You're only a week into recovering from a major medical procedure that has completely changed your life - it's completely normal to feel big and conflicting emotions, particularly about something like your baby's name.
Is there a particular reason you chose the name you did? Focusing on those reasons might help you connect with it more. If you're worried about it not being 'special' - it's a special name because it's hers! As for what she looks like, new born babies look different every single day because they grow and change so quickly. In a week or a month, she could look more like 'Emma' than like your second choice name.
Thank you for providing your source. That makes this much easier to discuss.
Seeing the source I can see why you misunderstood the chart. It says
> Unique or rare names accounted for 86% of all baby names in 2022.
> Fewer than five children with the same name.
That’s does not mean 86% of of babies had a name shared with 4 or fewer other babies. It means 86% of names had 5 or fewer occurrences.
This is a critical difference. To make it clear let’s look at some hypothetical data:
|**Name**|**Number of Babies**|
:--|:--|
|Sarah|98|
|James|1|
|John|1|
In this case 67% of names would have 5 or fewer babies with that name. However only 2% of babies would have a name with 5 or fewer occurrences.
I downloaded the data from the linked source an ran the numbers myself in excel. 90% of babies had a name shared with 5 or more other babies. Only 10% had “unique” names.
This isn’t right. Unique names (less than 5 occurrences) accounted for 86% of the 44,545 names used in Canada that year. However, that doesn’t mean that 86% of all newborn Canadians were named those rare names.
Tomorrow you Call the Office that has authority or knowledge to namechange. Of course it can be changed. And when they answer i Think you Will know what name to choose. When you have the option again it Will be clear
Actually in many countries it‘s not that easy.
I‘m from Germany as well and the laws to change your name are quite strict (although they got a little bit easier over the years).
Yes. Just read up on it and in Germany you can't change the name anymore after handing in all the paperwork. Only if you leave the field for the name empty you would have a month to submit it.
And "I just don't like it" is not an acceptable reason for German bureaucracy to change a name. "Important reasons" would be if the name was Pink Panty, Adolf Hitler or took a huge toll on the name bearers mental health (which would be hard to prove and not desirable for 2 days old Emma)
Does seem crazy that less than a week of knowing a child and they are supposed to have a name set in stone for the rest of their life.
In aus we have I think 2 months to hand in the forms.
It's a hang up about stupid names, bc the law says it is unfair to name a child something that is knowingly controversial or invites bullying. Which makes sense especially in Germany – names that are banned include a long string of Nazi names...
She's a tiny human being and what she looks and seems like now will probably be very different from what she will be 10, 20 or 30 years from now. You're not naming a baby, you're naming a person.
Yes yes! Our second choice name was Cameron. It’s a lovely name. A week after he was born I wondered if we made the right choice. He’s now a young adult and that self-doubt was fleeting. We definitely made the right choice initially.
I think they can, but it's also worth keeping in mind that newborns' appearance chances a LOT and you kind of don't know what they actually look like until they're a few months old, let alone their personality.
Mostly, people grow into their names I think. Emma is classic and doesn't really age. Some of the younique names will age very poorly and I believe the number of requests for a change will be sky-high in 20
It may be quite easy to find a nickname later on, when her personality has shown itself.
I totally agree with this. We had a girl name picked out my entire pregnancy and if the baby was a girl (we didn’t find out gender) we would 100% be naming her that. The boy name we had picked felt so perfect, and so did the girl name but it was a little more out of the box. Sure enough she was a girl and it felt kind of weird saying at first but I love the name. Sometimes when people ask “what’s your baby’s name” it still feels weird saying it but I know she will continue to grow into it and it’s perfect for her.
My sister was named a very uncommon name but her middle name was super common. My parents decided she didn’t look like her first name once bringing her home and she has always gone by her middle name, which to this day suits her so much more. Names can be changed, especially when you’re this early on and baby doesn’t know their name yet.
Give it a few weeks before you panic. You are in the most major hormonal shift a human being can go through right now. Everything is going to feel overwhelming and bananas right now. You could feel very differently a month or two from now.
Congrats on the baby!!
Think about why you chose the name in the first place. I'm sure it has loads of great qualities!
I've found that once you name a baby, there's a bit of a comedown period where it's hard to stop thinking about all the other options and accept that your choice is final. It doesn't mean you made the wrong choice, it's just your brain doing brain things.
Also FWIW I'm named the "Emma" of my generation and I like having a common, classic name. I like that everyone knows it instantly and it never causes any problems. Your child will be a completely unique little person without needing a unique name.
Having said all that, if your partner is open to changing it, you can look into whether it's possible. If it's not, then at least you have peace of mind knowing the decision's out of your hands.
Use her name, I found it so hard to feel like I made the right choice but honestly after using it often it felt more like hers. It takes a while but say her name, it helps!
Hey you know what - it goes away.
I had this exact feeling and I felt like I’d announced and had things personalised etc.
I wanted to change it some days and felt like social pressure stopped me.
Everyone on Reddit said it goes away and now I’m here with my 1 year old saying “yup it goes away”.
It’s just a bit of panic. Her name was your first choice, trust your self.
Is there a partner you can talk this through with? On the one hand, you’re recovering from a lot right now and your emotions are going to be high. On the other, sometimes we have a gut feeling, and if you want to change her name, sooner is better (if you can, I don’t know what the process is in Germany). If you don’t have a partner, a trusted family member, friend, or a therapist?
If it is too late to change the name, try not to obsess about it. If you feel more strongly about the second name as more time passes, you could always call her by that name rather than her "legal" name. This is exactly what happened to my aunt (American). She was named after her mom, but grew up with everyone calling her by her middle name because idk maybe it was weird to have two people with mom's name in the house? It's wild to me that Germany does not allow people to change their names without a "good reason."
The bureaucracy in germany is next level, you would not believe how complicated everything can be.
Having said that, I chose a name I loved for both my kids and it took me a few weeks to like them or feel like they were right. You just have to use it a lot until it feels right. Even though I always felt weird talking to a baby
I had name regret and ultimately changed my kid’s name. It was like an 7-8 month process from start to finish. I’m in the US. I don’t regret changing his name but I also think he’d have been just fine with his old name. I definitely had some post partum anxiety that led me to fixate on his name and probably made me go from slightly thinking his name didn’t fit (an issue that probably would have gone away the more I used his name and the name association to baby grew stronger) to “omg I screwed up and named him wrong”.
I obviously don’t know if anxiety is something you are struggling with and I don’t know if changing your baby’s name is the choice you should make.But what I would do is go ahead and find out what the process is, find out if changing her name is an option. If it is, then you can take the next step in deciding. If it’s not an option, I’d try to focus on building positive association between your baby and her name.
Either way, if you feel you may be suffering from post partum anxiety, please know that it’s common, you aren’t alone, and if you feel it may help, please consult your doctor/midwife/medical provider.
Tbh I think it’s normal to feel anxiety about a decision that feels as big as naming a person does. And I think you can’t *really* get an objective idea of how you feel about the name while that anxiety is very present and hanging over your head.
I don’t think you should worry much about your baby not looking like an “Emma” (I understand that that’s not the actual name), because as you bond with your baby “Emma” will start to look like her, if that makes sense. Especially since it’s a classic name, it’s not a bad thing that it feels like a blank slate, because she will fill the name with her personality.
I regretted my baby’s name at first too. I would look at her and think, why did I name you that instead of another name. But she’s 11 months old now and I can’t imagine calling her anything else.
Congratulations and I’m sure it will grow on you. You named her that because you thought it was a nice name, right? Best of luck to you and your bundle🥰
Kids tend to grow into their names even when it doesn’t seem like the right fit at first. Unless your kid is trans, in which case they’re gonna pick their own name and you won’t have to worry about this one sticking.
I had this happen to me too! We were 100% sure of our name, and named baby that when she was born. Then the hormone crash happened and I was convinced she was 2nd choice name. I thought that for a whole month and could barely say her name without crying because I felt like it was all wrong. Now that I'm on the other side I know that we were right in giving our first choice. Give it some time! That being said, name regret can be a symptom of PPD (which I was diagnosed with) so be gentle with yourself and be on the lookout for other signs of that.
I wouldn’t stress too much. She’s so new and your hormones are going bonkers right now. I felt the same about my daughter who IS named Emma lol. We wanted to name her Emma or Aurora. Aurora has more meaning for us since my husband is from a country with the Aurora borealis and we had a special experience at a concert by the artist Aurora. For whatever reason though we liked Emma more and just never got it out of our heads. About a week after she was born I decided we’d made a mistake and should have gone with Aurora. I was so sad I’d given my baby such a common name. She’s now 6.5 months and I’m so glad we chose Emma. It suits her perfectly, everyone we meet says how much they love her name, and I couldn’t imagine her being an Aurora. When they’re newborns it’s really hard to know what they’ll look like and be like even just a week later. I’d recommend giving it some time and if you’re still feeling like this in a few months you could look into changing her name, use her middle name, or even just give her a nickname.
We named our daughter - literally - the #1 most popular girls name in my country - for the last several years. My wife and I talked about it for a long time. I'm a very data driven, logical person - every logical bine in my body said - I don't want that common of a name. But - after many months of consideration - it's the only one that felt right, comfortable, etc. For the first several months of her life, I felt embarrassed saying her name - like I couldnt come up with something less common. And everywhere we go she's usually got another kid with the same name.
Buuuut - she's now over a year old, and I can't imagine her as any other name. We made her a cute, unique nick name, and she literally just looks like her name now.
I'd say give it time. There's a reason you chose that name. It's easy to spiral and start having regrets. For now - enjoy your time with the little one. If you hate the name, come up with a nick name you love. Over time you will come to love it. 💜
If the name is Anna, I have an 18-year-old named Anna. She loves her name, and despite it being considered common, there are only 3 Annas in her graduating class of 300+ kids.
My name is so common that I have so many examples of other Katies out there doing amazing things. My name is so common I can tell everyone on here my name is Katie with no worries. Because my name is so common I strive to be the first Katie they think about when people hear my name. When I do something great and people are like who did this? They can say “katydid” which is cute little grasshopper.
My friend renamed 3 of her 5 kids. It was strange for the first 10 minutes of the first kid. Afterwards, eh. If the second name is better, sleep on it for a week. Practice calling her that. Make the change. Congrats on your new baby!
I had these EXACT same feelings just after the birth of my youngest. Highly suggest not making big decisions this soon after delivery. Give it a few months, research what it’ll be like to change it if you just can’t see her being the name you’ve given. My son is 2 now, we didn’t change his name and he’s definitely grown into it and I couldn’t imagine him being something else.
I felt like this about 2 weeks in with my daughter, I kept constantly thinking what would it have been like to be calling you 2nd name and have I chose the right one, now she’s 2 and I couldn’t imagine her having a different name and even the 2nd choice name wouldn’t suit now
My daughter is Emma Francesca (husband is of German descent and I’m of Italian)
At first naming your baby is so weird, but soon memories and her face will connect the name to her, a little person you love so much that you’ll love the name
I had major baby name regret probably up until my baby was 3ish months. I felt like I had made a huge mistake with her name but I also felt trapped because everyone already knew her name, and how was I going to explain to friends and family that we changed it?
But as she got older and started developing more of a personality, I started feeling more and more like her name was perfect for her. By the time she was 6 months I couldn’t imagine her as anything else.
If it truly feels wrong to you, I’m sure you can change it down the road, but I think you should give it a month or two and see how you feel.
1. emotional changes such as sudden regret are common for postpartum episodes. rest well and good luck, congrats you have brought a new life into the world!
2. legal name isn't that important. you can address the kid by their legal name, or a nickname, or whatever. so unfortunate you can't change the papers, what kind of system is that >:( is there at least an option a name change later?
3. maybe when the little one grows up, they won't like their given name anymore. maybe they will, but maybe not, everything happens. after all, we give em names because small babies can't name themselves yet.
you're only at the start of your journey, you can call each other whatever, you'll be Mom and they'll be Emma, or Ella, or Eva, and it will be a wonderful time for you both. cheers\~
I was scrolling to find this response. I completely agree - I think there’s a very good chance that this feeling will go away and so I would give it a little time, but even if the regret persists and you truly can’t change the legal name, you can still call your child what you wish. My brother is named after our father and grandfather and has always gone by something that is not his legal first or middle name - at home, school, everywhere. Never caused him any problems at all and there is no one in his life who thinks of him by any other name.
Your hormones are everywhere and you just went through major medical surgery angel girl !! obviously regret will follow you everywhere and if you still feel like your baby doesn’t look like an emma in about 2 weeks then try your absolute hardest to change that to your second choice but just be sure it’s exactly what you want. if it makes you feel a bit better, my name is emma and they didn’t choose that name until 2 weeks after i was born. I’ve grown to love my name and i don’t think any other name would’ve suited me better, so if you don’t think your baby is an emma then she most probably isn’t and if you know you’ll feel more relieved changing her name then again try your hardest !!! congratulations on your baby 🩷🩷🩷
1. Find out if you can change it
2. Based on that, decide what to do. I'd be inclined to trust your feelings on this one. People change their names in adult life, so no big deal to change it at one week old!
I haven't experienced this myself but as others have said, you've went through major life changes and there are lots of hormones involved. It's easy to second-guess yourself in all of it. Is there anything going on with the chaos of newborn craziness that is making you feel like you've lost some control? Just a speculation but maybe that's a possibility why you're doubting and your mind is contemplating the decision.
Weirdly, I’ve read about a lot of Moms having similar stories and obsessing that their kid’s names are wrong. Pamela Druckerman went through this exact thing in France, she felt like she had given each of her twin boys the wrong name and wanted to switch them, but couldn’t. Things got better once her hormones settled. Give yourself another couple of weeks!
Unpopular opinion? A name is a name. And especially with a child so young that it doesn’t even have an impact yet, if you don’t like it, change it. It’s honestly that simple. Granted, it may be a less-simple process to change it where you are at. But as an overall idea. You have a brand new kid that knows nothing about anything and if you feel their given name doesn’t suit them, you have the power to correct that. Period. It just isn’t that complicated.
I felt this way too. She will just become the name. Before you know it, you won’t be able to hear or see “Emma” without thinking of the person you love the most in the world. It won’t matter what was before.
The exact same thing happened to me!
We gave my daughter a very pretty and somehow commun name, but she looked too unique to me so we changed her name (for a name I always find of disliked, but my husband lives it and it's rare where we live).
I would'nt say I regret the change, but the first name was definitely prettier and flowed better with our last name. That's why it was our first choice!
I always knew my kids name was going to be Elliot, he's 10 now and it fits him, but not every parent will feel the same way. It's completely normal to have this problem, and you should definitely change it before it's too late. Go for it.
My son is named the #1 name in my state for 2023… and #1 overall in the U.S. several years running. Whoops. I honestly did not know when we signed his birth certificate. When I found out.. I was pretty surprised but it didn’t make me love his name any less. The name you chose was your top pick for a reason! As long as you love it, it doesn’t matter!
after my daughter was born I regretted her name, but only because she was a baby and I wasn’t used to it. I rarely used her name because it seemed too much for a baby. The older she got the more I got used to it and loved it.
I remember looking at my newborn and thinking “what have I done?! How did I convince myself of this name? Why would my husband let this happen?”
Step back. Don’t get too in your head — it is hard to spend so much energy on a name and the expectations that come with the name and then put it on a little stranger.
I struggled with regret soooo much with my first born! It seems so silly now because he embodies his name perfectly. Take comfort in the fact that you won’t always feel this way
You are not alone. Once home from the hospital my husband and I had regrets. It just didn't feel right. When she was 4 days old we went to the Bureau of VS... in the US to file the paperwork to legally change her name. We arrived the day her birth certificate was to be officially filed. She handed me an eraser and had me write in her new name. She turns 34 today. Have never regretted it.
We were debating between two names for my daughter for a while. When I was postpartum and hormonal I second guessed our name choice so many times and even told my husband I was worried we chose the wrong one. I think it was just the baby blues talking because I absolutely love her name 3 years later and can’t imagine her being called anything else.
Both my husband and I had regret when we named our youngest. We hadn't talked about until about a month later, but by then we realised we both felt that way. We kept the name and today it is the perfect name for our kid. Sometimes kids need to grow into their name.
I had name regret the first month, and almost exclusively called him baby. I felt like no name was worthy of this perfect being. Over time I got more comfortable, practiced calling him his name and now I can’t imagine any other name. In my experience there are a lot of emotions post partum and sometimes you just have to let the dust settle. For reference, my son has a classic common name.
My head was all over the place when my daughter was born after a traumatic birth, extreme fatigue and extreme hormones. I genuinely forgot her name several times that week and it just didn’t come out of my mouth without a split second delay while I had to think about it. I worried it didn’t suit her but soon after I wasn’t so all over the place, it made total sense and completely suited her!
I had a few weeks of regret and doubt after I picked our daughters name.
We had a similar situation and I picked the second option. It wasn't too unique, a lot of people have that name, but it is definitely more of a specific-to-our-country than the alternative.
It's a weird thing, seeing a new baby and trying to see the person they are, especially when you chose the thing you call them. I found it easier once they grew up a bit and started showing some personality. Give it some time, try the name out, let it grow on her a bit. If, in a year, you still regret it, well... you can always use a nickname, or middlename.
I went through it as well with my first, but almost ten years in, and the name suits him. It's common and classic and can be shortened. Plus, we picked it because it had special meaning. It will pass.
I have 3 kids and it took me honestly about 6 months to love each of their names and truly feel they fit. I don’t know why but each time the name association has had to grow on me. I love classic names by the way!
I also wish I had given my daughter a different name. Although it wasn’t completely up to me and now she’s 3 months old and suddenly I’ve thought of this other name. Sometimes life chooses for us in a way or the energy of the moment. You can always request a name change if the feeling lingers, and if it’s not possible then it’s in the universe’s hands.
Maybe an unpopular opinion, but from the way you talk about the experience, I would find a way to change the legal name to your second, i.e. Top, choice. It may not be convenient, but It'll be worth it in the long run...and the ordeal will make a good story for your daughter and you. Good luck!
As someone suggested above, if you can call and have it amended, add the new name as a second first name. Then as she grows you can see what works best.
Either way, I’m sure you choose the right name and you are worrying unnecessarily.
Congratulations!!
Sit with it for a while. So early it’s hard to tell what’s hormones and what you’ll get used to. When I still thought about it all the time at 6 weeks, we decided to change it. We called him the new name for four weeks then changed it legally. I have never regretted it or second guessed it.
Give it a few weeks. If you're still feeling like this, start calling her the second choice name and see how it feels.
This happens all the time and I'm sure Germany has figured out a way to handle it. My friend's mom changed her name at 6 months old.
I named my son Derek in the ‘80’s not realizing the coming popularity of the name. But it’s the name the universe destined for him. It fits. I like solid, familiar names. Unique names can be challenging. There’s something to be said for a good timeless name. I had a neighbor from England named Derek who was in his 70’s. I would let it stay and see if it sticks
In my country we have 1 year from birth to change baby’s name. It is common to do so aswell my our midwife said. Maybe call up and see if you can do the same. Stick to your gut feeling
Think commonsense!
Think my child living with the consequences of my decisions
Think one day she's going to come across a 'Peaches Trixibell' and think "Thank, Christ I didn't have self-indulgent idiots for parents
WELL DONE YOU!!
It’s really nice to have an easy, common name. I never have to spell it really, people don’t forget it, I’ve known a bunch of others with my name, which is pretty fun. I share my name with several celebrities. Also, people never say “you do/don’t look like an Emma”, cause they’re so many, there’s no certain way to look.
It’s really hard naming a baby!!! I named my 5th and last child Jack! I’ve always loved that name! So when they’d bring him to me I’d say his name out loud. He was not a Jack! I named him Tony! He’s a Tony. But if I stuck with Jack! I know I would have eventually loved it.
I’ll be honest, if you feel she doesn’t look like the name you gave her, that’s a decent reason to change it. My sister was named Jennifer for three weeks.
If it really matters to you, you could start calling her by the other name and then change it officially. This must happen in Germany as it does everywhere else.
Logically you know you can still change the name. Really at any point you can introduce a nickname.
No need to be anxious.
Once the panic is relieved, whatever direction you go will be much less stressful.
Best advice. We called mine by her “nickname” for ten years before getting through the process to change it to that legally. Minimal inconveniences along the way. She felt like she had an alias, which was fun in a way; and then she had the choice to keep original or change to what she’d been called. All works out however you do it.
I don’t understand full posts that NEVER say the name!? We’re not asking for full names and addresses here. If you can’t say the name, why are you here?
Of course you can change her name. I mean there is something to be said with the fact that your brain and your body and your hormones and your mind are completely out of whack right now because you just had a baby but also you only named her a week ago you absolutely can change her name!
Being someone with a very common name for my generation, I **hate** it. There are so many varieties of my name that no one even knows how to spell it anymore. I hate having a common name.
You're only a week into recovering from a major medical procedure that has completely changed your life - it's completely normal to feel big and conflicting emotions, particularly about something like your baby's name. Is there a particular reason you chose the name you did? Focusing on those reasons might help you connect with it more. If you're worried about it not being 'special' - it's a special name because it's hers! As for what she looks like, new born babies look different every single day because they grow and change so quickly. In a week or a month, she could look more like 'Emma' than like your second choice name.
Common and classic is good. Much better than the made up yoonique names that are popular nowadays. Don't second guess it.
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Thank you for providing your source. That makes this much easier to discuss. Seeing the source I can see why you misunderstood the chart. It says > Unique or rare names accounted for 86% of all baby names in 2022. > Fewer than five children with the same name. That’s does not mean 86% of of babies had a name shared with 4 or fewer other babies. It means 86% of names had 5 or fewer occurrences. This is a critical difference. To make it clear let’s look at some hypothetical data: |**Name**|**Number of Babies**| :--|:--| |Sarah|98| |James|1| |John|1| In this case 67% of names would have 5 or fewer babies with that name. However only 2% of babies would have a name with 5 or fewer occurrences. I downloaded the data from the linked source an ran the numbers myself in excel. 90% of babies had a name shared with 5 or more other babies. Only 10% had “unique” names.
Hello! Can you relink the source? Looks like a lot of comments got deleted and I looove this kind of stuff
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This isn’t right. Unique names (less than 5 occurrences) accounted for 86% of the 44,545 names used in Canada that year. However, that doesn’t mean that 86% of all newborn Canadians were named those rare names.
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Tomorrow you Call the Office that has authority or knowledge to namechange. Of course it can be changed. And when they answer i Think you Will know what name to choose. When you have the option again it Will be clear
That's good advice. Worst case scenario, they can't change it and at least they'll have peace of mind knowing the choice is out of their hands.
Actually in many countries it‘s not that easy. I‘m from Germany as well and the laws to change your name are quite strict (although they got a little bit easier over the years).
Yes. Just read up on it and in Germany you can't change the name anymore after handing in all the paperwork. Only if you leave the field for the name empty you would have a month to submit it. And "I just don't like it" is not an acceptable reason for German bureaucracy to change a name. "Important reasons" would be if the name was Pink Panty, Adolf Hitler or took a huge toll on the name bearers mental health (which would be hard to prove and not desirable for 2 days old Emma)
Does seem crazy that less than a week of knowing a child and they are supposed to have a name set in stone for the rest of their life. In aus we have I think 2 months to hand in the forms.
To be fair, most women know 9 months ahead of time that they need to start naming a child.
lol yes I know.
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At least she should try.
Just the request can cost thousands of Euros, even if doesn't get approved
That's wild! I wonder what their hang up is abt name changes
The bureaucracy does not like change.
It's a hang up about stupid names, bc the law says it is unfair to name a child something that is knowingly controversial or invites bullying. Which makes sense especially in Germany – names that are banned include a long string of Nazi names...
Why do you randomly capitalise letters in the middle of a sentence?
If they’re German that could be why, but just a guess
Nah, none of these words would be capitalized in German either. We capitalize nouns, but not verbs and adjectives.
Might be just typing by autocorrect. Especially words that usually start at the beginning of a sentence tend to be "saved" as capitalised.
Could be dictated. My posts look a lot like that too because if I pause it ends the sentence, and sometimes adds in extra punctuation
She's a tiny human being and what she looks and seems like now will probably be very different from what she will be 10, 20 or 30 years from now. You're not naming a baby, you're naming a person.
Yes yes! Our second choice name was Cameron. It’s a lovely name. A week after he was born I wondered if we made the right choice. He’s now a young adult and that self-doubt was fleeting. We definitely made the right choice initially.
Flip a coin. Heads, you look into a name change. Tails, you leave it as is. You'll know what you want when the coin is in the air.
Yes! I tell this to my kids all the time. You’ll know when you’re hoping for a certain side to land up.
Well, theoretically, do people ever really “look” like their name?
I think they can, but it's also worth keeping in mind that newborns' appearance chances a LOT and you kind of don't know what they actually look like until they're a few months old, let alone their personality.
Mostly, people grow into their names I think. Emma is classic and doesn't really age. Some of the younique names will age very poorly and I believe the number of requests for a change will be sky-high in 20 It may be quite easy to find a nickname later on, when her personality has shown itself.
I totally agree with this. We had a girl name picked out my entire pregnancy and if the baby was a girl (we didn’t find out gender) we would 100% be naming her that. The boy name we had picked felt so perfect, and so did the girl name but it was a little more out of the box. Sure enough she was a girl and it felt kind of weird saying at first but I love the name. Sometimes when people ask “what’s your baby’s name” it still feels weird saying it but I know she will continue to grow into it and it’s perfect for her.
Keep it. You selected it for a reason.
My sister was named a very uncommon name but her middle name was super common. My parents decided she didn’t look like her first name once bringing her home and she has always gone by her middle name, which to this day suits her so much more. Names can be changed, especially when you’re this early on and baby doesn’t know their name yet.
Give it a few weeks before you panic. You are in the most major hormonal shift a human being can go through right now. Everything is going to feel overwhelming and bananas right now. You could feel very differently a month or two from now. Congrats on the baby!!
Think about why you chose the name in the first place. I'm sure it has loads of great qualities! I've found that once you name a baby, there's a bit of a comedown period where it's hard to stop thinking about all the other options and accept that your choice is final. It doesn't mean you made the wrong choice, it's just your brain doing brain things. Also FWIW I'm named the "Emma" of my generation and I like having a common, classic name. I like that everyone knows it instantly and it never causes any problems. Your child will be a completely unique little person without needing a unique name. Having said all that, if your partner is open to changing it, you can look into whether it's possible. If it's not, then at least you have peace of mind knowing the decision's out of your hands.
Use her name, I found it so hard to feel like I made the right choice but honestly after using it often it felt more like hers. It takes a while but say her name, it helps!
Same !
Hey you know what - it goes away. I had this exact feeling and I felt like I’d announced and had things personalised etc. I wanted to change it some days and felt like social pressure stopped me. Everyone on Reddit said it goes away and now I’m here with my 1 year old saying “yup it goes away”. It’s just a bit of panic. Her name was your first choice, trust your self.
Unfortunately for me it doesn't always go away :(
Luckily I’m back at work and they’ve offered to pay for private sessions for me. I’m due to start next month.
Is there a partner you can talk this through with? On the one hand, you’re recovering from a lot right now and your emotions are going to be high. On the other, sometimes we have a gut feeling, and if you want to change her name, sooner is better (if you can, I don’t know what the process is in Germany). If you don’t have a partner, a trusted family member, friend, or a therapist?
If it is too late to change the name, try not to obsess about it. If you feel more strongly about the second name as more time passes, you could always call her by that name rather than her "legal" name. This is exactly what happened to my aunt (American). She was named after her mom, but grew up with everyone calling her by her middle name because idk maybe it was weird to have two people with mom's name in the house? It's wild to me that Germany does not allow people to change their names without a "good reason."
The bureaucracy in germany is next level, you would not believe how complicated everything can be. Having said that, I chose a name I loved for both my kids and it took me a few weeks to like them or feel like they were right. You just have to use it a lot until it feels right. Even though I always felt weird talking to a baby
I had name regret and ultimately changed my kid’s name. It was like an 7-8 month process from start to finish. I’m in the US. I don’t regret changing his name but I also think he’d have been just fine with his old name. I definitely had some post partum anxiety that led me to fixate on his name and probably made me go from slightly thinking his name didn’t fit (an issue that probably would have gone away the more I used his name and the name association to baby grew stronger) to “omg I screwed up and named him wrong”. I obviously don’t know if anxiety is something you are struggling with and I don’t know if changing your baby’s name is the choice you should make.But what I would do is go ahead and find out what the process is, find out if changing her name is an option. If it is, then you can take the next step in deciding. If it’s not an option, I’d try to focus on building positive association between your baby and her name. Either way, if you feel you may be suffering from post partum anxiety, please know that it’s common, you aren’t alone, and if you feel it may help, please consult your doctor/midwife/medical provider.
Tbh I think it’s normal to feel anxiety about a decision that feels as big as naming a person does. And I think you can’t *really* get an objective idea of how you feel about the name while that anxiety is very present and hanging over your head. I don’t think you should worry much about your baby not looking like an “Emma” (I understand that that’s not the actual name), because as you bond with your baby “Emma” will start to look like her, if that makes sense. Especially since it’s a classic name, it’s not a bad thing that it feels like a blank slate, because she will fill the name with her personality.
Change her name. I regret my sons name and it’s been three years now
It’s Germany. Name change is nearly impossible except for very specific reasons
I regretted my baby’s name at first too. I would look at her and think, why did I name you that instead of another name. But she’s 11 months old now and I can’t imagine calling her anything else. Congratulations and I’m sure it will grow on you. You named her that because you thought it was a nice name, right? Best of luck to you and your bundle🥰
Kids tend to grow into their names even when it doesn’t seem like the right fit at first. Unless your kid is trans, in which case they’re gonna pick their own name and you won’t have to worry about this one sticking.
I had this happen to me too! We were 100% sure of our name, and named baby that when she was born. Then the hormone crash happened and I was convinced she was 2nd choice name. I thought that for a whole month and could barely say her name without crying because I felt like it was all wrong. Now that I'm on the other side I know that we were right in giving our first choice. Give it some time! That being said, name regret can be a symptom of PPD (which I was diagnosed with) so be gentle with yourself and be on the lookout for other signs of that.
I wouldn’t stress too much. She’s so new and your hormones are going bonkers right now. I felt the same about my daughter who IS named Emma lol. We wanted to name her Emma or Aurora. Aurora has more meaning for us since my husband is from a country with the Aurora borealis and we had a special experience at a concert by the artist Aurora. For whatever reason though we liked Emma more and just never got it out of our heads. About a week after she was born I decided we’d made a mistake and should have gone with Aurora. I was so sad I’d given my baby such a common name. She’s now 6.5 months and I’m so glad we chose Emma. It suits her perfectly, everyone we meet says how much they love her name, and I couldn’t imagine her being an Aurora. When they’re newborns it’s really hard to know what they’ll look like and be like even just a week later. I’d recommend giving it some time and if you’re still feeling like this in a few months you could look into changing her name, use her middle name, or even just give her a nickname.
We named our daughter - literally - the #1 most popular girls name in my country - for the last several years. My wife and I talked about it for a long time. I'm a very data driven, logical person - every logical bine in my body said - I don't want that common of a name. But - after many months of consideration - it's the only one that felt right, comfortable, etc. For the first several months of her life, I felt embarrassed saying her name - like I couldnt come up with something less common. And everywhere we go she's usually got another kid with the same name. Buuuut - she's now over a year old, and I can't imagine her as any other name. We made her a cute, unique nick name, and she literally just looks like her name now. I'd say give it time. There's a reason you chose that name. It's easy to spiral and start having regrets. For now - enjoy your time with the little one. If you hate the name, come up with a nick name you love. Over time you will come to love it. 💜
If the name is Anna, I have an 18-year-old named Anna. She loves her name, and despite it being considered common, there are only 3 Annas in her graduating class of 300+ kids.
Keep the name. Now is not the time for big changes, it's the time to settle into your new routine and get to know your little one
My name is so common that I have so many examples of other Katies out there doing amazing things. My name is so common I can tell everyone on here my name is Katie with no worries. Because my name is so common I strive to be the first Katie they think about when people hear my name. When I do something great and people are like who did this? They can say “katydid” which is cute little grasshopper.
My friend renamed 3 of her 5 kids. It was strange for the first 10 minutes of the first kid. Afterwards, eh. If the second name is better, sleep on it for a week. Practice calling her that. Make the change. Congrats on your new baby!
I had these EXACT same feelings just after the birth of my youngest. Highly suggest not making big decisions this soon after delivery. Give it a few months, research what it’ll be like to change it if you just can’t see her being the name you’ve given. My son is 2 now, we didn’t change his name and he’s definitely grown into it and I couldn’t imagine him being something else.
I felt like this about 2 weeks in with my daughter, I kept constantly thinking what would it have been like to be calling you 2nd name and have I chose the right one, now she’s 2 and I couldn’t imagine her having a different name and even the 2nd choice name wouldn’t suit now
My daughter is Emma Francesca (husband is of German descent and I’m of Italian) At first naming your baby is so weird, but soon memories and her face will connect the name to her, a little person you love so much that you’ll love the name
I had major baby name regret probably up until my baby was 3ish months. I felt like I had made a huge mistake with her name but I also felt trapped because everyone already knew her name, and how was I going to explain to friends and family that we changed it? But as she got older and started developing more of a personality, I started feeling more and more like her name was perfect for her. By the time she was 6 months I couldn’t imagine her as anything else. If it truly feels wrong to you, I’m sure you can change it down the road, but I think you should give it a month or two and see how you feel.
1. emotional changes such as sudden regret are common for postpartum episodes. rest well and good luck, congrats you have brought a new life into the world! 2. legal name isn't that important. you can address the kid by their legal name, or a nickname, or whatever. so unfortunate you can't change the papers, what kind of system is that >:( is there at least an option a name change later? 3. maybe when the little one grows up, they won't like their given name anymore. maybe they will, but maybe not, everything happens. after all, we give em names because small babies can't name themselves yet. you're only at the start of your journey, you can call each other whatever, you'll be Mom and they'll be Emma, or Ella, or Eva, and it will be a wonderful time for you both. cheers\~
I was scrolling to find this response. I completely agree - I think there’s a very good chance that this feeling will go away and so I would give it a little time, but even if the regret persists and you truly can’t change the legal name, you can still call your child what you wish. My brother is named after our father and grandfather and has always gone by something that is not his legal first or middle name - at home, school, everywhere. Never caused him any problems at all and there is no one in his life who thinks of him by any other name.
Your hormones are everywhere and you just went through major medical surgery angel girl !! obviously regret will follow you everywhere and if you still feel like your baby doesn’t look like an emma in about 2 weeks then try your absolute hardest to change that to your second choice but just be sure it’s exactly what you want. if it makes you feel a bit better, my name is emma and they didn’t choose that name until 2 weeks after i was born. I’ve grown to love my name and i don’t think any other name would’ve suited me better, so if you don’t think your baby is an emma then she most probably isn’t and if you know you’ll feel more relieved changing her name then again try your hardest !!! congratulations on your baby 🩷🩷🩷
1. Find out if you can change it 2. Based on that, decide what to do. I'd be inclined to trust your feelings on this one. People change their names in adult life, so no big deal to change it at one week old!
My mother marched down to town hall and changed my sister’s name when she was a week old! 1956
I haven't experienced this myself but as others have said, you've went through major life changes and there are lots of hormones involved. It's easy to second-guess yourself in all of it. Is there anything going on with the chaos of newborn craziness that is making you feel like you've lost some control? Just a speculation but maybe that's a possibility why you're doubting and your mind is contemplating the decision.
Weirdly, I’ve read about a lot of Moms having similar stories and obsessing that their kid’s names are wrong. Pamela Druckerman went through this exact thing in France, she felt like she had given each of her twin boys the wrong name and wanted to switch them, but couldn’t. Things got better once her hormones settled. Give yourself another couple of weeks!
Unpopular opinion? A name is a name. And especially with a child so young that it doesn’t even have an impact yet, if you don’t like it, change it. It’s honestly that simple. Granted, it may be a less-simple process to change it where you are at. But as an overall idea. You have a brand new kid that knows nothing about anything and if you feel their given name doesn’t suit them, you have the power to correct that. Period. It just isn’t that complicated.
I felt this way too. She will just become the name. Before you know it, you won’t be able to hear or see “Emma” without thinking of the person you love the most in the world. It won’t matter what was before.
The exact same thing happened to me! We gave my daughter a very pretty and somehow commun name, but she looked too unique to me so we changed her name (for a name I always find of disliked, but my husband lives it and it's rare where we live). I would'nt say I regret the change, but the first name was definitely prettier and flowed better with our last name. That's why it was our first choice!
I always knew my kids name was going to be Elliot, he's 10 now and it fits him, but not every parent will feel the same way. It's completely normal to have this problem, and you should definitely change it before it's too late. Go for it.
My son is named the #1 name in my state for 2023… and #1 overall in the U.S. several years running. Whoops. I honestly did not know when we signed his birth certificate. When I found out.. I was pretty surprised but it didn’t make me love his name any less. The name you chose was your top pick for a reason! As long as you love it, it doesn’t matter!
A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet. I bet it’s a great name. You have plenty of other things to worry about.
after my daughter was born I regretted her name, but only because she was a baby and I wasn’t used to it. I rarely used her name because it seemed too much for a baby. The older she got the more I got used to it and loved it.
I remember looking at my newborn and thinking “what have I done?! How did I convince myself of this name? Why would my husband let this happen?” Step back. Don’t get too in your head — it is hard to spend so much energy on a name and the expectations that come with the name and then put it on a little stranger.
I struggled with regret soooo much with my first born! It seems so silly now because he embodies his name perfectly. Take comfort in the fact that you won’t always feel this way
You are not alone. Once home from the hospital my husband and I had regrets. It just didn't feel right. When she was 4 days old we went to the Bureau of VS... in the US to file the paperwork to legally change her name. We arrived the day her birth certificate was to be officially filed. She handed me an eraser and had me write in her new name. She turns 34 today. Have never regretted it.
We were debating between two names for my daughter for a while. When I was postpartum and hormonal I second guessed our name choice so many times and even told my husband I was worried we chose the wrong one. I think it was just the baby blues talking because I absolutely love her name 3 years later and can’t imagine her being called anything else.
Both my husband and I had regret when we named our youngest. We hadn't talked about until about a month later, but by then we realised we both felt that way. We kept the name and today it is the perfect name for our kid. Sometimes kids need to grow into their name.
I had name regret the first month, and almost exclusively called him baby. I felt like no name was worthy of this perfect being. Over time I got more comfortable, practiced calling him his name and now I can’t imagine any other name. In my experience there are a lot of emotions post partum and sometimes you just have to let the dust settle. For reference, my son has a classic common name.
My head was all over the place when my daughter was born after a traumatic birth, extreme fatigue and extreme hormones. I genuinely forgot her name several times that week and it just didn’t come out of my mouth without a split second delay while I had to think about it. I worried it didn’t suit her but soon after I wasn’t so all over the place, it made total sense and completely suited her!
I had a few weeks of regret and doubt after I picked our daughters name. We had a similar situation and I picked the second option. It wasn't too unique, a lot of people have that name, but it is definitely more of a specific-to-our-country than the alternative. It's a weird thing, seeing a new baby and trying to see the person they are, especially when you chose the thing you call them. I found it easier once they grew up a bit and started showing some personality. Give it some time, try the name out, let it grow on her a bit. If, in a year, you still regret it, well... you can always use a nickname, or middlename.
I went through it as well with my first, but almost ten years in, and the name suits him. It's common and classic and can be shortened. Plus, we picked it because it had special meaning. It will pass.
I have 3 kids and it took me honestly about 6 months to love each of their names and truly feel they fit. I don’t know why but each time the name association has had to grow on me. I love classic names by the way!
It’s nice if you like it but the important thing is you pretend to like it for your daughter’s sake.
I also wish I had given my daughter a different name. Although it wasn’t completely up to me and now she’s 3 months old and suddenly I’ve thought of this other name. Sometimes life chooses for us in a way or the energy of the moment. You can always request a name change if the feeling lingers, and if it’s not possible then it’s in the universe’s hands.
Maybe an unpopular opinion, but from the way you talk about the experience, I would find a way to change the legal name to your second, i.e. Top, choice. It may not be convenient, but It'll be worth it in the long run...and the ordeal will make a good story for your daughter and you. Good luck!
As someone suggested above, if you can call and have it amended, add the new name as a second first name. Then as she grows you can see what works best. Either way, I’m sure you choose the right name and you are worrying unnecessarily. Congratulations!!
Flip a coin to decide what to do and when the coin is in the air, you’ll know what you’ll want to do.
Why post this and not say the name? what do you think is going to happen if you do?
Is it Charlotte? Idk I just was wondering but that’s a beautiful name and so are many of the classics
Sit with it for a while. So early it’s hard to tell what’s hormones and what you’ll get used to. When I still thought about it all the time at 6 weeks, we decided to change it. We called him the new name for four weeks then changed it legally. I have never regretted it or second guessed it.
Give it a few weeks. If you're still feeling like this, start calling her the second choice name and see how it feels. This happens all the time and I'm sure Germany has figured out a way to handle it. My friend's mom changed her name at 6 months old.
Many many people go by their middle name.
I named my son Derek in the ‘80’s not realizing the coming popularity of the name. But it’s the name the universe destined for him. It fits. I like solid, familiar names. Unique names can be challenging. There’s something to be said for a good timeless name. I had a neighbor from England named Derek who was in his 70’s. I would let it stay and see if it sticks
In my country we have 1 year from birth to change baby’s name. It is common to do so aswell my our midwife said. Maybe call up and see if you can do the same. Stick to your gut feeling
It’s Olivia isn’t it
Think commonsense! Think my child living with the consequences of my decisions Think one day she's going to come across a 'Peaches Trixibell' and think "Thank, Christ I didn't have self-indulgent idiots for parents WELL DONE YOU!!
It’s really nice to have an easy, common name. I never have to spell it really, people don’t forget it, I’ve known a bunch of others with my name, which is pretty fun. I share my name with several celebrities. Also, people never say “you do/don’t look like an Emma”, cause they’re so many, there’s no certain way to look.
It’s really hard naming a baby!!! I named my 5th and last child Jack! I’ve always loved that name! So when they’d bring him to me I’d say his name out loud. He was not a Jack! I named him Tony! He’s a Tony. But if I stuck with Jack! I know I would have eventually loved it.
I’ll be honest, if you feel she doesn’t look like the name you gave her, that’s a decent reason to change it. My sister was named Jennifer for three weeks. If it really matters to you, you could start calling her by the other name and then change it officially. This must happen in Germany as it does everywhere else.
Logically you know you can still change the name. Really at any point you can introduce a nickname. No need to be anxious. Once the panic is relieved, whatever direction you go will be much less stressful.
Best advice. We called mine by her “nickname” for ten years before getting through the process to change it to that legally. Minimal inconveniences along the way. She felt like she had an alias, which was fun in a way; and then she had the choice to keep original or change to what she’d been called. All works out however you do it.
Rename her. She’s a week old. She won’t remember.
I don’t understand full posts that NEVER say the name!? We’re not asking for full names and addresses here. If you can’t say the name, why are you here?
If you feel in your gut that this is not the name for this baby then you should go through the trouble of changing it!
Of course you can change her name. I mean there is something to be said with the fact that your brain and your body and your hormones and your mind are completely out of whack right now because you just had a baby but also you only named her a week ago you absolutely can change her name!
I named my daughter Mary. I spelled it, Marrie. She hated it as a kid but loves it now.
Unique names represent the vanity of parents, nothing more.
People choose common names in an attempt to appear more conservative and grounded.
Being someone with a very common name for my generation, I **hate** it. There are so many varieties of my name that no one even knows how to spell it anymore. I hate having a common name.
Why not change it?
I’ll be honest, same reason I haven’t changed my last name. I’m lazy.