Imagine having the opportunity to trade for a QB that could immediately take and lead you to a Super Bowl, but instead you let him go to your division rivals, get knocked out of the playoffs by him, and then watch him win a Super Bowl.
Imagine having the opportunity to trade for a QB that could immediately take and lead you to a Super Bowl, but passing on it because you've got his backup.
All because you decided to go out for the night with your wife while vacationing in Cabo instead of getting on the phone, thinking “I can deal with that tomorrow”…
The 49ers apparently had the opportunity to get Tom Brady in 2020, but as evidenced by Jaquiski Tartt they have a habit of letting opportunities slip through their fingers.
Speaking of alternate timelines, the 49ers were extremely close to hiring Hue Jackson in 2016. The Chip Kelley era was silly, especially because of that "Meerkat" Offense, but being led by Hue would have made us an even bigger joke.
Fun fact: The 49ers are named after the 1849 gold rush, where thousands of people flocked to California in hope of striking it big, only to leave disappointed.
Funny how history repeats itself.
While Shanahan is most known for blowing huge leads, he's never had a quarterback like Trey Lance before. I, for one, am looking forward to seeing the new and novel ways he'll find to blow huge leads this season.
> While Shanahan is most known for blowing huge leads, he's never had a quarterback like Trey Lance before
New method: Never get a lead in the first place.
In 2017 the 49er's traded for the handsome Jimmy G just to distract us from the fact that [their starting TE is Rickety Cricket](https://imgur.com/gallery/UbsPGpd)
Everyone loves to punk the Seahawks for passing the ball instead of handing it off to arguably the best RB in football at the time but they copied your guys homework by refusing to run Frank Gore *at all* on the final drive of Super Bowl 47.
Sadly people break into your car all over the Bay Area including the South Bay where the team is at now. It’s an epidemic all over the Bay Area now and not just in SF proper. Pretty much commonplace to see broken car window glass in shopping center parking lots and shit and wish we did more about it
I heard people leave their windows down and trunks open (obviously leaving nothing inside the car) just to prevent their windows from being smashed. Some people don't even want to steal, they just want to destroy people's property. Bunch of low-life dirtbags.
I've seen it. Once was driving home from work and two Tesla Model Y's were parked in front of a small Asian grocer with their windows down and trunk up. Probably the most Bay Area sight ever
Some people in SF do that, but then they learn quickly that it just makes it easier for the nearest bum to climb in undeterred and take a nap in your back seat.
"The more Jed tries to be his uncle, the more like he is his father" - actual quote from an "anonymous" NFL owner at an owners meeting.
“Culture is huge. That’s the difference between a championship-caliber team and a championship team,” York told The MMQB.
“You look at the Golden State Warriors. They were the dumbest team in
the NBA for letting Mark Jackson go, who won the most games in the
franchise’s history. How could you be so dumb? They bring in Steve Kerr,
who has been around the game for a long period of time but has never
coached before. Kerr changes the culture, comes in with a different
perspective, and look what happens.” - Jed York comparing the Warriors hiring Kerr to he hiring Jim Tomsula
[Jed York Appreciation Day at Levis](https://uproxx.com/sports/49ers-fans-inflatable-penis-jed-york/)
Levi stadium is further from San Fransisco then MetLife is from NYC and is in another state.
Distance between M&T Stadium (ravens) and FedEx Toilet (commies) is shorter then San Fransisco to Levi Stadium.
Ehh it’s like 45 minutes from where Candlestick was it’s not that bad and factoring in the traffic to leave games at Candlestick I actually get home way faster now than I did before. Definitely wish we still played in SF though
The real reason that SoFi isn't Levi's south isn't because the Rams beat you in the NFC Championship game there. It isn't because the Rams won the super bowl there.
It's because SoFi is an actually well designed stadium that won't sunburn you for merely sitting in it, no matter where you sit.
Kyle Shanahan has an impressively deep playbook with a play for almost every situation. Unfortunately, one he lacks is the one where somebody hits him in the back of the head with a folding chair when he's ahead in the 4th quarter in a playoff game so he can't fuck it up yet again.
Trey Lance's 318 pass attempts at North Dakota State are the fewest by any 1st-round QB in the last 40 years; you overpaid to get this guy just because Jimmy G overthrew Sanders by this much
Fun Fact: Denver gave up two 1sts and two 2nds for Russell ~~Westbrook~~ *Wilson* and SF gave up three 1sts and a 3rd for Trey Lance.
More Fun Facts: Rams sent two 1sts, a 3rd, and Jared Goff to the Lions for Matt Stafford.
I once saw play stoppage during a regular season game because of an out of control grease fire. A spark from a malfunctioning piece of equipment on the sideline flew into George Kittles hair.
Kyle:
Can't below a 4^th quarter SB lead if I blow a 4^th quarter NFC championship game lead.
Also I think the secondary was onto an idea.
In the SB we blew the game after an INT. So in the Championship, we thought it a good idea to drop an easy INT.
Lamar really should have gone to SF. You don’t need to run down a tunnel to a toilet to poop there. Could have just done it on the sideline and kept playing
The year is 2024. The 49ers are paying their star WR $25 million a year as they throw for a total of 18 times per game. After missing the playoffs for the 3rd straight year a young San Francisco fan watches Mac Jones throw for 300 yards in the divisional round and looks to his friend as he whispers
"At least we don't have him as our QB, he can't even run fast"
The 49ers have been responsible for some of the most iconic moments in NFL history.
After all,who can forget [The Catch?](https://youtu.be/FtyOxhNzvpA)
And [The Catch II?](https://youtu.be/phDx7XSSD9g)
And last but not least,[The Catch III.](https://youtu.be/rbKys8KoN1w)
Just soak in those historical moments,ladies and gentlemen.
Dont forget the [reality TV star catch](https://youtu.be/IU_UTVgVXOU?t=16). That dude was in the league for all of 40 seconds after winning that "make the NFL" show or whatever it was called.
the roasts work better if there's some truth to them. this one is just too much to be believed. much like the draft capital the 49ers spent on such an inexperienced QB.
Your guys' already happened
https://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/te5a1r/schefter_jaguars_are_giving_former_cardinals_wr/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
I knew a SF fan. He was a fun guy, someone I watched football with even though we rooted for different teams.
He died in season in 2019 so when SF made the super bowl, I had a feeling that it was for him. I mean I knew it wasn't, but you know, emotions and stuff.
And they lost. SF let him down. I was at a SB party at his relatives' place and I kept my annoyance to a minimum and his team let him down and the entire house felt like a second funeral.
Imagine if a team traded 3 first rounders and selected a dude with the 3rd overall pick all while he has barely thrown any passes in high school and college and hasn’t played with inferior competition his entire career?
Then they’re shocked when he’s absolutely not ready for the NFL, and yet, he’s gonna be your starting QB.
I’m not sure I should even roast you. You roasted yourselves this season.
BREAKING NEWS: It is reported that in the 4th quarter of Super Bowl LV, the 49ers were spotted eating a bowl of Rice in the middle of Montana. We have solved the mystery.
The San Francisco 49ers drafted a D-lineman who didn't play most of the 2021 season because of an injury instead of Justin Jefferson with the 14th overall pick in the 2020 NFL Draft.
Did you forget the deal, Niners? You beat us twice a year, no more. This happened because you got greedy and went for three. You were on such a roll, too. The Cowboys did the electric slide, the Packers did the time warp again, but in the end it was the Niners who decided to drop it like it’s hot.
You’re currently paying Jimmy G ungodly amounts to sit there and look pretty. We all know someone else will get him at the last second, it’s just a question of who. It’s like the Bachelor, except he’d probably do better on that show than he would at his actual job. I’ve never seen an episode of the Bachelor where the dude is about to name the winning contestant but instead shits his pants and the girl gets married to Bobby Wagner instead.
Every single player on your team gets injured every single year. What is Shanahan doing at these practices, making the entire team crawl over broken glass and eat salmonella-infested raw meat to “toughen them up?” Oh no, wait, it’s San Francisco, there’s probably a vegan option.
The Hawks are garbage this year, so it’s gonna take some real talent for you to choke to them at least once.
For real, I didn’t even hate the Niners until this sub chanted SAME OLD SORRY ASS RAMS at me every goddamn time. This is how division rivalries perpetuate themselves, I guess. Take that, you losers.
The 49ers play in Santa Clara (not even San Francisco) next to an amusement park. There are fewer sunburns coming from Great America than in Levi Stadium.
Imagine having the opportunity to trade for a QB that could immediately take and lead you to a Super Bowl, but instead you let him go to your division rivals, get knocked out of the playoffs by him, and then watch him win a Super Bowl.
Imagine having the opportunity to trade for a QB that could immediately take and lead you to a Super Bowl, but passing on it because you've got his backup.
stop we're already dead!
All because you decided to go out for the night with your wife while vacationing in Cabo instead of getting on the phone, thinking “I can deal with that tomorrow”…
Levi Stadium seems like something Dan Snyder would pay for.
This is the best burn. Nicely done.
Not as bad as the sun burn you get going to Levi’s
Was about to say
Lol that was good
He’d turn it into Dungarees stadium
The San Francisco Jorty Niners
Dan Snyder’s Tinkertoy set
Oof, yeah this is the one.
The 49ers apparently had the opportunity to get Tom Brady in 2020, but as evidenced by Jaquiski Tartt they have a habit of letting opportunities slip through their fingers.
I will never understand how he didn’t catch that. It was thrown right to him.
He caught Engramitis before the game
Oh shit. Is that fatal?
Fatal to super bowl victories, yes
Ah, the ol’ “Asante Samuel Special”
You're going to wish that it was.
It was fatal to his career with us
Fuuuuuuck you... thats a good one.
They signed Jimmy G hoping he was the next Brady, then didn’t sign actual Brady.
They wanted "That motherfucker" instead of the GOAT
Speaking of alternate timelines, the 49ers were extremely close to hiring Hue Jackson in 2016. The Chip Kelley era was silly, especially because of that "Meerkat" Offense, but being led by Hue would have made us an even bigger joke.
Gawddawmn...this man keeping the tradition of Eagles fans killing roasts alive.
Damn
Fun fact: The 49ers are named after the 1849 gold rush, where thousands of people flocked to California in hope of striking it big, only to leave disappointed. Funny how history repeats itself.
I respect that.
This one wins
Lmao that one is good and is the winner
BRUH
Not sure if you're talking about the 49ers or the tech boom...
My hero
3/32 - the number of completed passes and yards for Lance in his first start
Don’t forget to include the number of designed QB runs up the middle. I’m still baffled by the playcalling that game.
While Shanahan is most known for blowing huge leads, he's never had a quarterback like Trey Lance before. I, for one, am looking forward to seeing the new and novel ways he'll find to blow huge leads this season.
> While Shanahan is most known for blowing huge leads, he's never had a quarterback like Trey Lance before New method: Never get a lead in the first place.
Unironically, I feel much better about games where we trail at the start of the second half.
I think Jimmy intentionally threw picks to keep us close just he could hero us out.... Except for the times he didn't
In 2017 the 49er's traded for the handsome Jimmy G just to distract us from the fact that [their starting TE is Rickety Cricket](https://imgur.com/gallery/UbsPGpd)
oh my GOD, does this mean he's gonna make out with a dog?
What do you mean “gonna”?
[Just gonna leave this here](https://imgur.com/a/gEXImNZ)
Have Kittle, Rickety Cricket, and Jack Dorsey ever been seen in the same room together?
Kittle so strong because he drinks a lot of milk confirmed
He drinks it every morning so he can fight like the crow
CAW!
Oh man, Kittle had two paths in life: Football, or meth, zero in between.
It's an even-numbered year, so you guys are going to fucking suck.
haha. I've noticed this trend. Even years used to be good to SF... 😒
Or you can go the Carolina way and and just stay sucking.
I miss when odd-year Panthers were feared :/
I miss EYBS. Happy for them ending the curse but fuck the Cubs.
Who says “fuck the Cubs”? What sort of eldritch horror are you?
I’m a greedy SF Giants fan who needs championships to fill the void left by the Raiders and Sacramento Kings.
Damn never thought I’d see a raider sf giants fan
1994 MF'er! Oh wait... Fuck me it's been a long time 😥
Even numbered AND we have big hopes about avenging a painful close loss. It's inevitable.
They drafted Trey Lance, they're basically guaranteed to suck.
Sick. We need that first round pick to be stellar.
Nah, just trade with Minnesota.
But the giants are gonna go all the way! …wait what decade is it again?
Everyone loves to punk the Seahawks for passing the ball instead of handing it off to arguably the best RB in football at the time but they copied your guys homework by refusing to run Frank Gore *at all* on the final drive of Super Bowl 47.
10 years later and it still hurts.
That can't have been ten years ago.
Jets legend Frank Gore was on the 49ers?!
Ouch
We ran him a lot and very effectively in the final drive. We simply stopped doing so from 1st and goal at the four yard line. Still pisses me off.
It still pisses me off AJ Dillon didn't get any carries on 1st and goal from the 8 vs Tampa.
After Gore get them inside the 10 yard line, no less. And after Gore had already waved his dong on a TD earlier in the game.
I swear to god that killed a piece of me. He was averaging around or over 5 yards per carry and inside the 5 they ran 4 straight pass plays.
If Kap threw a pick we’d have been memed equally as hard
Levi's Stadium is 42.7 miles from San Francisco, a trip almost long enough to deter the people trying to break into your car.
Sadly people break into your car all over the Bay Area including the South Bay where the team is at now. It’s an epidemic all over the Bay Area now and not just in SF proper. Pretty much commonplace to see broken car window glass in shopping center parking lots and shit and wish we did more about it
I heard people leave their windows down and trunks open (obviously leaving nothing inside the car) just to prevent their windows from being smashed. Some people don't even want to steal, they just want to destroy people's property. Bunch of low-life dirtbags.
I've seen it. Once was driving home from work and two Tesla Model Y's were parked in front of a small Asian grocer with their windows down and trunk up. Probably the most Bay Area sight ever
Speaking of which, when are we roasting the Raiders?
Some people in SF do that, but then they learn quickly that it just makes it easier for the nearest bum to climb in undeterred and take a nap in your back seat.
Dirty Mike and the boys
For 3 quarters in 2019 this team was a Super Bowl champion. Then they forgot how to run the football...
More like Jimmy forgot how to throw the football
They forgot how to play football of any kind lol
I’d roast your QB, but I’m unsure which one to target and then over-throw.
Jimmy G just got a high-ankle sprain reading this comment.
Jimmy g looks more like a Calvin Klein model than an NFL player. All looks, zero competence
When he heard he’d be working at Levi’s this wasn’t what he had in mind but he rolled with it
Better still, he worked at Gillette beforehand
I hear all these rumours about Jimmy G getting with porn stars but he lost the Super Bowl by failing to connect with Emmanuelle.
"The more Jed tries to be his uncle, the more like he is his father" - actual quote from an "anonymous" NFL owner at an owners meeting. “Culture is huge. That’s the difference between a championship-caliber team and a championship team,” York told The MMQB. “You look at the Golden State Warriors. They were the dumbest team in the NBA for letting Mark Jackson go, who won the most games in the franchise’s history. How could you be so dumb? They bring in Steve Kerr, who has been around the game for a long period of time but has never coached before. Kerr changes the culture, comes in with a different perspective, and look what happens.” - Jed York comparing the Warriors hiring Kerr to he hiring Jim Tomsula [Jed York Appreciation Day at Levis](https://uproxx.com/sports/49ers-fans-inflatable-penis-jed-york/)
I'm so happy that new Jed York sticks to drunk shitposting.
Levi stadium is further from San Fransisco then MetLife is from NYC and is in another state. Distance between M&T Stadium (ravens) and FedEx Toilet (commies) is shorter then San Fransisco to Levi Stadium.
Too much smug in SF. Don’t wanna pollute the air on game day.
Unsure if typo, but hilarious regardless
Lol [it’s not](https://youtu.be/cJoGEqZfFDI)
LMAO I forgot about that episode
Can confirm, the air in SF is comprised of 60% smug and 40% shit
Ehh it’s like 45 minutes from where Candlestick was it’s not that bad and factoring in the traffic to leave games at Candlestick I actually get home way faster now than I did before. Definitely wish we still played in SF though
The real reason that SoFi isn't Levi's south isn't because the Rams beat you in the NFC Championship game there. It isn't because the Rams won the super bowl there. It's because SoFi is an actually well designed stadium that won't sunburn you for merely sitting in it, no matter where you sit.
Those weren't socal 49er fans, they were nor cal fans excited to watch a game in a modern stadium.
This is probably accurate
Or freeze your ass off when the sun goes down.
I fuckin love SoFi Stadium. Shits all over our stupid ass generic stadium. I hate Levis with a passion.
Kyle Shanahan has an impressively deep playbook with a play for almost every situation. Unfortunately, one he lacks is the one where somebody hits him in the back of the head with a folding chair when he's ahead in the 4th quarter in a playoff game so he can't fuck it up yet again.
That's just a designed play for Kittle
Jimmy G will end in Kansas City next season. Because 49ers QBs go there. From Montana onwards the unwanted go to KC
DeBerg was the first, if I recall correctly.
The 49ers haven't drafted a franchise QB since Joe Montana.
You need to draft your franchise QBs?
Well, the Bucs drafted our most recent franchise QB
[удалено]
And Denver...
We OWNED you guys in the 90s! Hahaha member that? 🤣 😅😐😕🙁😥😭
Oh yeah. Rough years until that game where Rice didn’t fumble.
As a life long packers fan......ill skip this one...
I mean in the 90s you guys were good. It’s just rodgers can’t bring himself to beat his childhood team.
Trey Lance's 318 pass attempts at North Dakota State are the fewest by any 1st-round QB in the last 40 years; you overpaid to get this guy just because Jimmy G overthrew Sanders by this much
Fun Fact: Denver gave up two 1sts and two 2nds for Russell ~~Westbrook~~ *Wilson* and SF gave up three 1sts and a 3rd for Trey Lance. More Fun Facts: Rams sent two 1sts, a 3rd, and Jared Goff to the Lions for Matt Stafford.
Maybe Russell Westbrook will be better playing for the Broncos than he has been with the Lakers
Russell who?
Imagine if we had Westbrook under center. No idea how good a QB he would be, but I guarantee you we would've seen more checkdown attempts
Fuck no lol he'd have been throwing long bombs or QB draws nothing in between Then balked at reporters when told that he needs to change his game up
That's 106 pass attempts per first-round pick paid by the Niners They could have had Stafford by paying two and condemned the Rams to futility
I mean, we probably still lose if Jimmy ends up connecting
I once saw play stoppage during a regular season game because of an out of control grease fire. A spark from a malfunctioning piece of equipment on the sideline flew into George Kittles hair.
I need you guys to know: If your roasts are too hot, half of our fans won’t show up to this thread.
Just hope none of the burns cause a wildfire.
http://iscaliforniaonfire.com/ Fun fact, I don't think I've ever seen it say no
lol almost as painful as r/DidTheVikingsWinSB
49ers are going to be a better example than public education of why you shouldn’t use your lance without a jimmy.
Uh, no. They're the Marriott's Great America 49ers.
In terms of evaluating QBs, Kyle Shanahan is worse than the Chicago Bears
Wow, that's awful.
Hey it’s not our turn today
Saying you have bad QBs falls under the first guideline of this series
I meant that as a compliment to you, Phyllis, as well as a slight to Andy.
Kyle: Can't below a 4^th quarter SB lead if I blow a 4^th quarter NFC championship game lead. Also I think the secondary was onto an idea. In the SB we blew the game after an INT. So in the Championship, we thought it a good idea to drop an easy INT.
Honestly I 100% forgot you guys were in the NFC Championship last year
what kind of team doesn't even make a championship game?
Friendly fire activated
Lamar really should have gone to SF. You don’t need to run down a tunnel to a toilet to poop there. Could have just done it on the sideline and kept playing
The 49ers owe Jimmy G more money than Bosa owes to the camera crew he paid to cut him out of the Jan 6 footage.
You spent 3 firsts on a QB who can't even throw a spiral.
Trey Lances hairline has more hope than the future of the Seahawks without Russell Wilson
At least we collected 1st rounders to get a shitty QB, not spent them.
Hahahaha fuck you
They could always kick the tires on Colin Kaepernick, I hear he's available.
When your starter is so bad that you kick the tires on Colin Kaepernick.
The year is 2024. The 49ers are paying their star WR $25 million a year as they throw for a total of 18 times per game. After missing the playoffs for the 3rd straight year a young San Francisco fan watches Mac Jones throw for 300 yards in the divisional round and looks to his friend as he whispers "At least we don't have him as our QB, he can't even run fast"
> The 49ers are paying their star WR $25 million a year Still can't afford rent.
He’ll drive in from San Jose
Yes, the affordable city of San Jose.
“But let’s sign his backup hoping he’ll be better, despite being the backup”
49ers love to brag about “Levi South” while needing to buy a VCR player to see those last SB wins
> a VCR player ಠ_ಠ
It's like calling it an "ATM Machine," but worse.
The VCR player plays VCRs, cmon this is simple stuff...
Least he didn't say laser disc.
I’m 26, and I hate how most of our fan base brags about the 5 rings. I haven’t seen a single one of them!
Rams were about to hand the deed over but jaquizzy tart dropped it
As a Chargers fan I can relate to 49ers fans. I know what it’s like for a team to leave my city and play in another city.
The 49ers have been responsible for some of the most iconic moments in NFL history. After all,who can forget [The Catch?](https://youtu.be/FtyOxhNzvpA) And [The Catch II?](https://youtu.be/phDx7XSSD9g) And last but not least,[The Catch III.](https://youtu.be/rbKys8KoN1w) Just soak in those historical moments,ladies and gentlemen.
Why did I click those links expecting to find joy?
Dont forget the [reality TV star catch](https://youtu.be/IU_UTVgVXOU?t=16). That dude was in the league for all of 40 seconds after winning that "make the NFL" show or whatever it was called.
Everyone names their teams historic plays. Ours are just more....catchy
I knew those links were headed to a dark place, but damn
Okay... you broke through the scar tissue of my broken heart. There is literally nothing else that can make it worse.
Rice-a-roni isn't even that good.
the roasts work better if there's some truth to them. this one is just too much to be believed. much like the draft capital the 49ers spent on such an inexperienced QB.
Too far
How fucking dare you
Hold the fuck up.
This is a thing? When is it our turn? Edit: Walked right into that
Here's the secret. Everyday is Roast the Jaguars Day
Week 1 through week 18.
Except for the week they host the Colts
Your guys' already happened https://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/te5a1r/schefter_jaguars_are_giving_former_cardinals_wr/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Your thread is just going to be a greatest hits of all the comments from every other thread on a normal day
What really hurts is playing in 5 Championship games in 11 years and not winning a single Super Bowl.
Imagine boasting about owning a team for 6 straight matchups only to lose the most important one
These 49ers mine fool’s gold. And that gold is Trey Lance
Not going to roast the niners today, San Francisco did a great job honoring Vin Scully last night and that was great of them
I knew a SF fan. He was a fun guy, someone I watched football with even though we rooted for different teams. He died in season in 2019 so when SF made the super bowl, I had a feeling that it was for him. I mean I knew it wasn't, but you know, emotions and stuff. And they lost. SF let him down. I was at a SB party at his relatives' place and I kept my annoyance to a minimum and his team let him down and the entire house felt like a second funeral.
i can't tell if you're an absolute savage or you just don't understand how roasts work.
Imagine if a team traded 3 first rounders and selected a dude with the 3rd overall pick all while he has barely thrown any passes in high school and college and hasn’t played with inferior competition his entire career? Then they’re shocked when he’s absolutely not ready for the NFL, and yet, he’s gonna be your starting QB. I’m not sure I should even roast you. You roasted yourselves this season.
BREAKING NEWS: It is reported that in the 4th quarter of Super Bowl LV, the 49ers were spotted eating a bowl of Rice in the middle of Montana. We have solved the mystery.
Kyle Fucking Williams. Boom roasted.
The only thing stolen more than cars in San Francisco are leads from the 49ners.
A lead in San Francisco goes missing every 37 seconds
Niners fans are the type of people who will bitch about the Wingman needing a buff despite missing 80% of their shots
At least our stadium has the courtesy to not microwave the fans. Just the visiting sideline.
We need to make sure the reddit servers crash in the middle of this so it doesn't end too quickly.
The San Francisco 49ers drafted a D-lineman who didn't play most of the 2021 season because of an injury instead of Justin Jefferson with the 14th overall pick in the 2020 NFL Draft.
Did you forget the deal, Niners? You beat us twice a year, no more. This happened because you got greedy and went for three. You were on such a roll, too. The Cowboys did the electric slide, the Packers did the time warp again, but in the end it was the Niners who decided to drop it like it’s hot. You’re currently paying Jimmy G ungodly amounts to sit there and look pretty. We all know someone else will get him at the last second, it’s just a question of who. It’s like the Bachelor, except he’d probably do better on that show than he would at his actual job. I’ve never seen an episode of the Bachelor where the dude is about to name the winning contestant but instead shits his pants and the girl gets married to Bobby Wagner instead. Every single player on your team gets injured every single year. What is Shanahan doing at these practices, making the entire team crawl over broken glass and eat salmonella-infested raw meat to “toughen them up?” Oh no, wait, it’s San Francisco, there’s probably a vegan option. The Hawks are garbage this year, so it’s gonna take some real talent for you to choke to them at least once. For real, I didn’t even hate the Niners until this sub chanted SAME OLD SORRY ASS RAMS at me every goddamn time. This is how division rivalries perpetuate themselves, I guess. Take that, you losers.
No comment…
The 49ers play in Santa Clara (not even San Francisco) next to an amusement park. There are fewer sunburns coming from Great America than in Levi Stadium.
The Raiders left the state instead of sharing Levi’s
The best part of visiting Levi's stadium is that the crap is on the field instead of on the sidewalks
Y’all lost 3 playoff games in a row to the Cowboys between 1970-72