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[deleted]

He asked EVERY DAMN DAY??? Jeez šŸ˜­


Pro_Moriarty

No - you sent me a spreadsheet No - you sent me a spreadsheet Repeat ad infinitum


fidgetypenguin123

Nothing gets someone's sexual interest going more than sending them a spreadsheet on the things they do/don't do. So hot.


[deleted]

No - you filed for divorce


oliviaplays08

People aren't allowed to not want sex?


itsheadfelloff

I vaguely remember this post, the thing that stuck out most to me was this guyā€™s wife would just do a gym session then climb into bed without showering.


KomithEr

no wonder she feels gross all the time


Lonttu

WHY WOULD ANYONE DO THAT?!?!?


MathematicianSea6618

Because she does NOT want to have sex with her husband. Clearly, she finds him unattractive or undesirable for whatever reason. Sounds like they need to work on their marriage to re ignite any spark they had or maybe look elsewhere


alevere

When I don't want to have sex, it's usually due to me feeling unattractive. I know my husband finds me attractive, but I feel bloated or smelly or any number of things depending on how insecure I'm feeling. Not because of him. She could be similar? Or maybe there's a 50/50 split? Harsh to say it's all on the guy...


aT-0-Mx

Some people like it.


JudgeScorpio

To avoid sex? šŸ¤”


BirdieBronze

Sometimes when I get off a 11 hour shift I'm too broken to shower even though I know it would make me feel better but then I just die in my bed, end up feeling bad about it, and washing all my bedding the next day.


bootyhunter69420

She's too tired or has a headache


thwgrandpigeon

based on reddit posts from the past couple of days, i'm pretty sure this guy doesn't do any chores around the house.


Theruby_phoenix

Yeah and it's proven that women are less likely to get turned on and want sex if the guy doesn't do any chores. I would understand you don't wanna have sex with someone who acts more like a son than your husband.


LeBambole

The wife should respond with a spreadsheet of all the chores he didnā€™t help with. Maybe a link to sign up for the local gym tooā€¦


Howling_Fang

Here's the thing. We don't know HOW he is asking. Is he setting the mood, giving a heads up before hand, or just being like 'stop what you are doing and lets bang' The reason I bring this up is that it is statistically proven that woman are less likely to have a spontaneous sex drive. Meaning, they aren't going to be turned on at the drop of a hat. Often times, it's takes effort, and yes, some planning. Communication is key, not blaming, not sulking, not asking until the answer is 'yes' to get him off her back.


RaukkM

>Here's the thing. We don't know HOW he is asking. Is he setting the mood, giving a heads up before hand, or just being like 'stop what you are doing and lets bang' The funny thing is, we do know, because he documented it. Reason: "I'm in the middle of watching my TV show." Also, he complained about how she said they didn't have time, but then they were 20 minutes early. So, if he thinks that prep, foreplay, sex, and cleanup should take less than 20 minutes, there's a pretty obvious reason that she's saying no most days.


iantayls

What do you mean, your wife doesnā€™t appreciate you ripping her out of her hobbies to gift you some daily rations of sex?


Di-Vanci

Plus in those 20min she needed to shower and get ready (it sounds like they're eating out so getting ready probably includes hair and makeup)


stickkim

Yeah, if you ask I might say, ā€œokā€ or I might say not right now or I have to pee or something. If you try to set a mood and maybe I dunno, give me a kiss or two, I might actually *want* to have sex.


Bluemelli

Yeah and no it doesn't matter is one of them isn't in the mood, the other one shouldn't act like this


[deleted]

Redditors when their wife believes in consent


TurboLaika

Yes, this is sad.


DaRealHugeYakman

I wouldnā€™t sleep with someone who doesnā€™t delete unnecessary columns either.


LittleLightcap

This guy doesn't excel at Excel or fucking.


excel958

Iā€™m only here because of my name


BobSagieBauls

That shit bugged me thanks for hating it too


Known-Potential-3603

This is the best comment!!


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Bootleg_Rascal_

Thatā€™s what he just said


Professional-Rip-187

I think this is exact the same he just said


FreezyChan

i do believe this is completely identical to what he just said


_sLiPpErYgOo

If you check the previous comment, you just said the same thing.


DBZswagger21

Fuck off bot.


[deleted]

This has to be the least fuckable man alive.


Impossible_Garbage_4

Nah she fucked him three times in a a month and a half. Thatā€™s an average of 2 times a month. Thatā€™s not a lot but itā€™s more than some people get. Heā€™s still not fuckable but not the least fuckable


[deleted]

Thatā€™s true, I do think producing this spreadsheet decreased his sex appeal dramatically though!!


Impossible_Garbage_4

Oh definitely. It decreased his fuckability stat


[deleted]

Also, a friends re-run was a more attractive proposition! šŸ˜¬


KiNgPiN8T3

Get a load of captain ā€˜sex 3 times in 2 monthsā€™ over here. Virtually a porn star.


magic-money-tree

Cheers for this. My gf has been annoyed at me over something trivial and weā€™re currently sat in silence in the lounge. This comment made me laugh out loud. Breaking the icy silence. She asked me ā€œwhatā€™s so funnyā€ and I šŸ‘ showed her this comment. Now weā€™re currently doing doggy.


_shulgin

Like, live right now bro? Ayyyy high five it's like we're havin an orgy! Say hello to your girlfriend from me :)


gigglybutt22

šŸ„‡


MasterTroller3301

Can confirm, Iā€™m the girl.


[deleted]

Wait actually?


MasterTroller3301

Mhm. We are currently dogging


Don-777

Yep can confirm šŸ‘šŸ¼ I'm the Cameraman


W4FF13_G0D

I can vouch for him, I am the camera.


Pro_Moriarty

Can vouch for the camera, i'm the pornhub streaming account.


BlockCraftedX

I can vouch, I'm the bed


Bronze-Soul

If you're doing doggy, whos doing doggy to me?


jayrock306

Excuse me do you mind if I post this to the ihavesex subreddit?


randomisedjew

r/ihavesex


dirtyghettodig

A true man in his 30s. If the misses found this guarantee all the excuses would be "because you made a fucken spreadsheets"


maiden_burma

I always excitedly show my fiancee my spreadsheets with all their cool programming in them and she always doesnt care :P OPs spreadsheet sucks though. But I guess it does what it intended to do


Cheesieblaster

And what about all the times he denied going down on her? Finding her clit? Attempting to make her orgasm? Giving her a massage that lasted more than 20 seconds...


AceUniverse8492

The dude seemed to think that those extra 20min were enough time to bang, clean up, shower, and get re-dressed to go out so clearly he doesn't reciprocate.


astroidfishing

So glad we don't gotta deal with that, amirite?


KrackasaurusRex

He could have just rubbed one out instead of making this as an attempt to guilt her about not wanting to fuck his goofy ass


Fattatties

Yo he sounds like a pest. No wonder she isnā€™t feeling it


imtotallyahumanbeing

I think denied is a gross way to put it. She doesn't owe him sex.


amaya-aurora

I donā€™t see whatā€™s so bad about saying no to sex?


just-me-yaay

It's literally a right. Nobody should be forced to have sex when they don't want to- thatā€™s rape.


amaya-aurora

Exactly! Consent is key.


WHOOPS_WHOOPSIE

Time to add ā€˜fuck offā€™ to the excuse list


SpellDostoyevsky

Looks like 10th time's the charm, thats a .100 batting average, either you're out of your league or something is off with your swing.


Mellafee

My thought too. No one is gonna skip 9 out of 10 games if youā€™re an all-star player.


[deleted]

šŸš©šŸš©šŸš©


MD564

Yeah what's the point of this - she should start just saying yes even if she doesn't want to?


Pantsman_Crothers

Sounds healthy..


UserLevelOver9000

Now cross reference how many times you jerked it when you NO for an answerā€¦


[deleted]

Every time. Is that even a question?


struggleworm

Sometimes even when I forget to ask. When she goes for a walk or to the store, when she watches that show of hers, when sheā€™s sleeping beside me, when I go to the shed to put the mower away, lunch break at work, just leave my desk for no reason other than to jerk it. Oh and right before she surprises me and asks for sex.


DulyNoted_

> when I go to the shed to put the mower away Whackin' Off In My Toolshed


Freemason1979

Let's be honest. Even on the Yes days as well.


Rorschach0717

Yep, even if you had sex.


iminspainwithoutthe

This is a weird thing to make a spreadsheet about. If someone's not wanting to, you shouldn't guilt them over it or imply their reasons are invalid "excuses." If it's causing relationship problems, sit down and have a conversation about it.


bagel0verl0rd

that poor woman


[deleted]

Just saw this meme hours ago and it was the other way around the woman sent the man the spreadsheet


Clever-crow

Interesting. Sometimes I feel like we are part of a social experiment. How many comments and reposts will one version get over the other? Iā€™ve seen the man version reposted twice now but I still havenā€™t seen the womanā€™s version.


gerbilshower

was it about how many times she asked him to do the dishes vs. how many times the dishes actually got done? i may not be an A student but im definitely better than 2 out of 47...


sethmod

I actually see a lot of value here, but you have to replace ā€œexcuseā€ with ā€œreasonā€. Would benefit from applying generic categories that apply to more than one entry (ā€œI donā€™t feel sexyā€) and then taking on the big stacks with deliberate, loving action. For example, it looks like several have to do with how she feels about herself. Some thoughtful compliments might help. If she needs more zone-out time, then any way you can increase her available free time? Upside is she gets happier and you get laid.


[deleted]

This was really well said dude


ArmyOfRoombas

This guy has a happy wife for sure.


SprintingWolf

I like the way you think.


kitto__katsu

Genius! Itā€™s honestly so disrespectful to call her reasons ā€œexcuses.ā€ Framing from the 1950s, when your family was your property and before marital rape was a crime.


ExpertAccident

ā€œMy poor guyā€ because she didnā€™t want to have sex? Jesus Christ I knew this sub was going downhill but is this really the ā€œhumourā€ this sub has devolved to? ā€œWoman has a choice in whether or not she wants to participate in sexual intercourse, sucks for menā€


Failing_MentalHealth

This is why she doesnā€™t have sex with him. Edit: Even someone like me who is sex positive wouldnā€™t put up with this guy. When someone prioritizes sex this much over their partner, itā€™s honestly pathetic. Nothing says ā€œI love youā€ like spreadsheets to shove in your face later as ā€œevidenceā€.


Reasonable_Ad3523

![gif](giphy|lkdH8FmImcGoylv3t3|downsized)


0n1oN_71

Perhaps donā€™t ask for sex every day???


SgtMatters

I would be so annoyed by the topic. How is it not obvious that this constant asking is making it even less likely for me to want to have sex?!


Strict-Amoeba1791

Iā€™ve ran that experiment. After we had our two kids, my wifeā€™s libido tanked. Rock bottom. At 23, I was lucky to have sex once a month when before the kids it was ~5x/week. She said it was because I ask all the time. So I stopped asking and didnā€™t get sex for over 6 months before I finally broke and said something. She had an ā€œahaā€ moment and consulted her doctor. Hormonal testing and a prescription later, weā€™re back to mostly normal.


[deleted]

Exactly. Once had a partner that would ask me *constantly* 3-4 times a day Never have I been so opposed to have sex. Just killed the vibe


mzm316

Plus it compounds. You say yes once because you feel bad saying no so much, it feels kinda gross because youā€™re not in the mood, so you say no more because you donā€™t want to feel gross. Rinse and repeat


MercDante

The real crimes are not showering and watching friends


Jurekis

Bro not getting any hint šŸ’€


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


iantayls

Maybe, his incessant nagging for sex isnā€™t very attractive Friendly reminder that if an excuse needs to be made at all, itā€™s an unhealthy relationship. ā€œNot in the moodā€ should always be enough


madlydense

Maybe he's asking at all the wrong times. So she has certain shows she likes, wait until they finish and then ask you might get a yes. She says no when she is feeling tired/ sweaty / gross a lot, avoid these times. Damn, the man made a spreadsheet but didn't even bother to try and interpret the data! I wonder what was similar about the yes times, pity he didnt analyse these in detail (maybe he'd be a lot luckier if he did). Instead of being petty maybe he needed to sit down and communicate with his wife.


Ludwiglikeswigs

red red red flag


Sn0zbear

ā€œIā€™m still tender from yesterdayā€ just tells me that sex is painful for her :/


mzm316

Probably because this dude engages in zero foreplay and just jackhammers her for 5 minutes.


Sn0zbear

Yeah, tbf he did think 20 minutes was enough for sex, shower and getting ready for dinner lol


[deleted]

She ain't attracted to him anymore.


derplurkins

Thats what happened to me. Told me it was my fault for 6 years before coming clean. Still getting my confidence back after our divorce.


NeonMoth229

Or she could just not like sex?


elsiethefairy

Dude has some issues DOCUMENTING thisā€¦ reminds me of my narcissistic ex except he was the one denying me (did not document) lol


elsiethefairy

BUT he would document other little habits I did on his notes app. Like I sometimes have anxious ticks and he would literally time them and write in his notes when he thought they would happen. It made them worse, obviouslyā€¦


shadowkill-r

This guys behavior is extremely concerning like who tf does this?


Bootleg_Rascal_

Every time I see this I canā€™t help but think it was just made as a meme.


Own-Flight-9974

Yep, it doesn't seem that malicious either way. Just some funny/shitpost notes made over a few months. Now if it was a years long spreadsheet detailing her every action and excuse, then there would be a problem.


clouddreams7

Seriously. This is concerning behavior for sure. Nobody owes anyone sex - including your spouse. Now, if itā€™s just a case of mismatched libidos, they can try to work on that or come up with another plan. But maybe sheā€™s telling him no because sheā€™s turned off by this psychotic behaviorā€¦


Tsukiko615

Also 2 of the times where sheā€™s said yes are times where he hasnā€™t asked for a few days. It might be that constantly asking is putting her off


Novel-Place

I saw this posted elsewhere too and the comments not getting why this approach is so unbelievably out of pocket, no matter what, are unreal. And so many people saying heā€™s probably tried asking forever to be met with the same response, saying itā€™s like their situation. Do they not talk to their partners?! If youā€™re not having sex and not happy about it, you communicate! Look up dead bedrooms and see if any of the factors apply to you. Do you not pull your weight around the house? Chances are your partner isnā€™t attracted to you anymore. Do you only express physical affection when you want sex? Bingo.


xxprincessnikki

Thank god someone else thinks this bc I was very concerned reading these comments


brunpikk

Maybe he has expressed the lack of sex and the rejection, and she said "but we have sex all the time"


General_Jawa

Thank god someone else thinks this


_OverTone_

This why I will always advocate for couples to have similar sexual compatibility. One person wanting it way more than the other is cause for alot of problems.


[deleted]

How to get divorced 101


InsideHangar18

Itā€™s fucking insane he made a spreadsheet, but at the same time, stuff like this is part of why I donā€™t ever want to get married, all I ever see is 9 people out of 10 talking about how miserable they are.


welshfach

They're the only ones leaving reviews. All the happily married ones are too busy making Power BI dashboards of their sexploits.


SprintingWolf

I felt this way too. Itā€™s actually really really easy though. You see what happens is instead of me spending what I would assume to be AT LEAST an hour making a spreadsheet of all of the things heā€™s done wrong. We sit down and calmly address the problem. 9 times out of 10 it works. Like a charm. Usually takes all of 10 minutes of our day to resolve conflict. Thereā€™s been a few times where itā€™s been heated but thatā€™s just part of being human. Never took longer than a day to resolve though. Because we communicate. As clearly and effectively as we can. I know you werenā€™t exactly looking for it. But my best advice to you is communicate very openly early on. If they cannot have mature conversations about big feelings, then they arenā€™t ready for a life partnership.


ChristianMom35

The fact that the man thinks this spreadsheet is foreplay could be his problem.


tynman35

So for every 1 yes, 9 no's follow it. So just ask 9 times a day and you'll have sex every day.


gr8gibsoni

This comment fucks šŸ˜‚


hidinginthenight

Only one time out of ten


[deleted]

Iā€™m sorry but he asks like every day to every second day They are married At some point in a relationship the sex drive might decrease a lot. In some long term relationships you get used to your partner and just donā€™t feel the same attraction anymore (had that with my ex, in the end we didnā€™t have sex in 3 month. I just didnā€™t find him attractive anymore and he mostly declined when asked and that killed the relationship in the end because I could use sex at least once a day and no sex was just a deal breaker for me.) Important question: did they talk about it?


Wild-Card-215

Well shit, if my SO asks for sex every day or damn close to it I would say no a lot too


SgtMatters

This needs to be higher


Viviaana

this is so fucking creepy and pathetic


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


dft_com

A few years later..."Why are you leaving me? " Been there done that.


MarchingKestrel001

Because of the spreadsheet


struggleworm

Because of the implication


bayzih

because of the entanglement


ohadish

there doesnt need to be an excuse to not want sex. if she doesnt want to have sex she doesnt have to


meowmix79

Maybe he doesnā€™t know how to ask nicely.


B33rP155

And maybe she just doesnā€™t want it


Younger54

Well, hope the relationship is based on more than sexual gratification.


groovynermal

Take a hint? Maybe the two of you should talk about relationships, sex and why you suck at it


General_Kenobi240

Does it bug anyone else that he didnā€™t align the ā€œExcuseā€ box with the text?


TheZetaMonster

Gee, can't imagine why she wouldn't want to sleep with a catch like that?


biggreenlampshade

Guys will literally work on a spreadsheet for three months in order to not have to talk to their spouse about their feelings. Maybe he could analyse his own fuckin data and stop asking her for sex when shes in the middle of watching a show?


chaussurre

These comments are concerning. You guys realize she can say no to sex anytime without giving any reasons, right? She doesn't owe him anything, right?


Bootleg_Rascal_

Nobody thinks she owes him anything. Most of the comments are saying that itā€™s weird he made a spreadsheet


Angurie_Chan

You realize that sex is a vital part of a relationship and if one of the couple members suffers because the other never wants to do it, it's not his own problem but a problem for the couple? (And before you say anything, I have female friends that had the same problem as this guy)


[deleted]

He isnt wrong, ofc a spreadsheet is too much guys I dont have to explain that, however, he should leave her. Ahe doesnt love him. Its funny how people think the man should respect the womans needs but never the other way around, cool if you dont want to, there is the door.


Angurie_Chan

He should leave her and she should leave him if both of them are annoyed by that. Sex isn't everything but is an important part of a relationship. And I mean it in every way, even if a person is asexual for example, it's ok, but you have to find someone that is able to accept this and has a libido that can fit your rythm. It's quite obvious that a woman can say "no" when she wants but that's all the point: if she wants to do it 3 times in 2 months and he wants to every 2 or 3 days, there is no way they can overcome this without one of them pretending it's all ok when it's not.


LazyCasual0alt

r/deadbedrooms


[deleted]

She's really patient about him pestering her with the same question every day.


ToasterBathPillow

She sure watches a lot of shows huh


[deleted]

She clearly has very low self-esteem, and he's clearly a psychopath.


MyLinksMakeNoSense

yes, clearly. very obvious from this spreadsheet. adds up.


struggleworm

Yes. We have all the facts to assess both parties psychological state of mind. It also appears he is left-handed


Lonttu

It is also obvious from the way this spreadsheet has been formed that the suspect uses a mid-range gaming PC from 2018 and razer branded peripherals.


Pro_Moriarty

And owns 3 distinct pieces of Burberry clothing


SquishPosh

She's cheating on him with someone from her gym.


gettogero

If that's the case the guy can just time travel to when she does want to have sex tho, it's dated 2014


Lonttu

Nah nah, I predicted his PC setup 4 years into the future from how he visualised the spreadsheet. There's just so much to read from one picture.


Mike_Fluff

What absolute cringe from the dude's side. Absolute F-Tier behaviour.


[deleted]

Hygiene seems to be a real issue with her


gside876

Probably shouldnā€™t ask for it every day, but then again, I know girls who would be cool with having sex every day. Still a nightmare scenario


normalizeyourmom

this is 100% the type of guy that would refuse to go down on her


Lick_Mike_Hawk

Psychopath behavior if we being honest


2x2Master1240

Maybe this person should think about why this woman is making up excuses? Maybe *he* is the problem?


Alien_Deity

It's her choice tho?


GynePig

So this man knows his wife doesn't have a libido as high as his and instead of openly talking about it, he pesters her every day and keeps track of her replies to guilt trip her. What a nice husband. I can imagine that one reason she doesn't want as much sex is that he's not very interested in making it a good time for her.


earlgreyteacakes

Poor *GUY*? Ffs. Leave the woman alone, let it happen naturally. Donā€™t HAVE A WRITTEN RECORD LIKE A CREEP as to why she does not want to fool around that night. Jesus Christ šŸ¤¦ā€ā™€ļø


Eg0Break3r

Imagine working out, getting all sweaty, and then marinating in it over night... šŸ¤¢ She is definitely gross.


Skillet-24

I showed this to my girlfriend, and she said ā€œoh I didnā€™t know I could use Friends as an excuseā€.


checkfanboy

Ok Iā€™m throwing this out to see what you all with long term partners think. With my long term partner this is very much frequency of sexual activity. For her itā€™s about twice a month she wants to and it usually coincides with her ovulation cycle. She gets horny right before ovulating and right before sheā€™s about to go on her period. This is about every two weeks just like this spreadsheet suggests. Anyone else experience the same? Not to rule out that she just isnā€™t attracted to her lover anymore but I think thereā€™s some biological stuff in there too.


Maleficent-Spell4170

Time to see the wifeā€™s response


ManOfEating

Most of those are legitimate reasons, the rest are him not getting the hint lol


SnooGoats7133

Does this smell like future divorce to anyone else?


CzechYourDanish

Lmao yeah because this'll definitely make her say yes more often. Small d energy


TurningIntoAshes

If the guy thought 20 min was enough time to have sex then I am not surprised she doesnt want to do it. Also asking your wife to have sex every single day and then put all that in the excel... Poor girl.


The_Bored_General

At least bro respected just the ā€œnoā€


welshfach

Well, that's a low bar


fidgetypenguin123

"Poor guy"? This woman's husband made a fucking spreadsheet about it like a crazy person. Maybe he needs to be putting that energy into why his wife doesn't want to have sex with him to begin with lol. But I have a feeling part of it is because he's someone that would make a fucking spreadsheet about this...


Angrycactushead

This. If my man had time to do this but not put in the effort to butter me up and make me want to jump his bones, why would I? If I was this woman, Iā€™d be packing my bags. This man is a screaming red flag.


DisabledMuse

Right?! That seems super creepy to me, like he doesn't respect her reasons for not wanting sex every dang day.


Emberily123

This guy gives me major ick vibes.


symbolic_claim_

Funny thing is she shouldnā€™t need an excuse to say noā€¦


Critical-Ad-7094

In a 6 week period, man's gotten laid 3 times. He's got a much better average than I do and I dknt feel the need to make a spreadsheet. Than again I'm not married, but on the other hand I AM petty AF.


drFeverblisters

Iā€™d make a spread sheet too but itā€™s easy to just remember zero. If the number changes Iā€™m confident Iā€™ll remember


welshfach

His frequency of whining for sex reminds me of a grumpy, tired toddler constantly holding out their arms and demanding 'up, up' while you're trying to make dinner, or bath the baby, or mow the lawn. I honestly wouldn't fuck him either.


Draigi0n

She should divorce him.


SprintingWolf

Itā€™s gross that men think theyā€™re owed sex


Curlytots95

The mistake the guy made, is when they did the deed he immediately asks the next day like wtf, can you guys just not last a few days at least. Itā€™s really off putting to us women when you constantly ask and pester and that spreadsheet is a huge cringe too me lol.


Illustrious-Big-1654

Stolen meme or repost


Galiendzoz

To be fair it would get annoying if the dude asked her to have sex that many times in 2 months.


BBQGlazedSeabass

Everyday though? I mean, damnā€¦


hidinginthenight

Apparently I donā€™t understand this at all. Three times in six weeks doesnā€™t sound bad to me, like once every two weeks. How do you even get time for more? (To be fair, I am a teenager and a virgin and asexual so I know very little on the subject but like. Idk it shocks me how much people have sex)


Electrical-Ebb-3485

Just a reminder: sexless marriages are VERY common: https://bedbible.com/sexless-marriage-statistics/


More_Twist9517

He 'd be adding a couple of more 'no s ' Reason: for making that exel sheet.


blob_ditddit

EVERY DAY?


[deleted]

3 times in a month?! Lucky man for marriedšŸ€