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Skeletoregano

Funniest line / most realistic part from Independence Day: a quick pan across a TV newscast announcing "Police are once again asking residents *not* to shoot at the alien aircraft."


JonBoy82

if I recall the graphic was a hand gun too. Like that's gonna make it up there.


robeph

A 9mm is probably going to shoot at a maximum of around 4000 feet. A far cry of the height here. As well a hand gun's bullets are a bit less stable than a rifle and that roughly 4000 is a perfect system weight / energy calculation. Probably not over 1500 feet altitude with instability and angle being much less than 90 degrees.


Skeletoregano

I enjoy that I mentioned ID and you gave us physics education to class up my 27-year-old reference. Thank you! 😁


thefartographer

Not if you grease the barrel and then jump real high while thrusting your arm out and shout # Nnngyah! Could probably take out the moon with that kind of power. Especially if you put lightning decals on the slide of the gun.


restore_democracy

Well first you have to float up next to it with your own balloon and lawn chair…


SBot225

Hold my beer……


jtfriendly

Your lawn chair has a beer holder, Uncle Bill!


l4tra

That's for whisky.


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whiskeylady

Whatchu call me?!


yawya

I hope it has an oxygen supply holder too if you're planning on going up to 60K feet


EvlMinion

That's just unnecessary weight!


peter-doubt

Your hat can hold your beer... And the straws keep your hands free so you can steer!


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[deleted]

More importantly aim


SkyPork

No no, you're gonna want to take that with you.


Shitty_Watercolour

https://i.imgur.com/788ZyHo.jpg


DeadbeatCassanova

This needs to be a king of the hill episode


CrudelyAnimated

Let Bobby take the shot. At least I know he’ll put it down clean.


ericanderton

Dale: The balloon doesn't even belong to China. That's just what the government _wants_ you to believe.


port53

Well, it would be the perfect cover. With multiple balloons the US has plausible deniability because one of them happens to be passing over the US.


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SkyNetIsNow

You mean a shotgun fired from the ground won't reach a balloon 60,000 feet in the stratosphere? I'm shocked. /S


TheFrenchSavage

18.2 km for those who don't know the length of a given foot.


nthensome

How many hogsheads is that?


Dragonslayer3

"She'll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene."


onlydrawzombies

PUT IT IN **H**!!!


Crowing77

[Take it for a test drive](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HXT7fDkf9I), and you'll agree... Zagreb ebnen zloty dien.


Excellent-Salary-867

What country was this car made in?


LemursRideBigWheels

It no longer exists.


quellflynn

we use meters and miles here buddy!


Whig_Party

how many football fields?


egordoniv

If that thing crosses over Southeast US, some fool will find a way to hit it with a pickup truck.


Batafurii8

They would have found a way in southern Illinois if it were going to happen


Pennybaggz

Can confirm. Southeast Alabama here, saw one of those crazy ass QAnon trucks parked at McDonald's with a large billboard in the tailgate that said SHOOT IT DOWN!


Thorn14

r/trebuchetmemes


compdog

*Did you know that a trebuchet can lob a 4000lbs Ford F150 up to 60,000 feet?*


ShaBren

Lawnchair Larry rides again!


ThaiJohnnyDepp

Should use a [RAWKET LAWN CHAIR](https://rocketlawnchair.ytmnd.com/)


Nex_Ultor

[Larry Walters?](https://youtu.be/E7w_v9J7iOc)


7355135061550

Don't diss Larry Walters!


Scrolling_Blunder

"Authorities are asking Los Angelinos to not shoot at the alien space craft"


Wolfram_And_Hart

“For they may inadvertently start an intergalactic war.”


jddigitalchaos

We're not hosting an intergalactic keger either.


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dtwhitecp

took me forever to realize, as an American, that his name is "Zed" as in how the letter Z is said in parts of the world. He's agent Z.


Jizzlobber58

>Who's Zed? Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead.


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LouSputhole94

I had to crash that Honda baby, now will you please come on?


CCtenor

Independence Day, baby!!!!


thegreatgazoo

Not the first time: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Los_Angeles


Took-the-Blue-Pill

Let's kick the tires and light the fires!


coryhill66

I hope they bring back elvis!


yehti

>Los Angelinos I can only read this in Ned Flanders' voice


UltravioIence

Hidey ho angelinos!


woopwoopscuttle

[Police advisory screencap](https://i.imgur.com/oPkyvc0.jpg)


yogfthagen

It's eleven (corrected) miles away. You're not going to hit it. Even if you do, it will be months before it actually has a noticeable effect. I was a blimp mechanic. We had to do bullet inspections every so often, when the lift calculations showed that our helium purity was dropping. Because of the very low pressures that kept the blimp inflated (about 1 inch of water pressure), it literally took weeks before enough helium leaked out for us to even notice a pencil-sized hole in a blimp the size of a barn. And that's for a blimp at an altitude of 1000 feet, not 60,000 feet.


spentmiles

Finally someone who knows what they are talking about. We'll need thousands of people shooting at it, with the smaller bullets pushing the bigger bullets, to bring this thing down.


Cycode

let's get our middleage canons out bois! LEEEERROOOYYY JENKIIINNNSSSS...


bonefloss

oh shit he just ran in


saysthingsbackwards

Stick to the plan, stick to the plan!


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Renegade__OW

Hear me out. If it's eleven miles in the sky then normal guns can't reach it. But what if we make a gun that can fire a gun? That way once it reaches peak velocity it can fire another shot at the balloon and finally hit it?


AdRob5

Hmm ... not sure it will have enough range. We might need a gun that fires a gun that fires a gun


Dissidence802

It's guns all the way up.


kalasea2001

Alright reddit! You have your marching orders.


LazyUpvote88

People would shoot at blimps? Damn.


yogfthagen

Because the concept of "there's people in that thing" never seems to register in their brains.


Sunretea

I'll be honest.. I don't think a lot of people care about that. Especially not people who are shooting at blimps.


Nayre_Trawe

Quite honestly, back in my blimp-shooting days, the thought never once crossed my mind.


Sidekick_monkey

I still have PTSD from your BSD.


Nayre_Trawe

Oh, stop blowing it all out of proportion.


HashMaster9000

Oh, the humanity.


Sunflowerslaughter

If an individual doesn't think "what if i miss and the bullet dropping hurts somebody" i somehow doubt they'll think "there's people in that floaty boat"


CarneDelGato

Or worse, it does.


lj6782

It's why people turn into such assholes in their car. They see a car and can't imagine the person inside


sellyme

Those people also tend to be arseholes to pedestrians and cyclists, so I'm not sure that's the explanation. I think it might just be that they're arseholes.


JackRusselTerrorist

I can imagine the person inside. And that person is an asshole.


darkmauveshore

Real reason Hindenburg went down.


Refreshingpudding

Jesus Lana it is inflammable!


MajorGeneralInternet

Inflammable means flammable?! What a country.


FrogsEverywhere

Americans regularly shoot at the Goodyear Blimp. The one they fly over football games. I remember reading that their blimps take gunfire around 100 times a year that they know of. You put 500 million guns into the population, you're going to get shot blimps.


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God_Damnit_Nappa

Yup and it's also super illegal to shoot at aircraft. But if they can't find the shooter then the asshole gets away with it


HauntedCemetery

I'm absolutely positive that every year some idiots post video of them shooting at blimps to social media with their legal name attached.


[deleted]

If there was a UFO passively observing us, someone's gonna shoot it and start an intragalactic war


paperfett

I'm the article it mentions fighter jets put over 1,000 rounds into a weather balloon in 1998 and it was still in the air six days later.


[deleted]

So is that the actual reason they won't shoot it down? All it does is become a kite. Now the narrative is "out of control chinese spy balloon."


BuyDizzy8759

They don't shoot it down because that is the stupidest strategic move and they can't go on TV and say "listen, we are not shooting it down because we want to practice hacking their SIGINT technology and see how our various ewar works against it. We also want to set up fake things for it to take pictures of along it's predicted path"...so we get "it could fall on farmer frank" and then they ignore our stupid population's ignorant call for actions.


yogfthagen

I think that a fighter pilot's claim of hitting a weather balloon with 1000 rounds might be a bit, pardon the pun, overinflated....


loggic

I guess it would depend on the weapons platform. The [F-16 Vulcan](https://www.gd-ots.com/armaments/aircraft-guns-gun-systems/f-16/) can fire 6,000 rounds per minute, so 1,000 rounds would only take 10 seconds of firing... Of course, it only holds a bit over 500 rounds, so that particular system runs out of ammo in about 5 seconds. If the claim originated back when the gun was a primary weapon on a fighter jet, the it doesn't seem unimaginable that a pilot would take a few passes at a balloon & dump most of his ammo on it.


Schyte96

>that particular system runs out of ammo in about 5 seconds. It will never not confound me how quickly various military vehicles can chew through the ammo reserves they can carry. It's like a minute of action and it's out. Planes, submarines etc.


ReyneOfFire

In the case of fighters, 15-25 round bursts is more than enough to shred an airframe, so with proper trigger discipline they can last a very long time on what seems like limited ammo reserves.


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SquarePegRoundWorld

If a fighter pilot can't put 1,000 rounds into a freaking balloon the size of a few barns then we wasted our money training them.


Kazang

An F18's gun can fire 6000 rounds per minute but they only carry 578 rounds of ammo standard. 1000 rounds is only 10 seconds of fire. And since the balloon would have pretty low speed compared to the jet the window for attacking would be small and it would be difficult to hit with the range going from extreme to short in a few seconds. It's not that far fetched to believe a pair F-18's emptied their guns at a balloon and it had no immediate effect.


twopacktuesday

Only on Reddit, will an actual Blimp mechanic chime in. That’s why I love this place.


[deleted]

(Alleged) blimp mechanic


Pays_in_snakes

*former* blimp mechanic. How do we know we're not hearing from a blimp mechanic fired for their tendency to underestimate the severity of small holes in the blimp?


Lotions_and_Creams

I am a (former) blimp mechanic supervisor. I can attest to this (former) blimp mechanic's technical skill and integrity.


Magatha_Grimtotem

Oh you're talking about Leaking Leonard, yeah we fired him after the 2nd woodpecker incident.


YourFatherUnfiltered

I prefer to call them Blimptitians.


bebefridgers

Blimpologists.


overcatastrophe

60,000 feet is over 11 miles btw


yogfthagen

Thank you. It's 6am. Brain sti not working at 100%. I will edit-/correct.


ZarquonsFlatTire

Damn. The Budweiser blimp used to circle near my high school. I realize now now it was over Darlington racetrack and the school was just nearby. We never shot at it. There were people in there. What? You hit it and a few advertising interns go down with pilots?


WhatIfThatThingISaid

Lol if it was near darlington then someone DEFINITELY tried shooting at it at some point lol


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jocax188723

Friendly reminder that firing bullets upwards, even in celebration, has resulted in deaths if the bullet retains a parabolic trajectory. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celebratory_gunfire#Falling-bullet_injuries


MmmmMorphine

Using this machine designed specifically to kill and destroy things to "celebrate" in a manner far more expensive and dangerous than using functionally identical firecrackers or other loud annoying bullshit. Hmm. Yep, makes sense to me. Clearly those deaths were the will of god.


VTSvsAlucard

I guess full circle from fireworks being a "celebrate" thing to kill and destroy.


jayseph95

Just shoot unparabolically


pichael288

It's like 65,000 feet in the air. There are no guns that can shoot that down from the ground. But I imagine there's a few rednecks with Anti air cannons in montana


[deleted]

I've seen a video of a lady who thought she could get rid of "chemtrails" with a spray bottle of vinegar. People don't understand 3 dimensionality


DeadHED

Her house probably stank


Nirwood

I had to git her outta the barn but hell ya!


WhyBuyMe

There are only a handful of dedicated anti-aircraft weapons that can fire that high from the ground and most if not all of them are missiles. Even what is probably the most famous ant-aircraft gun the German 88 only had a ceiling of about 30-35k feet. So, even the rednecks with anti-air cannons are probably out of luck.


Roflkopt3r

I mean, the 88 was pretty weak by today's standards for high calibre guns. The Rheinmetall 120 mm smoothbore gun for example has about 4-5x the muzzle energy of the 88 flak. The 88 fired a 9.2 kg projectile at 840 m/s muzzle velocity, the DM63 is a bit over 8 kg at about 1750 m/s and a far more aerodynamic arrow-shaped projectile. If we really really wanted to shoot at it with a cannon, we could probably reach the altitude.


Samarium149

Ah yes, I knew it was my time. Give me a minute to pull off the covers on my recreational Rh120 L/44 firing military surplus APFSDS and point it straight up. What could possibly go wrong.


kv1e

Wasn’t there a Canadian guy who helped Saddam Hussein build some ridiculous artillery that would’ve reached way higher, at its apsis?


Treebsy

Something something Babylon?


Cinema_King

They’re trying to shoot it? What do they think it is, a hurricane?


Adorable_Wolf_8387

Why not use the Jewish space laser?


jayhawk2112

Um, it’s the Sabbath


Reverendbread

Fine, we’ll use the Hindu space laser


Smugg-Fruit

Um, it's Thaipusam? In Japan...


SweetToothFairy

Japan Space Lasers are for Kaiju only.


TripleEhBeef

Surely they have a Gundam we can borrow?


ThreatOfFire

Just drop a colony on it


Ey3_913

You know the Hindu Space Laser is always working because of the red dots on Indian people's foreheads. /s


[deleted]

I don't roll on shabbos dude!


bukithd

This is not Nam, Smokey. There are rules.


capthazelwoodsflask

I told that kraut a fucking thousand times that I don't laser on Shabbos!


NikolaTesla963

“I don’t fucking drive a car, I don’t fucking ride in a car, I don’t turn on the stove and I SURE AS SHIT DONT FUCKING ROLL!”


eastern-cowboy

That’s a very repetitive article. They repeat the same information in the article. The information is stated multiple times in different ways in this article.


Superbead

I read essentially the same thing phrased in several ways in that article.


dirtyswoldman

The effective range of an AR-15 is 600 yards or 1800 ft. The balloon is 60,000 feet. If my math is cOrrect, grandpas old 12g lever action oughta git it Edit: and the winner is myth busters with 10,000 ft vertically under ideal circumstances. Only 50,000 ft to go and good god reddit will argue anything lmao


Unit147

Wait till Cletus there brings out his medicinal FIM-92 Stinger, that'll show 'em.


nickie_hafflinger

> FIM-92 Stinger has an operating ceiling of 11,500 ft (3500 M). Cletus is going to have to bring out his surplus MIM-23 Hawk if he needs to hit 60,000 ft.


TheFrenchSavage

Just looked it up and oh my if it ain't some Tony Stark shit. The price is also Tony Stark level ($15M for the launcher and then 250k for each missile, probably in 1995 dollars).


JohnnySmithe80

I'll let you in on a little something they won't tell ya. Don't waste money on the launcher, get one of those long reach BBQ lighters and a pair of safety glasses.


ChimneyMonkey

Eh, the good ol’ safety squints should do the trick.


Stopikingonme

I remember when my dad was explaining to me to **always** use safety glasses then said “But if you don’t have any here’s what you do…”


guynamedjames

Hmmm. We have an honest to God piece of hostile military equipment over the US and the second amendment isn't pricing expansive enough. LEGALIZE SURFACE TO AIR MISSILE SYSTEMS FOR HOME DEFENSE!


andthatswhyIdidit

Gravity -on the other hand - has something to tell about, what is going to happen to that load...


ChosenWriter513

That's what she said!


Dayofsloths

All you have to do is shoot another bullet at your bullet, when you hit it, that will provide a boost of energy and propel it farther. Of course, at a certain point, you need to hit a bullet with your bullet for that bullet to then hit your original bullet, but that's what machine guns are for


loxagos_snake

Just practice on a wall, learn the pattern, crouch and it's easy.


WhyBuyMe

This guy bullets.


trasholex

Last time I checked, math was for BITCHES. (LOADS WEAPON)


npeggsy

"The effective range of an AR-15 is 600 yards"- That sounds like SOCIALISM to me, it sounds like these EXPERTS are trying to tell me I don't have the RIGHTS to fire my gun 60,000 feet.


Hawkeye_x_Hawkeye

Bet you I can throw this football over them mountains


psaux_grep

Random people killed or maimed by random bullets, coming soon to an area near you.


doll_parts87

You will totally see a story of their defense trying to do what guvment wont


Vlvthamr

It’s at 60,000 feet, how the fuck do people think they’re hitting that?


rdyer347

I bet there's at least one farmer fueling up his crop duster right now so he can get closer to the balloon.


TenSecondsFlat

Holy shit, what a mental image


Don_Gato1

And godspeed to him


JukeBoxDildo

"HELLO BOYS! I'M BAAAAAACK!"


SometimesWithWorries

This thread was really just tailor made for people to share Independence Day quotes.


[deleted]

Your mistake is assuming they can think


Fetlocks_Glistening

They've been stockpiling guns and camo baseball caps for *years* for this, and now it's begun you want them to refrain??


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SaltyBarDog

If it weren't so frigging dangerous to others, go ahead and waste $50 worth of ammo on a pointless endeavor.


xElMerYx

As a non-American, how many bullets does 50 bucks get you?


VStarRoman

>As a non-American, how many bullets does 50 bucks get you? Depends on caliber and brand. When looking for the cheapest possible option, I found: My largest caliber is about $2.50 per round (so $50 would get you about 20 rounds) and another one of mine is about $4.25 a round (so $50 would get you about 11 rounds). My second smallest caliber is about $0.25 a round ($50 would get you about 200 rounds) and my third smallest caliber is $0.33 a round ($50 would get you about 151 rounds).


IAMA_Plumber-AMA

And if you're into antique stuff, expect to pay through the nose for components. Example: the going rate for 11x60mm Mauser *brass* here is $20 per piece.


Henorlae

Somewhere in the range of .25 cents to a $1/round.


jtfriendly

You're getting hosed. Who's your bullet guy? I know a dude who works demolition at the old K-Mart on MLK that can get you half off that price point.


show_the_maw

I have cash. Who’s your plug?


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paulisaac

This balloon is gonna get people killed from stray bullet fire.


trubboy

Guns don't kill people, shooting at Chinese balloons does.


JillStinkEye

Correction, MISSING Chinese Balloons. Can't kill anyone if you got it.


XAgentNovemberX

First off, how the fuck can they even see it? Second off, The thing is at 60,000 feet, Chris fucking Kyle couldn’t hit it with the best rifle available.


schoh99

You don't have to be able to see it to shoot in its general direction (up). Checkmate atheists.


SomethingIWontRegret

You can see it because it's enormous. The payload itself is 90 feet across. The balloon is much bigger than that.


gracecase

This is why I'm always pushing for more STEM in the classroom. We should be shooting fricking laser beams at that thing not bullets.


-1KingKRool-

Pretty sure laser beams diffuse too much over that distance and atmosphere to be useful for damaging it, last I knew.


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GiantRiverSquid

Just strap the laser to the Fonz instead


Seigmoraig

Not if they're already in space to begin with Checkmate


tjean5377

Secret Jewish Space Lasers to the rescue!!! s/


[deleted]

lip expansion modern tan squash fly one alive fear impossible *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


jam3s2001

Maybe styropyro has one that's strong enough to make it that far. We should call him and see.


timothyjwood

Yeah...if you think you're going to hit something 12 miles up with your nine, you need to put down the weapon, and not pick it up again until you've read the manual. If you're the kind of person that's going to aimlessly fire rounds into the air, you need to put down the weapon and just leave it there.


VStarRoman

>If you're the kind of person that's going to aimlessly fire rounds into the air, you need to put down the weapon and just leave it there. Word of reason there. I was thinking they probably like having something to shoot at beyond the standard but in the end, whatever they shoot in the air must come down somewhere.


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ZarquonsFlatTire

You told a bunch of Americans there is a Chinese spy balloon above them. What the fuck did you think would happen? Suddenly Montanans would realize how far up 65,000 feet is?


BMXTKD

Out of all the people in the world, Montanans should know better. You know, the state that is literally named after a mountain range?


Somehum

All the Chinese have to do is float a few of these over America and we will shoot our own lights out getting bullets 1/12th of the way to the balloon.


ctrlqirl

So this was the CCP plan all along. Fly a white and super reflective "spy" balloon up in the air, make it float over US, everybody lose their mind and die from stray bullets. Genius.


Its_General_Apathy

>"And finally, please don't take pot shots at it with your handguns in an attempt to bring it down on your own," *"Get the rifles!! ''* - guys named Bubba everywhere


aboynamedbluetoo

I read elsewhere, didn’t read the linked Newsweek article, that the balloon is around 100k ft in the air. So yeah, waste of ammo and stupid for other reasons too.


Little-Jim

...well what the fuck else are we supposed to do on a saturday?


Rosebunse

On a serious note, these balloons are too high up for your gun to reach.