>I go to the gym and see guys walk up to each other & just instantly hit it off and act like “bros”
That's unrelated to the male loneliness epidemic. Guys will act *like* they are friends with other strangers guys. They are still very much strangers. You don't know each other's name, you don't have contact informations, you should not even assume your path will ever cross again... After the gym those people will commute home on on their respective side and will be alone without friends, without dates, without anyone checking on them.. Acting friendly doesn't even mean they like each other or are interested in becoming friends (anything else than "not strangers").
Trust me when I say, it’s not about what’s seen as what is NOT seen.
There’s probably a dozen lonely young and old men that have just as much social issues and loneliness as you may or may not have. This isn’t to discount female loneliness (we’re all suffering) but to claim what you see as the only anecdotal evidence I find …. silly?
You won’t find those facing the worst of loneliness in social settings, and those you do see may just be invisible (I see lots of men walking alone including myself here in a big city). Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there (especially with the gender gap of suicide successes being what it is)
FWIW, I'm a female older than you, and I had a similar problem when I was around your age. Unfortunately I don't really have any good advice for making friends easily. I'm still in the same situation now. It does get harder once you're out of school. Just know that you're not the only one. It's good you go out to social events to be around people. I'm a big believer in that. It really helps keep you in good spirits. ☺️
I sometimes think (most) women have an easier time making friends, or at least friendships that are more substantial or meaningful. I agree with the person who said that guys can seem real chummy and friendly with other random guys, but that's a pretty superficial way of relating to each other. Most of the time they won't even see each other again.
27 y/o guy here. It’s definitely easy for us (myself, at least) to approach other men and have a quick chat. As far as anything fulfilling goes, it’s a tough road for us, too.
Yeah like male loneliness is about us having difficulty with romantic relationships. Friendships are easy but nothing compared to a romantic relationship, hence the loneliness (this is a sign to give up and go kiss your bro)
"male loneliness" is not about romantic relationships, but about generalized social isolation. Stop spreading this nonsense, misinformation makes the issue worse.
I have to disagree with that. Friendships can fulfill similar purposes to romantic relationships, minus the physical intimacy. It's only that men are often afraid of actually opening up to their "bros", while women are generally much more open with each other.
I also disagree that romantic relationships are somehow superior to friendships. The best friendships last a lifetime, most relationships only last a few years. There are levels to friendships.
41 m. As an outgoing person I’m actually quite introverted. Weird. I find it hard to meet people mainly due to trust. I don’t really care to get to know someone out of fear they’re gonna turn out to be not genuine or let me down in some way.
Broke up with my now ex over a year ago and haven’t met anyone since, moved across the country and the only people I’ve met are the people I work with. Every other moment of the day when I’m not at work I’m just lonely, at least my cats love me lol.
That is not what is meant by the term "male loneliness".
The term is used to describe a general social state in which men find themselves isolated with no particularly accessible avenues to social connection.
I personally suspect it's linked to societies that only value men as money trees and not whole, functioning people.
Ya I can see how that's a lil confusing. I can't speak for all men, but for me the loneliness is romantic so my struggle comes with finding a partner. Making same sex friends has always been easy, and at this point in my life I have enough of them. My terrible loneliness is never having a romantic partner and the fear that I never will. Hope this gives you some understanding on male loneliness from one lonely male
to be honest from a man’s perspective, as someone who deals w a lot of social anxiety and doesn’t like to go out, idk what it is about guys but its really easy to just act like “one of the guys”. i dint think it takes a lot of effort (for myself personally) to idk lets say im at a coffee shop and a random dude asks to sit by me and ends up starting a convo w me. for me i think in general guys dont care to know too much or share too much, so when it comes to small talk, i think its a bit more comfortable in a sense.
because on the opposite side, making plans w friends or knowing im going to something where ill see people i know, is really fucking scary to me. and i tend to leave those places or events early and without say bc of it. but in a random place, w people who dont know and i dont know them, for some reason that idea itself is pretty comforting.
i will say tho that no matter what i have a hard time talking to girls lol
I’m 48m and have always found it just as difficult to talk to other guys as it is to approach women. I know I’m not the typical Aussie guy, so I have never been anyone’s “bro” or “mate”.
38M and most of my loneliness is in terms of dating. I have a couple of close male friends I hang out and some male coworkers that I shoot the shit with. I’m pretty good when it comes to a friend group.
A romantic partner is the part of my life that I am sorely lacking, so that’s where my loneliness comes from.
Male loneliness is deeply tied to both being romantically and sexually unsuccessful while for women it means they struggle forming friendships only. Women are juggernauts when it comes to the dating and hookup game, having easy access to dating and sex. Loneliness for women is only about struggling with forming platonic bonds while for men it’s struggling forming platonic and romantic bonds most of the time. Basically, a lonely man faces loneliness in every aspect of his life while a lonely woman only has it constrained to the platonic space. You can see this on this sub. Nearly all the men are perpetually single or virgins while the women here always mention a BF, husband, or some situationship.
People make it out to be like it's some sort of competition when it's not. Anyone can be lonely. A study shows that guys are typically lonelier and another shows that older women are lonelier, but neither are by a large margin
I'm not sure what u/Longjumping-shift318 is talking about, but ime:
- most men aren't very socially sophisticated, so making friends of these shells is difficult. I don't know why this is, but suspect it's social conditioning.
- as a man, I'm not viewed as a person. I'm viewed as a source of money, or a maintenance worker, or a threat, or a scapegoat, or an inconvenient idiot... but not as a person with complex person with thoughts and feelings.
- ... I'm not sure what it is.... women seem much more likely to form social networks. Even the most awkward, "lonely" women I know have a whole web of people within easy reach. I am 6/6/6 adjacent but if I wanted to hang out and play a game of Scrabble I'd be out of luck or if I died tonight I wouldn't be discovered for a week or more. This isn't due to lack of trying to build connections... somehow all attempts just fail. I don't know why this is.
>most men aren't very socially sophisticated, so making friends of these shells is difficult. I don't know why this is, but suspect it's social conditioning.
Maybe it's a cultural thing, but in my country, guys are much more socially sophisticated than women. It takes almost no effort to talk, spend time with others or join a random guys family grill party. At gym I can talk and interact with any other guy, join their sets. People ask me all the time if I wanna join in.
On the street random people often greet me and ask me how I'm doing, if I'm out with my dog they ask if they can go on walk with me.
If I'm eating alone at a restaurant, I can just join some group of guys and sit down and talk to then like friends, if I sit alone, guys usually come and sit next to me and talk.
>a man, I'm not viewed as a person. I'm viewed as a source of money, or a maintenance worker, or a threat, or a scapegoat, or an inconvenient idiot... but not as a person with complex person with thoughts and feelings.
A few things, that's the whole tiktok / gen z gen meme people. If they have that view, they're not worth it.
Secondly, never seen anyone with that view before in dating, think it's mainly in America?
Thirdly, loneliness and having a partner isn't the same at all, can be lonely with a partner
>... I'm not sure what it is.... women seem much more likely to form social networks. Even the most awkward, "lonely" women I know have a whole web of people within easy reach
If I'm walking in the street alone, good chance I'd get "adopted" by a random group of guys and added into their cycle. Ofc depends on time of day, location but overall if I'm in the shopping / restaurant areas in the weekend, I usually get invited over
Maybe we're just used to really different cultures?
What country are you from?? To me, your experience sounds like it's from a fictional world. I live in the eastern United States, in the general region of Washington DC.
If you are young and female, you hold social currency and privilege you may not be aware of. But, apparently your society is like a fantasy to me, so I cannot speculate much about the dynamics.
I'm my experience, unless one has exquisite social or manipulation skills, joining anyone for anything would be viewed with suspicion. If I sat down with a strange woman, she'd probably tell me to leave or make an excuse to leave herself. I've seen women who find themselves alone near a strange man in a parking lot run away.
That is not a meme, that is my life. A poignant example of this was the breakdown of my marriage: At home, my wife was violent and cruel to me and my children and pretended to be a normal functioning person in public. When I tried to talk to anyone about it, I was dismissed as in less progressive areas of the country women are not generally considered to ever be the aggressors. This situation eventually grew into a divorce. By that time, she had learned she could lie to friends, family, religious leaders, police, and in court and be believed. I have spoken plain truth in court in response to false accusations of violence and have been told by a judge that I am lying. This has happened on several occasions. It's surreal. I have lost all faith in my society, from this and other experiences. I am not a full person in my society, I am an inconvenient machine with lesser rights.
I have similar experiences to you and I’m autistic. I go to the gym alone and watch everyone else make friends and such.
But everyone thinks I’m mean. They genuinely look scared of me sometimes.
Its definitely not a gender issue. Maybe its more prevalent for women but i definitely cannot strike up a conversation and become friends with anyone. This is actually pretty funny to me cause from my perspective it seems like women have an easier time making friends. Im extremely mentally ill though so what tf do i know
Idk. 28m here and at the gym i'm usually too focused on my sets to talk to anyone new. most of my friends these days come from work, but it's definitely hard to have real deep friendships or anything. I think that struggle is genderless, but i remain optimistic that the sun will come out some day lol
I think this is a pretty situational observation because some men are much more social/casual than others. I’ve been going to the gym (a Planet Fitness which is a more casual setting) pretty regularly for the past 7 months and go about twice a week, so I also notice how much some people socialize because I don’t at all, lol, and a lot of other people that I’ve recognized as solo gym goers don’t socialize much either. That being said, I’m introverted and have never been someone to chat up strangers in any setting.
I think only two guys have said much of anything to me and one was a guy joking that I was tall and must be the person he always has to raise the seat after, and the other was a guy pointing out how to use a machine. Otherwise, I’ll see most of the same people talk with one another, but not really approach other people. I’d say this goes for men and women where you can tell who are strangers and who are acquaintances from school or somewhere else.
I relate so hard. Ive always been super disconnected with people in general. Then i tend to cling too hard to the one person i do connect with. Till they suffocate and leave.
Just because you see 2 guys instantly become buds at random places, doesn't mean they are friends. I'll talk to random bros all the time, but almost never do I make plans to go hang out with them.
See how many people commented on your post, and how many probably flooded your DMs. If I made a similar post but said I was male, I might get 1 or 2 nice comments and that would be it. No one gives a shit about men. That’s just how it is, I don’t care about other men either. It’s hard for some men to accept that the world is indifferent to their existence. I’ve accepted it, I don’t know why I’m different or why I don’t fit in anywhere but it’s reality, nothing will change so I’ve just embraced being the lone wolf.
Maybe go up to a guy and greet him, talk, ask how he's doing. 99/100 men would be very happy to talk, msybe just put a bit of efford into it and don't wait for others to approach you.
I can't speak for everyman but I can speak for myself I go places and interact with other guys because I have either been their long enough to have met some of these people and learn their names want to make small talk want to know something I just interact with respect I'm open to banter and most guys I meet have a sense of humor , I can run into a complete stranger notice they have on some shoes I like or I ask someone how many minutes they have on the treadmill it could lead into a small conversation or a joke and I'm open to that this however does not extend past the place these interactions happen me and the dude who's name I know from the gym will not hang out on the weekends and go to the bar I will drink alone and watch scarface he will drink alone and watch Rambo and Monday morning well talk about our time away from the gym while training or we won't the loneliness never truly goes away I've attempted to make plans and make friends but like you said in your post they fade out maybe they last a week maybe they last a year but in the end it's just me again I'm 25 any friends I've had were gone 10 years ago ever since I realized that as a man actual friends are a rarity most I ask for now is someone who won't stab me in the back the second it benefits them and now even that is asking for a bit much funny enough I think back on all the friends I've had the most loyal friend I ever had was a girl named Danielle maybe if most of us guys would try to befriend more girls than we try to fuck we might not be so lonely
Same! like dude, everywhere i go i see groups of guys together, on the gym they all talk and help each other out, in my class all guys are talkative with multiple friends while all the girls (including me) are shy and stay mostly alone. Male loneliness must be about dating, because indeed seems more hard for men, but when it's about friendships women seems way more lonely.
Wtf? when did i invalidate someone in this comment? I never said guys can't get lonely or anything. And some women are invalidating guys experiences so they can have a taste of their own medicine, so they can see how frustrating is having someone thinking your problems doesn't matter only because of your gender.
When i said "must be about dating" i meant to say that i *think* it is, not that actually is. I'm not justfying anything, i know is wrong invalidating people's experiences, i just can understand why some women do it because we are tired of guys saying we can't feel sad or alone, or any other negative feeling. Guys think women are supposed to be cheerful positive beings happy with their lives 24/7. When we show any negative emotion we are seen as bitches or "prob on her period" it's like we can't ever feel anything other than happiness.
Reddit for example is filled with assholes. I prob should quit this hellhole. I already hate being a woman, don't need to see any more hate posts about my gender.
You're being downvoted - at least partially - because you have it reversed.
"male loneliness" is not about romantic relationships, but about generalized social isolation including a lack of friendships.
If this sub is to be believed then it's definitely about dating. It's so weird for me, because I'm a guy and I've never had a huge issue with dating, but finding solid friendships - especially with other guys - has always been the most difficult thing for me.
I feel men complain more about being lonely. While some of us women just keep it to ourselves. But then again some unattractive men are really suffering
There isnt really a difference. I think people will say it is based maybe on there perspective or world views. Unfortuantly they will believe these are facts when in fwct it could be as simple as they are in the wrong social situation for people they get along with. Humans are complex creatures with lots of differences. You will be surprised how a chnage of social situation can make it easy for one person and harder for another. Yet you will read people here stating they personal findings as fact when they will forget about relativity and that they have a small sample size. Unfortuantly this is how most humans will create there opinions based on. So just take it with a grain of salt as mist people are speaking from personal experience, rather than from a factual standpoint.
Usually when people talk about "male loneliness" they mean it as girls have it "easy" due to a lot of guys typically giving them attention or hitting on them and so on.
For reference i dont share that view, nor do i see the point in the gender war.
As a guy, id definitely say how you describe strangers acting like bros with guys, can confirm in my case at least, with strangers just walking up and start talking like theyve been friends forever. Not counting awkward, shy and so on.
Online: i can just send a guy a monkey / ape eating a banana gif and we straight up goes to bro phase
Irl: depends on the place, had a lot at gym talk to me out of the blue like bros, giving tips if they see i do something wrong, ask if we wanna do workout together, and overall approaching. Generally other places could be like just say "whats up bro" and then it evolves.
In the past when friends brought a new guy with us, we'd find out one of the guys "found" him on the street and knew him for 10 minutes and entered the group.
Just my view and experience based on the culture
>I go to the gym and see guys walk up to each other & just instantly hit it off and act like “bros” That's unrelated to the male loneliness epidemic. Guys will act *like* they are friends with other strangers guys. They are still very much strangers. You don't know each other's name, you don't have contact informations, you should not even assume your path will ever cross again... After the gym those people will commute home on on their respective side and will be alone without friends, without dates, without anyone checking on them.. Acting friendly doesn't even mean they like each other or are interested in becoming friends (anything else than "not strangers").
Well said.
I have been trying to reach you
200% accurate
Trust me when I say, it’s not about what’s seen as what is NOT seen. There’s probably a dozen lonely young and old men that have just as much social issues and loneliness as you may or may not have. This isn’t to discount female loneliness (we’re all suffering) but to claim what you see as the only anecdotal evidence I find …. silly? You won’t find those facing the worst of loneliness in social settings, and those you do see may just be invisible (I see lots of men walking alone including myself here in a big city). Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there (especially with the gender gap of suicide successes being what it is)
FWIW, I'm a female older than you, and I had a similar problem when I was around your age. Unfortunately I don't really have any good advice for making friends easily. I'm still in the same situation now. It does get harder once you're out of school. Just know that you're not the only one. It's good you go out to social events to be around people. I'm a big believer in that. It really helps keep you in good spirits. ☺️ I sometimes think (most) women have an easier time making friends, or at least friendships that are more substantial or meaningful. I agree with the person who said that guys can seem real chummy and friendly with other random guys, but that's a pretty superficial way of relating to each other. Most of the time they won't even see each other again.
27 y/o guy here. It’s definitely easy for us (myself, at least) to approach other men and have a quick chat. As far as anything fulfilling goes, it’s a tough road for us, too.
Yeah like male loneliness is about us having difficulty with romantic relationships. Friendships are easy but nothing compared to a romantic relationship, hence the loneliness (this is a sign to give up and go kiss your bro)
I'd say acquaintances are easier for SOME men. Myself excepted. But real, lasting friendships are hard. Probably for everyone.
"male loneliness" is not about romantic relationships, but about generalized social isolation. Stop spreading this nonsense, misinformation makes the issue worse.
I have to disagree with that. Friendships can fulfill similar purposes to romantic relationships, minus the physical intimacy. It's only that men are often afraid of actually opening up to their "bros", while women are generally much more open with each other. I also disagree that romantic relationships are somehow superior to friendships. The best friendships last a lifetime, most relationships only last a few years. There are levels to friendships.
Doesn’t feel easy to me
41 m. As an outgoing person I’m actually quite introverted. Weird. I find it hard to meet people mainly due to trust. I don’t really care to get to know someone out of fear they’re gonna turn out to be not genuine or let me down in some way. Broke up with my now ex over a year ago and haven’t met anyone since, moved across the country and the only people I’ve met are the people I work with. Every other moment of the day when I’m not at work I’m just lonely, at least my cats love me lol.
Most of the lonely guys aren't out at gyms or concerts... But yes it can easily affect women just as much as men.
If you’re basing male loneliness on guys at the gym you’re probably looking in the wrong place lol
I think what they mean by Male Loneliness is they can’t get a gf/wife. Almost every post on here is men craving that
That is not what is meant by the term "male loneliness". The term is used to describe a general social state in which men find themselves isolated with no particularly accessible avenues to social connection. I personally suspect it's linked to societies that only value men as money trees and not whole, functioning people.
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I’m specifically speaking about what I have seen being in this sub. Maybe, I haven’t been in here long enough to see other group of men in this sub
True but not having a partner or wanting it, dosent mean loneliness. Can easily be lonely in a relationship
That’s true as well
Ya I can see how that's a lil confusing. I can't speak for all men, but for me the loneliness is romantic so my struggle comes with finding a partner. Making same sex friends has always been easy, and at this point in my life I have enough of them. My terrible loneliness is never having a romantic partner and the fear that I never will. Hope this gives you some understanding on male loneliness from one lonely male
28M here. Been lonely for quite a while now.
to be honest from a man’s perspective, as someone who deals w a lot of social anxiety and doesn’t like to go out, idk what it is about guys but its really easy to just act like “one of the guys”. i dint think it takes a lot of effort (for myself personally) to idk lets say im at a coffee shop and a random dude asks to sit by me and ends up starting a convo w me. for me i think in general guys dont care to know too much or share too much, so when it comes to small talk, i think its a bit more comfortable in a sense. because on the opposite side, making plans w friends or knowing im going to something where ill see people i know, is really fucking scary to me. and i tend to leave those places or events early and without say bc of it. but in a random place, w people who dont know and i dont know them, for some reason that idea itself is pretty comforting. i will say tho that no matter what i have a hard time talking to girls lol
I’m 48m and have always found it just as difficult to talk to other guys as it is to approach women. I know I’m not the typical Aussie guy, so I have never been anyone’s “bro” or “mate”.
38M and most of my loneliness is in terms of dating. I have a couple of close male friends I hang out and some male coworkers that I shoot the shit with. I’m pretty good when it comes to a friend group. A romantic partner is the part of my life that I am sorely lacking, so that’s where my loneliness comes from.
Male loneliness is deeply tied to both being romantically and sexually unsuccessful while for women it means they struggle forming friendships only. Women are juggernauts when it comes to the dating and hookup game, having easy access to dating and sex. Loneliness for women is only about struggling with forming platonic bonds while for men it’s struggling forming platonic and romantic bonds most of the time. Basically, a lonely man faces loneliness in every aspect of his life while a lonely woman only has it constrained to the platonic space. You can see this on this sub. Nearly all the men are perpetually single or virgins while the women here always mention a BF, husband, or some situationship.
Walk up to women at the gym and I bet you would be like homegirls in no time
People make it out to be like it's some sort of competition when it's not. Anyone can be lonely. A study shows that guys are typically lonelier and another shows that older women are lonelier, but neither are by a large margin
It’s way harder for us (men), it’s not even a contest
How's it harder?
I'm not sure what u/Longjumping-shift318 is talking about, but ime: - most men aren't very socially sophisticated, so making friends of these shells is difficult. I don't know why this is, but suspect it's social conditioning. - as a man, I'm not viewed as a person. I'm viewed as a source of money, or a maintenance worker, or a threat, or a scapegoat, or an inconvenient idiot... but not as a person with complex person with thoughts and feelings. - ... I'm not sure what it is.... women seem much more likely to form social networks. Even the most awkward, "lonely" women I know have a whole web of people within easy reach. I am 6/6/6 adjacent but if I wanted to hang out and play a game of Scrabble I'd be out of luck or if I died tonight I wouldn't be discovered for a week or more. This isn't due to lack of trying to build connections... somehow all attempts just fail. I don't know why this is.
>most men aren't very socially sophisticated, so making friends of these shells is difficult. I don't know why this is, but suspect it's social conditioning. Maybe it's a cultural thing, but in my country, guys are much more socially sophisticated than women. It takes almost no effort to talk, spend time with others or join a random guys family grill party. At gym I can talk and interact with any other guy, join their sets. People ask me all the time if I wanna join in. On the street random people often greet me and ask me how I'm doing, if I'm out with my dog they ask if they can go on walk with me. If I'm eating alone at a restaurant, I can just join some group of guys and sit down and talk to then like friends, if I sit alone, guys usually come and sit next to me and talk. >a man, I'm not viewed as a person. I'm viewed as a source of money, or a maintenance worker, or a threat, or a scapegoat, or an inconvenient idiot... but not as a person with complex person with thoughts and feelings. A few things, that's the whole tiktok / gen z gen meme people. If they have that view, they're not worth it. Secondly, never seen anyone with that view before in dating, think it's mainly in America? Thirdly, loneliness and having a partner isn't the same at all, can be lonely with a partner >... I'm not sure what it is.... women seem much more likely to form social networks. Even the most awkward, "lonely" women I know have a whole web of people within easy reach If I'm walking in the street alone, good chance I'd get "adopted" by a random group of guys and added into their cycle. Ofc depends on time of day, location but overall if I'm in the shopping / restaurant areas in the weekend, I usually get invited over Maybe we're just used to really different cultures?
What country are you from?? To me, your experience sounds like it's from a fictional world. I live in the eastern United States, in the general region of Washington DC. If you are young and female, you hold social currency and privilege you may not be aware of. But, apparently your society is like a fantasy to me, so I cannot speculate much about the dynamics. I'm my experience, unless one has exquisite social or manipulation skills, joining anyone for anything would be viewed with suspicion. If I sat down with a strange woman, she'd probably tell me to leave or make an excuse to leave herself. I've seen women who find themselves alone near a strange man in a parking lot run away. That is not a meme, that is my life. A poignant example of this was the breakdown of my marriage: At home, my wife was violent and cruel to me and my children and pretended to be a normal functioning person in public. When I tried to talk to anyone about it, I was dismissed as in less progressive areas of the country women are not generally considered to ever be the aggressors. This situation eventually grew into a divorce. By that time, she had learned she could lie to friends, family, religious leaders, police, and in court and be believed. I have spoken plain truth in court in response to false accusations of violence and have been told by a judge that I am lying. This has happened on several occasions. It's surreal. I have lost all faith in my society, from this and other experiences. I am not a full person in my society, I am an inconvenient machine with lesser rights.
I have similar experiences to you and I’m autistic. I go to the gym alone and watch everyone else make friends and such. But everyone thinks I’m mean. They genuinely look scared of me sometimes.
Its definitely not a gender issue. Maybe its more prevalent for women but i definitely cannot strike up a conversation and become friends with anyone. This is actually pretty funny to me cause from my perspective it seems like women have an easier time making friends. Im extremely mentally ill though so what tf do i know
Idk. 28m here and at the gym i'm usually too focused on my sets to talk to anyone new. most of my friends these days come from work, but it's definitely hard to have real deep friendships or anything. I think that struggle is genderless, but i remain optimistic that the sun will come out some day lol
It depends on who you are and how you’re looking for people and socializing, and you can develop your social skills more.
Hey
I think this is a pretty situational observation because some men are much more social/casual than others. I’ve been going to the gym (a Planet Fitness which is a more casual setting) pretty regularly for the past 7 months and go about twice a week, so I also notice how much some people socialize because I don’t at all, lol, and a lot of other people that I’ve recognized as solo gym goers don’t socialize much either. That being said, I’m introverted and have never been someone to chat up strangers in any setting. I think only two guys have said much of anything to me and one was a guy joking that I was tall and must be the person he always has to raise the seat after, and the other was a guy pointing out how to use a machine. Otherwise, I’ll see most of the same people talk with one another, but not really approach other people. I’d say this goes for men and women where you can tell who are strangers and who are acquaintances from school or somewhere else.
I relate so hard. Ive always been super disconnected with people in general. Then i tend to cling too hard to the one person i do connect with. Till they suffocate and leave.
Just because you see 2 guys instantly become buds at random places, doesn't mean they are friends. I'll talk to random bros all the time, but almost never do I make plans to go hang out with them.
Gender wars even being fought on this sub I guess. Guys complain about finding a romantic partner. Everyone has issues making normal friends.
See how many people commented on your post, and how many probably flooded your DMs. If I made a similar post but said I was male, I might get 1 or 2 nice comments and that would be it. No one gives a shit about men. That’s just how it is, I don’t care about other men either. It’s hard for some men to accept that the world is indifferent to their existence. I’ve accepted it, I don’t know why I’m different or why I don’t fit in anywhere but it’s reality, nothing will change so I’ve just embraced being the lone wolf.
I wish I could find fellow lonely girls here
Maybe go up to a guy and greet him, talk, ask how he's doing. 99/100 men would be very happy to talk, msybe just put a bit of efford into it and don't wait for others to approach you.
I can't speak for everyman but I can speak for myself I go places and interact with other guys because I have either been their long enough to have met some of these people and learn their names want to make small talk want to know something I just interact with respect I'm open to banter and most guys I meet have a sense of humor , I can run into a complete stranger notice they have on some shoes I like or I ask someone how many minutes they have on the treadmill it could lead into a small conversation or a joke and I'm open to that this however does not extend past the place these interactions happen me and the dude who's name I know from the gym will not hang out on the weekends and go to the bar I will drink alone and watch scarface he will drink alone and watch Rambo and Monday morning well talk about our time away from the gym while training or we won't the loneliness never truly goes away I've attempted to make plans and make friends but like you said in your post they fade out maybe they last a week maybe they last a year but in the end it's just me again I'm 25 any friends I've had were gone 10 years ago ever since I realized that as a man actual friends are a rarity most I ask for now is someone who won't stab me in the back the second it benefits them and now even that is asking for a bit much funny enough I think back on all the friends I've had the most loyal friend I ever had was a girl named Danielle maybe if most of us guys would try to befriend more girls than we try to fuck we might not be so lonely
Same! like dude, everywhere i go i see groups of guys together, on the gym they all talk and help each other out, in my class all guys are talkative with multiple friends while all the girls (including me) are shy and stay mostly alone. Male loneliness must be about dating, because indeed seems more hard for men, but when it's about friendships women seems way more lonely.
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Wtf? when did i invalidate someone in this comment? I never said guys can't get lonely or anything. And some women are invalidating guys experiences so they can have a taste of their own medicine, so they can see how frustrating is having someone thinking your problems doesn't matter only because of your gender.
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When i said "must be about dating" i meant to say that i *think* it is, not that actually is. I'm not justfying anything, i know is wrong invalidating people's experiences, i just can understand why some women do it because we are tired of guys saying we can't feel sad or alone, or any other negative feeling. Guys think women are supposed to be cheerful positive beings happy with their lives 24/7. When we show any negative emotion we are seen as bitches or "prob on her period" it's like we can't ever feel anything other than happiness.
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Reddit for example is filled with assholes. I prob should quit this hellhole. I already hate being a woman, don't need to see any more hate posts about my gender.
And i'm being downvoted for saying facts. Yay!
You're being downvoted - at least partially - because you have it reversed. "male loneliness" is not about romantic relationships, but about generalized social isolation including a lack of friendships.
I already said i just TOUGHT it was, because most men do have friendships, they only don't have partners.
I'd love to see actual numbers, but I suspect that in the U.S. more men have a girlfriend/wife/partner than have a friend group.
If this sub is to be believed then it's definitely about dating. It's so weird for me, because I'm a guy and I've never had a huge issue with dating, but finding solid friendships - especially with other guys - has always been the most difficult thing for me.
This sub is wrong. r/incels is banned and unfortunately they all came here.
I feel men complain more about being lonely. While some of us women just keep it to ourselves. But then again some unattractive men are really suffering
Dm me we can b friends
There isnt really a difference. I think people will say it is based maybe on there perspective or world views. Unfortuantly they will believe these are facts when in fwct it could be as simple as they are in the wrong social situation for people they get along with. Humans are complex creatures with lots of differences. You will be surprised how a chnage of social situation can make it easy for one person and harder for another. Yet you will read people here stating they personal findings as fact when they will forget about relativity and that they have a small sample size. Unfortuantly this is how most humans will create there opinions based on. So just take it with a grain of salt as mist people are speaking from personal experience, rather than from a factual standpoint.
Usually when people talk about "male loneliness" they mean it as girls have it "easy" due to a lot of guys typically giving them attention or hitting on them and so on. For reference i dont share that view, nor do i see the point in the gender war. As a guy, id definitely say how you describe strangers acting like bros with guys, can confirm in my case at least, with strangers just walking up and start talking like theyve been friends forever. Not counting awkward, shy and so on. Online: i can just send a guy a monkey / ape eating a banana gif and we straight up goes to bro phase Irl: depends on the place, had a lot at gym talk to me out of the blue like bros, giving tips if they see i do something wrong, ask if we wanna do workout together, and overall approaching. Generally other places could be like just say "whats up bro" and then it evolves. In the past when friends brought a new guy with us, we'd find out one of the guys "found" him on the street and knew him for 10 minutes and entered the group. Just my view and experience based on the culture