Men DV survivors in Melbourne are recommended to contact St Kilda Crisis Centre for temporary (overnight) housing relief - I’m not sure about other states.
Perhaps reach out to a local men’s shed and ask if they accept clothing donations?
When people are put in psychiatric wards, they usually only have the clothes they are wearing.
So they have to rely on donated clothes from the clothing pool that the nurses let them have.
This could be an option.
This is throughout the hospitals. Inpatient mental health units, ED and the wards have donated clothes cupboards usually filled by staff. Some hospitals have a volunteer group who arranges same.
Not in Melbourne, QLD had the first one if you are in for donating it to them free collection. Otherwise call Mensline 1300 78 99 78 for support guidance and referrals where most needed
Well done on not reading the article you linked or doing any further reading about the situation, makes you look really informed and totally not like you are playing mental gymnastics to affirm your own bias.
What has a bunch of NIMBYs in Queens, New York, USA protesting over the fact they don't think they were given enough notice so they could complain about a men's homeless shelter opening in their area got to do with men's DV shelters in Melbourne, Australia anyway?
You’re spreading total BS. The Department of Social Services are still planning to open the homeless shelter this month, exclusively for single men: https://qns.com/2024/02/queens-community-caught-off-guard-fast-tracked-homeless-shelter-coming-rego-park/
I saw your post history - I'm sorry for your loss.
There aren't really any Men's DV shelters in Victoria, though if you take the clothes to Sacred Heart Mission in St Kilda, they will give anything that is useful to their unhoused clientele, and anything less practical they will sell to fund the homeless shelter.
Thanks for the lead.
Domestic violence was a cause close to my partner's heart so I would really like to honour him by trying to find a worthy cause for his possessions.
I understand. There used to be a men-only DV shelter in QLD called Sheltered By Grace, but after about a year they started taking all men who needed housing, not just DV victims.
I used run a men homeless shelter when I was younger,
so I know how dodgy some of these outfits can be,
I have met the Sheltered By Grace people,
they have some problems, but they are very good outfit overall,
Highly recommend them, and they need any help they can get
Most shelters generally seem to work or partner alongside other charities that have the storage and stock.
So in general, you can't often specifically donate to the cause of domestic violence.
Refuge Victoria who does work in crisis accommodation seem to work with The Generosity Collective when it comes to good condition preloved clothes.
Maybe pysch units at hospitals, a lot of people end up there without a chance to organize everything and live in hospital pyjamas, it's one suggestion.
Detox and rehab places are sometimes men only, or the closest we can get without jail, so those places would love the clothes.
I did a uni placement on a psych ward, they tend to have wardrobes of clothes for patients to use as often people come in with very little. The men’s sections are frequently pretty under served. You could try there.
You could also try [https://mensshed.org/](https://mensshed.org/)
A lot of blokes don't talk about DV, because we don't get much support, so we tend to end up at places like that, and just tough it out.
Thanks for what you are doing.
There is one in QLD called Sheltered by Grace but it has a sketchy reputation for taking advantage of the men who use their services & pushing the religion angle pretty hard. I'm not aware of any in Vic but it would be great to see some genuine help offered. Men who experience DV are often still not taken seriously.
>taking advantage of the men who use their services & pushing the religion angle pretty hard.
I am curious what you mean by that,
used to run a home shelter myself years ago, I shut it down years ago,
There are a lot of problems running homeless shelters
for example sometimes homeless people apply for rent assistance payment using an address of a homeless shelter and never actual live in that homeless shelter
the ATO thinks if someone claims rent assistance they pay the rent,
even Centrelink admits it when they pay rent assistance it does not have to be on paid to a landlord,
so the ATO knocks on your door for there cut of money that someone else has used on drugs for example,
I am honestly curious about any concerns
It’s unfortunate but resources are so tight, realities are FDV statistics make it a gendered issue, what’s even sadder, both sides under report.
Time will see more conversations open up (just like men are talking about their mental health), there will be a big rally by those experiencing FDV in same sex male relationships and female to male violence, the more it’s highlighted the better the funding and grants available so services can open.
Australia does have a domestic violence issue, we all have the responsibility to call it out when we see it or hear it (if it’s safe to do so). Peer pressure is powerful.
Stay safe everyone.
Some men's sheds run support programs for men experiencing dv, so it may be worth looking up the ones local to you
If he was passionate about dads in particular, there's also 'Dads in Distress' who may be able to point you towards local men's dv support programs to donate to
There are unfortunately very limited options for DV specific charity groups, especially for male victim/survivors
Regardless of whom is the victim DV is a sad affair.
Doing a quick search online, certainly doesn’t make it a straight forward process to find a shelter for men who are victims of DV or just general support for men.
It’s actually very sad, the comments on some of the sites for women, is down right toxic!
This one does mention that they differentiate between men and women
http://refugeofhope.org.au/
https://vincentcare.org.au/our-services/ozanam-house/
https://www.1800respect.org.au
It’s really limited
All other are just talking about how men need to change, which would be true for the perpetrators but there is very little for the victims as if it doesn’t exist.
This!! You can donate specifically to men's services that are within services. They will have e affiliates too, so you can also ask them. Calling is better than Google. Try menshelp line
This is what makes my blood boil when I see bloody one sided ads about "Women's Domestic Violence".
You never see anything for men who are suffering at the hands of psychotic homicidal or worse lying women who fake DV
In 2021-2022, 18 men were killed by their partners. 60 women were killed by their partners in the same time frame.
More than 3 times as many. Homicide by partner is the leading cause of death in pregnant women. On average, one woman per week is killed by a partner in Australia.
That's why domestic violence ads are "one sided", because women are more often victims.
But sure, you can take the ads, I'd much prefer to take the lower risk of domestic violence. We can trade and I won't even whine online about how unfair it is that men get ads. In return, you get to be three times more likely to be murdered by a partner! Yay! Pretty good deal, ay?
The point is that there are hardly any men's DV shelters as the subject says in the first place. Mens deaths are always gonna be lower due to men's physical strength being the likely cause of lower deaths.
As for the amount of unreported men's DV, well never see the true number cuz men don't report it to police or emergency services cuz they're not taken seriously by anyone, they just keep to themselves and struggle on for there to be enough statistics to build up.
You want to talk deaths? Ok, let's go there. Due to the lack of male DV or any services for that mattee, there generally a higher suicide rates for men.
Here's the breakdown of suicides in Australia for 2021 by gender:
Males: 2,358 deaths by suicide
Females: 786 deaths by suicide
>shelters as culturally and financially its stastically occurs less.
used to run homeless shelter myself, it is really hard to legally run a homeless shelter in Australia, full stop, let alone one for only men,
I was taught at school that boys can never be victims of rape, even at the hands of adult men. (Roman Catholic all boys school),
"Statistically occurs less" is wrong.
More like "Often not reported", I wouldn't be surprised if the numbers are way higher than one things because guys have to "Man Up" about their problem and rarely ever talk about those problems.
Clued up people know male DV occurs, society thinks there's no such thing as male DV and that's the problem.
Those DV ads need to just be more generic, regardless if your male, female or whatever flavour gender you want to be of the week \[eye rolls\]
Look at the number of women killed by their partners as opposed to men killed by their partners.
That statistic alone shows that it's more than just "men don't come forward, dv actually happens to them just as much". It just doesn't.
Sure it happens, and sure it's probably under-reported, but it does not happen nearly as much. Otherwise there'd be just as many men killed by their partners.
Thanks for the lead. I had a look but seems like those shelters are for the homeless.
Whilst that is a worthy cause and I may only have that option, domestic violence was a cause close to my partner's heart so I would really like to honour him by trying to find a worthy cause for his possessions.
Ah yep. I only know of them as I am familiar with their clients. I'm so sorry for your loss. I wonder if you could contact for eg, haven home safe, and ask a general question about men's domestic violence support (you could say it's for a friend) then they might give you a specific lead. Hope you find it 🙏
There's one called Bethlehem Community in Reservoir (many of them are religious ...). Another service that offered supper for men is Haven Home Safe in Preston
Was falling asleep when I posted my earlier comment and couldn't provide specifics
I can’t help with DV shelter suggestions, but often mental health wards need clothing donations. My old ward had a “boutique” of donated clothing (not in VIC). A lot of people who are admitted don’t have anything with them aside from what they’re wearing, and won’t necessarily have family/friends to bring any clothing for them, and may not have financial resources to purchase clothing or be able to leave the ward to buy clothes for a little while.
Abuse and violence towards an intimate partner or family member is an ongoing crisis in Australia, with women experiencing violence at the hands of an intimate partner at a much higher rate than men.
However, men can often experience violence at the hands of an intimate partner or family member too. If you are experiencing violence, there is help available to you. 1800RESPECT can refer you to services that can help.
Xx
Yes.
I just find the framing of “shorter life span = women have it better” to be intellectually dishonest, as well as a short leap to Manosphere shit, which is why most women are tetchy about it.
Well, it’s because most DV’s are by men. And most communication to cops are male DV perpetrators trying to lie and flip the truth.
Makes it so sad when there is a real female DV perpetrator.
It’s got nothing to do with “being worthless”. Of course that is not true.
I’m sorry you’ve felt let down & treated with negative bias at some point. I truly don’t think they’re trying to start a debate, more answering why there’s no men’s DV shelters. As far as I know there is alternate crisis accommodation for men, including if they’re fleeing with their children. If you know anyone who’s going through it I highly recommend speaking with a support service ASAP ❤️
But yes, what the person responding said is factually correct. That women are statistically much more likely to be the victims of reported DV, and that often perpetrators will play the victim.
You keep saying you don’t want to make it men vs women and “just want to talk about men” but also want to slip in that lesbian relationships are more violent, without any citation, and then don’t want to talk about it anymore, just men?
Uh…. Okay.
I mean that the most violent relationships are between lesbian women. Can’t think of a well-known example where it has resulted in a death (certainly not to say it hasn’t happened), but can think of endless examples of DV resulting in homicide in hetero relationships
Fact checked for your convenience:
What it [actually says](https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/nisvs_sofindings.pdf) is that 44% of lesbian respondents reported having experienced IPV in their lifetime *by any perpetrator*. For lesbian women, 67.4% reported having only female perpetrators, and for bisexual women, 89.5% reported having only male perpetrators. The lifetime prevalence of IPV for lesbian women compared to heterosexual women was also noted as not being statistically significant.
That's shit, and I'm sorry that happened. As a woman, I wish MORE men would show more emotiun. Most women I know try to encourage the men in their life to show their vulnerable side, to show more emotion.
Is that women a boomer? because it seems like a boomer attitude, tbh
Woah. What a misguided take. I’ve had one hothead at work do something similar, turns out she was just a troublemaker trying to manipulate me. Sounds like a bad apple.
No debate starting at all here. I’m not sure what has perpetuated the myth to you that society only likes masculine men. There are some toxic circles that try to tell us that. But there are plenty of other places that don’t. I promise you mate!
It's a fairly common experience of men that they are told they need to be more emotional/vulnerable but when they do they are either dismissed or ridiculed.
In my teens I had struggled with mild depression and self confidence issues, during my 20's I went through a short phase of agoraphobic tendencies and realised it was a depressive episode and sought help.
In my 40's I was feeling down and struggling with self confidence and realised I was starting a depressive phase again. I told my My ex wife what was going on and that I would be ok but just needed a little support. Her response was " just get over it ".
I never opened up to her again on anything. We only lasted another 9 months.
Don't worry about the down votes. If you go against "the narrative", you get hammered. It's fairly common on Reddit to be down voted for commenting on the struggles of men, because apparently most men are evil. Never mind the differences between men and women are small, including things like psychopathy.
Victims of crime/victims assistance program, mens line, st kilda crisis centre, 1800 respect. There is also a range of lgbtiq+ services such as rainbow door, Thorne Harbour health, etc. There is CASA for all, police, IVOs.
I just had to look that term up and I honestly can't believe it exists in real life. I do think the people who use the term are probably the kinds of people who weren't exactly innocent in why courts would award custody to the other parent, though!
Victoria has one male domestic violence crisis centre, women have 100s this is part of our major issue with men’s mental health and men not reporting female abusers. But you know men can’t be victims.
Maybe you could just provide me the name of said crisis centre instead of turning this into a men vs women thing.
Clearly I understand that men's shelters are hard to find (otherwise I wouldn't need to ask for help here).
Just need help on where to donate clothes.
I’ll try and find the info on it, I seen it on the news a few months ago, it’s a bloke who runs it off donations and it’s always gonna be a men vs women thing until we can actually help blokes none of the male female bullshit will end.
Go and research those womens shelters. Who started them? Women. Who volunteered? Women. Who donated clothes and products? Women. Who lobbied and fundraised? Women. Women protecting women. You feel strongly, that's great. Start a shelter for men. Get the ball rolling yourself and stop blaming women. Even when men are the victim in dv situations, the aggressor is often another man. How about men start protecting other men?
By who? No one is suggesting men dont need help. We do get annoyed when people whinge about women having them. Because more women are victims and women are the ones who worked hard and started the shelters. It's a very defeatist attitude that you have. 'Well, someone might say something mean to me so I won't try at all'. Do you think these womens shelters in the early years were supported and never experienced abuse or threats? Of course they were threatened and abused and mocked and yet they kept going. If you really wanted to, you could.
I didn't see anyone complaining that women have shelters, just people pointing out that people claim men are valued there are heaps of women's shelters compared to men's.
Your right, men should be pushing for shelters and be pushing to get involved and help but look at the negative reaction people got for ask why there is such a disparity.
But they aren't asking genuinely, its intellectually dishonest questioning. They know the answer, more often than not, the 'questioning' is more of a bitter statement, implying women get treated better by society and that men are oppressed and abused more than women. Look through the comments in this post, look at the ones that have been downvoted. They have been downvoted because the way its stated or framed is less of a question and more of a gender based comment. If people were to ask genuinely, they would not get a negative reaction. No one here is saying men shouldn't have refuges. Take note in this comment section that when people answer their 'questions', the questioner doubles down. I also think if you were to look in the comment history of the 'questioners', you would probably see a pattern of negativity regarding women.
Women really had to fight to get refuges. They weren't just handed to them. If men need them, there's nothing stopping them from fighting for them either.
Stop with the victimology. Women have had to fight for everything, and we still do. I'm convinced that many men hate women. I make that assumption based on the DV, and murder statistics...Fight for what you want, we've always had to.
Men like you always brigade posts about DV against women with “it happens to men too!” then on a post about supporting male victims, you make it about female victims. Almost like you don’t actually care about DV, you just don’t like women.
So you must not be that good at your job for dismissing the enormous amount of male domestic violence victims.
You must be either a troll or a misandrist.
The very fact that you say that is misandristic you know.
Both misandry and misogyny exist in this world.
Both of them are harmful and awful and should stop existing.
So kindly, stop being a sexist prick and get some empathy.
Misandry is hate or/and prejudice against men.
Can you comfortably say that men do not face any injustices, hate or prejudice ?
>Misandry is a term men made up to try and feel some kind of superiority over women highlighting their own oppression.
Also you're extremely misguided and sexist if you think that.
Men face a lot of social and legal issues that women don't.
And plenty of issues are not gendered and both sexes suffer from them.
Is there a breast cancer support foundation for men? Because men can get breast cancer. No, there isn’t. Why? Because the prominent demographic for both breast cancer and victims of domestic violence, is women.
The government didn't start the womens refuges and barely fund them now. Women did. Those women fought hard and volunteered their own time and money. How about men do the same thing? Get the ball rolling, start one yourself.
Throughout the year these refuges have ongoing campaigns and fund raising initiatives going to help meet the ongoing needs of the refuge, or to gather resources to support the people who are coming through the refuge and have nothing but the clothes on their backs when they arrive.
Women who are connected to these refuges in all sorts of capacities including women who have previously been through the refuge and have benefited from their time their and as a result were able to get the help and support and get their life back on track contribute. They then rally and get their family, friends, colleagues etc to support the refuge because they all know how much that refuge changed and supported that woman, and enabled her to get a fresh start in life.
If women and their communities weren't running, volunteering, donating and supporting all these refuges, many of them would cease to be able to offer the support to women and their children that they currently do.
Exactly. The women connected to the refuges work bloody hard. That's what frustrates me about the men who complain about there being shelters for women and not men. They want women to do the work for them on this as well. Why dont they stand up and get one going? Why dont they use their connections and resources to help fund one? Because they dont actually want to do it themselves, they'd much rather be bitter and resentful and blame women.
Statistics only show the data on reported DV Incidents and is skewed by the fact women are more likely to be injured.
My last ex regularly punched me to get her way, I never returned the violence. Eventually had enough and cops were called. She was arrested only to claim I hit her daughter and then I was arrested and her charges dismissed.
Going through the process of defending myself took 18 months before it was admitted in court by her daughter that I didn't touch her.
The stats around that would still be 1 male perpetrator, 1 female victim.
EDIT: not trying to suggest women are or are not the majority of victims, just that the data is skewed by a range of factors so we can't accurately say how bad it is.
Men like you always brigade posts about DV against women with “it happens to men too!” then on a post about supporting male victims, you make it about female victims. Almost like you don’t actually care about DV, you just don’t like women.
Actually it's very common.
But due to a combination of unjust laws, social conditions, and biology (like how men are stronger on average than women) they are underreported or not taken as serious
Comments have been locked. OP has their answer, there is no need for more arguments in the comments.
Men DV survivors in Melbourne are recommended to contact St Kilda Crisis Centre for temporary (overnight) housing relief - I’m not sure about other states. Perhaps reach out to a local men’s shed and ask if they accept clothing donations?
When people are put in psychiatric wards, they usually only have the clothes they are wearing. So they have to rely on donated clothes from the clothing pool that the nurses let them have. This could be an option.
Such a good suggestion
This is throughout the hospitals. Inpatient mental health units, ED and the wards have donated clothes cupboards usually filled by staff. Some hospitals have a volunteer group who arranges same.
I once collected clothing for children in an insane asylum for the same reason.
can you please not refer to them as “insane asylums” its incredibly insensitive
No there isn’t any men’s DV shelters. Flagstaff crisis accommodation in north Melbourne is for men only.
Thank you. This looks like a good lead.
And the launch housing Southbank crisis accommodation
Both launch in Southbank and ozanam house in north Melbourne are crisis accommodations that take homeless people, including women
Not in Melbourne, QLD had the first one if you are in for donating it to them free collection. Otherwise call Mensline 1300 78 99 78 for support guidance and referrals where most needed
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The clip you’ve linked to shows mostly men protesting a homeless shelter, wtf are you even talking about.
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Well done on not reading the article you linked or doing any further reading about the situation, makes you look really informed and totally not like you are playing mental gymnastics to affirm your own bias. What has a bunch of NIMBYs in Queens, New York, USA protesting over the fact they don't think they were given enough notice so they could complain about a men's homeless shelter opening in their area got to do with men's DV shelters in Melbourne, Australia anyway?
That’s not why they were protesting though. They were NIMBYs annoyed that it was so close to their homes.
You’re spreading total BS. The Department of Social Services are still planning to open the homeless shelter this month, exclusively for single men: https://qns.com/2024/02/queens-community-caught-off-guard-fast-tracked-homeless-shelter-coming-rego-park/
I doubt the NIMBYs in NY are the people championing equality in their day to day lives
I saw your post history - I'm sorry for your loss. There aren't really any Men's DV shelters in Victoria, though if you take the clothes to Sacred Heart Mission in St Kilda, they will give anything that is useful to their unhoused clientele, and anything less practical they will sell to fund the homeless shelter.
Thanks for the lead. Domestic violence was a cause close to my partner's heart so I would really like to honour him by trying to find a worthy cause for his possessions.
I understand. There used to be a men-only DV shelter in QLD called Sheltered By Grace, but after about a year they started taking all men who needed housing, not just DV victims.
I used run a men homeless shelter when I was younger, so I know how dodgy some of these outfits can be, I have met the Sheltered By Grace people, they have some problems, but they are very good outfit overall, Highly recommend them, and they need any help they can get
Most shelters generally seem to work or partner alongside other charities that have the storage and stock. So in general, you can't often specifically donate to the cause of domestic violence. Refuge Victoria who does work in crisis accommodation seem to work with The Generosity Collective when it comes to good condition preloved clothes.
Maybe pysch units at hospitals, a lot of people end up there without a chance to organize everything and live in hospital pyjamas, it's one suggestion. Detox and rehab places are sometimes men only, or the closest we can get without jail, so those places would love the clothes.
I did a uni placement on a psych ward, they tend to have wardrobes of clothes for patients to use as often people come in with very little. The men’s sections are frequently pretty under served. You could try there.
What a thoughtful question!
You could also try [https://mensshed.org/](https://mensshed.org/) A lot of blokes don't talk about DV, because we don't get much support, so we tend to end up at places like that, and just tough it out. Thanks for what you are doing.
There is one in QLD called Sheltered by Grace but it has a sketchy reputation for taking advantage of the men who use their services & pushing the religion angle pretty hard. I'm not aware of any in Vic but it would be great to see some genuine help offered. Men who experience DV are often still not taken seriously.
>taking advantage of the men who use their services & pushing the religion angle pretty hard. I am curious what you mean by that, used to run a home shelter myself years ago, I shut it down years ago, There are a lot of problems running homeless shelters for example sometimes homeless people apply for rent assistance payment using an address of a homeless shelter and never actual live in that homeless shelter the ATO thinks if someone claims rent assistance they pay the rent, even Centrelink admits it when they pay rent assistance it does not have to be on paid to a landlord, so the ATO knocks on your door for there cut of money that someone else has used on drugs for example, I am honestly curious about any concerns
Is there even men DVA shelters?
I couldn't find anything easily just googling so thought I'd ask here. Doesn't seem like there are.
hopefully there is!
No there is not
That's a shame
It’s unfortunate but resources are so tight, realities are FDV statistics make it a gendered issue, what’s even sadder, both sides under report. Time will see more conversations open up (just like men are talking about their mental health), there will be a big rally by those experiencing FDV in same sex male relationships and female to male violence, the more it’s highlighted the better the funding and grants available so services can open. Australia does have a domestic violence issue, we all have the responsibility to call it out when we see it or hear it (if it’s safe to do so). Peer pressure is powerful. Stay safe everyone.
Sleeping in your car in the middle of winter in the park is the only right you have before you go to work. Assuming you aren't 'moved on'.
Lol, no.
All the very best wishes, OP. I hope that current pain clears and you honour all the people you love and have loved by leading a joyful, happy life.
Some men's sheds run support programs for men experiencing dv, so it may be worth looking up the ones local to you If he was passionate about dads in particular, there's also 'Dads in Distress' who may be able to point you towards local men's dv support programs to donate to There are unfortunately very limited options for DV specific charity groups, especially for male victim/survivors
Regardless of whom is the victim DV is a sad affair. Doing a quick search online, certainly doesn’t make it a straight forward process to find a shelter for men who are victims of DV or just general support for men.
Yes, I'm struggling to find anything male specific.
It’s actually very sad, the comments on some of the sites for women, is down right toxic! This one does mention that they differentiate between men and women http://refugeofhope.org.au/ https://vincentcare.org.au/our-services/ozanam-house/ https://www.1800respect.org.au It’s really limited All other are just talking about how men need to change, which would be true for the perpetrators but there is very little for the victims as if it doesn’t exist.
This!! You can donate specifically to men's services that are within services. They will have e affiliates too, so you can also ask them. Calling is better than Google. Try menshelp line
This is what makes my blood boil when I see bloody one sided ads about "Women's Domestic Violence". You never see anything for men who are suffering at the hands of psychotic homicidal or worse lying women who fake DV
In 2021-2022, 18 men were killed by their partners. 60 women were killed by their partners in the same time frame. More than 3 times as many. Homicide by partner is the leading cause of death in pregnant women. On average, one woman per week is killed by a partner in Australia. That's why domestic violence ads are "one sided", because women are more often victims. But sure, you can take the ads, I'd much prefer to take the lower risk of domestic violence. We can trade and I won't even whine online about how unfair it is that men get ads. In return, you get to be three times more likely to be murdered by a partner! Yay! Pretty good deal, ay?
The point is that there are hardly any men's DV shelters as the subject says in the first place. Mens deaths are always gonna be lower due to men's physical strength being the likely cause of lower deaths. As for the amount of unreported men's DV, well never see the true number cuz men don't report it to police or emergency services cuz they're not taken seriously by anyone, they just keep to themselves and struggle on for there to be enough statistics to build up. You want to talk deaths? Ok, let's go there. Due to the lack of male DV or any services for that mattee, there generally a higher suicide rates for men. Here's the breakdown of suicides in Australia for 2021 by gender: Males: 2,358 deaths by suicide Females: 786 deaths by suicide
More than half of the men killed were also domestic abusers killed in self defence.
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>shelters as culturally and financially its stastically occurs less. used to run homeless shelter myself, it is really hard to legally run a homeless shelter in Australia, full stop, let alone one for only men, I was taught at school that boys can never be victims of rape, even at the hands of adult men. (Roman Catholic all boys school),
I have an idea about why your Roman Catholic all boy school might have been pushing that lie...
"Statistically occurs less" is wrong. More like "Often not reported", I wouldn't be surprised if the numbers are way higher than one things because guys have to "Man Up" about their problem and rarely ever talk about those problems.
No one is doubting male DV occurs. Statistically occurs less than women is 100% correct. to think any different is laughable to be honest.
Clued up people know male DV occurs, society thinks there's no such thing as male DV and that's the problem. Those DV ads need to just be more generic, regardless if your male, female or whatever flavour gender you want to be of the week \[eye rolls\]
Look at the number of women killed by their partners as opposed to men killed by their partners. That statistic alone shows that it's more than just "men don't come forward, dv actually happens to them just as much". It just doesn't. Sure it happens, and sure it's probably under-reported, but it does not happen nearly as much. Otherwise there'd be just as many men killed by their partners.
There's quite a few men's shelters in the northern suburbs. Have a Google of men's shelters reservior. One on barton St reservior from memory
Thanks for the lead. I had a look but seems like those shelters are for the homeless. Whilst that is a worthy cause and I may only have that option, domestic violence was a cause close to my partner's heart so I would really like to honour him by trying to find a worthy cause for his possessions.
Ah yep. I only know of them as I am familiar with their clients. I'm so sorry for your loss. I wonder if you could contact for eg, haven home safe, and ask a general question about men's domestic violence support (you could say it's for a friend) then they might give you a specific lead. Hope you find it 🙏
This is disingenuous and shameful
How?
There's one called Bethlehem Community in Reservoir (many of them are religious ...). Another service that offered supper for men is Haven Home Safe in Preston Was falling asleep when I posted my earlier comment and couldn't provide specifics
I can’t help with DV shelter suggestions, but often mental health wards need clothing donations. My old ward had a “boutique” of donated clothing (not in VIC). A lot of people who are admitted don’t have anything with them aside from what they’re wearing, and won’t necessarily have family/friends to bring any clothing for them, and may not have financial resources to purchase clothing or be able to leave the ward to buy clothes for a little while.
Vinnies in Albury run a men’s shelter.Very clean and civilised.They Will be grateful.
Yeah for Men it’s a homeless crisis shelter..
With the lack of services compared to women's shelters, I think it'll be hard to find or are extremely out of the way.
There are lots of men's shelters, but not DV specific.
Abuse and violence towards an intimate partner or family member is an ongoing crisis in Australia, with women experiencing violence at the hands of an intimate partner at a much higher rate than men. However, men can often experience violence at the hands of an intimate partner or family member too. If you are experiencing violence, there is help available to you. 1800RESPECT can refer you to services that can help. Xx
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Your edit and original comment are just full of baseless claims. Might be why the down votes.
The “short life span” is an aggregate, and is not a form of oppression. What?
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Or the stupid antics of youth? Men ignoring their health and refusing to see a doctor?
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Yes. I just find the framing of “shorter life span = women have it better” to be intellectually dishonest, as well as a short leap to Manosphere shit, which is why most women are tetchy about it.
Well, it’s because most DV’s are by men. And most communication to cops are male DV perpetrators trying to lie and flip the truth. Makes it so sad when there is a real female DV perpetrator. It’s got nothing to do with “being worthless”. Of course that is not true.
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I’m sorry you’ve felt let down & treated with negative bias at some point. I truly don’t think they’re trying to start a debate, more answering why there’s no men’s DV shelters. As far as I know there is alternate crisis accommodation for men, including if they’re fleeing with their children. If you know anyone who’s going through it I highly recommend speaking with a support service ASAP ❤️ But yes, what the person responding said is factually correct. That women are statistically much more likely to be the victims of reported DV, and that often perpetrators will play the victim.
Very lovely, thanks for typing this out!
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You keep saying you don’t want to make it men vs women and “just want to talk about men” but also want to slip in that lesbian relationships are more violent, without any citation, and then don’t want to talk about it anymore, just men? Uh…. Okay.
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Your source doesn’t even say that so maybe you could just stop making shit up
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What do you suggest would be a positive step towards de-stigmatising the issue of domestic violence towards men?
Source for that stat?
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I mean that the most violent relationships are between lesbian women. Can’t think of a well-known example where it has resulted in a death (certainly not to say it hasn’t happened), but can think of endless examples of DV resulting in homicide in hetero relationships
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Can I please have a link to the relevant article? Am genuinely curious about those figures
Fact checked for your convenience: What it [actually says](https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/nisvs_sofindings.pdf) is that 44% of lesbian respondents reported having experienced IPV in their lifetime *by any perpetrator*. For lesbian women, 67.4% reported having only female perpetrators, and for bisexual women, 89.5% reported having only male perpetrators. The lifetime prevalence of IPV for lesbian women compared to heterosexual women was also noted as not being statistically significant.
This isn't true at all. Hopefully if you feel this way, you can unlearn that. Vulnerability is cool af.
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That's shit, and I'm sorry that happened. As a woman, I wish MORE men would show more emotiun. Most women I know try to encourage the men in their life to show their vulnerable side, to show more emotion. Is that women a boomer? because it seems like a boomer attitude, tbh
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Sounds pretty toxic. Especially for the type of organisation.
Woah. What a misguided take. I’ve had one hothead at work do something similar, turns out she was just a troublemaker trying to manipulate me. Sounds like a bad apple.
No debate starting at all here. I’m not sure what has perpetuated the myth to you that society only likes masculine men. There are some toxic circles that try to tell us that. But there are plenty of other places that don’t. I promise you mate!
It's a fairly common experience of men that they are told they need to be more emotional/vulnerable but when they do they are either dismissed or ridiculed. In my teens I had struggled with mild depression and self confidence issues, during my 20's I went through a short phase of agoraphobic tendencies and realised it was a depressive episode and sought help. In my 40's I was feeling down and struggling with self confidence and realised I was starting a depressive phase again. I told my My ex wife what was going on and that I would be ok but just needed a little support. Her response was " just get over it ". I never opened up to her again on anything. We only lasted another 9 months.
Don't worry about the down votes. If you go against "the narrative", you get hammered. It's fairly common on Reddit to be down voted for commenting on the struggles of men, because apparently most men are evil. Never mind the differences between men and women are small, including things like psychopathy.
No sorry there is nothing to help male victims of DV. and this includes divorce R*PE
Victims of crime/victims assistance program, mens line, st kilda crisis centre, 1800 respect. There is also a range of lgbtiq+ services such as rainbow door, Thorne Harbour health, etc. There is CASA for all, police, IVOs.
I just had to look that term up and I honestly can't believe it exists in real life. I do think the people who use the term are probably the kinds of people who weren't exactly innocent in why courts would award custody to the other parent, though!
Apparently it doesn't happen, it's all one way traffic
Victoria has one male domestic violence crisis centre, women have 100s this is part of our major issue with men’s mental health and men not reporting female abusers. But you know men can’t be victims.
Maybe you could just provide me the name of said crisis centre instead of turning this into a men vs women thing. Clearly I understand that men's shelters are hard to find (otherwise I wouldn't need to ask for help here). Just need help on where to donate clothes.
I’ll try and find the info on it, I seen it on the news a few months ago, it’s a bloke who runs it off donations and it’s always gonna be a men vs women thing until we can actually help blokes none of the male female bullshit will end.
There are no shelters for men. Plenty for women. But yeah we live in PaTrIaRcHy...
Go and research those womens shelters. Who started them? Women. Who volunteered? Women. Who donated clothes and products? Women. Who lobbied and fundraised? Women. Women protecting women. You feel strongly, that's great. Start a shelter for men. Get the ball rolling yourself and stop blaming women. Even when men are the victim in dv situations, the aggressor is often another man. How about men start protecting other men?
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By who? No one is suggesting men dont need help. We do get annoyed when people whinge about women having them. Because more women are victims and women are the ones who worked hard and started the shelters. It's a very defeatist attitude that you have. 'Well, someone might say something mean to me so I won't try at all'. Do you think these womens shelters in the early years were supported and never experienced abuse or threats? Of course they were threatened and abused and mocked and yet they kept going. If you really wanted to, you could.
I didn't see anyone complaining that women have shelters, just people pointing out that people claim men are valued there are heaps of women's shelters compared to men's. Your right, men should be pushing for shelters and be pushing to get involved and help but look at the negative reaction people got for ask why there is such a disparity.
But they aren't asking genuinely, its intellectually dishonest questioning. They know the answer, more often than not, the 'questioning' is more of a bitter statement, implying women get treated better by society and that men are oppressed and abused more than women. Look through the comments in this post, look at the ones that have been downvoted. They have been downvoted because the way its stated or framed is less of a question and more of a gender based comment. If people were to ask genuinely, they would not get a negative reaction. No one here is saying men shouldn't have refuges. Take note in this comment section that when people answer their 'questions', the questioner doubles down. I also think if you were to look in the comment history of the 'questioners', you would probably see a pattern of negativity regarding women.
Women really had to fight to get refuges. They weren't just handed to them. If men need them, there's nothing stopping them from fighting for them either.
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Stop with the victimology. Women have had to fight for everything, and we still do. I'm convinced that many men hate women. I make that assumption based on the DV, and murder statistics...Fight for what you want, we've always had to.
Men like you always brigade posts about DV against women with “it happens to men too!” then on a post about supporting male victims, you make it about female victims. Almost like you don’t actually care about DV, you just don’t like women.
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Yall make it so easy to hate you.
I mean… the patriarchy IS the reason men are almost always the abuser in abusive relationships
Always the abuser? You sure? I find your comment abusive.
You skim read bro! I said almost always.
That's not true
It’s true. Source: am a family violence specialist
1 in 3 victims of domestic abuse are men and mothers are more likely to abuse their kids than fathers
False
It’s true. Source: am a family violence specialist
>men are almost always the abuser What a load of bs misandristic statement is this? Both men and women can be equally abusive.
It’s true, dude. Source: am a family violence specialist
So you must not be that good at your job for dismissing the enormous amount of male domestic violence victims. You must be either a troll or a misandrist.
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The very fact that you say that is misandristic you know. Both misandry and misogyny exist in this world. Both of them are harmful and awful and should stop existing. So kindly, stop being a sexist prick and get some empathy.
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Misandry is hate or/and prejudice against men. Can you comfortably say that men do not face any injustices, hate or prejudice ? >Misandry is a term men made up to try and feel some kind of superiority over women highlighting their own oppression. Also you're extremely misguided and sexist if you think that. Men face a lot of social and legal issues that women don't. And plenty of issues are not gendered and both sexes suffer from them.
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The rates are actually closer to 50:50 - get a grip.
There is not a SINGLE ONE for men. SINGLE one...
Is there a breast cancer support foundation for men? Because men can get breast cancer. No, there isn’t. Why? Because the prominent demographic for both breast cancer and victims of domestic violence, is women.
1/16 men experience DV. 1/16 men don't get breast cancer
1 in 3 victims of domestic abuse are men it definitely for more than 1/16 men.
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Might be because the statistics clearly demonstrate this.
Doesn't change the fact that men still need help and no government is willing to help.
The government didn't start the womens refuges and barely fund them now. Women did. Those women fought hard and volunteered their own time and money. How about men do the same thing? Get the ball rolling, start one yourself.
Throughout the year these refuges have ongoing campaigns and fund raising initiatives going to help meet the ongoing needs of the refuge, or to gather resources to support the people who are coming through the refuge and have nothing but the clothes on their backs when they arrive. Women who are connected to these refuges in all sorts of capacities including women who have previously been through the refuge and have benefited from their time their and as a result were able to get the help and support and get their life back on track contribute. They then rally and get their family, friends, colleagues etc to support the refuge because they all know how much that refuge changed and supported that woman, and enabled her to get a fresh start in life. If women and their communities weren't running, volunteering, donating and supporting all these refuges, many of them would cease to be able to offer the support to women and their children that they currently do.
Exactly. The women connected to the refuges work bloody hard. That's what frustrates me about the men who complain about there being shelters for women and not men. They want women to do the work for them on this as well. Why dont they stand up and get one going? Why dont they use their connections and resources to help fund one? Because they dont actually want to do it themselves, they'd much rather be bitter and resentful and blame women.
Well why don’t men do something about it? The only reason women’s shelters were created because women made it happen. Instead of whining, take action.
Statistics only show the data on reported DV Incidents and is skewed by the fact women are more likely to be injured. My last ex regularly punched me to get her way, I never returned the violence. Eventually had enough and cops were called. She was arrested only to claim I hit her daughter and then I was arrested and her charges dismissed. Going through the process of defending myself took 18 months before it was admitted in court by her daughter that I didn't touch her. The stats around that would still be 1 male perpetrator, 1 female victim. EDIT: not trying to suggest women are or are not the majority of victims, just that the data is skewed by a range of factors so we can't accurately say how bad it is.
Men like you always brigade posts about DV against women with “it happens to men too!” then on a post about supporting male victims, you make it about female victims. Almost like you don’t actually care about DV, you just don’t like women.
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I was surprised I was not reading a fresh post in r/circlejerkaustralia AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Conspiracy generally won’t get upvotes particularly when there’s mountains of evidence to the contrary
What conspiracy?
Ignore, he's probably high again
Is this bait? I feel like this is bait.
How is it bait?
You mean woman's right?
And what purpose would men's clothing serve at a woman's shelter?
It might not be as common, but DV against men does happen you clown.
Actually it's very common. But due to a combination of unjust laws, social conditions, and biology (like how men are stronger on average than women) they are underreported or not taken as serious