There is nothing wrong with wanting this experience but in the context of a relationship that is monogamous this is not the norm. Does it happen? Sure but it’s rare.
You can’t expect your boyfriend to be okay with it. Either he is or he isn’t. And obviously he isn’t.
If you guys want to use proper terminology it would be MFM. MMF typically means there is some guy on guy action. MFM means basically swords don't cross, its all about the woman etc. Of course once you get to this level of sexual interaction there is always bleed over, but that would be the typical terminology for what OP is asking for.
It's not gay when it's in a three-way. It's okay when it's in a three-way. With a honey in the middle, there's some leeway. The area's gray in a one-two-three-way.
Totally. My fiancé always says “it’s gay/weird to be naked in front of another man” when we talk about it but he also played sports forever and showering with dudes in the locker room is totally fine and not gay/weird because it’s not about sex lol
I think you might be a little misled by how normal a threesome is. I wouldn’t say it’s something most people do or experience. I’m in my mid 20’s, been with 14 sexual partners and 3 long term (2+ years) relationships and I have never had a threesome, never been invited to a threesome, and I don’t know any friends who have had threesomes. Having sexual desires is totally okay, but don’t feel like you’re missing out on “something so normal”. It’s generally not very normal and considered something pretty sexually deviant.
People mix up "normal" and "acceptable" too often imo. Threesomes are rare, but assuming everyone consented, there are very few people prudish enough to raise Cain over the fact you had one.
I mean, I think it depends on if you're a man or woman.
I have 7 past partners. One threesome (FMF, so me and the other woman didn't do anything together. She was not attractive to me at all). And I've had at least 3 other instances in real life where I had blatant opportunities to be part of a threesome.
It's definitely not normal though. Probably because it's usually not good for all 3 people. It's usually only good for 1 person, who is the focus of the threesome or getting all the attention. And it will destroy any relationship.
In my mid 20s, I was around the same situation as you.
Now, I'm turning 40 this year and I've had threesomes, foursomes, and orgies.
It's all about what you and your partner want. My first spouse and I both wanted to be monogamous, but I got cheated on and we got divorced. My second spouse and I are in an open marriage, we both have other partners, and we're both happy with the situation.
Idk I’ve had a few threesomes also 20sF and honestly they’re more fun outside of a relationship 😂 when you don’t ~love~ anyone involved it’s just fun, especially FMM 💀
Different walks of life for everyone tho!
This. I almost did with my ex because he suggested it a lot, and pushed it so i was kind of open. We never ended up having one and im glad tbh. Turned out I just wasn't truly satisfied with our relationship or sex. I'm so madly in love with my current partner, I want nothing to do with another person in the bedroom. I don't have that empty feeling like I did in with my ex. Just my personal experience though! I know people have consensual threesomes all the time and it's fun/good in their relationship, but I think you need to dig deep and ask yourself a lot of questions about why you want one.
I feel the same way about my current partner (and past). With my ex I was always wondering what else was out there, I’d have fantasies about other love stories I could’ve had. We just weren’t right for each other.
With my current partner I count myself lucky every day that I found him before someone else. I’m not jealous of anyone and I don’t crave or fantasise about anything or anyone else. I thought it was just normal to do that in a relationship. If you are, you’re either with the wrong person or you’re not ready.
I went through this post with my bf and I feel reassured that I better understood the situation than people on the internet. And it’s really not that big of a deal
That’s good, the key to a healthy relationship is keeping that line of communication open. I’m impressed with the level of maturity that both of you have displayed. You both have put to shame most of the commenters here.
If he doesn’t want one, you can’t force him to have a threesome. If it’s something extremely important to you, honestly leave him if you think the experience is something you have to have.
Decide what’s more important to you - your current relationship or your desire to explore. Then dump him or don’t.
Don’t try and force him into something that he’s explicitly said he isn’t into. That said, 22 years old is young to be settling without seeing what else is out there in my opinion.
Mourning that loss will just lead to resentment and eventually emotional cheating or worse.
Just end it and go have your ho phase and let that poor guy go find someone that actually wants to commit.
Took me two years to finally understand this. My ex girlfriend broke up with me just to have sex with different people and I still feel some type of anger towards her. It’s not fair but it what it is
It’s wild imo to compromise with your first ever partner especially if this person thinks about it this much. They really should just leave and explore some other stuff.
he doesn’t want that, you likely won’t get that from him. if you truly want different sexual experiences, you’ll get that whilst not in a relationship.
honestly, i’ve had a threesome while in a monogamous relationship. it ruined a perfectly good thing, i’m a male and it was with two females. i absolutely hated it so so so much.
also best way i can describe it from a guy’s perspective is;
trying to watch two tv’s at once and being asked questions about both at the exact same time.
It's weird how threesomes are seen as normal 😂 because they're not.
I feel you girl, I been there. But your love for your bf will over power that desire and you'll move on 😊 or later you'll break up and have the chance! You're only 22, you're not a late bloomer.
In my experience, one party in a relationship wanting a threesome this badly is usually an indicator that there is something wrong, and the relationship is already doomed. I hope that's not the case for you, OP.
Redditors are so weird, not the op but the commenters saying just wait till you’re broken up or your next and then someone even said break up and if you’re meant to be you’ll find your way back together lmao😭 I’m praying I never cross paths with any of there people in the real world, I’d leave the second it was suggested
I second this. I've done both MMF and MFF. Both were OK but can be a little awkward especially if you've arranged it and it isn't spontaneous. Then there's the aftermath. Jealousy, doubts. That's not fun. It is something I would do again though.
I had a threesome with my GF and my coworker. Horrible call. We got stuck in a love triangle for 8 months. It was hell. Don’t matter how many time we tried to break it off with her, she kept clinging to us. I had a GF at home and a GF at work. Hated it. LMAO.
Do yourself a favor, experience a threesome when/if you’re single and all parties are single too.
these comments are kind of wild for coming at you for just sharing a fantasy of yours. if it helps, I think threesomes are actually very overrated. I've had 3: one when I was in a relationship, one with a couple, and one with 2 virtual strangers. they were fine but honestly not that remarkable. however, I completely understand wanting to experience something once just to try it, even if you know it might not be great (me with car sex lmao)
This right here is probably the crux of most of these redditors' comments. Bc the same dudes who will hound me for a threesome, tell me it's okay if I see women in a **monogamous** relationship, etc, will become realllly fuckin nasty if I shut em down with a "oh you want a threesome? Your buddy's kinda cute ig". I understand the whole "we tried to open up our marriage and all I got were these divorce papers" but the same thing can be said for having a child to save a marriage, any last ditch effort taken out of fear, unhealthy attachment, usually bad boundaries and rushed actions, doesn't end well.
But this isn't that, y'all. She's not saying she's hounding him, she knows it's okay he's never gonna want it and said herself she'd never want him to feel like she's forcing him, but the weird mixed signals? It sounds at best like something he needs to collect his thoughts on and come to the convo more eye to eye, not "I just found out your dirty secret and now I'm gonna tease you for it". At worst, it sounds like something that he's doing to punish her out of liking. She says "is it so wrong" not in entitlement, but in wanting to be free of judgement in her own relationship. I think that's the important part, she doesn't want to be made to feel less than, she wants it to be okay for *both* of them to feel how they feel and respect each other's feelings.
Well duh, when women have sex with each other it’s just to please guys! It’s not like there are women out there who are in genuine relationships with each other, it’s just fun!
Imagine thinking lesbians are an actual thing and not just a porn category 🙄
Consent is everything and he does not consent.
Either forget about asking for the threesome or dump him and go for a man who IS happy to share you (this may not work out well for you).
What you absolutely must not try is offering up a FMF threesome and then trying to leverage that into ‘it’s only fair if we do the MFM now since you’ve had your fun and it’s my turn now’ - that will wreck your relationship.
I think a bunch of people are missing a key bit of context. (He is) "Even dangling it in front of me like a treat at times." It's okay for her to have the desire. It's okay for him to not want to. What is not okay is that. If he is teasing her with it that's just wrong. OP, consider how important this experience is for you. If you can be happy without it and your relationship is otherwise good, then just be happy. But also be firm with him that he does not want to do this with you then he can't keep taunting you with it. Just let it go.
And you just casually ignore the part where she brings up multiple times that she wants a threesome in a monogamous relationship which was not agreed upon entering said relationship? That’s not okay. What he’s doing is not okay either but I think suggesting that she wants to step outside the relationship for the sake of a threesome is much worse. Either leave him for your threesome or stay with him and be monogamous.
I feel like everyone is being quite harsh on OP, this is an extremely common sexual fantasy and she is not implying its extremely important for her to experience this or that she is in some way trying to pressure her boyfriend into doing something he is clearly uncomfortable with.
The thought of the experience itself is a common fantasy or kink, as is specifically wanting to do it with a partner. She is in no way implying that this is anything deeper than a kink and the majority of comments are reading this and making assumptions in bad faith on her character, she clearly likes the thought or idea of a MMF threesome which is an entirely normal fantasy, some men have a FFM fantasy too.
Don't feel guilt about what is nothing deeper than a kink, you seem emotionally mature enough to understand this yourself.
I can’t believe everyone is coming for you. I feel like a lot of responses are rooted in misogyny because a dude expressing he wants a FFM threesome would not garner the same responses, I’m sure. It’s a totally normal fantasy. This is off my chest subreddit, you’re just expressing that it sucks lol. Which is does to have a partner not be on the same page with a kink, but it’s something you grieve and live with like you’ve said !
I've read through a lot of the comments in here and I think a lot of people have similar ideas and opinions which lead towards "if you entered the relationship with monogamy in mind then some time later spring the idea of a threesome of *any kind* on your partner, yeah they might be shook up by that idea." OP isn't wrong in any way other than possibly trying to keep this relationship going while also really wanting to pursue this sexual fantasy. The OP's BF "dangling" the idea in front of here does sound weird but at the end of the day, if he doesn't want to actually go through with it, then OP needs to decide what is more important; the current relationship or the idea of having a MMF sexual experience.
I’m in my mid 20’s and my husband is in his early-mid 30’s. If we made a list of all the people each one of us knows who have either openly fantasized about having more than one sexual partner at once, and those who have actually had a threesome, it would be too long to count with our fingers.
Threesomes are not normal lol. That probably actually really hurt him by you saying you want to have another man in bed. That shit can fuck dudes up. If it’s something you have to have then break up with him, that would 100% be the best for both parties
It’s okay that you want to and it’s also okay that he doesn’t want you. It’s not okay that he dangles the carrot with it, and you should have a conversation about that.
I (54m) hope your relationship doesn’t end over this but my marriage is ending because my wife (45f) wants to be a dom and experiment in the bedroom with toys and other people. Did I mention my wife is pansexual, she mentioned it early in the relationship and I even ask if she thought that I would be enough for her and did she have a desire to pursue any kinks. She stated no and that she didn’t. We’ve been to about 7 years and married for a year and a half. About a year ago she started writing online erotica. Then about 6 months ago she started talking about pursuing her kinks with others and was hoping I’d be ok with her taking off for a week at a time to live out those desires. As I’m not comfortable with my wife doing that, we have decided to go our separate ways.
So young. Ahem, what you mean to say is, I really like the IDEA of a 3 some and find it very sexy. But the reality is likely very different and has way more potential to destroy my relationship with my significant other than assist it in any way shape or form.
It’s okay if you, at some point, decide exploring your sexuality is a need. You just have to come to terms with what that may or may not mean for him and your ability to be together.
If he doesn’t want it then I think it’s a closed deal.
I feel like whenever I read women posting this about their male partner the comments are so incendiary. Like dump that pos etc lol
I'll say this: if you're looking for a threesome, do it with strangers. Someone's feelings always get hurt when you have one inside of the relationship. Whether they feel you were spending too much time on the other person, they way they looked at you, them doing something with you that perhaps you are hesitant about doing with your partner... I mean whatever the reason or excuse is, it rarely works
If your boyfriend isn’t okay with it, then you need to respect him or move on if it’s a dealbreaker.
If not being able to have sex with someone else bothers you that much then this relationship isn’t going to last. You could break it off and experiment with other people if that’s what you really think you need to do. But if you love this person and want to stay with him, you’re going to need to find ways to satisfy your sexuality in other ways that he is comfortable with too.
Wow “normal”? Define normal. In what world is 3sum normal? It’s not normal. A monogamous relationship with 1 sexual partner, that’s normal. Anything else outside of that is not normal. If you really fell like, tell you partner to use a dildo and do a double penetration on you. That’s just the same as 3sum.
He dangles the threesome infront of her to be a dick but you guys are mad because she has a threesome fantasy? Reddit is wild sometimes. I think it’s okay to have fantasys/desires, but to be like maybe we will sometimes just to be rude is weird. Why bring it up if he isn’t down? Sorry everyone here is acting like youre holding him at gun point to have a threesome lmfao. But if you truly wanna go explore all that it’s best to just break up instead of asking because 99% of the time they aren’t gonna be down. Best of luck op
Girl don’t let people shame you into thinking this is wrong. Different people have different fantasies. A threesome is actually a common female fantasy but women are shamed into not talking about it. I love that you are open and direct with your boyfriend about your sexual desires and fantasies.
I am also a female in a committed relationship who desires threesomes, not because I’m unsatisfied, but to me it’s an experience that’s an extension of our current relationship. And he’s great with it.
Sometimes two people aren’t sexually compatible. Sometimes young people aren’t really to settle down and need to explore their sexuality. Sometimes couples are meant to be and have to make sacrifices or compromise. Only you know which is your situation. But you’re not wrong for having desires. And don’t let anyone tell you differently
Just speaking from personal experience,
A threesome isn't "normal" experience. I was completely unhinged in my twenties and sex was basically a large part of my life. Outside of happily married swingers and crazy wenches like myself, I've never really heard of a healthy monogamous relationship trying a 3-way and the relationship not completely exploding.
I've had both kinds of threesomes and it has been awful each time. Someone ends up upset and crying, no-one knows who to be paying attention to, once everyone's finished the lingering shame lasts for so much longer than any fun that was had.
If I was to go back in time, I would not let my partner talk me into a threesome with his female friend. I would also not have gone home with those two dudes from the bar who wanted to try being with a woman.
Honestly I think any sex without an even number of people is just asking for trouble. Sex should be like a buddy system. You have one person you are devoted to making sure is having a great time.
That being said,.I bet a 4 way with another couple would probably be awesome.
Most people want their fantasies to stay in their heads. It’s fine to want it. It’s not fine to push partners.
If you’re actually gonna do this in a relationship, I would wait til you’re older and hire a sex worker. You want a fantasy not a disaster.
Keep speaking your mind and expressing your desires. Either you’ll come into alignment or you won’t. Both are okay and wanting something like this isn’t weird or wrong. The more you talk and think about it the clearer your mind should become.
Hopefully you get your wish one day. I had many offers from the age of 21 all the way to my 40s but somehow it just never panned out. Closest I came was tag teaming a girl with my buddy. Not having a threesome or at least getting a two girl bj is one of my regrets now. Oh well.
I'm jealous of women because of the possibilities you have for ffm. Sometimes I like to watch dp porn and that looks like the most pleasure a human being can experience.
What's the "dangling like a treat" part coming from? When I don't like the idea of doing something I don't typically egg the person on with the idea that it might happen. No hate, just curious.
Going against the grain of commenters here. It is okay that he doesn't want to do that but it's NOT okay for him to dangle it over you because you have an interest in it when he knows you aren't going to break the boundaries of the relationship to fulfill it.
You asked and he said no and you respected his decision enough to not seek out participants.
Him teasing you about it is rude and not respectable behavior. If you were pressuring or nagging him over it then you would be in the wrong but just having a fantasy?? It's simply not his right to tease you about it because he thinks you'll never leave him ( maybe you won't but if he acts like this idk if I would personally put up with it ).
I would say never say never to the possibility though. He is your first but as you mention being sheltered I understand wanting to explore yourself but you are going to have to decide what you want more, the opportunity to do things you can't do in a committed monogamous relationship, or stick with a guy who mocks you because you honor the relationship instead of doing what you want anyway.
There’s technically nothing wrong with “wanting” it but you have to consider that you’re in a mutual relationship and your partner’s feelings matter as well.
You might want to try something like roleplaying first but definitely don’t keep pushing a threesome on him if he has made it clear he’s not into it.
At some point, you’re both going to need to decide if what you have now is meeting your expectations and, if not, just being honest with yourselves about whether or not you should continue.
Don’t be ashamed for wanting it though; just understand that your wants aren’t the only thing that matters once you’re in a committed relationship.
Also, your PMs are going to be a mess for a while.
I agree with what everybody says, as a male that likes monogamous relationships I would never in 1 million years ever be OK with my girl having sex with another man even in a threesome.
but if that is something you want to try, then I agree that maybe this relationship isn’t for you and that you should let him go . If I ever found out my girl wanted a threesome with another man. I would just break up with her, it's not about being gay or not being mainly. If I am with a woman then I want it to be monogamous and she is only mine. I don't wanna share it with some random dude
What exactly do you think having a threesome will achieve if you need to convince your bf to be in on it? Sure you will get the “experience” you seem to crave but more likely than not it will damage your relationship, possibly beyond repair.
If you really feel like you’re missing out, you should consider breaking up. Otherwise you might end up resenting your partner and destroying your relationship anyways
They only way it seems fair is if you guys do FFM and MMF buts its not a normal thing in a relationship the internet is ruining peoples minds as to what is normal and what isn't. Its quite sad. The internet is good place for knowledge but people like always seem to ruin it and everyones mind is wack and the sane are now looked as the insane for being logical.
Boyfriend should break up with her, just based on the fact that she thinks threesomes are " normal " .
If someone considers something to be normal, they are more apt to want to persuade their partner to do it.
I wouldn’t say that a threesome is “normal” I don’t know anyone who’s ever been a part of a threesome especially someone who’s been in a longer relationship. I think it’s totally okay for you to want to experience new things but I also think that it is totally reasonable for him to not be interested in it.
My wife had a similar desire, and I'll be honest, a bit of hesitation from me. We had a heart to heart conversation, and I found out it was from a lack of variety during intimacy. We compromised in a sense and purchased some toys, learned how each other liked to use them, and had fun. I didn't realize it but I had been having the same feelings too and it really helped us.
Look. You're young. The honest statistical truth is most folks will have multiple relationships and partners before they settle down and get hitched. I'm sure you love your partner, and I'm sure you aren't planning for this relationship to fail, but the likelihood is that at some point, it will.
So, enjoy this for what it is now. If and when this runs it's natural course, you'll be free to explore all kinds of debauchery.
Tldr: don't worry, it'll all work out.
I promise once you convince him of this MMF 3some, that will be the end of the relationship. Some girls with no experience have left for the better lay. Other times the guy can’t handle it and get in his own head. This is something u should try while single. Not in a relationship. It can be successful in a relationship but it’s rare
Playing the odds here.. this isn’t your last relationship. When and if it ends.. during your freedom between relationships.. I’m sure you could find two willing participants.. just saying
It’s okay that you want one. It’s okay that he doesn’t. It’s okay to break up if you want to try other experiences. It is NOT okay, for him to dangle it in front of your nose or judge you about it. Just like you wouldn’t pressure him into one. You are young, and I think it’s time you looked at what you want out of this relationship long term, as it has some red flags hun.
Oh come on some of these comments are a little much. This type of fantasy is very common and yes even normal to have, especially in your 20s. No shame in expressing that, OP!
Either dump him and go get banged or quit bringing it up. I’m genuinely shocked this guy hasn’t broken up with you after you brought it up more than once.
I totally understand you’re simply sharing your desire. You’re not wrong. Your 20s are THE time to figure things out. If you can let go of this fantasy without regret then I encourage you to do so because I SERIOUSLY DOUBT your boyfriend will Ever be comfortable with granting This request. If it’s something you can’t let go (or just don’t want to let go), he isn’t the right person for you. Same thing if he keeps dangling it in front of you when he Knows he has Zero intention of following through.
You’ve been lied to. No, this is not “normal” behavior. One commenter said it best when they said “acceptable” as in sure if that’s something 3 consenting adults want to do… but by no means is this “normal” when applied to the overall general population.
You can do it but kiss your relationship goodbye in short order. Just a matter if the experience is worth it but I suspect in the long run the juice isn’t worth the squeeze. If that’s the life for you then you probably need to be single for awhile
Personally I wouldn’t risk a perfectly good relationship just for a sexual experience. Also you’ve idealized having a threesome so much that you’ll be disappointed in the actual experience
Yea, this is a random and unexpected desire for someone who's only been with the one guy. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but still. And to press it so much? There's something you're leaving out.
OP, admitting your faults and their causes is the first step to working through something. In other words, you’re already one step ahead from where you were earlier. You know what potentially sparked this in you, and with that you can make some good progress (mentally). You got this OP
That’s valid. It’s a lot to come from a sheltered past. I would really sit with it and think of what you ultimately want. You ultimately have to decide if you are okay with not experiencing that and if that will breed resentment. I know you’re likely just grieving not doing it.
Yall are young, so I’m hoping his “trying to make yall even” and dangling it in front of you isn’t a normal pattern because that’s not healthy. He shouldn’t be dangling it front of you like a treat
I do agree with comments saying it’s almost always a relationship death sentence. And I agree MMF is a very common fantasy for women. We just get shamed into not talking about it bc so many guys only consider FFM
girl, same. i’m 6 1/2 years deep in my relationship. we have broken up a few times, and i was close to a 3 some when i was in college but one of my friends ended up emotionally dumping on me and i was comforting him. it was already late at night and everyone went to bed🥲
man, it was with one of the guys i had the most fun with sex and i did sleep with one of his close friends. they both agreed they had fun with me and they def would’ve destroyed me and were willing to😭 still think about it til this day lol. my chances are so far away now 😣
I feel this I’m 23f boyfriend 26m we’ve been going together 4 years but every time I bring up a MMF 3some he’s like “ no chance but I’ll watch you with a girl” or “ no but we can do FFM” 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
I don’t get why people are tryna say you’re forcing him when you clearly said he dangles it in front of you. Do you mean that he says he might be willing to do it and then changes his mind or does he more so hold it against you? Bc it’s fine if he says he doesn’t want to do that but not listening to you explain that you genuinely and the dangling makes me feel like he’s just be one of those “my way only” kinda guys.
“I shouldn’t feel so wrong to want to try something so normal”
News flash it’s not “so normal”
Maybe in porn, maybe in media, but in real life
Most people don’t ever experience this get some help
-she belongs to the streets
Asking your monogamous partner to not be monogamous is not normal. If you had this conversation before you got into a relationship that would be one thing, but my guess is if you continue on this path it’ll end your relationship.
It might be a kink of yours, but not one of his. If he’s uncomfortable with the idea you shouldn’t try to pressure or force him to do anything.
It could be a case that you guys aren’t sexually compatible. It could also turn out that if you do have a threesome- like so many stories on here- it’ll ruin your relationship or could be something you regret doing.
If you can’t live with never having a threesome in your life, and he’s not into it, you need to break up.
Honestly I think you will have to reconcile yourself with the fact that it may never happen. Would you feel comfortable having an FFM threesome with him?
I think maybe you should brake up because you’re young and obviously craving more experience and spontaneity. If you guys are meant to be you will find your way back to eachother
If I were in his shoes I'd be out of the door. I'm not calling you wrong, everybody likes different things but it's something I wouldn't want either. If my wife came to me saying that, I'd 100% leave her.
Btw, insisting won' t work, even if the accepts he probaly won' t be happy about it. Other thing is that, fantasies some Times should remain that way, after you experience them you understand it was just bs and this happens a lot with open relationships
For me you're really young and so just be open to experiences throughout your life and it will happen. It might not happen exactly when you want it to or with that specific partner but trust the process.
It can be fun and then turn awkward and ruin relationships. Your mileage may vary. Don’t fall into the trap of staying with someone who is manipulative.
It’s okay to feel how you’re feeling. You said this is something you really want and expressed this to him. He has made it clear he’s not interested. You now need to decide which is more important to you at this stage in your life. You’re so young and it’s ok to want to explore, but it sounds like it needs to be with other people and he is not up for it.
In one of your comments you noted that “I obviously won’t ruin a relationship over something like this” (paraphrasing)
I think it’s worth for you to take a step back and reevaluate how important sex and “exploring” for you actually is. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a threesome, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to explore either. After all you’re only 22, it makes sense that while you’re still young you want to explore.
Not encouraging you to end the relationship, rather suggesting to take a step back and reevaluate what do you think is more important for you at this stage of your life.
But I generally I concur with everyone else that 3somes are pretty rare and yada yada
Friend, it's totally okay to want that, and it's also totally okay for your boyfriend to *not* want that. However, it's absolutely not okay for him to dangle it in front of you like a treat if it's something he's not open to. I would never tell someone what to do in their relationship but I will say that you're too young to have any sexual regrets. If it were something that crossed your mind every once in a while, I'd say it's not that big of a deal. But you say you really really really want to do it and I believe you - don't let anyone hold you back from trying something you want that badly. If there is no compromise which can be made, ending the relationship may be the least painful route for you. I'm madly in love with my partner of over 2 years and we're monogamous but I have had plenty of experiences before him and so has he. I have no regrets, no wants that aren't fulfilled with him. That's the way it should be imo.
Chances are you’re not going to marry the dude. You are young… My guess is you’ll continue to date him, the relationship will run its course, then while single you will be able to explore.
I get it but also it’s not so normal like everyone said. It definitely falls under kink. I’m sure if you brought another hot woman into the mix he’d be falling all over the chance. It’s like anal. I don’t know many women in my life who enjoy it but tons of men I’ve met have it as their like top 3. However, when the woman says “oh if you take it up yours first!” Then suddenly we’re crazy? Idk. Sorry people are being harsh, 😭 is your sex life otherwise okay? People also suggested toys but a lot of guys are super weird about them. If this relationship doesn’t work out be single and explore your sexuality for a while, it’ll be worth figuring out your likes/dislikes
There is nothing wrong with wanting this experience but in the context of a relationship that is monogamous this is not the norm. Does it happen? Sure but it’s rare. You can’t expect your boyfriend to be okay with it. Either he is or he isn’t. And obviously he isn’t.
Please leave your bf and free him. Find someone who is ok with open relationship and do all amount of some you want.
Open relationships are bullshit. OP needs to date casually and be upfront about what she wants to try and do.
It’s not even easy when you’re dating casually! Men say they’re up for kinky things but then this is always a step too far. MFF is always ok though. 🙄
If you guys want to use proper terminology it would be MFM. MMF typically means there is some guy on guy action. MFM means basically swords don't cross, its all about the woman etc. Of course once you get to this level of sexual interaction there is always bleed over, but that would be the typical terminology for what OP is asking for.
Ah good to know. Though I wouldn’t mind if the swords cross tbh.
What a weird thing to learn today
For men, the fear of appearing gay/un-masculine or insecurity are most likely the biggest roadblocks to a MMF threesome.
It's not gay when it's in a three-way. It's okay when it's in a three-way. With a honey in the middle, there's some leeway. The area's gray in a one-two-three-way.
The golden rule!
Totally. My fiancé always says “it’s gay/weird to be naked in front of another man” when we talk about it but he also played sports forever and showering with dudes in the locker room is totally fine and not gay/weird because it’s not about sex lol
So MMF is different from MFM. Wonder if OP realizes?
You just need to introduce them to the concept of *'no homo*'. I mean, that's really all they have to say and anything they want to do is cool 😅😄
You're kidding...
Something about someone into a housewife or something idk...
I think you might be a little misled by how normal a threesome is. I wouldn’t say it’s something most people do or experience. I’m in my mid 20’s, been with 14 sexual partners and 3 long term (2+ years) relationships and I have never had a threesome, never been invited to a threesome, and I don’t know any friends who have had threesomes. Having sexual desires is totally okay, but don’t feel like you’re missing out on “something so normal”. It’s generally not very normal and considered something pretty sexually deviant.
People mix up "normal" and "acceptable" too often imo. Threesomes are rare, but assuming everyone consented, there are very few people prudish enough to raise Cain over the fact you had one.
“Raise Cain” made me chuckle
Great fried chicken though
HEARD THAT! DROPPING BIRD, DOUBLE WRAPPED PARKING LOT
Exactly, even Barney didn’t have one. Yes I just referenced How I met your mother as if it’s supposed to be close to reality 😂
I mean, I think it depends on if you're a man or woman. I have 7 past partners. One threesome (FMF, so me and the other woman didn't do anything together. She was not attractive to me at all). And I've had at least 3 other instances in real life where I had blatant opportunities to be part of a threesome. It's definitely not normal though. Probably because it's usually not good for all 3 people. It's usually only good for 1 person, who is the focus of the threesome or getting all the attention. And it will destroy any relationship.
In my mid 20s, I was around the same situation as you. Now, I'm turning 40 this year and I've had threesomes, foursomes, and orgies. It's all about what you and your partner want. My first spouse and I both wanted to be monogamous, but I got cheated on and we got divorced. My second spouse and I are in an open marriage, we both have other partners, and we're both happy with the situation.
Idk I’ve had a few threesomes also 20sF and honestly they’re more fun outside of a relationship 😂 when you don’t ~love~ anyone involved it’s just fun, especially FMM 💀 Different walks of life for everyone tho!
Your only 22. You can have a threesome outside of a monogamous relationship when you guys break up.
This. I almost did with my ex because he suggested it a lot, and pushed it so i was kind of open. We never ended up having one and im glad tbh. Turned out I just wasn't truly satisfied with our relationship or sex. I'm so madly in love with my current partner, I want nothing to do with another person in the bedroom. I don't have that empty feeling like I did in with my ex. Just my personal experience though! I know people have consensual threesomes all the time and it's fun/good in their relationship, but I think you need to dig deep and ask yourself a lot of questions about why you want one.
I feel the same way about my current partner (and past). With my ex I was always wondering what else was out there, I’d have fantasies about other love stories I could’ve had. We just weren’t right for each other. With my current partner I count myself lucky every day that I found him before someone else. I’m not jealous of anyone and I don’t crave or fantasise about anything or anyone else. I thought it was just normal to do that in a relationship. If you are, you’re either with the wrong person or you’re not ready.
Why did you feel empty with your ex vs. now being in love with the relationship you're in now? (You don't have to share if you're not comfortable)
HAH my same thought lmao.
Hahaha ☠️ so true!
I'm sorry I didn't read your post!! I said the same thing.
You will experience it after this relationship because there’s a 99.9% this won’t last
Terrible thing to say! But this was also my first thought lmao 😂
Just use a dildo as your third
on her or the boyfriend?
Both
Yes.
This is the way.
How do you feel now that you got that off your chest? Have you had a chance to digest what’s happened since you opened up!
I went through this post with my bf and I feel reassured that I better understood the situation than people on the internet. And it’s really not that big of a deal
That’s good, the key to a healthy relationship is keeping that line of communication open. I’m impressed with the level of maturity that both of you have displayed. You both have put to shame most of the commenters here.
If he doesn’t want one, you can’t force him to have a threesome. If it’s something extremely important to you, honestly leave him if you think the experience is something you have to have.
Plain and simple.
Decide what’s more important to you - your current relationship or your desire to explore. Then dump him or don’t. Don’t try and force him into something that he’s explicitly said he isn’t into. That said, 22 years old is young to be settling without seeing what else is out there in my opinion.
Obviously my relationship is more important than some fantasy I have, but I can still mourn the loss of
Mourning that loss will just lead to resentment and eventually emotional cheating or worse. Just end it and go have your ho phase and let that poor guy go find someone that actually wants to commit.
Took me two years to finally understand this. My ex girlfriend broke up with me just to have sex with different people and I still feel some type of anger towards her. It’s not fair but it what it is
Mourning = feeling like you comprised = unhappy you = bad relationship
It’s wild imo to compromise with your first ever partner especially if this person thinks about it this much. They really should just leave and explore some other stuff.
he doesn’t want that, you likely won’t get that from him. if you truly want different sexual experiences, you’ll get that whilst not in a relationship.
honestly, i’ve had a threesome while in a monogamous relationship. it ruined a perfectly good thing, i’m a male and it was with two females. i absolutely hated it so so so much. also best way i can describe it from a guy’s perspective is; trying to watch two tv’s at once and being asked questions about both at the exact same time.
It's weird how threesomes are seen as normal 😂 because they're not. I feel you girl, I been there. But your love for your bf will over power that desire and you'll move on 😊 or later you'll break up and have the chance! You're only 22, you're not a late bloomer.
Yeah is just an experience is not as common as people think
In my experience, one party in a relationship wanting a threesome this badly is usually an indicator that there is something wrong, and the relationship is already doomed. I hope that's not the case for you, OP.
Redditors are so weird, not the op but the commenters saying just wait till you’re broken up or your next and then someone even said break up and if you’re meant to be you’ll find your way back together lmao😭 I’m praying I never cross paths with any of there people in the real world, I’d leave the second it was suggested
I thought i was the only one. Terrible people
agreed
A threesome is not as good as your expecting.
I second this. I've done both MMF and MFF. Both were OK but can be a little awkward especially if you've arranged it and it isn't spontaneous. Then there's the aftermath. Jealousy, doubts. That's not fun. It is something I would do again though.
Yea dont get me wrong its fun and all but, its not worth ruining a relationship over.
You watch too much porn
Yeah she needs help!
I had a threesome with my GF and my coworker. Horrible call. We got stuck in a love triangle for 8 months. It was hell. Don’t matter how many time we tried to break it off with her, she kept clinging to us. I had a GF at home and a GF at work. Hated it. LMAO. Do yourself a favor, experience a threesome when/if you’re single and all parties are single too.
these comments are kind of wild for coming at you for just sharing a fantasy of yours. if it helps, I think threesomes are actually very overrated. I've had 3: one when I was in a relationship, one with a couple, and one with 2 virtual strangers. they were fine but honestly not that remarkable. however, I completely understand wanting to experience something once just to try it, even if you know it might not be great (me with car sex lmao)
This is actually hilarious bc I hate car sex lol
The streets are calling you!
Lol if my gf suggests a threesome with another guy, I will no longer take her seriously, and start finding another girl.
You should break up before starting to look
but if she suggests a threesome with another girl then it’s fine?
This right here is probably the crux of most of these redditors' comments. Bc the same dudes who will hound me for a threesome, tell me it's okay if I see women in a **monogamous** relationship, etc, will become realllly fuckin nasty if I shut em down with a "oh you want a threesome? Your buddy's kinda cute ig". I understand the whole "we tried to open up our marriage and all I got were these divorce papers" but the same thing can be said for having a child to save a marriage, any last ditch effort taken out of fear, unhealthy attachment, usually bad boundaries and rushed actions, doesn't end well. But this isn't that, y'all. She's not saying she's hounding him, she knows it's okay he's never gonna want it and said herself she'd never want him to feel like she's forcing him, but the weird mixed signals? It sounds at best like something he needs to collect his thoughts on and come to the convo more eye to eye, not "I just found out your dirty secret and now I'm gonna tease you for it". At worst, it sounds like something that he's doing to punish her out of liking. She says "is it so wrong" not in entitlement, but in wanting to be free of judgement in her own relationship. I think that's the important part, she doesn't want to be made to feel less than, she wants it to be okay for *both* of them to feel how they feel and respect each other's feelings.
Well duh, when women have sex with each other it’s just to please guys! It’s not like there are women out there who are in genuine relationships with each other, it’s just fun! Imagine thinking lesbians are an actual thing and not just a porn category 🙄
Das fine, if me and my partner turn invisible to straight dudes I'm honestly entirely for it.
that's on her, she suggested it in the first place lol
nah that’s on you if another girl is fine but another dude is not. that’s just gross.
Consent is everything and he does not consent. Either forget about asking for the threesome or dump him and go for a man who IS happy to share you (this may not work out well for you). What you absolutely must not try is offering up a FMF threesome and then trying to leverage that into ‘it’s only fair if we do the MFM now since you’ve had your fun and it’s my turn now’ - that will wreck your relationship.
I think a bunch of people are missing a key bit of context. (He is) "Even dangling it in front of me like a treat at times." It's okay for her to have the desire. It's okay for him to not want to. What is not okay is that. If he is teasing her with it that's just wrong. OP, consider how important this experience is for you. If you can be happy without it and your relationship is otherwise good, then just be happy. But also be firm with him that he does not want to do this with you then he can't keep taunting you with it. Just let it go.
And you just casually ignore the part where she brings up multiple times that she wants a threesome in a monogamous relationship which was not agreed upon entering said relationship? That’s not okay. What he’s doing is not okay either but I think suggesting that she wants to step outside the relationship for the sake of a threesome is much worse. Either leave him for your threesome or stay with him and be monogamous.
Yea this is def a convo we need to have
THIS. I just commented about it and was shocked how little people caught that piece
I feel like everyone is being quite harsh on OP, this is an extremely common sexual fantasy and she is not implying its extremely important for her to experience this or that she is in some way trying to pressure her boyfriend into doing something he is clearly uncomfortable with. The thought of the experience itself is a common fantasy or kink, as is specifically wanting to do it with a partner. She is in no way implying that this is anything deeper than a kink and the majority of comments are reading this and making assumptions in bad faith on her character, she clearly likes the thought or idea of a MMF threesome which is an entirely normal fantasy, some men have a FFM fantasy too. Don't feel guilt about what is nothing deeper than a kink, you seem emotionally mature enough to understand this yourself.
Thank you lol. It’s just something I want to try 😭 but I can live without it
I can’t believe everyone is coming for you. I feel like a lot of responses are rooted in misogyny because a dude expressing he wants a FFM threesome would not garner the same responses, I’m sure. It’s a totally normal fantasy. This is off my chest subreddit, you’re just expressing that it sucks lol. Which is does to have a partner not be on the same page with a kink, but it’s something you grieve and live with like you’ve said !
I've read through a lot of the comments in here and I think a lot of people have similar ideas and opinions which lead towards "if you entered the relationship with monogamy in mind then some time later spring the idea of a threesome of *any kind* on your partner, yeah they might be shook up by that idea." OP isn't wrong in any way other than possibly trying to keep this relationship going while also really wanting to pursue this sexual fantasy. The OP's BF "dangling" the idea in front of here does sound weird but at the end of the day, if he doesn't want to actually go through with it, then OP needs to decide what is more important; the current relationship or the idea of having a MMF sexual experience.
I agree. I was surprised how many were shaming OP. I’m in my mid 30s and know a lotttttt of people who have this sexual fantasy
I’m in my mid 20’s and my husband is in his early-mid 30’s. If we made a list of all the people each one of us knows who have either openly fantasized about having more than one sexual partner at once, and those who have actually had a threesome, it would be too long to count with our fingers.
You're 22? Just ride this relationship out, then before your next relationship, have your threesome
Bring toys into the room. You can explore that way.
Threesomes are not normal lol. That probably actually really hurt him by you saying you want to have another man in bed. That shit can fuck dudes up. If it’s something you have to have then break up with him, that would 100% be the best for both parties
It’s okay that you want to and it’s also okay that he doesn’t want you. It’s not okay that he dangles the carrot with it, and you should have a conversation about that.
I (54m) hope your relationship doesn’t end over this but my marriage is ending because my wife (45f) wants to be a dom and experiment in the bedroom with toys and other people. Did I mention my wife is pansexual, she mentioned it early in the relationship and I even ask if she thought that I would be enough for her and did she have a desire to pursue any kinks. She stated no and that she didn’t. We’ve been to about 7 years and married for a year and a half. About a year ago she started writing online erotica. Then about 6 months ago she started talking about pursuing her kinks with others and was hoping I’d be ok with her taking off for a week at a time to live out those desires. As I’m not comfortable with my wife doing that, we have decided to go our separate ways.
It will most likely ruin your relationship. Have a threesome when your single and avoid all the drama
Do a quick little "threesome" search on here and see how it's turned out for 99% of people.
Sounds great, right? Unfortunately, these usually end in someone running off with somebody else.
So young. Ahem, what you mean to say is, I really like the IDEA of a 3 some and find it very sexy. But the reality is likely very different and has way more potential to destroy my relationship with my significant other than assist it in any way shape or form.
Good lord, why are people assuming this relationship won’t last simply because OP is young?? Do y’all just date for the “fun of it” or something?
It’s genuinely sickening lmao
If it happens it will be the end of your relationship
It’s okay if you, at some point, decide exploring your sexuality is a need. You just have to come to terms with what that may or may not mean for him and your ability to be together.
Give it time. I remember wanting one when I was miserable in a marriage. Divorce cured that.
Would your bf being one of the M’s in your MMF? If he agreed, would you let him have a FFM?
If he doesn’t want it then I think it’s a closed deal. I feel like whenever I read women posting this about their male partner the comments are so incendiary. Like dump that pos etc lol
I'll say this: if you're looking for a threesome, do it with strangers. Someone's feelings always get hurt when you have one inside of the relationship. Whether they feel you were spending too much time on the other person, they way they looked at you, them doing something with you that perhaps you are hesitant about doing with your partner... I mean whatever the reason or excuse is, it rarely works
Wonder what this comment thread would look like if it was a 22M wanting FMF? Would it be as supportive?
I really want a puppy
I have a dog. She’s a lot older and her allergies are so bad now. I wish she was a puppy too lol
In all seriousness You should go and have a few experiences before you settle down. Don’t want to regret in 10 years Good lick
If your boyfriend isn’t okay with it, then you need to respect him or move on if it’s a dealbreaker. If not being able to have sex with someone else bothers you that much then this relationship isn’t going to last. You could break it off and experiment with other people if that’s what you really think you need to do. But if you love this person and want to stay with him, you’re going to need to find ways to satisfy your sexuality in other ways that he is comfortable with too.
He shouldn’t dangle it as a treat if it’s not something he’s interested in.
Wow “normal”? Define normal. In what world is 3sum normal? It’s not normal. A monogamous relationship with 1 sexual partner, that’s normal. Anything else outside of that is not normal. If you really fell like, tell you partner to use a dildo and do a double penetration on you. That’s just the same as 3sum.
You just want to fuck someone else, but you don't like the idea of him fucking someone else.
He dangles the threesome infront of her to be a dick but you guys are mad because she has a threesome fantasy? Reddit is wild sometimes. I think it’s okay to have fantasys/desires, but to be like maybe we will sometimes just to be rude is weird. Why bring it up if he isn’t down? Sorry everyone here is acting like youre holding him at gun point to have a threesome lmfao. But if you truly wanna go explore all that it’s best to just break up instead of asking because 99% of the time they aren’t gonna be down. Best of luck op
This comment section is not it lmao
If this was a guy, im pretty sure he'd be crucified 10x over lol
Girl don’t let people shame you into thinking this is wrong. Different people have different fantasies. A threesome is actually a common female fantasy but women are shamed into not talking about it. I love that you are open and direct with your boyfriend about your sexual desires and fantasies. I am also a female in a committed relationship who desires threesomes, not because I’m unsatisfied, but to me it’s an experience that’s an extension of our current relationship. And he’s great with it. Sometimes two people aren’t sexually compatible. Sometimes young people aren’t really to settle down and need to explore their sexuality. Sometimes couples are meant to be and have to make sacrifices or compromise. Only you know which is your situation. But you’re not wrong for having desires. And don’t let anyone tell you differently
Just speaking from personal experience, A threesome isn't "normal" experience. I was completely unhinged in my twenties and sex was basically a large part of my life. Outside of happily married swingers and crazy wenches like myself, I've never really heard of a healthy monogamous relationship trying a 3-way and the relationship not completely exploding. I've had both kinds of threesomes and it has been awful each time. Someone ends up upset and crying, no-one knows who to be paying attention to, once everyone's finished the lingering shame lasts for so much longer than any fun that was had. If I was to go back in time, I would not let my partner talk me into a threesome with his female friend. I would also not have gone home with those two dudes from the bar who wanted to try being with a woman. Honestly I think any sex without an even number of people is just asking for trouble. Sex should be like a buddy system. You have one person you are devoted to making sure is having a great time. That being said,.I bet a 4 way with another couple would probably be awesome.
Most people want their fantasies to stay in their heads. It’s fine to want it. It’s not fine to push partners. If you’re actually gonna do this in a relationship, I would wait til you’re older and hire a sex worker. You want a fantasy not a disaster.
Keep speaking your mind and expressing your desires. Either you’ll come into alignment or you won’t. Both are okay and wanting something like this isn’t weird or wrong. The more you talk and think about it the clearer your mind should become.
Yeah that’s a death sentence for your relationship if you guys ever do that lol
Hopefully you get your wish one day. I had many offers from the age of 21 all the way to my 40s but somehow it just never panned out. Closest I came was tag teaming a girl with my buddy. Not having a threesome or at least getting a two girl bj is one of my regrets now. Oh well. I'm jealous of women because of the possibilities you have for ffm. Sometimes I like to watch dp porn and that looks like the most pleasure a human being can experience.
You get me 😭
What's the "dangling like a treat" part coming from? When I don't like the idea of doing something I don't typically egg the person on with the idea that it might happen. No hate, just curious.
Going against the grain of commenters here. It is okay that he doesn't want to do that but it's NOT okay for him to dangle it over you because you have an interest in it when he knows you aren't going to break the boundaries of the relationship to fulfill it. You asked and he said no and you respected his decision enough to not seek out participants. Him teasing you about it is rude and not respectable behavior. If you were pressuring or nagging him over it then you would be in the wrong but just having a fantasy?? It's simply not his right to tease you about it because he thinks you'll never leave him ( maybe you won't but if he acts like this idk if I would personally put up with it ). I would say never say never to the possibility though. He is your first but as you mention being sheltered I understand wanting to explore yourself but you are going to have to decide what you want more, the opportunity to do things you can't do in a committed monogamous relationship, or stick with a guy who mocks you because you honor the relationship instead of doing what you want anyway.
There’s technically nothing wrong with “wanting” it but you have to consider that you’re in a mutual relationship and your partner’s feelings matter as well. You might want to try something like roleplaying first but definitely don’t keep pushing a threesome on him if he has made it clear he’s not into it. At some point, you’re both going to need to decide if what you have now is meeting your expectations and, if not, just being honest with yourselves about whether or not you should continue. Don’t be ashamed for wanting it though; just understand that your wants aren’t the only thing that matters once you’re in a committed relationship. Also, your PMs are going to be a mess for a while.
I agree with what everybody says, as a male that likes monogamous relationships I would never in 1 million years ever be OK with my girl having sex with another man even in a threesome. but if that is something you want to try, then I agree that maybe this relationship isn’t for you and that you should let him go . If I ever found out my girl wanted a threesome with another man. I would just break up with her, it's not about being gay or not being mainly. If I am with a woman then I want it to be monogamous and she is only mine. I don't wanna share it with some random dude
Wait what? I feel sorry about the guy You are in relation with. Dude just think about it you cant be enough to your girl
From experience. The fantasy is always better than reality.
What exactly do you think having a threesome will achieve if you need to convince your bf to be in on it? Sure you will get the “experience” you seem to crave but more likely than not it will damage your relationship, possibly beyond repair. If you really feel like you’re missing out, you should consider breaking up. Otherwise you might end up resenting your partner and destroying your relationship anyways
They only way it seems fair is if you guys do FFM and MMF buts its not a normal thing in a relationship the internet is ruining peoples minds as to what is normal and what isn't. Its quite sad. The internet is good place for knowledge but people like always seem to ruin it and everyones mind is wack and the sane are now looked as the insane for being logical.
Boyfriend should break up with her, just based on the fact that she thinks threesomes are " normal " . If someone considers something to be normal, they are more apt to want to persuade their partner to do it.
I wouldn’t say that a threesome is “normal” I don’t know anyone who’s ever been a part of a threesome especially someone who’s been in a longer relationship. I think it’s totally okay for you to want to experience new things but I also think that it is totally reasonable for him to not be interested in it.
RIP DMs
My wife had a similar desire, and I'll be honest, a bit of hesitation from me. We had a heart to heart conversation, and I found out it was from a lack of variety during intimacy. We compromised in a sense and purchased some toys, learned how each other liked to use them, and had fun. I didn't realize it but I had been having the same feelings too and it really helped us.
If you really want to do this you're gonna have to breake up with him. I don't se any other way. So the question is how bad you want to do this.
Look. You're young. The honest statistical truth is most folks will have multiple relationships and partners before they settle down and get hitched. I'm sure you love your partner, and I'm sure you aren't planning for this relationship to fail, but the likelihood is that at some point, it will. So, enjoy this for what it is now. If and when this runs it's natural course, you'll be free to explore all kinds of debauchery. Tldr: don't worry, it'll all work out.
Are you trying to have another threesome with a man or another woman?
The other option is break up, go live your fantasy but know you will not have your bf again.
I promise once you convince him of this MMF 3some, that will be the end of the relationship. Some girls with no experience have left for the better lay. Other times the guy can’t handle it and get in his own head. This is something u should try while single. Not in a relationship. It can be successful in a relationship but it’s rare
Playing the odds here.. this isn’t your last relationship. When and if it ends.. during your freedom between relationships.. I’m sure you could find two willing participants.. just saying
You need to decide what is more important, being in a relationship with this dude or getting railed by two dudes at once lol either option works
Read enough posts on here you will realise those 3somes don't always end well :-)
It’s okay that you want one. It’s okay that he doesn’t. It’s okay to break up if you want to try other experiences. It is NOT okay, for him to dangle it in front of your nose or judge you about it. Just like you wouldn’t pressure him into one. You are young, and I think it’s time you looked at what you want out of this relationship long term, as it has some red flags hun.
Oh come on some of these comments are a little much. This type of fantasy is very common and yes even normal to have, especially in your 20s. No shame in expressing that, OP!
It's definitely not normal you need to stop forcing your bf
Either dump him and go get banged or quit bringing it up. I’m genuinely shocked this guy hasn’t broken up with you after you brought it up more than once.
Seriously, if a guy posted this wanting two girls, everyone would be calling him all kinds of names and saying his girlfriend should run.
I totally understand you’re simply sharing your desire. You’re not wrong. Your 20s are THE time to figure things out. If you can let go of this fantasy without regret then I encourage you to do so because I SERIOUSLY DOUBT your boyfriend will Ever be comfortable with granting This request. If it’s something you can’t let go (or just don’t want to let go), he isn’t the right person for you. Same thing if he keeps dangling it in front of you when he Knows he has Zero intention of following through.
You’ve been lied to. No, this is not “normal” behavior. One commenter said it best when they said “acceptable” as in sure if that’s something 3 consenting adults want to do… but by no means is this “normal” when applied to the overall general population.
Genuinely HOW ARE PEOPLE JUSTIFYING THIS, she’s okay ig bc all she’s done is ask and ig it’s their relationship but the commentators are insane
You can do it but kiss your relationship goodbye in short order. Just a matter if the experience is worth it but I suspect in the long run the juice isn’t worth the squeeze. If that’s the life for you then you probably need to be single for awhile
Personally I wouldn’t risk a perfectly good relationship just for a sexual experience. Also you’ve idealized having a threesome so much that you’ll be disappointed in the actual experience
Yea, this is a random and unexpected desire for someone who's only been with the one guy. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but still. And to press it so much? There's something you're leaving out.
Yea I guess I had a bit of a porn addiction and this idea stuck around lol. The end 🤷🏾
OP, admitting your faults and their causes is the first step to working through something. In other words, you’re already one step ahead from where you were earlier. You know what potentially sparked this in you, and with that you can make some good progress (mentally). You got this OP
That’s valid. It’s a lot to come from a sheltered past. I would really sit with it and think of what you ultimately want. You ultimately have to decide if you are okay with not experiencing that and if that will breed resentment. I know you’re likely just grieving not doing it. Yall are young, so I’m hoping his “trying to make yall even” and dangling it in front of you isn’t a normal pattern because that’s not healthy. He shouldn’t be dangling it front of you like a treat I do agree with comments saying it’s almost always a relationship death sentence. And I agree MMF is a very common fantasy for women. We just get shamed into not talking about it bc so many guys only consider FFM
girl, same. i’m 6 1/2 years deep in my relationship. we have broken up a few times, and i was close to a 3 some when i was in college but one of my friends ended up emotionally dumping on me and i was comforting him. it was already late at night and everyone went to bed🥲 man, it was with one of the guys i had the most fun with sex and i did sleep with one of his close friends. they both agreed they had fun with me and they def would’ve destroyed me and were willing to😭 still think about it til this day lol. my chances are so far away now 😣
If you want it that bad break up with him and then do that then 🤷🏼♀️
Dump him and go take advantage of your youth. But use protection.
I feel this I’m 23f boyfriend 26m we’ve been going together 4 years but every time I bring up a MMF 3some he’s like “ no chance but I’ll watch you with a girl” or “ no but we can do FFM” 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
Glad that my Gf(F19) is like super down for everything
Then break up, and go have a threesome and do your experimenting that you’ve never had
I don’t get why people are tryna say you’re forcing him when you clearly said he dangles it in front of you. Do you mean that he says he might be willing to do it and then changes his mind or does he more so hold it against you? Bc it’s fine if he says he doesn’t want to do that but not listening to you explain that you genuinely and the dangling makes me feel like he’s just be one of those “my way only” kinda guys.
“I shouldn’t feel so wrong to want to try something so normal” News flash it’s not “so normal” Maybe in porn, maybe in media, but in real life Most people don’t ever experience this get some help -she belongs to the streets
Threesome is normal in porn. Real life is different from porn.
Asking your monogamous partner to not be monogamous is not normal. If you had this conversation before you got into a relationship that would be one thing, but my guess is if you continue on this path it’ll end your relationship. It might be a kink of yours, but not one of his. If he’s uncomfortable with the idea you shouldn’t try to pressure or force him to do anything. It could be a case that you guys aren’t sexually compatible. It could also turn out that if you do have a threesome- like so many stories on here- it’ll ruin your relationship or could be something you regret doing. If you can’t live with never having a threesome in your life, and he’s not into it, you need to break up.
I wonder if he would feel different if it was mff?
If you wanna ruin your relationship go ahead and have a threesome. Someone always end up hurt after a threesome.
Honestly I think you will have to reconcile yourself with the fact that it may never happen. Would you feel comfortable having an FFM threesome with him?
He doesn’t want any kind of threesoms
I think maybe you should brake up because you’re young and obviously craving more experience and spontaneity. If you guys are meant to be you will find your way back to eachother
If I were in his shoes I'd be out of the door. I'm not calling you wrong, everybody likes different things but it's something I wouldn't want either. If my wife came to me saying that, I'd 100% leave her.
Thankfully he is not you lol
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Btw, insisting won' t work, even if the accepts he probaly won' t be happy about it. Other thing is that, fantasies some Times should remain that way, after you experience them you understand it was just bs and this happens a lot with open relationships
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I don’t think the order of the letters matter lol
For me you're really young and so just be open to experiences throughout your life and it will happen. It might not happen exactly when you want it to or with that specific partner but trust the process.
It can be fun and then turn awkward and ruin relationships. Your mileage may vary. Don’t fall into the trap of staying with someone who is manipulative.
It’s okay to feel how you’re feeling. You said this is something you really want and expressed this to him. He has made it clear he’s not interested. You now need to decide which is more important to you at this stage in your life. You’re so young and it’s ok to want to explore, but it sounds like it needs to be with other people and he is not up for it.
It's totally entitled to me lol. Don't bend to the social norm, Go for it as long as you don't hurt anyone including youreself.
In one of your comments you noted that “I obviously won’t ruin a relationship over something like this” (paraphrasing) I think it’s worth for you to take a step back and reevaluate how important sex and “exploring” for you actually is. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a threesome, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to explore either. After all you’re only 22, it makes sense that while you’re still young you want to explore. Not encouraging you to end the relationship, rather suggesting to take a step back and reevaluate what do you think is more important for you at this stage of your life. But I generally I concur with everyone else that 3somes are pretty rare and yada yada
Try toys first before consider extra playmates ?
Friend, it's totally okay to want that, and it's also totally okay for your boyfriend to *not* want that. However, it's absolutely not okay for him to dangle it in front of you like a treat if it's something he's not open to. I would never tell someone what to do in their relationship but I will say that you're too young to have any sexual regrets. If it were something that crossed your mind every once in a while, I'd say it's not that big of a deal. But you say you really really really want to do it and I believe you - don't let anyone hold you back from trying something you want that badly. If there is no compromise which can be made, ending the relationship may be the least painful route for you. I'm madly in love with my partner of over 2 years and we're monogamous but I have had plenty of experiences before him and so has he. I have no regrets, no wants that aren't fulfilled with him. That's the way it should be imo.
Do whatever you want but you nasty
Chances are you’re not going to marry the dude. You are young… My guess is you’ll continue to date him, the relationship will run its course, then while single you will be able to explore.
I get it but also it’s not so normal like everyone said. It definitely falls under kink. I’m sure if you brought another hot woman into the mix he’d be falling all over the chance. It’s like anal. I don’t know many women in my life who enjoy it but tons of men I’ve met have it as their like top 3. However, when the woman says “oh if you take it up yours first!” Then suddenly we’re crazy? Idk. Sorry people are being harsh, 😭 is your sex life otherwise okay? People also suggested toys but a lot of guys are super weird about them. If this relationship doesn’t work out be single and explore your sexuality for a while, it’ll be worth figuring out your likes/dislikes
maybe he’s not the kinda partner you’re looking for now and that’s okay!