what Plato felt around Aristotle…”
Rewrite:
After 2 years of estrangement from my daughter, she gave me a chance but then gave up again within 3 days. Then I asked my son for a favour (I'm not going to tell you what the favour was), and wasn't satisfied with his reasons for not being able to fulfill my request. One of those reasons was "I have a life", but he doesn't prioritise what I want over his other priorities, so that's proof he doesn't care about me. I don't like his long term girlfriend and he isn't willing to take others' advice about it, so I'm currently holding a grudge instead of accepting he'll make his own mistakes. They are a perfect match but they don't want kids, which I don't like, and I've brought it up so many times that my son refuses to even discuss it with me now.
Anyway, when he refused my demand for a "favour", I threw a regret from his past in his face to paint him as a selfish person, so he cut me off too. I don't care! Raising him was difficult because of his neurodiversity, so I've diagnosed him as a sociopathic narcissist. I was so bad at handling his struggles as a child that I basically ignored his sister, who also doesn't speak to me.
I'm so done with both of them! After my husband died, my son decided not to move back to Jersey and live near me, which I'm still angry about.
I had a long term hospital stay 2 years ago, and during that time I provoked my daughter so much that she told me I'm dead to her. I won't tell you why, but I'd like you to believe me that I am a victim in that situation. She reiterated 2 months after I left hospital that she doesn't consider me family.
I once lent my son some money to help him repair his car (which he needed), then somebody else suggested that I demand he pay 50% of it back almost immediately, so I did. He was upset because that wasn't our agreement and he wouldn't have made such a big purchase if he knew I would do this, and I never gave him a real reason for changing our agreement.
Both my kids tell other people that I victimised their father, and I have no defense against that accusation so I just say "whatever". In response to my frequent demands and pleas for attention and various favours, they remind me that they have their own lives now and everything can't revolve around me. My kids both separately believe I am the problem, and tell other people in their lives about my behaviour. Don't waste your time trying to gaslight them into contact with you, they'll never surrender all their personal boundaries to cater to you, and you (like me) will never take any form of accountability for your own behaviour.
Was diagnosed with BPD a year ago and can definitely see the similarities between this woman and my Mom. She was never diagnosed but I fully believe she had it as well. The sheer number of things she either "forgot" happened or remembered a completely different way were baffling.
Wow. Based on some of the information I thought this could have been written by my mom, but especially the being cut off by the daughter in 2022 while being in the hospital. But a lot of the facts are so different that i know my mom wouldn't have changed enough of the facts to hide her identity.
I actually said to my mom yesterday “I don’t understand how you put 100% of the blame on me when there’s two of us in this relationship” and she completely disregarded that and said I was trying to control her through my words 🙄🙄
Nah, it's hard to understand either her English or her reasons. She's so vague that you need to section the post into 3-4 lines parts, to understand something (or question her reasoning).
This "mother" is crying to the internet that her kids don't want to know anything about her and, apparently, both her son and daughter stopped talking to her for no reason. She brings up every time she needed her kids to help her and how they disregarded her. She called them ungrateful but wants them back with her so badly, that she offered to pay for the relocation of her son.
What she's not telling but it's pretty obvious is the kids reasons for not talking to her. She's constantly asking her kids to solve her problems and doesn't accept a "no". Of course, all this isn't her fault but her daughter's, her son's , her daughter-in-law's, her deceased husband's and even the therapist's for not solve her kids "personality".
I'm glad that those adults kids are far away from their mother, because no one deserves a person like that in their lives.
I know for a fact my NC father and stepmother create narratives about me and my life that are similar to this person. My therapist basically told me “haters are gonna hate” and I cannot control how other people perceive me lol
Voting has concluded. Final vote:
| Insane | Not insane | Fake |
| --- | --- | --- |
| 9 | 0 | 0 |
Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`.
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The fact that parents like these look for validation is what gets me. You have 2+ kids, both have you at arms length and somehow they are the victim. No details. Or at least no details that might make us think the reason is on their side. Being the kid of a narc mom, this honestly made all my alarm bells go off.
Divulging private information is against both our rules and reddit's site wide rules. We have no interest in engaging in any witch hunts or vigilante justice; therefore, your post has been removed.
what peeves more than anything else dealing with narcs is their inability to listen to the words you are saying. They hear what they want and act on it. After a 3-5m spiel to mum about how it's annoying that she constantly asks if she can eat our food (we always get excess takeout for the two of us so she can have some to eat) and carefully explaining that "unless we ask you to not eat something, feel free to eat whatever food is left out", she nodded her understanding. I asked her to explain what I was talking about. "I can't eat any food you guys bring home unless you tell me I can eat it" The gymnastics she made to get to that conclusion would've put any gold medallist to shame. 'Please don't touch the food cooking or add anything to it because I'm following a recipe' becomes 'dont enter the kitchen ever and don't even think about making food in the kitchen's. Cue mum barely eating for 3 days. I hate this inherent victimhood for absolutely anything and everything.
Someone needs to go live in a home lol
Something I've learned from my therapist about this type of behavior, because my mom can be similar, is that it's called "learned helplessness". Basically, my mom responds to me in such drastic ways in part because she learned those behaviors in her abusive childhood. She does a lot more than this type of stuff and it can be pretty intense, but I won't delve into that all. Interestingly, because of her, I learned really early on in MY childhood that things like "go get me the *whatever*" didn't mean ask what the "whatever" part was, as that was going to get you screamed at for "not using your brain". It was assess what she's doing, figure out what she probably meant, go find it, and come back anxiously awaiting if I was right or not. 50/50 chance I get screamed at. Because of trauma like that, if people tell me certain things, or respond in certain ways, I absolutely go into "oh this means I have done something wrong and they're just trying to nicely tell me to fuck off and die. I better do that before they get angrier at me. I'm scared and mistrustful because of my past, so I need to get away from them and leave them alone." I am a highly anxious person, and I absolutely turn things against myself a lot because my brain is forcing it onto me. It's interesting how similar responses can be narcissistic, learned helplessness, fear and anxiety from prior trauma, or all/some of them combined! This parent in the main story, though, is as we call them in my native tongue, cray cray.
It's the vagueness that always gets me. Like they know they'll get support no matter what, as long as they don't explicitly say what the issue was or specifically how they handled it. Asking for a favor could mean $20 for gas, or buying a large amount of meth, and the reaction could've been "terribly sorry to bother you" to pulling a gun on them. When anyone's this vague in a post I always opt to believe the later, until they give more detail.
It's the [Missing Missing Reasons](https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons.html)
oh wow i just spent the last hour reading that site! answered so many questions i had about feeling guilty (went NC with mother in September and she's been trying to utilize people to reach me and telling them i'm not doing well, like how does she know!) and i sure don't feel as guilty anymore! now i think i'm a textbook case of why kids go no contact! so many examples reminded me of my mother, thank you!
I'm glad it was able to help someone today! It's like clockwork how the parents of estranged children always claim "no reason" or "overreacting" when more often than not they damn well know why we stopped talking to them. I finally went full NC after several years of LC back in November and it's been an immense relief. I hope you're able to find your peace as well
you find peace as well! i am grateful to have found your link. :) i learned a lot about how people like that think. the whole "emotion creates reality vs. reality creates emotions" thing explained *sooo much*!!! even for my own well being.
It is so scary that these people have support online to encourage their beliefs and behaviour. You would think that with ALL your children turning against you it would give you a clue where the problem lies.
I sometimes wonder if my MIL has joined any of these communities. My husband and I have been NC with her (his choice), and by proxy his whole family, for about 10 years now. Her oldest child, her daughter, went NC before we did, and she always blamed her daughter's now husband for it. I'm sure she blames me for our estrangement with her, but really, my husband just got sick of the way she treated me, and after she threw a tantrum in public, in front of our kids, he decided he was done. Our life has been so much more peaceful without them in it. If my husband said he wanted to reconcile, I'd be tentatively ok with it depending on the boundaries set, but I've already come to terms with the fact that she and I will never have a real, healthy relationship, regardless of if my husband has one with her or not. I wouldn't be surprised if she's in groups like this.
Someone correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought ODD was diagnosed in childhood and one of the main causes for it is abuse/neglect in the home.
I was diagnosed with ODD when I was 12, and I can 100% say I was horribly abused and neglected. I was essentially a human punching bag for my father and it made me hate authority figures because as a typical boomer, he demanded respect and in turn I was called a liar and a brat.
I’m sorry you had someone like him for a parent. It’s not right to take your problems out on your kids.
Thank you, life’s gotten a lot better since he died. I do still sometimes struggle with not wanting to do something if I’m told to do it, but if I’m asked I have no problem doing whatever it may be. It has taken years of therapy to be able to handle the waves of PTSD and such. I went NC with them shortly after I gave birth because I didn’t want my daughter exposed to them and it was the best thing I ever did. Nothing was more freeing. And of course, they painted themselves to be the victims like this woman is trying to do.
I’m glad to hear you are taking care of yourself and taking the steps to heal. They will always be the victims in their minds, no matter what. Not having to take any responsibility for the damage they have caused, along with slandering their own children makes it so vile. Good on you for breaking the cycle, keep going and live your best life. Some days will be hard but it does feel amazing to escape their grasp.
My daughter is the one I credit with giving me the courage to walk away and start to heal. I refused to hurt her in that way. She’s 19 now and currently pregnant and she absolutely adores me. I gentle parented her and gave her so much love that we have an amazing and beautiful bond. And thank you, it’s not always an easy road, but so worth it to break the cycle.
This made me so happy to read. I wish you all the best with health and happiness. There is nothing more triumphant than a child from a bad home grow up to have their own families and to hear they have strong relationships with their kids.
Thank you! I wish you nothing but love and light in life! I hope you have strong and healthy relationships and that karma smiles upon you!
Thank you ❤️
The way this " mother" says she put all her "energy" on her son and gave the "leftovers" to her daughter, makes me vomit 🤮.
This is news to me. Granted, I've never done research into ODD, but this is very interesting. I was told when I was younger that I wasn't being abused since I wasn't hit for no reason (Aka, I was only slapped when I was 'out of control')
You shouldn’t have been hit at all, I’m so sorry. It’s still abuse and they manipulated you on top of it- “if you behave you won’t get hit”
Yeah, I've started to learn that. I haven't been slapped in a while, but I'm 23. It's a long story, but now I feel like if I mention anything to my parents, they will find a way to tell me how I'm viewing the situation wrong or overreacting To be clear, they would usually slap me as a 'last resort'. Not justifying what they've done, but if I was still upset and against them AFTER I had all my electronics taken away for a certain period of time, I would be hit. I remember clearly one of the times this happened was because I had to wash my hands before my shower, and I wanted to dry them as well. So yes, I was slapped when I was younger, but it wasn't the go-to punishment when I was 'misbehaving'
From what my oldest child's nana said, it is caused by witnessing a person in a parental or caregiver role doing something... Horrible for lack of a better word. Thus, they don't trust them. My oldest child's father has ODD from seeing his older brother physically abused by their father when he was 2. Nana saw the aftermath as she was not home at the time and she started the process of divorce. He still has ODD. Very similar to what the lady in the post says about her son. ODD, adhdh, borderline sociopath. The difference is nana got my son's father help immediately.
That’s what I thought and the impression I was getting was, “my son has ODD and all these other issues that stem from neglect/abuse, and I can’t seem to figure out why he won’t talk to me.”
Yep. Purposely a lot of vital information left out.
It's almost a game to find where they let slip too much information and contradict themselves vs when they are omitting information. "He is engaged. He doesn't even know about this girl" only to have that paragraph end with the reveal that she and her husband had been saying the fiance is bad for at least 3 and half years. I think he's gotten to know her by now. Talks about receiving a text from her daughter about being dead to her and another text later saying she's no longer family. How outrageous! Her husband said she did too much for those kids! A dozen sentences before saying she did too much, she said her son took all her energy and her daughters "got the left overs." Talks about how her son tells people that she demanded money back from him all at once without "telling them why." Ma'am you *did* demand a chunk of money back from your son, apparently out of the blue one day on speakerphone, with your "why" being that you were already convinced he wouldn't give you the money back AND it wasn't your idea. Ends by saying her children have used words like boundaries around her and that she won't give in. Yeah lady, you stick it to your kids! That'll show em! Also yes, obviously you'd do *anything* to end the estrangement and it's your children who can't admit they might be the problem.
I don’t understand how someone can read this and not think this person is the problem? Probably unless you identify with this crazy woman somehow lol
“Ah, we’re into page three without a period or paragraph change. What a valid argument she’s making in all caps. This must be what Plato felt around Aristotle…”
I don’t understand how anyone could read this.
my mother can't figure out why all her kids hate her and everyone else "loves" her (they don't).
Rewrite: After 2 years of estrangement from my daughter, she gave me a chance but then gave up again within 3 days. Then I asked my son for a favour (I'm not going to tell you what the favour was), and wasn't satisfied with his reasons for not being able to fulfill my request. One of those reasons was "I have a life", but he doesn't prioritise what I want over his other priorities, so that's proof he doesn't care about me. I don't like his long term girlfriend and he isn't willing to take others' advice about it, so I'm currently holding a grudge instead of accepting he'll make his own mistakes. They are a perfect match but they don't want kids, which I don't like, and I've brought it up so many times that my son refuses to even discuss it with me now. Anyway, when he refused my demand for a "favour", I threw a regret from his past in his face to paint him as a selfish person, so he cut me off too. I don't care! Raising him was difficult because of his neurodiversity, so I've diagnosed him as a sociopathic narcissist. I was so bad at handling his struggles as a child that I basically ignored his sister, who also doesn't speak to me. I'm so done with both of them! After my husband died, my son decided not to move back to Jersey and live near me, which I'm still angry about. I had a long term hospital stay 2 years ago, and during that time I provoked my daughter so much that she told me I'm dead to her. I won't tell you why, but I'd like you to believe me that I am a victim in that situation. She reiterated 2 months after I left hospital that she doesn't consider me family. I once lent my son some money to help him repair his car (which he needed), then somebody else suggested that I demand he pay 50% of it back almost immediately, so I did. He was upset because that wasn't our agreement and he wouldn't have made such a big purchase if he knew I would do this, and I never gave him a real reason for changing our agreement. Both my kids tell other people that I victimised their father, and I have no defense against that accusation so I just say "whatever". In response to my frequent demands and pleas for attention and various favours, they remind me that they have their own lives now and everything can't revolve around me. My kids both separately believe I am the problem, and tell other people in their lives about my behaviour. Don't waste your time trying to gaslight them into contact with you, they'll never surrender all their personal boundaries to cater to you, and you (like me) will never take any form of accountability for your own behaviour.
👏👏👏 Nailed it.
Was diagnosed with BPD a year ago and can definitely see the similarities between this woman and my Mom. She was never diagnosed but I fully believe she had it as well. The sheer number of things she either "forgot" happened or remembered a completely different way were baffling.
Sounds like my narc nice guilt trip wonder is she's Catholic. Lol
In New Jersey?
I have to ask just bc of curiosity, does your comment mean “good chance bc NJ” or “people in NJ aren’t catholic”
Never been to NJ, but I doubt there is a place in the US void of religious fanatics
erm new jersey has a lot of people originally from italy, and they are predominantly catholic,
Talk about "missing-missing reasons"
Wow. Based on some of the information I thought this could have been written by my mom, but especially the being cut off by the daughter in 2022 while being in the hospital. But a lot of the facts are so different that i know my mom wouldn't have changed enough of the facts to hide her identity.
The fact that this has been posted to social media at all proves well enough that's insane, don't even need to read anymore beyond that.
The amount of irony here. "They refuse to acknowledge they might be the problem." Ma'am, go look in the mirror and say that out loud till it clicks.
I actually said to my mom yesterday “I don’t understand how you put 100% of the blame on me when there’s two of us in this relationship” and she completely disregarded that and said I was trying to control her through my words 🙄🙄
I laughed at this because of of how deeply I felt it inside.
It is hard to understand or my English sucks? Cause I’m more lost then before I found this post
Nah, it's hard to understand either her English or her reasons. She's so vague that you need to section the post into 3-4 lines parts, to understand something (or question her reasoning).
Typical boomer trying to tell their story in a 3 part epic, as if their life matters.
Can someone please summarize? My distracted ass brain can't even read that massive 3 page wall of text
This "mother" is crying to the internet that her kids don't want to know anything about her and, apparently, both her son and daughter stopped talking to her for no reason. She brings up every time she needed her kids to help her and how they disregarded her. She called them ungrateful but wants them back with her so badly, that she offered to pay for the relocation of her son. What she's not telling but it's pretty obvious is the kids reasons for not talking to her. She's constantly asking her kids to solve her problems and doesn't accept a "no". Of course, all this isn't her fault but her daughter's, her son's , her daughter-in-law's, her deceased husband's and even the therapist's for not solve her kids "personality". I'm glad that those adults kids are far away from their mother, because no one deserves a person like that in their lives.
Thank you kind stranger! Gotta love when it's literally everybody else's fault lol
There is none so blind as (s)he who will not see. What a terrible mother.
I know for a fact my NC father and stepmother create narratives about me and my life that are similar to this person. My therapist basically told me “haters are gonna hate” and I cannot control how other people perceive me lol
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 9 | 0 | 0 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
Insane
The fact that parents like these look for validation is what gets me. You have 2+ kids, both have you at arms length and somehow they are the victim. No details. Or at least no details that might make us think the reason is on their side. Being the kid of a narc mom, this honestly made all my alarm bells go off.
I know it's not but holy fk this sounds like my dad