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post_vernacular

Unsure what OP's situation is, but it would take me passing one of these bad boys to completely change everything humanly and quasi inhumanly possible in my life to never have to endure that again.


lurkulongthyme

Yeah, the two most painful things in my life to date: my appendix almost bursting and kidney stones.


RegularPr0file

I think you need a better approach to dating.


Classic_Mechanic5495

Yea, but those two things take guts and some real ‘stones’ to date, if you know what I mean.


potatersauce

They gave me morphine when my appendix was going to burst. As long as I didn’t move I felt normal, not completely painless, but normal. The moment I moved the pain was like it never left.


UnsanctionedPartList

The trick is to stop edging and actually make the appendix pop. Did feel better, for a bit.


GrungyGrandPappy

Doctors hate this one simple trick


AnthonyBiggins

Balls?


EyeCatchingUserID

I called my mom in the middle of the night from the hospital because I just wanted my mommy lol. Holy christ, I didn't know I could hurt that bad.


NeonBrightDumbass

I vaguely remember asking to be put down, I was over being conscious. The dilaudid was fun though.


Altruistic_Profile96

Dilaudid is the only good thing about a kidney stone. Almost makes it worth it. Almost.


theunicornslayers

I'm 45, and last winter, I walked out onto my icy driveway to head to work when I had the most epic slip and fall of my life. Both my feet shot up towards my shoulders perpendicular to one another, and I landed on my upper back/neck/shoulders/ head. HARD. Knocked the wind out of me. When I caught my breath, I got up and waddled over to my car, got in, started the engine, and called my mommy.


EyeCatchingUserID

Sometimes you just gotta, man. No shame in it


BoyMom119816

My dad had my step mom call my sister and I, because he thought he was dying. He was like calling kids, this is it. I had a kidney stone in fifth grade, don’t think I was quite as dramatic as my dad in his 40’s. ;) but likely would be more dramatic in my forties now too. :)


Holiday-Way-5194

Unironically though, I had a 4mm kidney stone and I have never experienced a more painful couple of hours. And that's on the smaller end, I was lucky! Everytime I get random pains in my side now I'll go drink a few cups of water to ward off the evil rocks. NEVER want to go through that again. Called my dad to drive me to the hospital bc I was fully convinced that was the end for me.


vesuvius_1_02

Had my first kidney stone in college. Waddled off to the bathroom to pass it. Made the decision to lighten up my coffee intake. The appendix burst last month (appendectomy 02/13). Single most excruciating pain ever. Worse than a tooth infection. 10/10 would not recommend. I joke about starting an advocacy group to raise awareness about the ticking time-bomb called appendicitis lol. But I wasn't laughing out loud.


UnsanctionedPartList

It does feel a little better when it goes though. For like, a few hours. Just sleepy, like the void was calling me. That's when the rapid fire bile vomiting and feeling like you're dying start.


admiraltubby90

I dunno the girl I liked in 8th grade hurt pretty bad.


[deleted]

[удалено]


VivaLaMujer

Before I opened the comments I got to the third picture and loudly exclaimed, “GOOD god, change everything about your life!”


cmfppl

I've had kidney stones 3 times, pancreatitis once,had my appendix removed, ive also broken my back and now have a T9-L2 spinal fusion, cranial reconstructive surgery and ive broken almost every bone in my body at different times.. when I got kidney stones the first time, I completely changed my diet and cut sodas and energy drinks out, which for an early 20s construction worker/bar tender was insanely difficult.. but it takes pissing a razor-sharp rock out your dick 1 time to motivate you! Kidney stones and pancreatitis are hands down the most painful experiences I've ever had the misfortune of experiencing.


xFisch

Next goal: Severe tooth pain


cmfppl

I had all 4 wisdom teeth removed in high school and had to had a tooth pulled and 2 root canals from the accident that broke my backs, skull and eye socket, and the 2nd time I broke my left elbow.


missklo99

Damn bro you have been out there straight *living* lol Sorry. I couldn't help myself. 🙃 I'm the same way, swear I must have 9++ lives, nearly died in 2019 4 months in the hospital, had to learn to walk again, coded(as in legit died) when I was a toddler and brought back, got knocked out by a ski(I was the top of the pyramid for July 4th water-skiing show, fell directly in front of all the lower skiers) Rolled my grandpa's side by side in a downpour and it landed directly on top of me: head and neck specifically) That was less than a year ago and 2 guys were just getting home from a construction job and heard the wreck (it was 9 pm) They had to pull me out and they gave me a beer and some weed and said they couldn't believe I was walking and talking. Never went to the Dr but probably should have. I was bruised badly all over and had a black eye. Living on the edge must be our thing haha 🤷🏼‍♀️


Odd_Seaworthiness_44

You sound like that one guy from spongebob lol


Gloomy_Durian3732

Baja blast is just too Damn good


Emergency-Touch-3424

yea I'm finna drink some water rn


Wanderingstar8o

Me too! OMG! I’m terrified after reading this post and all the comments of people’s experiences


buellster92

Maybe he’s into sounding so this is good for him


Tommy2tables

But would you drink a glass of water? /s


Critical_Paper8447

I took one look at the last Pic, put down my phone, and chugged a 32oz bottle of water


DougieSenpai

Dude drink some fuckin water


Sad-Customer8048

gotta have a condition thats too gnarly


yourbeingretarded

Its mostly genetic but you can definitely mitigate the risk with more water.


Xtoxy

Got damn it sucks being a bus driver then. I can’t drink that much water or I have to stop a lot and my job won’t like that.


Immawatchinyou

Couldn’t you just bring stuff with you? A lunch bag filled with bottled water and snacks for you would keep you from having to stop anywhere and can be cheaper using your own bottles.


tedfondue

I think they mean having to stop a lot to use the restroom if they drink too much water.


Immawatchinyou

Hahahaha! Sometimes it’s hilarious being oblivious to the obvious! Thanks for correcting me, they definitely meant that.


Late-Chemical2196

I drink about six bottles of water a day I’m not gonna get a kidney stone right?!!! 😰


NeonWarcry

*pats hydroflask lovingly* Both weapon and preventer of kidney stones


Late-Chemical2196

Phew 😮‍💨


NeonWarcry

I mean it’s not all you need; you need a well rounded diet I’m sure etc but it helps


sirenita_9008

All of a sudden I have the urge to drink my weight in water….. ouch


linkxrust

as long as they are big water bottles. I drink 6 16oz bottles before noon. Usually drink close to 2 gallons or more a day.


ladymoonshyne

My old coworker got kidney stones in her mid thirties. She said the doctor asked how much water she drank a day and she said a lot. Turns out she literally never drank water, ever. She just drank quarts of coffee and tea a day. She thought that was fine because they’re made with water 😐


TooPanicked

Tbf, aren’t tea and coffee like 99% water?


New_Peanut_9924

I’m always confused on this tbh. I drink coffee throughout the day along with water. Some days, like today, I haven’t had much water but still hydrated?


Dumbbitchathon

This person drinks copious amounts of liquids other than water and calls themselves hydrated. You are but you’re filtering all that with your kidneys. And they start making rocks with all that. And they gotta get out through the widths of a pube hair. Just drink regular water.


Relevant_Buy9593

The guy can have a condition like hyperparathyroidism; he can drink as muuuuch water as he wants but at the end of the day, there’s too much calcium circulating his blood, predisposing him to nephrolithiasis


Witchywomun

Once you develop a kidney stone, you’re prone to developing them again. Some medications can increase your risk and some people just have oysters for kidneys. I could drink a gallon of water every day and I’m still going to drop 3-4 kidney stones per year.


H3llm0nt

Do they smell? Where do you hide them? And are you saving up to make a puka style necklace?


jjb1197j

He should sell them as meteor fragments. Tell the customer they came from a planet with no water.


turb42o

Uranus?


SweetFannypack

Urethra


ChiggaLover

r/yourjokebutbetter


cbraun1523

No but close to it.


Illmills

Good one


zenzenzen25

I want to downvote this because this made me gag but also hilarious


MannerFluid5601

I am also curious how bad they smell lmao


Wise_Joke498

More like a Peeka necklace, amirite?


EntertainmentOk3180

U mean puke-a necklace?


[deleted]

haha nice


panterachallenger

Dude has unraveled the philosophers stone


Imaginary_Prune1351

Not a Puka necklace 🤣🤣🤣


Big-Maintenance2971

As a nurse, I need to know...is your urethra ok? Damn!


Embarrassed-Style296

I’d say it’s a little blown out


lavatorylovemachine

practically sounding from the inside out


cool_weed_dad

It’s like a windsock


i_cant_have_dairy

I'm not a nurse and that was my first question. Like a gun from buggs bunny that gets blown up.


spong3

I’m more concerned about the ureters. They PASSED these?? My 11mm one stalled mid ureter, had to remove it surgically which sucked


schweitz

same. 5mm one got stuck in my ureter. needed surgery. going to get pcnl surgery next to have the others taken out before they can attack me.


spong3

Whoa just looked this up, I didn’t even know it was an option! Ultrasound showed I haven’t formed any new stones in the past year so hopefully I’m a SLOW former and maybe I can avoid many more through diet/hydration? I tell myself that anyway so I don’t go insane.


schweitz

there's so many preventative measures it can get overwhelming. and after all they still might occur just bc of genetics. i put lime in all the water i drink now. calcium is good too.


spong3

Yes, lemon/lime in water most of the time now! Urology told me to have dairy (NOT calcium supplements) with meals, especially when the meal has oxalates because the oxalates will bind to it in stool and leave my body quickly, rather than in the kidneys.


schweitz

i eat a lot of cottage cheese now, lollll.


TeachersPetGamingTTV

That’s because he has permanent gaping hole by now by the number of stones he has had in the past years.


dontshitaboutotol

Like throwing a hotdog down a hotdog at this point unless... Ma'am?


Guitar-Goose

Where is the banana for scale?


YBHunted

Seriously what are those bathroom floor tiles? How fucking big are these things good god


LeviathonMt

Fr i cant tell if hes pissing pebbles or golf balls


sonjasblade

To me it looks like a backboard for cutting on, so 1 x 1 inch?


Jeff_Boiardi

I'm going so. The only reason I'm in the comments is for scale. I hope OP is OK...


BuckRusty

Each tile is 3x3 inches


tasty_iron

I scrolled to see if I needed to write this. Thank God I did. Thank you


spartancobra36

What is the size of those white squares on the graph in the background for scale?


MattyMizzou

One foot


badger_flakes

Each square is 20cm


spartancobra36

OP out hear stretching their Uretha to twice that of the cervix during birth


Ebsa92

That kinda looks like it could be a grid cutting mat. The squares are usually 1 inch by 1 inch.


MelonJelly

I could believe they're 1 cm squares.


fabposes

They kinda look like oat cluster trail mix type of snack


QuietButterfly7827

A perfect April fools joke to an unsuspected housemate.


Ok-Department-4058

Nah you MESSED up.


Stark556

You ruined my day


Qu33N_Of_NoObz_

Nah looking closer, I think it is😭😭there’s no possible way OP passed that many stones in the past 6 years without making some serious diet changes. I wasn’t even prepared for the third slide.


DoubbleD_UnicornChop

You messed up.


booghawkins

I gave birth and I’ve had a kidney stone. I would give birth 100 times over before I’d deal with a kidney stone a 10th of those sizes. How are you alive.


lemondropsandgumdrop

this is so validating for me. I’m a woman who’s had a SAND GRAIN SIZED STONE and have never given birth. When I tell you I was in SUCH pain at my tiny stone for THREE DAYS. I’ve told my partner that I think it’s probably worse than giving birth purely because of how long it takes to pass. Now I also believe the pain was worse.


Duffynori

I’ve had one also….worse thing that’s ever happened to me. I went to hospital bc legit thought I was dying and the nurse said she would take another birth over a stone as well.


Capric0rpse-

Whoa.


EstLatLit

I was thinking they seem worse! I have kids but have never had a kidney stone. Definitely don't want one, either.


lemondropsandgumdrop

this is so validating for me. I’m a woman who’s had a SAND GRAIN SIZED STONE and have never given birth. When I tell you I was in SUCH pain at my tiny stone for THREE DAYS. I’ve told my partner that I think it’s probably worse than giving birth purely because of how long it takes to pass. Now I also believe the pain was worse.


lemondropsandgumdrop

this is so validating for me. I’m a woman who’s had a SAND GRAIN SIZED STONE and have never given birth. When I tell you I was in SUCH pain at my tiny stone for THREE DAYS. I’ve told my partner that I think it’s probably worse than giving birth purely because of how long it takes to pass. Now I also believe the pain was worse.


kurinevair666

I've never had a kidney stone. I did have a baby with no epidural and the worst pain in my life was an abscessed tooth. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.


Creepy-Prune-7304

I’m sorry you had to go through that


honestlyi4get

i’m sorry that had to go through you!


Existing-Peanut4511

Fuckin' nailed it!


th3MFsocialist

Bro quit drinking soda. Or what ever you do regularly.


Glass_Occasion5483

He snacks on kidney stones


PyramidicContainment

Doctors hate this one simple trick


Important-Cat-2046

💀


SalsaForte

You certainly have a condition to have this many. Woah!


cknipe

At this point is kidney gravel.


Whattheholyhell74

I can’t remotely imagine going thru having kidney stones more than once. I wanted to die at one point when the pain was that bad. This is a level of Dante’s Hell that no one should have to go thru. Unless you should go thru it.


Late-Chemical2196

Is it that bad…. And what can I do to prevent it… ☹️


sm1rr0r

Drink more water and less soda


ambitchious70

The last time I had a kidney stone, it was the worst pain I have ever felt. The ER doctor made a joke that when a male gets one, it's God's way of letting him know a tiny bit how giving birth feels. 😳


Responsible_Fox9201

Through your urethra? Good god


EmmyBrat

Good lord 😳 You need to start drinking more water 🗣


cPB167

And you're just like, collecting them? Did you fish them all out of the toilet after they came out?


Any-Angle-8479

At the hospital they give you a little strainer.


zenremastered

Yep, having to carry a strainer everywhere anytime you piss is super fun.


LAlien92

Why though? Like they do test on them?


Annual-Flatworm7895

Yes. They will tell you to bring any you may catch in to test. Not enjoyable carrying that strainer with you to the bathroom at work... not to mention the fact that you have to bring it with you to work. Edit for link. [which would you guess it is?](https://imageusa.com/kidney-stones-just-the-facts/?amp=1) Looks like cysteine to me but I can't stomach zooming in and looking at OP's pictures for too long.


pcktazn

Gotta catch ‘em all!


Capric0rpse-

🤭


faegold

This reminded me to drink water. Thank you!


Low-Nail-3656

Same. I saw this and immediately drank a huge glass of water. Jfc


Huggles9

Bro,…just drink some water


mvdsoj

I bet they have a nice crunch


feoperobueno

Does it get easier after the first one cause what the hell


MountainSaint

Can I get a cat paw for scale


Fetty_Wap_Official

I low key don’t even feel bad, at this point it’s on you I’m pretty sure


Dependent_Rub_6982

If you have calcium oxalate stones, there is a medication called Urocit K that keeps them from forming.


Western_Film8550

Uric acid stones, I take Potassium Citrate.


DickStuckInGround

Mmmmm the perfect granola to go with my Greek yogurt parfait


griffl3n

Godbless your soul … Jesus Christ man


Popular_Error3691

Wtf man. I'd rather die than get more. Change something!


v0ltage_w0lf

You okay man?


scprepper

I am wordless


Hot-Swimmer3101

Go to the doctor… Holy shit 👹


Sad-Dragonfly-4016

Dude drinks a 12 pack of Mountain Dew a day


HempKnight420

Nigga drink some water!


nagitospiss

yep im deleting the app


Infamous_Cobbler5284

If you have a cat, please use the cat to scale.


larrystoddard

You must be all jacked up on Mountain Dew.


lordhumungus2

- the squares are 1 x 1 cm - those are calcium oxalate stones - it usually happens when I ate too much dairy products - it hurts like hell when they are in the ureter but usually I don’t take any pain medication just drink a lot of water


Poopfoamexpert

Wtf?


Responsible_Fox9201

I know moose tracks pop corn when I see it


Kivuli_Kiza

Forbidden snack.


oki_sauce

Is this your rock collection?


PixelatedpulsarOG

The first one looks like a fist


No-Engineering-1449

why do you hold onto them?


chzygorditacrnch

Lol, they probably can't be good for the septic tank. Especially at the rate that op is popping them out!


shreddedtoasties

You allergic to water


RaidersChase69

Are you eating rocks for lunch?


Megaloman-_-

Looks like Calcium Oxalate


Turbulent_Juicebox

Half of these comments are comedic gold. The other half are cursed


my5cent

Woah, what are you eating or drinking?


Infamous_Chapter8585

What the fuck man


YosemiteSam81

Fuck, I’ve only passed one stone and it was small and smooth, nothing like yours. And I thought I was gonna die!! I tip my hat to you!


hugeduckling352

This rocks


tstew39064

Jesus fuck. Im glad i dont have K Stones


[deleted]

id actually commit suicide before i passed a kidney stone


subversion_dnb

Can I get a banana for scale please


Ok-Office-6918

Damn bro drink some damn water.


lyonmild

All I can say is 😱


I-mean-maybe

What is your pain tolerance like, holy shit.


Bossasin

Jesus, what are you eating buddy?


Thoreau_Dickens

Mmmm poprocks


CaptainPoopsock

They’re not rocks, Marie!! They’re minerals!!


BirdLadyAnn

Ouch.😩


chzygorditacrnch

Omg how big are they?


MokujinBunny

goddamn my dude do you see a urologist? have u ever had any removed or have you passed them all on your own?


twistwanwitme

Banana for scale?


javamomma36

Moon rocks


chillvegan420

One or two years ago I passed my first stone and it was pea sized. It came out of the blue. Horrifying painful experience. Worst pain of my life. Maybe I’m a wuss but goddamnit I’d rather have my nails ripped out than that pain again. I’ve never been so grateful for Valium.


Gourmandrusse

Don’t mix tea and ice cream! Game changer.


kalemeh8

r/makemesuffer


alwaysbroke_408

Nice April Fools Joke.


Game_nintendouser

Why did i think that was popcorn


entechad

What size is the square


NoodleSnoo

Gotta stop eatin' rocks bruh


Victor3-22

Drink


Aworry

We need an object for scale bc wtf


Electrical_Map5282

Mmhm truffles


BNG1982

You could make a necklace. 🤷🏽‍♂️


homless_brad

You poor guy


FrostyAF6421

I amazed, that your dingus didn't drop off to make it easier to get that out.


HumorousHermit

Looks like the caramel corn that fell between my seats three years ago


phantoxjada

This better be an April Fool's joke. Otherwise, I don't know how you survived that.


bigno53

They look like little bits of carcinogenic conch shell.


KdGc

Why are you saving them? I too have a kidney stone problem and as elated and pleased I am when they pass, it’s never occurred to me to keep them. Typically the doctor wants to send them to a lab even though every single one is calcium oxalate.


ITisAllme

We need answers!


vv4rd3n

Jesus man


t-walters

Have you contacted Guinness World Book of records yet?!?


Specific_Factor4470

Um, excuse me? Passed? There ain't a God damn way that came out of you naturally. And if it did, may God have mercy on your soul.


Takemeoffgrid

If you’re not going to drink water you better move your ass somewhere humid so you get it in you somehow 😆