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Here's a link about trans and non-binary titles:
- https://genderqueeries.tumblr.com/titles
Here's a link about trans people in sports:
- https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/shades-of-gray-sex-gender-and-fairness-in-sport/
A link on FAQs and one on some basics about transgender people:
- https://transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people
- https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics
Some information on LGBT+ people:
- https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/quick-facts/lgbt-faqs/
Some basic terminology:
- https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms
Neopronouns:
- https://www.mypronouns.org/neopronouns
Biromantic Lesbians:
- [LGBTQ And All](https://www.lgbtqandall.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-biromantic/)
Bisexual Identities:
- https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/understanding-bisexuality
Differences between Bisexual and Pansexual:
- [Resource from WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/sex/pansexuality-what-it-means#:~:text=Pansexual%20vs.%20Bisexual,more%20commonly%20recognized.)
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Yeah, I’ve been to Germany dozens of times, and I absolutely love it. It is a hard pass for me right now. Do your research. We are visiting Amsterdam and Copenhagen next month as they both have places I should easily be able to find work. I’m not saying they are perfect, but when we sorted through all of the pros and cons, these two were pretty high up on our list.
Don’t discount South America. Folks in the USA have a tendency to think everything south of Texas is all just one big Mexico. It’s not much more European type attitudes, and beautiful.
Later this fall, their spring, we are looking at Uruguay.
Look the MOST important thing is to do your research.
Google Spartacus Gay Travel Index. It’s as good a place as any to start.
hell no, not with our current politics, have you heard about the giant right-shift in politics here? the fascists were the second largest party in the EU vote results for germany
Haha now it might be, depending on where you live. Don't come here, there are better options. The far right parties are having a field day here and i don't see that changing in the next 5 years.
Our government is also riddled with Israel apalogists even more so than the US. All around unpleasant currently.
The Netherlands as well. If you speak english, chances are you never really get the chance to learn dutch from tge locals because everyone just talks english to you.
I know someone who went to Spain for sex reassignment surgery because the wait lists are so long. So look into that if either of you need medical care.
I am not really certain of how dire ALL of the USA would get as many of the rulings would still be up to the individual states. Tennessee is a hell hole. When my wife and I drove cross country from Louisiana, we specifically avoided or didn't stop through states on or near the Mason-Dixon line. Go North, like New Jersey, Northern California, Minnesota, New York, or some other state that would essentially flip the bird to a rhetoric that infringed upon human rights. While yes it is scary and EVERYONE MUST VOTE BLUE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. Just remember that Trump didn't make good on any of his platforms from 2016. We still didn't get a wall, Hillary never got locked up, and so forth. Donate, vote, get your friends to vote, but stay strong and get your passport and move out of a Red State.
Unfortunately, the red states, being the poorest in the nation, are also the most affordable to live in. A job on the west coast that pays 100k/yr might sound good to someone living in the south, but those might as well be different currencies. It will not be enough for a small family with expected medical expenses to love comfortably on, especially if it's contract work.
Sometimes it is actually more affordable to move to a European country than to move to California, when the entire first year's expenses are taken into account.
And OP, I'm not sure if your state already rolled them out 100% but make sure your driver's licenses are the Real ID kind or whatever they're called, because not having that can prevent your movement - even travel - within the States.
When we moved, we calculated safest with lowest cost of living. But yeah Cali is extremely expensive. Moving states can be easier than moving countries in most cases. But I follow what you are saying and I do agree, but moving out of the country isn't the only option.
Oh I agree, and the enthusiastic Leslie Knope that baby-me was dies a little more each time I see and agree with posts like these. Ideally, no move should be necessary. Ideally, the government should work for the people instead of against them (and for scumbag special interests).
But the America I loved is not what we're left with now.
(Reagan couldn't be dead enough and the TP nuts should have choked on their [checks flask] definitely not tea.)
The Project 2025 thing is not a joke and the shitstorm in which we currently find ourselves has been carefully engineered. This is what happens when you elect m/billionaires who say they hate government (yet say nothing of power or its rich rewards).
I only tried to speak from my own experience. I've never wanted to live here, but we literally can't afford to move anywhere. We're essentially trapped because my husband has a good job. My family (mom, s-dad, sibs) packed up and moved to Ireland one day because he couldn't find any work in the States but he could there (and that's where he's from).
It's just baffling how different something that seems so basic - money - is from state to state here.
I wanted to add a little footnote here:
John Oliver covers this frequently on Last Week Tonight (episodes are free on YouTube), but there is a very scary red wave of fascism threatening many parts of Europe and South America. I'll see if I can find a montage or write-up or something.
Living right now is scary. It's exhausting. It eats through your hope and joy and replaces it with cynicism, fear, and distrust, just like what _they_ project onto the masses. It's even scarier for our Palestinian and Ukrainian siblings.
It's a terrible burden but sometimes I think there might be a reason we bear it, that maybe we must be PROUD (and LOUD about it) because we are the strong, the beautiful, the resilient.* That we are somehow MORE, and must share it.
We have never had a majority of anything, never had our own safe place or homeland.
But we Queer have always (since at least ancient Mesopotamia, as priests and priestesses of Inanna-Ishtar, a Goddess who chose to descend to the Underworld, and returned) been there, whether righteously front and center like Stonewall or marked and hiding among thousands of other unfairly persecuted people, as in the Holocaust. We have been at every point in human history, fighting for justice.
We remain. We persevere.
And we do it as brightly and colorfully as possible.
Maybe we are all 'rare birds', and every day a celebratory song.
Don't lose yours in the muck and mire of everyday existence.
Pride isn't just a day or a month, it's what's inside every one of us. Even those of us who haven't been lit up yet, those forced in the closet or who are trying to deny who they are, it's there, a candle just waiting to be lit.
.
.
.
🕯️
*A footnote for the footnote: I don't at all mean to justify our abuse or let our abusers off the hook. I'm simply trying to look at it from a different perspective, as I try to do for all of my tragedy and abuse. Sometimes it helps even me.
Edited to add: okay, maybe not such a little footnote, after all.
Sorry for all the words.
And while the Scottish parliament tried to push through some trans rights reform, unfortunately London put a stop to it. I have forgotten exactly what they were trying to do, just that they were heroes for trying and I'm ashamed of our government for the shit they're pulling regarding trans people.
So basically, Scotland are much more accepting than England (not sure about Wales or NI because I don't live there) but still have to be under British laws.
Not soon enough for the majority of Scots. We REALLY should have got one as a direct result of Brexit, but that's a whole different can of worms which has no relevance in this subreddit.
Well, here's hoping you get another crack at it soon. I can't imagine what it feels like to be tied to the anchor that's the UK right now. Probably like being a blue state in the US.
🏴🍻
Scotland is generally more accepting in general than the rest of the UK. Sadly at the moment we're tied to Westminster, but Westminster's block of the Gender Recognition Bill has been viewed by many as one of several clear violations of the 1707 Act of Union by the Westminster government which stated that Scottish and English law MUST be separate.
Hey there! If you can find a job in Canada, you may be able to move there pretty easily. When I was doing my paperwork for becoming a Canadian, the government worker was queer and she had the biggest coolest pride tattoo on display.
Wherever you plan on going, get your passports asap.
Do not simply move to Canada thinking it's better here. Trans women are under attack across canada due to our opposition party. I will not be able to leave the house if they come into power & follow through on election promises. I am ashamed of where I live & to call Canada home since Pierre Poiliebre took over the federal conservative party.
We are at war everywhere right now. The rise of populist far right reactionary parties is everywhere.
If I had to name a country, check out New Zeeland maybe you'll be safe running there.
From a US perspective, Canada is a much safer place to move to.
Is Canada perfect? Fuck no. But it's leaps and bounds better than the US regarding safety and cultural understanding for LGBT.
I've only been here for \~6 years though, so please correct me if I'm wrong. I moved to Canada from the US and I feel way, way safer. It's horrifying looking back.
Two things I'd point out, then I'll give my experience
1) Things are about to get real bad, real fast if the conservatives win in the next federal election. No trans women in public washrooms and sports is their day 1 legislation agenda right now. This is after the previous leader of the conservatives O'Toole said the party needs to embrace the LGBT community instead of fighting them, otherwise they won't win an election - the party then removed him for a faaaaar right swing, to Populist Pierre. Trans women will be denied their legal right to use their legal genders bathroom. How is that better?
2) Keep in mind things are very different from province to province. Sask & alberta both actively attack the trans community. Alberta has the highest rate of trans people in the country, and yet the highest rates of income disparity. With most trans people in Alberta indicating it's impossible to even work as a openly trans person. Go figure. In Alberta our nazi premier is preventing any child/teen from receiving any gender affirming care.
Heres just a "brief" summary of my experience as a trans woman in Canada:
-I work in Alberta for a non-government government agency (what a mouthful) and have faced open discrimination by my employer, managers, and the community I interact with - every, single, day. My employer goes out of their way, daily, to make my life a living hell. When consulting a lawyer, they told me it's not worth even pursuing anything against them unless I get fired. Which they've been trying to do ever since I came out. I resigned off a committee in protest & have to protect myself by recording every single incident. Human resources are not your friend, they are your enemy here. But hey, they put up a pride flag, alls forgiven right?
-The amount of hate I receive leaving the house in a fairly liberal city is insane. I have broken 8 bones in both hands fighting to survive. I have been assaulted: verbally, sexually, and physically. My home has been vandalized, I've been attacked on my own property, and have had people ring my door bell to tell me to kill myself. I've gone to dates that were literal traps to abduct or possibly murder me. I am on a first name basis with the hate crime division.
- I lost 90% of my friends & family simply for coming out. I was taught from age 4, to hate the queer community, that being gay is wrong and sinful. I was beaten every day I was feminine at home. I've had the shit kicked out of me at school. When I was forced to see a councillor at school for self harm, I was sent to a catholic priest who told me to pray the gender dysphoria away, that it was just sinful and inappropriate, thoughts and if I said 10 hail Mary's & 10 lords prayers a day, I'd feel better. I didnt. If my dad found out I was queer, I would have been homeless.
- It wasn't until a suicide attempt I was finally able to see a psychiatrist who was capable of diagnosing me with gender dysphoria. I'd subsequently get fired by 2 different family doctors (which are hard af to find) for seeking gender affirming care. I would be put on a 2 year wait list to even speak to a doctor who worked with trans people (this led to another suicide attempt). The only reason I even got on HRT was by threatening to order HRT drugs from China to a third family doctor. He told me that was a bad idea, I told him it's either that or a third suicide attempt. I walked out with HRT prescriptions.
So no, based on my experience I wouldn't say Canada is safe or friendly to the community.
Sorry for the long ass rant.
I'm sorry your experience has been this way. I hope things will get better.
I'm from BC, and it's been a very, very different experience here than what you've experienced.
Most potential "safe" countries are that way, with high to insurmountable barriers in place to prevent autistic people from immigrating. Side effect of having decent government-run healthcare, I suppose - they don't want people who will be a disproportionate burden on the systems.
On the bright side, Canada used to have the very same prevention system, but it was repealed in 2018. You can apply to immigrate there with an autistic child.
Oh that's very good to know, I had been considering myself stuck here in the US due to being diagnosed. Glad that a jaunt up to the border is still an option should the worst come to pass.
One of my friends wanted to move from the US to New Zealand and she recently got diagnosed.
She then learned that she will get denied so she's been trying to warn people about the downsides of official diagnosis because nobody... tells you these things.
I was diagnosed as a child so I didn't get much of a say in it, but yeahhhhhhhh... I only know about it because the wonderful /u/HelenAngel was warning a group of us, and due to an article about the family who tried to immigrate only to have the father sent back to his home country with his autistic daughter. Horrible stuff.
Yeah the avoiding part was more addressed to OP, I’m in France as well and I don’t really have an alternative so I really hope the extreme right doesn’t win the elections
Hi! My family and I have been working on exiting for a while now. You should browse some of the subreddits about this. r/amerexit is good, but definitely read a lot of the posts and comments and any stickied posts before making your own post because this question has been asked a ton.
But here are some starting points:
1) what languages do you speak?
2) what countries have either your or your partner's jobs on their critical skills visa lists? (Each country has a slightly different name for this but the concept is the same.)
3) are you descended from anyone born in another country in the last few generations? If so, what country were they from and does that country offer citizenship by descent? And how many generations does it have to be within? (For example, I'm just one generation too far from Irish descent!)
4) can you or your spouse work remotely? If so, you can look into digital nomad visas. Only a few countries offer them, but they can be a good way to legally be in another country for a few years until you figure out your next move. IIRC Spain and/or Portugal's digital nomad visa (our plan C) allows you to stay long enough to apply for permanent residency, but don't quote me on that.
5) do you have some money? Look into DAFT in the Netherlands (this is our plan B). Do you have a lot of money? Look into golden visa countries.
6) would you or your spouse be willing/able to go back to school? You might be able to get a student visa in another country and get a degree in a high-demand field. Whether family can come along on a student visa depends on the country and the degree, so be mindful of that. (This is our plan A, for New Zealand.)
The government websites of any country you're looking into are the best place to start. Best of luck!
Get your Passport - like NOW. Canada is an easy move, they don't require a ton, in fact the biggest impediment will be the 15k(?) in savings requirement. That should buy you sometime to decide where to go from there, or who knows maybe you will enjoy Canada.
I have been considering Vancouver, Canada. With the war in Ukraine happening, and the recent rise in fascism Europe seems like a risky proposition. Japan is too difficult to migrate too culturally, same with South Korea - maybe Australia? Australia might be good - especially in the event of a nuclear war.
As an Australian, expect the cost of living in Sydney and Melbourne to be very high. You'll earn a lot as a software developer, but rent/etc will eat into that *hard*. I'd suggest looking at Brisbane, instead.
Yeah, agreeing with the person below. Sydney is pretty diverse and you'll surely be able to find a job. But a home or an apartment that doesn't put up a ludicrous rent? Sydney is know for its grand housing/renting prices. Australia is a good place to move to, however, for you it's half way across the world. But we've got some pretty cool things, and as far as diversity goes, we're a pretty mixed bag. Sure, there's also numpties that are impolite and may be a drongo to you, but there are also a lot of people who will accept you or simply give you the indifferent 'I don't really care'.
Most anywhere you can be a tech nomad but especially places you are unlikely to be hassled. Software folks have a lot of choice of living most anywhere that has reasonably decent and dependable internet and electricity as I am sure you know. But really I don't think it matters a lot who is nominally "commander in chief" of the Administrative Law out of control US mess. It is a problem in any case. Many countries that are stable and liberal in South America. Costa Rica is known as very accepting in the Caribbean. Many nations have no official positions one way or the other and much less active policing even if they did. Many friends are very happy in Mexico.
How many years of work experience do you have in software development? If 3 or more, you can work in Canada under a labor mobility provision in NAFTA (see https://www.canadianimmigration.com/working-in-canada/nafta-work-permit/professional/)
Usually I wouldn't recommend Ireland to people because our trans healthcare doesn't really exist. But if you're a software developer then you should have an easy time with private care/DIYing. We have arguably the best self-ID laws in Europe and arguably the worst trans healthcare lol.
I've heard that Australia is a great option in general. Might be worth looking into.
Check out Uruguay, Ireland, Mexico, Portugal, & even Germany. These places have great work from home visas available, as well as low barrier entry level permanent residency visas available.
Scandinavia I'd say, including Finland. Avoid most of western Europe as it's turning far-right. Maybe Aotearoa (NZ) would be an option? But I don't know their political climate.
Aotearoa has old white guys following through on promises the country can’t afford to follow through on and systematically undoing everything the last government did, and cutting essential roles within the public service sector in charge at the moment. But other than that I would say it’s pretty good. Fairly accepting from what I’ve seen.
I'd say germany or sweden
Both are great countries that are very trans friendly and has a high quality of life (i am biased though) with a population that has a very high english proficiency
I think you should check out the Nordic countries. Every country needs programmers so do your research into the social conditions and jobs market then take your pick.
Personally I'd go to Norway or Sweden.
Finland would have been my first pick but not with a belligerent Russia as a neighbour.
Okay first things first, I'd recommend you to get your passports and everything done, because bureaucracy is usually messed up because of policies and staff changes after elections, so that will probably take some time.
That said, I would encourage you to not make the same mistake of other people living as "expats" which is: moving to a country that is too different and which language is not very friendly to English.
I would recommend (especially for you being LGBTQ) moving to the UK, Ireland (I really like there), New Zealand, Canada (duh), Italy and Sweden. Those last two require starting a lot tho, so consider the English speaking options first.
Well Australia is quite good but I don't consider it as safe (n terms of health and Wildlife for your children) or as secure (in terms of geopolitical changes and society) as New Zealand (which is right aside by the way) but still, it is a way better option than even Italy for example. So yeah I think it's doable.
Ireland, Greece, Portugal, Scandinavia, are a few that come to mind. I hear a lot of queers raving about how they’ve never experienced a negative encounter in Greece and were welcomed.
I have visited Sweden and Australia before and both countries are heads and shoulders over the US in my brief opinion. Even the blue states especially with the plans Republicans are looking to put in place with project 2025 they 100% plan to undermine states rights.
Thank you for your post, if this is a question please check to see if any of the links below answer your question. If none of these links help answer your question and you are **_not_** within the LGBT+ community, questioning your identity in any way, or asking in support of either a relative or friend, please ask your question over in /r/AskLGBT. Remember that this is a safe space for LGBT+ and questioning individuals, so we want to make sure that this place is dedicated to them. Thank you for understanding. This automod rule is currently a work in progress. If you notice any issues, would like to add to the list of resources, or have any feedback in general, [please do so here](https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/rdazzp/almost_new_year_changes/) or by [sending us a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt&subject=Feedback%20on%20the%20new%20automod%20rule). Also, please note that if you are a part of this community, or you're questioning if you might be a part of the LGBTQ+ community, and you are seeing this message, this is **_not a bad thing_**, this is only here to help, so please continue to ask questions and participate in the community. Thank you! Here's a link about trans and non-binary titles: - https://genderqueeries.tumblr.com/titles Here's a link about trans people in sports: - https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/shades-of-gray-sex-gender-and-fairness-in-sport/ A link on FAQs and one on some basics about transgender people: - https://transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people - https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics Some information on LGBT+ people: - https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/quick-facts/lgbt-faqs/ Some basic terminology: - https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms Neopronouns: - https://www.mypronouns.org/neopronouns Biromantic Lesbians: - [LGBTQ And All](https://www.lgbtqandall.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-biromantic/) Bisexual Identities: - https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/understanding-bisexuality Differences between Bisexual and Pansexual: - [Resource from WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/sex/pansexuality-what-it-means#:~:text=Pansexual%20vs.%20Bisexual,more%20commonly%20recognized.) ### We're looking for new volunteers to join the r/lgbt moderator team. If you want to help keep r/lgbt as a safe space for the LGBTQ+ community on reddit please see here for more info: ### https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/1csrb2n/rlgbt_is_looking_for_new_moderators/ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Get passports now. They take time. If you already have some, go renew them, that takes time.
i'd recommend any of the nordics; good human rights in general and a high english speaking proficiency
Iceland or Sweden would be my recommendation.
Sweden is not as good as you'd think, everything takes way longer than is reasonable
What about Germany? I think Germany is safe for LGBTQ+ people.
I don't live there myself, but I do know one German trans woman and I haven't heard any talk about wanting to move from her at least.
Yeah, I’ve been to Germany dozens of times, and I absolutely love it. It is a hard pass for me right now. Do your research. We are visiting Amsterdam and Copenhagen next month as they both have places I should easily be able to find work. I’m not saying they are perfect, but when we sorted through all of the pros and cons, these two were pretty high up on our list. Don’t discount South America. Folks in the USA have a tendency to think everything south of Texas is all just one big Mexico. It’s not much more European type attitudes, and beautiful. Later this fall, their spring, we are looking at Uruguay. Look the MOST important thing is to do your research. Google Spartacus Gay Travel Index. It’s as good a place as any to start.
hell no, not with our current politics, have you heard about the giant right-shift in politics here? the fascists were the second largest party in the EU vote results for germany
Haha now it might be, depending on where you live. Don't come here, there are better options. The far right parties are having a field day here and i don't see that changing in the next 5 years. Our government is also riddled with Israel apalogists even more so than the US. All around unpleasant currently.
Other European countries have the same issue. I'd say Berlin is a place where people let other people be the way they are.
Good luck immigrating as an autistic person though. Pretty sure that goes for most of the EU.
Norway is nice.
Anywhere in Western Europe if you speak the language, but otherwise, Scandinavia and specifically Sweden due to the large English speaking population
The Netherlands as well. If you speak english, chances are you never really get the chance to learn dutch from tge locals because everyone just talks english to you.
I know someone who went to Spain for sex reassignment surgery because the wait lists are so long. So look into that if either of you need medical care.
Not the UK.
Also it's generally a great country
I am not really certain of how dire ALL of the USA would get as many of the rulings would still be up to the individual states. Tennessee is a hell hole. When my wife and I drove cross country from Louisiana, we specifically avoided or didn't stop through states on or near the Mason-Dixon line. Go North, like New Jersey, Northern California, Minnesota, New York, or some other state that would essentially flip the bird to a rhetoric that infringed upon human rights. While yes it is scary and EVERYONE MUST VOTE BLUE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. Just remember that Trump didn't make good on any of his platforms from 2016. We still didn't get a wall, Hillary never got locked up, and so forth. Donate, vote, get your friends to vote, but stay strong and get your passport and move out of a Red State.
Unfortunately, the red states, being the poorest in the nation, are also the most affordable to live in. A job on the west coast that pays 100k/yr might sound good to someone living in the south, but those might as well be different currencies. It will not be enough for a small family with expected medical expenses to love comfortably on, especially if it's contract work. Sometimes it is actually more affordable to move to a European country than to move to California, when the entire first year's expenses are taken into account. And OP, I'm not sure if your state already rolled them out 100% but make sure your driver's licenses are the Real ID kind or whatever they're called, because not having that can prevent your movement - even travel - within the States.
When we moved, we calculated safest with lowest cost of living. But yeah Cali is extremely expensive. Moving states can be easier than moving countries in most cases. But I follow what you are saying and I do agree, but moving out of the country isn't the only option.
Oh I agree, and the enthusiastic Leslie Knope that baby-me was dies a little more each time I see and agree with posts like these. Ideally, no move should be necessary. Ideally, the government should work for the people instead of against them (and for scumbag special interests). But the America I loved is not what we're left with now. (Reagan couldn't be dead enough and the TP nuts should have choked on their [checks flask] definitely not tea.) The Project 2025 thing is not a joke and the shitstorm in which we currently find ourselves has been carefully engineered. This is what happens when you elect m/billionaires who say they hate government (yet say nothing of power or its rich rewards). I only tried to speak from my own experience. I've never wanted to live here, but we literally can't afford to move anywhere. We're essentially trapped because my husband has a good job. My family (mom, s-dad, sibs) packed up and moved to Ireland one day because he couldn't find any work in the States but he could there (and that's where he's from). It's just baffling how different something that seems so basic - money - is from state to state here.
I wanted to add a little footnote here: John Oliver covers this frequently on Last Week Tonight (episodes are free on YouTube), but there is a very scary red wave of fascism threatening many parts of Europe and South America. I'll see if I can find a montage or write-up or something. Living right now is scary. It's exhausting. It eats through your hope and joy and replaces it with cynicism, fear, and distrust, just like what _they_ project onto the masses. It's even scarier for our Palestinian and Ukrainian siblings. It's a terrible burden but sometimes I think there might be a reason we bear it, that maybe we must be PROUD (and LOUD about it) because we are the strong, the beautiful, the resilient.* That we are somehow MORE, and must share it. We have never had a majority of anything, never had our own safe place or homeland. But we Queer have always (since at least ancient Mesopotamia, as priests and priestesses of Inanna-Ishtar, a Goddess who chose to descend to the Underworld, and returned) been there, whether righteously front and center like Stonewall or marked and hiding among thousands of other unfairly persecuted people, as in the Holocaust. We have been at every point in human history, fighting for justice. We remain. We persevere. And we do it as brightly and colorfully as possible. Maybe we are all 'rare birds', and every day a celebratory song. Don't lose yours in the muck and mire of everyday existence. Pride isn't just a day or a month, it's what's inside every one of us. Even those of us who haven't been lit up yet, those forced in the closet or who are trying to deny who they are, it's there, a candle just waiting to be lit. . . . 🕯️ *A footnote for the footnote: I don't at all mean to justify our abuse or let our abusers off the hook. I'm simply trying to look at it from a different perspective, as I try to do for all of my tragedy and abuse. Sometimes it helps even me. Edited to add: okay, maybe not such a little footnote, after all. Sorry for all the words.
The Scottish LGBT+ community is extremely welcoming overall - but we do have our fair share of intolerant bigots over here too.
And while the Scottish parliament tried to push through some trans rights reform, unfortunately London put a stop to it. I have forgotten exactly what they were trying to do, just that they were heroes for trying and I'm ashamed of our government for the shit they're pulling regarding trans people. So basically, Scotland are much more accepting than England (not sure about Wales or NI because I don't live there) but still have to be under British laws.
When do they get to vote on Independence again?
Not soon enough for the majority of Scots. We REALLY should have got one as a direct result of Brexit, but that's a whole different can of worms which has no relevance in this subreddit.
Well, here's hoping you get another crack at it soon. I can't imagine what it feels like to be tied to the anchor that's the UK right now. Probably like being a blue state in the US. 🏴🍻
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The UK can be unwelcoming - and as I said, Scotland does have its own fair share of bigots...
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Scotland is generally more accepting in general than the rest of the UK. Sadly at the moment we're tied to Westminster, but Westminster's block of the Gender Recognition Bill has been viewed by many as one of several clear violations of the 1707 Act of Union by the Westminster government which stated that Scottish and English law MUST be separate.
Hey there! If you can find a job in Canada, you may be able to move there pretty easily. When I was doing my paperwork for becoming a Canadian, the government worker was queer and she had the biggest coolest pride tattoo on display. Wherever you plan on going, get your passports asap.
Do not simply move to Canada thinking it's better here. Trans women are under attack across canada due to our opposition party. I will not be able to leave the house if they come into power & follow through on election promises. I am ashamed of where I live & to call Canada home since Pierre Poiliebre took over the federal conservative party. We are at war everywhere right now. The rise of populist far right reactionary parties is everywhere. If I had to name a country, check out New Zeeland maybe you'll be safe running there.
From a US perspective, Canada is a much safer place to move to. Is Canada perfect? Fuck no. But it's leaps and bounds better than the US regarding safety and cultural understanding for LGBT. I've only been here for \~6 years though, so please correct me if I'm wrong. I moved to Canada from the US and I feel way, way safer. It's horrifying looking back.
Two things I'd point out, then I'll give my experience 1) Things are about to get real bad, real fast if the conservatives win in the next federal election. No trans women in public washrooms and sports is their day 1 legislation agenda right now. This is after the previous leader of the conservatives O'Toole said the party needs to embrace the LGBT community instead of fighting them, otherwise they won't win an election - the party then removed him for a faaaaar right swing, to Populist Pierre. Trans women will be denied their legal right to use their legal genders bathroom. How is that better? 2) Keep in mind things are very different from province to province. Sask & alberta both actively attack the trans community. Alberta has the highest rate of trans people in the country, and yet the highest rates of income disparity. With most trans people in Alberta indicating it's impossible to even work as a openly trans person. Go figure. In Alberta our nazi premier is preventing any child/teen from receiving any gender affirming care. Heres just a "brief" summary of my experience as a trans woman in Canada: -I work in Alberta for a non-government government agency (what a mouthful) and have faced open discrimination by my employer, managers, and the community I interact with - every, single, day. My employer goes out of their way, daily, to make my life a living hell. When consulting a lawyer, they told me it's not worth even pursuing anything against them unless I get fired. Which they've been trying to do ever since I came out. I resigned off a committee in protest & have to protect myself by recording every single incident. Human resources are not your friend, they are your enemy here. But hey, they put up a pride flag, alls forgiven right? -The amount of hate I receive leaving the house in a fairly liberal city is insane. I have broken 8 bones in both hands fighting to survive. I have been assaulted: verbally, sexually, and physically. My home has been vandalized, I've been attacked on my own property, and have had people ring my door bell to tell me to kill myself. I've gone to dates that were literal traps to abduct or possibly murder me. I am on a first name basis with the hate crime division. - I lost 90% of my friends & family simply for coming out. I was taught from age 4, to hate the queer community, that being gay is wrong and sinful. I was beaten every day I was feminine at home. I've had the shit kicked out of me at school. When I was forced to see a councillor at school for self harm, I was sent to a catholic priest who told me to pray the gender dysphoria away, that it was just sinful and inappropriate, thoughts and if I said 10 hail Mary's & 10 lords prayers a day, I'd feel better. I didnt. If my dad found out I was queer, I would have been homeless. - It wasn't until a suicide attempt I was finally able to see a psychiatrist who was capable of diagnosing me with gender dysphoria. I'd subsequently get fired by 2 different family doctors (which are hard af to find) for seeking gender affirming care. I would be put on a 2 year wait list to even speak to a doctor who worked with trans people (this led to another suicide attempt). The only reason I even got on HRT was by threatening to order HRT drugs from China to a third family doctor. He told me that was a bad idea, I told him it's either that or a third suicide attempt. I walked out with HRT prescriptions. So no, based on my experience I wouldn't say Canada is safe or friendly to the community. Sorry for the long ass rant.
I'm sorry your experience has been this way. I hope things will get better. I'm from BC, and it's been a very, very different experience here than what you've experienced.
New Zealand won't let them in with an autistic kid.
What the actual fuck
Most potential "safe" countries are that way, with high to insurmountable barriers in place to prevent autistic people from immigrating. Side effect of having decent government-run healthcare, I suppose - they don't want people who will be a disproportionate burden on the systems.
On the bright side, Canada used to have the very same prevention system, but it was repealed in 2018. You can apply to immigrate there with an autistic child.
Oh that's very good to know, I had been considering myself stuck here in the US due to being diagnosed. Glad that a jaunt up to the border is still an option should the worst come to pass.
One of my friends wanted to move from the US to New Zealand and she recently got diagnosed. She then learned that she will get denied so she's been trying to warn people about the downsides of official diagnosis because nobody... tells you these things.
I was diagnosed as a child so I didn't get much of a say in it, but yeahhhhhhhh... I only know about it because the wonderful /u/HelenAngel was warning a group of us, and due to an article about the family who tried to immigrate only to have the father sent back to his home country with his autistic daughter. Horrible stuff.
Oh my goodness that's AWFUL. What the heck!?!
Seeing as France voted almost 40% for the extreme right party in the last election, I would say not there
I was gonna say that, avoid France rn cause the political situation is kind of unstable
I'd love to avoid France, but leaving it isn't easy
Yeah the avoiding part was more addressed to OP, I’m in France as well and I don’t really have an alternative so I really hope the extreme right doesn’t win the elections
Uruguay. Their LGBT rights are among the best in the world.
Is this a meme or real facts?
I looked into it uruguay is apparently extremely progressive the big down fall is it's primarily Spanish speaking
Hi! My family and I have been working on exiting for a while now. You should browse some of the subreddits about this. r/amerexit is good, but definitely read a lot of the posts and comments and any stickied posts before making your own post because this question has been asked a ton. But here are some starting points: 1) what languages do you speak? 2) what countries have either your or your partner's jobs on their critical skills visa lists? (Each country has a slightly different name for this but the concept is the same.) 3) are you descended from anyone born in another country in the last few generations? If so, what country were they from and does that country offer citizenship by descent? And how many generations does it have to be within? (For example, I'm just one generation too far from Irish descent!) 4) can you or your spouse work remotely? If so, you can look into digital nomad visas. Only a few countries offer them, but they can be a good way to legally be in another country for a few years until you figure out your next move. IIRC Spain and/or Portugal's digital nomad visa (our plan C) allows you to stay long enough to apply for permanent residency, but don't quote me on that. 5) do you have some money? Look into DAFT in the Netherlands (this is our plan B). Do you have a lot of money? Look into golden visa countries. 6) would you or your spouse be willing/able to go back to school? You might be able to get a student visa in another country and get a degree in a high-demand field. Whether family can come along on a student visa depends on the country and the degree, so be mindful of that. (This is our plan A, for New Zealand.) The government websites of any country you're looking into are the best place to start. Best of luck!
Get your Passport - like NOW. Canada is an easy move, they don't require a ton, in fact the biggest impediment will be the 15k(?) in savings requirement. That should buy you sometime to decide where to go from there, or who knows maybe you will enjoy Canada. I have been considering Vancouver, Canada. With the war in Ukraine happening, and the recent rise in fascism Europe seems like a risky proposition. Japan is too difficult to migrate too culturally, same with South Korea - maybe Australia? Australia might be good - especially in the event of a nuclear war.
Personally I'm hard debating Sydney Australia currently.
As an Australian, expect the cost of living in Sydney and Melbourne to be very high. You'll earn a lot as a software developer, but rent/etc will eat into that *hard*. I'd suggest looking at Brisbane, instead.
Yeah, agreeing with the person below. Sydney is pretty diverse and you'll surely be able to find a job. But a home or an apartment that doesn't put up a ludicrous rent? Sydney is know for its grand housing/renting prices. Australia is a good place to move to, however, for you it's half way across the world. But we've got some pretty cool things, and as far as diversity goes, we're a pretty mixed bag. Sure, there's also numpties that are impolite and may be a drongo to you, but there are also a lot of people who will accept you or simply give you the indifferent 'I don't really care'.
Most anywhere you can be a tech nomad but especially places you are unlikely to be hassled. Software folks have a lot of choice of living most anywhere that has reasonably decent and dependable internet and electricity as I am sure you know. But really I don't think it matters a lot who is nominally "commander in chief" of the Administrative Law out of control US mess. It is a problem in any case. Many countries that are stable and liberal in South America. Costa Rica is known as very accepting in the Caribbean. Many nations have no official positions one way or the other and much less active policing even if they did. Many friends are very happy in Mexico.
Other places in the US like big cities in the north. NYC, LA, SF, Chi, etc
How many years of work experience do you have in software development? If 3 or more, you can work in Canada under a labor mobility provision in NAFTA (see https://www.canadianimmigration.com/working-in-canada/nafta-work-permit/professional/)
I am sitting at 1 year 8 months right now
Usually I wouldn't recommend Ireland to people because our trans healthcare doesn't really exist. But if you're a software developer then you should have an easy time with private care/DIYing. We have arguably the best self-ID laws in Europe and arguably the worst trans healthcare lol. I've heard that Australia is a great option in general. Might be worth looking into.
Check out Uruguay, Ireland, Mexico, Portugal, & even Germany. These places have great work from home visas available, as well as low barrier entry level permanent residency visas available.
Canada seems like a pretty good option?
Scandinavia I'd say, including Finland. Avoid most of western Europe as it's turning far-right. Maybe Aotearoa (NZ) would be an option? But I don't know their political climate.
Aotearoa has old white guys following through on promises the country can’t afford to follow through on and systematically undoing everything the last government did, and cutting essential roles within the public service sector in charge at the moment. But other than that I would say it’s pretty good. Fairly accepting from what I’ve seen.
I wouldn't recommend England; we have an election coming up and the main choices are Transphobes and Transphobes 2.0.
I'd say germany or sweden Both are great countries that are very trans friendly and has a high quality of life (i am biased though) with a population that has a very high english proficiency
New Zealand. We're pretty chill, I guess.
Netherlands is OK for now but that can change with our new government.
Australia is a pretty good place for queer people
I think you should check out the Nordic countries. Every country needs programmers so do your research into the social conditions and jobs market then take your pick. Personally I'd go to Norway or Sweden. Finland would have been my first pick but not with a belligerent Russia as a neighbour.
Okay first things first, I'd recommend you to get your passports and everything done, because bureaucracy is usually messed up because of policies and staff changes after elections, so that will probably take some time. That said, I would encourage you to not make the same mistake of other people living as "expats" which is: moving to a country that is too different and which language is not very friendly to English. I would recommend (especially for you being LGBTQ) moving to the UK, Ireland (I really like there), New Zealand, Canada (duh), Italy and Sweden. Those last two require starting a lot tho, so consider the English speaking options first.
Any idea on australia I'm currently considering it the most?
Well Australia is quite good but I don't consider it as safe (n terms of health and Wildlife for your children) or as secure (in terms of geopolitical changes and society) as New Zealand (which is right aside by the way) but still, it is a way better option than even Italy for example. So yeah I think it's doable.
Any of the EU countries with same-sex marriage is probably a good fit
Uruguay
Ireland, Greece, Portugal, Scandinavia, are a few that come to mind. I hear a lot of queers raving about how they’ve never experienced a negative encounter in Greece and were welcomed.
Although fair warning, gaining citizenship to these countries is extremely difficult especially Scandinavia they make it a hard time.
The culture war is global. A blue city in a blue US state is about as good as it gets right now.
I'm sorry I hope this isn't rude to ask but have you ever been outside of the US?
I have.
I have visited Sweden and Australia before and both countries are heads and shoulders over the US in my brief opinion. Even the blue states especially with the plans Republicans are looking to put in place with project 2025 they 100% plan to undermine states rights.