It's amazing how the same "12 inch sub" can have a totally different meaning by changing small contextual details. It means something totally different on Twitter and on Grindr.
I love the idea of someone taking a whole speaker system on the plane with them. Imagine halfway through your flight you just start hearing “Sail” loudly from the back row.
But...he could've just taken his time eating and take the sub with him on board. I have never flown with an airline that forbids people from taking food or drinks with them onto the plane
that's just disrespectful to everyone on board though. I can't stand seafood smells. A sub isn't really smelly. Maybe if it is tuna or something, but still not nearly as bad as a tray of lobsters and crabs.
Yup, i remember being "late" for my flight by about 10 minutes (unexpected security delays & piss poor planning on my part), but I achieved inner peace knowing I was the last boarding group. I made it to my gate with plenty of time to spare and piss.
At the airport I went to for recent travel, a man arrived at the gate just as the first group, “Group A,” was boarding the aircraft. Upon arrival, he took a seat in the customary waiting area, produced a 30cm long sandwich, and began to consume it.
The other passengers were likely surprised that he would attempt to eat such a behemoth of a sandwich with only moments left before he was expected to board. In response to their perceived dismay, the man said “I am not expected to board the aircraft until the fourth group, ‘Group D,’ is summoned. As a result, I will surely be able to consume this sandwich in its entirety before that time.” I was impressed by his confidence and commitment, and therefore I felt he was a hero.
When the third group, “Group C,” was summoned to board the aircraft, the man had already — true to his word — consumed the sandwich in its entirety.
I posted this story on Twitter, and someone responded with the witty comment: “This man should be hired for a certain occupation that demands such skills; however, I am unsure what that occupation might be.”
Does that help?
Okay, this might sound weird, but this explanation genuinely brightened my day. The pure thought that someone took time to explain this in such good detail is making me so happy. Thank you for this, genuinely.
Dude, yes. I honestly had no idea what they were talking about since I rarely ever fly. Thanks for the explanation, despite the tongue-in-cheeckness of it
The real surprise is that people actually waited for their group to be called instead of everyone rushing to stand in line as soon as a member of staff gets anywhere near the desk.
Your plane ticket often has a zone on it based on how far back in the plane it is. after first class and priority boarding, and disabled people (and sometimes children), some airlines call you by your group so the back fills up first then the front so people don't spend forever queueing behind people in the front seats waiting for them to stow their hand luggage
he ate a footlong subway sandwich in the time they took to call 3 zones. (probably like 10 minutes on an international flight or like 5 on a shorter domestic one)
What unicorn airline do you fly on that has you load from the back?? That’s never happened to me because they always load from front to back on flights I go on so that the people with more expensive seats can get on first (and also monopolize limited overhead cabin storage). After that they still load from front to back. It’s one of my biggest pet peeves because it’s just so dang inefficient!
Group defines boarding order. 12 inch sub is a 12 inch sandwich. Honestly, it's a weird flex. You can finish it before "people with special needs" finish boarding.
It takes me round about five minutes to eat a full sized sub. Or at least it took that long as I was getting one before cinema and all I had was the time I needed to walk the subwaystation from one end to the other.
That’s what I was thinking, maybe I’ve only been to slow airports but the 20-30 or so times I’ve flown it’s always taken forever to board everyone, hell before they even seat group A there’s gonna at least be 5 special groups that get priority access.
To be considered: on average males can eat way faster than females (at least in my experience). So it may be impressive for anyone who is a slow eater.
He says dude so in this context the personal fact you provided is non applicable, but regardless it’s not madlad and there is no job for this useless skill that’s not even remotely impressive.
I travel for work a fair amount as well as leisure when I can break away; one thing I know about myself is I do not want to be sitting in a cramped airline seat for 30+ minutes while they cram us all in like Sardines.
My method:
- No early checkin. I check in when I arrive thus ensuring I’m one of, if not THE, last boarding group.
- I Check all luggage but my handbag with a Book, AirPods, Cables/Chargers, etc. I don’t like dragging a bunch of shit through a crowded airport onto an even more crowded plane.
- I grab a double Whiskey, neat, at the nearest Terminal Bar as I watch the Cattle graze nervously around the Gate.
- I hear the Call for my flight… I sit and relax. I watch the Herd become restless and wild.
- When my group is called, I casually wander over to an empty Gate and walk on. I find my seat, buckle up, and within 10 minutes we’re rolling towards the runaway.
Trust me, if you’re flying solo give this a try. Makes any flight easier on the mind, body, and soul.
This point number 12 of 18 of why I avoid air travel whenever possible. Literal hours of wasted time at the airport. You could get halfway from Minneapolis to Chicago by car in the time it takes to futz around at the airport for a flight to Chicago. Then add the futzing around at the airport at the destination and you've wasted another hour.
12 inch sub varies on location and restaurant. If it's from Subway, fairly easy unless you get it STUFFED with veggies. 12 inch sub really isn't that much.
I don't even board when they call my section. I wait til the last person is in line, then get up and go to the gate. Why rush to get stuck standing and crammed into the loading bridge to then be stuck crammed into a tight and uncomfortable seat next to strangers when you can have an extra 15-20 minutes of normal-chair comfort and a brisk and lonely walk to your seat on the plane?
I just woke up. Took me a minute to realize this was about a sub sandwich, and not a subwoofer. Smh.
Bro eats an entire fucking speaker before boarding an airplane lmao
You don’t? I thought that was normal
No, I take in my 12 inches before flights another way
Yeah, sandwich form
No, *another way*
Oh, I get it! Like a pizza, right? ... Right?
r/cursedcomments
yeah, sub sandwich form
Submissive sandwich.
Found the modern Tarrare
and belches a *super* low burp
The second language choice still threw me “digging in” doesn’t always mean eating.
So there is another way to get it through security???
Yeah, you didn’t know?
I mean... No... :/
Ohhhhh
It's amazing how the same "12 inch sub" can have a totally different meaning by changing small contextual details. It means something totally different on Twitter and on Grindr.
FR I saw 12-inch Sub and I thought we had a Unicorn on our hands.
I thought he had a subwoofer.
100% me too. Subway is hardly even a thing here so this was very confusing.
Sub is short for submarine sandwich
:(
I'm high asf and same issue here
It took me until reading this reply to realize that’s what it was.
It could be a literal subway, but it would be slightly longer than 30cm
I did *not* just wake up and I didn't get this until I saw your comment.
I love the idea of someone taking a whole speaker system on the plane with them. Imagine halfway through your flight you just start hearing “Sail” loudly from the back row.
No no it's a submarine.
As a DJ, I was the same.
The real madlad is in the comments...?
But...he could've just taken his time eating and take the sub with him on board. I have never flown with an airline that forbids people from taking food or drinks with them onto the plane
My mate recently took a whole ass pizza he bought on.
ass pizza is my least favorite kind
How about half pepperoni, half ass?
I love pepperoni pizzas, even half ass ones.
None pizza half ass, please
None pizza left ass
It’s Denji’s favorite kind too
There's that video that was doing the rounds recently of the woman with a massive tray of crabs n lobster.
that's just disrespectful to everyone on board though. I can't stand seafood smells. A sub isn't really smelly. Maybe if it is tuna or something, but still not nearly as bad as a tray of lobsters and crabs.
If this was a Subway sub; Tuna, meatball or pizza are the worst offenders for smell, that subway “marinara” sauce reeks
Fun fact - you can bring food through security, just not drinks.
The real Madlad is always in the comments
I think the point is that he didn’t force the rest of the plane to smell his rank ass meatball sub
*belch
When hunger strikes I guess
But... was the sandwich a HERO??
Isn't Rob the fella from Cyanide and Happiness?
Yeah
And Joe Zombie
Woah...I can't believe..... it took 10 minutes to eat a sandwich lol
Yea. Like every dude I know could eat a sub in that time easily.
This is just normal eating speed. They're slow as hell boarding airplanes.
Yup, i remember being "late" for my flight by about 10 minutes (unexpected security delays & piss poor planning on my part), but I achieved inner peace knowing I was the last boarding group. I made it to my gate with plenty of time to spare and piss.
I have no idea what this means.
At the airport I went to for recent travel, a man arrived at the gate just as the first group, “Group A,” was boarding the aircraft. Upon arrival, he took a seat in the customary waiting area, produced a 30cm long sandwich, and began to consume it. The other passengers were likely surprised that he would attempt to eat such a behemoth of a sandwich with only moments left before he was expected to board. In response to their perceived dismay, the man said “I am not expected to board the aircraft until the fourth group, ‘Group D,’ is summoned. As a result, I will surely be able to consume this sandwich in its entirety before that time.” I was impressed by his confidence and commitment, and therefore I felt he was a hero. When the third group, “Group C,” was summoned to board the aircraft, the man had already — true to his word — consumed the sandwich in its entirety. I posted this story on Twitter, and someone responded with the witty comment: “This man should be hired for a certain occupation that demands such skills; however, I am unsure what that occupation might be.” Does that help?
You are the true hero we deserve!
You remind me of the lady who translated a Vine drama video from English slang to formal English
You remind me of gus3000. I wonder what happened to that guy...
Do you have a link?
I require a link please
r/increasinglyverbose
Okay, this might sound weird, but this explanation genuinely brightened my day. The pure thought that someone took time to explain this in such good detail is making me so happy. Thank you for this, genuinely.
To add context: the someone that responded is the author of the comic Cyanide and Happiness
Dude, yes. I honestly had no idea what they were talking about since I rarely ever fly. Thanks for the explanation, despite the tongue-in-cheeckness of it
The real surprise is that people actually waited for their group to be called instead of everyone rushing to stand in line as soon as a member of staff gets anywhere near the desk.
The hero we didn’t know we needed
If I may, the occupation it would apply to is technical writing and you can make an average salary of $77k/yr. as a Technical Writer.
r/increasinglyverbose
Some airports board in groups, sub man is in Group D
Your plane ticket often has a zone on it based on how far back in the plane it is. after first class and priority boarding, and disabled people (and sometimes children), some airlines call you by your group so the back fills up first then the front so people don't spend forever queueing behind people in the front seats waiting for them to stow their hand luggage he ate a footlong subway sandwich in the time they took to call 3 zones. (probably like 10 minutes on an international flight or like 5 on a shorter domestic one)
I appreciate the explanation, I rarely fly
What unicorn airline do you fly on that has you load from the back?? That’s never happened to me because they always load from front to back on flights I go on so that the people with more expensive seats can get on first (and also monopolize limited overhead cabin storage). After that they still load from front to back. It’s one of my biggest pet peeves because it’s just so dang inefficient!
Basically all airlines I've flown with do this. You get a ticket which says boarding front or back door. But I've only flown in Europe.
Random guy at airport eats as fast as my son
Name checks out
Group defines boarding order. 12 inch sub is a 12 inch sandwich. Honestly, it's a weird flex. You can finish it before "people with special needs" finish boarding.
It takes me round about five minutes to eat a full sized sub. Or at least it took that long as I was getting one before cinema and all I had was the time I needed to walk the subwaystation from one end to the other.
It’s literally a solid 10 min from group A to C. Ain’t that impressive tbh.
That’s what I was thinking, maybe I’ve only been to slow airports but the 20-30 or so times I’ve flown it’s always taken forever to board everyone, hell before they even seat group A there’s gonna at least be 5 special groups that get priority access.
Isn't that the point of r/madlads? To get overly-excited about mundane shit? https://imgur.io/a/32uji Literally stolen from the sidebar...
To be considered: on average males can eat way faster than females (at least in my experience). So it may be impressive for anyone who is a slow eater.
He says dude so in this context the personal fact you provided is non applicable, but regardless it’s not madlad and there is no job for this useless skill that’s not even remotely impressive.
Competitive eater?
Subway sub? Yeah, that thing is half air.
I wish people called me a hero for eating sandwich 😪
i could do it before group a finished boarding
When I come home with fast food I put my show on and often the food is gone before the intro is over
This comment is highly suspect. No one would willingly refer to a Subway sandwich as “behemoth”.
No one said it was from subway.
I travel for work a fair amount as well as leisure when I can break away; one thing I know about myself is I do not want to be sitting in a cramped airline seat for 30+ minutes while they cram us all in like Sardines. My method: - No early checkin. I check in when I arrive thus ensuring I’m one of, if not THE, last boarding group. - I Check all luggage but my handbag with a Book, AirPods, Cables/Chargers, etc. I don’t like dragging a bunch of shit through a crowded airport onto an even more crowded plane. - I grab a double Whiskey, neat, at the nearest Terminal Bar as I watch the Cattle graze nervously around the Gate. - I hear the Call for my flight… I sit and relax. I watch the Herd become restless and wild. - When my group is called, I casually wander over to an empty Gate and walk on. I find my seat, buckle up, and within 10 minutes we’re rolling towards the runaway. Trust me, if you’re flying solo give this a try. Makes any flight easier on the mind, body, and soul.
I read this as a 12” subwoofer. I thought they were gonna dance
bro he could be a pro eater tbh
Like, these boardings can take forever, especially for busy flights, dude could've had a good 10-20 minutes before he got called.
depends on the size of the plane i can finish a 12 inch subway sandwich between boarding gates A and B
This is genuinely the best way to eat lots of food. Just smash it down your throat before your stomach knows what's hit it.
Relatable, get food if with fam. Flirt if alone 😌
Bro just take the food on the plane.
Southwest - Group A boarding start to Group C30 boarding can take about 20 minutes. Are you people saying you can't eat a sandwich in twenty minutes?
He ate the hero he deserved.
Elon, you listening? This guy is the type of HARDCORE you need.
Ah fuck there is a shockingly high chance this was about me
Im sorry, I would have finished before group a finished boarding lol
Bet that sub was only 11"
Between this and that lady who smashed a big burrito in 31 seconds, what’s going on with Reddit content this week? Is it speed eating week?
They still let Gary Busey into airports?
eating a 12" sub is definitely going to make you want to poop on the airplane.
This point number 12 of 18 of why I avoid air travel whenever possible. Literal hours of wasted time at the airport. You could get halfway from Minneapolis to Chicago by car in the time it takes to futz around at the airport for a flight to Chicago. Then add the futzing around at the airport at the destination and you've wasted another hour.
Bro went to his inventory went to the food section and spammed the interact button
Does it really take that long to finish a sub? Even a fairly decent sized sub I can be done in 5 minutes. Probably 2 of em if I'm really hungry.
Sandwich disposal specialist.
but......who was he talking to? who was the flex for? who was the mark?!!
Enough time to dust himself off, pick his teeth and then get in line
He does realize he's allowed to take it on the plane with him, doesn't he?
A hero's sandwich deserves a hero.
..or just bring it on board?
Must be related to https://youtu.be/MDHa1A82eJk her or https://youtu.be/yPTSKd9jmII her
I dont know what I'm paying him to do but he's hired.
Big mouth 👄😺
I feel like waiting for 4 groups takes 20+ min which is like a normal time to eat a large sub in?
12 inch sub varies on location and restaurant. If it's from Subway, fairly easy unless you get it STUFFED with veggies. 12 inch sub really isn't that much.
There’s like 30 minutes between start and end of boarding???? Plenty of time to eat a sub
Who else saw that chick with the mondo burrito?!?
Rob animate this
My folks frequently fly with subway lol
Literally every guy I know could easily eat a sub in that time.
I don't even board when they call my section. I wait til the last person is in line, then get up and go to the gate. Why rush to get stuck standing and crammed into the loading bridge to then be stuck crammed into a tight and uncomfortable seat next to strangers when you can have an extra 15-20 minutes of normal-chair comfort and a brisk and lonely walk to your seat on the plane?
But could he eat another kind of sub??