it is not transgenderism, we are not an ideology, we have more or less a body issue, that needs to be fixed.
you confuse gender expression (and the stereotypes within it) with gender idenity. Our gender identity is not fittting to our bodys. And this is independent from our gender expression.
Our brains says we are this gender and our body says something different and social life also says something different. So we fix our bodys and/or our social lifes to life the gender our brain says. That has nothing to do with how we act or not act. That trans people often viewed as very stereotypical has more to do with that it easier to survive in the transphobic socity and also most medical services (espe. in the UK) want you to act stereotypical to allow you to transition.
Fellow UK person and probably trans girl here!
Even though we're taught that gender doesn't define us, it's still a thing (otherwise we wouldn't really need a word for it!). It's still a little social box into which people put us.
When people say "you're a man" (and act with you as if you are), that kind of applies a set of assumptions about the person, the way they want to appear both physically and in terms of actions. People like to apply this box based on what you were born with. The thing is, sometimes that's the wrong box.
Imagine you got a haircut that you hated, you thought it didn't reflect how you wanted people to look at you. You'd want to change it, because otherwise people are going to look at you wrong. Not necessarily bad, just in a way that doesn't reflect you.
Being trans (at least for me - nobody speaks on behalf of the entire community!) is like having been born with a bad haircut and then going to change it. The way people look at you and talk about you is just so much more reflective of who you are, it makes you feel better about yourself. It's a bit to do with knowing that people will see you how you want to be seen, and a bit to do with knowing that you aren't walking around with a bad haircut and feeling bad even when nobody is looking.
So yeah, gender doesn't define you! But society will try to, and expressing as the gender you know in your heart rather than the sex you're born as can be a way to say "this is my place in the world, this is where I'm at home, and people will perceive me as such instead of looking at me like something I'm not and judging me when I don't conform to that idea".
Of course, your appearance, labels, and actions don't have to conform to any gender stereotype! It's just that for a lot of trans people, it's more comfortable to express as their gender identity, and even uncomfortable to try to mold their appearance and behaviour to a stereotype that makes them miserable just because of how they were born and/or be judged and ridiculed if their appearance and actions misalign with their labels.
Perhaps some trans people do present in a way that aligns with traditional, western ideas of gender, but that doesn’t mean they present that way to reinforce sexist ideals about gender.
Trans men don’t go to the gym and dress masculine to uphold the idea that all men are strong and manly—they do it because it’s what makes them happy and comfortable in their identity.
There's a show called The Transatlantic Call In show. It is a live call in show on YouTube on The Line network that airs at 2pm CDT on Thursdays. It is hosted by trans people, some of the hosts are doctors, some are just trans people very well versed in the subject. Some from the UK, some from the US. I suggest you call in and speak to the hosts. Check it out and call in as long as you're real and not purposely trying to be rude, the hosts are extremely informed and patient.
The other comments on this post are good. Perhaps consider the inherent contradiction happening in your own presented logic.
You: "Your gender doesn't define you."
Trans Person: "Exactly, which is why I'm doing something else with it."
You: "...wait, not like *that*!"
So there's kind of two separate things going on.
The first is that even though we say that you can do whatever you want no matter your gender, we still have pink toys for girls and blue toys for boys. Gender roles do matter, we still get placed into them by others despite what we might believe about their accuracy. In other words, gender is fake but our culture keeps doing it regardless.
The second thing is that for many of us there's also the internal sense of our bodies. I just sort of feel way better in a female body than I ever did in a male one. I've been pondering why damn near every day for 7 years and I still couldn't tell you. But it's definitely my experience. No matter what label you want to call it, my body just feels less alien to me now that it has tits and hips.
it is not transgenderism, we are not an ideology, we have more or less a body issue, that needs to be fixed. you confuse gender expression (and the stereotypes within it) with gender idenity. Our gender identity is not fittting to our bodys. And this is independent from our gender expression. Our brains says we are this gender and our body says something different and social life also says something different. So we fix our bodys and/or our social lifes to life the gender our brain says. That has nothing to do with how we act or not act. That trans people often viewed as very stereotypical has more to do with that it easier to survive in the transphobic socity and also most medical services (espe. in the UK) want you to act stereotypical to allow you to transition.
Fellow UK person and probably trans girl here! Even though we're taught that gender doesn't define us, it's still a thing (otherwise we wouldn't really need a word for it!). It's still a little social box into which people put us. When people say "you're a man" (and act with you as if you are), that kind of applies a set of assumptions about the person, the way they want to appear both physically and in terms of actions. People like to apply this box based on what you were born with. The thing is, sometimes that's the wrong box. Imagine you got a haircut that you hated, you thought it didn't reflect how you wanted people to look at you. You'd want to change it, because otherwise people are going to look at you wrong. Not necessarily bad, just in a way that doesn't reflect you. Being trans (at least for me - nobody speaks on behalf of the entire community!) is like having been born with a bad haircut and then going to change it. The way people look at you and talk about you is just so much more reflective of who you are, it makes you feel better about yourself. It's a bit to do with knowing that people will see you how you want to be seen, and a bit to do with knowing that you aren't walking around with a bad haircut and feeling bad even when nobody is looking. So yeah, gender doesn't define you! But society will try to, and expressing as the gender you know in your heart rather than the sex you're born as can be a way to say "this is my place in the world, this is where I'm at home, and people will perceive me as such instead of looking at me like something I'm not and judging me when I don't conform to that idea". Of course, your appearance, labels, and actions don't have to conform to any gender stereotype! It's just that for a lot of trans people, it's more comfortable to express as their gender identity, and even uncomfortable to try to mold their appearance and behaviour to a stereotype that makes them miserable just because of how they were born and/or be judged and ridiculed if their appearance and actions misalign with their labels.
yes, abolish gender let's go but also, gender or no, I'm still gonna take big E
Perhaps some trans people do present in a way that aligns with traditional, western ideas of gender, but that doesn’t mean they present that way to reinforce sexist ideals about gender. Trans men don’t go to the gym and dress masculine to uphold the idea that all men are strong and manly—they do it because it’s what makes them happy and comfortable in their identity.
There's a show called The Transatlantic Call In show. It is a live call in show on YouTube on The Line network that airs at 2pm CDT on Thursdays. It is hosted by trans people, some of the hosts are doctors, some are just trans people very well versed in the subject. Some from the UK, some from the US. I suggest you call in and speak to the hosts. Check it out and call in as long as you're real and not purposely trying to be rude, the hosts are extremely informed and patient.
The other comments on this post are good. Perhaps consider the inherent contradiction happening in your own presented logic. You: "Your gender doesn't define you." Trans Person: "Exactly, which is why I'm doing something else with it." You: "...wait, not like *that*!"
So there's kind of two separate things going on. The first is that even though we say that you can do whatever you want no matter your gender, we still have pink toys for girls and blue toys for boys. Gender roles do matter, we still get placed into them by others despite what we might believe about their accuracy. In other words, gender is fake but our culture keeps doing it regardless. The second thing is that for many of us there's also the internal sense of our bodies. I just sort of feel way better in a female body than I ever did in a male one. I've been pondering why damn near every day for 7 years and I still couldn't tell you. But it's definitely my experience. No matter what label you want to call it, my body just feels less alien to me now that it has tits and hips.
1. They still don't 2. No