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turocedo

He works at my local coffee shop.


jaimeyeah

And wears a rolled beanie


pertangamcfeet

He does? He's been my weed dealer for ages.


FanceyPantalones

He gets us


briboz

He gets us coffee


FanceyPantalones

That's good, lol. You should pitch that commercial to them. They'd probably use it


DJDadJock

By turning water into coffee?


Golf-Ill

And he sells weed super cheap and of good quality.


AdConsistent6002

He has his app alongside Mark Wahlberg.


JKrow75

😂😂😂 he looks like he’s about to ask me if I ever tried growing my own weed, have I heard of NFTs, or have I tried the new IPA at Paco Canyonista’s brewery.


nashwaak

major Thorin Oakenshield vibes


AkronLowLife

Nah, that’s Sayid from LOST.


Playful-Advantage-52

I thought of Desmond at first... Considering Henry Ian Cusick has portrayed Jesus...


OrdoMalaise

Wait. Sayid is Jesus? Cool.


DarthGandalf86

Mmm. Gives me fingernail torture flashbacks


jeanviolin

The actor was Indian though…


tfox1123

That is absolutely the type of person Jesus would be. I get nothing but good vibes and acceptance from this image.


COG-85

I have a hair-trigger reaction to the word "acceptance" now apparently. So much of the time people use it to mean "this person would never say anything mean to you and would never hurt you emotionally at all ever" which is just...not who Jesus is. He called you out when you did things that are wrong. He had a conversation with James and John who wanted to call fire from Heaven to smite people who were rude to them. Jesus is always perfect. That does not mean He is always gentle, or that He does not correct you.


RudeCats

Got so pissed he was literally flipping tables that one time


COG-85

exactly.


FanceyPantalones

How does any of that counter the word acceptance? Jesus said love was the most important thing. Yes he went off at temple flipping tables, but at what point did he not accept anybody? He told us how to behave, but made it very clear that anyone and everyone was wanted and pursued by God. Everyone is accepted If they followed him. I'm not arguing. I'm trying to understand how the word acceptance triggers you regarding Jesus. He was definitely about love and acceptance.


COG-85

He accepts everyone, but He also does not allow us to stay how we are. I have gone through much change since I accepted Him.


Jack_Dayzon

Jesus' last words were "Forgive them, for they know not what they do." He forgave his own murderers. Jesus surrounded himself with ignorant young people (Jesus 12 followers) who were sinning and he only told them how things worked. Every newborn human being first needs freedom to make mistakes, to develop, to learn to act independently and to make voluntary decisions for the good. Jesus brought us the understanding of balance within a society (The New Light). Children are born selfish (personal side), they cannot yet fully empathize with others, they need freedom, which is why adults are needed who sacrifice their own and concentrate on the other sides (factual side, appeal side, relationship side). And since people in the Puberty to become a selfish rebel/sinner (personal page Appeal side) tend, you then need those who take the opposite (factual side, relationship side). This knowledge is the way, the salvation. We are forced to want what we want. And forced to do what we think is right. Knowledge and intelligence lead to one's own conscience forcing one. (That's why at the end of the intelligence scale there are only people who see everything the same way) Jesus only preached the truth about how things affect each other.


COG-85

Jesus' "last" words, weren't His last words at all. His last words before He died, but there's an important caveat in the fact that, oh right, He's \*not dead anymore\*. He preaches how things were. Which includes Him being God, and it includes mankind's complete inability to be saved by their own power. He has offered us true life. How we were meant to live. We're trapped in a cage of mortality. Knowledge does nothing without the ability to act on it.


FanceyPantalones

>He accepts everyone, Everything else you said is accurate. Sincerely happy for you. Just can't figure out how the word acceptance is triggering If you think it is also accurate.


COG-85

It's when people are like "Jesus accepted everyone" most often they're using a pop culture Jesus, and now how Jesus actually is. It's one or the other. Either He is God, or He isn't. I believe He is, and thus, He has rules. You don't get to come to Him and yet stay in your sin.


Mrwolf925

I believe the word you are looking for is admonish. Jesus admonished others.


COG-85

Thank you. Yes.


tysonwatermelon

The Jesus in the Chosen series looks and mostly acts like that.


alwaysneverjoshin

There's definitly an irony that Christian fundamentalist worship a middle eastern prophet.


snoozieboi

And religion is "Faultless "Divine power" organized by man", and that's just one of thousands of, "*really?" reactions.* I remember my reaction when I heard Jesus was considered another prophet among the Muslims. Pretty much "then wtf is the problem, here?".


GammaGoose85

Thats actually really impressive, always wondered what the shroud's imprint would look like as a person


Glass-Fan111

Agree with you.


sirmosesthesweet

Don't you mean the shroud's painting?


YOKi_Tran

why isn’t he Caucasian.? i am JK


quinnwhodat

i am Jesus Krist ?!


Bilabong127

What do you think Caucasian is?


neuromonkey

Uh... someone from Georgia, Azerbaijan, or Armenia?


Bilabong127

It also used to be a racial term that included Europeans, North Africans, and different asiatic groups such as Arabs and Indians. Now it’s seen as an outdated term (despite white, black and Asian being hundred times worse as racial quantifiers) but Semitic hebrews would have been labeled as Caucasian. So Yoki_Tran asking why isn’t the picture of a Semitic Jew from Asia Minor isn’t Caucasian does not make sense. 


neuromonkey

I was just kidding. I don't think anyone these days uses old Pliny's appropriated Scythian meaning, nor Blumenbach's phrenological nonsense. These days it's just used to mean, "white folks." Another sciencey way of distinguishing between "races," without making it absolutely clear that you're combining a very narrow band of morphological traits with ignorance. > Now it’s seen as an outdated term It has the same scientific validity now as it had in the 1830s: none at all. It was a made-up way of dividing humans into four (five? I forget,) groups, based on arbitrary features of skulls. I think that one of the groups was represented by a single skull. Not even shoddy science--it was pure pseudoscience. Exactly as valid as the Nazi concept of an "Aryan" race, or our modern fantasies about Vikings. Calling such taxonomies "outmoded, " or "outdated" ignores the central reality that they are all total fiction. One pseudoscience is just as far from science any other, it's just that some have better PR. > despite white, black and Asian being hundred times worse as racial quantifiers... I disagree. They are equally as meaningless, in terms of biological science. Much better, in terms of simply describing a person's pigtail appearance. (Step up your game, and use Pantone codes for who you want your daughter to date!) They are not biologically incomplete or outdated ways to describe populations, they are biologically meaningless.


katszenBurger

Why didn't the "white" Americans just say they have "European ancestry"? Why "Caucasian"?


alwaysneverjoshin

Light skinned of European ancestory.


SrVergota

I hate the word Caucasian used for this but it's so popular for some reason. "White" does exactly the same and it's much more straightforward. "Caucasian" has that euphemism ring to it like "oh look I'm avoiding the word white I'm so fancy and correct." Most importantly, "Caucasian" should be used for the people of the Caucasus, it's literally the name. White people don't come from the Caucasus.


Bilabong127

If you think Caucasoid, Negroid, and mongoloid are outdated terms, than what terms should people use to differentiate race?


Luxating-Patella

Super toon extraordinaire Caucasoid, Caucasoid Runs around in underwear Caucasoid, Caucasoid


SrVergota

I mean that concept of race doesn't really mean anything so I don't mind using whatever. Negroid, black, mongoloid, east asian... They're terms used for whenever it's useful to group people who share certain characteristics. Neither negroid nor black tell me if a person is Niger congo, bantu, Nilotic, etc, which are real ethnic groups. "White" also doesn't tell me if we're talking Germanic, Slavic, etc, but both terms can be useful to talk about social situations and whatnot. My point is race is not really based on biology, ethnicity is, so it matters very little if there's an official term. I would say just use what is convenient. My issue is with the term Caucasian specifically because it's just silly, the Caucasus mountains have little to nothing to do with the ethnic origins of what we consider white people.


Bilabong127

So if there is no such thing as race, then ethnicity is the highest categorization of humanity? That doesn’t seem right.  Why is Caucasoid more silly than Mongoloid?


SrVergota

Highest categorization? Never said that and it's hard to define that. I just know it's something that exists in biology, you can get a piece of DNA and trace a person's ancestry. Honestly I overlooked mongoloid but it's just as silly. It never bothered me too much because people rarely ever use it (I even forgot it exists) while people say Caucasian ALL the time.


Eldan985

Doesn't look impossible for an Italian, which is probably what he was?


ctothel

I have never heard that theory, nor can I find it on the first couple of pages when I google it. Did you make it up?


Eldan985

Why would I? Though, yeah, I misremembered, I guess it's only exhibited in Italy and originally actually French, and from Northern France at that, so I guess they wouldn't be quite that Mediterranean looking.


ctothel

> Why would I? This is Reddit. It wouldn’t even nearly be the most unusual thing that I’ll see today.


Eldan985

Right. Still not sure why thinking it was Italian instead of French originally gave me that many downvotes.


nunya123

I guess it’s not a widely known theory? This is the first im hearing of it


Eldan985

It's..  quite well documented? The Wikipedia article even starts with it.


acloudcuckoolander

TIL Middle Eastern Palestinian= Italian by some deniers


Eldan985

Rather unlikely in 13th century France.


Embarrassed_Ad5112

The Shroud of Turin 100% did *not* come from the Middle East nor did it ever contain the body of Christ. Soz


acloudcuckoolander

Cool. I'm talking about the actual person, though, not a fake picture coming out of Italy.


Embarrassed_Ad5112

And the person you’re responding to is talking about the person in the image in the Shroud of Turin.


acloudcuckoolander

OK.


Nerozar

Because he was born in the Middle East (Bethlehem) and not in the Caucasus Mountains 🤨.


deusvult6

I wasn't born in the Caucasus Mountains but I'm still Caucasian as all shit. To be clear, Christ was likely not Caucasian, but Caucasians were in far more places than the Caucasus Mountains even 2000 years ago. At that time even most Persians, Northern Indians, and Tocharians were all Caucasian despite not being what we today call "white." Over the next few centuries there would even be a bunch of Germannic tribes scattered all over North Africa.


Nerozar

I find the term "Caucasian" misleading because I automatically think of the people in the Caucasus Mountains and not of a certain skin colour. I, for example, have never heard this term in my life. I live in Germany. I suspect it is only used in the USA today.


Embarrassed_Ad5112

The term was *literally* coined in Germany. University of GĂśttingen to be precise.


deusvult6

Then you are quite ill-informed.


PumpkinHead38

He wasn’t born anywhere hahahaha. He never existed. It’s all nonsense stories.


katszenBurger

I don't see why he necessarily couldn't have existed. Why couldn't it have been like modern cult leaders, where there was definitely a guy called by his name, who (intentionally or unintentionally) created a large cult and made up fantastical stories to justify following him to his cult members. Then later his cult members expanded on the stories, and that for hundreds of years, messing up some details in translation and adding more and more fantastical elements


Feefifiddlyeyeoh

This is pretty cool. The Shroud has a special place in my heart, because my Mom and Grandma used to have some heated arguments about whether or not the Shroud was “real.” Grandma actually threw an ashtray in anger. Good times.


V_es

Radiocarbon dating from several(!) independent labs showed that it was made in between the years 1260 and 1390. It’s 100% fake.


Luxating-Patella

God altered the amount of š⁴C in the Shroud in order to test grannies' faith. Hey, it's far easier to believe than Jesus popping out of a virgin.


V_es

Correct, and dinosaurs were created in the ground to test our faith because Earth is 5000 years old.


Feefifiddlyeyeoh

Real unicorns are pink.


AreYouSiriusBGone

>It's 100% fake. [There is still much controversy about the tested samples.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radiocarbon_dating_of_the_Shroud_of_Turin).


V_es

Of course. Christians will fight to the death to protect their fake trinkets.


Altruistic_Ocelot853

Who thought it was real and who thought that it was fake?


sirmosesthesweet

Assuming grandma thought it was real because she's old and superstitious.


Feefifiddlyeyeoh

Correct.


Altruistic_Ocelot853

She wasn’t being a very good example of a Christian.


Glass-Fan111

So, it was good memories because that fight only or reminds to you something else?


Feefifiddlyeyeoh

I was being sarcastic. It was not actually a good memory.


_AndyJessop

I always thought the Shroud of Turin was a reference to the blanket of smog that used to cover the city. There you go, I've shared something with you today.


DJDadJock

Coffee Seller , Weed Dealer , Hobo , Graphic Designer , Actor from Lost etc .. "He works in ways we cannot see"


fonzarelli78

An artisan, most likely.


Correct-Ad6135

Is Jesus Crist Creator? From when?


Fantastic_Rub_627

That doesn’t look like Tyler the Creator


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


Fartgifter5000

Read some Richard Dawkins and call me in the morning: delusion has a good prognosis, you're in luck


VvardenHasFellen

Ever since his cult infected the world


Fantasneeze

Nah nah, that’s the Big Cheese God. With one giant rip, he cut the cosmic cheese, spreading new world and life with every molecule of His flatulence. Jesus just came around later teaching ppl the importance of hygiene, like washing feet, becoming the Savior of humankind from Stench


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


Fantasneeze

Thanks, I guess not everyone appreciates my humorous (?) attempt to point out Jesus isn’t the creator, God is the Creator, Jesus the Savior according to the Bible lol


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


Fantasneeze

I never said I didn’t not believe in God, because I don’t believe in God. Just pointing out OP mislabeled Jesus as Creator, which is incorrect in Christianity 👍


ventomareiro

Since the beginning of time or, depending on your point of view, since the Council of Nicaea in AD 325.


[deleted]

I think he was a carpenter


Commercial-Penalty-7

That was a cool idea.


Glass-Fan111

Honest question: Why both images are different between them? Different approach? Also, likes the 1st one better.


DJDadJock

Same prompt. Different results.


Glass-Fan111

Thanks.


Playful-Advantage-52

Not to be ironic or anything, but the first picture is kind of reminiscent of young Rick Beato...


Otano-Doiz

Cannot unsee


Appropriate_End919

What makes this shroud great?


COG-85

There is no randomness in genetics. Rick Beato may have been descended from someone in Mary's family. There are only so many combinations of facial features you can get before things start repeating.


Ensiferal

He makes overpriced burgers at a place down by the beach. They come with a knife stuck in them.


locutusof

Dude sold me my first weed.


fonzarelli78

I'll have three weed, my good man!


Original-Tumbleweed9

This is not my white clad Christ I renounce lmao


KarateMusic

I loved his guitar solo on “Black Hole Sun”


hansolosaunt

Would.


Loud-Magician7708

This isn't blasphemy, it's blasfuckme.


MusksYummyLiver

Judge me harder daddy


MusksYummyLiver

Wait a minute, this ain't Jesus!!! Jesus is WHITE and RIPPED. And I KNOW this because I used to be a MORMON. Checkmate ATHEISTS!


moist_marmoset

Why do so many people think that Levantine people are dark? They're not


CaptainRex5101

Some are, others aren't


acloudcuckoolander

Many before invasions/migrations from paler peoples were tanned. Get over it.


RedditAcct00001

Second one is zombie Jesus 3 days later.


MusksYummyLiver

Fuck ya I'm so hard for zombie Jesus.


nunya123

I guess that makes you a Christian


MusksYummyLiver

Oh no not again


v_0o0_v

Jesus of Hipstoria


gellenburg

So the creator is a Jew from Palestine that was born 2000+ years ago. So much for the Earth being only 6000 years old then if the creator didn't come around until 4000 years later.


nunya123

You’re missing a lot of lore there. I get not believing in Christianity but you gotta do it from a place of understanding. This way makes you look very uninformed


gellenburg

I don't know a lot about The Hobbit universe either but I know it's just as fanciful and fictional.


nunya123

Either way your earlier comment just made you look foolish more than anything. But it doesn’t matter


T0ysWAr

Try Chabal (rugby man)


EvilutionD

Funny he doesn’t look like Ted Nugent


Supperdip

Jesus Christ! 


FlashyGravity

Knew it. It's keanu


dachloe

Hmm, a Palestine.


dashone

Kind of a Sam Elliott vibe, pardner.


zerosuneuphoria

Seems a bit far-fetched


Deerlager

But Jaysus was ‘Murican and White God-dangit!! (/s just in case)


sapielasp

Hobo and hobo


daronjay

Second one looks a bit like Robin Williams.


Willing_Following_81

You sure that ain't Cam Cole?


justwalkingalonghere

That first pis isn't just Jake Gyllenhall?


pheonix198

**There can be only one…** 100% Adrian Paul from The Highlander television series.


ahmshy

oh my, seems the Lord was heavenly hot *blushes*


Damiandroid

He's not the creator, he's just a very naughty boy!


winterchainz

It’s my barber named Shlomo.


[deleted]

I’m pretty sure I attended his last concert. Nice gig!


RORANGESS

Jonathan van Ness?


foxtrot666

Waingro


AsherTheDasher

zach mcgowan vibes


tomatobunni

Always hot Jesus


ag3nt_cha0s

On no, he’s hot.


Jasonicus86

It's Seth Rollins!


DivorcedGremlin1989

Jason Schwartzman


nilsihorn

Its John Warhammer!


Seven_Hawks

Played by Adrien Brody


Thehyperninja

Looks like Edward Norton with a beard


Atmikes_73

Put out an APB


[deleted]

I saw him playing with his heavy metal band


HauntinglyMaths

Keanu Reeves with beard. Very interesting.


Pogsilv

The second one is Christian Bale right? I mean, right?


Emotional-Hotel-4144

Manson in his festival going years.


MilesFassst

Seems legit.