I hate hearing my real name so much that I've gone by several shortened versions of it. Having my name called reminds me of being called to my mother to be chastised/hit. My name was also said to me as if it was an insult all through my childhood. It sounds like shame/guilt/pity all rolled into one. But really no matter what name I'm using, I still get that moment of freeze when it's said. It's something directed straight at me and so could always be an incoming attack.
Yes but I think mine stems from abuse I had as a child. But my husband and kids know not to say my name. They each have a nickname for me and I feel it’s enduring. Some of my friends have picked up on them and started calling me that too.
When I had to wear a name tag, it was kind of a badge that dangled from a clip, and I always made sure it "accidentally" hung backwards so people couldn't see my name. If I don't know your name, you don't get to randomly call out mine!
I’ve noticed that during a discussion if the other party is upset with me (or the point I’m making) they’ll say my name at the end of a sentence. This makes the point they’re making more personal, in a negative way.
Consider this exchange:
“Why is the carpet all wet, Todd?”
“I don’t know, Margo!”
As a result, I never like hearing my name at the end of a sentence.
Man...I do this to my closest friends and I'm scared of that's what they feel- idk
I only hate it if it's someone I actively dislike being with or Im not that friendly to them
I hate when clothing stores ask you your name so they can write it on the changing room door. Then a few minutes later they come by, loudly knocking on the door and at the same time calling out your name asking if you need anything else. It feels so violating to me as it's like they are shouting at me. I hate it so much that now I ask them not to do it.
Oh my, that sounds absolutely horrible. As far as I know, they don't have that in the Netherlands. Not at the stores I visit at least, I hope that never changes.
I hate it, too. There are a lot of not happy memories attached to it. I kept my name officially, but I have changed how people call me on a daily basis. Doing this was the best idea ever, it has made me a happier person.
Yeah when I worked at a public library I used to hate when visitors asked my name or called me by my name, it made me really uncomfortable so I stopped wearing my name tag. I also feel kinda awkward using other people’s name and it takes me quite a long time to be comfortable calling out other people’s name.
I even get annoyed when this one friend uses my name in texts. It feels too formal, for one thing. "Hello, TornadoGirl" instead of just "Hi" and right on into the subject matter like most people do nowadays. This same friend also always feels it necessary to send a final thank you text, again with my name: "Thanks, TornadoGirl." I feel guilty that this annoys me. The final, to me unnecessary, thank you text bugs me because my phone chimes and I have to look to see whether the text contains actual new content if you see what I mean. Prior to it, the conversation was concluded as far as I knew, so it's like an interruption. I want to tell her to stop, but that would be rude and she would probably forget and do it anyway, and obviously it makes a big deal out of a small thing. Just wish I could stop it from bugging me so.
I don't. Why do you hate your name? Is it because you don't like it, or does it sound weird? Or is it more like social anxiety?
Even though you hate your name, you need to accept it. After all, it’s your name. I don’t know what your name is, but you should love it. If you don't, who will?
I have the opposite poblem: I hate calling other people by their names. It makes me feel awkward for some reason. Like I usually go "umm..." and then say what I have to say lol.
Until just now, I thought I was the only one who felt this way. Many times when someone calls out my name I immediately respond “I didn’t do it. You can’t prove a thing.” I believe I stole that from Bart Simpson but I adopted it as my mantra.
Same with me. For example my name is Eunice and i hate it when they call it full like that, i prefer just nis, or eun. I feel like i have done something wrong or they were unpleased by me.
I am my mother's caregiver. I hear my name yelled at least 20 times a day. I get filled with dread every time my phone rings, especially if I'm running errands and have a moment to myself. Plus, I have a really weird anxiety about talking on the phone to people, that I've avoided many important phone calls to the point of it causing problems.
But yeah, hearing my name called is like hearing nails on a chalkboard!
If you want to talk about social anxiety, r/socialanxiety is the sub for you.
If you're not sure whether you're introverted or socially anxious, feel free to post on r/Introvert, so we can discuss it.
If you want a sub where posts about social anxiety aren't allowed, try r/Introverts.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/introvert) if you have any questions or concerns.*
same here, but the other problem for me is that I don't like my real name, I hate when someone calls me that name, I wish ppl irl also call me Eri(my nickname) :((
I’m okay with the shortened version of my name. But yeah, I hate my full name being used anywhere. Maybe because it’s a kinda vulnerable thing? If I were to be famous, I’d definitely use a different name. 😵💫
Me too! I luckily have a shorter version/ nickname I can go by and I haven’t had to explain it to anyone yet I just introduce myself as my shortened name and unless it’s a formal document I also only write it out shortened. Rarely I’ll still get someone call me by my full name but it doesn’t bother as much it’s usually a small interaction and I have time to deal with it afterwards if it makes me super uncomfortable.
In class when a teacher would call out my name (whether I was paying attention or not) my heart would just start beating very fast and I would get sort of sweaty and nervous
Same I never liked my name.My mom gave a name for my younger sibling and my name was given to me by my granny who I hate the most.She is my father's mother.I never really had a proper combo with her she is just a bish who tortured my mom.I still don't understand why my mom let her give me a name.Now whenever PPL ask me my name I try to ignore it but it's not like I can just lie to them.I really want to change my name but I couldn't get the courage to tell my mom.I was always jealous of my sib.I never wanted this name or life.
I think it's better for you to change your name.
So I am neuro divergent and one of the Manifestations is for every group of ppl I have to interact with I used a different nickname. Imagine my name is Marguerite, and some ppl called me Marge, and some ppl called me daisy-bc French, and some ppl called me Em. This way if someone from a different setting came up to me out of context- school person at work, work person at store, etc. - however they addressed me told me how I knew them.
I have never used my full name. I strongly dislike my first name. In the post pandemic age of zoom I am CONSTANTLY called by my first name.
I. Hate. It.
To the degree I looked into legally changing my first name. I literally hate it being used.
I feel you
Thank God there are people like me, hahaha
I actually hate calling people by names/roles too. Seems like 1) Names are weird and do not suit people wearing them; 2) It is too private, I feel anxious calling someone by names as I share my feeling with them when I don't feel like being open 🥲🫥
I go by two name, I have my real name and a nickname. My nickname is used a lot due to the fact that people have a hard time saying my real name. I've heard it said in 4 different pronunciation...it's a annoying at first but I just let it go. When I was in High school I had to remind my teachers of my nickname and they would remember. Those who didn't, I had to keep a look out or when there was a substitute and I had to correct them. I've adjusted to my nickname for so long that when I started college I went by my real name and for a second I was like "who's that?" And then I remembered it was me duh! When being called my full name that is my first and middle names, it usually means I'm in trouble... and when I hear people say it over the phone it's merely family gossip of what I'm doing or whatever. Now I've adjusted to go by both names since at work my boss and supervisor call me by my real name and my coworkers call me by my nickname... so I guess it all depends how you see it and what you can do to adjust to it.
Me too but that’s mainly because I don’t like my name. Anyway, I also feel that small shot of adrenaline when I hear someone calling my name since it rarely brings good news
I actually like hearing my name being called a lot. especially if it’s a person that’s basically a stranger still or just met me. it feels kinda warm & personal like if they’re a close person to me already.
I think it came from never having any friends. it makes me feel like people actually care to know who I am,
& if they’re a person I rarely engage with or a person that I like, that says my name all the time I kinda melt inside a bit 🥴
I also feel some type of way when people call my name as well. I'm not even sure why. I actually tell most people that my name is the *extended* version of my name....almost like a nickname. (Ex: Samantha aka "Sammy")
I do that on purpose so that very few people are calling me Samantha. Anyone calling me by my *actual* name feels very *personal* to me.
It's almost like I give very few people permission to call me by it.
Meh.
It sounds like you gave issues with anxiety. Talk therapy can help.
I hate hearing my real name so much that I've gone by several shortened versions of it. Having my name called reminds me of being called to my mother to be chastised/hit. My name was also said to me as if it was an insult all through my childhood. It sounds like shame/guilt/pity all rolled into one. But really no matter what name I'm using, I still get that moment of freeze when it's said. It's something directed straight at me and so could always be an incoming attack.
Whenever someone called my name, my first thought is that I did something wrong. I hate this feeling.
so true... as if my brain is panicking and trying to run as fast as she can
I've recently came to a conclusion with this one. Isn't that's exactly what childhood trauma is?
Any time my name was called in school, it was because I did something wrong or was in trouble. Now it's carried over into adulthood.
Or 'is it even me???'
Same! And I kinda develop a name anxiety
I panic when I hear my name
Yes but I think mine stems from abuse I had as a child. But my husband and kids know not to say my name. They each have a nickname for me and I feel it’s enduring. Some of my friends have picked up on them and started calling me that too.
This is social anxiety.
When I had to wear a name tag, it was kind of a badge that dangled from a clip, and I always made sure it "accidentally" hung backwards so people couldn't see my name. If I don't know your name, you don't get to randomly call out mine!
What I do is pretend I lost my name tag and never wear it again.
I’ve noticed that during a discussion if the other party is upset with me (or the point I’m making) they’ll say my name at the end of a sentence. This makes the point they’re making more personal, in a negative way. Consider this exchange: “Why is the carpet all wet, Todd?” “I don’t know, Margo!” As a result, I never like hearing my name at the end of a sentence.
Man...I do this to my closest friends and I'm scared of that's what they feel- idk I only hate it if it's someone I actively dislike being with or Im not that friendly to them
In my country, you need to get through the entire ten names to get someone's name/ attention correctly
Which country (at least region of the world if youre not comfortable enough sharing) it is?
Me too! I'm over 40 and have never liked hearing someone say my first name to me.
I hate when clothing stores ask you your name so they can write it on the changing room door. Then a few minutes later they come by, loudly knocking on the door and at the same time calling out your name asking if you need anything else. It feels so violating to me as it's like they are shouting at me. I hate it so much that now I ask them not to do it.
Wait.. this is a real thing? Not saying I don't believe you, but like, why?
Personalized service. Plus an opportunity to sell you more if they can bring a different size if something doesn't fit.
Oh my, that sounds absolutely horrible. As far as I know, they don't have that in the Netherlands. Not at the stores I visit at least, I hope that never changes.
I'm in Canada and it's fairly common in the city I live in. I hate it so much as it's so jarring and intrusive.
Could you use a nickname? Would that still bother you? Maybe something fun, or from another language What about Bella?
I tried that. They still knock loudly on the door though which is jolting.
I hate it, too. There are a lot of not happy memories attached to it. I kept my name officially, but I have changed how people call me on a daily basis. Doing this was the best idea ever, it has made me a happier person.
Yeah when I worked at a public library I used to hate when visitors asked my name or called me by my name, it made me really uncomfortable so I stopped wearing my name tag. I also feel kinda awkward using other people’s name and it takes me quite a long time to be comfortable calling out other people’s name.
I like being called by my name. Unfortunately no one calls me by my name.
Why so?
I even get annoyed when this one friend uses my name in texts. It feels too formal, for one thing. "Hello, TornadoGirl" instead of just "Hi" and right on into the subject matter like most people do nowadays. This same friend also always feels it necessary to send a final thank you text, again with my name: "Thanks, TornadoGirl." I feel guilty that this annoys me. The final, to me unnecessary, thank you text bugs me because my phone chimes and I have to look to see whether the text contains actual new content if you see what I mean. Prior to it, the conversation was concluded as far as I knew, so it's like an interruption. I want to tell her to stop, but that would be rude and she would probably forget and do it anyway, and obviously it makes a big deal out of a small thing. Just wish I could stop it from bugging me so.
I don't. Why do you hate your name? Is it because you don't like it, or does it sound weird? Or is it more like social anxiety? Even though you hate your name, you need to accept it. After all, it’s your name. I don’t know what your name is, but you should love it. If you don't, who will?
I have the opposite poblem: I hate calling other people by their names. It makes me feel awkward for some reason. Like I usually go "umm..." and then say what I have to say lol.
Found ya, you just said exactly what I wanted to say.
Until just now, I thought I was the only one who felt this way. Many times when someone calls out my name I immediately respond “I didn’t do it. You can’t prove a thing.” I believe I stole that from Bart Simpson but I adopted it as my mantra.
Same with me. For example my name is Eunice and i hate it when they call it full like that, i prefer just nis, or eun. I feel like i have done something wrong or they were unpleased by me.
I am my mother's caregiver. I hear my name yelled at least 20 times a day. I get filled with dread every time my phone rings, especially if I'm running errands and have a moment to myself. Plus, I have a really weird anxiety about talking on the phone to people, that I've avoided many important phone calls to the point of it causing problems. But yeah, hearing my name called is like hearing nails on a chalkboard!
If you want to talk about social anxiety, r/socialanxiety is the sub for you. If you're not sure whether you're introverted or socially anxious, feel free to post on r/Introvert, so we can discuss it. If you want a sub where posts about social anxiety aren't allowed, try r/Introverts. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/introvert) if you have any questions or concerns.*
same here, but the other problem for me is that I don't like my real name, I hate when someone calls me that name, I wish ppl irl also call me Eri(my nickname) :((
I’m okay with the shortened version of my name. But yeah, I hate my full name being used anywhere. Maybe because it’s a kinda vulnerable thing? If I were to be famous, I’d definitely use a different name. 😵💫
Try this on for size and I know it’s not a competition: I have a job where my name is on my uniform shirt and I am an introvert.
Omg yes. Everytime.
Me too! I luckily have a shorter version/ nickname I can go by and I haven’t had to explain it to anyone yet I just introduce myself as my shortened name and unless it’s a formal document I also only write it out shortened. Rarely I’ll still get someone call me by my full name but it doesn’t bother as much it’s usually a small interaction and I have time to deal with it afterwards if it makes me super uncomfortable.
Same, I also dislike it.
In class when a teacher would call out my name (whether I was paying attention or not) my heart would just start beating very fast and I would get sort of sweaty and nervous
Me, too. I immediately tense up thinking they’re about to say something hurtful or embarrassing about me, even though that’s not always the case.
This !! I hate it too! I cant stand it, like I don’t like people actually mentioning me as well. I just want to exist and be invisible to people
i dont know but you can be trans, i saw a person who discovered their identity when was feeling like that
Couldn’t agree more
Same I never liked my name.My mom gave a name for my younger sibling and my name was given to me by my granny who I hate the most.She is my father's mother.I never really had a proper combo with her she is just a bish who tortured my mom.I still don't understand why my mom let her give me a name.Now whenever PPL ask me my name I try to ignore it but it's not like I can just lie to them.I really want to change my name but I couldn't get the courage to tell my mom.I was always jealous of my sib.I never wanted this name or life. I think it's better for you to change your name.
So I am neuro divergent and one of the Manifestations is for every group of ppl I have to interact with I used a different nickname. Imagine my name is Marguerite, and some ppl called me Marge, and some ppl called me daisy-bc French, and some ppl called me Em. This way if someone from a different setting came up to me out of context- school person at work, work person at store, etc. - however they addressed me told me how I knew them. I have never used my full name. I strongly dislike my first name. In the post pandemic age of zoom I am CONSTANTLY called by my first name. I. Hate. It. To the degree I looked into legally changing my first name. I literally hate it being used. I feel you
I don’t give everyone my real name. When I hear my name I instantly feel like someone wants me to do something I don’t want to do.
why?what's wrong with you name? if you don't mind me asking
Yes I am the same exact way.
Thank God there are people like me, hahaha I actually hate calling people by names/roles too. Seems like 1) Names are weird and do not suit people wearing them; 2) It is too private, I feel anxious calling someone by names as I share my feeling with them when I don't feel like being open 🥲🫥
I go by two name, I have my real name and a nickname. My nickname is used a lot due to the fact that people have a hard time saying my real name. I've heard it said in 4 different pronunciation...it's a annoying at first but I just let it go. When I was in High school I had to remind my teachers of my nickname and they would remember. Those who didn't, I had to keep a look out or when there was a substitute and I had to correct them. I've adjusted to my nickname for so long that when I started college I went by my real name and for a second I was like "who's that?" And then I remembered it was me duh! When being called my full name that is my first and middle names, it usually means I'm in trouble... and when I hear people say it over the phone it's merely family gossip of what I'm doing or whatever. Now I've adjusted to go by both names since at work my boss and supervisor call me by my real name and my coworkers call me by my nickname... so I guess it all depends how you see it and what you can do to adjust to it.
Is it Salehgh or Sulekha ?
I feel cringe hearing my real name.😫
Lmao I literally have the same can’t figure out why
Me too but that’s mainly because I don’t like my name. Anyway, I also feel that small shot of adrenaline when I hear someone calling my name since it rarely brings good news
Change your name?
I actually like hearing my name being called a lot. especially if it’s a person that’s basically a stranger still or just met me. it feels kinda warm & personal like if they’re a close person to me already. I think it came from never having any friends. it makes me feel like people actually care to know who I am, & if they’re a person I rarely engage with or a person that I like, that says my name all the time I kinda melt inside a bit 🥴
Pretty much me.
I also feel some type of way when people call my name as well. I'm not even sure why. I actually tell most people that my name is the *extended* version of my name....almost like a nickname. (Ex: Samantha aka "Sammy") I do that on purpose so that very few people are calling me Samantha. Anyone calling me by my *actual* name feels very *personal* to me. It's almost like I give very few people permission to call me by it. Meh. It sounds like you gave issues with anxiety. Talk therapy can help.
So say people call you nigga you like it👍👍