I went through bullying like this. (eta. ny post article abt the bullying linked in comments) I feel so badly for her. Sometimes, I just want to do high school talks that consist of letting kids know that high school will be over soon.
And then you have those fuckwits going around telling high schoolers “these are the best years of your life”
When I actually was in high school in one of our year level assemblies we had a teach go off on a huge rant about how much he hates that phrase.
Tbh I think my days were longer in HS. Wake up at 6:30, school till 2, sports till 5, get home with home work to do. My busy season at work can be tough but even then it’s 9 to 6 working from home
My son was bullied all 3 years of middle school. I tried it all, politely shining the light, getting angry, going to the board, etc. School did NOTHING. In one case my son was attacked from behind, glasses shattered, welt on the back of his head from being punched. 3 day suspension for him and the attacker. It wasn’t until parents of witnesses contacted me that night to back up my son’s story that I had any recourse.
I absolutely lit up the administrator and principal the next day because NOPE. How did it end up? We had to file charges for the school to lift the suspension for our son. And they still docked him for the first day when we were still gathering statements.
Schools do nothing these days. All the focus is on kids graduating and state test scores. If they expel someone their numbers go down. So they let bullies bully and this is how things end up.
Fighting fiercely for our son got him through, knowing we have his back and it was a temporary situation. Luckily the charges were enough for expulsion for his attacker. Now he’s in HS, dedicated to sports, and has genuinely good friends around him. But god help anyone else who pulls this shit.
Sorry, got a bit passionate there. I’m still mad about it.
If I had known life would get much better after high school, I would've been a way more enjoyable and happy person back then. Man, I wish I could just forget about those years now.
Fuck that's a sad story. Parents seemed like they did try their best. Switched her to a different school then home schooled and she had a therapist but the bullying never stopped.
The last time I read about a bullying related suicide I sat my stepdaughter down and told her that we would absolutely rather move states than have her kill herself, that if she was ever that desperate to come to us and we would start over. I cannot imagine watching your child go through that.
That is so important. I was bullied pretty heavily in elementary to middle school by a teachers daughter at a small private school. I think there must have been multiple instances that year and not just by the one girl, but my parents were pretty vocal about it and I remember admin just throwing their hands up and immediately the next day after reporting an incident, they pulled all the students out to watch a depressing PSA documentary against bullying. Focusing on interviews with families of kids who committed suicide after being bullied. And I just remember looking over at my bully who had a completely annoyed and bored, unbothered expression and having a complete breakdown wondering if the intended message was that the bullying would only really end if the victims offed themselves. I think any frank conversation like you had, acknowledging the scariest sides of it but also confirming there would be a safe escape would have been so helpful.
> by a teachers daughter at a small private school
Weird, same! Now we're adults and she works at the same place as my sister and bullies her. I honestly just feel sad for her. What a life, never learning or growing in any way.
My school showed a similar video, I complained about it to my dad who calmly explained that bullying ends when someone punches the bully in the face.
I did. He was right.
Used to have a bully in middle school who went away after I hit him over the head with the lock from my locker. I was lucky that the teacher believed me when I said that he made it all up and is lying.
As a retired teacher, that wouldn't be surprising. Many times, if I didn't see what happened, I would rely on both students' past behaviors when trying to figure out a conflict. If a kid I knew had a history of bullying others told me another kid hit them, and that other kid was more likely to usually be a victim than perpetrator? I would definitely side with the latter and pretend I didn't believe they would do such a thing.
Plausible deniability. Plus most kids who are pricks to other kids, are jerks to teachers also.
When I was at school I was a high achiever, which made me a target for bullies. However, I also had quite a temper and used to fight back against them. One day this kid pushed me too far and I responded by punching him right in the face, just as a teacher came around the corner. This particular guy was a sports coach and he had a reputation for being like a drill sergeant - and in fact he had been in the military before becoming a teacher.
To my 14 year old mind, I thought I was screwed. Surely this strict teacher was going to give me the bollocking of my life. But he just came up and said 'well done for sticking up for yourself' and let me go on my way. I was astonished.
I'm now 38 and it makes a lot more sense to me. This teacher liked me because I worked hard and didn't cause trouble. The other kid was a trouble maker and a cheeky little shit, and all the teachers probably hated him.
That teacher probably enjoyed watching him get the smirk wiped off his face by my right hook.
I snapped and dragged my bully around by her hood one day on the playground in 6th grade. Just so happened not a single yard duty teacher saw what happened and she didn't get much consoling when she ran off crying.
Later, my teacher told my mom in confidence that I'd deserved that moment and he wouldn't do anything to take it away from me.
She never bullied me again, so there is that.
I headbutted one in the middle of the hallway in view of two teachers. Exploded his nose onto his face. I just remember him going for me and someone shouting 'where's the headbutt?', not sure if it was meant for him or me but I wasn't going second on that one.
He wanted to fight me on the school bus after school that day but it all just kicked off in the corridor between lessons a few hours beforehand. I even got on that bus that day after the incident, could've taken way more convenient buses to get home but I wasn't backing down at that point. He never even showed up.
Teachers didn't say a thing. They knew I was definitely not a fighter so probably figured I was pushed just enough and let it be.
This is what ended bullying for me in high school too.
Got bullied pretty bad, had enough one day and hit the bully with a chair in the head.
Never bullied again.
This is what zero tolerance allows. You're right that it's 100% bullshit, but it's because the victim gets in trouble anyways for being a victim. If you're going to get in trouble anyways, why not deserve it by fighting back? It's literally the only silver lining to zero tolerance.
Yep, almost the same thing. Bullied relentlessly through middle school and in 8th grade, being told the whole time by everyone to just 'be the better man and walk away', with the bullying never ending. I finally ended up shattering my bully's nose into pieces on the bus. Week long suspension, but never bullied again.
>And I just remember looking over at my bully who had a completely annoyed and bored, unbothered expression
Very few bullies actually care, huh? And some, even worse, only gain that as a new weapon and motivation to continue to do it, telling their target to go kill themselves...
School bullies need to be shown consequences, not videos appealing to their clearly lacking conscience. Encourage victims to name and shame, with any repercussions for being told on met with instant expulsion. The impetus should not be on the victim it should be on the school to create an anti-bullying atmosphere. If the school is unresponsive parents should raise hell, go to the board, go to the press if necessary.
School admins need to start being shown consequences, manslaughter charges for knowingly ignoring bullying if a kid dies from it. They will stamp that shit out quick if it's their ass on the line.
This. The schools create the environment that is ripe for bullying, but then are held harmless when it happens. Start holding them responsible, and it will end in a hot second.
> wondering if the intended message was that the bullying would only end if the victims offed themselves
Goddamn. That's insightful and depressing as fuck
I can't remember where I read it, or the validity of it but iirc Angela Lansbury did exactly that. This is going back decades but her son became a heroin addict and her daughter was involved in The Manson family cult. She bought a farmhouse in rural Ireland and moved them both there, later credited it with saving her kids lives. I've always thought about that as a good example of how just getting out of your immediate area can do wonders for your mental health.
I'm curious if suicide rates are higher with social media than in the old days. At least in the old days you could escape when you went home after school.
The family apparently moved schools and then homeschooled and "it still followed her" that made me think of social media. It follows you everywhere and all the time.
My ex has alienated me nearly successfully out of my daughter’s life. I would move mountains, slay dragons, rearrange the heavens… anything so I can hug her again.
I’m so sorry - that’s awful. Have you tried keeping in touch with her through letters or something? Or has it gotten to the point where your daughter is starting to believe your ex’s lies and so refuses to engage with you?
My only advice, as someone who lost their dad when they were 6, please don’t ever harden your heart against her. There may come a time when you’ve done all the legal challenges you could, and your ex has successfully poisoned your daughter against you, and the healthiest thing you can think of to do is let go. But your daughter will grow up eventually, and sometimes when we’re grown we can see past the manipulations of our parents. It’s possible your daughter could come to you as an adult and ask to try and develop a relationship again. Please consider that, no matter how much bitterness has occurred.
Sometimes I wonder if my dad could even manage to be in the same room with me, considering how many times I’ve messed up. It would be… devastating if he rejected me for not being good enough or not trying hard enough. Even if he were right. I would be destroyed.
No, it’s more subtle than all that. Cutting FaceTimes down to one 10 min call per week and at my ex’s mercy for visits and the ex will sit there for the whole 1-2 hrs. I travel 6-7 hrs drive each way for those visits. I’d walk if it meant I got more time. I went there last weekend.. it was her birthday Saturday.. didn’t even get to see her, 2 minute FaceTime to wish her happy birthday and even that request was initially met with a “you’ll see her tomorrow”. My daughter is very clever.. so my ex is walking the fine line of pushing me out while probably making a song and dance about how she bends over backwards so my kid and I can spend time together.
My daughter loves me every bit as much as I love her. Which just makes it hurt so much more. She turned 9 on Saturday.. I’ve cried every day this month. I’m in tears right now.
I literally just had to do this for my son. One and a half years in my home state and he was being bullied relentlessly. Like beaten at school. We moved 12 hours away to another state and it’s been great ever since. We lived in this place before and he went to this school so it was less of a dice roll but worth every penny I spent to get back here.
I always wonder why not name and shame the bullies and others who supported the bullying. Like where u have evidence. Or is that libel. You can't do much else at this point since but call people on their bs, unless u can still sue certain ones. Based on the mom's comments, she is receiving condolences from some of those assholes.
> In a unanimous 1979 decision, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in Smith v. Daily Mail that the First Amendment protects the right of journalists to use the names of minors in newsworthy stories as long as the information is “lawfully obtained” and “truthfully” reported. ((Smith v. Daily Mail, 443 U.S. 97 (1979). See also Oklahoma Publishing Co. v. District Court, 430 U.S. 308 (1977)(Supreme Court lifted an injunction that prohibited publication of the name or photograph of an 11-year-old boy charged with second-degree murder).
https://splc.org/2020/01/naming-names-identifying-minors/
> The Poynter Institute’s Al Tompkins, who has written widely on media ethics, has created a useful list of questions and factors that student journalists may want to consider when deciding whether or not to identify juveniles, particularly those involved in criminal activities.((Tompkins, A., “Guidelines for Identifying Juveniles,” The Poynter Institute. Available online at: http://www.poynter.org. (Last viewed Jan. 24, 2020).))
>
> Among them:
>
> Who is served by identifying the juvenile?
> How newsworthy is the story?
> What is the juvenile’s history?
> Would others be harmed if the minor was not named or if rumors were allowed to circulate unchecked?
>
> The decision about when and how to identify young people involved in news stories can sometimes be tough. In the end, however, the decision should be an editorial and ethical choice — not one dictated by law.
Private citizens like the parents can say whatever name they want.
The father can. If he knows it's them and he has evidence, he can totally out them. I'm surprised he didn't find that boy and beat the shit out of him.
I wasnt thinking of vigilantism like some commenters are, nor of naming names. I was just thinking that if this was my kid, and I saw a FB message of condolence from someone i knew was a bully, or a parent I knew who talked shit, I'd reply back to them and mention that and tell them to f off.
It used to be that when you left a school that was usually it, but now the bullying follows you no thanks to social media. I know a young lady that was bullied at school and she moved, but she was still harassed constantly online.
7th grade teacher here.
Bullying no longer takes place in schools the way the tv shows or movies you grew up with depicted it.
Bullying takes place online. Snapchat is the worst thing you can possibly give a teenager access to. An IM service where you can send whatever you want and the message auto deletes after it’s read? That is bully paradise right there.
I see it every single day with students. I’ve personally pushed the issue and got one student expelled and an upcoming trial date after he reached over the divider and used his phone to take a picture of another student on the toilet. Guess where that photo circulated? Snapchat.
If your kid has 24/7 access to a smartphone and social media you have given their bullies access to them 24/7. And teens this age are at a stage in their lives where they are information sponges related to the social hierarchy and their place within it. Most of them Will. Not. Be. Able. To. Resist checking those messages, even if they know the content will make them feel like shit.
Students getting beaten up? That happens off campus, but bullies always have a posse and somebody is always recording. Those videos get disseminated and come to the attention of the school. They hand out a middling punishment because now you are on the shaky ground of punishing students for off campus behavior, and bully kids have bully parents that like to use legal action as threats.
Those videos still get passed around. If you grew up before the age of 12 year olds with smart phones try to remember what it was like when you were 12. Thinking everyone saw anything embarrassing you ever did, every flaw you had is pointed out and secretly mocked, when I was 12 that was all in my head. For this generation that’s a reality.
Remember middle school dances? Everybody standing in a circle during the songs and seeing who would be brave enough to dance in the middle. Same thing still happens except now every single kid on the edge of the circle has their phone out, Snapchat up, and waiting to video anyone in the circle.
All social media is terrible for teens, but Snapchat and it’s ilk are true abominations.
Remember that when you hear schools proudly tout that they have a Zero Tolerance policy towards bullying it’s all bullshit. They do whatever they need to do to avoid lawsuits.
My experience with Zero Tolerane policies was getting detention/suspension because someone walked up and punched me. Multiple times. Once it happened right in front of the Vice Principal. He was looking right at me, within arms reach, as I was minding my business walking towards the door at the end of the day and some kid ran up and punched me in the face.
I got suspended for that.
I had the same thig happen to me- bully gave me a bloody nose and ruined a new shirt in front of a teacher who did nothing. My mother gave him Holy Hell for that the next day- called him out in the office in front of the Principle. The bully never had any detention or anything happen to him. I got treated like hell by the teacher for the rest of the school year.
"zero tolerance" is just a fancy way of saying that both victim and bully will get punished, and if it happens too much then they'll throw you out because "we have a zero tolerance policy". And that's if they decide to do anything at all instead of either ignoring it, or even encouraging it.
Edit: Original post linked an article detailing how the girl had been bullied by other children relentlessly for years both in person, online, and via phone. Coming home with injuries and obvious signs of abuse. Her parents were actively trying to protect her to no avail.
.........
Had to scroll down way too far to find this. Reading that story I asked myself "Why didn't they switch schools?" *They did and the bullying continued.* Then I asked myself "Why didn't they homeschool her?" *They did and the bullying continued.*
These parents tried everything to create a safe space for their daughter but the reality is there is no safe space for kids today. The bullying follows them home online. What a horrible situation.
If anything I would assume a large quantity of bullying *is* online/social media. I don't actually know though and sadly that implies no where is safe. Ugh to be a kid today with everything on top of rampant social media... at least when I was young the bullying stopped when I left the playground that day. Today kids never *really* leave the playground when the bullying follows them online. How incredibly sad 😔
> These parents tried everything to create a safe space for their daughter but the reality is there is no safe space for kids today. The bullying follows them home online. What a horrible situation.
It's why every parent needs to learn how to use, monitor, and care for all things pertaining to their kids online. You can't rest on laurels when it's possible for bullies and predators to get into your house via the internet.
Doesnt even matter if the target themselves are online.
If i was a cyber bully it would be the same as when i was bullied as a kid. Im not going to directly attack the individual. Mercilessly attack their reputation regardless of truth. That way they get to have zero friends.
Oh they are not on social media due to the bullying? Spin rhat as they are trying to lie low as the shit i am saying about them is true and they have no defense against it so they are trying to hide from the truth.
Its very easy to get most people to believe a negative, and its impossible to disprove a negative.
Yeah I had a friend who had facebook groups made about her that her bullies were all in where they'd talk shit about her and spread it around. Obviously, she wasn't in the group. Even if she hadn't had facebook, it wouldn't have stopped them.
Damn. Was I too self-involved to be a bully in high school? I literally couldn’t imagine giving that much of a shit what someone else did that I’d make a whole group about them.
That's a more effective solution when you're living your own life anyway, rather than part of a group or community where everyone else is using social media to talk about you.
Perhaps a kid with a long history of being bullied would develop stunted or abnormal social skills and therefore be a prime target for more bullying in another school. I knew plenty of awkward social outcasts in school, and I don't think everything would magically become normal if they switched to another one.
The original bullies could’ve had friends in the new school or reached out to kids attending. I don’t remember the name of the girl, but it has happened before
Lol wtf, is there some child bully version of Uber, Uber assholes, just sends someone to ruin someone else's day...?
Seriously though I hope your daughter gets the help she needs. Please advocate for her and don't let those little turds get away with that.
This is the article that should be circulated, not the dribble from kake.com. This tells her story much better and isn’t defending guns or being political. A young girl was bullied into suicide by shooting herself. That is the only thing people should be discussing. Despicable article at top, great article here, so thank you u/generic230
The parents of the children that did this to her are the worst people. They have filled their children with ugliness, and they focused all that on a single victim.
But the lawmakers are concentrating on the important issues: „Kansas lawmakers say guns shouldn’t be blamed in spiking youth suicide rates.“ 🙄
This is fucking insane.
> “My daughter would come in covered in bruises and stuff like that,” he said, detailing how one girl dumped rubber cement in his daughter’s hair as other students watched, while another encouraged her to cut herself.
Townies are fucking psycopathic.
Man i grew up in a small 3000 person town and yeah it's fucked up.
The kids were ruthless. I was bullied for a time. They would literally steal my shit, steal my money, make fun of me daily.
My parents were from a big city, we all moved when I was younger. I never joined the sports teams and my father always encouraged we play around with the internet and games, as he felt it was the future and we should learn to code and use tools like that (hey it worked)
I once got beat up because a kids computer got a virus and he randomly assumed I did it somehow.
The only thing that stopped it, I learned years later, was my father who got extremely aggressive with the parents. He beat one of the parents up and hired people to literally harass other parents daily at work until he heard there was change in their kids. I also learned he was 'connected' around that time so I simply lucked out of that one. Thank you dad. I feel for those who don't have any way out or a ruthless defender.
The townies parents are all fucked up too. It's nearly encouraged. Be tough. Play hockey. Cause trouble. Towns that small are just a community that all grew up together for generations. The adults all know one another. They know the teachers, they know the police. Being shitheads to outsiders or some of the kids was the norm. And the kids lives at home are usually bad too.
It’s all learned behaviour, added with no personal consequences for their actions. Might only take one or two kids with dogshit parents to start internalising the cruelty and the evil inflicted upon them as something to inflict upon others.
Pick on the weakest.. then she probably had an even weaker demeanour and it becomes a vicious cycle. Everyone wants to look tough and the weakest is the easiest option knowing you're not likely to have any come backs from them.
Those fucking kids are monsters. Abhorrent monsters incapable of functioning in society and deserve to be locked away or exiled. I can’t believe that this girl changed schools, taken out of school to be homeschooled, and even when enrolled in online classes and when not anywhere in the vicinity of school, was STILL bullied, harassed, *sexually harassed*, physically assaulted, had her money and AirPods stolen, and driven to suicide.
Goddamn, this is the kind of shit that always made me never want to live in a small town, especially in the Midwest… but even this is still so much worse than I could’ve ever imagined.
Many years ago when I was young, I was hanging out in an area where homeless youth tended to also hang out - I met several kids who had run away and many of them had legit reasons for doing so. I met kids with permanent scars from child abuse, broken bones, and stories of being locked in closets for days. There's so much abuse when it comes to kids, especially in those awful group homes.
Not to mention familial sexual abuse, which is a lot more common than people in our society want to admit. I know a woman who was pimped by her parents in order to pay for meth. She ran away at fifteen. The police tried to get her to go back to her pimps--they didn't believe her at all. she ended up living homeless for a couple of years until another friend's son let her crash at his place--they are now married with two kids. Her parents were murdered a few years ago.
> Not to mention familial sexual abuse, which is a lot more common than people in our society want to admit.
The most depressing statistic that I ever learned is that on average it takes a child reporting sexual abuse to 3.1 adults before they're listened to and the report is acted upon.
[This article](https://nypost.com/2023/09/25/schoolgirl-who-fatally-shot-herself-in-front-of-deputy-had-been-bullied-for-years-family/) talks about a 20 year old guy she was attending the party with. In no universe is that a good sign.
I wonder this too. She deserved more than the sum of her experiences there. I hope she has some peace now, she was much too young to be leaving in such a manner 😭
Possibly something awful... but there's no guarantee. Maybe it was school. Maybe it was online. Maybe she was just sad... being a teenager is fucking hard and I imagine these days it's way hard than it was for me (early 2000s).
Something worth investigating, but also possibly she was just depressed. Maybe her parents are stellar examples of what to do and she feared they'd take her back to a psych ward. Of course, that's how I'm seeing it through the eyes of a parent of a teenage daughter that tried to end herself in January and has been in the psych ward three times this year. I imagine what could have happened if I'd have slipped up even once. Every day, multiple times a day, I make sure the kitchen knives are in their lockbox, her sister didn't leave a razor out in the bathroom, my tools are all locked up in the garage only I have a key to, all medicines are in the safe in my bedroom, she didn't come home with anything she can hurt herself with. It's fucking awful and it's terrifying and I wish it on no parent. My job is to protect her, but that is infinitely harder when she's her own danger. So, like you, I'll reserve judgement. Sure, it's possible her home life was tragic, but I'll wait to speculate on the cause. And as much as people like to shit on cops, myself included even coming from a family loaded with them, I can easily imagine that this officer is dealing with some big feelings about this too. A lot of first responders have soft spots when it comes to children, even the shitty ones
According to [this article](https://nypost.com/2023/09/25/schoolgirl-who-fatally-shot-herself-in-front-of-deputy-had-been-bullied-for-years-family/) the parents say she was badly bullied over the past year and was turned on and gossiped about by former friends and their parents. Apparently she ran away to go to a party and it was very late at night. Honestly, if you're already depressed and having social difficulties and then the police show up to take you home in front of everyone at the party -- it would be a low point even if your parents are angels. The humiliation would overwhelming. Poor kid. Whatever happened here, it's so unfair that she didn't get her chance at life.
Me too, a parent of a daughter who tried to kill herself several times. You can try to hide everything, all it takes is a rope or a building to jump off. Ours tried to drown herself. The cops found her, called us and were very very helpful and patient. I know that's not the usual story people hear about. They got her to the psych ward..she went back a couple times. It was scary but finally the last psych ward stay (a month) worked as well as them finding the right combination of drugs for her, a Psychiatrist who took loads of extra time to talk with her. They all literally saved her life. She is back to herself and thriving.
Hey, I went through what your kid is going through, having all stuff like that locked up & looking back, I know it was for the best & that it was to protect me but just be aware that it can really make her feel like a little kid. I'm not saying to stop being careful, not at all but just really listen to her & if she says or implies that she feels like a baby or like she can't be trusted, just reassure her that you know it's whatever mental illness causing this & that it's not punishment. Even if she doesn't understand, right now, I believe she will come to understand it, eventually.
I am truly sorry that your daughter is dealing with this & I hope she finds the treatment that works for her, with as little trial & error as possible.
& you should get some therapy for yourself because it's gotta be gutwrenching to watch her go through this. My parents told me that getting the phone call that they needed to hurry up & get to the hospital to say goodbye, was the most terrified & helpless they'd ever felt so I think anyone that has recently dealt with something like that, could benefit from seeing a therapist & getting it out.
Right. When I go to the article I get a prompt to read another article about “Kansas Republican lawmakers deny state gun laws linked to skyrocketing teenage suicide rates”
This poor child.
Man, that is a messed up situation. I'd be curious to what was happening at her home, for her to do that. Or if she had a history of mental health problems.
I worked for an insurance agency in the early 2000s... One of our reps was on the phone, and she let out a scream and collapsed. Her son, who was having mental health issues, called her at work and committed suicide while on the phone with her.
Christ that is heart breaking. I can't even begin to imagine what she went through. I am certain though her life after that was never the same.
I can recall, some time back looking at a video of a gamer who was streaming. He was gaming in his bedroom and you can hear him and his friends talking. Then from somewhere in the house you hear a loud bang, and the sounds of some women screaming. He then jumps up and runs to the back, then returns and quickly says, his brother has committed suicide, and he has to go. It was so surreal to watch that in a real-time setting. It takes you out of whatever fantasy world you were in with that game, slamming you into reality at such a fast pace.
While I do not know him, I too hope he is doing good, I was just an outside observer watching him game, but for that brief moment it felt like as an observer you were pulled into his family and it was heart breaking. I wish that both he and his family can get some form of healing after what they've experienced.
One day I was walking down the street when I heard the most blood curdling scream. I literally thought to myself it sounded like someone who had just witnessed a murder. Turns out a girl and her bf were arguing and he shot himself in front of her. I think about that girl often and really hope she got the therapy she needed after that.
`called her at work and committed suicide while on the phone with her.`
My ex girlfriend did this to me. It wasn't my child but I grasp her pain. It's surreal and shattering..
We loved each other so much.
Sorry you went through that. I had a similar situation, though not quite as direct. I got a call on my way home from work one day. Nobody said anything, but I suspected it was my ex. They hung up after ~10 seconds, and I tried calling back, but no answer.
It wasn't until a month later that I found out what happened that day.
About 5 years ago, I was working at a call center with my friend and her fiancé. I was sitting next to him on the computer, just a normal day. His phone rang and when he picked it up it all I heard immediately was just so much screaming. It was his mom after finding out his brother had taken his own life. The worst most horrible part is he had ANOTHER brother who had taken his life years before. So two brothers, two sons. The funeral was a lot.
Got this from another site.
>The family of the teen say she suffered severe bullying at two different schools in the area before her death
>A bullied teenager died in her father's arms after disobeying her parents to attend a party before shooting herself when cops tried to bring her home.
Sounds like she got bullied at two schools. Finally found a school where they invite her to a party. And her parents forbid her to go. Shit like that can trigger a teen *hard*.
Bullying and helicopter parents is a TERRIBLE combination. The only people who can keep you safe suddenly feel just as restrictive as the bullies, and you begint o feel like you have nowhere to go.
>Bullying and helicopter parents is a TERRIBLE combination. The only people who can keep you safe suddenly feel just as restrictive as the bullies, and you begint o feel like you have nowhere to go.
I'm not sure forbidding a 14 year old from going to a party with a 20 year old counts as helicopter parenting.
I was working at 911 and got to listen to similar things, but they weren't from people I loved. I can't imagine how horrific that would be. (It was bad enough hearing others go through it).
(I did take the call when my uncle had a heart attack)
unbelievably tragic. she was bullied. i fear for every child that suffers through being bullied just trying to go to school every day. absolutely breaks my heart and soul
The in-article link is probably not the most sensitive thing to have in the report.
"Kansas lawmakers say guns shouldn’t be blamed in spiking youth suicide rates"
> “Kansas lawmakers say guns shouldn’t be blamed in spiking youth suicide rates"
Based on [nothing](https://www.kff.org/mental-health/issue-brief/do-states-with-easier-access-to-guns-have-more-suicide-deaths-by-firearm/) but their uneducated opinion on the matter I’m sure.
If I had access to a loaded gun I would be dead now. I knew my dad kept a loaded gun in his closet. The gun I put to my head and pulled the trigger on was not that gun, and I didn't realize it. My brother had put his unloaded gun there because he was having marital issues and thought it better it be out of his home, and that was the gun I found. I found bullets, but I didn't know how to load it. (they didn't go to that gun anyway.)
I saw a TV show where a foster child jumped off a building when prompted to return home. It was later revealed that the foster home was a sexual abuse ring.
Makes you wonder what that girl went through.
This makes me sick. Growing up, I knew of a couple of families that only fostered for the money. It wasn’t until I was much older that I realized they weren’t rare. It’s disgusting. I would foster in a heartbeat if I could get my husband on board. I’m so sorry for what you went through. You deserved so much better.
This is why I know I want to be a foster parent. I’m 27 right now but i deeply feel it’s my life’s purpose to take care of children that already exist.
My father sexually abused my 12 year old nephew when I was 15. I know how dangerous people and this world can be and want to do whatever I can to make kids feel loved and safe.
I feel this so much. I’m currently learning about how to become a foster parent. I have a family but they were abusive too and you want to give that love and trust you never had.
Absolutely. We need more people like you. I was considering possibly doing it when I get to 45 or 50, because of this. Just solely to help those kids avoid something like that. I don't think I want kids of my own, but I would like to help a kid or two who is stuck in the system.
I have two siblings. Myself and one sibling stayed with the family, but the oldest was given up for adoption due to my mom being young. Me and my sibling had a really bad childhood but my adopted sibling had an amazing life with loving parents. Ended up having a great career and a loving family.
The difference that the home environment makes is so astounding. There's a good chance you could *really* affect the trajectory of some kids' lives if you foster or adopt. Even if it's a decade or two away from now.
So, I had a chaotic childhood, but I was never abused. My dad was a deadbeat addict for my younger years, so I bounced between living with very supportive and loving family members. I moved around my hometown a bit, but I was always cared for and looked after.
Anyhow, I've always wanted to foster. I figured out by high school that I didn't want kids and it didn't take much longer for me to realize fostering felt like the right option for me. Like, obviously my childhood wasn't stellar, but I can't imagine going through that without my family having my back.
P.S. my dad has been clean for over a decade and we are super close. Addiction does nasty things to people
She was being mercilessly bullied and her parents seem to have done all they could to stop it. But good that you've accused them of sexual abuse with no evidence whatsoever. Thanks for your contribution.
That would probably be my last day on the force. Seeing a 14 year old kill herself in front of me would be something I'd never recover from. I can't imagine how the parents feel right now.
Wish I never clicked this news article. This child reminds me of me growing up, not the best upbringing and always thought about offing myself at such a young age just because I wanted out. This poor girl, it really makes me wonder.
Reminds me of POD's Youth of a Nation.
"Kinda hard when you ain't got no friends, he put his life to an end, you might remember him then. Crossed the line and there's no turning back, he told the world how he felt with the sound of a gat."
Song came out 20 odd years ago and here we are, still with kids tortured into suicide.
deranged outgoing domineering abundant chunky screw unused shelter squeamish advise
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Did no one read the goddamn article?! Wait, of course not, this is Reddit. The problem wasn’t her home life, it was school. Sure there may have been additional issues at home, but at school she was physically and sexually assaulted, and after her family pulled her out of school she was harassed and sent death threats online. She shot herself after running away from home and attending a party with a 20 year old. Sounds like that’s where she probably got the gun. The family talked to the school, took her out of school, and put her in therapy, it really seems like they were doing their best. Stop jumping to blame them.
Edit: I confused the article OP posted with one posted by another user that made it to the comment. Stop upvoting, I’m wrong.
AURORA, Kan. (KAKE) - Authorities in north-central Kansas say a 14-year-old girl fatally shot herself in front of a deputy who was trying to convince the teen to return home.
The Cloud County Sheriff's Office said a local resident called around 11:30 p.m. Saturday to request help locating the teenage family member. She was believed to have run away from home and was attending a party in rural Aurora, Kansas.
A deputy responded to the outdoor party near 210th and Lark roads that was attended by high school and college students.
"The deputy located the girl, and tried to convince her to return to her family," the sheriff's office said in a release. "He was escorting her to his patrol vehicle, when she pulled out a firearm and shot herself."
The release said the deputy did not draw his weapon.
The deputy and an off-duty firefighter attempted lifesaving measures, but the girl died at the scene shortly after midnight.
Kansas lawmakers say guns shouldn’t be blamed in spiking youth suicide rates
Multiple partygoers witnessed the incident and offered interviews. The sheriff's office requested the assistance of the Kansas Bureau of Investigation "to ensure impartiality since their deputy was present during the shooting."
A GoFundMe has been established to help the girl's family.
If you are having suicidal thoughts, please get help immediately. Go to a hospital, call 911 or call the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988.
That's the article. Where does it say anything about her school?
The comments in this thread are wild. This is one of the most random suicide stories I've read. How would a cop even intuit that this could happen? How would anyone have prevented this in the moment? And why are so many people here convinced the reason she did it is because of [insert wild accusations here]???
A lot of jumping to conclusions here. A person can be suicidal in a completely health/loving environment.
It's why people are shocked when rich and/or famous people take their own lives because "omg that had it so good".
You don't know anything about what's going on in someone else's head. It of course could be abuse or something that led this kid to do that and for the sake of the other kids it should be looked into. But speculation is dumb when it comes to suicide.
My god that’s absolutely tragic
Makes me wonder what was happening at home that helped bring her to that point. We already know there are deep societal issues In America that need addressing.
My heart breaks for that young girl and that deputy that will no doubt be scarred for a long long time. RIP young one ❤️
The fuck? There is literally a link saying she was mercilessly bullied for 2 years..
Let’s not add random bullshit internet rumors to the trauma that family are facing.
A related article on this one said
>> TOPEKA — Though firearm deaths make up a significant amount of youth suicides in the state, lawmakers on a mental health committee rejected recommendations for gun safety measures, asking instead to look at social media and the internet.
>> “We need to focus not so much on the tool as we do the reason,” said Rep. Doug Blex, R-Independence, during the Aug. 24 meeting. “The reason is what causes people to pull the trigger so to speak, and sometimes we get overboard with thinking that if we take away the tool, that’s going to solve the problem.”
I’m pretty sure the tool is just as important. Other methods of suicide are much more difficult to accomplish than shooting yourself, and many of them can be stopped before it actually results in death.
Hard to stop your brain turning into mush in a fraction of a second.
The fact that enough people don't seem to be able to keep their firearms secure enough to keep children from killing themselves and others on a weekly basis is literally all the evidence needed for stricter gun control, but God forbid we ever actually do anything about it other than act surprised when it happens again.
yeah... this kind of stuff will destroy your life, genuinely. I hope the officer has serious support in their life and seeks mental health treatment immediately. I can't imagine...
This sends a burning heavy feeling into my heart.
If I had had a daughter, by the time she would be starting school, I would have moved us to a hippie commune just to avoid bullying and mean people.
What made her feel death was a better choice than going back home? That's my main concern now. What the fuck brought her to that point, and who the fuck was negligent to allow access to a gun?
I went through bullying like this. (eta. ny post article abt the bullying linked in comments) I feel so badly for her. Sometimes, I just want to do high school talks that consist of letting kids know that high school will be over soon.
And then you have those fuckwits going around telling high schoolers “these are the best years of your life” When I actually was in high school in one of our year level assemblies we had a teach go off on a huge rant about how much he hates that phrase.
I really enjoyed high school but the idea of it being the best years of my life is depressing to consider
It's because you have no real responsibilities and you feel immortal. After high school you realize just how much life and work suck.
Tbh I think my days were longer in HS. Wake up at 6:30, school till 2, sports till 5, get home with home work to do. My busy season at work can be tough but even then it’s 9 to 6 working from home
Pro Tip: if someone tells you high school is going to be the best time of your life, don’t listen to that someone. Ever.
My son was bullied all 3 years of middle school. I tried it all, politely shining the light, getting angry, going to the board, etc. School did NOTHING. In one case my son was attacked from behind, glasses shattered, welt on the back of his head from being punched. 3 day suspension for him and the attacker. It wasn’t until parents of witnesses contacted me that night to back up my son’s story that I had any recourse. I absolutely lit up the administrator and principal the next day because NOPE. How did it end up? We had to file charges for the school to lift the suspension for our son. And they still docked him for the first day when we were still gathering statements. Schools do nothing these days. All the focus is on kids graduating and state test scores. If they expel someone their numbers go down. So they let bullies bully and this is how things end up. Fighting fiercely for our son got him through, knowing we have his back and it was a temporary situation. Luckily the charges were enough for expulsion for his attacker. Now he’s in HS, dedicated to sports, and has genuinely good friends around him. But god help anyone else who pulls this shit. Sorry, got a bit passionate there. I’m still mad about it.
If I had known life would get much better after high school, I would've been a way more enjoyable and happy person back then. Man, I wish I could just forget about those years now.
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Fuck that's a sad story. Parents seemed like they did try their best. Switched her to a different school then home schooled and she had a therapist but the bullying never stopped.
The last time I read about a bullying related suicide I sat my stepdaughter down and told her that we would absolutely rather move states than have her kill herself, that if she was ever that desperate to come to us and we would start over. I cannot imagine watching your child go through that.
That is so important. I was bullied pretty heavily in elementary to middle school by a teachers daughter at a small private school. I think there must have been multiple instances that year and not just by the one girl, but my parents were pretty vocal about it and I remember admin just throwing their hands up and immediately the next day after reporting an incident, they pulled all the students out to watch a depressing PSA documentary against bullying. Focusing on interviews with families of kids who committed suicide after being bullied. And I just remember looking over at my bully who had a completely annoyed and bored, unbothered expression and having a complete breakdown wondering if the intended message was that the bullying would only really end if the victims offed themselves. I think any frank conversation like you had, acknowledging the scariest sides of it but also confirming there would be a safe escape would have been so helpful.
> by a teachers daughter at a small private school Weird, same! Now we're adults and she works at the same place as my sister and bullies her. I honestly just feel sad for her. What a life, never learning or growing in any way.
Unfortunately, there's a certain time in life when you have to punch someone in the nose. This sounds like that time.
My school showed a similar video, I complained about it to my dad who calmly explained that bullying ends when someone punches the bully in the face. I did. He was right.
Used to have a bully in middle school who went away after I hit him over the head with the lock from my locker. I was lucky that the teacher believed me when I said that he made it all up and is lying.
Maybe the teacher knew they were a prick
As a retired teacher, that wouldn't be surprising. Many times, if I didn't see what happened, I would rely on both students' past behaviors when trying to figure out a conflict. If a kid I knew had a history of bullying others told me another kid hit them, and that other kid was more likely to usually be a victim than perpetrator? I would definitely side with the latter and pretend I didn't believe they would do such a thing. Plausible deniability. Plus most kids who are pricks to other kids, are jerks to teachers also.
When I was at school I was a high achiever, which made me a target for bullies. However, I also had quite a temper and used to fight back against them. One day this kid pushed me too far and I responded by punching him right in the face, just as a teacher came around the corner. This particular guy was a sports coach and he had a reputation for being like a drill sergeant - and in fact he had been in the military before becoming a teacher. To my 14 year old mind, I thought I was screwed. Surely this strict teacher was going to give me the bollocking of my life. But he just came up and said 'well done for sticking up for yourself' and let me go on my way. I was astonished. I'm now 38 and it makes a lot more sense to me. This teacher liked me because I worked hard and didn't cause trouble. The other kid was a trouble maker and a cheeky little shit, and all the teachers probably hated him. That teacher probably enjoyed watching him get the smirk wiped off his face by my right hook.
I snapped and dragged my bully around by her hood one day on the playground in 6th grade. Just so happened not a single yard duty teacher saw what happened and she didn't get much consoling when she ran off crying. Later, my teacher told my mom in confidence that I'd deserved that moment and he wouldn't do anything to take it away from me. She never bullied me again, so there is that.
I headbutted one in the middle of the hallway in view of two teachers. Exploded his nose onto his face. I just remember him going for me and someone shouting 'where's the headbutt?', not sure if it was meant for him or me but I wasn't going second on that one. He wanted to fight me on the school bus after school that day but it all just kicked off in the corridor between lessons a few hours beforehand. I even got on that bus that day after the incident, could've taken way more convenient buses to get home but I wasn't backing down at that point. He never even showed up. Teachers didn't say a thing. They knew I was definitely not a fighter so probably figured I was pushed just enough and let it be.
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I'll take a 3 day vacation if it means no more being tormented.
This is what ended bullying for me in high school too. Got bullied pretty bad, had enough one day and hit the bully with a chair in the head. Never bullied again.
and this is why zero tolerance is bullshit.
This is what zero tolerance allows. You're right that it's 100% bullshit, but it's because the victim gets in trouble anyways for being a victim. If you're going to get in trouble anyways, why not deserve it by fighting back? It's literally the only silver lining to zero tolerance.
Yep, almost the same thing. Bullied relentlessly through middle school and in 8th grade, being told the whole time by everyone to just 'be the better man and walk away', with the bullying never ending. I finally ended up shattering my bully's nose into pieces on the bus. Week long suspension, but never bullied again.
>And I just remember looking over at my bully who had a completely annoyed and bored, unbothered expression Very few bullies actually care, huh? And some, even worse, only gain that as a new weapon and motivation to continue to do it, telling their target to go kill themselves...
If it ever gets to that point it’s much more reasonable for the kids to go kill their bully?
School bullies need to be shown consequences, not videos appealing to their clearly lacking conscience. Encourage victims to name and shame, with any repercussions for being told on met with instant expulsion. The impetus should not be on the victim it should be on the school to create an anti-bullying atmosphere. If the school is unresponsive parents should raise hell, go to the board, go to the press if necessary.
School admins need to start being shown consequences, manslaughter charges for knowingly ignoring bullying if a kid dies from it. They will stamp that shit out quick if it's their ass on the line.
This. The schools create the environment that is ripe for bullying, but then are held harmless when it happens. Start holding them responsible, and it will end in a hot second.
> wondering if the intended message was that the bullying would only end if the victims offed themselves Goddamn. That's insightful and depressing as fuck
I'm now adding this to my future talks with my children. Thank you!
Yeah I'd legit move across the world and start a new life for my daughter.
I can't remember where I read it, or the validity of it but iirc Angela Lansbury did exactly that. This is going back decades but her son became a heroin addict and her daughter was involved in The Manson family cult. She bought a farmhouse in rural Ireland and moved them both there, later credited it with saving her kids lives. I've always thought about that as a good example of how just getting out of your immediate area can do wonders for your mental health.
This can’t be overstated enough, return to nature just for a day every now and again. We need it
Delete all social media, cut all ties with anyone. I'd help her do it all. I'd move countries.
I'm curious if suicide rates are higher with social media than in the old days. At least in the old days you could escape when you went home after school.
The family apparently moved schools and then homeschooled and "it still followed her" that made me think of social media. It follows you everywhere and all the time.
My ex has alienated me nearly successfully out of my daughter’s life. I would move mountains, slay dragons, rearrange the heavens… anything so I can hug her again.
That's brutal dude. Sorry you're going through that.
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I’m so sorry - that’s awful. Have you tried keeping in touch with her through letters or something? Or has it gotten to the point where your daughter is starting to believe your ex’s lies and so refuses to engage with you? My only advice, as someone who lost their dad when they were 6, please don’t ever harden your heart against her. There may come a time when you’ve done all the legal challenges you could, and your ex has successfully poisoned your daughter against you, and the healthiest thing you can think of to do is let go. But your daughter will grow up eventually, and sometimes when we’re grown we can see past the manipulations of our parents. It’s possible your daughter could come to you as an adult and ask to try and develop a relationship again. Please consider that, no matter how much bitterness has occurred. Sometimes I wonder if my dad could even manage to be in the same room with me, considering how many times I’ve messed up. It would be… devastating if he rejected me for not being good enough or not trying hard enough. Even if he were right. I would be destroyed.
No, it’s more subtle than all that. Cutting FaceTimes down to one 10 min call per week and at my ex’s mercy for visits and the ex will sit there for the whole 1-2 hrs. I travel 6-7 hrs drive each way for those visits. I’d walk if it meant I got more time. I went there last weekend.. it was her birthday Saturday.. didn’t even get to see her, 2 minute FaceTime to wish her happy birthday and even that request was initially met with a “you’ll see her tomorrow”. My daughter is very clever.. so my ex is walking the fine line of pushing me out while probably making a song and dance about how she bends over backwards so my kid and I can spend time together. My daughter loves me every bit as much as I love her. Which just makes it hurt so much more. She turned 9 on Saturday.. I’ve cried every day this month. I’m in tears right now.
You’re a good parent.
I literally just had to do this for my son. One and a half years in my home state and he was being bullied relentlessly. Like beaten at school. We moved 12 hours away to another state and it’s been great ever since. We lived in this place before and he went to this school so it was less of a dice roll but worth every penny I spent to get back here.
I always wonder why not name and shame the bullies and others who supported the bullying. Like where u have evidence. Or is that libel. You can't do much else at this point since but call people on their bs, unless u can still sue certain ones. Based on the mom's comments, she is receiving condolences from some of those assholes.
> Based on the mom's comments, she is receiving condolences from some of those assholes. I wonder how much of that is CYA
What does CYA mean here? "Covering your ass"?
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> In a unanimous 1979 decision, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in Smith v. Daily Mail that the First Amendment protects the right of journalists to use the names of minors in newsworthy stories as long as the information is “lawfully obtained” and “truthfully” reported. ((Smith v. Daily Mail, 443 U.S. 97 (1979). See also Oklahoma Publishing Co. v. District Court, 430 U.S. 308 (1977)(Supreme Court lifted an injunction that prohibited publication of the name or photograph of an 11-year-old boy charged with second-degree murder). https://splc.org/2020/01/naming-names-identifying-minors/ > The Poynter Institute’s Al Tompkins, who has written widely on media ethics, has created a useful list of questions and factors that student journalists may want to consider when deciding whether or not to identify juveniles, particularly those involved in criminal activities.((Tompkins, A., “Guidelines for Identifying Juveniles,” The Poynter Institute. Available online at: http://www.poynter.org. (Last viewed Jan. 24, 2020).)) > > Among them: > > Who is served by identifying the juvenile? > How newsworthy is the story? > What is the juvenile’s history? > Would others be harmed if the minor was not named or if rumors were allowed to circulate unchecked? > > The decision about when and how to identify young people involved in news stories can sometimes be tough. In the end, however, the decision should be an editorial and ethical choice — not one dictated by law. Private citizens like the parents can say whatever name they want.
The father can. If he knows it's them and he has evidence, he can totally out them. I'm surprised he didn't find that boy and beat the shit out of him.
im certain the dad wants to go postal on the bullies + their fam but he's got 3 kids to feed, too much to lose, & he's lost too much already
I wasnt thinking of vigilantism like some commenters are, nor of naming names. I was just thinking that if this was my kid, and I saw a FB message of condolence from someone i knew was a bully, or a parent I knew who talked shit, I'd reply back to them and mention that and tell them to f off.
It used to be that when you left a school that was usually it, but now the bullying follows you no thanks to social media. I know a young lady that was bullied at school and she moved, but she was still harassed constantly online.
Not to sound insensitive but why wasn't deleting social media an option?
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7th grade teacher here. Bullying no longer takes place in schools the way the tv shows or movies you grew up with depicted it. Bullying takes place online. Snapchat is the worst thing you can possibly give a teenager access to. An IM service where you can send whatever you want and the message auto deletes after it’s read? That is bully paradise right there. I see it every single day with students. I’ve personally pushed the issue and got one student expelled and an upcoming trial date after he reached over the divider and used his phone to take a picture of another student on the toilet. Guess where that photo circulated? Snapchat. If your kid has 24/7 access to a smartphone and social media you have given their bullies access to them 24/7. And teens this age are at a stage in their lives where they are information sponges related to the social hierarchy and their place within it. Most of them Will. Not. Be. Able. To. Resist checking those messages, even if they know the content will make them feel like shit. Students getting beaten up? That happens off campus, but bullies always have a posse and somebody is always recording. Those videos get disseminated and come to the attention of the school. They hand out a middling punishment because now you are on the shaky ground of punishing students for off campus behavior, and bully kids have bully parents that like to use legal action as threats. Those videos still get passed around. If you grew up before the age of 12 year olds with smart phones try to remember what it was like when you were 12. Thinking everyone saw anything embarrassing you ever did, every flaw you had is pointed out and secretly mocked, when I was 12 that was all in my head. For this generation that’s a reality. Remember middle school dances? Everybody standing in a circle during the songs and seeing who would be brave enough to dance in the middle. Same thing still happens except now every single kid on the edge of the circle has their phone out, Snapchat up, and waiting to video anyone in the circle. All social media is terrible for teens, but Snapchat and it’s ilk are true abominations.
Remember that when you hear schools proudly tout that they have a Zero Tolerance policy towards bullying it’s all bullshit. They do whatever they need to do to avoid lawsuits.
My experience with Zero Tolerane policies was getting detention/suspension because someone walked up and punched me. Multiple times. Once it happened right in front of the Vice Principal. He was looking right at me, within arms reach, as I was minding my business walking towards the door at the end of the day and some kid ran up and punched me in the face. I got suspended for that.
I had the same thig happen to me- bully gave me a bloody nose and ruined a new shirt in front of a teacher who did nothing. My mother gave him Holy Hell for that the next day- called him out in the office in front of the Principle. The bully never had any detention or anything happen to him. I got treated like hell by the teacher for the rest of the school year.
Zero tolerance towards the awareness of bullying, rather than the act of bullying. Nothing but PR.
"zero tolerance" is just a fancy way of saying that both victim and bully will get punished, and if it happens too much then they'll throw you out because "we have a zero tolerance policy". And that's if they decide to do anything at all instead of either ignoring it, or even encouraging it.
Edit: Original post linked an article detailing how the girl had been bullied by other children relentlessly for years both in person, online, and via phone. Coming home with injuries and obvious signs of abuse. Her parents were actively trying to protect her to no avail. ......... Had to scroll down way too far to find this. Reading that story I asked myself "Why didn't they switch schools?" *They did and the bullying continued.* Then I asked myself "Why didn't they homeschool her?" *They did and the bullying continued.* These parents tried everything to create a safe space for their daughter but the reality is there is no safe space for kids today. The bullying follows them home online. What a horrible situation.
If anything I would assume a large quantity of bullying *is* online/social media. I don't actually know though and sadly that implies no where is safe. Ugh to be a kid today with everything on top of rampant social media... at least when I was young the bullying stopped when I left the playground that day. Today kids never *really* leave the playground when the bullying follows them online. How incredibly sad 😔
> These parents tried everything to create a safe space for their daughter but the reality is there is no safe space for kids today. The bullying follows them home online. What a horrible situation. It's why every parent needs to learn how to use, monitor, and care for all things pertaining to their kids online. You can't rest on laurels when it's possible for bullies and predators to get into your house via the internet.
Doesnt even matter if the target themselves are online. If i was a cyber bully it would be the same as when i was bullied as a kid. Im not going to directly attack the individual. Mercilessly attack their reputation regardless of truth. That way they get to have zero friends. Oh they are not on social media due to the bullying? Spin rhat as they are trying to lie low as the shit i am saying about them is true and they have no defense against it so they are trying to hide from the truth. Its very easy to get most people to believe a negative, and its impossible to disprove a negative.
Yeah I had a friend who had facebook groups made about her that her bullies were all in where they'd talk shit about her and spread it around. Obviously, she wasn't in the group. Even if she hadn't had facebook, it wouldn't have stopped them.
Damn. Was I too self-involved to be a bully in high school? I literally couldn’t imagine giving that much of a shit what someone else did that I’d make a whole group about them.
Turn off social media.. that is the only way to be free
That's a more effective solution when you're living your own life anyway, rather than part of a group or community where everyone else is using social media to talk about you.
Then they just hear about the bullying second hand the next day, and it's not much better. Or so I've heard.
If they switched schools and she was still getting that level of bullying then there's a way bigger issue than just bullying.
Perhaps a kid with a long history of being bullied would develop stunted or abnormal social skills and therefore be a prime target for more bullying in another school. I knew plenty of awkward social outcasts in school, and I don't think everything would magically become normal if they switched to another one.
The original bullies could’ve had friends in the new school or reached out to kids attending. I don’t remember the name of the girl, but it has happened before
My daughter has a bully at school who was just suspended for bullying. Today the bully sent her friend to bully my daughter in her stead.
Lol wtf, is there some child bully version of Uber, Uber assholes, just sends someone to ruin someone else's day...? Seriously though I hope your daughter gets the help she needs. Please advocate for her and don't let those little turds get away with that.
Needs to be higher since half the thread is accusing her parents of beating/molesting her
This is the article that should be circulated, not the dribble from kake.com. This tells her story much better and isn’t defending guns or being political. A young girl was bullied into suicide by shooting herself. That is the only thing people should be discussing. Despicable article at top, great article here, so thank you u/generic230
>not the “dribble” from kake.com Do you mean [drivel?](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/drivel)
The parents of the children that did this to her are the worst people. They have filled their children with ugliness, and they focused all that on a single victim.
Everyone’s out here blaming the parents. Jesus Christ. Heartless people assuming the worst with no evidence. Reddit sucks sometimes
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But the lawmakers are concentrating on the important issues: „Kansas lawmakers say guns shouldn’t be blamed in spiking youth suicide rates.“ 🙄 This is fucking insane.
School admins should be charged with manslaughter at the very least. So should every single kid who bullied her.
> “My daughter would come in covered in bruises and stuff like that,” he said, detailing how one girl dumped rubber cement in his daughter’s hair as other students watched, while another encouraged her to cut herself. Townies are fucking psycopathic.
Man i grew up in a small 3000 person town and yeah it's fucked up. The kids were ruthless. I was bullied for a time. They would literally steal my shit, steal my money, make fun of me daily. My parents were from a big city, we all moved when I was younger. I never joined the sports teams and my father always encouraged we play around with the internet and games, as he felt it was the future and we should learn to code and use tools like that (hey it worked) I once got beat up because a kids computer got a virus and he randomly assumed I did it somehow. The only thing that stopped it, I learned years later, was my father who got extremely aggressive with the parents. He beat one of the parents up and hired people to literally harass other parents daily at work until he heard there was change in their kids. I also learned he was 'connected' around that time so I simply lucked out of that one. Thank you dad. I feel for those who don't have any way out or a ruthless defender. The townies parents are all fucked up too. It's nearly encouraged. Be tough. Play hockey. Cause trouble. Towns that small are just a community that all grew up together for generations. The adults all know one another. They know the teachers, they know the police. Being shitheads to outsiders or some of the kids was the norm. And the kids lives at home are usually bad too.
My high school bully was the daughter of our town's police chief. I didn't stand a chance.
I posted it some time back, but how do kids get this way. It’s ridiculous.
It’s all learned behaviour, added with no personal consequences for their actions. Might only take one or two kids with dogshit parents to start internalising the cruelty and the evil inflicted upon them as something to inflict upon others.
Pick on the weakest.. then she probably had an even weaker demeanour and it becomes a vicious cycle. Everyone wants to look tough and the weakest is the easiest option knowing you're not likely to have any come backs from them.
shit parents. this is learned/encouraged behavior.
Those fucking kids are monsters. Abhorrent monsters incapable of functioning in society and deserve to be locked away or exiled. I can’t believe that this girl changed schools, taken out of school to be homeschooled, and even when enrolled in online classes and when not anywhere in the vicinity of school, was STILL bullied, harassed, *sexually harassed*, physically assaulted, had her money and AirPods stolen, and driven to suicide. Goddamn, this is the kind of shit that always made me never want to live in a small town, especially in the Midwest… but even this is still so much worse than I could’ve ever imagined.
Of all the apes, humans are the worst.
That's so sad. Makes me wonder wtf was happening to her at home.
Many years ago when I was young, I was hanging out in an area where homeless youth tended to also hang out - I met several kids who had run away and many of them had legit reasons for doing so. I met kids with permanent scars from child abuse, broken bones, and stories of being locked in closets for days. There's so much abuse when it comes to kids, especially in those awful group homes.
Not to mention familial sexual abuse, which is a lot more common than people in our society want to admit. I know a woman who was pimped by her parents in order to pay for meth. She ran away at fifteen. The police tried to get her to go back to her pimps--they didn't believe her at all. she ended up living homeless for a couple of years until another friend's son let her crash at his place--they are now married with two kids. Her parents were murdered a few years ago.
> Not to mention familial sexual abuse, which is a lot more common than people in our society want to admit. The most depressing statistic that I ever learned is that on average it takes a child reporting sexual abuse to 3.1 adults before they're listened to and the report is acted upon.
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Any 14-year-old with access to a gun indicates that there is a serious concern at home.
Or she's being abused out of the home and doesn't want to leave her 26 year old boyfriend. So many ways for teenagers to be manipulated and abused.
Either way, worthy of an investigation
There is no mention of any 26 year old in the article. Where are you getting any of this from?
[This article](https://nypost.com/2023/09/25/schoolgirl-who-fatally-shot-herself-in-front-of-deputy-had-been-bullied-for-years-family/) talks about a 20 year old guy she was attending the party with. In no universe is that a good sign.
Also what’s a 20 year old doing with a 14 year old. Issues all around.
20-year-olds that like to spend time with 14-year-olds mostly do it for two reasons. Stunted development is the less damning.
I wonder this too. She deserved more than the sum of her experiences there. I hope she has some peace now, she was much too young to be leaving in such a manner 😭
Possibly something awful... but there's no guarantee. Maybe it was school. Maybe it was online. Maybe she was just sad... being a teenager is fucking hard and I imagine these days it's way hard than it was for me (early 2000s).
Something worth investigating, but also possibly she was just depressed. Maybe her parents are stellar examples of what to do and she feared they'd take her back to a psych ward. Of course, that's how I'm seeing it through the eyes of a parent of a teenage daughter that tried to end herself in January and has been in the psych ward three times this year. I imagine what could have happened if I'd have slipped up even once. Every day, multiple times a day, I make sure the kitchen knives are in their lockbox, her sister didn't leave a razor out in the bathroom, my tools are all locked up in the garage only I have a key to, all medicines are in the safe in my bedroom, she didn't come home with anything she can hurt herself with. It's fucking awful and it's terrifying and I wish it on no parent. My job is to protect her, but that is infinitely harder when she's her own danger. So, like you, I'll reserve judgement. Sure, it's possible her home life was tragic, but I'll wait to speculate on the cause. And as much as people like to shit on cops, myself included even coming from a family loaded with them, I can easily imagine that this officer is dealing with some big feelings about this too. A lot of first responders have soft spots when it comes to children, even the shitty ones
According to [this article](https://nypost.com/2023/09/25/schoolgirl-who-fatally-shot-herself-in-front-of-deputy-had-been-bullied-for-years-family/) the parents say she was badly bullied over the past year and was turned on and gossiped about by former friends and their parents. Apparently she ran away to go to a party and it was very late at night. Honestly, if you're already depressed and having social difficulties and then the police show up to take you home in front of everyone at the party -- it would be a low point even if your parents are angels. The humiliation would overwhelming. Poor kid. Whatever happened here, it's so unfair that she didn't get her chance at life.
I don’t disagree, but I do wonder why she brought a firearm if she didn’t have expectations of needing it
Contingency planning.
According to the article the girls bullying her were threatening to kill her so I’d assume cause of that
Me too, a parent of a daughter who tried to kill herself several times. You can try to hide everything, all it takes is a rope or a building to jump off. Ours tried to drown herself. The cops found her, called us and were very very helpful and patient. I know that's not the usual story people hear about. They got her to the psych ward..she went back a couple times. It was scary but finally the last psych ward stay (a month) worked as well as them finding the right combination of drugs for her, a Psychiatrist who took loads of extra time to talk with her. They all literally saved her life. She is back to herself and thriving.
Rough. I'm hoping third time is the charm here. Seems like we finally got it right.
Hey, I went through what your kid is going through, having all stuff like that locked up & looking back, I know it was for the best & that it was to protect me but just be aware that it can really make her feel like a little kid. I'm not saying to stop being careful, not at all but just really listen to her & if she says or implies that she feels like a baby or like she can't be trusted, just reassure her that you know it's whatever mental illness causing this & that it's not punishment. Even if she doesn't understand, right now, I believe she will come to understand it, eventually. I am truly sorry that your daughter is dealing with this & I hope she finds the treatment that works for her, with as little trial & error as possible. & you should get some therapy for yourself because it's gotta be gutwrenching to watch her go through this. My parents told me that getting the phone call that they needed to hurry up & get to the hospital to say goodbye, was the most terrified & helpless they'd ever felt so I think anyone that has recently dealt with something like that, could benefit from seeing a therapist & getting it out.
Dad is claiming extreme bullying but then why tf did he allow a vulnerable child access to guns? Ridiculous.
We don't know that he did.
Um it's kansas.
Right. When I go to the article I get a prompt to read another article about “Kansas Republican lawmakers deny state gun laws linked to skyrocketing teenage suicide rates” This poor child.
Today on irresponsible gun owners.
Man, that is a messed up situation. I'd be curious to what was happening at her home, for her to do that. Or if she had a history of mental health problems. I worked for an insurance agency in the early 2000s... One of our reps was on the phone, and she let out a scream and collapsed. Her son, who was having mental health issues, called her at work and committed suicide while on the phone with her.
Christ that is heart breaking. I can't even begin to imagine what she went through. I am certain though her life after that was never the same. I can recall, some time back looking at a video of a gamer who was streaming. He was gaming in his bedroom and you can hear him and his friends talking. Then from somewhere in the house you hear a loud bang, and the sounds of some women screaming. He then jumps up and runs to the back, then returns and quickly says, his brother has committed suicide, and he has to go. It was so surreal to watch that in a real-time setting. It takes you out of whatever fantasy world you were in with that game, slamming you into reality at such a fast pace.
That's heartbreaking. I hope he is doing well these days.
While I do not know him, I too hope he is doing good, I was just an outside observer watching him game, but for that brief moment it felt like as an observer you were pulled into his family and it was heart breaking. I wish that both he and his family can get some form of healing after what they've experienced.
One day I was walking down the street when I heard the most blood curdling scream. I literally thought to myself it sounded like someone who had just witnessed a murder. Turns out a girl and her bf were arguing and he shot himself in front of her. I think about that girl often and really hope she got the therapy she needed after that.
`called her at work and committed suicide while on the phone with her.` My ex girlfriend did this to me. It wasn't my child but I grasp her pain. It's surreal and shattering.. We loved each other so much.
Sorry you went through that. I had a similar situation, though not quite as direct. I got a call on my way home from work one day. Nobody said anything, but I suspected it was my ex. They hung up after ~10 seconds, and I tried calling back, but no answer. It wasn't until a month later that I found out what happened that day.
I’m very sorry for your loss.
About 5 years ago, I was working at a call center with my friend and her fiancé. I was sitting next to him on the computer, just a normal day. His phone rang and when he picked it up it all I heard immediately was just so much screaming. It was his mom after finding out his brother had taken his own life. The worst most horrible part is he had ANOTHER brother who had taken his life years before. So two brothers, two sons. The funeral was a lot.
Got this from another site. >The family of the teen say she suffered severe bullying at two different schools in the area before her death >A bullied teenager died in her father's arms after disobeying her parents to attend a party before shooting herself when cops tried to bring her home. Sounds like she got bullied at two schools. Finally found a school where they invite her to a party. And her parents forbid her to go. Shit like that can trigger a teen *hard*.
Bullying and helicopter parents is a TERRIBLE combination. The only people who can keep you safe suddenly feel just as restrictive as the bullies, and you begint o feel like you have nowhere to go.
>Bullying and helicopter parents is a TERRIBLE combination. The only people who can keep you safe suddenly feel just as restrictive as the bullies, and you begint o feel like you have nowhere to go. I'm not sure forbidding a 14 year old from going to a party with a 20 year old counts as helicopter parenting.
I was working at 911 and got to listen to similar things, but they weren't from people I loved. I can't imagine how horrific that would be. (It was bad enough hearing others go through it). (I did take the call when my uncle had a heart attack)
unbelievably tragic. she was bullied. i fear for every child that suffers through being bullied just trying to go to school every day. absolutely breaks my heart and soul
I had a horrible home life and being bullied at school made everything so much worse. I really feel for this poor girl 💖
The in-article link is probably not the most sensitive thing to have in the report. "Kansas lawmakers say guns shouldn’t be blamed in spiking youth suicide rates"
> “Kansas lawmakers say guns shouldn’t be blamed in spiking youth suicide rates" Based on [nothing](https://www.kff.org/mental-health/issue-brief/do-states-with-easier-access-to-guns-have-more-suicide-deaths-by-firearm/) but their uneducated opinion on the matter I’m sure.
Thing is, conservatives don’t understand those studies.
It's not a lack of understanding. It's cruel indifference - sometimes even sadistic glee.
If I had access to a loaded gun I would be dead now. I knew my dad kept a loaded gun in his closet. The gun I put to my head and pulled the trigger on was not that gun, and I didn't realize it. My brother had put his unloaded gun there because he was having marital issues and thought it better it be out of his home, and that was the gun I found. I found bullets, but I didn't know how to load it. (they didn't go to that gun anyway.)
I'm happy you're alive I hope you're doing better now
Seems like a perfect link to have. People should see that our representatives don't give a shit about the gun crisis
I saw a TV show where a foster child jumped off a building when prompted to return home. It was later revealed that the foster home was a sexual abuse ring. Makes you wonder what that girl went through.
Former foster kid here. I was raped, beaten, or abused in other ways by every single one of my foster family’s.
I'm so sorry. I hope you're in a much better place now.
This makes me sick. Growing up, I knew of a couple of families that only fostered for the money. It wasn’t until I was much older that I realized they weren’t rare. It’s disgusting. I would foster in a heartbeat if I could get my husband on board. I’m so sorry for what you went through. You deserved so much better.
This is why I know I want to be a foster parent. I’m 27 right now but i deeply feel it’s my life’s purpose to take care of children that already exist. My father sexually abused my 12 year old nephew when I was 15. I know how dangerous people and this world can be and want to do whatever I can to make kids feel loved and safe.
I feel this so much. I’m currently learning about how to become a foster parent. I have a family but they were abusive too and you want to give that love and trust you never had.
Absolutely. We need more people like you. I was considering possibly doing it when I get to 45 or 50, because of this. Just solely to help those kids avoid something like that. I don't think I want kids of my own, but I would like to help a kid or two who is stuck in the system. I have two siblings. Myself and one sibling stayed with the family, but the oldest was given up for adoption due to my mom being young. Me and my sibling had a really bad childhood but my adopted sibling had an amazing life with loving parents. Ended up having a great career and a loving family. The difference that the home environment makes is so astounding. There's a good chance you could *really* affect the trajectory of some kids' lives if you foster or adopt. Even if it's a decade or two away from now.
So, I had a chaotic childhood, but I was never abused. My dad was a deadbeat addict for my younger years, so I bounced between living with very supportive and loving family members. I moved around my hometown a bit, but I was always cared for and looked after. Anyhow, I've always wanted to foster. I figured out by high school that I didn't want kids and it didn't take much longer for me to realize fostering felt like the right option for me. Like, obviously my childhood wasn't stellar, but I can't imagine going through that without my family having my back. P.S. my dad has been clean for over a decade and we are super close. Addiction does nasty things to people
Reading the article answers that question.
You should read the article. It gives pretty gruesome details of what she had been going through...
You could just read and find out. It was bullying, not her home life.
It does, but also imagine what the family might be going through if there wasn't abuse at home
Well at least now they have a reddit post full of people accusing them of sexual abusing their child. Im sure that's comforting.
Seriously. We know nothing and yet the top 15 comments either strongly insinuate or outright accuse the family of abuse. Reddit never learns.
She was being mercilessly bullied and her parents seem to have done all they could to stop it. But good that you've accused them of sexual abuse with no evidence whatsoever. Thanks for your contribution.
Jesus Christ. I know the family, I used to live in Clay Center, KS. Absolutely heartbreaking.
I'm sorry for your loss. It must be hard to see this. I hope you learned the sad news from a loved one and not Reddit.
Jesus Christ kids are so fucking ruthless. Poor girl. Poor fucking kid man. So much pain in this world.
That a really long article for not explaining how she got the gun.
Pretty important detail to miss.
That would probably be my last day on the force. Seeing a 14 year old kill herself in front of me would be something I'd never recover from. I can't imagine how the parents feel right now.
Wish I never clicked this news article. This child reminds me of me growing up, not the best upbringing and always thought about offing myself at such a young age just because I wanted out. This poor girl, it really makes me wonder.
I'm glad you stuck around.
Same. I felt trapped with nowhere to go. I tried running away a few times but was too soft for the streets.
Reminds me of POD's Youth of a Nation. "Kinda hard when you ain't got no friends, he put his life to an end, you might remember him then. Crossed the line and there's no turning back, he told the world how he felt with the sound of a gat." Song came out 20 odd years ago and here we are, still with kids tortured into suicide.
deranged outgoing domineering abundant chunky screw unused shelter squeamish advise *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Did no one read the goddamn article?! Wait, of course not, this is Reddit. The problem wasn’t her home life, it was school. Sure there may have been additional issues at home, but at school she was physically and sexually assaulted, and after her family pulled her out of school she was harassed and sent death threats online. She shot herself after running away from home and attending a party with a 20 year old. Sounds like that’s where she probably got the gun. The family talked to the school, took her out of school, and put her in therapy, it really seems like they were doing their best. Stop jumping to blame them. Edit: I confused the article OP posted with one posted by another user that made it to the comment. Stop upvoting, I’m wrong.
AURORA, Kan. (KAKE) - Authorities in north-central Kansas say a 14-year-old girl fatally shot herself in front of a deputy who was trying to convince the teen to return home. The Cloud County Sheriff's Office said a local resident called around 11:30 p.m. Saturday to request help locating the teenage family member. She was believed to have run away from home and was attending a party in rural Aurora, Kansas. A deputy responded to the outdoor party near 210th and Lark roads that was attended by high school and college students. "The deputy located the girl, and tried to convince her to return to her family," the sheriff's office said in a release. "He was escorting her to his patrol vehicle, when she pulled out a firearm and shot herself." The release said the deputy did not draw his weapon. The deputy and an off-duty firefighter attempted lifesaving measures, but the girl died at the scene shortly after midnight. Kansas lawmakers say guns shouldn’t be blamed in spiking youth suicide rates Multiple partygoers witnessed the incident and offered interviews. The sheriff's office requested the assistance of the Kansas Bureau of Investigation "to ensure impartiality since their deputy was present during the shooting." A GoFundMe has been established to help the girl's family. If you are having suicidal thoughts, please get help immediately. Go to a hospital, call 911 or call the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988. That's the article. Where does it say anything about her school?
Yah the title seems to indicate the home was the problem. The parents were trying, it was peers bullying her to suicide.
When kids run away people need to wonder why. So sad.
That gofundme account should be used to first determine why she thought killing herself was better than returning home.
The comments in this thread are wild. This is one of the most random suicide stories I've read. How would a cop even intuit that this could happen? How would anyone have prevented this in the moment? And why are so many people here convinced the reason she did it is because of [insert wild accusations here]???
A lot of jumping to conclusions here. A person can be suicidal in a completely health/loving environment. It's why people are shocked when rich and/or famous people take their own lives because "omg that had it so good". You don't know anything about what's going on in someone else's head. It of course could be abuse or something that led this kid to do that and for the sake of the other kids it should be looked into. But speculation is dumb when it comes to suicide.
My god that’s absolutely tragic Makes me wonder what was happening at home that helped bring her to that point. We already know there are deep societal issues In America that need addressing. My heart breaks for that young girl and that deputy that will no doubt be scarred for a long long time. RIP young one ❤️
Why does every comment assume something going on at home?
Because nobody on Reddit ever reads the linked articles.
Even kids with loving homes sometimes kill themselves.
If that poor girl had siblings, that family needs to be investigated thoroughly. Even if not, but especially if.
She was being bullied by schoolmates
The fuck? There is literally a link saying she was mercilessly bullied for 2 years.. Let’s not add random bullshit internet rumors to the trauma that family are facing.
Can y’all seriously stop blindly accusing people of shit when you’re too lazy to ready ANYTHING on the situation.
4 siblings are left at home. I hope they’re ok.
A related article on this one said >> TOPEKA — Though firearm deaths make up a significant amount of youth suicides in the state, lawmakers on a mental health committee rejected recommendations for gun safety measures, asking instead to look at social media and the internet. >> “We need to focus not so much on the tool as we do the reason,” said Rep. Doug Blex, R-Independence, during the Aug. 24 meeting. “The reason is what causes people to pull the trigger so to speak, and sometimes we get overboard with thinking that if we take away the tool, that’s going to solve the problem.” I’m pretty sure the tool is just as important. Other methods of suicide are much more difficult to accomplish than shooting yourself, and many of them can be stopped before it actually results in death. Hard to stop your brain turning into mush in a fraction of a second.
The fact that enough people don't seem to be able to keep their firearms secure enough to keep children from killing themselves and others on a weekly basis is literally all the evidence needed for stricter gun control, but God forbid we ever actually do anything about it other than act surprised when it happens again.
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This is one of those times I think the officer actually DESERVES a paid vacation.
yeah... this kind of stuff will destroy your life, genuinely. I hope the officer has serious support in their life and seeks mental health treatment immediately. I can't imagine...
This sends a burning heavy feeling into my heart. If I had had a daughter, by the time she would be starting school, I would have moved us to a hippie commune just to avoid bullying and mean people.
Good thing yanks have lots of guns lying around
Questions... i have them.. Facts.. missing.
Very Sad. May you Rest in Peace.
What made her feel death was a better choice than going back home? That's my main concern now. What the fuck brought her to that point, and who the fuck was negligent to allow access to a gun?