Depends on her personality lol. Say you stumbled on the top ten baby names and ope they’re both there. But they are great names and that shouldn’t keep her from naming the baby something she loves.
Mother of a teen Henry here. There are currently 3 Henry’s on his baseball team. When we named him, we only knew of 1 Henry who was in high school at the time. Now every class and team he he’s been on has 1 or more Henry’s. Not a big deal, coach calls them by their last names.
This is actually what happened to me when my mom chose my name!
I was/sort of am very shy and honestly hated having people with the same name because of the anxiety lol
Literally just send her the link to the Social Security top 1000 for 2023 and be like "I thought you might enjoy looking at this as you decide on names! Kinda fun, right?"
Job done if she skims even the very top.
It shocks me someone hasn’t looked who is expecting lol, even had a random name list. Our son’s name is truly not very popular (Malcolm) and I was still curious to look!
I've got a Malcolm too! It's something like number 300 by popularity, but there's still another Malcolm in their kindergarten class, and another one grade up. I'm not sure if it's just a little more popular in this geographical/social area or what. But anyway, my theory is that it'll see a small spike in popularity in the coming years. Time will tell if I'm right.
i'm writing to laugh bc i'm in the NE and my child is named Oliver... Henry was on our list too
i don't think you necessarily need to say anything honestly. she can do her own research and figure it out, it's not exactly a secret if you search 'top 10 boys names' they're both there.
My daughter is Lucy & I can't tell you how many times I've heard "Oh, I have/had a dog named Lucy!" To be fair, my then 10 year old unofficial stepsister was giving me baby name ideas when I was pregnant, despite the fact that we had decided on one already. All the names she gave me sounded like names someone would give their dog, but my partners ears perked up at Lucy (I really liked it too)! Until then, any names I'd suggest, his reply was always "Whatever you want babe.", so I knew Lucy was the name. It definitely suits her better than the other name we planned to use!
I had a dog called Lucy! She was a golden retriever and she qas awesome.
All of the names my fiancee picked for our son were dog names, so I hear that!
Husband and I almost named one of our daughters Lucy too! It was one of the few names we both really loved ❤️ We settled on Emmy and Ebba instead… Ebba was a name I had picked out for my first daughter when I was 19, so I was super happy that my Husband ended up liking it as well! It was the name of one of the little girls in a family where I was their Au Pair. I had loved it then, so I held onto it for 10 years until I had my own daughter… and it was a total coincidence that our second daughter (3rd child) ended up with a name that also started with an ‘E.’ We had both been set on Lucy for our second girl, but I thought it sounded a bit odd when my Husband said it (he speaks English with a heavy accent). So we kept up the name search and found Emmy just completely randomly one day… it just felt right to us both! Very glad we went with it, because it totally fits my Little One. Lucy could have worked for her as well, but I think she is definitely an Emmy 😻❤️😻
You can still reuse them. Your association with the child will rapidly eclipse that of a childhood pet.
A relative of mine effectively named her first child after her bicycle (which had always been given a human name as a sort of fun nickname).
Agree with this! I accidentally gave my daughter the nickname Lolly (because her actual name felt too big for her and she was so little and sweet haha), which was my family dogs name growing up 🤦🏻♀️😂
Those pets were deeply loved and your parents sound like my people. My heart kitty Henry passed two years ago. I gave my youngest son the name Henry as my son’s middle name. It was my way of making sure Henry lives on.
I love my son beyond measure and he knows his middle name is a “family name”. Pets are family. Full stop.
We named my daughter's first cat Isabella. My daughter met another little girl named Isabella.
My daughter (roughly age 5 at the time): you can't be Isabella because that's my cat
Human Isabella (roughly age 4): no I'm Isabella, you can't use my name on your cat
My daughter: well then you can't be Isabella, because she is my cat
The conversation ended with both girls upset.
She *can* do her own research… but will she?
I’m a lawyer and some of my work is complex legal research yes, but a LOT of times I can just Google something and people are like “oh wow thank you so much for finding the answer!” And I’m like I literally Googled your exact question and the answer was the top hit. People are bad at doing the most basic research. I think OP’s sister would be disappointed if she told her sister that she wanted uncommon names, told her sister the whole reason for the names she has picked and realizes she knew all along. Is that fair or rational? Not really, but it doesn’t hurt to say something.
>She *can* do her own research… but will she?
I was just thinking this same thing. She might not do the research; she might trust her intuition on that and be surprised later. Sometimes people don't realize that this question is researchable.
I know a couple who named their daughter Jessica back in the day when everyone started naming their daughter Jessica. Then when Jessica was in kindergarten, the mom said they were totally shocked to learn that there were so many Jessicas around; they picked the name because they thought it was less common and never bothered to check.
I'm starting to think that one axiom of naming is that when you start to like a name, that's because it's in the air and everyone else is getting the same vibes. Just like other trends and fashions. (I wish that would happen to Myrtle, the name of a beloved grandmother, but I guess Myrtle is the exception)
Anyway, OP, I would say something. "I was thinking about your rationale and I had thought it was the case that Oliver/Henry were pretty popular names right now . . . have you seen any stats about this?"
My extended family already has both an Oliver and a Henry who are under 5 years old.
In fairness, Jessica was hugely popular before the internet existed. You could buy a baby name book that might have the stats for a particular year, but there wasn’t the instant check you can do now, and no way to check trends.
When I named my kids I didn’t just search the names I liked, but I did a multi year search for their trajectory, and several were eliminated because they were rising fast enough to be potential top names. I was right on several classic names that have become really hot now. I ended up using a name that had been trending slightly more popular, but then revered trend and started getting slightly less popular in the year or two before the kid was born. I figured it was going to stay safely out of the top 100, and it has.
Maybe the reason Myrtle hasn’t risen in the baby name rankings with Hazel and Mabel is the appearance of ‘Moaning Myrtle’ in the Harry Potter series. The name Violet is a favorite of mine and it’s similar in style to Myrtle and they are both flowers in the lavender color range.
I think you may be right! When I mentioned the name to my kids they immediately brought up Moaning Myrtle. I also think the fact that it rhymes with turtle works against it
Yes! I cannot explain the “names are in the air” phenomenon but it’s completely true. I remember in my college years ‘coming up’ with the name Avery which as far as I know I had only seen for the paper company. Never heard of anyone with that name as far as I can remember… then at some point I checked the stats and son of a gun everyone was naming their kids Avery. I was part of the same wave (not literally, didn’t have kids then but wanted that name if I had) and I have no idea how it happened, but it did.
well no it *could* still hurt OP, depending on the sister's vibe. She could 100% blame OP for speaking up, just as easily as blaming for not speaking up. I have definitely seen that kind of shit go down. so it's like, potentially lose-lose. OP obviously has the choice to do either, i'm just saying they aren't \*obligated\* to say anything at all. it's not their fault if the sister failed to fact check her assumptions. it's a bit different from asking a question to a lawyer instead of trusting the internet, even if the question is basic.
I'm in the South and my friend in the NE has a son named Oliver, and a friend in California has a son named Henry! They are such great names and I'm glad they are making a comeback!
My son is a Henry, I just enjoy the name but my husband latched onto it because it’s his great grandfather’s middle name lol.
It stood out to me first on The Americans. I just love the warmth and kindness of the name.
Which cracks me up because of King Henry VIII…. But Henry is still a warm name for me.
I wanted a good name that would be great for an adult. I can picture a kind old man known to the neighborhood feeding birds in the park called Mr. Henry. I like that energy.
Anyways-that’s why we have a Henry lol.
My child is Henry and he & his wife have Oliver on their list. I’m not saying anything about it being overpopular because they’re not even trying for kids yet and may not have them at all, but internally I cringe. lol But it could be worse. It’s a sweet name, at least!
Why cringe? I don't see why it's so terrible to have a popular name. My kid has a top 10 meme and has only 1 other kid in his grade (100+ kids) with that name. It's not like when my mom was growing up and had 7 Cathys and 6 Bobs in her class.
My 15 year old stepson is Oliver. My husband thought it was fresh back then and the kid has still always had to use his last initial at school. He used to resent the other Olivers but I think he’s over it now. We’re in NNE.
HA! i def get that, I have an extremely common name. like, #1 name for a decade in the 90's sort of common... and I am *always* suspicious of the others with my name lol. we can't all be cool there's too many of us!
My husband's boss had a kid a few years back and named him Henry. At a holiday dinner this past winter, he told us they kind of regret picking it because he has 3 other Henry's in his class.
Sister is about to be sorely disappointed if she wants her kid to be the only one in class and goes with those names.
I would inform her that they're both in the top 10 names for boys for the past year and either of those names will be common in her child's age group. If she's looking for a less popular name, Oliver or Henry is not what she's looking for, even though they're both very nice.
But she said “known but not heard every day”. I have 3 kids. I know zero Henrys and 1 Oliver. Popular top 10 names are no longer the ubiquitous Jennifer. So it’s hard to say “there will be five Olivers in his class forever”. That’s just not true.
Plus, names are weird. I know no Henrys but I happen to know two little boys named August who both go by Auggie. We know several Gideons, etc etc.
There’s definitely not as much overlap in popular names as there were when we were kids!
My friends kid is in kindergarten with 2 kids with the first name Jennings…what an odd name to have a duplicate of!
That's so interesting! That reminds me of how I know three little Zelies, it's an extremely trendy name in the traditional Catholic community and unheard of outside it. 😂 I'm pretty sure it's not even on the top 1000 in the US
One night in 2012, my friend gave birth to her daughter Tesla in a teeny birthing center. The next morning, the woman in the next room gave birth to her daughter Tesla. It got really confusing for the staff, but those families are still friends. There were 6 Teslas born in my state that year.
My friend is a teacher and he has 3 kids in his class named after game of thrones characters.. *3!!!* lol, so yeah media is having a much bigger impact on names these days. Even middle names, it's not just Elizabeth and Marie anymore lmao popular and trendy and common are not all the same thing, especially these days
I agree with you generally but I live in the Northeast like she does and know several little Olivers and Henrys. My state is the least diverse in the entire country and it's reflected in the naming trends. In say, the Greater Boston area (a few hours south of me), you would hear more Irish American, Italian American or Puerto Rican names. However, in my state, the most common ethnicity is English and the Anglo names on the top 10 dominant hugely. The pool of names that people choose from here is much smaller for many reasons.
I live in Maine! The quirky trends I can think of here that I don't hear elsewhere are nature inspired or backwoodsy names like Forrest, Hunter, Autumn, Winter, River, Meadow, Bear, Juniper. 😅 I know more than one person with each of those names.
Have to agree with this. My son is Oliver and he's the only one at his daycare of 100+ kids. Common names aren't nearly as common these days as they used to be.
This! I was just looking up top baby names in my state. The #1 boys name was given to 300 babies last year, but that's out of around 60,000 births, so assuming around 30,000 boys.
I do generally agree with this concept but I live in the northeast (suburb of NYC) and cannot tell you how many little Henry’s and Oliver’s I know of, there are just so many (possibly outnumbered only by Liam’s). These names are classic but also very much ones that you hear every day in my experience.
Yeah, but she also said she has a popular name for her age cohort and wanted a more uncommon one for her kids. I think some people have a hard time wrapping their mind around the idea that the names that were popular when they were growing up are not popular now, and that when their parents were getting ready to have babies they had probably never met an Amanda or Justin - they were just being born then! So you can't go by your intuition about what is "not heard often."
There is absolutely more name diversity now and the 5 kids per class thing is just not likely nowadays. But the top 10 is still pretty common. Like Oliver was 0.8% of boys last year, which is about equivalent to Jason in 1988. I have 2 young kids and personally know 4 Olivers and 3 Henrys.
>I think some people have a hard time wrapping their mind around the idea that the names that were popular when they were growing up are not popular now
Every person I've ever met who has complained about their kid's name turning out to be too popular has said some variation of "But I thought Barbara/Jennifer/Brandon were the trendy names and Jennifer/Brandon/Kaden were fresh and uncommon" (depending on their generation).
True stories just from family members alone:
"I thought Kaden and Mackenzie were so original. Now that he's 7 you meet 20 other Kadens just walking through a parking lot."
"I thought the trendy names were like Barbara and Linda. I'd never heard of anyone named Heather and thought it was so pretty and different."
"I hated always being one of 2 or 3 Jasons in my class so I made sure to name my kids something fresh and rare: Liam and Olivia."
We have a Henry and an August in the fam. Henry goes by Harry. August goes by Michael his middle name, snd I have a niece Olivia. I like the dignified older sounding names after a generation of unisex names.
When I was a kid, I had a friend named Danica. My dad always groaned about how weird that name was, and asked if her parents were foreign, and really never let me hear the end of it. I could never understand what we was on about because she wasn't even the only Danica in our grade.
Nothing. It’s her baby, she’s probably done her research and she will love her baby’s name when he’s here. It would be unfair to plant a seed of doubt when they are both great names.
I actually second this! I just named my daughter Nora knowing it was #28 so in my mind it was common but not super popular. Shortly after she was born my mom told me “so and so said the name is becoming so popular” (what was the point of that comment, who knows?) At the end of the day I love my daughters name and it fits her perfectly but the comment sent me into a momentary spiral even though I’ve never met anyone named Nora yet in my life beside my daughter, however even if she ends up being one of many in her class she’ll also be okay. Anyways all this to say no reason to plant the seed of doubt if she’s loving these names!
Exactly, nothing at all. If Jennifer/Amanda/Sarah/Jessica (just gonna hazard a guess or two 😉)hasn't googled the current top ten, despite her ideals, that's firmly on her!
Disagree. The friend thinks these are names "you don't hear very often." OP doesn't even have to frame her findings in a bad way- "Hey look! I just saw this article that says both Henry and Oliver are top names" as if it's a funny coincidence. The friend can do with that info whatever they wish. Doesn't hurt to mention!
I chose an uncommon name over (what the numbers and my experience suggested was) a much more common name. By the time my child was in school, neither name was common. I still feel wistful about the name I passed over, because it made a better sibset with my other kids's names.
If it’s important to her that she not give her kids common names, I think it’s a kindness to let her know of their popularity. She might really appreciate learning about the ssa baby name data base!
Yes! I’d say something like, “I love those names too! I feel like I’ve heard more of them lately. Did you know the SAA releases a list of the most popular names every year? If you’re super concerned about popularity, I’d be sure to check there to see where they fell last year!”
Then what she does with that info is up to her. You don’t have to burst her bubble.
I think this is the best answer! Mention that they're lovely names, and pass her a resource where she can check the popularity if she wants to. Great solution.
Probably don’t say anything, she could google it if she wanted to. She might be trying to pair together what she said and the fact that she just likes a name. Additionally as a Jennifer there was 43,000 per every million at its height. Oliver is at 8,000. Literally 5x less than Jennifer. Basically popular is not the same as it was.
There are also benefits to a common name so if anything you could just say hmm I heard that name is trending but I only know 1 other.
This is what I think. Also a big factor in a name feeling popular is many variations (like Jackson) or sound alikes (the Aiden, Kayden, Jayden etc). My son had a class full of Lilah, Lily, Liliana, Lillian, Layla girls and I kept getting them confused because it was so many similar L names.
Finally, my son has a name that is now top 20. My daughter has a name just in the top 100. She is the one who happens to have a girl with the same name in her grade. There are zero of my son’s name in his grade so far. It’s just funny that way sometimes.
My son has a name that is fairly common but not trendy. When he was in pre school he was almost the onlyboy who didn’t have a J name . Jason, Jake, Jack, Jazz (!), Jeremy, etc
You know your sister better than we do, you’ll know how she’ll probably react. But in my experience unless they were asking for feedback (and especially if they’ve already fallen in love with the names), then they may interpret your actions as raining on their parade. I’d let it go
If you do bring it up, and this probably goes without saying, I’d do it in a conversation about the baby rather than just reaching out like “Hey, I was thinking about those names you picked…”
It totally depends on the kind of relationship you have. If she isn’t sensitive and you’re close, then I would just say that they’re super cute names, but they are both very popular names.
I am a teacher and this year we had four Oliver’s and two Henry’s in our grade level alone (5 classes). In the whole school I don’t even know how many. They’ve been popular and continue to be at the top of the charts.
However if you are not close then I just wouldn’t say anything. It is weird that she wanted an uncommon name but chose two very popular names, did she not do any research? Literally any website will show those two as being popular.
Even if you do research, sometimes you have to join parent groups or talk to a preschool teacher to know how popular a name is, since it also varies by region and SES.
My kids were all born in Boston, and the name Eleanor was specifically really popular there among my community, along with Maeve - Maeve is a top 10 name in Boston only.
So national lists are helpful, regional ones are, but sometimes you also wouldn't realize how popular a name is unless you learn what your peers are using.
My good friend from law school in another state used the exact same name I did, and we hadn't discussed it at all, and it's not popular
You should look into republican versus democrat names. Republican baby names were like Payton and Mackenzie and Democrat names were like Florence and Eleanor. Super interesting how names can statistically point to how you vote.
Names vary based on your general social milieu, so class, education level, religion, ethnic group, etc all impact it.
Eleanor was specifically popular among educated, upper middle class Boston area parents, and you could point to them being more likely to be democratic, but most people with grad degrees are Democrats at this point.
Or Payton is a famous southern football player's name and was a female character on a show about the South, so I wouldn't be surprised if more Republicans used it due to demographics. Similarly, Mackenzie is a Scottish surname, and since so many southerners have Scottish heritage and they lean more Republican, that makes sense.
I'd heard recently that Republicans are more likely to name girls "Reagan", which makes sense.
I would feign new knowledge! “OMG I just saw this article on the top baby names of 2023 and look, Oliver and Henry are actually super popular now! Isn’t that wild how things are different than when we were kids?”
I gently suggest they check the current popularity of names in their location in recent years, and hope that they can make the decision themselves. But, if they push, I just say I keep up with name trends and they're very common but drop it after that.
My cousin wanted to name their daughter Sofia, which I let them know so many times how overdone it is (their other choices were Cove and Sailor, so it seemed like they wanted something "different"), but they didn't care and they love her name. I do know they were still surprised when they realized she was one of 4 Sophia/Sofia's in daycare, but alas.
Right, I wouldn’t go in and tell her off the cuff that those names in particular are Top 10. But I would lightly suggest the idea of looking at current baby name rankings, if she likes the idea of a not-too-popular name.
My brother and sister in law named their daughter Harper. They are not opposed to common names but I don’t think they had any idea how popular it was. It has been Top 10 for about ten years where they live, but I would never have butt in with that information unsolicited. It’s hard enough to find a name both parents like.
There's a Sofia in my family, and she was born in one of the top Sofia popularity years. It wasn't really a consideration for her parents, though. They just liked the name.
I was glad when I looked up my son's intended name and it landed at something like 200th in popularity. I wanted something "normal" but didn't want him to be one of 3 kids with the same name in every class. It's kind of a gen x name, judging by the name popularity analyzer I just pulled up.
We named our baby a gen x name and despite it being super normal and knowing many 50+ year olds with the name I think we may be the only people in the U.s. to have used that name last year. There's a name zeitgeist so if you like a name, chances are all your peers do to. So if you want unique you have to dig
I would just tell her that you love the names and they are beautiful but that you just wanted to let her what the top 10 name list from the SSA list! If she hadn’t specifically said that they wanted to avoid popular names, then I wouldn’t mention it. But since she did, it seems right to at least inform her so that they can make an educated decision.
Exactly. I’m confused by comments saying not to say anything. If it’s a criteria that’s important to her, why not mention it? It’s not like it’s a critique of the names.
I have a friend that just had a baby and they told me they were naming him Theodore (didn't mention if they had any knowledge of how popular it has become) and I said: "Aw, that's so cute! I know a couple of other baby Theodores, and it's such a great name because some of them are Teddy and some are Theo and there are so many great nicknames!"
So my strategy is to (honestly) say if I know a couple of them (I have a young kid so it's not super-weird for me to know multiple children) and also say something nice about the name.
I'd say exactly that ---"I am not at all trying to rain on your parade, but since I know you care about having a popular name, you should know how popular Oliver and Henry are. They're wonderful names, but they're quite popular right now."
I’ll offer a different perspective-
I’m the mother of a William born in 2015. An exceedingly popular name not only for that age cohort, but for men of all ages in the US.
Will attends a school with 1100+ students and 100+ staff members, myself included. There are no other Williams in the school.
This same school had, two years ago, two unrelated students who frequently interacted and who shared the name Keyliannis.
Just because a name is common nationwide doesn’t mean you’ll encounter a ton of them- and an uncommon name doesn’t mean you never will, either.
Your sister should pick a name that’s meaningful to her and her partner.
Came here to say this. Name popularity is so regional. I know Oliver is extremely popular nationwide so I felt conflicted about using it for my son because my daughter has a more unique name, but my husband and I couldn't agree on anything else.
I literally get compliments on his name and it being different all the time. I'm in an area of the northeast where for boys Italian names are very popular and classic standbys like Michael, Anthony, William etc. I'm also a Labor & Delivery nurse (for 10 years) so I actively hear what people are naming their babies and have only heard Oliver a handful of times!
Excellent point! My son is Joseph, goes by Joe. He’s now 18, and has only had one other Joe in his class, in all these years. You just never know how it’s going to work out!
“Hey, I know it’s important to you to make sure your baby name isn’t common. A friend told me the social security website shows you the top 100 specific to your state. Might be good to see what’s in the top ten where you live.”
Send her the link for the baby name uniqueness analyzer. Someone on this subreddit recommended it a while back and it's a very fun tool. Just say "Hey look at this cool tool I learned about..."
https://datayze.com/name-uniqueness-analyzer
>What do you say to someone in this situation?
Nothing except "Oh, those are nice names", or similar. You needn't comment on their popularity. She's no different than thousands of other parents that think their top 10 baby name is unique and "you don't hear it every day". How do you suppose those names ever got to be top 10 to begin with? Oh sure, not everybody cares about popularity and some know that they're choosing a very popular name. But most people, well, they don't choose the name that's already the name their last three friends used for their babies or there's three of them on their block.
If she's later disappointed in her top 10 choice, well, she's disappointed. That will be for her to deal with at the time. Or maybe she won't really care in the end. But it's not your circus, not your monkeys. If she ever comes to you bemoaning the popularity of little Oliver or Henry's name, you don't have to say you knew it all along. Just say well, obviously it's a good name if so many people like it.
Why not give her the chance to be spared disappointment?
I have met parents who regret choosing such a popular name because they weren't aware of name popularity lists, and would have chosen something else had they known. And now their kid is stuck being one of three Sophias in the same kindergarten class.
Most people have a list of names. If they're completely committed to one name, perhaps it's a grandparent's name, then they're not going to care if there are multiple Henrys.
But if they have other names they like nearly as much, give them a chance to choose something that fits all their criteria.
It is said that statistics rarely change anyone's mind, and this is also true of name statistics. People won't trust them if it conflicts with their experience. What OP's sister doesn't know is her experience with common names for children is about 20 years out of date. What she actually needs to do is go find a local list of children's names (newspaper, kids in a soccer team, even birth announcements on social media) and show that to her sister. You don't need to tell her Henry and Oliver are popular, she needs to realise she doesn't know what names are popular for children.
Like others have said, I’d just kindly let her know that you love the names and will love baby boy regardless but since she stated her reasons for choosing them were became they’re uncommon you wanted to let her know they’re actually on the top 10 list, and have been for a couple years.
I know one Henry and no Olivers. I’d say she’s pretty spot on actually. Popularity of names isn’t the same as it once was (there were like 8 Michael’s in my high school class). I would just nod along.
I’ve got a Henry and his best friend is Oliver lol (both 5)! At their daycare, there are 3 Henrys and 3 Olivers out of about 150 kids. My other two have names in the 100s-200s for popularity but I just love the name Henry so I didn’t care. I’d just casually pull up a baby name list from any of the last 5 years and both will be popped up haha! Both good names though!
Could you suggest looking up the name meanings for fun and steer the search to sites that also list the popularity of the names? You could “discover” the information together.
I would send her a couple resources so she can see how her favorite names are trending. Then send her the SSA name list and maybe a name visualizer. Truth is, if she wants known but currently rare, she should go with something like Craig or Eugene or Gary.
I would tell her they are lovely names, but if she’s still looking, give her your favorite name searching/name info websites.
(I personally like behindthename.com and the US social Security website)
That way you can let her discover on her own how popular they are.
Or… if you think it wouldn’t cause family drama, you can just tell her.
I think with my sister I would just tell her.
Honestly the top names today are 10x less popular than the top names in the 90s. I have a preschooler and he knows 1 Henry, 1 Olivia and no Oliver’s. The only name there is two of is Sam.
“Oh really? I’ve met a lot of of Olivers and Henrys recently.”
For the record my 10 year old has an Oliver and 2 Henrys in his class. And 2 Jacks while we’re at it.
My daughter’s 1st grade class has 2 Jacks, same last initial 🙃. I also know 2 kids named Henry who have the same last name. Luckily the younger started kg when the older started middle school. What a pain it would be to have 2 kids with the exact same name at the same school!
One of my kids has a shortened version of a top 10 name, and when we told my SIL, she was like wow you don't hear that very often! And I thought to myself but you will! I think if she WANTS a less common name then maybe let her know. If not then she'll find out on her own!
My child’s got a top 20 name and no one knows how to pronounce it, we’ve had lods of comments on how rare it is and everyone we’ve met so far says she’s the only one with that name.
She was in hospital for a few weeks and the doctors and nurses were asking loads of questions about how we picked it.
You can see on the social security administration website that those names are 7th and 8th most popular in MA for 2023, you could point her to the website
I've only ever met 2 people in my life with my name. But I meet people everyday that have siblings, aunts, parents with my name. It must be common, but it doesn't feel like it to me.
Frankly I think someone that has convinced themselves of this narrative has only done it so that they can feel some sense of injustice down the line when they realize they did not invent the wheel.
My best friend pulled the same line with her daughter’s name 6 years ago. The name is Harper. She’s one of 3 in her class and my friend is all shocked pikachu face.
For the record, I did tell her it was in the top ten and her response was “well I’ve never met a Harper”
Hmm probably because most Harpers in the world are age 13 or below…it’s almost like people that don’t yet have kids don’t go around befriending random children or something /s
I would say, "I know you are deciding between Oliver and Henry, so I googled those names to see if either had a cooler meaning to help in your decision. But guess what, I saw that Oliver and Henry are both Top 10 names in the US. I'm so shocked that they are that popular because I never heard Oliver and Henry when we were kids, but I guess a lot of other people feel the same way. I still think they are awesome names, but I just thought you would want to know in case popularity bothers you."
Be super positive and you will not rain on her parade, but if I were your sister I would want to be told before hand.
When I first met my at the time boyfriend’s sister in law. She had told me she named her baby Noah because it was a unique name. I said nothing also the baby was a newborn
I probably wouldn't say anything (how could she not know?) unless she asks what you think. If I were to say something, I would try to casually mention that you just remembered that so-and-so AND so-and-so both had little baby Olivers - 'great minds think alike!' and allow her to do with that what you will.
But I swear she must know. I live in NE and it really seems like every little white boy from an affluent family is a nature name (Forrest, River, Corvin) or they're Oliver, Milo, or Elliot. They're nice names and popular for a reason, but you most definitely do hear them every day.
If she's said she wants a less popular name, I'd send her this link here: https://www.ssa.gov/OACT/babynames/index.html Or just a screenshot. Most people, in fact, do not do any research, so I'd never assume she'd decided to use the names in spite of them being super common. Most people think that if a name isn't common in their age group that it's not common in the next generation down either. Every mom of an Ashley I've ever met thought she was naming her daughter something unusual. Even today, when people have the SSA's site at their fingertips, there are people in this sub every single day talking about how some name was unusual 10 or 15 years ago when it was really in the top 50 and that's how they heard of it. So I wouldn't expect her to do anything with the info, but I'd still provide it.
I would mention something like what are you thinking for middle names I really like this one, and send a link to a website that ranks baby names popularity and has Henry and Oliver on it. You aren’t saying anything, but she can read.
Maybe find an IG post or article about names, send it to her with something like “oh Oliver and Henry are both on this list!” and let her read the “top 10” part for herself?
We sent our baby name list to my 13yo cousin for input and she called my names “so basic” - the list was Alfred, Albert, Malcolm, Orson and Walter. They’re all recognizable but not common! Then she came back and suggested Ezra, Asher, Alexander and a few others I don’t remember that are all in the top 20. Perception can be tough if you’re not a name nerd!
it's not always important to be right. sometimes it's okay to let people continue believing their fantasies if it makes them happy 😊
by the time she finds out down the road that it's a common name, she'll love her child enough that it won't matter
I don't give any sort of opinion on names unless I'm asked. I've seen and heard about people turning on you when you dare say something to suggest maybe they shouldn't use X name and I'm just not getting involved. If she was that concerned about popularity, she'd look up the names. If she chooses not to, then that's on her.
I would just very matter-of-factly tell her and show her the Social Security Administration list. Don't say it like "therefore you can't use the name," just say it like "hey FYI, since you mentioned that you want a less common name for the baby, those names are actually pretty popular baby names nowadays." And then, to soften the statement and help her save face, maybe compliment the names or say something about how surprising it is that they're popular now since they weren't popular in your generation.
Honestly?? It's her baby. What do you have to gain by saying anything?? They are both solid names and as long as she loves them, that's all that matters.
I guess it depends on your relationship?
With my sisters, I'd just tell them the facts.
Since the baby isn't born yet and they're aiming for unusual, you won't do them any favors by not telling them. They probably aren't aware of how common these names are because they aren't exposed to kids (yet).
I don’t know what type of relationship you have with your sister, but I would have literally googled it in front of her and shown her the stats.
TBH they are both lovely names. That’s why they are popular.
And even if you pick what seems like an unpopular name initially, does not mean it won’t grow. For my first daughter, we selected a name at the time that was not very popular, but in three years has made it from out of the top 100 to now seeing it in the top 30. Which is a wild jump. You can’t predict these things.
Send her the list of names that the government realses for top 100 names ( for the US it's the social security administration) and tell her it's a good way to get name ideas. If she doesn't read it then that's on her
You got me curious so I looked it up both are top ten names for 2023 in all New England states (with the exception of Oliver in Rhode Island which is 13th most popular) Ultimately both are lovely names and the volume of kids being named that isn’t as intense as popular names in years past.
If you two have a good relationship, I don’t see the harm in gently pointing her in the direction of the SSA data for her state specifically. Might be a deal breaker for her, might not but at least she’ll have all the info
My SIL was shocked! Shocked to find out that her baby’s name is in the top 50. “But I’ve never heard of a [name]!” She has been shocked every time I’ve brought it up — I think she blocks it out. This year it’s in the top 20 if you include variant spellings, and I imagine she will be shocked to learn that too.
It’s easy not to know what baby names are popular unless you seek that information out. Most of us don’t hang out with large swaths of babies, so it won’t come up until our kids are in school.
I’d just kindly but factually tell her they’re top 10 names these days, and she should look at the stats for her state. If she has coworkers or acquaintances with young kids, or who work with young kids, to ask them too. Of course I’d tell her they’re nice names, and maybe look on baby name sites for lists with a similar feel (like Nameberry, etc.).
Depends on her personality lol. Say you stumbled on the top ten baby names and ope they’re both there. But they are great names and that shouldn’t keep her from naming the baby something she loves.
OPE! Hello upper mid-westerner.
i say OPE all the time as a native Californian who has lived in CO for three years now 😂
Ope! Lemme squeeze past ya there from Texas!
i love your PFP!
Ope! New Yorker over here hoping to join your party.
It’s just such a good word
Tell your folks I says Hi ! 👋🏼
Mother of a teen Henry here. There are currently 3 Henry’s on his baseball team. When we named him, we only knew of 1 Henry who was in high school at the time. Now every class and team he he’s been on has 1 or more Henry’s. Not a big deal, coach calls them by their last names.
This is actually what happened to me when my mom chose my name! I was/sort of am very shy and honestly hated having people with the same name because of the anxiety lol
Literally just send her the link to the Social Security top 1000 for 2023 and be like "I thought you might enjoy looking at this as you decide on names! Kinda fun, right?" Job done if she skims even the very top.
It shocks me someone hasn’t looked who is expecting lol, even had a random name list. Our son’s name is truly not very popular (Malcolm) and I was still curious to look!
I've got a Malcolm too! It's something like number 300 by popularity, but there's still another Malcolm in their kindergarten class, and another one grade up. I'm not sure if it's just a little more popular in this geographical/social area or what. But anyway, my theory is that it'll see a small spike in popularity in the coming years. Time will tell if I'm right.
i'm writing to laugh bc i'm in the NE and my child is named Oliver... Henry was on our list too i don't think you necessarily need to say anything honestly. she can do her own research and figure it out, it's not exactly a secret if you search 'top 10 boys names' they're both there.
I had a cat named Oliver as a very young child, and currently a dog named Henry. I’m wishing I hadn’t used these names for pets lol
oh but they're such sweet names for pets too!
My husband, Henry, and I had a cat named Oliver. 🌻
My daughter is Lucy & I can't tell you how many times I've heard "Oh, I have/had a dog named Lucy!" To be fair, my then 10 year old unofficial stepsister was giving me baby name ideas when I was pregnant, despite the fact that we had decided on one already. All the names she gave me sounded like names someone would give their dog, but my partners ears perked up at Lucy (I really liked it too)! Until then, any names I'd suggest, his reply was always "Whatever you want babe.", so I knew Lucy was the name. It definitely suits her better than the other name we planned to use!
I had a dog called Lucy! She was a golden retriever and she qas awesome. All of the names my fiancee picked for our son were dog names, so I hear that!
Husband and I almost named one of our daughters Lucy too! It was one of the few names we both really loved ❤️ We settled on Emmy and Ebba instead… Ebba was a name I had picked out for my first daughter when I was 19, so I was super happy that my Husband ended up liking it as well! It was the name of one of the little girls in a family where I was their Au Pair. I had loved it then, so I held onto it for 10 years until I had my own daughter… and it was a total coincidence that our second daughter (3rd child) ended up with a name that also started with an ‘E.’ We had both been set on Lucy for our second girl, but I thought it sounded a bit odd when my Husband said it (he speaks English with a heavy accent). So we kept up the name search and found Emmy just completely randomly one day… it just felt right to us both! Very glad we went with it, because it totally fits my Little One. Lucy could have worked for her as well, but I think she is definitely an Emmy 😻❤️😻
You can still reuse them. Your association with the child will rapidly eclipse that of a childhood pet. A relative of mine effectively named her first child after her bicycle (which had always been given a human name as a sort of fun nickname).
My Nanna named my mother (her first daughter) after her favourite cat growing up.
My mom's cat growing up was named Bubbles. I kinda wish she named me after her cat. 😂
Hoping the cat had a "human" name and wasn't Madam Fluffykins or the Duchess of Pawsbury ;)
Duchess of Pawsbury would be a pretty rad name though 😎
My daughter's middle name is the same name as my husband's old cat. My daughter is named after the cat but it is also a flower name.
Naming kids after beloved family members is an extremely old tradition; since pets can absolutely be beloved family members, that makes sense to me!
She named her child Huffy Red Line?
Agree with this! I accidentally gave my daughter the nickname Lolly (because her actual name felt too big for her and she was so little and sweet haha), which was my family dogs name growing up 🤦🏻♀️😂
I love when pets have human names... Get over here Kevin! C'mon, let's go Tommy! Kelly, stop doing that! I just giggle every time i hear it
One of our cats is Steve. Everyone laughs the first time they hear it.
Our dog is Steve, haha. He's 14 now and it's still funny to call his name.
Love it, lol "Don't jump on the counter Steve" "Steeeeve, we don't eat plastic" Lmao
My dog is Sammy, or Sam, and my cat is Sophia, or Sophie. Human names for pets are the best.
"Soooophia, stop bullying Sam. He doesn't like it when you do that" lol
It's the other way around, lol.
Siblings always make it seem as if it were the other one's fault. "You didn't see her earlier momma. She started it" lol
my cat’s name is Kevin 😻😻😻 i love him so much. i wanted to name my girl cat Jessica but she already recognized her foster name so we kept it (Sabrina)
Same here. And hi from my cat, Erika
Awww, Erika! Give my psspssspsss-muah, to the little lady
My parents actually named me and my siblings after pets they had and it never bothered us so you could totally still do it!
Those pets were deeply loved and your parents sound like my people. My heart kitty Henry passed two years ago. I gave my youngest son the name Henry as my son’s middle name. It was my way of making sure Henry lives on. I love my son beyond measure and he knows his middle name is a “family name”. Pets are family. Full stop.
Is your name, by chance, Duchess?
I have a dog named Henry too. All my dogs tend to have people names.
We named my daughter's first cat Isabella. My daughter met another little girl named Isabella. My daughter (roughly age 5 at the time): you can't be Isabella because that's my cat Human Isabella (roughly age 4): no I'm Isabella, you can't use my name on your cat My daughter: well then you can't be Isabella, because she is my cat The conversation ended with both girls upset.
My neighbor had a dog named Henry. Mom was a school teacher so I asked her which Henry he was named after, and she said “all of them”
She *can* do her own research… but will she? I’m a lawyer and some of my work is complex legal research yes, but a LOT of times I can just Google something and people are like “oh wow thank you so much for finding the answer!” And I’m like I literally Googled your exact question and the answer was the top hit. People are bad at doing the most basic research. I think OP’s sister would be disappointed if she told her sister that she wanted uncommon names, told her sister the whole reason for the names she has picked and realizes she knew all along. Is that fair or rational? Not really, but it doesn’t hurt to say something.
>She *can* do her own research… but will she? I was just thinking this same thing. She might not do the research; she might trust her intuition on that and be surprised later. Sometimes people don't realize that this question is researchable. I know a couple who named their daughter Jessica back in the day when everyone started naming their daughter Jessica. Then when Jessica was in kindergarten, the mom said they were totally shocked to learn that there were so many Jessicas around; they picked the name because they thought it was less common and never bothered to check. I'm starting to think that one axiom of naming is that when you start to like a name, that's because it's in the air and everyone else is getting the same vibes. Just like other trends and fashions. (I wish that would happen to Myrtle, the name of a beloved grandmother, but I guess Myrtle is the exception) Anyway, OP, I would say something. "I was thinking about your rationale and I had thought it was the case that Oliver/Henry were pretty popular names right now . . . have you seen any stats about this?" My extended family already has both an Oliver and a Henry who are under 5 years old.
In fairness, Jessica was hugely popular before the internet existed. You could buy a baby name book that might have the stats for a particular year, but there wasn’t the instant check you can do now, and no way to check trends. When I named my kids I didn’t just search the names I liked, but I did a multi year search for their trajectory, and several were eliminated because they were rising fast enough to be potential top names. I was right on several classic names that have become really hot now. I ended up using a name that had been trending slightly more popular, but then revered trend and started getting slightly less popular in the year or two before the kid was born. I figured it was going to stay safely out of the top 100, and it has.
Maybe the reason Myrtle hasn’t risen in the baby name rankings with Hazel and Mabel is the appearance of ‘Moaning Myrtle’ in the Harry Potter series. The name Violet is a favorite of mine and it’s similar in style to Myrtle and they are both flowers in the lavender color range.
I think you may be right! When I mentioned the name to my kids they immediately brought up Moaning Myrtle. I also think the fact that it rhymes with turtle works against it
For me it’s def the turtle rhyme.
On the other hand, Myrtle Snow. The one, the only, the fabulous.
Yes! I cannot explain the “names are in the air” phenomenon but it’s completely true. I remember in my college years ‘coming up’ with the name Avery which as far as I know I had only seen for the paper company. Never heard of anyone with that name as far as I can remember… then at some point I checked the stats and son of a gun everyone was naming their kids Avery. I was part of the same wave (not literally, didn’t have kids then but wanted that name if I had) and I have no idea how it happened, but it did.
well no it *could* still hurt OP, depending on the sister's vibe. She could 100% blame OP for speaking up, just as easily as blaming for not speaking up. I have definitely seen that kind of shit go down. so it's like, potentially lose-lose. OP obviously has the choice to do either, i'm just saying they aren't \*obligated\* to say anything at all. it's not their fault if the sister failed to fact check her assumptions. it's a bit different from asking a question to a lawyer instead of trusting the internet, even if the question is basic.
I'm in the South and my friend in the NE has a son named Oliver, and a friend in California has a son named Henry! They are such great names and I'm glad they are making a comeback!
My son is a Henry, I just enjoy the name but my husband latched onto it because it’s his great grandfather’s middle name lol. It stood out to me first on The Americans. I just love the warmth and kindness of the name. Which cracks me up because of King Henry VIII…. But Henry is still a warm name for me. I wanted a good name that would be great for an adult. I can picture a kind old man known to the neighborhood feeding birds in the park called Mr. Henry. I like that energy. Anyways-that’s why we have a Henry lol.
The Americans!!! Yes to Henry hell no to Paige! ( and that's my sisters middle name)
There has never ever been a pleasant Paige.
I agree!
I also come from the affluent NE as well and there are many, many Olivers and Henrys here.
My child is Henry and he & his wife have Oliver on their list. I’m not saying anything about it being overpopular because they’re not even trying for kids yet and may not have them at all, but internally I cringe. lol But it could be worse. It’s a sweet name, at least!
Why cringe? I don't see why it's so terrible to have a popular name. My kid has a top 10 meme and has only 1 other kid in his grade (100+ kids) with that name. It's not like when my mom was growing up and had 7 Cathys and 6 Bobs in her class.
My 15 year old stepson is Oliver. My husband thought it was fresh back then and the kid has still always had to use his last initial at school. He used to resent the other Olivers but I think he’s over it now. We’re in NNE.
HA! i def get that, I have an extremely common name. like, #1 name for a decade in the 90's sort of common... and I am *always* suspicious of the others with my name lol. we can't all be cool there's too many of us!
My husband's boss had a kid a few years back and named him Henry. At a holiday dinner this past winter, he told us they kind of regret picking it because he has 3 other Henry's in his class. Sister is about to be sorely disappointed if she wants her kid to be the only one in class and goes with those names.
I would inform her that they're both in the top 10 names for boys for the past year and either of those names will be common in her child's age group. If she's looking for a less popular name, Oliver or Henry is not what she's looking for, even though they're both very nice.
But she said “known but not heard every day”. I have 3 kids. I know zero Henrys and 1 Oliver. Popular top 10 names are no longer the ubiquitous Jennifer. So it’s hard to say “there will be five Olivers in his class forever”. That’s just not true. Plus, names are weird. I know no Henrys but I happen to know two little boys named August who both go by Auggie. We know several Gideons, etc etc.
There’s definitely not as much overlap in popular names as there were when we were kids! My friends kid is in kindergarten with 2 kids with the first name Jennings…what an odd name to have a duplicate of!
There were two Artemises in my daughter's ballet class. Bet their parents never thought that would happen.
There are two Luellas in one class at my kids’ school
That's so interesting! That reminds me of how I know three little Zelies, it's an extremely trendy name in the traditional Catholic community and unheard of outside it. 😂 I'm pretty sure it's not even on the top 1000 in the US
A lot of Catholics I know are going for uncommon saint names now.
One night in 2012, my friend gave birth to her daughter Tesla in a teeny birthing center. The next morning, the woman in the next room gave birth to her daughter Tesla. It got really confusing for the staff, but those families are still friends. There were 6 Teslas born in my state that year.
My friend is a teacher and he has 3 kids in his class named after game of thrones characters.. *3!!!* lol, so yeah media is having a much bigger impact on names these days. Even middle names, it's not just Elizabeth and Marie anymore lmao popular and trendy and common are not all the same thing, especially these days
Spill: three different characters? Or 3 versions of Khaleesi? Dying of curiosity!
I agree with you generally but I live in the Northeast like she does and know several little Olivers and Henrys. My state is the least diverse in the entire country and it's reflected in the naming trends. In say, the Greater Boston area (a few hours south of me), you would hear more Irish American, Italian American or Puerto Rican names. However, in my state, the most common ethnicity is English and the Anglo names on the top 10 dominant hugely. The pool of names that people choose from here is much smaller for many reasons.
That’s such a good point. If OP lives in a more diverse or multicultural area, the chances of those names being insanely common goes down
I live in the northeast too, hahah. I think it just really depends! (Also north of Boston in NH)
I live in Maine! The quirky trends I can think of here that I don't hear elsewhere are nature inspired or backwoodsy names like Forrest, Hunter, Autumn, Winter, River, Meadow, Bear, Juniper. 😅 I know more than one person with each of those names.
Have to agree with this. My son is Oliver and he's the only one at his daycare of 100+ kids. Common names aren't nearly as common these days as they used to be.
This! I was just looking up top baby names in my state. The #1 boys name was given to 300 babies last year, but that's out of around 60,000 births, so assuming around 30,000 boys.
I do generally agree with this concept but I live in the northeast (suburb of NYC) and cannot tell you how many little Henry’s and Oliver’s I know of, there are just so many (possibly outnumbered only by Liam’s). These names are classic but also very much ones that you hear every day in my experience.
Yeah, but she also said she has a popular name for her age cohort and wanted a more uncommon one for her kids. I think some people have a hard time wrapping their mind around the idea that the names that were popular when they were growing up are not popular now, and that when their parents were getting ready to have babies they had probably never met an Amanda or Justin - they were just being born then! So you can't go by your intuition about what is "not heard often." There is absolutely more name diversity now and the 5 kids per class thing is just not likely nowadays. But the top 10 is still pretty common. Like Oliver was 0.8% of boys last year, which is about equivalent to Jason in 1988. I have 2 young kids and personally know 4 Olivers and 3 Henrys.
>I think some people have a hard time wrapping their mind around the idea that the names that were popular when they were growing up are not popular now Every person I've ever met who has complained about their kid's name turning out to be too popular has said some variation of "But I thought Barbara/Jennifer/Brandon were the trendy names and Jennifer/Brandon/Kaden were fresh and uncommon" (depending on their generation). True stories just from family members alone: "I thought Kaden and Mackenzie were so original. Now that he's 7 you meet 20 other Kadens just walking through a parking lot." "I thought the trendy names were like Barbara and Linda. I'd never heard of anyone named Heather and thought it was so pretty and different." "I hated always being one of 2 or 3 Jasons in my class so I made sure to name my kids something fresh and rare: Liam and Olivia."
This! My youngest has a Top 5 name and is the only one in kindergarden with that name out of 50 kids.
My son is a William and he’s one of two in all of the second grade which consists of 6 classrooms of 15+ kids each
I'm very impressed that there are classrooms with only 15 students!
I’m sure it also depends on area. I know sooo many kids named Henry, Theo, Luca etc. I do also know 3 kids named August.
We have a Henry and an August in the fam. Henry goes by Harry. August goes by Michael his middle name, snd I have a niece Olivia. I like the dignified older sounding names after a generation of unisex names.
Truly it depends on where you are! At my work (childcare) we have 3 Oliver’s and 2 Olivia’s. No henry though
When I was a kid, I had a friend named Danica. My dad always groaned about how weird that name was, and asked if her parents were foreign, and really never let me hear the end of it. I could never understand what we was on about because she wasn't even the only Danica in our grade.
August and Gideon are both on my list, so this cracked me up.
I love the name August, I hope you get to use it.
Nothing. It’s her baby, she’s probably done her research and she will love her baby’s name when he’s here. It would be unfair to plant a seed of doubt when they are both great names.
Based on her comment though… has she?
“Well I’m on the namenerds sub so I feel like it’s my place to educate and inform you *normies* about those names and how popular they really are”
If your spoken criterion for choosing a name is its uncommonness would you not want to know that it’s common?
Nah. I’d want someone to do the same for me.
I actually second this! I just named my daughter Nora knowing it was #28 so in my mind it was common but not super popular. Shortly after she was born my mom told me “so and so said the name is becoming so popular” (what was the point of that comment, who knows?) At the end of the day I love my daughters name and it fits her perfectly but the comment sent me into a momentary spiral even though I’ve never met anyone named Nora yet in my life beside my daughter, however even if she ends up being one of many in her class she’ll also be okay. Anyways all this to say no reason to plant the seed of doubt if she’s loving these names!
She hasn't done her research if she thinks these names are "less popular". If it matters to her, OP should tell her.
Exactly, nothing at all. If Jennifer/Amanda/Sarah/Jessica (just gonna hazard a guess or two 😉)hasn't googled the current top ten, despite her ideals, that's firmly on her!
Disagree. The friend thinks these are names "you don't hear very often." OP doesn't even have to frame her findings in a bad way- "Hey look! I just saw this article that says both Henry and Oliver are top names" as if it's a funny coincidence. The friend can do with that info whatever they wish. Doesn't hurt to mention!
I chose an uncommon name over (what the numbers and my experience suggested was) a much more common name. By the time my child was in school, neither name was common. I still feel wistful about the name I passed over, because it made a better sibset with my other kids's names.
If it’s important to her that she not give her kids common names, I think it’s a kindness to let her know of their popularity. She might really appreciate learning about the ssa baby name data base!
Yes! I’d say something like, “I love those names too! I feel like I’ve heard more of them lately. Did you know the SAA releases a list of the most popular names every year? If you’re super concerned about popularity, I’d be sure to check there to see where they fell last year!” Then what she does with that info is up to her. You don’t have to burst her bubble.
Exactly.
I think this is the best answer! Mention that they're lovely names, and pass her a resource where she can check the popularity if she wants to. Great solution.
Probably don’t say anything, she could google it if she wanted to. She might be trying to pair together what she said and the fact that she just likes a name. Additionally as a Jennifer there was 43,000 per every million at its height. Oliver is at 8,000. Literally 5x less than Jennifer. Basically popular is not the same as it was. There are also benefits to a common name so if anything you could just say hmm I heard that name is trending but I only know 1 other.
that’s a good point that even the most popular names now aren’t as common as popular names in the past!
This is what I think. Also a big factor in a name feeling popular is many variations (like Jackson) or sound alikes (the Aiden, Kayden, Jayden etc). My son had a class full of Lilah, Lily, Liliana, Lillian, Layla girls and I kept getting them confused because it was so many similar L names. Finally, my son has a name that is now top 20. My daughter has a name just in the top 100. She is the one who happens to have a girl with the same name in her grade. There are zero of my son’s name in his grade so far. It’s just funny that way sometimes.
My son has a name that is fairly common but not trendy. When he was in pre school he was almost the onlyboy who didn’t have a J name . Jason, Jake, Jack, Jazz (!), Jeremy, etc
You know your sister better than we do, you’ll know how she’ll probably react. But in my experience unless they were asking for feedback (and especially if they’ve already fallen in love with the names), then they may interpret your actions as raining on their parade. I’d let it go If you do bring it up, and this probably goes without saying, I’d do it in a conversation about the baby rather than just reaching out like “Hey, I was thinking about those names you picked…”
It totally depends on the kind of relationship you have. If she isn’t sensitive and you’re close, then I would just say that they’re super cute names, but they are both very popular names. I am a teacher and this year we had four Oliver’s and two Henry’s in our grade level alone (5 classes). In the whole school I don’t even know how many. They’ve been popular and continue to be at the top of the charts. However if you are not close then I just wouldn’t say anything. It is weird that she wanted an uncommon name but chose two very popular names, did she not do any research? Literally any website will show those two as being popular.
Even if you do research, sometimes you have to join parent groups or talk to a preschool teacher to know how popular a name is, since it also varies by region and SES. My kids were all born in Boston, and the name Eleanor was specifically really popular there among my community, along with Maeve - Maeve is a top 10 name in Boston only. So national lists are helpful, regional ones are, but sometimes you also wouldn't realize how popular a name is unless you learn what your peers are using. My good friend from law school in another state used the exact same name I did, and we hadn't discussed it at all, and it's not popular
You should look into republican versus democrat names. Republican baby names were like Payton and Mackenzie and Democrat names were like Florence and Eleanor. Super interesting how names can statistically point to how you vote.
Names vary based on your general social milieu, so class, education level, religion, ethnic group, etc all impact it. Eleanor was specifically popular among educated, upper middle class Boston area parents, and you could point to them being more likely to be democratic, but most people with grad degrees are Democrats at this point. Or Payton is a famous southern football player's name and was a female character on a show about the South, so I wouldn't be surprised if more Republicans used it due to demographics. Similarly, Mackenzie is a Scottish surname, and since so many southerners have Scottish heritage and they lean more Republican, that makes sense. I'd heard recently that Republicans are more likely to name girls "Reagan", which makes sense.
I would feign new knowledge! “OMG I just saw this article on the top baby names of 2023 and look, Oliver and Henry are actually super popular now! Isn’t that wild how things are different than when we were kids?”
"They're actually in the top ten." But then I'm Dutch.
😂😂😂
I gently suggest they check the current popularity of names in their location in recent years, and hope that they can make the decision themselves. But, if they push, I just say I keep up with name trends and they're very common but drop it after that. My cousin wanted to name their daughter Sofia, which I let them know so many times how overdone it is (their other choices were Cove and Sailor, so it seemed like they wanted something "different"), but they didn't care and they love her name. I do know they were still surprised when they realized she was one of 4 Sophia/Sofia's in daycare, but alas.
Right, I wouldn’t go in and tell her off the cuff that those names in particular are Top 10. But I would lightly suggest the idea of looking at current baby name rankings, if she likes the idea of a not-too-popular name. My brother and sister in law named their daughter Harper. They are not opposed to common names but I don’t think they had any idea how popular it was. It has been Top 10 for about ten years where they live, but I would never have butt in with that information unsolicited. It’s hard enough to find a name both parents like.
I so hope they didn't choose Cove. It's awful. In the UK it's dated slang for a slightly dodgy fellow.
I love Cove! The UK meaning kills it though. Ugh
There's a Sofia in my family, and she was born in one of the top Sofia popularity years. It wasn't really a consideration for her parents, though. They just liked the name. I was glad when I looked up my son's intended name and it landed at something like 200th in popularity. I wanted something "normal" but didn't want him to be one of 3 kids with the same name in every class. It's kind of a gen x name, judging by the name popularity analyzer I just pulled up.
We named our baby a gen x name and despite it being super normal and knowing many 50+ year olds with the name I think we may be the only people in the U.s. to have used that name last year. There's a name zeitgeist so if you like a name, chances are all your peers do to. So if you want unique you have to dig
I would just tell her that you love the names and they are beautiful but that you just wanted to let her what the top 10 name list from the SSA list! If she hadn’t specifically said that they wanted to avoid popular names, then I wouldn’t mention it. But since she did, it seems right to at least inform her so that they can make an educated decision.
Exactly. I’m confused by comments saying not to say anything. If it’s a criteria that’s important to her, why not mention it? It’s not like it’s a critique of the names.
I have a friend that just had a baby and they told me they were naming him Theodore (didn't mention if they had any knowledge of how popular it has become) and I said: "Aw, that's so cute! I know a couple of other baby Theodores, and it's such a great name because some of them are Teddy and some are Theo and there are so many great nicknames!" So my strategy is to (honestly) say if I know a couple of them (I have a young kid so it's not super-weird for me to know multiple children) and also say something nice about the name.
I'd say exactly that ---"I am not at all trying to rain on your parade, but since I know you care about having a popular name, you should know how popular Oliver and Henry are. They're wonderful names, but they're quite popular right now."
You have to just tell her. Why hesitate? It's your sister.
I’ll offer a different perspective- I’m the mother of a William born in 2015. An exceedingly popular name not only for that age cohort, but for men of all ages in the US. Will attends a school with 1100+ students and 100+ staff members, myself included. There are no other Williams in the school. This same school had, two years ago, two unrelated students who frequently interacted and who shared the name Keyliannis. Just because a name is common nationwide doesn’t mean you’ll encounter a ton of them- and an uncommon name doesn’t mean you never will, either. Your sister should pick a name that’s meaningful to her and her partner.
Came here to say this. Name popularity is so regional. I know Oliver is extremely popular nationwide so I felt conflicted about using it for my son because my daughter has a more unique name, but my husband and I couldn't agree on anything else. I literally get compliments on his name and it being different all the time. I'm in an area of the northeast where for boys Italian names are very popular and classic standbys like Michael, Anthony, William etc. I'm also a Labor & Delivery nurse (for 10 years) so I actively hear what people are naming their babies and have only heard Oliver a handful of times!
Excellent point! My son is Joseph, goes by Joe. He’s now 18, and has only had one other Joe in his class, in all these years. You just never know how it’s going to work out!
“Hey, I know it’s important to you to make sure your baby name isn’t common. A friend told me the social security website shows you the top 100 specific to your state. Might be good to see what’s in the top ten where you live.”
Please tell her to name her son Oliver Henry and then he can be O Henry.
Send her the link for the baby name uniqueness analyzer. Someone on this subreddit recommended it a while back and it's a very fun tool. Just say "Hey look at this cool tool I learned about..." https://datayze.com/name-uniqueness-analyzer
Don’t say anything, what’s the point?
>What do you say to someone in this situation? Nothing except "Oh, those are nice names", or similar. You needn't comment on their popularity. She's no different than thousands of other parents that think their top 10 baby name is unique and "you don't hear it every day". How do you suppose those names ever got to be top 10 to begin with? Oh sure, not everybody cares about popularity and some know that they're choosing a very popular name. But most people, well, they don't choose the name that's already the name their last three friends used for their babies or there's three of them on their block. If she's later disappointed in her top 10 choice, well, she's disappointed. That will be for her to deal with at the time. Or maybe she won't really care in the end. But it's not your circus, not your monkeys. If she ever comes to you bemoaning the popularity of little Oliver or Henry's name, you don't have to say you knew it all along. Just say well, obviously it's a good name if so many people like it.
Why not give her the chance to be spared disappointment? I have met parents who regret choosing such a popular name because they weren't aware of name popularity lists, and would have chosen something else had they known. And now their kid is stuck being one of three Sophias in the same kindergarten class. Most people have a list of names. If they're completely committed to one name, perhaps it's a grandparent's name, then they're not going to care if there are multiple Henrys. But if they have other names they like nearly as much, give them a chance to choose something that fits all their criteria.
I wouldn’t say anything. I’ve pointed it out to people and they just swear what I’m saying can’t possibly be true.
It is said that statistics rarely change anyone's mind, and this is also true of name statistics. People won't trust them if it conflicts with their experience. What OP's sister doesn't know is her experience with common names for children is about 20 years out of date. What she actually needs to do is go find a local list of children's names (newspaper, kids in a soccer team, even birth announcements on social media) and show that to her sister. You don't need to tell her Henry and Oliver are popular, she needs to realise she doesn't know what names are popular for children.
Yeah then they get angry when you show proof.
Like others have said, I’d just kindly let her know that you love the names and will love baby boy regardless but since she stated her reasons for choosing them were became they’re uncommon you wanted to let her know they’re actually on the top 10 list, and have been for a couple years.
I wouldn’t say anything, it’s none of my business
I know one Henry and no Olivers. I’d say she’s pretty spot on actually. Popularity of names isn’t the same as it once was (there were like 8 Michael’s in my high school class). I would just nod along.
I’ve got a Henry and his best friend is Oliver lol (both 5)! At their daycare, there are 3 Henrys and 3 Olivers out of about 150 kids. My other two have names in the 100s-200s for popularity but I just love the name Henry so I didn’t care. I’d just casually pull up a baby name list from any of the last 5 years and both will be popped up haha! Both good names though!
Leave her be. They are fine names.
Could you suggest looking up the name meanings for fun and steer the search to sites that also list the popularity of the names? You could “discover” the information together.
I would send her a couple resources so she can see how her favorite names are trending. Then send her the SSA name list and maybe a name visualizer. Truth is, if she wants known but currently rare, she should go with something like Craig or Eugene or Gary.
I would tell her they are lovely names, but if she’s still looking, give her your favorite name searching/name info websites. (I personally like behindthename.com and the US social Security website) That way you can let her discover on her own how popular they are. Or… if you think it wouldn’t cause family drama, you can just tell her. I think with my sister I would just tell her.
Honestly the top names today are 10x less popular than the top names in the 90s. I have a preschooler and he knows 1 Henry, 1 Olivia and no Oliver’s. The only name there is two of is Sam.
I tried to tell my sister not to name her baby Hannah in the early 2000’s when it was at the top of the lists. It was not well received.
“Oh really? I’ve met a lot of of Olivers and Henrys recently.” For the record my 10 year old has an Oliver and 2 Henrys in his class. And 2 Jacks while we’re at it.
My daughter’s 1st grade class has 2 Jacks, same last initial 🙃. I also know 2 kids named Henry who have the same last name. Luckily the younger started kg when the older started middle school. What a pain it would be to have 2 kids with the exact same name at the same school!
One of my kids has a shortened version of a top 10 name, and when we told my SIL, she was like wow you don't hear that very often! And I thought to myself but you will! I think if she WANTS a less common name then maybe let her know. If not then she'll find out on her own!
My child’s got a top 20 name and no one knows how to pronounce it, we’ve had lods of comments on how rare it is and everyone we’ve met so far says she’s the only one with that name. She was in hospital for a few weeks and the doctors and nurses were asking loads of questions about how we picked it.
Nothing
I was a childcare worker a few years back and had both in my babies room, plus one in each year level about that 😂
You can see on the social security administration website that those names are 7th and 8th most popular in MA for 2023, you could point her to the website
Maybe ask her if she likes looking up the statistics on names?
I'd gently show her the Social Security website for baby names. Those are actual recorded birth names of people, not mere opinions.
I've only ever met 2 people in my life with my name. But I meet people everyday that have siblings, aunts, parents with my name. It must be common, but it doesn't feel like it to me.
Frankly I think someone that has convinced themselves of this narrative has only done it so that they can feel some sense of injustice down the line when they realize they did not invent the wheel. My best friend pulled the same line with her daughter’s name 6 years ago. The name is Harper. She’s one of 3 in her class and my friend is all shocked pikachu face. For the record, I did tell her it was in the top ten and her response was “well I’ve never met a Harper” Hmm probably because most Harpers in the world are age 13 or below…it’s almost like people that don’t yet have kids don’t go around befriending random children or something /s
I would say, "I know you are deciding between Oliver and Henry, so I googled those names to see if either had a cooler meaning to help in your decision. But guess what, I saw that Oliver and Henry are both Top 10 names in the US. I'm so shocked that they are that popular because I never heard Oliver and Henry when we were kids, but I guess a lot of other people feel the same way. I still think they are awesome names, but I just thought you would want to know in case popularity bothers you." Be super positive and you will not rain on her parade, but if I were your sister I would want to be told before hand.
Not sure it's your place to say anything. I recommend you stay out of it.
When I first met my at the time boyfriend’s sister in law. She had told me she named her baby Noah because it was a unique name. I said nothing also the baby was a newborn
I probably wouldn't say anything (how could she not know?) unless she asks what you think. If I were to say something, I would try to casually mention that you just remembered that so-and-so AND so-and-so both had little baby Olivers - 'great minds think alike!' and allow her to do with that what you will. But I swear she must know. I live in NE and it really seems like every little white boy from an affluent family is a nature name (Forrest, River, Corvin) or they're Oliver, Milo, or Elliot. They're nice names and popular for a reason, but you most definitely do hear them every day.
“Those are great names! They’re both top 10 names in the US of course but classic!”
You don't say anything bc it is not your baby.
I think that you should gently point out that both names are very popular.
Our son is 11 and he’s not the only Henry in his grade. It was getting popular when he was born 🤣🤣🤣
If she's said she wants a less popular name, I'd send her this link here: https://www.ssa.gov/OACT/babynames/index.html Or just a screenshot. Most people, in fact, do not do any research, so I'd never assume she'd decided to use the names in spite of them being super common. Most people think that if a name isn't common in their age group that it's not common in the next generation down either. Every mom of an Ashley I've ever met thought she was naming her daughter something unusual. Even today, when people have the SSA's site at their fingertips, there are people in this sub every single day talking about how some name was unusual 10 or 15 years ago when it was really in the top 50 and that's how they heard of it. So I wouldn't expect her to do anything with the info, but I'd still provide it.
I would mention something like what are you thinking for middle names I really like this one, and send a link to a website that ranks baby names popularity and has Henry and Oliver on it. You aren’t saying anything, but she can read.
Maybe find an IG post or article about names, send it to her with something like “oh Oliver and Henry are both on this list!” and let her read the “top 10” part for herself? We sent our baby name list to my 13yo cousin for input and she called my names “so basic” - the list was Alfred, Albert, Malcolm, Orson and Walter. They’re all recognizable but not common! Then she came back and suggested Ezra, Asher, Alexander and a few others I don’t remember that are all in the top 20. Perception can be tough if you’re not a name nerd!
it's not always important to be right. sometimes it's okay to let people continue believing their fantasies if it makes them happy 😊 by the time she finds out down the road that it's a common name, she'll love her child enough that it won't matter
Let people learn for themselves imo..don’t get anything on you
Nothing. Other than, awh yeah those are sweet names!
I don't give any sort of opinion on names unless I'm asked. I've seen and heard about people turning on you when you dare say something to suggest maybe they shouldn't use X name and I'm just not getting involved. If she was that concerned about popularity, she'd look up the names. If she chooses not to, then that's on her.
I would literally say “those are top 10 names according to SSA, but I really like them, great choices”
Nothing, I just allow them to like the names they like
You don’t have to say anything…?
I would just very matter-of-factly tell her and show her the Social Security Administration list. Don't say it like "therefore you can't use the name," just say it like "hey FYI, since you mentioned that you want a less common name for the baby, those names are actually pretty popular baby names nowadays." And then, to soften the statement and help her save face, maybe compliment the names or say something about how surprising it is that they're popular now since they weren't popular in your generation.
Popular names are fine. I have one and have never been troubled by it.
Honestly?? It's her baby. What do you have to gain by saying anything?? They are both solid names and as long as she loves them, that's all that matters.
I guess it depends on your relationship? With my sisters, I'd just tell them the facts. Since the baby isn't born yet and they're aiming for unusual, you won't do them any favors by not telling them. They probably aren't aware of how common these names are because they aren't exposed to kids (yet).
I don’t know what type of relationship you have with your sister, but I would have literally googled it in front of her and shown her the stats. TBH they are both lovely names. That’s why they are popular. And even if you pick what seems like an unpopular name initially, does not mean it won’t grow. For my first daughter, we selected a name at the time that was not very popular, but in three years has made it from out of the top 100 to now seeing it in the top 30. Which is a wild jump. You can’t predict these things.
I just say I heard those names out in the market the other day and they could possibly be on the rise. Fwiw, just let her live and learn.
Send her the list of names that the government realses for top 100 names ( for the US it's the social security administration) and tell her it's a good way to get name ideas. If she doesn't read it then that's on her
You got me curious so I looked it up both are top ten names for 2023 in all New England states (with the exception of Oliver in Rhode Island which is 13th most popular) Ultimately both are lovely names and the volume of kids being named that isn’t as intense as popular names in years past. If you two have a good relationship, I don’t see the harm in gently pointing her in the direction of the SSA data for her state specifically. Might be a deal breaker for her, might not but at least she’ll have all the info
“Did you see the top 10 baby names for last year?”
I relate. My cousin said "We're naming her Luna, we wanted something super unique" .. Okay 🤷♀️
They’re beautiful names. Don’t say anything and don’t bring it up later.
She’s your sister. I’d tell my sister how it is, no need to hedge.
My SIL was shocked! Shocked to find out that her baby’s name is in the top 50. “But I’ve never heard of a [name]!” She has been shocked every time I’ve brought it up — I think she blocks it out. This year it’s in the top 20 if you include variant spellings, and I imagine she will be shocked to learn that too. It’s easy not to know what baby names are popular unless you seek that information out. Most of us don’t hang out with large swaths of babies, so it won’t come up until our kids are in school.
I’d just kindly but factually tell her they’re top 10 names these days, and she should look at the stats for her state. If she has coworkers or acquaintances with young kids, or who work with young kids, to ask them too. Of course I’d tell her they’re nice names, and maybe look on baby name sites for lists with a similar feel (like Nameberry, etc.).