I don’t have knowledge of the runes and the future, or an 8 legged horse.

Same, but I do have a world tree I think I should just cut down at this point.

I think if you gave me a couple friendly ravens I could at least get rid of the eye. Not sure about the throne or the tree or whatever.

Are those ravens? Why did I think ravens were smaller and shinier? (I get that technically this is supposed to be Odin. I sort of forget - Is it supposed to be the spirits of the ravens or actual ravens?)

His ravens were phisical manifastation of his mind and memory (Huginn = mind and Muninn = memory). They flew around the world and saw and heard everything and at evening they sat on the shoulders of Odinn and told him what they observed

Ah! TY for reminding me!

Happy to help

He may just have big ass ravens since he liked giants so much. I'd think crows if that's what* you were saying, too. Saw a crow once around chicken size lol Edit: words

Ravens are huge, up to 60 inch wingspan. Much larger than crows and about the size of a red tailed hawk. That may be what you saw.

Woah. That's neat. Thank you for the facts.

Yeah but you would need a sweet library

You have me there, I only own like 10 books and most of those are the Witcher which I've only read like 3 or 4. There's 8 or so.

Nah. Just the still-talking severed head of a dude from a competing pantheon.

I've got extra Ravens, but they're not friendly.

That might make my eyeball removal less traumatic for them at least.

I mean, that’s just a chair.

I mean, get your money's worth and at least trade it for knowledge.

At the very least he should at least sacrifice himself to himself and hang on the tree.

You could just wear the eyepatch and nobody would be able to tell the difference. You don’t actually have to lose an eye.

Nah just put up a hammock

Easily remedied by gouging out your own eye as a sacrifice. I assume you already have a beard and trained ravens?

I just need a son who can turn into a horse, fuck another one, and birth their love child.

Not his son. That's Marvel. In mythology, Loki was a sworn blood brother to Odin.

If I could find two horses and a stapler would that be enough?

No, You'd need to have 3 horses, slaughter and boil one of them until you get glue, and then stick the other two horses together. This is Odin we're talking about. Staples? Pfft, that's for pussies like Jupiter.

Try to hang yourself on tree. I heard it makes you smarter.

I have a YouTube video on that, it’s all about investing, stocks, “Your 8 Legged Horse is just an NFT away” Please watch and buy my book “Don’t force the Norse trust the stock course premonition: the 8 legged horse edition”

The rhythm in that title is fantastic.

I got 99 problems but an ice giant ain't one.

Or a spear that never misses when thrown at a target

Im not a Norse god..

To be fair I’m pretty sure this is a picture of a guy, not a shockingly recent photograph of the allfather.

A picture of a guy cosplaying as odin

To be fair, any photo of Odin would be shockingly recent.

"Thor, get that modern dohickey out of my face. The Magnesium Flash is scaring Hugin."

Hugin would never be scared

Then why does he have two ravens and an eye patch? Think before you post.

Man any jotun can do this.

I'm afraid it is! They did get my best angle

His eye is obscured so it could be Odin.

You never know when the allfather will visit you, as he often does it in disguise. He's clearly hiding behind our perception of time.

Not with that attitude.

I can't hang from a tree for days on end with a spear in my side

Jesus was ALMOST there

Tiktok challenge failed by Jesus 🥱

You wont know til you try

For your cake day, have some B̷̛̳̼͖̫̭͎̝̮͕̟͎̦̗͚͍̓͊͂͗̈͋͐̃͆͆͗̉̉̏͑̂̆̔́͐̾̅̄̕̚͘͜͝͝Ụ̸̧̧̢̨̨̞̮͓̣͎̞͖̞̥͈̣̣̪̘̼̮̙̳̙̞̣̐̍̆̾̓͑́̅̎̌̈̋̏̏͌̒̃̅̂̾̿̽̊̌̇͌͊͗̓̊̐̓̏͆́̒̇̈́͂̀͛͘̕͘̚͝͠B̸̺̈̾̈́̒̀́̈͋́͂̆̒̐̏͌͂̔̈́͒̂̎̉̈̒͒̃̿͒͒̄̍̕̚̕͘̕͝͠B̴̡̧̜̠̱̖̠͓̻̥̟̲̙͗̐͋͌̈̾̏̎̀͒͗̈́̈͜͠L̶͊E̸̢̳̯̝̤̳͈͇̠̮̲̲̟̝̣̲̱̫̘̪̳̣̭̥̫͉͐̅̈́̉̋͐̓͗̿͆̉̉̇̀̈́͌̓̓̒̏̀̚̚͘͝͠͝͝͠ ̶̢̧̛̥͖͉̹̞̗̖͇̼̙̒̍̏̀̈̆̍͑̊̐͋̈́̃͒̈́̎̌̄̍͌͗̈́̌̍̽̏̓͌̒̈̇̏̏̍̆̄̐͐̈̉̿̽̕͝͠͝͝ W̷̛̬̦̬̰̤̘̬͔̗̯̠̯̺̼̻̪̖̜̫̯̯̘͖̙͐͆͗̊̋̈̈̾͐̿̽̐̂͛̈́͛̍̔̓̈́̽̀̅́͋̈̄̈́̆̓̚̚͝͝R̸̢̨̨̩̪̭̪̠͎̗͇͗̀́̉̇̿̓̈́́͒̄̓̒́̋͆̀̾́̒̔̈́̏̏͛̏̇͛̔̀͆̓̇̊̕̕͠͠͝͝A̸̧̨̰̻̩̝͖̟̭͙̟̻̤̬͈̖̰̤̘̔͛̊̾̂͌̐̈̉̊̾́P̶̡̧̮͎̟̟͉̱̮̜͙̳̟̯͈̩̩͈̥͓̥͇̙̣̹̣̀̐͋͂̈̾͐̀̾̈́̌̆̿̽̕ͅ >!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<

My perfect eyesight

I mean, you can just wear an eye patch, no need to remove the eye all, there's no law against it.

I wore an eye patch and bumped into everything.

Wear two

Perfectly balanced.

I had a bar guest that would come through frequently for first dates, wore an eye patch... The eye patch would swap sides each time. I assumed the dude just lacked any real personality. It wasn't a good look

I suspect you are correct but i also like to think it was just utilitary. For how dim bars can be and then walking outside into direct streetlight reflecting off of snowbanks or a fading but still bright summer daylight, a pirate approach is a bit brilliant.

There is a training method to remedy crosseyedness that involves alternating sides eyepatches.

bruh

Hindsight is 20/20

I mean, it's very possible that you might get it removed in the process of procuring the ravens

Mine's not perfect but I still have two eyes that I'd like to keep.

Sitting in that chair I would get the sensation that one of the birds is going to peck my eye. If anything the eye patch is for protection. Or it could be the result of many years of playing “eye peck Roulette” sitting upon that throne.

Odin had 2 eyes until he started to work to be the man he wants to be. You can do it too!

The glasses on your snoo tell me otherwise

my beard genetics

That's the real issue here. Pour one out for us bros that can't grow a proper beard.

my copium is that my full potential will be at my 30s and I’ll be able to grow damn viking beard

I’m 28 man and it’s still not happening. Maybe when I’m 40 who knows.

Turned 30 this year, still patchy and sparse :(

Even those of us that can grow a beard struggle with length sometimes, I've got a fairly respectable beard but it gets to a certain length and just stops. I've tried a couple of times to go full gandalf but it just doesn't work.

It's not the length bro, it's the diameter.

This. My terminal length is around 4 inches. No epic beard face for me.

If I were to grow out my facial hair, I'd look like those pedos you see on To Catch a Predator. Suffice it to say, I will never be able to grow a beard that epic

I could, but beard care sucks for long beards...unless you want to look like a hobo.

Can’t get the ravens to sit still

Well, at least you can get ravens

You can get ravens too. They’re remarkably smart birds. Just leave them treats and they’ll become your friends. I’ve done it before.

My wife

Came here to say "I'm married." Fully accurate

Obligatory Reddit divorce suggestion

This will end as a AITAH post in a few weeks.

“AITA for leaving my wife so I can cosplay as the Allfather?”

TLDR: I didn't consult my wife before buying two ravens and now she's pissed. AITAH?

Very nice.

Funny thing is I'm really not far off from looking like this dude and that's how my wife likes it. His beard is significantly longer then mine but bout the same size really.

Odin had a wife and he still got freaky with a Frost Giant (Thor’s mother, Jörd).

I said in my head “well I’ll probably never get fucked again… for one” but then I realized oh wait there actually is nothing stopping me

Nah. As a gandalf bearded weirdo, the sex just gets...... different.

Great Odin’s raven !

I'd give my left eye to look like that

I'd give my right, 'cause then I'd have one left.

Get out 👉🏼🚪 But first take this 🏆

Time, budget and effort. First 2 are excuses while 3rd is the real reason

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hans_Langseth

So, the ravens and the eyepatch are edits?

So I could look like that if I had photoshop.

Thanks I was wondering who this was

Rick and Morty did it already

About 150 years

No ravens or magic wells of knowledge to eat one of my eyes

My second eye, my biological unability to have such a beard and the fact that the average crow is smarter than me

Dang. Let me go stab my eyeball out and catch some grackles real quick.

I have no Crows

I think they're ravens

Yep those are ravens. They are like crows but bigger, uglier, and they have that neck thing.

Ravens are beautiful!!!

Not with that defeatist attitude

For a moment i thought this was a series of unfortunate events refrence

"INTRUDE!" Is my favorite way to usher people into my home.

My wife is scared of birds.

I don’t feel like hanging myself to death while high on shrooms to get the knowledge of the world tree

Sadly I'm not the Allfather.

That's a corpse

common sense. ...and my fear of ravens, those fuckers can't be trusted.

The fact that some men do not define themselves by how they meet and fulfill the expectations of others

The cocaine, heroin, weed cough drops

Well, I normally do, but today I left my eye patch, crows, and stupidly long beard in my car, and it's been raining, I'm wearing slippers....

Wives.

Money

I don't look like that, because I'm not Odin.

Well, I guess, probably, and almost definitely....I'm a woman. But I do have ravens already.

I'm bald.

I have two working eyes and no raven friends

I'm not a fucking god

That I wouldn't mind going on an adventure with Morty

Not being the allfather…

The ability to grow a two foot long beard lmfao, also just not really my style, but even if it were the lack of ability would alway be a hinderance lol

Crows maybe..

I am crushed to find out that even this cool guy was not THIS cool! https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hans_Langseth Even Hans has been photoshopped!

Common sense

Antibiotics?

I still have both eyes.

Sadly my job and girlfriend stop me from looking like this but I would trade both to be a wizard with two huge pet ravens.

(1) I can’t grow a good beard, comes in all patchy. (2) I have a strange and unnatural fear of birds, crows are very high on that spectrum due to their unnerving intelligence. (3) I have little to no desire to go antiquing for a chair like that. (4) I’m already balding, probably not going to have the hair to pull off that look by the time I get that old. (5) Lastly, I have no idea what material is on his sleeve and buying a custom jacket to pull off this look is very much against anything I would call fiscally responsible.

Two eyes and a propensity to fiddle with my beard to the extent the hair becomes brittle and snaps WAY WAY WAY before I could ever achieve this gloriousness. Also, we only get jackdaws in our garden, not crows or ravens, so my opportunities in pokeballing them are nill.

I cant grow a fucking beard. I got the irish pube face gene

I once did, but nevermore.

The Ravens. I have to aquire 2 Ravens.

As a fellow Langseth, I've always felt slightly inadequate I couldn't live up to my ancestor's magnificent facial hair

Company dress code policy 😮‍💨

I'm allergic to world trees.

Sadly a mortal and if I want to take his place I'd have to sneek past the raven's and he has a shit ton of them

the ravens never hang around after I feed them and my beard is stuck at about 6"

Rick and two crows?

I'm working on it okay? You try having a full time job and find the time to hang upside down from the world tree until learning the secrets of runes

I have two working eyes, not enough facial hair growth, lacking two ravens, and I’d likely break that old chair if I sat in it.

Birds and I don’t get along. I think it’s because I’m a cat lover and most cats walk up to me like homies. Other than that I just need to get older haha

I’m not a Norse god.

Nothing. I am currently working on it.

I eat pussy too much so my beard will always have 2 patches on the sides of my chin. Also, by wife doesn’t like birds.

Don't have the budget for ravens

I can do the ravens.........and the eye patch. But the beard is beyond my skills.

By Odins Beard! Those are some fine Corvids you have there my good man!

I’m brown

I can’t grow a beard okay?! Its my greatest shame, you don’t have to rub it in

Ravens are cheeky as heck.

For me… I must admit, skill issue. Not everyone can be this cool.

I have no crows

I’m not old yet and have both eyes

Old age, two ravens, and a magnificent beard

Beard weaves are expensive. You gotta get that Nordic, wiry, 28 inch!

I tried to hang myself for 9 days and 9 nights and all that happened to me is that I fucking died.

Hanging from a tree for three days and throwing my eye down a well.

Going bald

My inability to distinguish between crows and ravens (although these are definitely ravens, crows - no wait, they have sticky out chest feathers: deffo ravens, crows. Oh forget it).

my beard is curly so it just gets bushier instead of longer

I have 2 eyes and 0 ravens

I'm afraid Kratos will come kick my ass

The inability to grow a fucking beard man

Hair loss, I am working on the beard though

I’m working on it.

I'm not a senior enough engineer yet.

a lot of shiny coins

Women

I'm just a father, not the all father

My ravens won’t cooperate. They’ve formed a union

Is this the philosopher Rick Sanchez?

Sanity. Odin is one of the most controlling, paranoid men I've ever heard of.

My wife. She keeps nagging about the ravens.

Holy Odin....

Common sense and pride.

Magic

My penchant for smiling in photos

My beard caps out at like 4-5 inches long, just will not grow longer.

I have not yet found the world tree

I can't grow a beard for shit

Common Sense

Urd's well

Shitty genetics. My facial hair doesn’t work

Birds hate me.

I like to have sex with girls that dont have granddaddy issues

Poor

Patchy beard genetics.

Hygiene and budget mostly. That's a custom cloak, and raven training is not cheap.

My job

Definitely got that odin look

Society (pls ready with edgelord voice for full experience)

I cant grow a beard

I can’t grow facial hair