My wife and I are open, I dated another married woman.
One day my friend saw me out w the other woman, she then told My wife.
My wife is like it’s fine, I don’t tell you everything about my personal life because it’s more your business
Do not get involved. They're adults right?
What if you got involved and some 1/1000000 chance shit happens like the wife kills the husband or anyone hurts anyone.. you'll never forgive yourself.
Do not get involved.
Do you want to forever end your relationship with her? Because that’s what’s gonna happen if you say anything. The truth is, other people’s relationship is not your business. I agree that she’s doing something morally reprehensible, but it’s not my (or your) place to judge much less get involved. Give her enough Rotte to hand herself and, if you truly care about her, be there to pick up the pieces when this all blows up in her face because, believe me (50M) it will. I’ve seen it too many times.
Just get some proof like a photo or text history and anonymously post it to the wife. Don’t mention it was you to anyone. He’s an asshole and she’s a shit person to but you don’t need to be the villain in this story. Just stay anonymous
Of course, there's a risk. The husband has already shown he'll make terrible decisions.
If you reveal that he's behaving horribly and that causes him harm, financially or otherwise, why would anyone be surprised that he seeks a reckoning against you?
He'll probably do it in a fashion that you don't expect, you won't see it coming.
He's proven to be sneaky by having and hiding an affair. He'll probably wait a while, be calculated and cold, wait until you're alone and vulnerable.
Sticking your nose into other people's business comes with big risks.
Yep. None of my friends live that lifestyle. But if I found out a friend cheated on his wife I’d drop them , no doubt about it. I cannot be friends with a cheater
Dump your friend. Don’t be complicit in her philandering. It’s not really your place to tell the spouse but just know if you do there is no going back and the friendship will likely end anyway. So just save yourself the drama and let the friend go. No exceptions. Bad company corrupts good character.
Why do you want to remain friends with someone who is such a terrible, cruel, heartless person? You deserve better friends.
Absolutely you should tell the betrayed spouse. People make all sorts of major life decisions based on thinking they are in a faithful relationship. The spouse could contract an STD. They could get pregnant or take out loans together. The betrayed person deserves to know.
I agree but its a surprising situation because she is usually normal person with good morals very similar to mine and this has come out of nowhere. If we werent as good friends I would just easily cut her off but its harder than expected to do so.
The wife does definitely deserve to know although I do pity their kids but they eould surely long term be happier with happy parents anyway
If you’re worried about your friend lashing out on you, she already isn’t a worthy friend. A friend tells other friends how it really is, and doesn’t tolerate any extra bs from them, of course all with love.
Your friend is doing something morally wrong— I personally think you should tell the wife because she has the right to know. Maybe collect proof, text messages or something if you feel that the wife won’t believe you. As always this is your call, do what you feel is right. But don’t let selfish people get away with selfish actions.
You can tell the wife and the wife can literally assault or murder your friend, poison the husband, or both. Maybe she just commits suicide instead and your friend feels guilty and follows suit. Maybe the guy gets violent because you took away his candy.
Then at the funeral when you speak you can say "It was the right thing to do!"
If violence doesn't happen - it doesn't matter because friend will not learn their lesson. They will see you as the villain and blame you and then just repeat the same shit with another man. They need to crash and burn on their own to learn.
This is a moral failing of another person. It is not yours to correct, especially not without the full context.
What you should do - is quietly exit the friendship.
Several things can happen. Say nothing and continue being friends. But when you get married you will be wondering if anything is happening behind your back. Say nothing and dump your friend. Tell the wife and let mayhem reign and shrug your shoulders when confronted.
Really the only thing here that’s your business is your friendship with your friend. If you don’t like who she is or what she’s doing end the friendship and walk away from the whole thing. Problem solved.
I was in the same situation a few years back. I think you’ve said your piece as a friend, and now you have to decide if you want to keep your friend or let the truth out. I would caution against this since you have no idea whether this guy may react violently. It sucks, but usually the truth winds up coming out anyway and sometimes in life it’s better to just stay uninvolved in the drama while other people burn their own lives. If you end up telling the wife, take steps for yourself so that you remain anonymous if possible.
Puleeeze: mind your own business. You are not directly involved with this situation, why the need to get involved? If it bothers you horribly, distance yourself.
Mind. Your. Business. Chances are very good that she will find out. Don't get in the middle of it. Obviously their morals don't match yours and that is their prerogative.
No, just stop being friends. Focus on your own life and stay out of other people's business unless someone is in immediate danger then call the authorities.
Weigh out the costs first . Like others have said, he's just gonna deny it and you will have lost your friendship. Would it do any good ? No. Will it cause a ton of drama? Yes. Ethically speaking, I would but please find a way to secure some evidence and do it anonymously so you don't have any backlash
I would end the friendship and move on with my life. This isn’t your business to involve yourself in. As stated by others, you don’t know what the wife does or doesn’t know. What you do know is that your friend isn’t the type of person you should call “a friend”. It would be one thing if you knew the wife and were complicit in lying to her but you don’t. A wife knows when something is amiss if she’s paying attention. Like my grandmother used to say “ What doesn’t come out in the wash will come out in the rinse”. Walk away and don’t look back.
“She knows it’s wrong and isn’t keen on it BUT….” I don’t know how you could want to salvage a friendship with this person but I’m seeing a bit of a theme.
Everyone here sucks aside from the wife that’s getting cheated on. Your friend and the husband suck for their own obvious reasons. You suck too because you’re talking about completely nuking someone’s life like it’s nothing more than a badge of honor. It’s pretty obvious you’re not in this for a peaceful solution and that you don’t actually care about what’s best for your friend. If you actually cared, you’d be talking to her about this and not us. I’m not saying what he is doing is right but neither is what you’re talking about doing. Not unless all other options have been exhausted.
You are simply not the right person to give her that information; you certainly shouldn’t be plan A. Give both him and your friend a chance to come clean before even considering that road, starting with him. Going straight to the nuclear option screams that this is far more about you than anyone else.
I think you should. His wife is the innocent one in this situation and deserves to know about her husband’s actions so that she can make an informed decision about whether or not to stay in the relationship. Cheaters usually don’t just cheat once, and your friend is likely one of many people he’s stepped out with. This puts the wife at risk of STDs which could be super dangerous if she ever gets pregnant or is immunocompromised. Your friend will get mad, and will probably lash out at you. But it seems like you’ve been very negatively affected by keeping this information to yourself, and you’ve also said that you thoroughly disagree with your friend’s actions. I’ve been in your position before and ultimately ended the friendship first before telling the wife and blocking all parties involved after to avoid drama. I won’t pretend this is easy and can’t speak on how dangerous it would be for you personally because I don’t know your full situation.
Just dump her as a friend. By telling his wife you're going to do that anyway. And you're going to be the bad guy. Just go ahead and don't be her friend anymore.
Maybe just mind your business. You have no idea what their relationship is like. Being a person of gossip and getting involved in other peoples lives without an invite will only hurt you in the end
I recomend looking up Dr. Marie Murphy, who counsels people who are engaging in infidelity. Murphy's website has a podcast series that covers a wide variety of topics and offer insight that might be helpful to you, your friend, and her affair partner.
Being a third party to infidelity does not reflect on you or your morality. You don't need to police the relationships of others. If this is a friend that is repeatedly demonstrating that they are not the company you want to keep, based on their choices being contrary to your beliefs, you can choose not to have them in your life. If this is new, maybe just be there for them, try not to impose judgement, and resist taking away your friend's agency by intervening and further complicating an already messy situation–they may need you if this goes sideways.
Consider minding your own business, you don't have all the information. They could be practicing polyamory or many other scenarios and simply don't want the information out there.
Do you enjoy drama? If you do, absolutely say something.
Are you going to own up to your friend that you told or would this be an anonymous heads up?
Personally I'm not a fan of morality policing even in situations I don't approve.
It's not your business. I was in your position before and it was my best friend being cheated on. I told her that the guy she was seeing, was still sleeping with his ex. I was quickly excommunicated from my entire friend group. She continued to see him. She's married to him now, and I haven't spoken to that group of people again. Lose, lose, lose situation. Mind your business!
If it were me it would tell the wife and expect my friendship to end. Although tbh I wouldn’t want to continue the friendship anyways. I don’t want to associate with people who have such low morals and go after married men.
Tell the wife. Your friend might hate you for it but she’s a bitch for knowingly and purposefully home wrecking a marriage. The guy is an AH too and doesn’t deserve the wife. What goes around comes around. Her karma will probably be some other ho taking her spot as mistress.
I don't understand when it went out of style for people to just mind their business. 2 consenting adults having an affair is not novel. And its not your moral dilemma to have. Also, maybe a hint of jealousy? Its atleast worth examining your own motivations for wanting to get involved.
Tell the wife. If possible, fed ex her photos of them together, anonymously. But absolutely tell her. I could have made life changing decisions if anyone who knew my ex husband was cheating had told me he was cheating in the 2 years before we had a kid together.
Ditch that friend. She's not a good person. Lie down with dogs, rise up with fleas. She will fuck you over on something on a long enough timeline.
I realize you're looking for advice, and I personally think its morally right to tell the wife if you have some sort of proof. Record the friend, texts messages, etc.
On an off note, this situation is so similar to the first lady in "Why Women Kill." She goes undercover and befriends the mistress. Lol, sorry it was random but the stories are so similar.
It’s not your problem right now. If you tell the wife, it will become your problem. If you care at all about your own peace, stay out of it. If your peace is being disrupted because of your friend’s actions, remove your friend from your life.
Additionally, and I’m sure someone will have something to say about this, you nor your friend owe the wife anything. Her husband is the one cheating, not your friend. Yes it’s morally wrong what your friend is doing but she’s not the one who made the commitment to the wife.
This is crazy. I do think the wife deserves to know. I think you should also be direct with your friend and tell her exactly what you think about what she’s doing. She can be pissed all she wants but at the end of the day, a friend who is honest is a true friend. If she can’t see that, then she isn’t a real friend.
You’ll be the very first person your friend suspects when sh!t hits the fan. And she will tell her bf.
How solid is your poker face when under prolonged stress?
Can you lie convincingly when your friend and her bf repeatedly berate you, insisting you must be the one who told his wife?
If you are not a VERY good actor, do not attempt.
My advice? Stay the fuck out of other people's relationships.
They're adults making adult choices and you don't have a clue what's actually driving it - don't drag your personal moral baggage into anybody else's life.
You don't have to like it. It's not about you at all.
If it would definitely come back to you I say no. You're not the one doing these things and you already let your friend know how you feel. I suggest you only do that if it doesn't come back to you because it could become your problem, too much drama.
“I don’t want to lose my friendship with my POS friend. What should I do?”
You have a moral dilemma and are trying to get out of dealing with it.
Make it worse. Your friend is dating a 13 year old boy. Are you keeping that a secret from his parents so you don’t lose your friendship?
This isn’t a moral dilemma unless you honestly acknowledge that you don’t need to be friends with someone that breaks your moral code.
Stay friends. Maybe someday she can sleep with your spouse/partner behind your back as well, but at least you’ll still be friends.
You don’t want to tell his wife. Tell her family and other friends and see how they feel.
You can play the “not my circus, not my monkeys”, but just let her know your friendship is over. She won’t even fight to save your friendship and you’ll know where you stand.
I understand you feeling this way, but you don’t have to agree with everything everyone else does. That’s not your job to make everyone think and act like you. We all have a life of free will and yours extends to who you want in your life, but you don’t get to strongarm their choices because you don’t like them. Just exit their life.
This isn't a friend you want in your life. She has zero morals. will break up a family without a thought. Not someone to associate with going forward. Please do tell.
Did a boyfriend die on her? We have a good friend who had several inappropriate boyfriends through the years. I had a heart-to-heart talk with her and she really thought about it. She had a fight with her high school sweetheart, he left in a fury, crashed his car and was gone forever. She thought about it and said she never wanted that kind of loss again, didn't want another boyfriend she'd maybe lose like that again and had since only had boyfriends she wouldn't care that deeply about if she did break up--married men, guys who lived in their parents' basement at 40, etc. She broke up with her current married boyfriend and found a guy whom she stayed with for 20+ years.
So she shouldn't date this guy because of all the negative consequences. And if those negative consequences aren't going to happen organically you'll make them happen. You're a great friend. Stay the the hell out of their business. If it's going to blow up then let it - why do you want to be responsible. Don't get involved in other people's drama full stop.
Stay out of it. Breaking up a marriage could cause serious ramifications for all parties.
I would still be friends if my bestie did that, but I would not throw him under the bus.....EVER. Let karma do it's thang.
I would end the friendship and tell the wife. But you will need proof. So have that before you do anything.
This friend knows it wrong and you need a friend with better morals who does what is right. End the friendship.
It’s really not your business. Why get involved. If you disagree with what your friend is doing then create a boundary with them. It’s not really your place to blow the whole thing up, that will happen anyway
I had a friend like this, and she ultimately never changed her sinister ways. Imo, you can't trust a person who doesn't respect boundaries, and most likely, she isn't your friend either. Stay out of that, cut her off for your sake. Go find friends that share the same morals as you.
If your friend is fucking a married man they are trustworthy and will back stab you at any moment so don't worry too much about them. The husband is abusing his wife and could be bringing all kinds of diseases home to her. Tell the wife anonymously her husband is cheating, give her a date and time her husband was with you "friend", you don't need to say anything more or give details or points fingers the ball will be in her court.
Don’t involve yourself in other people’s affairs unless you are prepared to be fully engrossed in the drama and negativity yourself. People are sometimes murdered in these situations, just sayin, watch a YouTube documentary.
In one example the telling of the affair bonded them together….. in another example (real life) the messenger was called “liar” and told to leave the house. Forever.
It could go both ways. Be careful.
Yes you should tell his wife!
She shouldn’t be seeing a married man.
If you had a husband or have a husband, would you want someone to tell you if your husband was cheating on you? I would!
It’s the right thing to do.
I also wouldn’t keep her as a friend, she might try to get with your husband one day or when you get one. I learned not to have female friends like that.
If you want to go the sneaky route, act like a PI. Follow them and film their interactions in public places. Send the video to the wife,anonymously. Unless you slip up,they won’t know who sent it to her,though your friend might be suspicious.
Tell your friend she is making a mistake. Cheating husbands rarely leave their wives for the other woman. Warn her she’s going to get her heart broken. Ask her if she really wants to be a homewrecker? Is that the person she wants to be?
really your best option is to tell your friend you don't approve of this, and it puts you in a very awkward and uncomfortable position. Tell her you can't be around her while she travels this path but you're willing to be there when she's done.
Hay honestly Realspit just stay in your lain and just distance your friendship all because you disapprove on her behavior!! Dealing with a married man period!! 🙋🏾♂️💯
Yes - Tell the wife I don't know what kind of friend you have, whether it's because she has something go on in her childhood or if someone recently broke up with her or cheated on her or if she just has a horrible character flaw, but if she doesn't change, then I will. Suggest not only telling the wife, but you also need to have And find a better friend...... Because if she was his wife, would she be okay with him? Cheating on her.
also, the guy she'd attached to is a cheater.....what kind of logic is that
If I were the wife, I would want to know. As far as other people saying not to because that could cause WW3. That's not your fault. The damage has already been done in their marriage, and it wasn't caused by you. You're the only decent person giving her the truth. She deserves to know.
Write an anonymous note. For all the wife knows, it could be a neighbour who noticed something and thought she should know.
You don't have to convince her, but you can at least give the wife doubt. She can choose to investigate for herself or not.
Unless your friend is in danger or under age, I wouldn’t tell anyone. She’s your friend.. you are there for her through her good days and her mistakes. That’s part of being a friend.. you’re not going to agree with every choice she makes.
No, it's none of your business. If the husband is cheating, he'll be caught soon enough, cheaters always reveal themselves.
Seems OP wants to date her friend and is willing to ruin her relationship to do so.
OP has no idea of the married couple's arrangement, they could have a "don't ask, don't tell" agreement.
OP's only reasonable decision is to end the friendship, since she disapproves so much of her friend's actions.
But my guess is that OP will tell the wife, in hopes of ending her friend's relationship, so she can date the friend. OP is just trying to figure out a way to tell the wife without getting caught.
Query: do you want to keep a friend you know has no problems going after guys in relationship? I wouldn’t want a friend that would go after my partner if they felt so inclined. And she has already proven she has the capacity.
Definitely do not get involved. Terrible advice from other posters on this thread. Their relationship does not involve you and you do not possess the moral authority to cast judgement on others.
Don’t tell the wife. It’s the husband’s responsibility to be honest with her. You don’t know what’s going on in their relationship and they may have an open marriage.
Tell the wife, she has the right to know she could be exposed to STD’s. If he’ll do this with your friend he has probably already done it with other women too. Let the wife make her own informed decision.
NO. Stay out of it. And if you feel that way and it's bothering you, that much, leave her as your friend. Some people's business isn't worth getting into. Because you may get a backlash you didn't expect. Let her learn a hard lesson on her own. It's called life.
Two things are true here.
1. The husband is a jerk for cheating, and his wife deserves better. Your friend also has some questionable morals.
2. If you tell, you wont be friends with that friend anymore and if you have mutuals friends they might take her side. Should you care? Maybe not. A willful mistress may not be the best friend anyway.
It's also likely that the wife will eventually find out anyway, or that this isnt the first time and she's just biding her time, so maybe just wait and see how long it takes for things to blow up. Continue to advise your friend against being with a cheater, since if he’ll cheat with her he will cheat on her.
I think you should treat your friend differently. I think you should tell her to stop talking to you about her relationship with him because you don’t want to be part of that toxic energy. Push your friend to be a better person, don’t do the right thing for her… somehow try to push her to do the right thing by using you as leverage. Don’t stoop down to her level and accept this. Make her step up to your level. Girls like that will weigh you down in the long run bc a lot of insecurity is added to the equation after this type of relationship dynamic ends and you don’t want to be the one to help her through that after you’ve already warned her.
Get evidence first and then show the wife. Try and figure out a way to do it in person. Get a gun or weapon to protect yourself just in case, and no matter what your friend isnt your friend if they arent taking advice from you on something like this. Also if you are a female DO NOT trust her around any of your male partners.
If I were you, I would tell my friend, I would not continue the friendship, and then tell his wife. Don't be a friend and stab him in the back, if you can't severe the friendship, then don't tell his wife, don't betray your friends.
Tell the wife-ANY person on the receiving end of a cheating spouse would want this. If it ruins the friendship you have with this girl..well..WHY would you want to be friends with someone without morals? The company you keep is a reflection on you. Either STOP associating with her or STOP associating with her and tell the woman who doesn’t deserve this treatment and disrespect. I see only two answers.
There is 0 chance I would keep this person in my life. If they are so ok with doing this to another woman how do you trust them? Do you really think they won't do something horrid to you? I have been the wife before and would have appreciated a heads up. For emotional, financial, and health reasons. Nothing like explaining to your doc why you suddenly need a std panel done.
Stay out of it, you do not know that other family. If your friend's behavior (which I agree is wrong) bothers you that much, then stop spending time with her.
Friends share morals and values if, your “friend”, is sleeping with a married man and you don’t feel this is acceptable (because it’s not), then tell the wife but supply proof. You lose a friend but maintain your standards
If they have children together that live in the home just stay out of it. If they don’t have children in the home go for it. He’s a cheater whether it’s his wife or someone else. For any children’s sake don’t interfere
Please tell the wife. Victims of cheaters deserve to know who is coming home to them at night. Your friend could give the unsuspecting wife an STD / STI. Or the husband could be sleeping with multiple women and could give your friend something as well.
Please please tell the wife.
I don’t believe you should tell the wife. You might think about saying to your friend that you don’t want to associate with her while she’s in this type of relationship and leave it at that. She will show you how much she values your friendship by her actions.
Your friend.. is not the character you might not have around once you find some one. For her knowingly having a affair with a guy who won t leave his wife .a lot can be said. You can his wife in a way that does not need to drag you in..you can set up to connect the dots even catch him red handed. Be a sister and let the wife know she s being played..your friend. Does not care enough to see whats wrong with her actions.
yesh sure but get evidence first so she doesn't think you're screwing with her. also i would be prepared to ditch your friend cause people get upset when they're faced with the consequences of their actions.
the people saying to mind your business are spineless and are probably cheaters themselves. it's a moral obligation if you have information that interferes with someone's consent and bodily autonomy then yes, its immoral to side with the cheaters by saying nothing. cause that's all "minding your business" is, turning a blind eye to suffering you know is happening. she didn't consent to share fluid boundaries with your friend and without knowledge she can't make informed decisions about her life.
just get evidence. do it in person, online is easy to hide. plus if you're there it gives more of an opportunity to calm her down or call the cops if things get out of hand. the husband already has someone on his side, the wife deserves to feel like she has backup too given that she's the victim here.
I don't support cheating, but I also don't support people getting into other people's business when they think they know everything, because people are terrifying anymore.
You don't know these people. At all.
All you know is what your friend tells you and what the allegedly married man tells her.
He and his wife could be separated, they could have an agreement that he's fine to take a mistress without her knowledge because she doesn't want to know, they could have an open marriage arrangement that they don't make public knowledge... there's a ton of possibilities.
Either way, absolutely none of them are your business.
The truth will come out and it's not your job to insert yourself into this.
These scenarios can be extremely dangerous... it's not just the emotional hurt you have to worry about. Some people lash out and cause physical harm; some are even willing to commit murder over these things...
You just never know how someone will handle the truth.
Whatever you decide, be careful.
He’s the one in the relationship with the commitment to her, it’s his responsibility to tell his wife. People here acting crazy in the comments like they’re teenagers. You have no idea how he will react if you tell her and she likely will not believe you anyway, nor leave him. Grow up. You can also consider that friendship lost. Your friend thought you were a safe space if she confided in you so you might want to start with a conversation with her that you would consider blowing everyone’s life up because you can’t mind your business.
Please tell the wife and give her PROOF when you do. Screenshots of texts, pictures, receipts of places they go to in cases where he paid so she can confirm those payments with his bank statements. If you choose to overlook this, who’s to say your friend won’t backstab you and have an affair with your spouse? She’s already showing clear signs of fucked up morals and lack of remorse for taking part in knowingly breaking up a family. Just because she’s your “friend” doesn’t mean she’ll show you loyalty in the long run either.
If your morals don't align with your friend's then maybe you shouldn't be friends. That said I'm always amazed at how many women are willing to knowing be the other woman for the right man. They may not admit it to their friends and it may not be just any guy but in the right time and place most would do it.
If it were the other way around (hypothetically of course) what would you want done if your husband was cheating?
Tell her
If I was the wife I’d want to know.
It’s none of your business. Cut your friend off and understand you have your own stuff to deal with.
Yes. Do her a solid and tell her.
I am not encouraging people to cheat but I have no idea why you should get involved in something that does not concern you ?
My wife and I are open, I dated another married woman. One day my friend saw me out w the other woman, she then told My wife. My wife is like it’s fine, I don’t tell you everything about my personal life because it’s more your business
I’d drop her as a friend. She’s a horrible unfeeling selfish person. She’ll turn on you too when it suits her.
Do not get involved. They're adults right? What if you got involved and some 1/1000000 chance shit happens like the wife kills the husband or anyone hurts anyone.. you'll never forgive yourself. Do not get involved.
Do you want to forever end your relationship with her? Because that’s what’s gonna happen if you say anything. The truth is, other people’s relationship is not your business. I agree that she’s doing something morally reprehensible, but it’s not my (or your) place to judge much less get involved. Give her enough Rotte to hand herself and, if you truly care about her, be there to pick up the pieces when this all blows up in her face because, believe me (50M) it will. I’ve seen it too many times.
Fafo. Mind your own business and keep your mouth shut. You only stand to lose a friend and you have zero to gain.
I would not say anything it’s not yyplace ro get involved
Ffs why are you friends with garbage people? Tell the wife and ditch the home wreaker
Its very out of character I would never have expected it
Mind your own business.
Yes, you should tell the wife and then stip being friends with a person who would sleep with a married man.
Stay out of other peoples' business and drama will not come upon you. Get into it, and drama will soon beckon.
Just get some proof like a photo or text history and anonymously post it to the wife. Don’t mention it was you to anyone. He’s an asshole and she’s a shit person to but you don’t need to be the villain in this story. Just stay anonymous
Mind your business
Tell his wife and set her free
Do you reckon theres a risk of him actually coming to look for me?
Of course, there's a risk. The husband has already shown he'll make terrible decisions. If you reveal that he's behaving horribly and that causes him harm, financially or otherwise, why would anyone be surprised that he seeks a reckoning against you? He'll probably do it in a fashion that you don't expect, you won't see it coming. He's proven to be sneaky by having and hiding an affair. He'll probably wait a while, be calculated and cold, wait until you're alone and vulnerable. Sticking your nose into other people's business comes with big risks.
If he does, call the police!! He ruined his family. You did nothing wrong
Ask yourself: "Is this my business?" If you _truly_ feel it is, then go on ahead and get involved.
I could never stay friends with that person. Not sure if I would tell, but I would end our friendship completely.
Yup. She kept thinking he’d leave wife for her and it was never going to happen. Delusional.
Yep. None of my friends live that lifestyle. But if I found out a friend cheated on his wife I’d drop them , no doubt about it. I cannot be friends with a cheater
None that you know of
This is me
Dump your friend. Don’t be complicit in her philandering. It’s not really your place to tell the spouse but just know if you do there is no going back and the friendship will likely end anyway. So just save yourself the drama and let the friend go. No exceptions. Bad company corrupts good character.
Why do you want to remain friends with someone who is such a terrible, cruel, heartless person? You deserve better friends. Absolutely you should tell the betrayed spouse. People make all sorts of major life decisions based on thinking they are in a faithful relationship. The spouse could contract an STD. They could get pregnant or take out loans together. The betrayed person deserves to know.
I agree but its a surprising situation because she is usually normal person with good morals very similar to mine and this has come out of nowhere. If we werent as good friends I would just easily cut her off but its harder than expected to do so. The wife does definitely deserve to know although I do pity their kids but they eould surely long term be happier with happy parents anyway
If you’re worried about your friend lashing out on you, she already isn’t a worthy friend. A friend tells other friends how it really is, and doesn’t tolerate any extra bs from them, of course all with love. Your friend is doing something morally wrong— I personally think you should tell the wife because she has the right to know. Maybe collect proof, text messages or something if you feel that the wife won’t believe you. As always this is your call, do what you feel is right. But don’t let selfish people get away with selfish actions.
You can tell the wife and the wife can literally assault or murder your friend, poison the husband, or both. Maybe she just commits suicide instead and your friend feels guilty and follows suit. Maybe the guy gets violent because you took away his candy. Then at the funeral when you speak you can say "It was the right thing to do!" If violence doesn't happen - it doesn't matter because friend will not learn their lesson. They will see you as the villain and blame you and then just repeat the same shit with another man. They need to crash and burn on their own to learn. This is a moral failing of another person. It is not yours to correct, especially not without the full context. What you should do - is quietly exit the friendship.
Several things can happen. Say nothing and continue being friends. But when you get married you will be wondering if anything is happening behind your back. Say nothing and dump your friend. Tell the wife and let mayhem reign and shrug your shoulders when confronted.
You can judge a person by the quality of the company they choose to keep.
All is fair in love and war
Why do u care.do u pay her bills.or are you just jealous.
Really the only thing here that’s your business is your friendship with your friend. If you don’t like who she is or what she’s doing end the friendship and walk away from the whole thing. Problem solved.
I was in the same situation a few years back. I think you’ve said your piece as a friend, and now you have to decide if you want to keep your friend or let the truth out. I would caution against this since you have no idea whether this guy may react violently. It sucks, but usually the truth winds up coming out anyway and sometimes in life it’s better to just stay uninvolved in the drama while other people burn their own lives. If you end up telling the wife, take steps for yourself so that you remain anonymous if possible.
Puleeeze: mind your own business. You are not directly involved with this situation, why the need to get involved? If it bothers you horribly, distance yourself.
Mind. Your. Business. Chances are very good that she will find out. Don't get in the middle of it. Obviously their morals don't match yours and that is their prerogative.
Mind your own business is my advice. No good will come out of you meddling in their affairs.
You should definitely tell his wife
No, just stop being friends. Focus on your own life and stay out of other people's business unless someone is in immediate danger then call the authorities.
Weigh out the costs first . Like others have said, he's just gonna deny it and you will have lost your friendship. Would it do any good ? No. Will it cause a ton of drama? Yes. Ethically speaking, I would but please find a way to secure some evidence and do it anonymously so you don't have any backlash
I would end the friendship and move on with my life. This isn’t your business to involve yourself in. As stated by others, you don’t know what the wife does or doesn’t know. What you do know is that your friend isn’t the type of person you should call “a friend”. It would be one thing if you knew the wife and were complicit in lying to her but you don’t. A wife knows when something is amiss if she’s paying attention. Like my grandmother used to say “ What doesn’t come out in the wash will come out in the rinse”. Walk away and don’t look back.
None of your business.
“She knows it’s wrong and isn’t keen on it BUT….” I don’t know how you could want to salvage a friendship with this person but I’m seeing a bit of a theme. Everyone here sucks aside from the wife that’s getting cheated on. Your friend and the husband suck for their own obvious reasons. You suck too because you’re talking about completely nuking someone’s life like it’s nothing more than a badge of honor. It’s pretty obvious you’re not in this for a peaceful solution and that you don’t actually care about what’s best for your friend. If you actually cared, you’d be talking to her about this and not us. I’m not saying what he is doing is right but neither is what you’re talking about doing. Not unless all other options have been exhausted. You are simply not the right person to give her that information; you certainly shouldn’t be plan A. Give both him and your friend a chance to come clean before even considering that road, starting with him. Going straight to the nuclear option screams that this is far more about you than anyone else.
I think you should. His wife is the innocent one in this situation and deserves to know about her husband’s actions so that she can make an informed decision about whether or not to stay in the relationship. Cheaters usually don’t just cheat once, and your friend is likely one of many people he’s stepped out with. This puts the wife at risk of STDs which could be super dangerous if she ever gets pregnant or is immunocompromised. Your friend will get mad, and will probably lash out at you. But it seems like you’ve been very negatively affected by keeping this information to yourself, and you’ve also said that you thoroughly disagree with your friend’s actions. I’ve been in your position before and ultimately ended the friendship first before telling the wife and blocking all parties involved after to avoid drama. I won’t pretend this is easy and can’t speak on how dangerous it would be for you personally because I don’t know your full situation.
Thanks for understanding yes I suppose that does minimise the drama therafter
Just dump her as a friend. By telling his wife you're going to do that anyway. And you're going to be the bad guy. Just go ahead and don't be her friend anymore.
Stay out of it.
Maybe just mind your business. You have no idea what their relationship is like. Being a person of gossip and getting involved in other peoples lives without an invite will only hurt you in the end
I recomend looking up Dr. Marie Murphy, who counsels people who are engaging in infidelity. Murphy's website has a podcast series that covers a wide variety of topics and offer insight that might be helpful to you, your friend, and her affair partner. Being a third party to infidelity does not reflect on you or your morality. You don't need to police the relationships of others. If this is a friend that is repeatedly demonstrating that they are not the company you want to keep, based on their choices being contrary to your beliefs, you can choose not to have them in your life. If this is new, maybe just be there for them, try not to impose judgement, and resist taking away your friend's agency by intervening and further complicating an already messy situation–they may need you if this goes sideways.
Consider minding your own business, you don't have all the information. They could be practicing polyamory or many other scenarios and simply don't want the information out there.
Stay out of it
Do you enjoy drama? If you do, absolutely say something. Are you going to own up to your friend that you told or would this be an anonymous heads up? Personally I'm not a fan of morality policing even in situations I don't approve.
This is the correct take. Not only is becoming the moral police a bad idea but no one has the moral authority to appoint themselves to that position.
It's not your business. I was in your position before and it was my best friend being cheated on. I told her that the guy she was seeing, was still sleeping with his ex. I was quickly excommunicated from my entire friend group. She continued to see him. She's married to him now, and I haven't spoken to that group of people again. Lose, lose, lose situation. Mind your business!
If it were me it would tell the wife and expect my friendship to end. Although tbh I wouldn’t want to continue the friendship anyways. I don’t want to associate with people who have such low morals and go after married men.
Mind your business, sounds like you jealous.
Tell the wife. Your friend might hate you for it but she’s a bitch for knowingly and purposefully home wrecking a marriage. The guy is an AH too and doesn’t deserve the wife. What goes around comes around. Her karma will probably be some other ho taking her spot as mistress.
I don't understand when it went out of style for people to just mind their business. 2 consenting adults having an affair is not novel. And its not your moral dilemma to have. Also, maybe a hint of jealousy? Its atleast worth examining your own motivations for wanting to get involved.
Tell the wife. If possible, fed ex her photos of them together, anonymously. But absolutely tell her. I could have made life changing decisions if anyone who knew my ex husband was cheating had told me he was cheating in the 2 years before we had a kid together. Ditch that friend. She's not a good person. Lie down with dogs, rise up with fleas. She will fuck you over on something on a long enough timeline.
I realize you're looking for advice, and I personally think its morally right to tell the wife if you have some sort of proof. Record the friend, texts messages, etc. On an off note, this situation is so similar to the first lady in "Why Women Kill." She goes undercover and befriends the mistress. Lol, sorry it was random but the stories are so similar.
It’s not your problem right now. If you tell the wife, it will become your problem. If you care at all about your own peace, stay out of it. If your peace is being disrupted because of your friend’s actions, remove your friend from your life. Additionally, and I’m sure someone will have something to say about this, you nor your friend owe the wife anything. Her husband is the one cheating, not your friend. Yes it’s morally wrong what your friend is doing but she’s not the one who made the commitment to the wife.
Yes. Tell his wife. There is no dilemma here.
This is crazy. I do think the wife deserves to know. I think you should also be direct with your friend and tell her exactly what you think about what she’s doing. She can be pissed all she wants but at the end of the day, a friend who is honest is a true friend. If she can’t see that, then she isn’t a real friend.
You’ll be the very first person your friend suspects when sh!t hits the fan. And she will tell her bf. How solid is your poker face when under prolonged stress? Can you lie convincingly when your friend and her bf repeatedly berate you, insisting you must be the one who told his wife? If you are not a VERY good actor, do not attempt.
mind your own business
My advice? Stay the fuck out of other people's relationships. They're adults making adult choices and you don't have a clue what's actually driving it - don't drag your personal moral baggage into anybody else's life. You don't have to like it. It's not about you at all.
If it would definitely come back to you I say no. You're not the one doing these things and you already let your friend know how you feel. I suggest you only do that if it doesn't come back to you because it could become your problem, too much drama.
Tell them to watch Love & Death. It’s a true story about an affair that destroyed lives.
“I don’t want to lose my friendship with my POS friend. What should I do?” You have a moral dilemma and are trying to get out of dealing with it. Make it worse. Your friend is dating a 13 year old boy. Are you keeping that a secret from his parents so you don’t lose your friendship? This isn’t a moral dilemma unless you honestly acknowledge that you don’t need to be friends with someone that breaks your moral code. Stay friends. Maybe someday she can sleep with your spouse/partner behind your back as well, but at least you’ll still be friends. You don’t want to tell his wife. Tell her family and other friends and see how they feel. You can play the “not my circus, not my monkeys”, but just let her know your friendship is over. She won’t even fight to save your friendship and you’ll know where you stand.
I understand you feeling this way, but you don’t have to agree with everything everyone else does. That’s not your job to make everyone think and act like you. We all have a life of free will and yours extends to who you want in your life, but you don’t get to strongarm their choices because you don’t like them. Just exit their life.
This isn't a friend you want in your life. She has zero morals. will break up a family without a thought. Not someone to associate with going forward. Please do tell.
Not your problem stay out of it
Stay out of it. Stop being her friend. You will get caught in the explosion.
I watched this tiktok and this guy jonbreaksbadnews.com is exactly how it sounds and he’ll do the job for ya!
Just stay out of it. Not your business
Why would you do that? It’s none of your business lol
Mind your business.
No, it's immoral to enforce your will onto others. If they're happy and comfortable now, leave them alone.
Did a boyfriend die on her? We have a good friend who had several inappropriate boyfriends through the years. I had a heart-to-heart talk with her and she really thought about it. She had a fight with her high school sweetheart, he left in a fury, crashed his car and was gone forever. She thought about it and said she never wanted that kind of loss again, didn't want another boyfriend she'd maybe lose like that again and had since only had boyfriends she wouldn't care that deeply about if she did break up--married men, guys who lived in their parents' basement at 40, etc. She broke up with her current married boyfriend and found a guy whom she stayed with for 20+ years.
ALL cheaters deserve to be caught. No exceptions.
So she shouldn't date this guy because of all the negative consequences. And if those negative consequences aren't going to happen organically you'll make them happen. You're a great friend. Stay the the hell out of their business. If it's going to blow up then let it - why do you want to be responsible. Don't get involved in other people's drama full stop.
Stay out of it
I mean you can tattle if your friendship means so little to you. Monogamy is antiquated.
It’s not your business. For all you know they could have an open marriage. Mind your own biscuits and life will be gravy.
Stay out of it. Breaking up a marriage could cause serious ramifications for all parties. I would still be friends if my bestie did that, but I would not throw him under the bus.....EVER. Let karma do it's thang.
you guys are a bunch of bystanders in these comments fr i would HATE to have y'all as "friends"
Not your business. Period.
I would end the friendship and tell the wife. But you will need proof. So have that before you do anything. This friend knows it wrong and you need a friend with better morals who does what is right. End the friendship.
If you were the wife, wouldn't you want someone to tell you?
Absolutely
It’s really not your business. Why get involved. If you disagree with what your friend is doing then create a boundary with them. It’s not really your place to blow the whole thing up, that will happen anyway
Jesus please stay out of people’s business
Do not tell. Mind your own business.
mind yours.
Yes, won't go well, but absolutely.
What's your friend after from the relationship?
I had a friend like this, and she ultimately never changed her sinister ways. Imo, you can't trust a person who doesn't respect boundaries, and most likely, she isn't your friend either. Stay out of that, cut her off for your sake. Go find friends that share the same morals as you.
Stay out of it.
If your friend is fucking a married man they are trustworthy and will back stab you at any moment so don't worry too much about them. The husband is abusing his wife and could be bringing all kinds of diseases home to her. Tell the wife anonymously her husband is cheating, give her a date and time her husband was with you "friend", you don't need to say anything more or give details or points fingers the ball will be in her court.
If you tell you will most likely lose your friend. Up to you.
You should stay out of it, and break off your friendship with the friend. Getting in the middle of this will only end badly for you.
Mind your own business, and leave the friend.
Don’t involve yourself in other people’s affairs unless you are prepared to be fully engrossed in the drama and negativity yourself. People are sometimes murdered in these situations, just sayin, watch a YouTube documentary.
Stay out of it and lose the friendship. Be blunt as to why. “I’m sorry but I can’t be friends with someone I can’t respect.”
This is none of your business. Stay out of it.
No, mind your own business. Your views are not relevant. End the friendship if need be, but don't get involved
Found the cheater. Only a cheater would say no to this.
Would you like to be informed if you were in her place? I find it a good rule of thumb
In one example the telling of the affair bonded them together….. in another example (real life) the messenger was called “liar” and told to leave the house. Forever. It could go both ways. Be careful.
This is none of your business. I suppose you ‘don’t like drama’ too, lol
Yes you should tell his wife! She shouldn’t be seeing a married man. If you had a husband or have a husband, would you want someone to tell you if your husband was cheating on you? I would! It’s the right thing to do. I also wouldn’t keep her as a friend, she might try to get with your husband one day or when you get one. I learned not to have female friends like that.
No, stay out of it
Do you want friends like her? Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future
No.
Not your business, not your problem.
If you want to go the sneaky route, act like a PI. Follow them and film their interactions in public places. Send the video to the wife,anonymously. Unless you slip up,they won’t know who sent it to her,though your friend might be suspicious.
Tell your friend she is making a mistake. Cheating husbands rarely leave their wives for the other woman. Warn her she’s going to get her heart broken. Ask her if she really wants to be a homewrecker? Is that the person she wants to be?
I'd tell the wife and never talk to that friend again. I don't need shitty humans in my life.
really your best option is to tell your friend you don't approve of this, and it puts you in a very awkward and uncomfortable position. Tell her you can't be around her while she travels this path but you're willing to be there when she's done.
Hay honestly Realspit just stay in your lain and just distance your friendship all because you disapprove on her behavior!! Dealing with a married man period!! 🙋🏾♂️💯
Yes - Tell the wife I don't know what kind of friend you have, whether it's because she has something go on in her childhood or if someone recently broke up with her or cheated on her or if she just has a horrible character flaw, but if she doesn't change, then I will. Suggest not only telling the wife, but you also need to have And find a better friend...... Because if she was his wife, would she be okay with him? Cheating on her. also, the guy she'd attached to is a cheater.....what kind of logic is that
If I were the wife, I would want to know. As far as other people saying not to because that could cause WW3. That's not your fault. The damage has already been done in their marriage, and it wasn't caused by you. You're the only decent person giving her the truth. She deserves to know. Write an anonymous note. For all the wife knows, it could be a neighbour who noticed something and thought she should know. You don't have to convince her, but you can at least give the wife doubt. She can choose to investigate for herself or not.
Unless your friend is in danger or under age, I wouldn’t tell anyone. She’s your friend.. you are there for her through her good days and her mistakes. That’s part of being a friend.. you’re not going to agree with every choice she makes.
No, it's none of your business. If the husband is cheating, he'll be caught soon enough, cheaters always reveal themselves. Seems OP wants to date her friend and is willing to ruin her relationship to do so. OP has no idea of the married couple's arrangement, they could have a "don't ask, don't tell" agreement. OP's only reasonable decision is to end the friendship, since she disapproves so much of her friend's actions. But my guess is that OP will tell the wife, in hopes of ending her friend's relationship, so she can date the friend. OP is just trying to figure out a way to tell the wife without getting caught.
To clarify😂thats not true, im just a normal woman in a happy relationship, wishing other people cohld also respect commited relationships
Query: do you want to keep a friend you know has no problems going after guys in relationship? I wouldn’t want a friend that would go after my partner if they felt so inclined. And she has already proven she has the capacity.
Then end your friendship and stop supporting a cheater.
Not your wife, not your life.
How old is your friend and the older guy?
Tell the wife with proof.
Definitely do not get involved. Terrible advice from other posters on this thread. Their relationship does not involve you and you do not possess the moral authority to cast judgement on others.
Fuck that. Wouldn't you want to be told?
No. They’ll blame you in this for something
Mind. Your. Business
At a certain point you got to accept if you don’t tell the wife you are also a bad person and just as culpable
I’d lose the friendship. So very little of this entire situation is worth getting involved in.
Don’t tell the wife. It’s the husband’s responsibility to be honest with her. You don’t know what’s going on in their relationship and they may have an open marriage.
Tell the wife, she has the right to know she could be exposed to STD’s. If he’ll do this with your friend he has probably already done it with other women too. Let the wife make her own informed decision.
NO. Stay out of it. And if you feel that way and it's bothering you, that much, leave her as your friend. Some people's business isn't worth getting into. Because you may get a backlash you didn't expect. Let her learn a hard lesson on her own. It's called life.
Two things are true here. 1. The husband is a jerk for cheating, and his wife deserves better. Your friend also has some questionable morals. 2. If you tell, you wont be friends with that friend anymore and if you have mutuals friends they might take her side. Should you care? Maybe not. A willful mistress may not be the best friend anyway. It's also likely that the wife will eventually find out anyway, or that this isnt the first time and she's just biding her time, so maybe just wait and see how long it takes for things to blow up. Continue to advise your friend against being with a cheater, since if he’ll cheat with her he will cheat on her.
I think you should treat your friend differently. I think you should tell her to stop talking to you about her relationship with him because you don’t want to be part of that toxic energy. Push your friend to be a better person, don’t do the right thing for her… somehow try to push her to do the right thing by using you as leverage. Don’t stoop down to her level and accept this. Make her step up to your level. Girls like that will weigh you down in the long run bc a lot of insecurity is added to the equation after this type of relationship dynamic ends and you don’t want to be the one to help her through that after you’ve already warned her.
Refreshing take and largely I agree, but to me we are’nt really proper friends if we can’t tell each other everything
Mind your business. You don't the other people
Get evidence first and then show the wife. Try and figure out a way to do it in person. Get a gun or weapon to protect yourself just in case, and no matter what your friend isnt your friend if they arent taking advice from you on something like this. Also if you are a female DO NOT trust her around any of your male partners.
Don’t get involved in other peoples messes. I don’t know why everyone always thinks to run and go tattle tale on somebody. They are adults.
My advice do nothing, get rid of your friend - she will cheat you too either on the short or long term
No, remind the married man what his vows are
If I were you, I would tell my friend, I would not continue the friendship, and then tell his wife. Don't be a friend and stab him in the back, if you can't severe the friendship, then don't tell his wife, don't betray your friends.
mind ur business.
If you tell her, do it with proof.
Get evidence first so the wife will actually believe you. .....and you will most likely lose your friend over this.
No
Tell the wife-ANY person on the receiving end of a cheating spouse would want this. If it ruins the friendship you have with this girl..well..WHY would you want to be friends with someone without morals? The company you keep is a reflection on you. Either STOP associating with her or STOP associating with her and tell the woman who doesn’t deserve this treatment and disrespect. I see only two answers.
There is 0 chance I would keep this person in my life. If they are so ok with doing this to another woman how do you trust them? Do you really think they won't do something horrid to you? I have been the wife before and would have appreciated a heads up. For emotional, financial, and health reasons. Nothing like explaining to your doc why you suddenly need a std panel done.
Lose the friend that Lil home wrecking hoe .might go after your bf next
I would seriously advise you to stay out of it. You will find yourself in a very complicated situation and you will lose your friend.
Stay out of it, you do not know that other family. If your friend's behavior (which I agree is wrong) bothers you that much, then stop spending time with her.
Friends share morals and values if, your “friend”, is sleeping with a married man and you don’t feel this is acceptable (because it’s not), then tell the wife but supply proof. You lose a friend but maintain your standards
Mind your own business.
Tell the wife and be prepared with undeniable proof pics, texts, emails, video from security cameras, etc.
Mind your business, nothing will come from you interfering and your friend will probably think you are a hater.
Your friend vs the right thing.
Mind your own fkn business.
Life is better when you mind your own business. For all we know they could have an open marriage. It's pointless to let others endeavors consume you.
If they have children together that live in the home just stay out of it. If they don’t have children in the home go for it. He’s a cheater whether it’s his wife or someone else. For any children’s sake don’t interfere
Please tell the wife. Victims of cheaters deserve to know who is coming home to them at night. Your friend could give the unsuspecting wife an STD / STI. Or the husband could be sleeping with multiple women and could give your friend something as well. Please please tell the wife.
I don’t believe you should tell the wife. You might think about saying to your friend that you don’t want to associate with her while she’s in this type of relationship and leave it at that. She will show you how much she values your friendship by her actions.
It is none of your business, concentrate on your own life.
Your friend.. is not the character you might not have around once you find some one. For her knowingly having a affair with a guy who won t leave his wife .a lot can be said. You can his wife in a way that does not need to drag you in..you can set up to connect the dots even catch him red handed. Be a sister and let the wife know she s being played..your friend. Does not care enough to see whats wrong with her actions.
Stay out of it. Nothing good can come out of this for you.
Both are pieces of shit. I hate anyone who cheats. Your unmarried friend is equally a horrible person.
Mind your own business
yesh sure but get evidence first so she doesn't think you're screwing with her. also i would be prepared to ditch your friend cause people get upset when they're faced with the consequences of their actions. the people saying to mind your business are spineless and are probably cheaters themselves. it's a moral obligation if you have information that interferes with someone's consent and bodily autonomy then yes, its immoral to side with the cheaters by saying nothing. cause that's all "minding your business" is, turning a blind eye to suffering you know is happening. she didn't consent to share fluid boundaries with your friend and without knowledge she can't make informed decisions about her life. just get evidence. do it in person, online is easy to hide. plus if you're there it gives more of an opportunity to calm her down or call the cops if things get out of hand. the husband already has someone on his side, the wife deserves to feel like she has backup too given that she's the victim here.
Speaking as a wife, yes.
If someone was fucking your husband, would you want to know?????
MYOB.
I don't support cheating, but I also don't support people getting into other people's business when they think they know everything, because people are terrifying anymore. You don't know these people. At all. All you know is what your friend tells you and what the allegedly married man tells her. He and his wife could be separated, they could have an agreement that he's fine to take a mistress without her knowledge because she doesn't want to know, they could have an open marriage arrangement that they don't make public knowledge... there's a ton of possibilities. Either way, absolutely none of them are your business. The truth will come out and it's not your job to insert yourself into this. These scenarios can be extremely dangerous... it's not just the emotional hurt you have to worry about. Some people lash out and cause physical harm; some are even willing to commit murder over these things... You just never know how someone will handle the truth. Whatever you decide, be careful.
It’s none of your business so I would stay out of it.
YES
MYOB
He’s the one in the relationship with the commitment to her, it’s his responsibility to tell his wife. People here acting crazy in the comments like they’re teenagers. You have no idea how he will react if you tell her and she likely will not believe you anyway, nor leave him. Grow up. You can also consider that friendship lost. Your friend thought you were a safe space if she confided in you so you might want to start with a conversation with her that you would consider blowing everyone’s life up because you can’t mind your business.
Please tell the wife and give her PROOF when you do. Screenshots of texts, pictures, receipts of places they go to in cases where he paid so she can confirm those payments with his bank statements. If you choose to overlook this, who’s to say your friend won’t backstab you and have an affair with your spouse? She’s already showing clear signs of fucked up morals and lack of remorse for taking part in knowingly breaking up a family. Just because she’s your “friend” doesn’t mean she’ll show you loyalty in the long run either.
Not your circus not your monkeys.
Bottom line here is you stay out of it. Your loyalty is to your friend not the cheating bastard or his wife
Yes and I haven't even read the text
If your morals don't align with your friend's then maybe you shouldn't be friends. That said I'm always amazed at how many women are willing to knowing be the other woman for the right man. They may not admit it to their friends and it may not be just any guy but in the right time and place most would do it.