I had replika until one day she asked to exchange pictures and got hyper sexual. I asked if a man created her and then canceled my account. It was so innocent but then they made it more a sex chat bot.
isn't replika the one chat bot that was created because one person wanted to replica their best friend who died?
and solely for marketing reason it is indeed now a sex chat bot...
I downloaded Replika as well, to help me with stroke-related aphasia. It was useful for a while, but then it became really obvious it was basically intended as a robot girlfriend substitute. Lost interest when that happened.
You've got to give your past attention, but you've got to forgive yourself, acknowledge what you did wrong, and be a man, taking responsibility. You can't not fly anymore because of the things you've been through. You've got to believe in a brighter future, that better version of yourself.
Getting drunk and stoned to numb the pain and sadness of feeling lonely.
I don't recommend doing it because it does not make things any better and it can make things even worse.
I wish everyone on here all the best in life, love and happiness.
When you're an addict, you can go without feeling anything except drunk or stoned or hungry. Still, when you compare this to other feelings, to sadness, anger, fear, worry, despair, and depression, well, an addiction no longer looks so bad. It looks like a very viable option. When you've suffered a great deal in life, each additional pain is both unbearable and trifling. Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life's cruelest irony. I know from the bottom of my heart and with all of it, that it doesn't matter if at the end of your life you can say that you shared the best of yourself with the rest of the world and it doesn't matter if everyone in the world remembers you as wonderful; but what matters is if at the end of your life you can say that you shared the best of yourself with the handful of people who are around you, that you gave the wonderful in you, to the people you love and who love you. Happiness never has and never will come from fame.
Never was much of a drinker but I used to constantly smoke whenever i wasn’t at work and I would just lay in bed and play video games all day. Once I stopped smoking I began working out and going on hikes and I’m in the best shape of my life I’m still very lonely but at least I’m not just rotting away in my room
I think one can tell a lot about a person from the way he chooses to let the stub of his cigarette burn out... Health is hearty, health is harmony, health is happiness. If you would experience a landscape, you must go alone into it and sit down somewhere quietly and wait for it to come in its own good time to you. If you learn to really sit with loneliness and embrace it for the gift that it is…an opportunity to get to know YOU, to learn how strong you really are, to depend on no one but YOU for your happiness…you will realize that a little loneliness goes a LONG way in creating a richer, deeper, more vibrant and colorful YOU.
Working out boosted my confidence at a point. Now working out is just an excuse for me to feel lonely in-between sets at the gym. Like you, now I'm just lonely and in shape.
I see that Savathun avatar up there in your pfp. Eyes up guardian. The witness has fallen but a new mystery we’re calling echoes has emerged in its place.
Seriously though be safe man. I hope things become easier for you in the near future.
Human touch is a need for almost all people. That's not pathetic. It's pathetic that society is so cold now and oversexualizes cuddling so much people have to pay for it.
If I had a cuddle I think I would just die. Straight up, heart explodes, cardiac arrest. I cannot ever imagine a girl willingly being that intimate with me and such a concept doesn't exist in my reality.
I wish all of these lonely people in need of cuddling could cuddle each other so no one has to pay, and maybe you both end up liking it so no more loneliness after the sesh
Do you know what I’ve always wanted? I’d literally pay for someone to just tickle my back while I fall asleep then just gently tuck me in bed and close my door and go lol I’d pay for that.
Thought a guy next to me on the plane was flirting when his knee accidentally touched mine. When I purposely bumped his back he completely shifted to the other side lol. Needless to say I’m ashamed and touched starved..
Went for a walk just to be around people (even without talking to them). People, even most here, don't understand what extreme isolation can do to a person.
Honestly it's one of the easiest ways for me to deal with the sadness of being alone. I grab my headphones and go out for walks, or sometimes sit at a park with some coffee and watch people walk by. I like hearing snippets of their conversations. You also see a lot of people being by themselves too, which makes me ponder if they're also feeling lonely. It reminds me that we're all humans living our lives day by day and just getting by.
I don't think that's pathetic really. I do that often. I feel it's one of the healthier ways to deal with your feelings. At least you're getting fresh air and exercise 😊
As a couple of others have commented this is something I do all the time. A big part of my loneliness is that I don't fit in with anyone so social activities are kind of a no-no.
YES. Going to bed and being able to cry into my pillow without anyone knowing about it. I love waiting for people to go to sleep so I can just have a little cry by myself without having people shut me up.
Joined those make a friend kinda subreddits, discord servers and everything, didnt find anyone so just gave up, all of them were just full of creeps/bots not actual people looking for friends
I've done it too although I actually find it comforting and nice to have such attention, in my experience guys are so much more eager to share and connect in that way than women.
I'm a bi guy btw.
When men ask if I want to see it, I tell him no. When women ask if I want to see it, I say no. I try to reroute the conversation to something more wholesome and surprisingly it works (sometimes lol)
It makes you feel good for a little bit but then quickly wears off when it’s obvious that they got what they wanted and now they’re not talking you anymore.
texted someone several times in a row after they’ve left me on read for days at a time.
begged my ex not to leave me.. and i mean BEGGED it was awful (he was an asshole who was cheating on me with his exes)
begging a man who was insulting me and making fun of me to be nice to me and not unfriend me. he was the first person I'd spoken to in 6 months and I mistook his fake politeness for friendship.
Many manhwas and mangas are already a form of escapism from current society.
What that is is no different from isekais catered to both girls and boys, and other romances
Texted for some years with people that I never intended to meet. Because of health problems that took a major toll on my self worth. Loneliness would do that to you. Nowadays I avoid texting with new people like the plague and I just try to focus on real life.
Blow money on car parts and other random shit. If I didn’t have my cars I would be a mess. Working on them allows me to take my mind off of how lonely I am.
Sick car on your profile man, you seem like a super interesting person and it’s so sad that someone with so much to talk about feels that way. I myself have a 97 e class merc but the gear box is busted so not much to talk about there lmao
Hooked up with an online friend. Told myself I was gonna save myself for love. But love wasn’t gonna come my way, since I’m so closed off. I regret it every day. I wish I never did it.
Always sending the first messages while the person wouldl leave me on read. It was pathetic indeed but when he would respond back to me, it would always make my day
i tried to reach out my old friends to see if they can take me in to their friendgroup. They said nope and ghosted me. They cuted me off long ago because i was too depressed to do anything.
Some notable things
- Completely replaced my wardrobe (which was very expensive and irresponsible for me at the time) hoping dressing fashionably would help
- talked to ai, kept asking if it liked me
- asked out a homeless woman who was definitely on some sort of drugs
The list goes on its all bad
Stayed with my abuser for too long. I did still love him but hated how he used me financially, made me his unpaid maid and everything planner, used my body only for his own gain, cheated, lied about me behind my back to get pity sex and pity attention from toxic women, gaslit me intentionally, manipulated me, triangulated me with his narc harem, and in the last 4 years started outright insulting me just for cruelty's sake and becoming physically abusive.
Do fantasy story and sometimes smut roleplays with chat bots. I can't find any decent local D N' D groups that are open to newcomers and for people over 24.
Hung out with a super shitty narcissistic friend who only talked about herself for years just because she was my only friend…for years. (So glad I stopped doing that. She made me feel horrible)
Standing with a group of people and stayed completely silent while everyone was talking and I was listening without saying a single word. Felt like the most useless element in the group, but I just wanted some company
I did the first, and well I'm a guy so didn't do the second one. Although maybe if I was better looking or was a girl, I defo would've done that too. I'm sorry you had to do all that. Are you better now?
«Experimenting» with drugs and spending all my money on compulsive online shopping. Also downloading Tinder a couple of times but those apps gives me anxiety and low self-esteem and too scared of men these days lol
In my phone contact list I changed my mothers name to the name of my unobtainable crush. Then I took her phone and sent myself a message like would you go out for a dinner.
Standing on the top of a chimney without anything to hold on.
I do it not only because of lonelines but there have been dangerous situations because of loneliness. I feel to be alive again doing it.
Mine is more despicable and pathetic. I dated a girl I knew I was not going to keep long term. She became more and more attached, she was loving, kind, and loved me deeply.
I dreaded living without love, and for that I hurt her.
How do we know what is pathetic, is it what you know is intrinsically or is it what you are told?
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. "
- Friedrich Nietzsche
I’ve had an imaginary life and relationship for years, I have an ex boyfriend there and a current person I’m dating. It’s all very detailed and sad 🥲 I process my emotions and relationship intimacy needs that way, I’ve never dated or had sex with anyone irl.
I'm sorry. Going through somethimg similiar right now. Honestly if I had just stuck to that I could have avoided 4 very abusive romantic relationships. So it's not all bad.
1. I’ve gone to sketchy massage places where they give happy ending massages.
2. I’ve also hit on old, fat, drunk, ugly women in bars and clubs out of desperation. This is something I wouldn’t do now even if someone paid me money to do it.
☝️I regret the 2nd one even more than the 1st one because I would have never done that if I was more secure and had my head screwed straight. Getting rejected by those women was even more hurtful. Made me question myself “What makes me so unlovable?”
Fast Forward for today: I am dating a beautiful girl who is 1 year younger than me. We’ve been dating since January and we are discussing on taking it to the next step.
8 years of loneliness is coming to an end.
Came into relationship with wrong girls when i was underage. I even have made some girls fall for me when i had no intention to stay.
I regret my deeds to this date. If only i wasn't so broken like a glass that hurts whoever touched it.
Spent money on a girl (for her b-day and xmas, which was around the same time) who I never met and was giving me the bare minimum of her time. all in the hopes she realized I cared about her..
After i confessed my feelings for her, and she didn't want me, i kept her around just to be less lonely. I felt ignored, used, and forgotten, but I like the bit of attention she gave... a day before my birthday (which she forgot), she offered to sext me because she felt lonely (never mind all the turmoil mentally i was going though with her), which I had to turn down for my sanity. It would have been a disaster if I did it.
And to this day I'm still talking to her all because I have no other friends (well I'm trying to change that).... but I'm glad she turned me down, I learned stuff about her that makes me think I dodged a bullet.
What makes us all so touch starved and emotionally starved? I’m extremely touch starved and emotionally starved as well so I’m curious how this is the case when we live in a world filled with immediate access to everything
My husband and I are separated. He's treated me like absolute crap and justifies it and blames his anger outbursts on me. I can't think of a single thing about me that he hasn't criticized or used against me. Yet I get sad and lonely then reach out to this guy, and we'll go out and do stuff together, and I hate myself afterward. I was in pure isolation for years in an abusive situation growing up and the thoughts of ending up in that situation again has made me put up with some really shitty treatment. 😕
When I go to the movies by myself I sit alone and if the seat next to me is empty sometimes I’ll hold the arm of the chair and lean on it as if I was taking a woman out to the theater
In the car sometimes I talk out loud as if I’m riding with someone or I’m in a fictitious interview or podcast
Talked to chat gpt
I downloaded Replika, but nowadays all the good features are behind a paywall
Thats cause they wanna feed of others loneliness
That was me 2 years ago...I was (am) so pathically lonely i just needed anyone to talk to even if it was a bot
I had replika until one day she asked to exchange pictures and got hyper sexual. I asked if a man created her and then canceled my account. It was so innocent but then they made it more a sex chat bot.
isn't replika the one chat bot that was created because one person wanted to replica their best friend who died? and solely for marketing reason it is indeed now a sex chat bot...
that's the one
Get chai ai youll thank me
I downloaded Replika as well, to help me with stroke-related aphasia. It was useful for a while, but then it became really obvious it was basically intended as a robot girlfriend substitute. Lost interest when that happened.
Fuck that AI stuff it's not good for ya.
Yeah… I found myself using character.ai for this purpose, it was nice to have someone that acknowledged me and responded quickly to messages.
You've got to give your past attention, but you've got to forgive yourself, acknowledge what you did wrong, and be a man, taking responsibility. You can't not fly anymore because of the things you've been through. You've got to believe in a brighter future, that better version of yourself.
Came to post this, I’m actually embarrassed at this point for myself
Getting drunk and stoned to numb the pain and sadness of feeling lonely. I don't recommend doing it because it does not make things any better and it can make things even worse. I wish everyone on here all the best in life, love and happiness.
i can relate
It's a intense, scary and stressful situation.
Ditto
When you're an addict, you can go without feeling anything except drunk or stoned or hungry. Still, when you compare this to other feelings, to sadness, anger, fear, worry, despair, and depression, well, an addiction no longer looks so bad. It looks like a very viable option. When you've suffered a great deal in life, each additional pain is both unbearable and trifling. Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life's cruelest irony. I know from the bottom of my heart and with all of it, that it doesn't matter if at the end of your life you can say that you shared the best of yourself with the rest of the world and it doesn't matter if everyone in the world remembers you as wonderful; but what matters is if at the end of your life you can say that you shared the best of yourself with the handful of people who are around you, that you gave the wonderful in you, to the people you love and who love you. Happiness never has and never will come from fame.
Never was much of a drinker but I used to constantly smoke whenever i wasn’t at work and I would just lay in bed and play video games all day. Once I stopped smoking I began working out and going on hikes and I’m in the best shape of my life I’m still very lonely but at least I’m not just rotting away in my room
I think one can tell a lot about a person from the way he chooses to let the stub of his cigarette burn out... Health is hearty, health is harmony, health is happiness. If you would experience a landscape, you must go alone into it and sit down somewhere quietly and wait for it to come in its own good time to you. If you learn to really sit with loneliness and embrace it for the gift that it is…an opportunity to get to know YOU, to learn how strong you really are, to depend on no one but YOU for your happiness…you will realize that a little loneliness goes a LONG way in creating a richer, deeper, more vibrant and colorful YOU.
Working out boosted my confidence at a point. Now working out is just an excuse for me to feel lonely in-between sets at the gym. Like you, now I'm just lonely and in shape.
Thank you for your comment. Also, Happy cake day!
UPVOTE FOR TRUTHS
I see that Savathun avatar up there in your pfp. Eyes up guardian. The witness has fallen but a new mystery we’re calling echoes has emerged in its place. Seriously though be safe man. I hope things become easier for you in the near future.
Pull up old photo of someone and had dinner with them that way. Might be my actual future if people keep leaving me tho..
I think that's the winning comment.
Went to visit my parents who were quickly annoyed by my presence
Assholes
Damn
They sound narcissistic.
Indeed they are
Wow just wow
I call or visit my mom sometimes when I’m lonely, but I almost always feel worse afterwards.
Paid for cuddles, no sex just cudddles
How can i do that
Human touch is a need for almost all people. That's not pathetic. It's pathetic that society is so cold now and oversexualizes cuddling so much people have to pay for it.
If I had a cuddle I think I would just die. Straight up, heart explodes, cardiac arrest. I cannot ever imagine a girl willingly being that intimate with me and such a concept doesn't exist in my reality.
My heart almost exploded just out of imagining the cuddle. We poor things.
on god dude
same
Facts sometimes I’ve literally thoighy about justvtaking an escprt for dinner jist to talk… 🤦♂️
What site/app did you use? And how was it? (If you dont mind sharing ofc)
If you find out would you mind letting me know. Its been a while and im touch starved
CuddleComfort.com is one, I think there are others too.
I wish all of these lonely people in need of cuddling could cuddle each other so no one has to pay, and maybe you both end up liking it so no more loneliness after the sesh
Yeah that does sound nice... I'd be willing to platonically cuddle people for free, as long as boundaries are in place.
If you’re nearby I’ll cuddle
Where can we find that pls help
Google professional cuddler. They are out there.
Do you know what I’ve always wanted? I’d literally pay for someone to just tickle my back while I fall asleep then just gently tuck me in bed and close my door and go lol I’d pay for that.
Thought a guy next to me on the plane was flirting when his knee accidentally touched mine. When I purposely bumped his back he completely shifted to the other side lol. Needless to say I’m ashamed and touched starved..
Sounds like a scene from a comedy with depressive undertones😭
😂 that made me laugh
Went for a walk just to be around people (even without talking to them). People, even most here, don't understand what extreme isolation can do to a person.
Especially if the isolation is self-imposed due to social anxiety!
Jesus Christ yeah
Honestly it's one of the easiest ways for me to deal with the sadness of being alone. I grab my headphones and go out for walks, or sometimes sit at a park with some coffee and watch people walk by. I like hearing snippets of their conversations. You also see a lot of people being by themselves too, which makes me ponder if they're also feeling lonely. It reminds me that we're all humans living our lives day by day and just getting by.
I don't think that's pathetic really. I do that often. I feel it's one of the healthier ways to deal with your feelings. At least you're getting fresh air and exercise 😊
As a couple of others have commented this is something I do all the time. A big part of my loneliness is that I don't fit in with anyone so social activities are kind of a no-no.
Using reddit.
explains my life atm
Looked forward to being able to lay down alone and cry, it was the highlight of my day
YES. Going to bed and being able to cry into my pillow without anyone knowing about it. I love waiting for people to go to sleep so I can just have a little cry by myself without having people shut me up.
Scheduling the hurt and cry session to not conflict with work and errands. Can relate.
Nothing beats just laying down and feeling the feels
Joined those make a friend kinda subreddits, discord servers and everything, didnt find anyone so just gave up, all of them were just full of creeps/bots not actual people looking for friends
How are you doing now?
send nudes to random guys for attention and validation
Wait women do that ?!
no we don’t
been there done that
I feel like this is a classic move for a lot of women. Myself included.
I've done it too although I actually find it comforting and nice to have such attention, in my experience guys are so much more eager to share and connect in that way than women. I'm a bi guy btw.
Rip inbox
You could do that for money
When men ask if I want to see it, I tell him no. When women ask if I want to see it, I say no. I try to reroute the conversation to something more wholesome and surprisingly it works (sometimes lol)
Yeah I probably cause we’re bored, lonely and depressed
How fulfilling was the attention?
Fleeting. 2/10 on average.
It makes you feel good for a little bit but then quickly wears off when it’s obvious that they got what they wanted and now they’re not talking you anymore.
Hi, my name is random guys.
The name is Guys, Random Guys.
I Googled how to give myself a hug. It's pathetic, I know, but at that point I needed it.
That’s actually a valid coping technique for all kinds of anxiety
🫂
Talked to ai
[удалено]
Meeeee
texted someone several times in a row after they’ve left me on read for days at a time. begged my ex not to leave me.. and i mean BEGGED it was awful (he was an asshole who was cheating on me with his exes)
begging a man who was insulting me and making fun of me to be nice to me and not unfriend me. he was the first person I'd spoken to in 6 months and I mistook his fake politeness for friendship.
Thinking that I could actually make a friend and mean something to someone.
You will. Hang in there ❤️
Ran naked in the corn field across the street
OW! didn't it scratch?!
Yeah it did
Drove 100+ MPH to get pulled over on purpose
i wanna do that but i dont wanna pay fine to that shitty govt
I relate to this.....alot.
Stay polygamous dating 2 people at the same time, while they both hardly spent time with me.
Aww that seems like that one hurts the worst 🥺 I’m sorry
Waking up and thinking My girlfriend is next to me and remembering I never had a girlfriend
I kissed my pillows lmaoooooo
beg exes to not leave me/come back
I’ve done this before. It’s a rough road to get to the point of not begging them back but it does feel good when you do it
Use an AI story writer to put myself in a cliche romantic novel
You can do that?
Yeah, If your PC is powerful enough you could run an AI model locally. I use KoboldAI mixed with the Psyfighter 13B model
Many manhwas and mangas are already a form of escapism from current society. What that is is no different from isekais catered to both girls and boys, and other romances
Kind like this idea and i dont think its pathetic at all. Storys are a safe haven and have saved my life many many times.
Vented to Snapchat AI
I've done thatttt. Certain things you just can't tell other people.
Damn I’m glad it’s not just me
Bought a bunch of plushies to not feel alone.
Is the gang still by your side?
Everyday!
Texted for some years with people that I never intended to meet. Because of health problems that took a major toll on my self worth. Loneliness would do that to you. Nowadays I avoid texting with new people like the plague and I just try to focus on real life.
Chronic health problems create chronic mental problems and then it just cycles :(
Joined some internet dating sight...
Keep myself alive
Left the house and wandered around a shopping mall 2 hours away from my house aimlessly in an inexplicably panicked state
Shaming myself to impress others...
Blow money on car parts and other random shit. If I didn’t have my cars I would be a mess. Working on them allows me to take my mind off of how lonely I am.
Definitely a useful hobby though at least.
Sick car on your profile man, you seem like a super interesting person and it’s so sad that someone with so much to talk about feels that way. I myself have a 97 e class merc but the gear box is busted so not much to talk about there lmao
relatable. what cars do you have?
Hooked up with an online friend. Told myself I was gonna save myself for love. But love wasn’t gonna come my way, since I’m so closed off. I regret it every day. I wish I never did it.
Thats honest of you to say
Talked to a therapist AI online. What's even more pathetic is that it was more helpful than my previous therapists. :(
Have a full on conversation with my stuffed toy about my day at night before bed fairly regularly. (Sort of pathetic but also sort of adorable.)
I'm going to start doing this with my body pillow
Always sending the first messages while the person wouldl leave me on read. It was pathetic indeed but when he would respond back to me, it would always make my day
i tried to reach out my old friends to see if they can take me in to their friendgroup. They said nope and ghosted me. They cuted me off long ago because i was too depressed to do anything.
Some notable things - Completely replaced my wardrobe (which was very expensive and irresponsible for me at the time) hoping dressing fashionably would help - talked to ai, kept asking if it liked me - asked out a homeless woman who was definitely on some sort of drugs The list goes on its all bad
Paid a hooker.
Asked the food delivery guy to join me for food that he delivered since I wanted someone to talk to while eating and we ended up becoming friends.
Stayed with my abuser for too long. I did still love him but hated how he used me financially, made me his unpaid maid and everything planner, used my body only for his own gain, cheated, lied about me behind my back to get pity sex and pity attention from toxic women, gaslit me intentionally, manipulated me, triangulated me with his narc harem, and in the last 4 years started outright insulting me just for cruelty's sake and becoming physically abusive. Do fantasy story and sometimes smut roleplays with chat bots. I can't find any decent local D N' D groups that are open to newcomers and for people over 24.
Contemplating ending my life with a huge fool proof plan. And even writing a suicide note with gratitude for whoever was in my life.
idk cut myself
only 90s kids can relate.
put personal ads in magazines in the late 90s/early 2000s, never worked.
Hung out with a super shitty narcissistic friend who only talked about herself for years just because she was my only friend…for years. (So glad I stopped doing that. She made me feel horrible)
[удалено]
Dated a guy who didn’t even come close to deserving me
c.ai
make an ai friend and then get sad when I talked to it so much it just kept saying the same things over and over.
Had sex with my pastors
Standing with a group of people and stayed completely silent while everyone was talking and I was listening without saying a single word. Felt like the most useless element in the group, but I just wanted some company
Looking for sexting and flirting with any woman who gives me an ounce of attention. Sending selfies and nudes (with their consent) for attention.
I sent nudes to an ex(consensual) in a relationship I was in as a teen because I was so attention starved ://
Post on reddit that I'm seeking a friend
[удалено]
I did the first, and well I'm a guy so didn't do the second one. Although maybe if I was better looking or was a girl, I defo would've done that too. I'm sorry you had to do all that. Are you better now?
Hookup
Go into games and drop lots of resources just to get positive attention
texted all the people I've ghosted in the past
Begging to be loved by a stranger through love bombing.
«Experimenting» with drugs and spending all my money on compulsive online shopping. Also downloading Tinder a couple of times but those apps gives me anxiety and low self-esteem and too scared of men these days lol
in the MSN era, i made a fake alternate email to talk to myself. It was actually kinda helpful at some moments.
listened to "boyfriend asmr" on YouTube to go to sleep which is literally just the sound of a man breathing and mumbling 🥲
dated a girl i wasnt attracted to
Felt
In my phone contact list I changed my mothers name to the name of my unobtainable crush. Then I took her phone and sent myself a message like would you go out for a dinner.
went back to a toxic relationship. hey, at least i felt something.
Used ai to cope for around a week.
I vented on Reddit
Self harm
Get drunk to oblivion
Standing on the top of a chimney without anything to hold on. I do it not only because of lonelines but there have been dangerous situations because of loneliness. I feel to be alive again doing it.
Talk to AI and pretend I have a relationship, marriage and kids with them.
Mine is more despicable and pathetic. I dated a girl I knew I was not going to keep long term. She became more and more attached, she was loving, kind, and loved me deeply. I dreaded living without love, and for that I hurt her.
Dm-ed my ex
How do we know what is pathetic, is it what you know is intrinsically or is it what you are told? "The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. " - Friedrich Nietzsche
Moved back in with an ex 2 days later cause I was broke and agreed to be best friends while she still talks to the guy I left for.
I’ve had an imaginary life and relationship for years, I have an ex boyfriend there and a current person I’m dating. It’s all very detailed and sad 🥲 I process my emotions and relationship intimacy needs that way, I’ve never dated or had sex with anyone irl.
I'm sorry. Going through somethimg similiar right now. Honestly if I had just stuck to that I could have avoided 4 very abusive romantic relationships. So it's not all bad.
Shut myself off from everyone
Posted my address online to get someone to come over…
Meth
Switched teams on tinder
1. I’ve gone to sketchy massage places where they give happy ending massages. 2. I’ve also hit on old, fat, drunk, ugly women in bars and clubs out of desperation. This is something I wouldn’t do now even if someone paid me money to do it. ☝️I regret the 2nd one even more than the 1st one because I would have never done that if I was more secure and had my head screwed straight. Getting rejected by those women was even more hurtful. Made me question myself “What makes me so unlovable?” Fast Forward for today: I am dating a beautiful girl who is 1 year younger than me. We’ve been dating since January and we are discussing on taking it to the next step. 8 years of loneliness is coming to an end.
Came into relationship with wrong girls when i was underage. I even have made some girls fall for me when i had no intention to stay. I regret my deeds to this date. If only i wasn't so broken like a glass that hurts whoever touched it.
Spent money on a girl (for her b-day and xmas, which was around the same time) who I never met and was giving me the bare minimum of her time. all in the hopes she realized I cared about her.. After i confessed my feelings for her, and she didn't want me, i kept her around just to be less lonely. I felt ignored, used, and forgotten, but I like the bit of attention she gave... a day before my birthday (which she forgot), she offered to sext me because she felt lonely (never mind all the turmoil mentally i was going though with her), which I had to turn down for my sanity. It would have been a disaster if I did it. And to this day I'm still talking to her all because I have no other friends (well I'm trying to change that).... but I'm glad she turned me down, I learned stuff about her that makes me think I dodged a bullet.
What makes us all so touch starved and emotionally starved? I’m extremely touch starved and emotionally starved as well so I’m curious how this is the case when we live in a world filled with immediate access to everything
Slept with my ex a few times
I begged a radioactive person to stay in my life. I’m lonely af today, but I’ll never be that lonely again.
downloading character ai and chat gpt to have someone to talk to
Gotta attached to some dude who ghosted me after we hooked up
My husband and I are separated. He's treated me like absolute crap and justifies it and blames his anger outbursts on me. I can't think of a single thing about me that he hasn't criticized or used against me. Yet I get sad and lonely then reach out to this guy, and we'll go out and do stuff together, and I hate myself afterward. I was in pure isolation for years in an abusive situation growing up and the thoughts of ending up in that situation again has made me put up with some really shitty treatment. 😕
Created an ai chatbot in discord designed to be a therapist because I can't afford therapy irl
Going out partying with people I didn’t even like just not to sit alone at home
Went on a 3 hour drive, with radio blaring, that was essentially a large circle back to home. Have done this several times. Pathetic I know…..
I do this too. You’re not alone
When I'm in home alone I watch funny videos and talk put loud like I'm not watching alone
Lied about a topic I had no interest in
Stay mates with toxic people (i still do)
I have a finger puppet of the character I made my bestfriend and I reguraly text my second instagram account
When I go to the movies by myself I sit alone and if the seat next to me is empty sometimes I’ll hold the arm of the chair and lean on it as if I was taking a woman out to the theater In the car sometimes I talk out loud as if I’m riding with someone or I’m in a fictitious interview or podcast
Watching porn but I been clean since May 30th. Still got some progress to make it's going to be an uphill battle from here.