“I’ve discovered a large arbitrage opportunity; they’ve capped out the market share potential in Detroit, but there aren’t any teams in New York City. I don’t think fans would mind if we played in Columbia University’s stadium”
Just in: The Texans will be moving to Salem, MO after *Not Jerry Jones & Partners* purchases a 30% stake for $10B. When contacted for comment, Jorry Jenes, the managing partner, replied "There's only enough room in Texas for one team."
Will they be sharing the stadium with the Los Angeles Texans and the Los Angeles Seahawks or will the taxpayer foot the bill for all of them to have their own stadium?
Vikings will need to be rebranded. Its possibly offensive. Every team needs to be a non endangered species animal or inanimate object or something non offensive related to the state.
Teams that will need rebranding:
Vikings, patriots, titans, steelers, raiders, cowboys, jets (based in nyc... airplanes... little close to 9/11), saints, packers, giants maybe, Chiefs
You'll need to download our Get Some Tail tailgating app. Then, simply upload a credit card and turn on recurring billing ($18.99 / month) for unlimited access to be able to secure your tailgating spots ($389/ game) and hours ($29.99/ half hour) anytime you want!
*Parking not included. Please download the Go Park Yourself app.
Let’s add more teams so we can get expansion money, let’s make a different shitty jersey per game for every team and plaster them with ads, let’s let everybody into the playoffs so we get more playoff revenue
900 teams. Football is on TV 24/7/365. The playoffs and Super Bowl are now best of 21, playing three games a day. On TV, 70% of screen real estate is taken up by ads.
>>See what you need to do is split your team into two so that you can have one team that owns the property and one team that provides the services to the first team for a cost so as to be unprofitable and not pay taxes. Then take out huge loans before this whole thing falls apart.
>Ok but how does this help us win football games?
>>Win what?
It would be funny if we pitted all the private equity firm partners against each other in gladiator style combat, until only one remains, then the champion immediately had to fight a polar bear on live television.
Genuinely asking for the experts out there, has there been ONE single benefit to end users/consumers when private equity takes over for any product or service out there in the history of the world? Yes shareholders and executives are happy making bank, but why does that happen? I feel like everything they touch turns to trash in terms of service and quality.
Fuck private equity in general, but since you asked sincerely Ill say probably some property development somewhere? Maybe not the norm, but I bet there is some area that was legit terrible where gentrification actually made things better.
They do get fucked, it’s part of the plan. Andrew Callahan focused on exactly that with his Philadelphia doc. PE comes in and identifies areas they want to develop. They start bankrolling local elections and get police to focus attention away from the area. Crime and drugs (fentanyl in this case) move in and the original residents abandon the area since the police have left. Houses get condemned, businesses shutter with no one to move in. PE buys everything for pennys, bulldozes everything. Pay police to move back and kick out the drug problem. They develop massive mixed use boxes and charge as much rent as possible. Outsiders move in to the new fancy neighborhood, original residents can’t afford it and get pushed farther and farther out of the city.
Philly isn’t the only place it’s happened to. PE means profits no matter what. That’s the wrong way to approach community development.
Actually yes, best example I'm aware of is the Apollo PE firm purchasing Yahoo in 2021 from Verizon and refocusing the company on what it did well (which is Finance and Sports mostly). The user experience and value for shareholders were both, broadly speaking, improved (this is always debatable of course since individual users may have liked aspects of Yahoo that got cut). There are plenty of examples, a lot of failing companies have been rescued by PE when it works right.
PE is not inherently bad, but in the event where shareholder and consumer interests are misaligned it can really screw over consumers. I do think PE firms controlling sports teams is a really poor idea since it will create extreme incentive for short term profit, which already drives a lot of the shitty owner behavior we see currently.
I've made good money in my career working for companies that are pe backed startups.
That biggest downside has traditionally been job security but the big corporations are doing the same thing anyway.
PE makes everything better.
Anyone remember how bengals players used to have bring their own towels because Mike brown would charge them for laundry service?
The NFL better never do another fucking salute to service of have a military fly over or even pretend to salute the American flag if they get into bed with Saudi Arabia and Qatar. Fuck that shit.
I had the exact same thought when the reports came out about the Dolphins owner turning down 10 Billy and the comments were saying how smart it is because there are only 32 NFL teams. Usually when people think valuations can only go up is when they don’t.
Yeah when you have billions of dollars, what else are you going to buy? If I had that kind of money, buying a pro sports team would probably be one of the only big purchases I would make
Well they don’t have to stay crap forever. The warriors turned their franchise from one of the worst to one of the most valuable and successful in the modern era.
I doubt the owners care all that much really. They get to sit there with an incredibly valuable and prestigious thing that only 30 other people and some wisconites own too.
the widespread acceptance of gambling when corporate america runs it versus when a bunch of dudes who’s name ends in a vowel ran it pisses me off to no end. the hypocrisy is absurd
it’s the same thing with pot. oh we can get our cut? oh cool it’s not bad for society anymore
ESPN now has ESPN Bet. The NFL is going to buy an equity stake of ESPN. The NFL is going to allow selling portions of team ownership.
Lukewarm take: it’s going to be the ending of that Cash 4 Gold episode of South Park, but with sports betting, rigging games, and controlling the reporting of all of it.
Its subjective sure, but i'd argue there really isn't anything quite as broadly entertaining as the NFL. Culturally in the States anyway.
I love all American traditional sports and have followed them (pro levels) all to varying degrees over the decades.
Just nothing as enjoyable as Football season. Can be low investment with the weekend or single day per week, as opposed to loads of games for say MLB/NBA. Football can be exciting even for the apathetic.
I think that's part of it's allure. Sure, you can let baseball play in the background and not pay much attention, but there's *so many* games, and they're on varying days and times.
Football is 18 games. Mostly the same date and time. If the Patriots are particularly dogshit, I flip to one of the other games and watch that until my anger subsides.
Baseball is too slow to do anything but halfass watch, Hockey is too fast to only halfass watch. Football requires exactly as much ass and attention as I'm willing to part with for a sporting event. Half.
Football is perfect because you can be any type of sports watcher and still watch. Like to watch it in the background? Fine just wait for the announcers to get hype about something. Need to see every play? That's fine too.
I know there are a lot of problems with the league right now but I don't know how you can look at this current generation of QBs and not think we are in for a decade of highly entertaining football.
NFL literally pumps money out of the ground and they decide they need to do this shit.
Can't think of a single example of something private equity got involved with and didn't make worse- let alone make it better.
I think the funds won’t make the same headway as they have in UK, states side municipalities aren’t bending over like they did in the uk. Manchester punted a bunch of real estate to the uae fund that owns their team in an awfully one sided real estate transaction. The same fund tried something similar in va after buying a stake in monumental and it failed spectacularly. Stadium authorities are still giving way too much cash in my opinion, but they’re reluctant to give up real estate. The last orioles owner held up a lease agreement forever trying to get development rights on the parking lots but the state didn’t budge.
NFLIV
Edit: Looking forward to the irony of singing the National Anthem and saluting the troops before each game while the league is partially owned by the guys the troops are actively fighting against.
Hey we aren't actively fighting the Saudis.
They just funded and planned 9/11 and constantly talk about hating us and Western society and sometimes murder journalists and use their money to destroy our systems and planet like with the Chicago parking meters or growing Alfalfa in Utah with limited water just to ship it to Saudi Arabia to feed their cattle.
But we let them go because their oil money is too important, obviously, so we aren't fighting them. They're "allies"!
Feels like this is a concession to those legacy ownership grorups who want to keep the family business but have to pay off siblings who want to sell the entire thing.
Honestly those type of owners are the one's they should be trying to weed out anyway.
The Bowlen family having so much drama amongst themselves that they had to sell the team is no tragedy in my eyes. If you can't figure out your family shit to that degree, you should be out of the club anyway.
Yeah, but PE can be on another level. At least most owners have some sort of connection to the city/team, PE just sees everything as numbers on a spreadsheet.
And the PE firms don't buy with their own cash, they do a leveraged buyout and load the target company up with debt that the company now has to pay off
Yeah, but the owners usually have a personal stake in their teams. PE equity just sees things they own as assets to squeeze the most amount of money out of. They care about little else.
Owners can make decisions both ways though as well. Sometimes they make decisions that benefit the teams/fans at their own cost, but sometimes they also royally screw over their teams/fans eg Mark Davis.
Yeah, owners are dumb sometimes. But they have to deal with being constantly mocked and ridiculed when their team sucks. They also get to know the players and fans personally. They atleast try to make the team successful.
Yes, but that's also any privately owned company too. When it's one person or a small group, greed really only goes so far. PE firms do everything a normal greedy business owner might do, but to the extreme, because they have to cut the profits up more.
Ads on jerseys, official stoppages to add new betting lines, 24 game season, 7 day NFL draft, split screen gambling ads during live play, Draft Kings sponsored celebrity guest commentators, sponsor themed footballs, Fan Duel branded endzones, 100% publicly funded stadiums.
Tailgate convenience fee, admission convenience fee, kickoff convenience fee, halftime convenience fee, overtime convenience fee…
You forgot sponsored downs. 1st and 10 presented by Fifth Third Bank. 2nd and 5 presented by 7/11. 3rd and 11 presented by Four Seasons. 4th and 2 presented by Five Guys. This punt is brought to you by Capitol One, what’s in your wallet?
On Five Guys Burgers & Fries™ 4th and 2, it's a high snap from the center, and he lets loose a booming Progressive™ punt, right to Patterson, who signals a FanDuel™ Fair Catch™, but the coverage team apparently didn't pay attention, and now there are Pizza Hut™ penalty markers flying.
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We’re about to see about 10 NFL teams turn into a combination of the Pittsburgh Pirates, Jacksonville Jaguars, the fictional version of the Cleveland Indians from the movie Major League and the XFL or whatever it’s called now. Teams will be using HS fields for practice, Planet Fitness for their weight room and Urgent Care for team doctors. They’re be traveling to road games in rented school buses and staying at Motel 6s. They’ll be spending not to the salary cap, but the salary floor most years. And 3-4 home games each year will be farmed out to countries outside the US so fans in the home city will only have about 1 game per month to attend, which probably works out, since a Bud Light will go from $18 bucks to $32 and nobody but the rich can actually afford to go to more than 1 game. These teams will become de facto farm clubs for the rest of the league, as they’ll trade or let every pending FA walk because they don’t want to pay anyone beyond their rookie deals.
*The BlackRock Bears go head-to-head against the Vanguard Vikings this Sunday in America's Game of the Week!*
*Don't forget to tune in this Monday Night to see the NFC West rematch between the State Street Seahawks and the Carlyle Cardinals.*
If Portillos, Lou Malnati's, the housing market, and Foxtrot has thought us anything it's that the NFL is about to be milked dry for record profits above all else and the entire sport will be a shell of what it is today in 8-10 years. This is a terrible development.
It is at this point I ask, “why do private equity groups get to hop into ownership when city taxpayers have basically funded the teams already?”
Why cant we own what we pay for? We could, collectively as cities own the teams WHOSE STADIUMS WE PAY FOR.
TBH, if they approve, which they absolutely will eventually, all you can do is hope & pray. FIFA caved (but they’re basically run by slimy degens), PGA caved, despite still having vastly better product than LIV. Money always wins, RIP to the Bengals staying in Cincy, when you sell to make them LA’s 7th NFL team I want my tax $ back.
God damn it. What'll happen is that the Oil tycoons will invest only in the teams in massive international cities (NY,LA,Miami). Next they will pressure the living shit out of the other owners via bribes/threats to remove the salary cap so that they can buy out all the best players into their teams as they'll easily have more money to do so than the other teams. Players will agree because 1) more money 2) better marketing opportunities in those cities to grow their brand
That ends the competitive structure where any team can win that makes the NFL great all for the sake of short term gains. And it's all because some billionaires had to be even more greedy than they are now.
European club soccer is ruined at a national level because of this shit.
They won’t even need to remove the salary cap. They will manage to circumvent it with the PE firms funnel backdoor money into players through sponsorship deals with their other investments.
I'd have to sit down and do the math, but 30% would allow some to most owners to recoup their entire original investment, which is pretty wild to begin with
Private equity is almost never good. But the NFL is very desperate to keep evaluations higher and higher and there’s only so many big money piles from individuals and corporations don’t seem interested in a cash flow negative asset.
So when the billionaire market is limited you have to turn to sovereign investment funds and private equity. Neither of which are all that good.
Cities need to form nonprofit equity operations and buy 30% of their local teams. Revenues would be great over time, and they could finally stop strong-arming teams to fund stadiums.
Nick Wright mad a good point about the dilution of the meaning of an individual NFL a few weeks ago. Right now, the NFL has America convinced that each game is unmissable, our friends, wives, and girlfriends laugh who aren't NFL fans laugh at us endearingly when we have a "must see" game on a random Sunday, Monday, or Thursday. Wright pointed out that noone will tolerate this now that the NFL wants Chrsitmas too.
I don't know if private equity vultures being allowed into the league will be any more (or less) damaging to the final product than the likes of independently wealthy billionaires or families owning each team except the Packers outright. But in my experience, PE guys don't care about brands at all; absent brands, what are NFL teams except a random combination of freak athletes?
PE idea guy: “do the home games *need* to be in Detroit?”
The Detroit Lions in London doesn’t sound right.
How about the London Lions?
Sorry mate, taken for now. Just have to wait for the original London Lions to go bankrupt
“I’ve discovered a large arbitrage opportunity; they’ve capped out the market share potential in Detroit, but there aren’t any teams in New York City. I don’t think fans would mind if we played in Columbia University’s stadium”
Saints played home games in New York and San Antonio. Precedent is set
Can't wait to watch the Los Angeles Dolphins play the Los Angeles Vikings.
Or the new NY derby: the Giants vs the Titans.
Jets gonna change their name back?
No, they’re busy playing the New York Texans.
Just in: The Texans will be moving to Salem, MO after *Not Jerry Jones & Partners* purchases a 30% stake for $10B. When contacted for comment, Jorry Jenes, the managing partner, replied "There's only enough room in Texas for one team."
Do you *honestly* think Jerry would remember to give a fake name?
Fun fact: The KC Chiefs started life as the Dallas Texans.
Will they be sharing the stadium with the Los Angeles Texans and the Los Angeles Seahawks or will the taxpayer foot the bill for all of them to have their own stadium?
The nfl will be on every day of the week, so they can just rotate sofi stadium around like a blunt.
Taxpayers don't pay for stadiums in California. It's one of the few things we do right here.
*Cries in New York*
Tightens noose in western New York!
Vikings will need to be rebranded. Its possibly offensive. Every team needs to be a non endangered species animal or inanimate object or something non offensive related to the state. Teams that will need rebranding: Vikings, patriots, titans, steelers, raiders, cowboys, jets (based in nyc... airplanes... little close to 9/11), saints, packers, giants maybe, Chiefs
It’s fine we’ll just take off the hard r and be the Steelas
What's up my steela?
“No no, I’m not racist I swear! I have many friends from Pittsburgh!!”
Can't wait for the Tampa Desk-lamps season to start.
I for one am looking forward to supporting the Los Angeles Bed-frames
How could I forget chiefs! You will be known as KC Grills. Sponsored by Weber. Or Big Green Egg.
Yay! Private equity only ever improves industries it takes part in!!!
"oh you plan on tailgating and not just parking? That's gonna be an extra $40"
You'll need to download our Get Some Tail tailgating app. Then, simply upload a credit card and turn on recurring billing ($18.99 / month) for unlimited access to be able to secure your tailgating spots ($389/ game) and hours ($29.99/ half hour) anytime you want! *Parking not included. Please download the Go Park Yourself app.
This is a joke but is a legit possibility
He probably got a job offer from this post.
A sick sad joke
STOP GIVING THEM IDEAS!
Omg this is so on point, do you work in the ‘price gouging and face fucking’ department of The Carlyle Group?
> The Carlyle Group Man, sometimes I wish bills of attainder were legal
Don't give them ideas.
Flood the parking lot with carbon monoxide and sell oxygen tanks and masks.
Surge pricing. That’ll be $400 on game days
Let’s add more teams so we can get expansion money, let’s make a different shitty jersey per game for every team and plaster them with ads, let’s let everybody into the playoffs so we get more playoff revenue
20 game season?
900 teams. Football is on TV 24/7/365. The playoffs and Super Bowl are now best of 21, playing three games a day. On TV, 70% of screen real estate is taken up by ads.
Every audible called out by the QB is actual an ad. “OMAHA, OMAHA STEAKS! HIKE HIKE”
Word for word what I was coming here to say. It’s so reassuring to have them coming on board.
The only thing missing is McKinsey/Bain/Accenture consultants joining the fray to really maximize the shit out of this here game we love.
>>See what you need to do is split your team into two so that you can have one team that owns the property and one team that provides the services to the first team for a cost so as to be unprofitable and not pay taxes. Then take out huge loans before this whole thing falls apart. >Ok but how does this help us win football games? >>Win what?
It would be funny if we pitted all the private equity firm partners against each other in gladiator style combat, until only one remains, then the champion immediately had to fight a polar bear on live television.
Genuinely asking for the experts out there, has there been ONE single benefit to end users/consumers when private equity takes over for any product or service out there in the history of the world? Yes shareholders and executives are happy making bank, but why does that happen? I feel like everything they touch turns to trash in terms of service and quality.
Private equity generally doesn't have shareholders beyond the people providing the private equity.
And oftentimes those people are actually pension funds.
bro i wanna upvote your comment but i despise how you chose your username. I hope you hit every red light while driving for the rest of your life.
Fuck private equity in general, but since you asked sincerely Ill say probably some property development somewhere? Maybe not the norm, but I bet there is some area that was legit terrible where gentrification actually made things better.
That’s a good example I wasn’t thinking of that at all. Probably the original residents of the area get fucked tho
They do get fucked, it’s part of the plan. Andrew Callahan focused on exactly that with his Philadelphia doc. PE comes in and identifies areas they want to develop. They start bankrolling local elections and get police to focus attention away from the area. Crime and drugs (fentanyl in this case) move in and the original residents abandon the area since the police have left. Houses get condemned, businesses shutter with no one to move in. PE buys everything for pennys, bulldozes everything. Pay police to move back and kick out the drug problem. They develop massive mixed use boxes and charge as much rent as possible. Outsiders move in to the new fancy neighborhood, original residents can’t afford it and get pushed farther and farther out of the city. Philly isn’t the only place it’s happened to. PE means profits no matter what. That’s the wrong way to approach community development.
Actually yes, best example I'm aware of is the Apollo PE firm purchasing Yahoo in 2021 from Verizon and refocusing the company on what it did well (which is Finance and Sports mostly). The user experience and value for shareholders were both, broadly speaking, improved (this is always debatable of course since individual users may have liked aspects of Yahoo that got cut). There are plenty of examples, a lot of failing companies have been rescued by PE when it works right. PE is not inherently bad, but in the event where shareholder and consumer interests are misaligned it can really screw over consumers. I do think PE firms controlling sports teams is a really poor idea since it will create extreme incentive for short term profit, which already drives a lot of the shitty owner behavior we see currently.
Bring back Yahoo Answers you cowards.
Glad they are keeping the email part, have had a yahoo account forever.
Now tell everybody how many companies Apollo has skullfucked into the ground
I've made good money in my career working for companies that are pe backed startups. That biggest downside has traditionally been job security but the big corporations are doing the same thing anyway.
Fuck private equity. They've ruined healthcare.
[удалено]
Americans genuinely don’t hate the rich people nearly enough for their own good.
They've ruined the entire American economy. I don't know why more people aren't talking about it.
"Listen nfl owners we all make infinity money, but why not infinity + more money at the cost of team and league integrity?"
PE makes everything better. Anyone remember how bengals players used to have bring their own towels because Mike brown would charge them for laundry service?
Like more seats on airplanes, for instance.
For anyone unfamiliar with how private equity works: https://youtu.be/XK8hpxR_r2Y?si=GwvdMG6H85aRspfc
Wendover is the best and this Video just came out today. Good timing
This is a fantastic video. Thanks for posting it!
Haha yep
This is the first time I’ve ever wanted to strongly side with a dolphins fan. This is the worst idea I can think on.
Annnnnd... There goes the NFL as we know it. Can't wait for that first alcohol free super bowl hosted in Riyadh.
The NFL better never do another fucking salute to service of have a military fly over or even pretend to salute the American flag if they get into bed with Saudi Arabia and Qatar. Fuck that shit.
have you seen Deshaun Watsons recent trip overseas posts? it’s right up your alley (joking)….and honestly his (seriously)
I heard the Saudi's inviting Watson had nothing to do with football, they actually just really respect the way he treats women.
They should stop all of that shit anyway. I hate the phony performative patriotism
I don’t like it either, but military aircraft is cool as hell just from a technology perspective.
Saudi Arabia and Qatar are US allies and Qatar is one of our closest allies outside of NATO.
I hope you guys realize we’re at the end of the golden age of the NFL Edit: Leave this website. never return. Yes I’m talking to you.
I had the exact same thought when the reports came out about the Dolphins owner turning down 10 Billy and the comments were saying how smart it is because there are only 32 NFL teams. Usually when people think valuations can only go up is when they don’t.
He said he wanted to keep it in the family. IMO I respect that
Yeah when you have billions of dollars, what else are you going to buy? If I had that kind of money, buying a pro sports team would probably be one of the only big purchases I would make
And there is a line. I wonder how long until the hawks have a new owner whos name rhymes with shmezoz.
If I were Bezos I wouldn’t care too much about a crap basketball team in Atlanta.
Well they don’t have to stay crap forever. The warriors turned their franchise from one of the worst to one of the most valuable and successful in the modern era.
I doubt the owners care all that much really. They get to sit there with an incredibly valuable and prestigious thing that only 30 other people and some wisconites own too.
There’s a lot to say about Jerry but buying an NFL team and making yourself GM for life is the most relatable thing he’s ever done
Also let's be real, even if the value somehow tanked 50% they're still worth "only" $5 billion. Lol
Realized this after how badly the NFL (and sports in general) is in bed with the gambling industry.
the widespread acceptance of gambling when corporate america runs it versus when a bunch of dudes who’s name ends in a vowel ran it pisses me off to no end. the hypocrisy is absurd it’s the same thing with pot. oh we can get our cut? oh cool it’s not bad for society anymore
ESPN now has ESPN Bet. The NFL is going to buy an equity stake of ESPN. The NFL is going to allow selling portions of team ownership. Lukewarm take: it’s going to be the ending of that Cash 4 Gold episode of South Park, but with sports betting, rigging games, and controlling the reporting of all of it.
its already over, when the you got jack segment turned into evidence in the courts it was the beginning of the end
Brought to you by Fanduel. Use code: JACK for a $25 no sweat bet on any 3+ leg parlay.
Oh we’ve long since left the golden age my dude
The NFL is still by far the most popular thing around so long past is a stretch
Its subjective sure, but i'd argue there really isn't anything quite as broadly entertaining as the NFL. Culturally in the States anyway. I love all American traditional sports and have followed them (pro levels) all to varying degrees over the decades. Just nothing as enjoyable as Football season. Can be low investment with the weekend or single day per week, as opposed to loads of games for say MLB/NBA. Football can be exciting even for the apathetic.
I think that's part of it's allure. Sure, you can let baseball play in the background and not pay much attention, but there's *so many* games, and they're on varying days and times. Football is 18 games. Mostly the same date and time. If the Patriots are particularly dogshit, I flip to one of the other games and watch that until my anger subsides. Baseball is too slow to do anything but halfass watch, Hockey is too fast to only halfass watch. Football requires exactly as much ass and attention as I'm willing to part with for a sporting event. Half.
Football is perfect because you can be any type of sports watcher and still watch. Like to watch it in the background? Fine just wait for the announcers to get hype about something. Need to see every play? That's fine too.
Just because it's popular, doesn't mean it's good. Cries in Man Utd.
I mean I don’t think the NFL is bad right now either. I said it was leaving its golden age not that it was dead in the water.
Yeah but Reddit told me the golden age was over
I know there are a lot of problems with the league right now but I don't know how you can look at this current generation of QBs and not think we are in for a decade of highly entertaining football.
NFL literally pumps money out of the ground and they decide they need to do this shit. Can't think of a single example of something private equity got involved with and didn't make worse- let alone make it better.
The NFL saw the money flowing in the coffers of the Premier League and couldn't resist. Here comes Qatari and Saudi oil money into the NFL now.
This is 100% to get Saudi Oil money. It's shameless
I mean, we already have American Oil, Walmart and Finance money taking over the NFL.
Yeah but Walmart doesn’t kill journalists
Would it really surprise you?
That we know of
Walmart is plenty evil though
Walmart didn't do 9/11. How do they reconcile this with the troop humping?
I think the funds won’t make the same headway as they have in UK, states side municipalities aren’t bending over like they did in the uk. Manchester punted a bunch of real estate to the uae fund that owns their team in an awfully one sided real estate transaction. The same fund tried something similar in va after buying a stake in monumental and it failed spectacularly. Stadium authorities are still giving way too much cash in my opinion, but they’re reluctant to give up real estate. The last orioles owner held up a lease agreement forever trying to get development rights on the parking lots but the state didn’t budge.
NFLIV Edit: Looking forward to the irony of singing the National Anthem and saluting the troops before each game while the league is partially owned by the guys the troops are actively fighting against.
Hey we aren't actively fighting the Saudis. They just funded and planned 9/11 and constantly talk about hating us and Western society and sometimes murder journalists and use their money to destroy our systems and planet like with the Chicago parking meters or growing Alfalfa in Utah with limited water just to ship it to Saudi Arabia to feed their cattle. But we let them go because their oil money is too important, obviously, so we aren't fighting them. They're "allies"!
Feels like this is a concession to those legacy ownership grorups who want to keep the family business but have to pay off siblings who want to sell the entire thing.
Honestly those type of owners are the one's they should be trying to weed out anyway. The Bowlen family having so much drama amongst themselves that they had to sell the team is no tragedy in my eyes. If you can't figure out your family shit to that degree, you should be out of the club anyway.
Does this mean no more publicly funded stadiums?
Lolololololololololololol
If anything it would mean more publicly funded stadiums. PE is all about profit maximization for the smallest group of people.
Isn't that also NFL ownership though?
Yeah, but PE can be on another level. At least most owners have some sort of connection to the city/team, PE just sees everything as numbers on a spreadsheet.
And the PE firms don't buy with their own cash, they do a leveraged buyout and load the target company up with debt that the company now has to pay off
Yeah, but the owners usually have a personal stake in their teams. PE equity just sees things they own as assets to squeeze the most amount of money out of. They care about little else.
Owners can make decisions both ways though as well. Sometimes they make decisions that benefit the teams/fans at their own cost, but sometimes they also royally screw over their teams/fans eg Mark Davis.
Yeah, owners are dumb sometimes. But they have to deal with being constantly mocked and ridiculed when their team sucks. They also get to know the players and fans personally. They atleast try to make the team successful.
Yes, but that's also any privately owned company too. When it's one person or a small group, greed really only goes so far. PE firms do everything a normal greedy business owner might do, but to the extreme, because they have to cut the profits up more.
Woah, let's not be greedy now.
Parking is about to get a LOT more expensive.
**The line has to go up FOREVER.**
Ads on jerseys, official stoppages to add new betting lines, 24 game season, 7 day NFL draft, split screen gambling ads during live play, Draft Kings sponsored celebrity guest commentators, sponsor themed footballs, Fan Duel branded endzones, 100% publicly funded stadiums.
Stop stop stop, the sponsors can only get so erect!
Tailgate convenience fee, admission convenience fee, kickoff convenience fee, halftime convenience fee, overtime convenience fee… You forgot sponsored downs. 1st and 10 presented by Fifth Third Bank. 2nd and 5 presented by 7/11. 3rd and 11 presented by Four Seasons. 4th and 2 presented by Five Guys. This punt is brought to you by Capitol One, what’s in your wallet?
On Five Guys Burgers & Fries™ 4th and 2, it's a high snap from the center, and he lets loose a booming Progressive™ punt, right to Patterson, who signals a FanDuel™ Fair Catch™, but the coverage team apparently didn't pay attention, and now there are Pizza Hut™ penalty markers flying.
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Fuck I hate that all of these ideas seem possible.
Sponsored jerseys scare me. It happened to the NBA, then the MLB. Please please keep it out of my football
I just died inside a little because I know shit like this is coming and it’s gonna kill my love for the nfl
I already hate the nfl and the ncaa, but I still love football. It’s a problem.
Owners loving double dipping with other people’s money
Ofc it’s led by fucking Clark Hunt
Hey now, he’s only worth like 18 billion. The man’s got to feed his family!
Welcome to the NFL, Saudis!!
I was really starting to worry that the billionaire owners weren’t making enough money, so this is really good news.
I can finally cross that prayer off my list every night before I go to bed.
lol holy shit. were so fucked. We thought the greed was bad before.
We’re about to see about 10 NFL teams turn into a combination of the Pittsburgh Pirates, Jacksonville Jaguars, the fictional version of the Cleveland Indians from the movie Major League and the XFL or whatever it’s called now. Teams will be using HS fields for practice, Planet Fitness for their weight room and Urgent Care for team doctors. They’re be traveling to road games in rented school buses and staying at Motel 6s. They’ll be spending not to the salary cap, but the salary floor most years. And 3-4 home games each year will be farmed out to countries outside the US so fans in the home city will only have about 1 game per month to attend, which probably works out, since a Bud Light will go from $18 bucks to $32 and nobody but the rich can actually afford to go to more than 1 game. These teams will become de facto farm clubs for the rest of the league, as they’ll trade or let every pending FA walk because they don’t want to pay anyone beyond their rookie deals.
Man, this is brutal. Private equity drives everything they get their hands on into the ground.
*The BlackRock Bears go head-to-head against the Vanguard Vikings this Sunday in America's Game of the Week!* *Don't forget to tune in this Monday Night to see the NFC West rematch between the State Street Seahawks and the Carlyle Cardinals.*
The NFL is just going to be 31 Saudi Arabian teams and Green Bay
They’ll buy the whole city if they have to and call it Jeddah Bay
I will 100% do the "bitch" thing and move to being a GB fan if the Panthers take a penny of middle eastern money
Get ready to learn Wisconsinese buddy
Here comes the Saudi and Qatari oil money.
If Portillos, Lou Malnati's, the housing market, and Foxtrot has thought us anything it's that the NFL is about to be milked dry for record profits above all else and the entire sport will be a shell of what it is today in 8-10 years. This is a terrible development.
> This is a terrible development. This is Goodell's golden parachute.
Does a guy making 62 million a year need one
> Does a guy making 62 million a year need one Nothing makes you want more money than having lots of it already.
All sports are going that way and it's fucking tragic.
PE brought Portillo's to Florida. It's the one thing I look forward to.
Get ready for sponsors on jerseys folks
Games well and truly gone now
NFL execs looking at all that middle east blood money: damn we gotta get in on that.
DO NOT FUCKING DO IT.
It is at this point I ask, “why do private equity groups get to hop into ownership when city taxpayers have basically funded the teams already?” Why cant we own what we pay for? We could, collectively as cities own the teams WHOSE STADIUMS WE PAY FOR. TBH, if they approve, which they absolutely will eventually, all you can do is hope & pray. FIFA caved (but they’re basically run by slimy degens), PGA caved, despite still having vastly better product than LIV. Money always wins, RIP to the Bengals staying in Cincy, when you sell to make them LA’s 7th NFL team I want my tax $ back.
The end of football unironically
NFL is essentially becoming privately traded stock.
All of a sudden those silly little stock certificate fundraisers don't seem so silly do they
I’m buying two next time around
*mouthful of cheese #PREACH
God damn it. What'll happen is that the Oil tycoons will invest only in the teams in massive international cities (NY,LA,Miami). Next they will pressure the living shit out of the other owners via bribes/threats to remove the salary cap so that they can buy out all the best players into their teams as they'll easily have more money to do so than the other teams. Players will agree because 1) more money 2) better marketing opportunities in those cities to grow their brand That ends the competitive structure where any team can win that makes the NFL great all for the sake of short term gains. And it's all because some billionaires had to be even more greedy than they are now. European club soccer is ruined at a national level because of this shit.
They won’t even need to remove the salary cap. They will manage to circumvent it with the PE firms funnel backdoor money into players through sponsorship deals with their other investments.
Remember when they said they wouldn’t take the Oil money? Yeap, this has “ We want Saudi Oil money.” written all over it.
Private Equity is screwing my industry over royally. NFL is gonna FAFO
Are you in Healthcare too?
Ding ding ding!!!! Lol I see you already know
I’m in public accounting and yup PE has been awful. They’ve been buying up firms and milking em dry.
Going through that right now. It’s awful. I’m in healthcare. These guys don’t know the business and is gutting everything. Sucks
The New York Emirates
Cant wait for Blackrock to invest then call me a bigot
Blackrock and vanguard gotta get their ownership stake in this industry too.
How much money do some people need? Is everything done in the name of acquiring more wealth? Shesshhh.
…. Not the packers
Private equity firms have been the downfall of huge hospital systems. This could be terrible for the NFL
The owners saw their public subsides at risk and realized they needed more powerful lobbyists.
I wonder if anyone in history has ever studied the ever increase desire for ever increasing profit and the impacts on society?
let the enshitifcation commence!
Maybe outsourcing our o-line to India will be an improvement.
Get ready for some MBAs and layoffs
I'd have to sit down and do the math, but 30% would allow some to most owners to recoup their entire original investment, which is pretty wild to begin with
Well this is the end.
Just another fucking thing ruined by capitalism
tangentially related but I think we should consider my proposal that every year anyone with over a billion dollars net worth gets executed
Private equity is almost never good. But the NFL is very desperate to keep evaluations higher and higher and there’s only so many big money piles from individuals and corporations don’t seem interested in a cash flow negative asset. So when the billionaire market is limited you have to turn to sovereign investment funds and private equity. Neither of which are all that good.
Cities need to form nonprofit equity operations and buy 30% of their local teams. Revenues would be great over time, and they could finally stop strong-arming teams to fund stadiums.
Great idea! Just look what private equity has done for healthcare in the USA.
Is the NFL still tax exempt?
Don’t they have enough money holy fuck
Not my Green Bay Packers you bitches. What owner?
This is gonna hurt the product in the long run.
Nick Wright mad a good point about the dilution of the meaning of an individual NFL a few weeks ago. Right now, the NFL has America convinced that each game is unmissable, our friends, wives, and girlfriends laugh who aren't NFL fans laugh at us endearingly when we have a "must see" game on a random Sunday, Monday, or Thursday. Wright pointed out that noone will tolerate this now that the NFL wants Chrsitmas too. I don't know if private equity vultures being allowed into the league will be any more (or less) damaging to the final product than the likes of independently wealthy billionaires or families owning each team except the Packers outright. But in my experience, PE guys don't care about brands at all; absent brands, what are NFL teams except a random combination of freak athletes?
Get ready to learn Saudi
2025 international series, welcome to Riyadh!