T O P

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noneroy

Why is pooping when you are wet on a toilet the worst feeling ever?


Ancient_Signature_69

Naked wet pooping or naked wet socks - who you takin


Arikaido777

my life


[deleted]

The only correct answer


devilmaskrascal

Why choose? Do both. I ain't pooping barefoot.


JumplikeBeans

Just one sock


Jordanthb

Both, just take your heels out for grip


[deleted]

Socks all day of the week


Kangarookiwitar

FR, i’ve never had to do this during a shower thank god but one of the things i hated about swimming was going to the bathroom afterwards, especially having to put wet clothes back on after you just did your business. I guess it just freaks the mind out into going ‘wtf why are we still wet down there?’


Chaplain-Freeing

Also the toilet paper, it was never designed for such catastrophic circumstance. ^^^^^Be ^^^^^picking ^^^^^lil ^^^^^toilet ^^^^^paper ^^^^^sausages ^^^^^out ^^^^^my ^^^^^ass ^^^^^hair ^^^^^for ^^^^^days ^^^^^after.


Kangarookiwitar

Oh for real, not to mention the public toilet’s tp is usually 1ply or completely empty. Not to mention the seat is already wet from other people using it after a swim. You know thats probably why i don’t like swimming much anymore, the horrors of using the nearby public toilets outweigh the benefits of swimming for me.


MaximumTurtleSpeed

If I recall from experience… well it’s because you’re feeling vulnerable in an rushed pooping experience while also in a impeccably clean state compared to any other time of the day. You can just feel every different spec of dirty on that seat.


letschangethename

Also wet and cold.


NiceGuyEddie22

Because you only do it when something is going very, very wrong.


[deleted]

It’s humiliating


AbsolutelyUnlikely

We do it because it's better than the alternative, which is pooping right after drying off and then having to re-shower.


BigBungholio

Bro if you need to take a whole ass shower after just taking a dump then you either need to reevaluate your wiping technique or see a doctor hahahah


throwaway87111111

i feel Like being Tortured would be worse . just My opinion


alexdaland

I totally disagree, I think its the most relaxing shit ever. No need to wipe or anything and your asshole actually feels clean when you leave the bathroom.


donbee28

Would you rather be waffle stomping a bad decision down the drain?


[deleted]

Just shit in the shower man…


HookerDoctorLawyer

You feel how fucking dirty that seat is too


DTux5249

"for once, my ass is cleaning the seat"


pythonwarg

with scrubbing buttholes!


DigTreasure

Giddyup 409


AllTattedUpJay

Fabulasshole


Bisonfan1

Still Better than going to chipotle


multiarmform

everyone doesnt just waffle stomp that shit down the drain? interesting


joemangle

Just because "waffle stomp" sounds cool doesn't mean it's a cool thing to do


AddendumNo7007

The worst is pooping after you showered


noliheli123

Same like couldn't it have been before why I gotta be dirty again


[deleted]

Skill Issue


noliheli123

Lmaoo


Honeybadger2198

Get a bidet and never have a dirty ass again.


noliheli123

I am a daily bidet user


FrighteningJibber

Glad you’re shitting everyday


CarmenxXxWaldo

I use a bidet daily whether I need it or not.


Canamaineiac

A "bidetly" if you will.


Prophet_Nathan_Rahl

Or use baby wipes. I get the no name 3 pack for $10


[deleted]

Just don't flush them. They clog the sewerage system.


Prophet_Nathan_Rahl

Yes I'm aware. Even the ones that are labeled as flushable actually aren't. Learned that the hard way


[deleted]

So you put your underwear and pants back on with a wet ass after using a bidet? Wet slightly less shitty ass?


SafeMargins

thats what the tp is for you barbarian


joemangle

It's French


ArtfulAlgorithms

> Same like couldn't it have been before why I gotta be dirty again How are you shitting where it's a general cleanliness issue for you????


noliheli123

It's not I'm just saying it would've been nicer to shit before the shower rather than after


thepresidentsturtle

It's not an issue, it's just that pooping within an hour or so of having showered just feels wrong. Even with a bidet.


noliheli123

Exactly


walksalot_talksalot

Just gotta make it a routine: Wake up and turn on kettle. Poop and read reddit. Shower. Make coffee while getting dressed. Walk to work.


Muchado_aboutnothing

The problem with me is that I’ll need to poop again after the coffee/getting dressed.


E_s_k_r_e_m

Yeah me too. I usually poop twice especially when I eat breakfast, even if it’s just coffee or tea.


xkoreotic

My body is programmed to use the restroom after waking up and moving for a bit.


aeon314159

LPT: Poop and read Reddit at work, on the clock.


ThunderDownUNDRmyAss

I have the same issue. I'm an ass. After Shower Shitter


HowevenamI

Username checks out.


[deleted]

Bidets are like 25 bucks my man.


chumchees

If it's right after and I'm still naked I'll jump back in and wash my ass.


__BIFF__

That's an immediate second shower for me. No way I'm getting the most dirty immediately after being at my most clean.


ValuableShoulder5059

There's something about being naked and close to a toilet that just makes ya need to.... I always poop pre shower. That way my ass is clean after.


Flashy-Birthday-3847

You know if you spread your butt cheeks far enough you wouldn’t even have to wipe and your ass stays clean all the time. It’s a clean cut if you still have a sharp blade If you know what I mean


Prophet_Nathan_Rahl

Depends on the poop consistency. If you wipe after a poop and there is nothing on the tp you are dehydrated


InSpaces_Untooken

I saw on a doctor show that that was a good thing. Maybe I missed the dehydrated part; but it was about how much fiber and healthy foods you’re in taking to solidify it. They mentioned since tp is relatively still new, it was sensible for diets to be balanced to prevent wiping. I though piss was the sign of dehydration?


Rakataz

The more you know...


Rimasticus

I am not afraid to say, I have had the dishonor of making it all go down the shower drain...in my defense...I was sick and it was in no way solid.


Monkey_in_a_Tophat

Classic waffle stompin, eh?


Rimasticus

It was close to waffle batter.


Gatrigonometri

I miss the good old times when I haven’t read this comment.


Rimasticus

If it makes you feel better, it was the most watery batter imaginable.


Bruh_______-__

That don’t help💀


Rimasticus

You're welcome.


Bruh_______-__

Also happy cake day


Rimasticus

Thank you, and happy loss of a little more innocence day.


Thats_bumpy_buddy

Cake batter consistency, makes you wonder if you added flour and eggs to it you could make a poop cake.


[deleted]

I imagine his shit pooled up on the floor and looked like a cake.


Bruh_______-__

Aw hell naw I’m already sick don’t make me puke again.


Krillkus

Holy shit I’m dying


KaiserGustafson

From diarrhea?


Krillkus

Yeah sure 🍑💨💩


hackysack-jack

I have a better story for you.


Kangarookiwitar

NO


Gatrigonometri

Sure, it’s not like I regret having eyes anyway


GreggRulesOkay

I didn't think I'd be thinking about shit waffles today, but here we are


Few-Judgment3122

This is the worst thing I’ve seen on the internet it a while so thanks for that


2cookieparties

You didn't need to admit this


Kangarookiwitar

Welcome to the anonymity of reddit


Transformersaddicto

Not even waterboarding would get this out of me


Rimasticus

It felt like waterboarding TBH.


TheKnifeOfLight

Out of here. OUT.


MrCodeE

IT'S ALL PIPES!


DuesCataclysmos

Yeah that's the usual story. Got violently, feverishly ill once, and had a strange compulsion to go shower. I didn't try to flex, fart, or otherwise strain. I just... expunged. Didn't even notice until it was already happening, by sight. I think some subconscious animal part of my brain just didn't want me to shit the bed.


joemangle

Thank you for sharing your story and I honor your journey


Rimasticus

And once it start, you really just stop caring and let it happen.


Grolschisgood

Honestly all the people berating you for this is unfair. It's not the end of the world. I've done it and I'm sure thousands of other people in this sub have also done it.


Otherwise_Reply_5292

Had seriously bad food poisoning that lasted for a week and half and ended up putting me in an emergency room. Absolutely shit and threw up, it's just easier when it's coming out both ends and its all practically water.


HowevenamI

No one is really berating them. Peps just playing


BR0TAT0CH1P

r/Wafflestomp


Canamaineiac

Did you have to heel any of it down the drain like Kelly Clarkson?


SlutForThickSocks

The Pipes go DIFFERENT places Jerry!


DevDog90

It’s all pipes ! - George Costanza - Joe List


No_Anything5848

The internet is a series of tubes


JuIi0

Bro that’s ME IRL!


Plumb121

Waffle stomp, ACTIVATE !


Dulehlomo

I thought it was a colossal titan cosplay


[deleted]

"WaFfLe-StOmP iT!" No, that's how you clog your pipes. Everyone with even half a brain knows you're supposed to shit into your hand, gently toss it into the toilet from your shower while shouting "Kobe!", rinse your hand off while still in the shower, then flush it once you get out of the shower while you're drying off. Amateurs.


Olaozeez

Correction, whispering “Kobe”


ValuableShoulder5059

Plungers work on shower drains too!


WINDMILEYNO

This is disgusting. This is why I won't ever take a bath in a tub unless its in a house built from scratch that i know has never been pooped in.


ValuableShoulder5059

Hate to give ya bad news, but I think most people wash their ass in a shower or tub. Gonna get fecal matter there either way. I was also referred to the fact that the drains can get clogged which is usually from hair over time or other crud which may not be poop. Sand being a common issue. A plunger can open the drains back up just like a clogged toilet.


WINDMILEYNO

Fecal matter, not fecal mass. A whole clump of poop is a different story for me...


ValuableShoulder5059

A whole clump of poop washed down leaves less fecal matter then one unwashed butt on a towel. This is why we have bleach and scrubbers.


aTaleForgotten

[Ah yes, the original poop in shower guy](https://www.reddit.com/r/ComedyCemetery/s/1UXIRaA4Fa)


VendaGoat

Slidey toilet seat poop.


ironbash08

You guys don't take a shit before taking a bath?


Kangarookiwitar

Why not save the shit for a bath? It’s something fun to play with (i regret ever having consciousness)


Great_White_Samurai

Lord hav mersay


yawn1337

Yall unable to hold it for like 5 minutes?


HeavenInEarthOpal

Just wafflestomp it


Syntrx

Based on these comments I'm 1 of the lucky few who has never experienced this.


Slightly-Evil-Man

Lol no lie many a time have I had to turn the water off right when it's hot over some boo boo😂


jakO_theShadows

He was in the middle of shower sex


Neither_Cod_992

Oh wise man of the soapy and shitty throne, share us your wisdom.


mobileBigfoot

"shit before you get into the shower"


ATV7

Ngl done this a few times


Balrok99

Even worse when your toilet and bathroom are separated. So you gave to run from room to room


Mathieulombardi

Why is someone taking a photo.


treezyway

Right? Like who heard this guy hop out of the shower for a dookie and decided to grab a quick pic


a_lone_incubus

I hate that it's totally what I've done. On multiple occasions.


Ho3n3r

Fake - no phone in his hand.


chuco915niners

Trying farting in a hot shower. Something with the steam and the fart causes an even rankier stench


ImSwedishPlumber

The guy is going to weigh himself before and after taking a dump.


Mylittledarlings91

Literally my husband. Sometimes I go in after him and the toilet seat has water and hairs on it 🫠


Phantomht

"goddamn taco bell wont even wait til outta the goddamn shower!"


StopMeWhenITellALie

I'm not even gonna say what I do when that happens... But the waffle stomp has happened on a rare and horrible occasion.


WINDMILEYNO

The pipes don't push enough water to send it...theres hair down there that's gonna have to get snaked eventually. You've seen the infomercials with the giant clump of mystery yarn pulled out of the drain. And you are telling me you are confident enough in your pipes sending that shit all the way down the line?


Joesredg

Please people, stop posting pictures of people on the toilet unless you are in a subreddit for that kinda stuff. It's just weird


banana_annihilator

Also maybe mark it as nsfw...


rjt2002

Is that a weighing scale ?


Devil2960

Whenever. Wherever. A hero always answers the call of doody.


Environmental-Fox486

Who is clicking the photo 🙄


kobomino

I farted once in the shower and a little squirt came out so I squirted the rest down the drain and cleaned my ass afterwards


Michelin123

Hahaha I love how everyone can relate 😂😂


tlindsay6687

F that. I ain’t getting out. Waffle stomp that shit!


dumplestilskin

Am I the only one that just lets it rip in the shower?


[deleted]

This is way funnier than it should be 😂


RonaldTheGiraffe

You can unscrew the little grate thing on the drain, keep it there for normal use but in an emergency it’s easy to move out the way and just squat and go all the way into the drain. Pour some bleach down that baby and no one will know.


JustaTimber

Bro just get out and sit on the toilet at that point. Shit


maybe-not-idk

Is that Nick Polom?


Lenn1986

I hope all these 'waffle stomp' comments are sarcastic, geez


mobileBigfoot

I know right? You can catch it in your hand and throw it into the bowl without needing to dirty your feet smh


Unlucky_Plastic_6106

i can't take that shit anymore 😂😁


DepartmentMoney1793

So? Why is he on the toilet then?


Mythical_Atlacatl

People get out of the shower?


Matty_Paddy

There is a drain in the shower too


[deleted]

I stared at this pic for like a good 10 seconds in confusion. THEN IT TOOK ME THE FUCK OUT


OhNoMeIdentified

real man doing it right in a shower


Alarming_General

And then the seats all wet?


Biiiiiig-Chungus

I gotta give you a downvote for naked child on a toilet but I hear you


RayGunEra

Ngl it’s like 4 in the morning and I just scrolled past this and thought it was a flayed body taking a poo.


blackninjar87

For me I will wait a few hours to poop before I go into the shower never poop even if I have pooped in a few days, go shower, then immediately after have to poop.


Lost_Cable_4054

Or when your cheeks be sweaty as hell and you can’t get comfortable for nothing


KingofFools3113

This why I hate eating or drinking coffee before my shower


[deleted]

The worst is wiping your ass after!


Red_Jester-94

Bro when I'm standing there trying to rinse my ass before I get out.. that's REAL panic


kormatuz

Before I read the caption I thought it was going to say “trying to poop when you have toddlers.”


Damien966

He got the scale out


BeingJoeBu

My toilet and shower are in the same tiled room, so I can do this on purpose and still stay comfy. Also the toilet is much easier to clean. BEHOLD MY POWER


Echolocation720

I'm gonna be real I thought this was someone with no skin


Nenoshka

Who is taking a photo of your naked soapy azz?


Hoodlum_Aus

🤣🤣🤣🤣


EatsRats

Time to unleash the ‘ol waffle stomp!


fothergillfuckup

Try wiping with a wet soapy hand?


RobbieTheGreat2852

Nah just wafflestomp the turd down the drain


TheEndOfShartache

Just shit in the shower, are you stupid?


longsh0t1994

How do I get my soap to lather like this??


ilikebeingright

just shit in the shower and stomp it down the drain with your foot.


Nanzie_Mona

*"I got a pre·mo·ni·tion that it was a pooppie time"*


MercDa1

Why bother…… Eh nvm.


jizzyGG

Just stomp it down the drain like the rest of us.


[deleted]

Jidion


poopcrayonwriter

Mash Potato Mash Potato


Accomplished-Mix-136

the moment u feel clean and gross at the same time


Square_Ad849

No fun on a wet seat either, slippage, need traction control.


Sajmon_yes

I hate this. Its so weird


[deleted]

Been there done that. I can relate. It's peaceful and much reflection can be done about life.


[deleted]

Waffle stomp!!


Empty_Opposite5371

Who took that picture?


coffee--beans

Sometimes I appreciate how open Reddit is to discussing literally everything. Reddit is the only place where I think I'll read a post and comments about relatable shitting breaks during your shower


glandmilker

You know the wrong move and your slippery ass is going through the seats hole


Rezero1234

Not even a shower, but a bath. One second, I'm relaxing in some hot water. Next second, I'm freezing my nonexistent jinglebells of just trying to get the expired molten brown water outta my asshole


RESIDENT_RUMP

Shooping