Introversion is related to what socializing does to you. Extroverts are energized being around others. Introverts are drained. This does not mean you do not enjoy people, have relationships and do things.
I heard from Dr huberman in a clip, even the quiet people in groups may be extroverted it depends on your energy levels, do you gain energy from the experience
Yes but let's be honest "introvert" became such a buzz word it's just thrown around everywhere by people who don't know the meaning. It's not about introverts being lonely or not enjoying people it's about people who you clearly see are CONSTANTLY CHOOSING to be surrounded by people and interact with them almost 24/7 calling themselves introverts because they stayed in for one evening and watched netflix.
It just became another token of "not like other girls/boys" and it's slowly losing it's meaning and turning into aesthetic (might I add it's mostly false very romanticised aesthetic pushed by people who are very extroverted and just like to paint themselves as introverted because they think it's cooler to "be a minority" or whatever).
Do you consider yourself shy as well as introverted? When I was younger I was both…shy because I would get anxious speaking with people I didn’t know or in a classroom setting, and introverted because interacting with people was draining. I’ve gotten over my shyness, but am still super introverted.
So while I agree, the person speaking up in class all the time and going to tons of parties is probably full of shit, some of the others may be introverts but are just able to interact with others much better than I ever did.
But how can you tell who is introverted and who is not? Because you see people having a lot of fun and that must mean they are extroverted? I guess you would rather assume they are lying when you could just ask them about why they feel they are introverted and gain a new perspective on this.
It’s naïve to automatically assume you know how someone acts based on short spurts of encountering them. I am both. Actually my anxiety has made me become more of a introvert than ever before. I am someone who can strike up conversations with strangers, but that’s also because I mentally cannot handle silence. If I’m talking to someone and ask them how their day was and they ask mine, there’s a 15 second gap of silence between the next topic I cannot handle that so I end up asking how was your day twice. Then I realize I sound stupid and say shit I mean anything new going on? I have to mentally prepare myself in my car for 15 minutes before walking in to get a latte because I feel so anxious having conversations with people and they’re meaningless soul sucking and draining. People constantly ask me how I’m so happy all the time and have such crazy energy and I’m just like I don’t know I guess it’s just me (meanwhile I want to run in the opposite direction as fast as I can) if I see someone I would consider an introvert acting like an extrovert I wouldn’t want to scream at them and be like “bitch you don’t talk that much sit the fuck down” kinda like you want to scream “bitch you talk way too much to be an introvert sit the fuck down”
It’s because they don’t understand what it really is. They think shy or social anxiety is introversion and a lot of people have that. I think they just want a label for themselves so someone will get them. It’s frustrating isn’t it.
I used to be i. Think i just reached new level of not giving a fuck tho lol appearance was huge now idc if i look like a hobo who hasn't slept in 20 days.
It's not gatekeeping. It's about honesty really.
My former flatmate is one of those people always calling herself introvert and she literally CANNOT be by herself for more than 15 minutes.
During lockdown it was a nightmare living with her (and it was just two first weeks of it before I managed to go back to my parents) She couldn't fill all her social needs with just online contact so she was on my back *constantly*. I mean like she would knock on the bathroom door trying to make a small talk as I was sitting on the toilet MULTIPLE TIMES. She literally could not comprehend that when I ask for space I mean it for a little longer than 20 minutes and she would literally ask me why I hate her or why I'm mad at her after that time.
And yes... she very much called herself an introvert (and still does)... in my face... after she cried she will go insane spending 2 days alone...
I refuse to believe she really thinks she's an introvert (she knows the meaning very well, just choosing to ignore it) she just thinks the label of introvert makes her "not like other girls" and she's so quirky and cool because of it. 💀
i think you should rethink your definition of introvert. an introvert is someone that thrives and recharges by being alone. as an introvert i still have friends and i do go out to parties, being introverted doesn’t mean you’re antisocial, it literally just means normally you prefer to be alone and your battery dies out quickly when you’re with people for too long, doesn’t mean you straight up can’t be around people. i love the interactions i have with my friends and all but they understand i will go ghost on them for periods of time because i need to regain my social battery and overall i enjoy doing these alone and i worship my alone time over anything else. i think you might want to look into the antisocial sub reddit bc no offense, that’s what this post is giving
Introversion and extraversion are on a spectrum. Rarely is somebody fully introverted. If they were they would probably be in a mental hospital. Just because somebody isn't as introverted as you doesn't mean that they still don't weigh more on the introverted end of the spectrum.
I spend the vast majority of time alone. But every once in awhile when I have the energy and I charge my batteries, I'll go to a party or go out dancing. And because I'm not shy, I can be a total social butterfly. I've had people accuse me of lying about being an introvert simply because they only see a absolute small segment of my time.
Unless you're with these people all the time, how do you know that they're always at parties and always doing stuff? What percentage of introversion qualifies to you as being truly introverted, and how do you really measure that?
Along with this, I am in college and consider myself and introvert but I go to parties regularly. The difference is I need at least a day or more to socially recover from said party. Whereas my friends can go to a party and be excited and willing to go to a different party soon after. I'm sure some people don't consider me an introvert or introverted, but by definition I am. Also I can't be bothered enough to care if someone calls themselves an introvert or an extrovert tbh
You need to recharge so you're obviously introverted. But it really saddens me that people don't see how "I'm an introvert" became another "I'm not like other girls/boys" token. I think it's the reason why more introverted people are still labeled as antisocial because if you have someone who cannot stand being alone for more than two minutes calling themselves introvert then someone who's more comfortable being alone will always look like a social reject by comparison.
And it might just be that It's very cringey for me to watch someone lie when it's very obvious and it's surprising people don't share that feeling of secondhand embarrassment when they see it themselves 💀
Introversion doesn't mean shy or antisocial though, its more of a "I tend to relax by being alone or rather I can't socialize for too long without getting drained". You can still be shy and quiet yet be extroverted. You can still be an introvert but be an outgoing person. I honestly don't know nor if I care whether I'm an introvert or not. But, I do value alone time and can handle being isolated for a long period bur I also can be outgoing. I understand being a bit bugged by ppl not getting the definition but honestly, you sound lowkey pretentious and just basically trying to fit in the mold of introvert too hard.
I agree. I have a social battery and even with my closest friends, I get drained after a few hours. I can go out two or three times in a row before I need a day to recuperate. My husband even factors this in with our weekly and weekend plans.
If we go out on a Friday and Saturday, we probably won't go anywhere Sunday. Some weeks are really busy for me, but in the end, I am ok with solitude and being home. I had no problems during the pandemic shutdown, meanwhile my husband went stir crazy.
I hate crowds and meeting strangers, but I power through it if it's worth the effort, like a concert, or something work related.
I fully agree with this. This is me to a T. I used to go out a lot and wonder why I had such bad anxiety. I would struggle to get out of bed some days. Finally I figured out that I needed to recharge in different ways. I can be around people - and like it sometimes - but really like to be by myself. I am good at talking to people and being in a group but it isn’t my preference.
I find your perception of it to be very interesting, I would have to say that I politely disagree, you can definitely be social and be an introvert, I'm not saying you can't. I'm just saying that an introvert usually doesn't have a large amount of friends that they go out with multiple times a week
I am an introvert and have a large group of friends, socialize regularly. I just need those individual activities and time to recharge, and feel fully me again. You’ve over simplified the definition.
I’m a chatty introvert who liked being in relationships when I was younger. I’m very much an introvert though. Sometimes we just get a snapshot of someone 🤷🏻♀️
I don’t usually care about what others call themselves. This post makes me feel very uncomfortable.
Especially someone calls themselves very intelligent 😂🙈
Empathy for what? OP did not mention anything happening to them, like someone excluding them or talking badly about them for being an introvert. They are just judgmental of people who are not exactly like them
I only did that to add contacts, because most introverts are considered to be intelligent people, and I know that's just a stereotype, but that's why a lot of the times they refer to themselves as introverts. I wasn't trying to flex my own ego, especially not to random people in the internet.
I mean I fit the description of people in your class but i’m definitely an introvert (or ambivert leaning introvert). I can party and make new friends but I don’t do either often and I much prefer having a few close friends rather than just knowing a lot of people.
What makes me an introvert is that at the end of most my days I need time alone. I’d say once or twice a week I need a day to myself where I just lay around and watch tv, or read, or do something alone. I need that alone time to recharge because even though socializing can be fun it definitely drains me.
A lot of my ex’s were extroverts and the difference between us was really obvious. They had a lot more friends than me (or at least people they talked to), loved talking to strangers, loved attention. I’m not like that lol, and it visibly bothered them sometimes. But I have pushed myself and grown enough as a person that I am able to be social and “fit in” more. I just do it different than an extrovert. Smaller groups, more intimate setting, not as many parties and always recharge time afterwards.
According to Merriam-Webster:
“introvert: a person whose personality is characterized by introversion : a typically reserved or quiet person who tends to be introspective and enjoys spending time alone…
NOTE: Introverts are typically more comfortable interacting with small groups of people rather than large groups (as at parties). The psychologist Carl Gustav Jung first introduced the terms introvert, introversion, extrovert, and extroversion in the early 1900s to describe personality types that focus a person's energy on either the inner or outer world. “
Lots of extroverts out there think they’re introverted because they enjoy some alone time. Everyone likes a certain amount of alone time, it’s human. Being introverted is different than just enjoying being alone. They enjoy solitude, and
spend more time focused on their internal reflection. Jung’s theory focused more on the person’s perspective, where introverts are more subjective and extroverts objective.
Your post should probably go on the unpopular opinion sub as many believe themselves to be introverted and they aren’t.
It’s about how u recharge your energy. Introverts take it from within themselves, extroverts take it from others.
Sometimes people mistake themselves or others because they see them partying or they are quiet, but it’s all about how you recharge your energy.
Introverts are not anti-social, and extroverts can get times where they need quiet time.
Also, there is no clear cut between both and there is a range. U could find an extreme introvert and an extreme extrovert. Those won’t be hard to miss. The ones in the middle of the range (ambiverts) are the most difficult.
I guess I don't really care too much about it, it's just a bit of an annoyance that I felt like sharing. People always claim to be things they aren't, it's just annoying after you hear plenty of extroverts for some reason claim something that they clearly are not. But to be honest it doesn't really hold much weight, it's just an annoyance. Am I not allowed to point this out?
But how do you know they are extroverts?
In university, I was very active in our student organisation meaning meetings 2-3 evenings a week most years, I went to parties at the university most Fridays and I'm a pretty decent public speaker. So many people didn't believe me, when I told them, I'm introverted.
What they didn't see:
* for the first time I fit in much better socially (nerdy type that was a bit of an outsider in primary and high school who went to an engineering school where everyone were a bit nerdy). So I enjoyed it so much, that it felt worth it to spend energy on.
* if a social activity is very structured, eg a meeting in the student organisation, or some of the get-to-know-each-other activities we had for new students where a lot of games were planned, I find it less exhausting, because I don't need to think too much about what to say or do next. So my social energy lasts longer than compared to random mixers/networking activities.
* on days I was not attending these activities, I would be at home recharging, but they didn't see that
* I was more or less exhausted for the 6 years I studied except the last months that were during covid lock downs. Which I loved btw if you don't think about how much it hurt people.
* now that I'm graduated, I scaled down quite a bit, because I couldn't keep going with so many activities anymore
So if you met me in university, you would probably can me a liar as well. But how do you know what goes on in my head and how tired I am?
Making the observation to yourself is one thing but it sort of seems like you care more than you should. Its not worth getting annoyed over. Try not to let it annoy you too much it’s a waste of headspace.
I don't go to parties and I don't have a very large friend group, I am being dead honest in my post, and I and simply calling them out without them knowing.
I am an introvert. I don't mind being alone and being around people drains my energy. Being an introvert doesn't mean you are shy, quiet, anti-social, awkward or lonely. It just means you find being around people exhausting.
I enjoy being around my friends and family up to a point, and then I need plenty of time by myself to recharge my batteries. When I was at university, I participated in class because I saw that as my job as a student to be active in my own learning. I socialized at multiple parties because learning how to network is an important skill I knew I would need in my job. And because it made my friends and my partner happy to see me there. But it was exhausting and I did hide out in the library plenty of times to escape when I needed a recharge.
So it is possible to a popular person and be an introvert. It's not a mutually exclusive thing.
I'm upbeat with the right crowd, maybe some of them are with the right ones, there are a ton of different introvert people out there,not all are cut with the same pattern, trying to gate keep, at the end of the day imo introvert means needs alone time to recharge, some need a lot of time to themselves, some need little, at the end of the day you just see a snipped of their lives, and not what they do when they are home or at dorms.
Your first mistake is caring so much about what others are doing or saying. As people mature, they’ll grow…or they won’t. Just do you and try not to let things like this hijack your peace 🤙
Introversion isn’t just about shyness. Part of being introverted is needing ample time to yourself to recharge socially, as opposed to being energized by being around other people. I feel like an introvert *can* enjoy social gatherings as much as anyone else—but that doesn’t mean they don’t require time away from others to reenergize.
An introvert is someone who organise a party at home once in years (kind of forced by their friend) and end up the happiest in the world when all of the participant cancel their attendance...
I have learned to be very good at people. However, people are exhausting, and I would say a lot more people count me as a friend than I count as my friends. I don't dislike them. I just generally feel neutral and have only a few people that either don't drain me or are worth spending time with anyway.
My roommate, who I am quite fond of, is leaving tomorrow for 4 months, and people keep asking if I will be lonely l. No, I will not. I will revel in my solitude.
You really need to take some time to better understand introversion. I’m really good at being sociable and with people but it’s so draining and I need quiet time to recharge.
Because dumb ass kids don't know what they're talking about. How many of them do you think actually even googled what an introvert is? Monkey see, monkey do. And it's all the rage now to be the shy little introvert that nobody talks to. It's the same in elementary, middle, highschool, college, amd you'll even find it in your future workspace. Those type of people are really annoying and muddy the waters and what an actual introvert is, therefore stripping away help and attention away from them. But that's how you treat something with the intent to cure. Being intro or extroverted isn't a illness, 9r disease. It's nothing like depression, anxiety, it's a way of living. Nothing to "cure". The more you shout at them "ummm, actually youre not this I am" like you're a fucking doctor. Stop gatekeeping being an introvert, your attitude towards it does nothing but harm the actual ones thrown into that mix against their will. Just relax, who fucking cares what they call themselves? They can say they're a giant purple banana with walrus feet for all I care, how does that effect you in anyway? You need to be using your brainpower on more constructive things, not the judgment of others from a distance.
TL;DR kids are dumb, don't obsess over it. Let them label themselves as whatever they fucking want. Focus on graduating so you move on. You're gaslighting yourself, and justifying it with your own personal beliefs and opinions. Don't be so hateful to strangers, instead love yourself. They're temporary anyways
I am able to go to social gatherings but not too long at a time. Maybe a few hours and I need to get out of there to recharge my battery. During the social gatherings I pick a spot by myself and interact with people on a one on one basis. I can't communicate with multiple people very well. Too much noise.
I can socialize pretty well with coworkers all day, but I'm glad to leave them there. People have tried to make plans with me outside of work but I always made excuses because I knew they would want to go to a place like Buffalo Wild Wings, which is crowded and noisy and I wouldn't be able to handle it.
Weekends are me and my wife driving around. I'm with her in the car so I can ignore all the people in their cars on the road. I never look at the drivers and passengers. We can spend long stretches not saying anything to each other, just enjoying the ride. She likes to shop, though, and I'm on my phone because I hate crowds and shopping. After a few stores she and I are drained and want to go home midway through the day. After we're home we don't go back out. After we're settled in, she goes on her phone and I play videogames until bedtime.
This is how I imagine introversion is. Not antisocial, you enjoy going to do things, but crowds and interactions drain you after so long. Unlike extroversion where people can't get enough of that stuff. Extremely introverted people would be zero interactions or enough to function and get things done, and spending most of not all time at home. This would be unhealthy as you need social and life skills in order to have a good quality of life.
Because introversion isn’t actually well understood by people who haven’t bothered to research it (most people) and it’s used with a negative connotation by people with big mouths who also don’t understand it.
People in general are just confused. I'm in my forties and recently one of my longtime friends -- and everyone who knows her agrees she is NOT an introvert -- called herself an introvert "just like \_\_\_" and the people she said that to just laughed because it was so obviously not true. But what are you going to do? Argue with her about her perceptions of her self?
People see something they identify with in others that they would like to be true of themself and want to be seen that way. But it's a fool's errand to try and get people to understand what an introvert truly is. Definitions have lost all meaning.
I would say be patient people if you can. And if not, there's a million-and-one books to read, some of which haven't been defiled by cinema.
Attention seeking, new trend, wanna be the ‘cool’ person. Can be anything.
Let them be, they’re only deceiving themselves in the end.
Honestly, its best not to pay to much attention to people in general. I personally find most people fake anyway or certainly drama/ attention seekers.
Rather be with a good book, game or movie and mind my own business. Or well, you know university crap to keep my mind busy.
This is the same thing as people diagnosing themself with OCD, Anxiety etc. What happens is that they read the definition and 'kinda relate' to a few symptoms or traits and so think they have said disorder or personality type.
You ain’t lying.. I already left one online introvert group cuz of it being hijacked by uneducated people feeling lonely, calling themselves introverts. It’s probably a lot worse in college.. stay strong.
Some people want to jump on the band wagon! I participated a lot in college and knew a lot of people despite being introverts. I also have ADHD so I can talk a lot. But I prefer to be alone and go shopping alone and hiking and most things alone. Some of us are adaptable when we have to be, but those you speak of are pretenders! I only hung out with 1 other person or alone during my college life.
It's painful not to have anyone who get it and on the same wavelength.
People here is like saying you're wrong, but actually both you are correct, and they too.
It's just frustrating to see other people saying they're introvert, but they still attend all the events chit-chatting happily. I dont have anything against them, but like you, i also couldn't believe that they're introverted, i was shocked. Clearly they're on different wavelengths, because they can tolerate the extroversion much more than i am. I wanted to find people on my wavelength too, but i couldn't find much because the company keep hiring people who are extroverted or can talk convincingly.
My partner is becoming even more introverted than i am, because the environment just don't suit him. I feel sad and hope people can befriend him too. He's clearly not happy and depressed, but there's not much i can do. Please pray for his happiness and success too. Thank you for your kind prayers.
Man, I feel you! I am not of those types. But I tried to come out of my comfort zone for a few months. But got shit-faced at the end and came to the original place.
By bad luck those few months were my first months in my college. Because of that everyone thinks I am with people, they call me to parties, they call me to their group walks and things... But they won't. I always regret those days because I was alone even when I put in the effort and the same now. I don't know why I said these words... They just came out...
May be because I too felt that feeling but trust me!
That place is not good! They were just acting like they are cool but they are not! The second they divide, they bitch among themselves! Better we keep our peace!
Yup, this thread is full of wannabe introverts. Call yourself what you want but some of you are not introverts just because you say I like my alone time but love to party and socialize too. LOL
Real introverts DONT like to party or socialize… we HAVE to…
Who’s forcing?
Pressures of wait for it… Life.
You think Im a traumatized teenager?
Im 62
Work, family and society makes you socialize and go out when you really dont want to… but you fuckin’ do go out to make your family and friends happy otherwise you’re anti social.
Problem is no one outside groups like this seem to know what introversion is, its just a new flavor for the day so people can use it for validation.
Take a poll on how many people can accurately describe an introvert without adding shy, anti social or stuck up in the description.
“Im an introvert, feel sorry for me” just doesnt look good on the wannabes.
For me, I do see myself as an introvert. Am I socially awkward? Kind of. I’m taking online classes again after failing to land a job in months but I have no trouble introducing or chatting on my classmates online, I’ve even met some outside during school activities (seminars and enrollment), yet I feel most comfortable at home. Another factor is that I feel a great sense of distance to my old classmates who now have careers (and I don’t exactly drink nor smoke)
Totally get where you're coming from. Honestly I can literally (yes I do mean literally) go days without human interaction. Sure I get lonely sometimes, but at the end of the day I always feel relieved to be alone. I'm a teacher, and outside of the working hours, I find solace and respite in my own world.
As for "fake" introverts, yeah I hate it. Just like everyone who claims to be "nerdy and quirky" yet none of the things they do would fall in that category. All the people who do that are clearly trying to positively impact their social standing. In a way, it's a bit like clout chasing.
I remember High School where for some god awful reason Midwest white girls decided to dye their hair black and get a cheeto dust tan because they watched The Jersey Shore... "Stephanie, you've never been outside of Illinois, you're not from Jersey." Yet somehow that was socially acceptable because it was "mainstream" and commercialized.
Some people really have an Introverted personality, I'm sure many in the LGBTQ+ Community would not enjoy a Cis Straight person masquerading for attention.
Well, I thought I was kind of introvert until the pandemic made me realize I actually love socializing with people. That doesn't mean I can't get socially exhausted, and I love quiet nights home by myself as well. So, it isn't easy to always have an accurate understanding of how to classify oneself.
When I was younger, I enjoyed and needed time alone most of the day to later function in social settings, which I could enjoy, but rarely. But these past 2 years, I've been so happy with social activity and attention that I don't want to stop. I spend more time outside than in. I'm either at work, playing in a band, playing DnD, or hanging out with friends. Now I want to spend as little time alone as I possibly can. I can enjoy time alone, but I feel lonely quickly.
So somehow having experienced introversion and extroversion, (Don't know how common that is) I believe the key difference is that I need more of one thing to enjoy the other, but it doesn't mean I can't enjoy both. I went to (and enjoyed) parties on occasion in my introverted phase, I voluntarily initiated and went on dates with people, and things like that. And even if I love having an active social life today, I can still enjoy time alone for a while, but I start to get restless, lonely, and anxious after a little while. Thank god I wasn't like this when covid was at its biggest.
Also, introverts can also have friend groups, especially if the friend group seems to come to them, and not the other way around. I've heard of plenty of introverts who get pestered to hang out with people. And on occasion they might go, and they can enjoy it as well.
I would respectfully disagree. Socialising drains me, even with the right people and I don’t generally like humans as a whole but I do enjoy socialising with the correct people.
I consider myself the most introverted person i know, I'm drained ALL THE TIME if birthday party and a lunch date happen to be in the same month. It's too much. But i also know that opportunities and stories will pass me by if i dont go out and participate, so I force myself to constantly roll high on charisma. Life is a mixed bag of wanting to sew clothes while watching the same four movies and making myself be available for inspiration.
All to say: i really wonder if a ton of introverts are doing the same. Balanced between dreading the day, humming softly to themselves, and trying to live vibrantly.
I always tell ppl if I enjoy your presence over my own solitude you’re lucky. I’m not a loner I just like being alone. I don’t enjoy public setting and crowded rooms. I have 3 friends max. The world is draining. The sounds. The ppl. It’s all too much.
This is typical of the age we live in. Everyone understands exactly what you are saying, yet many pretend they don't and nit pick you on details. They change the meaning of words depending on how convenient it is to their argument, until words no longer have any meaning understood widely between persons.
I get exactly what you were saying. And yeah, there's definitely no comparing the kind of person you described with our understanding of introversion. It's as though those people can turn their introversion on and off, and that just doesn't square with our experiences as introverts.
So yeah, I totally get it.
Surely there's levels. Like the whole bipolar thing. Ur happy or sad. That describes everyone. It's the extremes that separate. I am outgoing (bc it's expected), I make people around me laugh (so they don't see my sadness), I have an average amount of relationships (2 or 3 friends, 1 gf and a side chick). If u were 2 sit all 4 or 5 of those people down and asked them about me ud get 4 or 5 different answers...all probably true. I let them kno wut i think they'd want 2 kno so that when they do wutever 4 me it seems like their idea and taylor made. Such good friends. I say I am introverted bc nobody really knows me, my thoughts, wut...if anything, would make me happy or fuck happy, less miserable. A prison psychiatrist told me once my problem is I cant take 5 min of peace so I create chaos (chaos being smoking a cigarette, drinking a cup of coffee, work out, gamble, fight, anything but sitting n my feelings like "oh, this is nice") He's right, but labeling or admitting that there's a problem isn't quite the same as solving it, now is it. Anyway, I may not b the blacked out emo or goth kid all growed up but I definitely keep my cards close 2 the vest, I don't volunteer info, I rarely discuss how I actually feel. It's like everybody got a manual on how to live life when they were born and I didn't get 1. Add 2 that, u kno those ball brick breaker games on ur phone. Under my skin is that fuckin ball pinging off everything fast as fuck. I'm the ball. Just nerves, anxiety, confusion, and a general wtf is goin on feeling where everyone else seems whole. Their ball is the shape of their body. I don't think I'm better or worse than anyone but I do kno 100% that I am different. Maybe I'm a fake introvert 2 u, maybe is I mislabeled myself but most importantly maybe it's none of ur fuckin business wut I am till I tell u directly and when I started focusing on me and my life instead of others wut they got goin on my shitz got exponentially better.
I would say that I am definitely an introvert for the most part-- always have been, have few close friends and prefer to spend time alone over other people. That's not to say the close people in my life that I don't enjoy their company and can talk for hours with the likes of my mom, dad, best friend and husband (for example). But going to parties or big social events tend to drain me for the most part and most often, would rather take a walk by myself.
Been an introvert my whole life, can't relate tho. Where I'm from no one calls themselves introverts. I know a few introverts by nature, who act extraverted (myself including but not successfully). I'd like to successfully trick people into believing I'm an extrovert. I'm a shity closet introvert and I'm not fooling anyone
I don't know if I qualify as an actual introvert but I get agitated when I have to go outside and converse with people. Like the wife sends me out to walk out Yorkie, Griffin and I hate it. People always walking up and wanting to see him and talk to me. Of course Griffin eats up the attention but I'm just standing there anxious like PLEASE MOVE ON. lol. Or a lot of the time we'll walk Griffin but also walk this old woman's older dog Dixie for her all the time. We'll get back to drop Dixie off and the wife will talk with her for like an HOUR and I'm just DIEING to go home. It unfortunately seems to effecting our relationship too. It's not fun. And it's not something to be proud of. It's probably a mixture of depression and self loathing in there too tbh. Lol
I like to be alone in the quiet or with music i noticed more chaotic it is around me the less sound i want when im free from the chaos.
However if i make you my person that I can enjoy being near. I dont mind sharing my space with. Feel lucky. I dont like many people and usually they stress me out. Occasionally if im in the right energy i can seem extroverted but its a rare occurrence.
Introversion is related to what socializing does to you. Extroverts are energized being around others. Introverts are drained. This does not mean you do not enjoy people, have relationships and do things.
I heard from Dr huberman in a clip, even the quiet people in groups may be extroverted it depends on your energy levels, do you gain energy from the experience
Yes but let's be honest "introvert" became such a buzz word it's just thrown around everywhere by people who don't know the meaning. It's not about introverts being lonely or not enjoying people it's about people who you clearly see are CONSTANTLY CHOOSING to be surrounded by people and interact with them almost 24/7 calling themselves introverts because they stayed in for one evening and watched netflix. It just became another token of "not like other girls/boys" and it's slowly losing it's meaning and turning into aesthetic (might I add it's mostly false very romanticised aesthetic pushed by people who are very extroverted and just like to paint themselves as introverted because they think it's cooler to "be a minority" or whatever).
Do you consider yourself shy as well as introverted? When I was younger I was both…shy because I would get anxious speaking with people I didn’t know or in a classroom setting, and introverted because interacting with people was draining. I’ve gotten over my shyness, but am still super introverted. So while I agree, the person speaking up in class all the time and going to tons of parties is probably full of shit, some of the others may be introverts but are just able to interact with others much better than I ever did.
I wish I could get over my shyness..I’m in my 30’s now and it hasn’t gotten any easier to talk to ppl.
[удалено]
But how can you tell who is introverted and who is not? Because you see people having a lot of fun and that must mean they are extroverted? I guess you would rather assume they are lying when you could just ask them about why they feel they are introverted and gain a new perspective on this.
It’s naïve to automatically assume you know how someone acts based on short spurts of encountering them. I am both. Actually my anxiety has made me become more of a introvert than ever before. I am someone who can strike up conversations with strangers, but that’s also because I mentally cannot handle silence. If I’m talking to someone and ask them how their day was and they ask mine, there’s a 15 second gap of silence between the next topic I cannot handle that so I end up asking how was your day twice. Then I realize I sound stupid and say shit I mean anything new going on? I have to mentally prepare myself in my car for 15 minutes before walking in to get a latte because I feel so anxious having conversations with people and they’re meaningless soul sucking and draining. People constantly ask me how I’m so happy all the time and have such crazy energy and I’m just like I don’t know I guess it’s just me (meanwhile I want to run in the opposite direction as fast as I can) if I see someone I would consider an introvert acting like an extrovert I wouldn’t want to scream at them and be like “bitch you don’t talk that much sit the fuck down” kinda like you want to scream “bitch you talk way too much to be an introvert sit the fuck down”
It’s because they don’t understand what it really is. They think shy or social anxiety is introversion and a lot of people have that. I think they just want a label for themselves so someone will get them. It’s frustrating isn’t it.
I used to be i. Think i just reached new level of not giving a fuck tho lol appearance was huge now idc if i look like a hobo who hasn't slept in 20 days.
Why are you trying to gatekeep introversion? Look up the definition.
It's not gatekeeping. It's about honesty really. My former flatmate is one of those people always calling herself introvert and she literally CANNOT be by herself for more than 15 minutes. During lockdown it was a nightmare living with her (and it was just two first weeks of it before I managed to go back to my parents) She couldn't fill all her social needs with just online contact so she was on my back *constantly*. I mean like she would knock on the bathroom door trying to make a small talk as I was sitting on the toilet MULTIPLE TIMES. She literally could not comprehend that when I ask for space I mean it for a little longer than 20 minutes and she would literally ask me why I hate her or why I'm mad at her after that time. And yes... she very much called herself an introvert (and still does)... in my face... after she cried she will go insane spending 2 days alone... I refuse to believe she really thinks she's an introvert (she knows the meaning very well, just choosing to ignore it) she just thinks the label of introvert makes her "not like other girls" and she's so quirky and cool because of it. 💀
i think you should rethink your definition of introvert. an introvert is someone that thrives and recharges by being alone. as an introvert i still have friends and i do go out to parties, being introverted doesn’t mean you’re antisocial, it literally just means normally you prefer to be alone and your battery dies out quickly when you’re with people for too long, doesn’t mean you straight up can’t be around people. i love the interactions i have with my friends and all but they understand i will go ghost on them for periods of time because i need to regain my social battery and overall i enjoy doing these alone and i worship my alone time over anything else. i think you might want to look into the antisocial sub reddit bc no offense, that’s what this post is giving
Introversion and extraversion are on a spectrum. Rarely is somebody fully introverted. If they were they would probably be in a mental hospital. Just because somebody isn't as introverted as you doesn't mean that they still don't weigh more on the introverted end of the spectrum. I spend the vast majority of time alone. But every once in awhile when I have the energy and I charge my batteries, I'll go to a party or go out dancing. And because I'm not shy, I can be a total social butterfly. I've had people accuse me of lying about being an introvert simply because they only see a absolute small segment of my time. Unless you're with these people all the time, how do you know that they're always at parties and always doing stuff? What percentage of introversion qualifies to you as being truly introverted, and how do you really measure that?
Along with this, I am in college and consider myself and introvert but I go to parties regularly. The difference is I need at least a day or more to socially recover from said party. Whereas my friends can go to a party and be excited and willing to go to a different party soon after. I'm sure some people don't consider me an introvert or introverted, but by definition I am. Also I can't be bothered enough to care if someone calls themselves an introvert or an extrovert tbh
You need to recharge so you're obviously introverted. But it really saddens me that people don't see how "I'm an introvert" became another "I'm not like other girls/boys" token. I think it's the reason why more introverted people are still labeled as antisocial because if you have someone who cannot stand being alone for more than two minutes calling themselves introvert then someone who's more comfortable being alone will always look like a social reject by comparison. And it might just be that It's very cringey for me to watch someone lie when it's very obvious and it's surprising people don't share that feeling of secondhand embarrassment when they see it themselves 💀
Introversion doesn't mean shy or antisocial though, its more of a "I tend to relax by being alone or rather I can't socialize for too long without getting drained". You can still be shy and quiet yet be extroverted. You can still be an introvert but be an outgoing person. I honestly don't know nor if I care whether I'm an introvert or not. But, I do value alone time and can handle being isolated for a long period bur I also can be outgoing. I understand being a bit bugged by ppl not getting the definition but honestly, you sound lowkey pretentious and just basically trying to fit in the mold of introvert too hard.
I agree. I have a social battery and even with my closest friends, I get drained after a few hours. I can go out two or three times in a row before I need a day to recuperate. My husband even factors this in with our weekly and weekend plans. If we go out on a Friday and Saturday, we probably won't go anywhere Sunday. Some weeks are really busy for me, but in the end, I am ok with solitude and being home. I had no problems during the pandemic shutdown, meanwhile my husband went stir crazy. I hate crowds and meeting strangers, but I power through it if it's worth the effort, like a concert, or something work related.
I fully agree with this. This is me to a T. I used to go out a lot and wonder why I had such bad anxiety. I would struggle to get out of bed some days. Finally I figured out that I needed to recharge in different ways. I can be around people - and like it sometimes - but really like to be by myself. I am good at talking to people and being in a group but it isn’t my preference.
I find your perception of it to be very interesting, I would have to say that I politely disagree, you can definitely be social and be an introvert, I'm not saying you can't. I'm just saying that an introvert usually doesn't have a large amount of friends that they go out with multiple times a week
I think there is a gradient of introversion. It's not black and white.
I am an introvert and have a large group of friends, socialize regularly. I just need those individual activities and time to recharge, and feel fully me again. You’ve over simplified the definition.
I’m a chatty introvert who liked being in relationships when I was younger. I’m very much an introvert though. Sometimes we just get a snapshot of someone 🤷🏻♀️
Yeah, there’s only one kind of introvert and you get to make the rules on who fits.
Bro thinks being solitary makes him the only person qualified to be an introvert
I think they're solitary because they act like this.
I don’t usually care about what others call themselves. This post makes me feel very uncomfortable. Especially someone calls themselves very intelligent 😂🙈
Please don't bash fellow introvert in need of validation. I feel sad seeing all the comments, nobody seem to see beyond the text & give empathy
Empathy for what? OP did not mention anything happening to them, like someone excluding them or talking badly about them for being an introvert. They are just judgmental of people who are not exactly like them
I am not bashing. I never did. I leave you all here to bash each other eh? Haha 😂😂😂 have fun
You mean like OP bashed every introvert who has a social life? Do you speak irony?
I only did that to add contacts, because most introverts are considered to be intelligent people, and I know that's just a stereotype, but that's why a lot of the times they refer to themselves as introverts. I wasn't trying to flex my own ego, especially not to random people in the internet.
Lol really? I never heard of that one. Okay, I am very introverted and I am pretty dumb .. I must be an exception. 😂😂😂
*context
I mean I fit the description of people in your class but i’m definitely an introvert (or ambivert leaning introvert). I can party and make new friends but I don’t do either often and I much prefer having a few close friends rather than just knowing a lot of people. What makes me an introvert is that at the end of most my days I need time alone. I’d say once or twice a week I need a day to myself where I just lay around and watch tv, or read, or do something alone. I need that alone time to recharge because even though socializing can be fun it definitely drains me. A lot of my ex’s were extroverts and the difference between us was really obvious. They had a lot more friends than me (or at least people they talked to), loved talking to strangers, loved attention. I’m not like that lol, and it visibly bothered them sometimes. But I have pushed myself and grown enough as a person that I am able to be social and “fit in” more. I just do it different than an extrovert. Smaller groups, more intimate setting, not as many parties and always recharge time afterwards.
According to Merriam-Webster: “introvert: a person whose personality is characterized by introversion : a typically reserved or quiet person who tends to be introspective and enjoys spending time alone… NOTE: Introverts are typically more comfortable interacting with small groups of people rather than large groups (as at parties). The psychologist Carl Gustav Jung first introduced the terms introvert, introversion, extrovert, and extroversion in the early 1900s to describe personality types that focus a person's energy on either the inner or outer world. “ Lots of extroverts out there think they’re introverted because they enjoy some alone time. Everyone likes a certain amount of alone time, it’s human. Being introverted is different than just enjoying being alone. They enjoy solitude, and spend more time focused on their internal reflection. Jung’s theory focused more on the person’s perspective, where introverts are more subjective and extroverts objective. Your post should probably go on the unpopular opinion sub as many believe themselves to be introverted and they aren’t.
It’s about how u recharge your energy. Introverts take it from within themselves, extroverts take it from others. Sometimes people mistake themselves or others because they see them partying or they are quiet, but it’s all about how you recharge your energy. Introverts are not anti-social, and extroverts can get times where they need quiet time. Also, there is no clear cut between both and there is a range. U could find an extreme introvert and an extreme extrovert. Those won’t be hard to miss. The ones in the middle of the range (ambiverts) are the most difficult.
Why do you care who is an introvert and who’s not? How does this affect your day to day life I’m curious?
I guess I don't really care too much about it, it's just a bit of an annoyance that I felt like sharing. People always claim to be things they aren't, it's just annoying after you hear plenty of extroverts for some reason claim something that they clearly are not. But to be honest it doesn't really hold much weight, it's just an annoyance. Am I not allowed to point this out?
But how do you know they are extroverts? In university, I was very active in our student organisation meaning meetings 2-3 evenings a week most years, I went to parties at the university most Fridays and I'm a pretty decent public speaker. So many people didn't believe me, when I told them, I'm introverted. What they didn't see: * for the first time I fit in much better socially (nerdy type that was a bit of an outsider in primary and high school who went to an engineering school where everyone were a bit nerdy). So I enjoyed it so much, that it felt worth it to spend energy on. * if a social activity is very structured, eg a meeting in the student organisation, or some of the get-to-know-each-other activities we had for new students where a lot of games were planned, I find it less exhausting, because I don't need to think too much about what to say or do next. So my social energy lasts longer than compared to random mixers/networking activities. * on days I was not attending these activities, I would be at home recharging, but they didn't see that * I was more or less exhausted for the 6 years I studied except the last months that were during covid lock downs. Which I loved btw if you don't think about how much it hurt people. * now that I'm graduated, I scaled down quite a bit, because I couldn't keep going with so many activities anymore So if you met me in university, you would probably can me a liar as well. But how do you know what goes on in my head and how tired I am?
Making the observation to yourself is one thing but it sort of seems like you care more than you should. Its not worth getting annoyed over. Try not to let it annoy you too much it’s a waste of headspace.
We are irritated by the traits we see in others that remind us of the traits in ourselves which we don’t like.
I don't go to parties and I don't have a very large friend group, I am being dead honest in my post, and I and simply calling them out without them knowing.
I am an introvert. I don't mind being alone and being around people drains my energy. Being an introvert doesn't mean you are shy, quiet, anti-social, awkward or lonely. It just means you find being around people exhausting. I enjoy being around my friends and family up to a point, and then I need plenty of time by myself to recharge my batteries. When I was at university, I participated in class because I saw that as my job as a student to be active in my own learning. I socialized at multiple parties because learning how to network is an important skill I knew I would need in my job. And because it made my friends and my partner happy to see me there. But it was exhausting and I did hide out in the library plenty of times to escape when I needed a recharge. So it is possible to a popular person and be an introvert. It's not a mutually exclusive thing.
um, you can't tell someone else who they are or aren't sir. YTA here.
As some other replies are suggesting, seems you may not understand what introversion is and are confused with other things.
I'm upbeat with the right crowd, maybe some of them are with the right ones, there are a ton of different introvert people out there,not all are cut with the same pattern, trying to gate keep, at the end of the day imo introvert means needs alone time to recharge, some need a lot of time to themselves, some need little, at the end of the day you just see a snipped of their lives, and not what they do when they are home or at dorms.
Your first mistake is caring so much about what others are doing or saying. As people mature, they’ll grow…or they won’t. Just do you and try not to let things like this hijack your peace 🤙
Introversion isn’t just about shyness. Part of being introverted is needing ample time to yourself to recharge socially, as opposed to being energized by being around other people. I feel like an introvert *can* enjoy social gatherings as much as anyone else—but that doesn’t mean they don’t require time away from others to reenergize.
I’m introverted but I hate staying home. Do with that what you will.
An introvert is someone who organise a party at home once in years (kind of forced by their friend) and end up the happiest in the world when all of the participant cancel their attendance...
I have learned to be very good at people. However, people are exhausting, and I would say a lot more people count me as a friend than I count as my friends. I don't dislike them. I just generally feel neutral and have only a few people that either don't drain me or are worth spending time with anyway. My roommate, who I am quite fond of, is leaving tomorrow for 4 months, and people keep asking if I will be lonely l. No, I will not. I will revel in my solitude.
You really need to take some time to better understand introversion. I’m really good at being sociable and with people but it’s so draining and I need quiet time to recharge.
Because dumb ass kids don't know what they're talking about. How many of them do you think actually even googled what an introvert is? Monkey see, monkey do. And it's all the rage now to be the shy little introvert that nobody talks to. It's the same in elementary, middle, highschool, college, amd you'll even find it in your future workspace. Those type of people are really annoying and muddy the waters and what an actual introvert is, therefore stripping away help and attention away from them. But that's how you treat something with the intent to cure. Being intro or extroverted isn't a illness, 9r disease. It's nothing like depression, anxiety, it's a way of living. Nothing to "cure". The more you shout at them "ummm, actually youre not this I am" like you're a fucking doctor. Stop gatekeeping being an introvert, your attitude towards it does nothing but harm the actual ones thrown into that mix against their will. Just relax, who fucking cares what they call themselves? They can say they're a giant purple banana with walrus feet for all I care, how does that effect you in anyway? You need to be using your brainpower on more constructive things, not the judgment of others from a distance. TL;DR kids are dumb, don't obsess over it. Let them label themselves as whatever they fucking want. Focus on graduating so you move on. You're gaslighting yourself, and justifying it with your own personal beliefs and opinions. Don't be so hateful to strangers, instead love yourself. They're temporary anyways
I am able to go to social gatherings but not too long at a time. Maybe a few hours and I need to get out of there to recharge my battery. During the social gatherings I pick a spot by myself and interact with people on a one on one basis. I can't communicate with multiple people very well. Too much noise. I can socialize pretty well with coworkers all day, but I'm glad to leave them there. People have tried to make plans with me outside of work but I always made excuses because I knew they would want to go to a place like Buffalo Wild Wings, which is crowded and noisy and I wouldn't be able to handle it. Weekends are me and my wife driving around. I'm with her in the car so I can ignore all the people in their cars on the road. I never look at the drivers and passengers. We can spend long stretches not saying anything to each other, just enjoying the ride. She likes to shop, though, and I'm on my phone because I hate crowds and shopping. After a few stores she and I are drained and want to go home midway through the day. After we're home we don't go back out. After we're settled in, she goes on her phone and I play videogames until bedtime. This is how I imagine introversion is. Not antisocial, you enjoy going to do things, but crowds and interactions drain you after so long. Unlike extroversion where people can't get enough of that stuff. Extremely introverted people would be zero interactions or enough to function and get things done, and spending most of not all time at home. This would be unhealthy as you need social and life skills in order to have a good quality of life.
Because introversion isn’t actually well understood by people who haven’t bothered to research it (most people) and it’s used with a negative connotation by people with big mouths who also don’t understand it.
People in general are just confused. I'm in my forties and recently one of my longtime friends -- and everyone who knows her agrees she is NOT an introvert -- called herself an introvert "just like \_\_\_" and the people she said that to just laughed because it was so obviously not true. But what are you going to do? Argue with her about her perceptions of her self? People see something they identify with in others that they would like to be true of themself and want to be seen that way. But it's a fool's errand to try and get people to understand what an introvert truly is. Definitions have lost all meaning. I would say be patient people if you can. And if not, there's a million-and-one books to read, some of which haven't been defiled by cinema.
Attention seeking, new trend, wanna be the ‘cool’ person. Can be anything. Let them be, they’re only deceiving themselves in the end. Honestly, its best not to pay to much attention to people in general. I personally find most people fake anyway or certainly drama/ attention seekers. Rather be with a good book, game or movie and mind my own business. Or well, you know university crap to keep my mind busy.
This is the same thing as people diagnosing themself with OCD, Anxiety etc. What happens is that they read the definition and 'kinda relate' to a few symptoms or traits and so think they have said disorder or personality type.
You ain’t lying.. I already left one online introvert group cuz of it being hijacked by uneducated people feeling lonely, calling themselves introverts. It’s probably a lot worse in college.. stay strong.
Who knew being an introvert was cool?
Some people want to jump on the band wagon! I participated a lot in college and knew a lot of people despite being introverts. I also have ADHD so I can talk a lot. But I prefer to be alone and go shopping alone and hiking and most things alone. Some of us are adaptable when we have to be, but those you speak of are pretenders! I only hung out with 1 other person or alone during my college life.
It's painful not to have anyone who get it and on the same wavelength. People here is like saying you're wrong, but actually both you are correct, and they too. It's just frustrating to see other people saying they're introvert, but they still attend all the events chit-chatting happily. I dont have anything against them, but like you, i also couldn't believe that they're introverted, i was shocked. Clearly they're on different wavelengths, because they can tolerate the extroversion much more than i am. I wanted to find people on my wavelength too, but i couldn't find much because the company keep hiring people who are extroverted or can talk convincingly. My partner is becoming even more introverted than i am, because the environment just don't suit him. I feel sad and hope people can befriend him too. He's clearly not happy and depressed, but there's not much i can do. Please pray for his happiness and success too. Thank you for your kind prayers.
Extroverts as always ruining most rhings for us. But anyway, nothing changed. It's always been like that.
They don't understand what it means or they think it will get them out of work for some reason.
Man, I feel you! I am not of those types. But I tried to come out of my comfort zone for a few months. But got shit-faced at the end and came to the original place. By bad luck those few months were my first months in my college. Because of that everyone thinks I am with people, they call me to parties, they call me to their group walks and things... But they won't. I always regret those days because I was alone even when I put in the effort and the same now. I don't know why I said these words... They just came out... May be because I too felt that feeling but trust me! That place is not good! They were just acting like they are cool but they are not! The second they divide, they bitch among themselves! Better we keep our peace!
Yup, this thread is full of wannabe introverts. Call yourself what you want but some of you are not introverts just because you say I like my alone time but love to party and socialize too. LOL Real introverts DONT like to party or socialize… we HAVE to…
recognise dam nippy rhythm innate ask rich water one quicksand *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
That's called being anti-social. Completely different than introversion.
Who is forcing you to go for parties and socialise? Many angry and traumatised teens in this topic xd
Who’s forcing? Pressures of wait for it… Life. You think Im a traumatized teenager? Im 62 Work, family and society makes you socialize and go out when you really dont want to… but you fuckin’ do go out to make your family and friends happy otherwise you’re anti social. Problem is no one outside groups like this seem to know what introversion is, its just a new flavor for the day so people can use it for validation. Take a poll on how many people can accurately describe an introvert without adding shy, anti social or stuck up in the description. “Im an introvert, feel sorry for me” just doesnt look good on the wannabes.
and see the fake introverts flood in at the call of comeraderie in shyness, fucking underdog worshippers the lot of them.
For me, I do see myself as an introvert. Am I socially awkward? Kind of. I’m taking online classes again after failing to land a job in months but I have no trouble introducing or chatting on my classmates online, I’ve even met some outside during school activities (seminars and enrollment), yet I feel most comfortable at home. Another factor is that I feel a great sense of distance to my old classmates who now have careers (and I don’t exactly drink nor smoke)
Maybe they're ambiverts?
Totally get where you're coming from. Honestly I can literally (yes I do mean literally) go days without human interaction. Sure I get lonely sometimes, but at the end of the day I always feel relieved to be alone. I'm a teacher, and outside of the working hours, I find solace and respite in my own world. As for "fake" introverts, yeah I hate it. Just like everyone who claims to be "nerdy and quirky" yet none of the things they do would fall in that category. All the people who do that are clearly trying to positively impact their social standing. In a way, it's a bit like clout chasing. I remember High School where for some god awful reason Midwest white girls decided to dye their hair black and get a cheeto dust tan because they watched The Jersey Shore... "Stephanie, you've never been outside of Illinois, you're not from Jersey." Yet somehow that was socially acceptable because it was "mainstream" and commercialized. Some people really have an Introverted personality, I'm sure many in the LGBTQ+ Community would not enjoy a Cis Straight person masquerading for attention.
Well, I thought I was kind of introvert until the pandemic made me realize I actually love socializing with people. That doesn't mean I can't get socially exhausted, and I love quiet nights home by myself as well. So, it isn't easy to always have an accurate understanding of how to classify oneself.
When I was younger, I enjoyed and needed time alone most of the day to later function in social settings, which I could enjoy, but rarely. But these past 2 years, I've been so happy with social activity and attention that I don't want to stop. I spend more time outside than in. I'm either at work, playing in a band, playing DnD, or hanging out with friends. Now I want to spend as little time alone as I possibly can. I can enjoy time alone, but I feel lonely quickly. So somehow having experienced introversion and extroversion, (Don't know how common that is) I believe the key difference is that I need more of one thing to enjoy the other, but it doesn't mean I can't enjoy both. I went to (and enjoyed) parties on occasion in my introverted phase, I voluntarily initiated and went on dates with people, and things like that. And even if I love having an active social life today, I can still enjoy time alone for a while, but I start to get restless, lonely, and anxious after a little while. Thank god I wasn't like this when covid was at its biggest. Also, introverts can also have friend groups, especially if the friend group seems to come to them, and not the other way around. I've heard of plenty of introverts who get pestered to hang out with people. And on occasion they might go, and they can enjoy it as well.
I love my own space and time, away from everyone. However, I’m still quite sociable and dislike when it turns into loneliness.
Then I would say you are an extravert, or at the least- neither.
I would respectfully disagree. Socialising drains me, even with the right people and I don’t generally like humans as a whole but I do enjoy socialising with the correct people.
I’m extroverted but do none of that. I just feel rejuvenated after a social thingy, like if I’m alone for a long period of time I’ll have no energy
I consider myself the most introverted person i know, I'm drained ALL THE TIME if birthday party and a lunch date happen to be in the same month. It's too much. But i also know that opportunities and stories will pass me by if i dont go out and participate, so I force myself to constantly roll high on charisma. Life is a mixed bag of wanting to sew clothes while watching the same four movies and making myself be available for inspiration. All to say: i really wonder if a ton of introverts are doing the same. Balanced between dreading the day, humming softly to themselves, and trying to live vibrantly.
It’s a matter of degrees. You’re at the high end of the introvert spectrum and they’re at the low end
I always tell ppl if I enjoy your presence over my own solitude you’re lucky. I’m not a loner I just like being alone. I don’t enjoy public setting and crowded rooms. I have 3 friends max. The world is draining. The sounds. The ppl. It’s all too much.
trauma + shy + lot ego xd
This is typical of the age we live in. Everyone understands exactly what you are saying, yet many pretend they don't and nit pick you on details. They change the meaning of words depending on how convenient it is to their argument, until words no longer have any meaning understood widely between persons. I get exactly what you were saying. And yeah, there's definitely no comparing the kind of person you described with our understanding of introversion. It's as though those people can turn their introversion on and off, and that just doesn't square with our experiences as introverts. So yeah, I totally get it.
Surely there's levels. Like the whole bipolar thing. Ur happy or sad. That describes everyone. It's the extremes that separate. I am outgoing (bc it's expected), I make people around me laugh (so they don't see my sadness), I have an average amount of relationships (2 or 3 friends, 1 gf and a side chick). If u were 2 sit all 4 or 5 of those people down and asked them about me ud get 4 or 5 different answers...all probably true. I let them kno wut i think they'd want 2 kno so that when they do wutever 4 me it seems like their idea and taylor made. Such good friends. I say I am introverted bc nobody really knows me, my thoughts, wut...if anything, would make me happy or fuck happy, less miserable. A prison psychiatrist told me once my problem is I cant take 5 min of peace so I create chaos (chaos being smoking a cigarette, drinking a cup of coffee, work out, gamble, fight, anything but sitting n my feelings like "oh, this is nice") He's right, but labeling or admitting that there's a problem isn't quite the same as solving it, now is it. Anyway, I may not b the blacked out emo or goth kid all growed up but I definitely keep my cards close 2 the vest, I don't volunteer info, I rarely discuss how I actually feel. It's like everybody got a manual on how to live life when they were born and I didn't get 1. Add 2 that, u kno those ball brick breaker games on ur phone. Under my skin is that fuckin ball pinging off everything fast as fuck. I'm the ball. Just nerves, anxiety, confusion, and a general wtf is goin on feeling where everyone else seems whole. Their ball is the shape of their body. I don't think I'm better or worse than anyone but I do kno 100% that I am different. Maybe I'm a fake introvert 2 u, maybe is I mislabeled myself but most importantly maybe it's none of ur fuckin business wut I am till I tell u directly and when I started focusing on me and my life instead of others wut they got goin on my shitz got exponentially better.
It could be depression or anxiety. I feel like its a two stage test; does your energy drain when around people, do you like reading lol
I would say that I am definitely an introvert for the most part-- always have been, have few close friends and prefer to spend time alone over other people. That's not to say the close people in my life that I don't enjoy their company and can talk for hours with the likes of my mom, dad, best friend and husband (for example). But going to parties or big social events tend to drain me for the most part and most often, would rather take a walk by myself.
Been an introvert my whole life, can't relate tho. Where I'm from no one calls themselves introverts. I know a few introverts by nature, who act extraverted (myself including but not successfully). I'd like to successfully trick people into believing I'm an extrovert. I'm a shity closet introvert and I'm not fooling anyone
I don't know if I qualify as an actual introvert but I get agitated when I have to go outside and converse with people. Like the wife sends me out to walk out Yorkie, Griffin and I hate it. People always walking up and wanting to see him and talk to me. Of course Griffin eats up the attention but I'm just standing there anxious like PLEASE MOVE ON. lol. Or a lot of the time we'll walk Griffin but also walk this old woman's older dog Dixie for her all the time. We'll get back to drop Dixie off and the wife will talk with her for like an HOUR and I'm just DIEING to go home. It unfortunately seems to effecting our relationship too. It's not fun. And it's not something to be proud of. It's probably a mixture of depression and self loathing in there too tbh. Lol
I like to be alone in the quiet or with music i noticed more chaotic it is around me the less sound i want when im free from the chaos. However if i make you my person that I can enjoy being near. I dont mind sharing my space with. Feel lucky. I dont like many people and usually they stress me out. Occasionally if im in the right energy i can seem extroverted but its a rare occurrence.