T O P

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TrojanMan35T

On purpose?


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derstherower

No no, let them finish.


MrMeeseeks55

I will sign the treaty


Jash09

Mr. President!


thrillhouse416

They thought it was Marty but felt too embarrassed to turn him away


JohnJDumbear

Welcome aboard Marty! I’m Brian. Yes, yes of course. Welcome Brian.


TonyCaliStyle

Janet, call printing. Nothing Bran, don’t worry.


PillaisTracingPaper

I'm Brian and so's my wife!


BaetrixReloaded

** whispers ** *fuuuuuuuuck*


vagrantwade

“We thought you were your dead father” is a tough convo for sure


thrillhouse416

Ironically I get a lot of spam calls asking for my dad who passed away a few years ago. Usually they apologize and hang up but the worst was a lady from sears who didn't even apologize and tried to sell me a warranty on a water heater.


devonta_smith

You don't understand, they're thinking long-term


trebek321

Long term as in already tanking for a high future pick?


Soytaco

Every time one of these guys gets rehired it just highlights the nepotism problem in the league. Like of the millions of people who would be easily capable of competing for that job they're only allowed to higher from a rotating pool of about 10 candidates.


SantorumsGayMasseuse

We see the same group of losers continuously fail upwards in full view of the public. I can’t imagine how bad it is behind closed doors.


sfxer001

I lol’d hard at this.


[deleted]

People meme on him but his offenses ranked 6th, 9th and 8th in SEA. It's not like he was hot garbage


realtrancefury

It was actually the last time the Jets made the playoffs when he was OC. I think that says a lot! 🤣


vizualb

They meant to hire Brian Ferentz.


JaxckLl

This is the kind of energy I was hoping for in this comment section.


NotAGoodRedditor

Every time I hear the name Schottenheimer I think of Eminem rhyming it with Naughty Rotten Rhymer. So that's about how I feel 😐


BSnIA

cursing at your players worse than marty schottenheimer


beerandcheese69

You wacker than the motherfucker you bit your style from, you ain't gonna sell two copies if you press a double album!


Notorious-PIG

Slim Shady LP was a masterpiece.


dshmitty

Admit it, fuck it, while we comin out in the open, I’m doin acid crack smack coke and smokin dope then


ncg1294

Bitch im comin out swingin, so fast it will make your eyes spin


ItsTheExtreme

You gettin knocked the fuck out like Mike Tyson


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MeesterFingers

Just ask DeShaun Holton


dshmitty

I’ll slit yo mothafuckin’ throat worse than Ron Goldman!


armylax20

From “Legacy”: Me against the world so what? I'm Brian Dawkins Versus the whole oh and sixteen Lions offense So bring on the Giants, Falcons and Miami Dolphins It's the body bag game bitch, I'm supplying coffins 'Cause you dicks, butt kiss, bunch of Brian Baldingers You gon' die a ball licker I've been diabolical With this dialogue since '99 Rawkus The whole song uses that rhyme scheme, amazing


NotAGoodRedditor

As a closet Weapon X fan this line made me make the stank face when I first heard it.


albpanda

Don’t worry I get a guilty smirk when I see parsons flip offensive lineman out of the way, watching great defensive players is hard not to like regardless of the team


[deleted]

One of my favorite songs by him


cole8055

Firing Kellen Moore for Brian Schottenheimer is as Cowboys of a thing as you’ll ever see


WxBlue

I remember the burning dumpster that was the Schottenheimer offense in St. Louis. I remember us warning Seattle fans about him and I certainly remember their fans wanting him out after a few weeks of bad football. I have no idea what Cowboys saw in him.


ReaperLP-700

Brains dad Marty gave Mccarthy his start in the league so ya know nepotism.


GoldyGoldy

What’s crazy is that under Schottenheimer, the Hawks had their highest-scoring offense ever. Still wasn’t good enough.


cat_napped1

Moore asked to be let out of his contract. He wasn't fired.


mab6710

Cowboys got their guy


paone00022

They forgot Linehan offense so soon


chesterfieldkingz

Oh man there's a name I forgot. So many hated cowboys guys


YourNameHeer

Can't wait to shit on this decision all offseason and then make sarcastic responses about how I never doubted him or double down how Cowboys gun Cowboy based off results from week 5 of next year


mattalxdr

The NFC East special


BrotherMouzone3

McCarthy is calling the plays and it looks like he's installing his system. Honestly not sure what Schotty brings except maybe ensuring that MM doesn't go too crazy trying to throw 50x/game. Gonna be another weird ass season.


TrustMeImShore

first and run


RestaurantLatter2354

Pretty sure what he brings is a willingness to be an OC under a coach who’s almost certainly fired if he doesn’t make a deep playoff run next year.


[deleted]

The thing people keep forgetting is he won't even be calling plays.


[deleted]

I'll just take some solace in the fact that I also hated the Dan Quinn hire.


Neverwinter_Daze

Get ready for repeated runs up the middle on first and second down!


sweet_chin_music

So nothing will change?


chelseasaints

I think you’ll miss Kellen Moore by about week 4 cowboys fans


OneAngryPanda

Preseason Week 2


OrangeForeign

Week 1 second quarter


TallStephen

21 minutes ago


PoopTaquito

I would've missed him the moment they let him go


Infinite303

Already do, Jerry never fucking learns


Currymvp2

[Cowboys fans right now](https://twitter.com/cjzer0/status/912083184745111552)


becauseitsnotreal

The sect of our fanbase that wanted Moore gone is far to stubborn to acknowledge they miss him


alienbringer

I wanted Moore gone just because he still had to much connection with the Garrett system and I didn’t feel it was innovative enough. I would 1000% have Moore back over shottenheimer though.


itscamo-

It's not the Garrett system, its the Jerry system Listen to him any time he talks on the radio or to the media, he's always talking about feeding zeke and the run game makes this offense go...


alienbringer

Cowboys fans already hate this hire. He is a massive downgrade to Moore.


[deleted]

I’ll say week 2


d4b1do

His last season with the Hawks was pretty good until Russ started to not be able to play against 2 high lol


trexmoflex

In my “what if” brain, I’m now curious how much blame was placed on the revolving doors of OCs in Seattle incorrectly. Not saying they were all blameless but I wish there was a way to quantify how much blame should be placed where now when at the time it felt like it all belonged on the schemes.


chrissurra

Just wait for all the 3 and 5 draw plays. Roughly 30 a game.


Bitter-Imagination33

Bro wtf this guy sucks


BenadrylBeer

Yea bad idea lmao


greenrider04

I disagree, this is a great hire


Trailsuprise

This hire has been approved by the NFC East.


kekehippo

I see no down sides!


InVodkaVeritas

-- literally every team that employed him in the past ...yet he still keeps getting jobs.


WxBlue

I remember us Rams fans trying to warn y'all about this guy. He was terrible.


namethatchecksout_

he was decent for the last season with the hawks


ByronMaxwell

Nepotism at its finest. If only the NFL cared 1/4th as much about blatant nepotism and the "good old boys club" as they do about racial hiring practices. I'll even go a step further and say that nepotism is a far larger reason that there aren't more minority coaches and execs than outright racism.


mr_grission

Nepotism is the primary issue for sure. I fully believe that owners and front offices aren't actively racist in the year 2023. The problem is that if you're hiring based on who someone's dad is, you're accidentally reinforcing the barriers that were put up in past generations.


Reuniclus_exe

I guess we'll find out when Tomlin's kids start coaching.


nemoomen

His oldest son is 23, might be soon. Only 13 years to win the Super Bowl as HC younger than his dad.


DMking

Never make a blanket statement like that about a professional sports league. You are certainly wrong IE look at the Snyderskins and all the mess there


[deleted]

Racial bias can also affect things even without active racism. A lot of picking out a head coach is going to come down to who you think has the best shot of running the team well, and that is greatly impacted by intangible and subconscious factors that aren’t necessarily seen on paper. And any implicit bias that exists will influence that.


adambulb

Yup. Across 32 teams, there is almost certainly a good handful of minority pass or run game coordinators, or offensive position coaches, who deserve a shot at OC. To give it to a guy who is a known loser over them is absurd.


raccoonsonbicycles

I want to see Duce Staley get a shot He's so damn likable


TheCrookedKnight

I don't want Dallas to give him a shot


tuffghost8191

I'm hoping after we inevitably "fail to renew" (fire) Matt Canada next year that Duce is the guy. Loved him and Bettis together in Pittsburgh


DMking

The reason we had to have all these minority hiring practices is Nepotism


metssuck

> Nepotism at its finest. As I tell all of the kids I meet when doing campus recruiting for my company, "the most important thing in your career is your network, figure out how to build and grow that and make it work for you and you'll be successful in your career"


General-Mango-9011

Everyone thought Waldron sucked too and then Russ left. Coincidence?


Electrical-Bread-988

yea I don't get the hate, he wasn't terrible with us. Just pulled this from google: >Over his three years in Seattle, the Seahawks' offenses ranked ninth in EPA per play (0.023) and 16th in successful play rate.


zebranext

Schotty sucked lots of other times in lots of other places too, though.


Soonersorlater

I hate Jerry Jones with every fiber of my being.


horse_renoir13

This is Jerry's World - ya'll just live in it


nemoomen

In the same way that Hell is ruled by Satan, but yes.


milksteakofcourse

I pray for his long life in good health


BLKxGOLD

Amen


Mantis05

Jerry can have any of my redundant organs at a moment's notice. Maybe the non-redundant ones, too.


milksteakofcourse

It’s for the greater good


xepa105

The greater good!


MoreTrifeLife

I know you hate Jerry and rightfully so, but I’ve never understood how there are Cowboys fans who actually like Jerry.


MavsFanForLife

Because he seems like an entertaining dude and at the end of the day it’s just a games that doesn’t affect any of our lives?


MoreTrifeLife

What does he do that makes him entertaining?


flounder19

Salts his McGriddle


merker_the_berserker

This hire is fucking hilarious! There are so many other coaches that child fit and they choose this fucking imbecile. He has to know no one likes this. It's pure entertainment. He's the m night shaymilininiana of the nfl.


MavsFanForLife

I like how he’s out there in the media and how out there he is in within the cowboys community. Like I said, at the end of the day I watch more cause it’s a way to have fun because it’s just a game


2agrant

I don't think it'll matter all too much who's OC in Dallas. That's McCarthy's offense for better or for worse.


FireFlyz351

Yeah McCarthy is calling the plays who our OC is I don't think will matter all that much.


spang714

Haha...we're in danger.


everlong016

McCarthy has had a lot of success calling plays. I'm not saying he's going to be incredible but you could do a lot worse.


TurtleSmile1

For worse. Definitely worse.


BMonad

Exactly, and OC’s coming in know this, so expecting a big name or someone promising wanting to prove themselves just means you don’t understand the situation here.


ThatInception

Well shit lol Seems like this universally loved by everyone not a Cowboys fan haha


TricolorCat

The only worse hires would be Matt Patricia and Joe Lombardi.


Objectivepleb

As a Lions fan, you are correct.


[deleted]

Kinda like their firing of Moore. Cowboys loved the firing everyone else knew he would find an OC job real quick.


MillennialSN

The Cowboys fans that loved it were always delusional. How quickly they’d forgotten the Linehan offenses. Moore was able to generate a top 5 offense this year with 5 Cooper Rush games and an offense that lost Amari Cooper with no replacement. Good for Moore to escape the franchise though, he should be able to thrive in LA


[deleted]

Yeah I’m excited that he’s with us now. Lombardi was so bad this was a great hire for us. Bad OC don’t get you multiple top 5 offenses.


Imperatum15

We're going from a guy who had Herbert 31st in ADOT to a guy who had Prescott 10th in ADOT. What Lombardi did to Herbert was football terrorism


[deleted]

He did his best to turn herb into a potato


TetrisTech

The cowboys fans who wanted Moore gone never really had consistent reasoning why It seemed like they just wanted someone to blame


tjc815

I did not love the firing at all really


ImminentReddits

Def not a universal firing that Cowboys loved. Kellen Moore wasn’t the best OC, but he was better than like 75% in the league imo. Idk what Jerry was thinking.


eaglebay

I really do think it was a mutual parting of ways like the press release said, if not Kellen telling Jerry he wanted out and Jerry trying to preserve a relationship.


HungryGiantMan

That wasn't a firing that was a couple announcing they were splitting up amicably when one of them already had a storage unit lined up


Esuu

That just means it's going to work out for them.


markcantbench

Jerry Jones 200 year plan is coming together perfectly


hunter503

Ironically he'll probably be here for the next Superbowl with his head in a jar, Futurama style. While we all roll over in our graves due to the great disturbance of the cowboys winning the SB.


FlyUnder_TheRadar

Hello darkness my old friend.


hoobsher

Jerry's gone and done it again.


NotSoFakeID

The last person who hired this guy was Urban Meyer Lol


TheRealRoadtoad

Last year of Daks guaranteed money. McCarthy calling plays Schotty drawing up the game plan. Get your helmets boys, we’re going tanking.


ballimir37

This isn’t going to make the Cowboys suck bad enough to get a good draft pick, the roster is too talented barring injuries. This will just reinforce their one and done or just-missed-the-playoffs personality


SiphenPrax

If there was ever a year to finally suck (besides 2020) this is it


shadow_spinner0

Is he run-run-pass like Marty?


d4b1do

He can be if the coach wants him to be it


Superb-Possibility-9

Dan Quinn will replace McCarthy as HC before Thanksgiving


BarveyDanger

then they'll be in worse shape, probably


Luck1492

Lmao


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so_zetta_byte

Let 'em have the laugh for now, though, they'll need it.


sweetnasty887

Mfs really took a downgrade on purpose


[deleted]

Nepo Baby FTW


BarveyDanger

Woof. imagine having McCarthy and Brian Schottenheimer as your play callers (be real, its gonna swap mid season).


applegore

I wanna die


B_P_M

Jets no longer have most comical OC hiring of the offseason


RustyCoal950212

Schottys offenses with Russ (by DVOA): 8th, 5th, 6th Hackett's: 29th Hmm


pisacar_svg

Why does everyone schotty? I thought Russ loved him and they had some good offenses, he just didn’t get along with Pete. Am I wrong?


Electrical-Bread-988

Seahawks fans have always hated our OCs under Carroll. Bevell, Schotty, Waldron before Russ left. It's not based in any objective measure it's about letting Russ cook those years and feeling like it was the coaching holding him back


unexpectedreboots

_IF_ the Jets end up with Rodgers, that OC hire gonna like galaxy brain.


abris33

I wouldn't go that far. Schottenheimer is likely not going to be the playcaller


ipooplogs

His presence alone is a detriment to the team and to this league


OrangeForeign

Is he that bad?


TrojanMan35T

Im a Jets fan and a Georgia grad. Dude is cheeks


jlanders

His work at Uga may be the most damming


1stepklosr

Offensive coordinator for the Jets 2006-2011. Offensive coordinator for the Rams 2012-2014. Colts QB coach 2016-2017. Offensive coordinator for the Seahawks 2018-2020. Passing game coordinator for the Jags 2021. Coaching analyst for the Cowboys 2022. Does that inspire confidence in you?


TrojanMan35T

Also was the OC for Georgia in 2015, the year we fired Richt after the season. 5 of our games we scored 20 points or less, including a thrilling 9-6 victory. I left that game in the third quarter because it was so asinine


jlanders

I left that game as well. Too cold to watch that shit


Eskuire

He still gives me PTSD when he was with us


MiseryTheory

Prepare yourselves for a whole lot of running between the tackles on first and second down and screens/checkdowns on 3rd down. His offense was a major reason the Rams were unwatchable from 12-14, I cried tears of joy when he got fired.


REQ52767

I’m now taking pitches for joining a new team’s fanbase.


OrangeForeign

We're also blue


lemurosity

and haven't been to a super bowl in decades either. good fit!


OrangeForeign

We haven't lost an NFC Championship this past decade😤😤😤😤


chaphen17

Jesus Christ man. How is this your breaking point?


milksteakofcourse

Pass


jand999

Mahomes is from Texas.


tjc815

KC is the next closest team to me. In any case I am bleeding red next Sunday.


Thedurtysanchez

Two words: Justin. Herbert.


Vives_solo_una_vez

See ya


ESCMalfunction

Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.


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jameskeg

HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD


a_toadstool

NFCE get in here


a_toadstool

Good hire


Robot_beepbeep

Martyball is back on the menu, boys.


jeathrow

Lmao Run, Pass, Pass, Punt. Good luck


HowardBunnyColvin

whelmed by this hire


reddbunny1370

Time to rebrand all the Schotty memes from Seahawks Twitter


mrmcbeer

Lol I hate this team


PinkertonRams

LMAO NO WAY I still have nightmares from his offense 10 years ago lmao


OneAngryPanda

On purpose?


xThe-Legend-Killerx

That seems like a massive downgrade


BaconIsBueno

Well I’m fully erect


OG-Omar

This is an interesting hire and with McCarthy calling plays…


UncleTouchesHere

Must be nice having been born into the right family circles. The amount of failure rewarded by continuous employment in professional sports is silly.


WestCoastBestCoast94

LOL


grw313

How does this gut keep getting jobs? Isn't he bad everywhere he's been?


ZachNighthawk

Makes sense, this guy helped the Cowboys win a playoff game four years ago


AdminIsPassword

Little early for an April Fools' joke, isn't it?


MikeTysonChicken

Oh hell yes


[deleted]

On purpose?


jlanders

Holy shit. The worst OC UGA has ever had. Somehow keeps falling upwards after he was fired from a college job after 1 year


prophetofgreed

This a big win for continued Cowboys suffering.


Jonjon428

Lmao that dude from a month ago seriously got this all correct


Patient_Jicama_4217

Seriously??? Are they even trying anymore???


whiskystick

Fuck.


ftwin

This franchise is legit stuck in the mid 2000s


unexpectedreboots

LMAO