Because etymology.
In Quenya (Tolkien’s Elvish equivalent of Latin), Teleporno means “Silver Tall.” I’m guessing this was to compliment Galadriel’s golden aura and to reflect the Two Trees/Sun and Moon which are golden and silver, and female and male respectively.
Most of the Elvish words in LOTR are Sindarin, which was the more commonly spoken language. So Celeborn is his Sindarin name. Definitely for the best, too, because precise grammar or not, people are never not going to make jokes about someone with “porno” in their name.
Edit: Quenya: Telporno, Telerin: Teleporno, Sindarin: Celeborn
What's with these answers? Its obviously Denathors second son... what was his name again? You know the one who could never fill his brothers shoes. The one who Denathor wished had died instead. You know! The guy who needed to show his quality!
It's on the tip of my tongue. Something like... Stealomir? Maybe Takeomir? I can't quite remember, maybe I need to borrow a copy of the books to remind myself.
I also vote for Boromir’s younger less successful brother. I mean that guys kind of a loser, can’t even take Osgiliath back with a small group of tired and poorly prepared soldiers.
https://preview.redd.it/egjz6cgdf4ad1.jpeg?width=886&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=caf2434684a21fe5b4081ee247d9ce01c5ab9fce
They just said his name, and I already forgot it
https://preview.redd.it/ih7461cqf4ad1.png?width=262&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9460bdb15a241125396c459e568ef7adee1adaa4
Personification of "Whats your name"
Gothmog is about the same as well. He's the commander of the orcs in the siege of Minas Tirith, and interestingly is also played by Lawrence Makoare. Gothmog definitely has more lines than Lurtz.
I know him because of the LEGO LOTR game. For some reason, there are only two characters in the game only unlockable using cheat codes. One of them is Lurtz (Newborn) which I think is so banal that it's funny.
You can get regular Lurtz easily enough, but fresh-out-the-mud Lurtz? Nah that's too much for players to handle, we have to hide him away.
They are, but their names can be found in the books. Lurtz is a movie-only character, so his name has to be learned from credits, wikis or promotional materials
They’re in the tent when Elrond delivers Anduril reforged. ~~In the book iirc it’s Elrohir who delivers it~~
Edit: fake news, read below for actual facts
Just like the one ring, there's only one answer
https://preview.redd.it/zvu7l3mr06ad1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d6aee80c9cc0591cc0502c5ccb8dd59bf97a6d9e
OP said "you'll all vote Legolas" and **everybody** commented "obviously not, its Aragorn"
Then OP posted the next day "You thought it'd be legolas but it's Gollum!" somehow fucking it up in two ways at once.
Why we doin this when OP is just clowning on it
Yeah like, if Gollum is already used in the "hot one" category, then who gets to be the Gremlin? That could only be Gollum right? Getting ahead of myself but I was trying to think of serious answers.
My family's nickname for him was Potatoface
Wanted to figure out his actual name at one point and it took me like 25 minutes of skimming and cross referencing the omnibus to figure it out
Bonus points for being named after a balrog tbh
How is it the top voted response is Hama, who shows up and almost immediately dies? This MFer was in two of the movies, has a gratuitous, melodramatic death, and I'm not convinced they ever even say his name.
Hama is "whatever happened to that guy?"
Haldir is "oh yea, what was this fuckin guy's name?"
Éomer, horse lord of Rohan, dude gets asked his name by Gimli and rides to save helms deep and bodies a mumakil in return of the king but can never recall his name watching.
Smeagol? No, no, Not poor Smeagol. Smeagol hates nasty elf bread.Ach! No! You try to choke poor Smeagol. Dust and ashes, he can't eat that. He must starve. But Smeagol doesn't mind.Nice hobbits! Smeagol has promised. He will starve. He can't eat hobbits' food. He will starve. Poor thin Smeagol!
Galadriel's husband?
Celebrimbor? Edit for the next guy: yes I know his name is Celeborn.
Teleporno
Why Tolkien… whyyyy???
Because etymology. In Quenya (Tolkien’s Elvish equivalent of Latin), Teleporno means “Silver Tall.” I’m guessing this was to compliment Galadriel’s golden aura and to reflect the Two Trees/Sun and Moon which are golden and silver, and female and male respectively. Most of the Elvish words in LOTR are Sindarin, which was the more commonly spoken language. So Celeborn is his Sindarin name. Definitely for the best, too, because precise grammar or not, people are never not going to make jokes about someone with “porno” in their name. Edit: Quenya: Telporno, Telerin: Teleporno, Sindarin: Celeborn
He still decided to make 'porno' be part of the etymology
It's not. The word is parted in telep and orno, not tele and porno
So it's a helicopter situation?
helicopter = helico + pter
Based on the word pterodactyl the p in helicopter should be silent. Helicoter. Attercop!
Damn. I just thought 'porno' meant 'tail' for a sec, and liked it
I'm pretty sure "porno" wasn't a popular word when he wrote it.
That's what I'm thinking about. Like, I'm not gonna write the word cause someone will flip, but bundle of sticks.
Cerebralbimbo?
That’s the porn parody character.
the Teleporno parody character
Yell me, where is Gandalf? For I much desire to speak with him.
# I CAN NO LONGER SEE HIM FROM AFAR
HE FELL
Mr. Galadriel
M’ladriel
Just for ppl who only watched the movies
Nah ma this One for sure win
who?
Teleporno is his name
no thanks, I'm still working
What's with these answers? Its obviously Denathors second son... what was his name again? You know the one who could never fill his brothers shoes. The one who Denathor wished had died instead. You know! The guy who needed to show his quality!
You mean Souvenir?
Ah yes good ol Souvenir I wonder how's his wife
Last I heard she left him because he could never remember where he is. It ruined their honeymoon to Osgiliath
No, you're thinking of a gift you bring back with you when you come home from holiday. I'm pretty sure his name was Palantir.
No that's a crystal ball that let's you see things from afar. I think you mean his name was Chandelier
No that’s a fancy lighting fixture. You mean Cavalier.
Jacques souvenir, he was a burn victim, but he will be the best dunder mifflin manager that ever existed
Forgotamir? Whatamir? Whoamir?
Samsonite! I was way off!
He must be unlisted….
Remember when Boromir died And you said you wished it was me? Well, guess what? I am dead! Dead to you as can be!
I'm sorry Papa I never meant to hurt you I never meant to make you cry But tonight I'm cleanin' out my wardrobe
It's on the tip of my tongue. Something like... Stealomir? Maybe Takeomir? I can't quite remember, maybe I need to borrow a copy of the books to remind myself.
His name was Rob
Rob... Robert... Bob... Bobby... #*BOBBY B* ??
THE WHORE IS PREGNANT!
The fuck you doing here? Did /r/freefolk's containment get breached again? Damn Wildlings.
Where was his name when Westfold fell???
i actually wanted to post him but i seriously don't recall his name
I also vote for Boromir’s younger less successful brother. I mean that guys kind of a loser, can’t even take Osgiliath back with a small group of tired and poorly prepared soldiers.
No, that’s Boromir’s inferior friend that’s always hanging around. Boromir is such a fine person for taking pity on so useless a person.
The fat guy who eats a carrot in the first film. Whoever that is.
Gratuitous of Cameo
He's Italian?
Dude, that's Guillermo Del Toro.
Really?!?! I thought it was Steven Spielberg.
Maybe it was George Lucas
Dude, wasn't it Robert Zemeckis?
Stop joking around, it's obviously Woody Allen.
It was John Cinema. The inventor of movies
Maybe the real George Lucas was the friends we made along the way
 I love Guillermo!
Lay off him. Poor guy is dealing with never living up to his twin brother. Dude has his own ship and everything
How about their other brother who lives in Rohan? Good spear-throwing arm.
https://preview.redd.it/egjz6cgdf4ad1.jpeg?width=886&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=caf2434684a21fe5b4081ee247d9ce01c5ab9fce They just said his name, and I already forgot it
Hama! (I had to look it up, this is a good candidate)
Ah, so that is the father of the boy who has the "good sword" (according to Aragorn) at Helm's Deep?
Yes. The boy was Haleth and he probably died at Helms Deep.
Aragorn didn't care to check. "There is always hope."💀
#THEN I SHALL DIE AS ONE OF THEM
 The 300 Rohan soldiers after hearing eleven for the past 10 minutes ….
Probably. But alas, he was mauled by a warg and likely didn't survive.
Woah but he died during the wolf ambush, right? Damn, poor kid
That’s clearly Haleth son of Hathlthun
On a recent rewatch I actually took notice of his name but by now I needed to be reminded of it again
Shit I was gonna say Gamling then I remembered that's the other one
As a swede "gamling" will never not be funny, imagine being named oldie/old one
I'm sure in the book he is called Gamling the Old
Iirc in the book he *is* old
Such disrespect for Hama the Doorwarden of Meduseld. Edit: spelling
lol, his name is spelled “Hama”
Bruh you didn't even know his name.
True true, lol
I actually like Hama and still always forget his name.
He is mentioned alot in the books though
Legolas right? Frodo def didn’t know his name in the movies
Unbelievable this isn’t higher. He legit did the thing where you don’t know someone’s name but don’t wanna make it obvious lmao
A shadow and a threat has been growing in my mind. Something draws near, I can feel it.
I thought this would be the top comment for sure.
Yes! This is my vote, too. I watched the movies with my mom recently, and I had to choke back my giggles at that part
https://preview.redd.it/ih7461cqf4ad1.png?width=262&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9460bdb15a241125396c459e568ef7adee1adaa4 Personification of "Whats your name"
What is your favorite colour?
Blue...
No, yellow!
GREEEEEEEEAAAAAARGHHH!
No, wait...
AAARGH!
It's Filch obviously
Harry!
I believe his name is Walder Frey...
I will not stand for this Harry the Gatekeeper slander
Obviously Figwit. It was a meme for a reason
I had to do a search on him- seriously why is an elf named figwit 🙈
Old forum joke. Frodo Is Great, Who Is That?
theonering.net? I remember those days! All the debate over the Balrog's wings ;)
Because he was played by Brett from flight of the conchords.
https://preview.redd.it/l8bidody76ad1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=962648b4d0cafb182cc90877eeb34811d2ac3b7a
It's definitely a good thing they went with Brett ABC not Jemaine.
Brit? Yeah, Brett..,. Brit?
https://preview.redd.it/avt1nx11k6ad1.png?width=374&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3c2b501f88c0fa4850c3df4f56e74a5e3c0c85c2
my lady, where the fuck is thou going?
I came here to say Figwit. I didn't *know* I came here to say Figwit 'cause I had to go google the name after opening the thread.
I can't believe I had to scroll down to find this answer 😔
Théoden's son, who was killed in an orc ambush. Quite important for the storyline, yet not a bloody clue what his name is.
Theodred
More like Theodead, am I right?!
Too soon man, at least wait until Eowyn is done singing
I think better before she sings,… or makes some cooking stew attempts to cheer the morale up
Lurtz. He's as memborable as it gets, and yet his name is literally never mentioned in the movie at all
I think this is the answer. The most major character without a name I believe
Gothmog is about the same as well. He's the commander of the orcs in the siege of Minas Tirith, and interestingly is also played by Lawrence Makoare. Gothmog definitely has more lines than Lurtz.
Isn't that the orc they designed to look like harvey winestein?
Yes however Lurtz kills boromir
Yet Gothmog at least got mentioned by name in the book
I only know his name thanks to battle for middle earth 2.
I know him because of the LEGO LOTR game. For some reason, there are only two characters in the game only unlockable using cheat codes. One of them is Lurtz (Newborn) which I think is so banal that it's funny. You can get regular Lurtz easily enough, but fresh-out-the-mud Lurtz? Nah that's too much for players to handle, we have to hide him away.
Grishnakh and Ugluk are more quotable.
They are, but their names can be found in the books. Lurtz is a movie-only character, so his name has to be learned from credits, wikis or promotional materials
This one’s not a fair question, he had his own top trump card tho in the fellowship edition, it that’s not fame I don’t know what is!
Yes. Like I literally was trying to think, what was his name?
Legolas son of ...............
The Woodland Realm
We should leave now.
I think he got embarrassed
The dudes who play Elrond’s sons that are only in like two scenes.
He has sons?
Elladan and Elrohir
https://preview.redd.it/zm68wsa0n4ad1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7bf987ce875ec182005659293caa340f7b951426
What scenes? (Don't say the reforging scene)
Pretty sure they’re in the background of the council scene but other than that? iunno
They’re in the tent when Elrond delivers Anduril reforged. ~~In the book iirc it’s Elrohir who delivers it~~ Edit: fake news, read below for actual facts
In the books they were scouts and later traveled with Halbarad in the Grey Company, Aragorn left Rivendell with Andúril already reforged.
I misremembered. Thanks.
Grimbold
How can you ever forget the name of the man, who took his company right, after he passed the wall? He went forth, and feared no darkness!
Any Ent that isn’t Treebeard
You can't forget my boy Quickbeam
The witch king Name literally forgotten to time
Faramir’s Lieutenant https://preview.redd.it/doj5i8xis4ad1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=82472ea23c605498b7f93a3ad39995788b736af5
Just like the one ring, there's only one answer https://preview.redd.it/zvu7l3mr06ad1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d6aee80c9cc0591cc0502c5ccb8dd59bf97a6d9e
I'm not making this as a serious argument, but I think it would be very funny if we made this one Eowyn.
Eowyn disguised as a soldier because she actually adopted a pseudonym in the book and I can't for the life of me remember it.
Dernhelm
Dernhelm
"I know your face..." "..." "...?"
How did gollum win. I know for the joke n all but come on Aragorn is the hottest guy ever to exist.
It mustn't ask us. Not its business, no, gollum! It's losst, gollum, gollum, gollum!
Sentient
Remember the sentient sam bot that would actually respond to people? I miss that guy.
OP said "you'll all vote Legolas" and **everybody** commented "obviously not, its Aragorn" Then OP posted the next day "You thought it'd be legolas but it's Gollum!" somehow fucking it up in two ways at once. Why we doin this when OP is just clowning on it
Aragorn!
even legolas knows who it shouldve been
It was a Balrog of Morgoth. Of all elf-banes the most deadly, save the One who sits in the Dark Tower.
The rock and pool, is nice and cool, so juicy sweet. Our only wish, to catch a fish,so juicy sweet.
Seems like these are just OP's picks and not a vote. Aragorn clearly the hottest
Yeah like, if Gollum is already used in the "hot one" category, then who gets to be the Gremlin? That could only be Gollum right? Getting ahead of myself but I was trying to think of serious answers.
Grima maybe?
Aragorn was never hot enough to melt like my boy Gollum though
Come, Master.
Gollum thirsty?
Patience, patience, my love. First we must lead them to her.
He definetly is
It's a funny joke, but who is going to be the gremlin now?
Pippin?
Gothmog https://preview.redd.it/8s8ebllhc4ad1.jpeg?width=1617&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0979d316ea8dee0eef6ad8d90aa9592f4a8afe63
Gesundheit!
My family's nickname for him was Potatoface Wanted to figure out his actual name at one point and it took me like 25 minutes of skimming and cross referencing the omnibus to figure it out Bonus points for being named after a balrog tbh
When I was a child I used to call him "the pinky guy" lol
The elf guy that shows up at Helm's Deep and is given an overly-dramatic shot of his dead face.
Haldir!
Who doesn't know Haldir??? 😢
How is it the top voted response is Hama, who shows up and almost immediately dies? This MFer was in two of the movies, has a gratuitous, melodramatic death, and I'm not convinced they ever even say his name. Hama is "whatever happened to that guy?" Haldir is "oh yea, what was this fuckin guy's name?"
Aragorn directly adresses him with his name
I just watched that movie yesterday and immediately thought of him when I saw this thread.
What's his face... you know the one...
https://preview.redd.it/eokj7bsqh4ad1.jpeg?width=1725&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a4dca8a673c9460a98b282613cce9e707d0aa97f
Definitely that guy!!!!
Uhh what was his name again, the elf captain that stood with aragon in the battle of helms deep..?
Éomer, horse lord of Rohan, dude gets asked his name by Gimli and rides to save helms deep and bodies a mumakil in return of the king but can never recall his name watching.
treebeard (his real name though)
His real name is actually Fangorn
Figwit
*"My other kid"* -Denethor.
Smeagol: we forgot the taste of bread... the sound of trees... the softness of the wind. We even forgot our own name.
Smeagol? No, no, Not poor Smeagol. Smeagol hates nasty elf bread.Ach! No! You try to choke poor Smeagol. Dust and ashes, he can't eat that. He must starve. But Smeagol doesn't mind.Nice hobbits! Smeagol has promised. He will starve. He can't eat hobbits' food. He will starve. Poor thin Smeagol!
Butterbur
I always forget Karl Urbans character
What was the blond younger dude in Rohan called? Was that Eomer?
Uhhhh what was his name guys? You know which one
Prince Imrahil
Karl Urban’s character. What was his name again?
You give my your name Horsemaster, and I shall give you mine.