100%. And we the fan base will feel gutted when it happens but will be even more grateful for a coach who swings big and is comfortable with gut-wrenching decisions
I appreciate that Harbaugh plays the stats, trusts his players, and stands by his decisions.
Yet this comment is spot on and quite prophetic.
Despite all the Ray Lewis murdered someone or Lamar is a rb/can't throw jokes on this thread so far, this roast still has more originality than a Greg Roman playbook.
Ravens in [preseason](https://media1.tenor.com/images/501aeaae8758b0f6c5c7a17d9533ecae/tenor.gif?itemid=14101790).
Ravens in [postseason](https://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/universe-of-smash-bros-lawl/images/4/48/5159875-dragonball-evolution-goku-uniform.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20160818150500).
Goff wouldn't need to be a sex pest with that girl. Rodgers is a harmless weirdo bachelor uncle. Cousins hiding his kinks behind a religious background wouldn't be the strangest thing in the world.
The AFC North is basically:
* The Cleveland Browns 1.0
* The Cleveland Browns 2.0
* The reanimated corpse of the Cleveland Browns
* The Cleveland Browns' historical rival
I'd hate to shit on your parade but are you really gonna make Lamar Jackson the highest paid QB in the league next offseason when he's had more positive COVID tests than playoff wins?
As an Iowa fan this hurts my soul.
Also, since Mike Zimmer got fired I am fully convinced that Kirk Ferentz is a clone of Zimmer or vice versa. They are the same person
I beat the #7 soccer prospect once in the entire country when I was a freshman in HS. It was extremely disappointing to grow up and see him as a mall security guard now. Took the wind right out of everything
We beat the top soccer recruit in our state my senior year. Pretty sure he never went anywhere with soccer either.
It's sad the state of the sport. With America's ability to develop athletes we should be so much more dominant at soccer. It's sickening how the world's game is so ignored.
I am getting kind of sick of these threads about how good the Titans are and we need to respect them, blah blah blah...
The Titans are hoes. On them we shall stunt.
2 points:
The Titans beat the Patriots in Foxbourough. A Patriots team that was slumping, limped into the playoffs, and lost to a legit bottom 3 team in the league (The Dolphins, also hoes) at home, in a game that could have won them a potential bye.
Yes Derrick Henry is a good, bruising style RB. I ask you what good is a game manager RB when you are down 3 TDs?? Tannehill will be forced to throw against a secondary that has 2 ALL PRO CBs.
We are going to destroy the Titans. Our offensive is a fucking buzzsaw. Our defense is stacked and hungry. Lamar is playing better than Jesus right now.
Get it together homies, BIG TRUSS.
I am getting kind of sick of these threads about how good the Titans are and we need to respect them, blah blah blah...
The Titans are hoes. On them we shall stunt.
2 points:
The Titans beat the Patriots in Foxbourough. A Patriots team that was slumping, limped into the playoffs, and lost to a legit bottom 3 team in the league (The Dolphins, also hoes) at home, in a game that could have won them a potential bye.
Yes Derrick Henry is a good, bruising style RB. I ask you what good is a game manager RB when you are down 3 TDs?? Tannehill will be forced to throw against a secondary that has 2 ALL PRO CBs.
We are going to destroy the Titans. Our offensive is a fucking buzzsaw. Our defense is stacked and hungry. Lamar is playing better than Jesus right now.
Get it together homies, BIG TRUSS.
Is this a joke about Ray Lewis that references what he actually did instead of calling him a murderer? Well done, even if it is coming from a Steelers fan.
>So you're saying that Justin Tucker is the best player in the NFL?
There is no other player that dominates that much above any other in the relevant categories.
You can make the argument maybe for Tom Brady but his season stats are not way better than other QBs. And even then it is a discussion. With Tucker, there really is no discussion anymore.
"The way you find out who the Greatest Of All Time is, of all sports, is to look at the number one guy, and compare his stats to whoever number two is, and find the biggest disparity." -Some Canadian youtuber who probably likes hockey more than football
Still of the thinking that this franchise should use the term Unkindness more, because I'm sorry, that's just a badass thing for a group of animals to be called.
Like, it's just begging to be a nickname for our defense if I've ever heard one.
There is no consistent distinction between "crows" and "ravens", and these appellations have been assigned to different species chiefly on the basis of their size.
nah. There's definite differences at a genetic level. American crows are more closely related to old world crows than new world ravens (although they're all in one genus that may change at some point--taxonomy has been in flux for a ccouple decades now)
Here's the thing. You said a "jackdaw is a crow."
Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that.
As someone who is a scientist who studies crows, I am telling you, specifically, in science, no one calls jackdaws crows. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing.
If you're saying "crow family" you're referring to the taxonomic grouping of Corvidae, which includes things from nutcrackers to blue jays to ravens.
So your reasoning for calling a jackdaw a crow is because random people "call the black ones crows?" Let's get grackles and blackbirds in there, then, too.
Also, calling someone a human or an ape? It's not one or the other, that's not how taxonomy works. They're both. A jackdaw is a jackdaw and a member of the crow family. But that's not what you said. You said a jackdaw is a crow, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the crow family crows, which means you'd call blue jays, ravens, and other birds crows, too. Which you said you don't.
It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?
The average life of a Ravens fan.
Hear gunshots, that’s my alarm.
Exit my house as it crumbles behind me.
Try to get to my car, remember it was stolen.
I just have to walk instead.
The stadium is at 30% capacity; that’s a record.
As the game starts, I have to use the bathroom.
No one is there, so I start.
Suddenly, there’s a knock.
A tired Lamar Jackson needs to shit.
Remember that he’s better if he does.
Exit the bathroom.
He takes a shit, and goes back to the field.
Only losing by seven points.
Ecstasy fills the field as the Ravens score a TD.
Surely, they can’t mess up now.
…
One point tied the game, but they go for two.
No good.
The Ravens lose their 6th game in a row.
How could they make such a choice?
Exit the field disappointed.
My soul is crushed.
Win one game and we’re in the playoffs.
Everyone is laughing at us.
See on phone that star receiver is injured.
He tore his ACL during the coin toss.
ACL tear count: 7.
Look back fondly on the Ray Lewis era.
Lewis was one of two greats to kill two people.
Stop and think for a bit about Flacco.
The guy is the most elite player ever.
Underrated, but elite.
Nod off to sleep.
The next year will be the same.
…Look at the first letter of every sentence.
the exit try I the as no a remember exit he only ecstacy surely one no the how exit my win everyone see he ACL look Lewis stop the underrated nod the
man idk what you were tryna write out with the first words but I don't think it worked
FUCK YOU BALTIMORE!!!
IF YOU’RE DUMB ENOUGH TO SEE A GAME THIS WEEKEND YOU’RE A BIG ENOUGH SCHMUCK TO COME TO M&T BANK STADIUM!!!
BAD TEAMS!!! DEFENSES THAT BREAK DOWN!!! TURNOVERS!!!
IF YOU THINK THE RAVENS ARE GONNA WIN THIS WEEKEND, YOU CAN KISS MY ASS!!!
ITS OUR BELIEF THAT YOU’RE SUCH A STUPID MOTHERFUCKER, YOU’LL ROOT FOR THIS TEAM!! GUARANTEED!!!
IF YOU FIND A BETTER TEAM, SHOVE IT UP YOUR UGLY ASS!! YOU HEARD US RIGHT, SHOVE IT UP YOUR UGLY ASS!!!
BRING YOUR FRIENDS, BRING YOUR JERSEYS, BRING YOUR WIFE!!
WE’LL BEAT HER!!
THAT’S RIGHT, WE’LL HAVE RAY RICE BEAT YOUR WIFE!!!
BECAUSE AT M&T BANK STADIUM, YOU’RE FUCKED 6 WAYS FROM SUNDAY!!!
TAKE A HIKE TO M&T BANK STADIUM, HOME OF CHALLENGE SPECTATING!!! THAT’S RIGHT, CHALLENGE SPECTATING!!! HOW DOES IT WORK?
IF YOU CAN SIT THROUGH AN ENTIRE GAME WITHOUT DRINKING BLEACH, YOU GET FREE SEASON TICKETS!!!
DON’T WAIT! DON’T DELAY! DON’T FUCK WITH US OR WE’LL SELL THE TEAM TO JIMMY HASLAM!!!
ONLY AT M&T BANK STADIUM - THE ONLY FOOTBALL STADIUM THAT TELLS YOU TO FUCK OFF!!!
HURRY UP ASSHOLE! THIS MISERY ENDS THE SECOND YOU ROOT FOR ANOTHER TEAM!!
AND IT BETTER NOT BE THE STEELERS, BROWNS OR BENGALS OR YOU’RE A DEAD MOTHERFUCKER!!!
GO TO HELL - M&T BANK STADIUM!!!
BALTIMORE’S FILTHIEST AND EXCLUSIVE HOME OF THE LAZIEST AND GREEDIEST FOOTBALL PLAYERS IN THE STATE OF MARYLAND!!!
GUARANTEED!!!
The Ravens are really dedicated to only drafting good TEs and and RBs while being the Retirement home for good WRs. No seriously, the best WR they have ever drafted in franchise history is either Hollywood Brown or Torrey Smith.
I have to tread lightly when it comes to roasting the Ravens because Rahim Moore's whiff still haunts my nightmares
I know everyone's making fun of Baltimore's injuries, but I still believe in you. If you manage to stay healthy this year, you might just be able to get knocked out of wildcard contention while the Bengals run your division again
Bird Facts!
A group of Ravens is a conspiracy.
A group of Orioles is a pitch or a split.
A group of crows is a murder, which is what Ray Lewis and company did to Jacinth Baker and Richard Lollar on January 31, 2000 about 200 yards from the Cobalt Lounge at 265 East Paces Ferry Road.
Greg Roman's pass play schemes are from Madden '92. He is the reason Kaepernick quickly regressed after bursting onto the scene as a dual threat QB then he and Harbaugh wanted him to be more of a "passer" and messed everything up instead of letting him ball out, and now he's doing the same to Lamar. If they had a legit OC they could be lethal.
Greg Roman can create an offense that it takes the entire NFL a year to figure out. But he can only do it once every 10 years or so. Good news Ravens fans, only 8 years left on this cycle
The Ravens could win the Super Bowl this year and it still wouldn't be as astounding as the Orioles this season.
Justin Tucker is your top offensive threat and deep down you wouldn't have it any other way.
I think the ravens will be good this year and then blow it all on a two point conversion instead of taking the points
That’s so Ravens.
Great show
Why kick the 50 yard field goal with the best kicker in history when you can lose by 1
That felt like a personal attack.
That’s the point of a roast
100%. And we the fan base will feel gutted when it happens but will be even more grateful for a coach who swings big and is comfortable with gut-wrenching decisions I appreciate that Harbaugh plays the stats, trusts his players, and stands by his decisions. Yet this comment is spot on and quite prophetic.
Cut Harbaugh some slack; his memory probably went wide left in thinking Billy Cundiff was still on the team.
Quoth the Raven, "Ow my ACL!"
Pain..
I knew there’d be a ‘quoth the Raven’ joke somewhere! Didn’t disappoint 😂
Quoth the Raven “neverscore” is a funny one but usually not much use cause they score
So accurate
first of all, how dare you
Lmao
Nevermore!!!
Despite all the Ray Lewis murdered someone or Lamar is a rb/can't throw jokes on this thread so far, this roast still has more originality than a Greg Roman playbook.
Underrated self-burn
I hate to love this one..
The only thing deadlier for a WR's career than an ACL tear is being drafted by Baltimore
Yikes. According to pro football reference, Ravens have never had a WR make 1st team All Pro or Pro Bowl (not counting special teams)
I'm pretty sure our WR coaches have all been paid to lean in their chair and throw paper planes.
Michael Jackson got snubbed of a Pro Bowl in '96!
He actually declined to attend due to a scheduling conflict with preparations for the European leg of the *HIS*tory World Tour
HE HEEE
Oof self burn, those are rare
Hey, if you can't laugh at yourself, right?
I know this is a quote from B99 but I always get irritated when I see it because self-deprecating humor is not rare at all lol
People use the quote out of context I think. Self burns are rare for Amy Santiago, but not in general.
I thought it was more that accidental self burns are rare, since Amy wasn't being intentionally self-deprecating
RBs: Why not both?!
Greg Roman: "Running backs can be wide receivers right?"
Na. That would require us throwing to a RB.
Lamar Jackson can finally be like his hero, Marcus Mariotta.
>The only thing deadlier for a WR's career than an ACL tear is being drafted by Baltimore Or having to catch passes over the middle from Jimmy G.
Get drafted by us and do both!
The Ravens might actually be better off letting Bill Belichick draft their WRs.
We could make a hilarious poop joke about Lamar's #2 receiver but the idea of the Ravens having two actual starters at WR is unthinkable
Our offense is basically Oops all TEs!
I thought we were cool with you guys.
Save the poop jokes for Snyder
Who ate their receivers again?
I was going to talk shit on your injuries but instead I made myself sad
Your entire roster is Ravens players poached in free agency you should be very worried
Need a hug?
You're a Jets fan, you weren't already sad?
By week 18 last year, your IR would have beaten your active roster. Injured or not.
Excuse you, that point was earlier
Fuck you. That's true
TBF they are playing the Baltimore Orioles
Ravens in [preseason](https://media1.tenor.com/images/501aeaae8758b0f6c5c7a17d9533ecae/tenor.gif?itemid=14101790). Ravens in [postseason](https://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/universe-of-smash-bros-lawl/images/4/48/5159875-dragonball-evolution-goku-uniform.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20160818150500).
Ravens in [regular season](https://i.imgur.com/ORSoVev.jpg)
Your joke but keeping the Dragon Ball theme going: https://i.imgur.com/UequDWk.jpg
And the brain damage And the brain damage
Lmao I was expecting piccolo with his arm ripped off but this is better
Man I had the misfortune of seeing that in theaters
Bro, even the Lions don't burn themselves this hard. Literally no one deserves this level of insult. Not even the... *dry heave* ... Packers.
The Ravens are the type of team to extend their kicker before their franchise QB
Yeah, having a reliable kicker is pointless. You’re not just right, you’re wide right.
Lamar Jackson doesn't like Old Bay. Boom, roasted.
That's taking it too far, pal. How dare you?
Good to see our number 27 punching in this year instead of punching out.
Tape don’t lie
You're related to the Browns, in a way
Don’t you dare…
You can't pick your family :(
Just pride yourself on the fact that you're one of two AFC North teams with no sex pests as a QB Edit: *A, not N
AFC* As far as I know the closest we have to a sex pest in the NFC North is Rodgers mustache
Saving this for the Packers roast thread
I mean, Favre was kinda a sleazebag when he was with the Jets
Favre has more career dick pics sent than Rodgers.
I know this is a typo, but out of the starting QBs in the NFCN, who would you be least surprised to hear sex pest allegations about?
... 🤔 Gimme a sec on that. Goff is too boring, Cousins is... meh. Idk the Beard's starter and Rodgers AFAIK is a weirdo but not a predator.
Goff wouldn't need to be a sex pest with that girl. Rodgers is a harmless weirdo bachelor uncle. Cousins hiding his kinks behind a religious background wouldn't be the strangest thing in the world.
Bruh you can’t remember Justin Fields?
The AFC North is basically: * The Cleveland Browns 1.0 * The Cleveland Browns 2.0 * The reanimated corpse of the Cleveland Browns * The Cleveland Browns' historical rival
If you can't beat em, make your own division
Step Browns Browns in law
Goddammit
bro, they ARE the Browns
I'd hate to shit on your parade but are you really gonna make Lamar Jackson the highest paid QB in the league next offseason when he's had more positive COVID tests than playoff wins?
This is my fav so far lol
You don’t have to shit on their parade; Lamar shits plenty on game day
Man needs a FiberOne sponsorship badly
No silly, they are going to do it in the next 2 weeks. Why wait until offseason.
9/32 sounds like a typical Lamar passing statline
He did go 9-for-*20* once
9/20 for like 170 yards passing, and then 14 for 140 and a touchdown on the ground lmao
Ok, fuck, this one's funny.
Good one 😅
Shatline
Greg Roman will do his best to call an offense that makes the Iowa Hawkeyes look like the fucking Greatest Show On Turf.
Now that you say that, Petras would look good in Baltimore purple🤔
As an Iowa fan this hurts my soul. Also, since Mike Zimmer got fired I am fully convinced that Kirk Ferentz is a clone of Zimmer or vice versa. They are the same person
Ravens safety Earl Thomas not lacking in confidence: "When the Super Bowl comes, whoever we play, they're going to be in trouble."
This one hurts this most. Great callback lol.
He's just one of those guys you love to play against but hate when they're on your team.
he actually was a pro bowler his baltimore year, so you can't say they went 14-2 in spite of Thomas
If he doesn’t punch Chuck Clark in the face during practice he’s probably still on the team tbh
*fullback Earl Thomas
To quote the Raven’s past playoff appearances.. Neverscore
True story: I beat Jordan Stout in a 1v1 soccer match. The part that makes it less cool is I was like 20 and he was like 14.
I beat the #7 soccer prospect once in the entire country when I was a freshman in HS. It was extremely disappointing to grow up and see him as a mall security guard now. Took the wind right out of everything
We beat the top soccer recruit in our state my senior year. Pretty sure he never went anywhere with soccer either. It's sad the state of the sport. With America's ability to develop athletes we should be so much more dominant at soccer. It's sickening how the world's game is so ignored.
I would like to take this time to remember the only Louisville QB drafted by Baltimore to win a superbowl. Chris Redman.
I am getting kind of sick of these threads about how good the Titans are and we need to respect them, blah blah blah... The Titans are hoes. On them we shall stunt. 2 points: The Titans beat the Patriots in Foxbourough. A Patriots team that was slumping, limped into the playoffs, and lost to a legit bottom 3 team in the league (The Dolphins, also hoes) at home, in a game that could have won them a potential bye. Yes Derrick Henry is a good, bruising style RB. I ask you what good is a game manager RB when you are down 3 TDs?? Tannehill will be forced to throw against a secondary that has 2 ALL PRO CBs. We are going to destroy the Titans. Our offensive is a fucking buzzsaw. Our defense is stacked and hungry. Lamar is playing better than Jesus right now. Get it together homies, BIG TRUSS.
This is gold. I don’t blame Raven’s fans for expecting a win, they were 14-2 and playing at home. Damn they really went one and done that year…
The problem was playing at home. Ravens vs Titans is notorious for its away field advantage
Please tell me this was a real comment by a Ravens fan
Not just a comment, someone posted it on the team sub.
It's still up on their subreddit.
Just look it up. This was before their loss to the Titans during Lamar’s MVP year.
I am getting kind of sick of these threads about how good the Titans are and we need to respect them, blah blah blah... The Titans are hoes. On them we shall stunt. 2 points: The Titans beat the Patriots in Foxbourough. A Patriots team that was slumping, limped into the playoffs, and lost to a legit bottom 3 team in the league (The Dolphins, also hoes) at home, in a game that could have won them a potential bye. Yes Derrick Henry is a good, bruising style RB. I ask you what good is a game manager RB when you are down 3 TDs?? Tannehill will be forced to throw against a secondary that has 2 ALL PRO CBs. We are going to destroy the Titans. Our offensive is a fucking buzzsaw. Our defense is stacked and hungry. Lamar is playing better than Jesus right now. Get it together homies, BIG TRUSS.
This team will be held back for years by Lamar's dependence on running to the shitter in the middle of games. It's just not sustainable
Lamar is undefeated in games in which he shits himself. Just saying…
He actually has to shit himself? I guess it’s fortunate Ravens tend to be good at getting rid of soiled clothes.
Is this a joke about Ray Lewis that references what he actually did instead of calling him a murderer? Well done, even if it is coming from a Steelers fan.
Damn this one is good.
Alright, this one is spicy
*golfclap*
But it is shitstainable
The Ravens best player is the damn kicker.
As he would be on any other team in the league.
>As he would be on any other team in the league. So you're saying that Justin Tucker is the best player in the NFL?
>So you're saying that Justin Tucker is the best player in the NFL? There is no other player that dominates that much above any other in the relevant categories. You can make the argument maybe for Tom Brady but his season stats are not way better than other QBs. And even then it is a discussion. With Tucker, there really is no discussion anymore.
If that's the criteria, there's certainly an argument to be made.
"The way you find out who the Greatest Of All Time is, of all sports, is to look at the number one guy, and compare his stats to whoever number two is, and find the biggest disparity." -Some Canadian youtuber who probably likes hockey more than football
If Lamar can piss away one more playoff game, he'll get no down payment at Big Bill Hell's.
HOME OF CHALLENGE PISSING
Ravens like shiny things, so I fully expect them to slam directly into the window that is the Bengals bright future
Why? There are no rings behind that window.
[удалено]
Aw man, it's a murder of CROWS dog. Just like you murdered that joke.
It's a Conspiracy of Ravens which also fits
Still of the thinking that this franchise should use the term Unkindness more, because I'm sorry, that's just a badass thing for a group of animals to be called. Like, it's just begging to be a nickname for our defense if I've ever heard one.
Who's gonna tell him 😂
And now it’s a conspiracy? Ray Lewis was in no way smart enough to conspire to do anything.
There is no consistent distinction between "crows" and "ravens", and these appellations have been assigned to different species chiefly on the basis of their size.
“Here’s the thing…”
This is barbaric
nah. There's definite differences at a genetic level. American crows are more closely related to old world crows than new world ravens (although they're all in one genus that may change at some point--taxonomy has been in flux for a ccouple decades now)
Here's the thing. You said a "jackdaw is a crow." Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that. As someone who is a scientist who studies crows, I am telling you, specifically, in science, no one calls jackdaws crows. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing. If you're saying "crow family" you're referring to the taxonomic grouping of Corvidae, which includes things from nutcrackers to blue jays to ravens. So your reasoning for calling a jackdaw a crow is because random people "call the black ones crows?" Let's get grackles and blackbirds in there, then, too. Also, calling someone a human or an ape? It's not one or the other, that's not how taxonomy works. They're both. A jackdaw is a jackdaw and a member of the crow family. But that's not what you said. You said a jackdaw is a crow, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the crow family crows, which means you'd call blue jays, ravens, and other birds crows, too. Which you said you don't. It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?
If you really want to commit to the bit, you have to log onto your 10 other accounts to downvote the OP
Cut him some slack, the last time Eagle's fans learnt something it was that Santa was real since they could hurl batteries at him.
If there is pizza lunchables on the field, it is a crow
Hey, did you guys hear about that new Ray Lewis action figure? >!Batteries included, baby!!<
*Allegedly*
The average life of a Ravens fan. Hear gunshots, that’s my alarm. Exit my house as it crumbles behind me. Try to get to my car, remember it was stolen. I just have to walk instead. The stadium is at 30% capacity; that’s a record. As the game starts, I have to use the bathroom. No one is there, so I start. Suddenly, there’s a knock. A tired Lamar Jackson needs to shit. Remember that he’s better if he does. Exit the bathroom. He takes a shit, and goes back to the field. Only losing by seven points. Ecstasy fills the field as the Ravens score a TD. Surely, they can’t mess up now. … One point tied the game, but they go for two. No good. The Ravens lose their 6th game in a row. How could they make such a choice? Exit the field disappointed. My soul is crushed. Win one game and we’re in the playoffs. Everyone is laughing at us. See on phone that star receiver is injured. He tore his ACL during the coin toss. ACL tear count: 7. Look back fondly on the Ray Lewis era. Lewis was one of two greats to kill two people. Stop and think for a bit about Flacco. The guy is the most elite player ever. Underrated, but elite. Nod off to sleep. The next year will be the same. …Look at the first letter of every sentence.
the exit try I the as no a remember exit he only ecstacy surely one no the how exit my win everyone see he ACL look Lewis stop the underrated nod the man idk what you were tryna write out with the first words but I don't think it worked
I meant letter. I am stupid.
the effort is what counts
Te titan are hoes on the mwe shall stunt?
FUCK YOU BALTIMORE!!! IF YOU’RE DUMB ENOUGH TO SEE A GAME THIS WEEKEND YOU’RE A BIG ENOUGH SCHMUCK TO COME TO M&T BANK STADIUM!!! BAD TEAMS!!! DEFENSES THAT BREAK DOWN!!! TURNOVERS!!! IF YOU THINK THE RAVENS ARE GONNA WIN THIS WEEKEND, YOU CAN KISS MY ASS!!! ITS OUR BELIEF THAT YOU’RE SUCH A STUPID MOTHERFUCKER, YOU’LL ROOT FOR THIS TEAM!! GUARANTEED!!! IF YOU FIND A BETTER TEAM, SHOVE IT UP YOUR UGLY ASS!! YOU HEARD US RIGHT, SHOVE IT UP YOUR UGLY ASS!!! BRING YOUR FRIENDS, BRING YOUR JERSEYS, BRING YOUR WIFE!! WE’LL BEAT HER!! THAT’S RIGHT, WE’LL HAVE RAY RICE BEAT YOUR WIFE!!! BECAUSE AT M&T BANK STADIUM, YOU’RE FUCKED 6 WAYS FROM SUNDAY!!! TAKE A HIKE TO M&T BANK STADIUM, HOME OF CHALLENGE SPECTATING!!! THAT’S RIGHT, CHALLENGE SPECTATING!!! HOW DOES IT WORK? IF YOU CAN SIT THROUGH AN ENTIRE GAME WITHOUT DRINKING BLEACH, YOU GET FREE SEASON TICKETS!!! DON’T WAIT! DON’T DELAY! DON’T FUCK WITH US OR WE’LL SELL THE TEAM TO JIMMY HASLAM!!! ONLY AT M&T BANK STADIUM - THE ONLY FOOTBALL STADIUM THAT TELLS YOU TO FUCK OFF!!! HURRY UP ASSHOLE! THIS MISERY ENDS THE SECOND YOU ROOT FOR ANOTHER TEAM!! AND IT BETTER NOT BE THE STEELERS, BROWNS OR BENGALS OR YOU’RE A DEAD MOTHERFUCKER!!! GO TO HELL - M&T BANK STADIUM!!! BALTIMORE’S FILTHIEST AND EXCLUSIVE HOME OF THE LAZIEST AND GREEDIEST FOOTBALL PLAYERS IN THE STATE OF MARYLAND!!! GUARANTEED!!!
I feel like people aren't getting the reference here.
Well, the reference’s source material is 32 years old. It’s literally older than the Ravens.
And it hit the internet *checks KYM* 16 year ago good lord I’m getting old
it was basically passed around here and was like non internet meme before that
A Big Bill's Hell reference is something I'll take any day of the week.
We're already off to a great start. Thanks for setting such a high bar!
Roflmao it was a reference to [this](https://youtu.be/4sZuN0xXWLc)
Holy shit I have never seen this before, my bad lol. This is funny as hell!
I thought everyone had seen this. It's an absolute classic.
Buddy I know Big Bill Hell VERY well.
Bruh this is a throwback
This belongs in a museum
I genuinely forgot Ray Rice existed before this comment
Big Bill Hell is an all time internet classic
How is a writing desk like a Raven? >!You didn't see either in the playoffs last year!<
I always liked "Poe wrote on both"
That's the original punchline 🤫
It took The Ravens a historic 66 yard field goal, a doink none the less, to beat the lowly lions looking for their first win. Fuck You
You're too early for this thread, should have delayed it til tomorrow.
Bengals with their “cheap” scouting system know how to draft the fuck out of WR.
Joe Flacco played so light's out during the 2012 postseason run that there was a literal blackout during the Super Bowl just to empathize his play.
Aren’t you supposed to be roasting us? This seems like a compliment to the Elite Dragon
So much for starting 8-3
I was about to literally write the best roast on here, but I sprained my ACL doing so.
The Ravens are really dedicated to only drafting good TEs and and RBs while being the Retirement home for good WRs. No seriously, the best WR they have ever drafted in franchise history is either Hollywood Brown or Torrey Smith.
Good receivers don’t even want to retire with us at this point
Rashod Bateman
I have to tread lightly when it comes to roasting the Ravens because Rahim Moore's whiff still haunts my nightmares I know everyone's making fun of Baltimore's injuries, but I still believe in you. If you manage to stay healthy this year, you might just be able to get knocked out of wildcard contention while the Bengals run your division again
Punching your girlfriend 1/10, 10/10 with Rice
Bird Facts! A group of Ravens is a conspiracy. A group of Orioles is a pitch or a split. A group of crows is a murder, which is what Ray Lewis and company did to Jacinth Baker and Richard Lollar on January 31, 2000 about 200 yards from the Cobalt Lounge at 265 East Paces Ferry Road.
He crowed them?
He made them crowk.
This is such a stupid joke and I can't stop laughing
Look I'm a Ravens fan! That means Ill respond to every critical comment as insecurely and defensively as I can!
\*downvotes\*
My humble offerings https://v.redd.it/pxpnl58vt7361 https://i.redd.it/0ge2xtei3h161.jpg https://v.redd.it/ccu6blekd8161 https://v.redd.it/93ab7qobqt061
Greg Roman's pass play schemes are from Madden '92. He is the reason Kaepernick quickly regressed after bursting onto the scene as a dual threat QB then he and Harbaugh wanted him to be more of a "passer" and messed everything up instead of letting him ball out, and now he's doing the same to Lamar. If they had a legit OC they could be lethal.
I thought these were supposed to be funny and not daily posts from our sub smh
Are we allowed to do Brown’s jokes as well on this one.
The ravens were undefeated in both the preseason and the postseason last year.
The Ravens are the anti-Chargers, you can bet on their kicker but the QB is always shitting his pants
This roast has a 94% chance of being any good.
Greg Roman can create an offense that it takes the entire NFL a year to figure out. But he can only do it once every 10 years or so. Good news Ravens fans, only 8 years left on this cycle
Rahim Moore most important defensive player of the 2013 championship
The Ravens could win the Super Bowl this year and it still wouldn't be as astounding as the Orioles this season. Justin Tucker is your top offensive threat and deep down you wouldn't have it any other way.
Purple or not, Browns is the Browns