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TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK

not remotely oniony


bsa554

"Sure, I'll have sex with Taylor Swift," says man.


Dolthra

Yeah, I wasn't aware this was something that anyone needed to *announce.*


halfadayoffwithpay

From my understanding you have to declare it. Somewhat like bankruptcy.


cleverlane

I DECLARE IMPREGNATION


dhorvath127

That's not how it works Michael.


jazzinitup

I didn’t say it, I declared it.


taste-like-burning

I didn't ejaculate it, I declared it.


Gonergonegone

Goddamn it dude. I'm pregnant now. Where the fuck is this thing going to come out? My dick hole? My ass? I need answers baby daddy!


[deleted]

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Gonergonegone

Fuuuuuuck. A full split? I need an alternative. I need a plan B.


Pays_in_snakes

You mean by yelling it aloud at the office?


[deleted]

Hell, I figured it was a pretty standard position, does saying it out loud actually make it happen? If I say it out loud three times, will it Beetlejuice her into my bed?


tristanjones

Yeah like unless they are actively together how does this merit even a tweet?


WeNeedToTalkAboutMe

Because he said it on Howard Stern's show and somehow what people say on Howard Stern's show is still considered newsworthy.


JustADutchRudder

Howard Stern doesn't even think the things said in 2023 on The Howard Stern show are newsworthy.


seancollinhawkins

God damnit, I had to actually click the article because your comment made me think he just randomly tweeted that. He was asked on the Howard Stern Show if he'd have a baby with Swift. He said yea. Then he was asked about the news of her being single. And he was like, yea, again. So basically saying he'd be in a relationship with her and bang her. He didn't just tweet that out of nowhere


Cam-Dolezar

This is normally where these random headlines come from: "Celebrity says outlandish thing!" Usually an interview and shockingly often just a response to a yes or no question.


rugology

i think the person you're replying to meant it like "this isn't even worthy of a tweet let alone a news article" rather than that nick cannon had tweeted anything.


Ser_Dunk_the_tall

I too would like to have sex with Taylor Swift. Figure I've got the same odds as Nick Cannon


[deleted]

Maybe Taylor Swift would just fuck anybody and we've all just been trippin this whole time


halfadayoffwithpay

Username checks out


jscummy

She's been waiting for someone to announce it, she was too shy to make the first move


robmobtrobbob

Throw my hat in the ring as well.


hobbitlover

"She'll write a dis track about it after that will be brutal to you. You still good to go?" "Yup."


TheRavenSayeth

Did I stutter?!


helium_farts

That just makes it better


_mad_adams

I’m pretty sure Nick Canon is just an exhibitionist with a breeding kink at this point


SophieintheKnife

Like Rob Lowe in that Law & Order SVU episode ETA I was wrong! It's John Stamos, not Rob Lowe, my apologies


goatman0079

Excuse me what?


SophieintheKnife

lol he was on an episode where Olivia Benson discovers that he's been impregnating all these women without their knowledge. Poking holes in the condoms, that sort of thing. A fine performance by Mr Lowe


goatman0079

I don't particularly like SVU, but I love me some Rob Lowe, so now I have to watch it


Mikey748

I thought that episode had the guy from Full House John Stamos in it. I could be wrong…


SophieintheKnife

You're right! I'm wrong! I always mix them up. I will ETA


Officedrone15

Have mercy


lorgskyegon

Cut it out


scotems

I don't think I've ever seen "ETA" used in this way.


[deleted]

What do you mean by ETA? Doesn’t that mean estimated time of arrival?


sunatmywindow

It's supposed to also mean "edited to add", but they're saying they will "edit to add". I've never agreed with using ETA in this context anyway. Just say the word edit, eg "I'll edit my comment", because you're right ETA is already way more commonly used for that


Trustyduck

It's a fantastic episode. You should definitely watch it.


Sprucecaboose2

I think he means Chad Lowe, Rob's brother? Episode is [Piqued](https://lawandorder.fandom.com/wiki/Pique) ​ Edit: Looks like fastyellowtuesday is right and it is John Stamos, the episode is [Bang](https://lawandorder.fandom.com/wiki/Bang),


fastyellowtuesday

I think they meant 'Harem' with John Stamos. The dude fathered a *ton* of kids with a bunch of different women. Piqued is a great episode, but nothing to do with a breeding kink. ETA: Bang, not Harem


Sprucecaboose2

>Harem [It's actually Bang](https://lawandorder.fandom.com/wiki/Bang), just an FYI, but you are 100% right it is Stamos and this episode does indeed make a lot more sense!


MauriceIsTwisted

I was gonna say, it was John Stamos not Rob Lowe. Beat me to it


Robcobes

You tell me this guy gets off of getting women pregnant?


tasty_tomato

I can hear John Mulaney’s voice as Ice T


Cmyers1980

He played a character that was obsessed with having as many children as possible but didn’t care about actually raising them.


bapants

Isn’t that John Stamos in that episode?


SophieintheKnife

Yup, I just realised I'd mixed them up. Still a classic episode lol


bapants

I mean, same diff lol it is a great episode!


[deleted]

When they open the bathroom door and he's sitting on the toilet with his reading classes on and poking a hole in the condom. Just brilliant acting


SophieintheKnife

He's got the 'what me?" look happening lol


Polishing_My_Grapple

Man is exploded by a diver's knife meant for killing sharks. It's when SVU had really wacky endings


King_Julien__

I read online that he suffers from lupus and that it's rumored he's making so many kids because he will need a kidney transplant at some point and hopes to have many good matches. I find that a bit too dark to be true, I suspect he just has a superiority-complex and thinks his genes are so special he needs to spread them as much as possible, but you never know. People do some fucked up shit for fucked up reasons, especially if they're very rich and become detached from reality and any moral boundaries.


HughJassmanTheThird

I think he just doesn’t like to wear condoms lol


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YourStateOfficer

I mean it's not like he can't afford birth control, abortions, or surgeries to stop it. He's paying A LOT for these kids, he definitely wants the kids


SleazySaurusRex

I don't think he wants kids, I think he wants to proliferate. There's no chance in hell all or even most of his kids will know him to any significant degree. He will be a father to many and a dad to none.


KoontFace

With that many kids i doubt he’d need to be “all in” sounds like this dude could impregnate a lady from across the street.


KeyanReid

His idea of “all in” is being a sperm donor. Fatherhood clearly isn’t really part of the equation.


theperson73

I think some of his kids names might be worse than X-Æ A-12. "Legendary Love Cannon" "Powerful Queen Cannon" "*Beautiful Zeppelin Cannon*" "**GOLDEN CANNON**" You can't be serious. No one is gonna take you seriously when your middle name is ZEPPELIN.


saturnspritr

The more this gets harped on the more I feel for Mariah Carey.


TrivialFacts

I thought the rumour was he's having the babies for organs cause he has lupus.


kawkz440

Remember to spay and neuter your Nick Cannons, friends.


defthaiku

I agree, his cannon probably needs to be nicked.


finnjakefionnacake

i like this


AdministrationDry507

I almost forgot this guy existed


Beer-Milkshakes

Probably like the mothers of his children until the cheque comes


MesWantooth

I think his thinking with T-Swift is that for once, she'd probably owe him child support. I'm sure he remembers Mariah Carey taking care of the bills with fondness.


blaktronium

Like most people, for whatever reason, his sweet ride was already over when he decided to write an Eminem diss and go after Hailie in the first paragraph. Now look at him lol.


MesWantooth

True. Eminem sent MKG all the way to another genre.


blaktronium

Ja rule has to scam college kids and only sings at open mic nights now


MesWantooth

Haha, damn. Somebody get Ja Rule on the phone so he can make sense of all this.


AdministrationDry507

I now remember the Nick Cannon show I wish to forget the Nick Cannon show


SpaceManSmithy

The trick was not watching it in the first place.


choyjay

~~There are no checks—[he doesn't pay any child support](https://www.pennlive.com/life/2023/03/nick-cannon-reveals-he-doesnt-provide-monthly-child-support-for-any-of-his-12-children.html)~~ **Edit:** Yikes—not an excuse at all for not doing my due diligence, but I appear to have fallen for a clickbait headline. Leaving it here for context but I do stand corrected.


Hydralisk18

Wow I have alot of conflicting feelings after reading that short article


Zkenny13

Yeah. Is he a cool guy for not needing the government to tell him to pay support for his kids? Or is he just insane?


Van_GOOOOOUGH

The internet is here to remind us periodically of things we never cared about.


MagnificentOrchids

It isn’t love it isn’t hate it’s just indifference


Armitage1

I'm mildly annoyed that I keep getting reminded he exists.


ddarion

And it was so, niiiiiiiceeeeee


IeishaS

Glad it wasn’t just me 😂


its_liiiiit_fam

So peaceful and quiiiiiieeeeett


burrito-disciple

Who the hell is Nick Cannon?


ELB2001

Some guy that at some point has three women pregnant with his baby at the same time


burrito-disciple

Why do we care about this guy I've never heard of him before but there are people interviewing him about knocking up a major celebrity? Wtf


Jakeremix

Nobody “cares” about him per se but he is talked about because he is a celebrity. He has hosted America’s Got Talent and the Masked Singer and also was married to Mariah Carey for 8 years.


Koru03

>was married to Mariah Carey for 8 years. That's more impressive to me than anything he's done in his career.


HungrySeaweed1847

And before that he was *everywhere* on Nickelodeon. If you grew up in the 90s, you were exposed to a *lot* of Nick Cannon.


finnjakefionnacake

and was also an actor whose been in plenty of films


ingeniousmachine

I mean, you could just Google him. He's also a celebrity in his own right, though obviously less of one than Swift. He hosted America's Got Talent for years, had a music career, has been in a bunch of dumb movies, etc.


orangemochafappacino

Don't talk about Drumline that way.


ingeniousmachine

Apologies! A bunch of dumb movies and one absolute classic


CouncilmanRickPrime

They don't actually want to know who he is tho. It's just redditors wanting to bring someone down a notch.


palabradot

Former husband of Mariah Carey.


gaddemmit

I'M OUT HERE WITH NICK CANNON, FORMER R KELLY COLLABORATOR


A_Washer-Dryer

Eminem's son.


[deleted]

I suspect they are never ^ever ^ever getting together


averyfinename

better chance of *me* hooking up with her, getting at least split custody of the resulting child(ren), and collecting 'reasonable' monthly support checks from her.


BZLuck

I still laugh with my high school ex-girlfriend who was MADLY in love with George Michael (the singer) when we were dating. Years later, when he came out, I said to her, "Huh. Turns out *I* had a better chance with him than you ever did."


-LexVult-

Gross


Digimatically

Maximum level cringe


_The_Librarian

Yeah what the fuck is this guy on? That's such a fucker thing to say. Fuck Nick Cannon, all my homies hate Nick Cannon.


mournthewolf

I never understand when comments like this are public. Like at what point does it seem cool to make a public statement that you’d like to fuck another stranger just because you’re attracted to them? Like look, I get it if you’re telling your friends you’d like to sleep with someone. Private conversations are whatever. But it’s so gross to just say that publicly. Like how awkward is that for the other person?


Golden-Grams

>Like at what point does it seem cool to make a public statement that you’d like to fuck another stranger just because you’re attracted to them? How else will he get your attention and feel relevant?


PrivatePoocher

Slimy looking mahfack. Who is having kids with that rat?


PCBuildNerd

at least 6 women, apparently


Avoiding101519

Even with the amount Cannon makes I'm surprised he has anything left after 12 child support payments a month.


Tricky-Engineering59

Maybe that’s why he’s throwing it out there for someone as wealthy Taylor Swift, so he can throw an Uno Reverse card down and get child support from her to fund his expensive habit of being a jizz pig


Avoiding101519

He just has to have babies with 12 richer women than him, it'll balance out.


CelebrityTakeDown

Two of his kids are with a richer woman


farmerarmor

Especially cuz they tend to scale them to what you earn.


Avoiding101519

That's what I'm saying, dude must be paying a shit ton.


farmerarmor

Quick google search says 3 mill a year. Jesus.


DjuriWarface

Which is honestly ridiculous. Brittney Spears was paying Kevin Federline $20k per month plus tuition, school costs, and extracurricular activity costs. What the fuck is $20k going to if those additional items aren't even getting covered by it?


ClassicCodes

The intention, in a perfect world, is that the family (namely the blameless children) gets to maintain a lifestyle to which they were accustomed before the split. I'm sure the children don't benefit nearly as much as the ex in many cases...


King_Julien__

Many people have raised this question and from what I remember, he responded by saying he isn't paying monthly child support proportional to his income. He said something about paying a total of 3 million a year for all kids combined, that sounds like a lot, but not considering the amount of children and him probably making multiple times that annually. He had kids with women who have their own money, not saying that absolves him of responsibility, but as parents, you can come to whatever understanding you want in terms of how to split responsibilities - including the financial side of things. He's not obligated to pay the standard percentage of his income, if the mother is ok with less.


Nezikchened

I mean 250k a year per kid for 18 years will probably set you up for life if you’re smart with it. Especially since some or most of the moms have multiple kids.


CelebrityTakeDown

Two are with Mariah Carey, I doubt he’s playing her child support


[deleted]

At this point any woman who is willing to have a kid with this guy is a dumbass. He is whining about not having enough time for his kids, he literally forgets one of his kids' name, there is no valid reason for him to have any more kids. He's turning knocking up women into some kind of perverted career at this point.


lordOpatties

It's a win-win situation for him and whatever woman he gets pregnant. You do not sleep with Nick Cannon without knowing who he is and I guarantee you at the very least, woman #3 and higher knew exactly who he was. They're in it for the money, plain and simple.


25sittinon25cents

This is the same logic I apply to women dating Leo Dicaprio. Guy's been getting a lotta hate, but I say that any lady that dates him knows by not that odds are they're not gonna last. Hell, for all you know, he probably goes into the relationship saying he's not looking for long term, and the women are still all up for it


Kaiisim

I agree, the individual women likely have no regrets, being Leo's girlfriend looks like an experience. But really the issue is his behaviour reveals his opinion on all women, at least imo.


Fluffy-Basil4275

You too the words from my mouth! It’s all about the $ for these women. They are set for life financially


harpejjist

Until he runs out of money.


stumblios

Just did a net worth check - The internet estimates are only coming up with $20M. I know they aren't 100% accurate, but even if it's remotely in that ballpark, I'd actually say he is pretty poor on the scale of celebrities. T Swift's estimate is $400M, of course he'd be happy to get her pregnant!


asssnorkler

20 mil won’t last long enough for 12 kids, 6 baby mamas, and whatever else dumb shit nick got going


markriffle

How rich do you think he is lol


mighty-mango

He doesn’t even pay child support


Zekumi

Honestly, I’d be all in support of informed, consenting adults engaging in this type of trade-off (sexual gratification in exchange for financial gain, hypothetically) if it weren’t for the little side detail of it *literally resulting in flesh and blood humans being created*. A desire to exercise a kink is not a good enough justification for making a person. We yield this power far too cavalierly—I think making a person ought to be approached with the same seriousness and gravity as murdering a person.


P7BinSD

Yeah, totally not creepy at all. /s


Throwaway08080909070

I hope she responds with an offer to peg him instead.


Clobber420

I'd take it


Throwaway08080909070

...Tbh big same.


garlicroastedpotato

I think she is wealthy enough that she could afford to pay anyone to be pegged.


[deleted]

Wait she’s going to pay me too?


FontOfInfo

What a gross thing to say.


somekennyguy

Can you imagine Swift getting a Grammy for the deadbeat dad song?


chevalier716

You can't be a co-parent of 12 kids with 6 different women and be present in all their lives. This is reckless behavior, he only seems to get a pass because he is wealthy and keeps getting work (for now).


Rosebunse

I can't imagine he can actually afford child support payments for all of them


Huggable_Hork-Bajir

[He doesn't even pay child support.](https://www.pennlive.com/life/2023/03/nick-cannon-reveals-he-doesnt-provide-monthly-child-support-for-any-of-his-12-children.html)


Rosebunse

I'm confused, why would anyone want a child with him?


warmhandluke

In the actual interview he says he pays well over $3MM per year, but not on any sort of schedule and it isn't mandated by the government.


beiscocho

In this same interview he apparently forgot one of the kids’ names! Absolute trash smh.


Clay_Ek

Nick Cannon belongs permanently under r/iamatotalpieceofshit


hiricinee

Remember he doesn't think white people are human. That means he's into bestiality.


historyhill

he thinks w h a t


hiricinee

"White people are closer to animals" I'm pretty sure is the exact quote. Also called white people and Jews savages, pretty much is a black Hebrew Israelite, which isn't necessarily a bad thing by itself but he certainly is a fan of the bad parts.


Tigeroovy

Maybe it's a good thing he's probably not in any of his children's lives.


DiarrheaRodeo

> pretty much is a black Hebrew Israelite, which isn't necessarily a bad thing by itself What are the good parts of the Black Hebrew Isralites? Because in my 40 years on this planet, I have yet to hear one.


Order_a_pizza

https://youtu.be/y30T-mk8-rU


user_account_deleted

Fuck PragerU AND Nick Cannon.


cbessette

He's just looking for some inter-species love!


shermstix1126

Isn't this the asshole who said that white people are less human than black people? Makes sense why he would want to use a pretty white woman as his next sex doll to satisfy his weird ass breeding kink.


[deleted]

He's creepy AND racist. What a stellar human being


Pathetian

Racists are usually sexist too, so it probably doesn't matter if she "less than" on those grounds.


KrustyKrabOfficial

He said that about Jews AND white people on a podcast. He should probably stop going on those, at this point.


Shadesmctuba

Jeez I don’t even really like Taylor Swift but I feel bad for her from the attention this article is getting. It’s fucking gross and so unnecessary. A total stranger says out loud that he wants to have sex with and impregnate you in a public forum? Who the fuck needs that? This guy is so full of himself he actually thinks “yeah I would let Taylor swift have my babies” is an okay thing to say? As if it’s even a question if she’s interested or not? He’s just going to skip right past courting, relationship, casual sex, marriage, and go straight to having babies? He is not okay, and for the love of all that is holy these women need to stop having his kids.


Hecticfreeze

This dude was happily married to one of the most beautiful women in the world. But instead of contentedly fading away into the best retirement ever, he decided to stay in the public eye, go completely insane, divorce his wife, proceed to impregnate every woman he possibly could, say a bunch of unhinged shit about the Jews, start naming his kids by opening the dictionary to random pages, say a bunch of unhinged shit about anyone who isn't black, forget one of his kids even exists, try celibacy for 5 minutes (he immediately made another woman pregnant), and now he wants to get TS pregnant? Somebody please keep this man away from Taylor Swift


Rosebunse

To make it better, his divorce from Mariah Carrey is probably what is funding all of this.


veracite

I’m sure Taylor swift is going to keep that man away from Taylor swift.


lapsangsouchogn

Pretty sure she doesn't need the child support, which is the only reason I can see anyone sleeping with him.


cariocacanadense1

I am pretty sure Taylor Swift has a brain....


Starrion

When spreading one's wild oats, try not to use a John Deere tractor capable of seeding an acre in 2 minutes flat. Industrial baby farming should not be a thing.


semiomni

Nick "people who have “the lack of pigment” are “a little less” than those who do, and have “a lack of compassion.” " Cannon would like to have a child with Taylor Swift? Seems inconsistent.


GrimmOfThrones2187

TOO MANY QUOTATION MARKS!


semiomni

Oh it's fine, Nick "stuff" Cannon


GrimmOfThrones2187

Better.


deltr0nzero

He’s just hoping she’ll have to chip in on the child support, it’ll be the one kid he wants to raise full time


CustosEcheveria

Man is a menace, keep your dick in your pants dude


smurfsundermybed

He says that about everyone and even a few inanimate objects.


RemoteLocal

Treats objects like women!


Rossismyname

Yes I'm sure Taylor swift would love to be a single mother, its every women's dream!


yoggsmu

STAY AWAY FROM HER


slapnoodle

Dude is a predator


feedmesweat

Also worth mentioning that Howard Stern is a huge fucking creep for putting this question on the table in the first place and then bringing her name into it.


finnjakefionnacake

>Also worth mentioning that Howard Stern is a huge fucking creep ~~for putting this question on the table in the first place and then bringing her name into it.~~


DiarrheaRodeo

Are you new to knowing who Howard Stern is?


eighty2angelfan

Sounds like he's all in raw every time


Van_GOOOOOUGH

Eew. I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to have a baby and if she did it wouldn't be with him.


[deleted]

and then not be in the kids life because "thats white people shit"


SOSovereign

Someone needs to give this guy a vasectomy in his sleep


_iamnotgeorge_

Swift-Cannon... Edit: at some point he should be asked if he knows condoms... That raw-dogging STDspreader...


bigbigjohnson

Dude can’t even pull out of a driveway


sebuptar

Modern-day romance is just publicly asking someone if you can inseminate them


Kind_Bullfrog_4073

Obviously. Have a baby with Caitlyn Jenner if you really want to shock people.


Brainchild110

This is only creepy. That's not humourous in any way. He's suggesting publicly he would happily have sex with someone who hasn't met him, hasn't asked for his opinion and that he just wants to bang. And is using the press to do it. What a sick weirdo.


molliem12

Taylor has more class than that. 😣


Rockytana

This is gross


useradmin

JFC, he’s a creep.


FlamingLion

You mean THE nick cannon, famous R. Kelly collaborator!?


ombada69

Nick cannon is an anti Semitic bum.


film_composer

I'm worried that Nick Cannon knows something that the rest of us don't about the climate wars coming in the 2040s, and he's growing his personal army now before we all figure out what he already knows.


SloanBueller

Beyond creepy at this point.


AutumnLeaves1939

How fucking weird and disrespectful… a 6 year relationship would be a tough one to transition out of. Not surprised Nick Cannon knows nothing about that.


Electronic_Rub9385

This guy is so toxic and malignant. He’s a race supremacist and I don’t understand why he is still supported by media.


[deleted]

He's a piece of shit.


Amizzilia

Ew.


Andrewskyy1

There is a very important distinction to make with people like Nick and Elon that has tons of kids.. they are *having kids* .. NOT *raising kids*