No, you haven't lost the game. 29M here, unemployed from the past 4 years, zero savings, struggling with mental health issues, was on the verge of ending my life, literally pulled a stool and rope to off myself. Missed every single dream I had because of resolving family issues. Couldn't able to clear my professional degree final year exams and now working as a waiter in weddings and marriage events for a living. Mother needs an open cholecystectomy surgery but can't provide for it. And lots of other things.
Why I'm sharing all this with you? Because I want to let you know that you're not alone in this. If a useless person like me is trying to improve things and hoping for better days ahead, I surely want you to be positive and don't give in to the negative thoughts.
I can see a lot of positive things in your write-up, dear op. And I'm glad you opened up because I know this feeling of bottling your emotions and then letting them out and seek help. You just need to stay positive (easier said, than done). I'm rooting for you.
Broo...sending all the wishes and blessing to your mom. I'm sure things will work out fine for you and she gets healthy in no time.
Thanks a ton for sharing your side of story. I sincerely appreciate it. :')
I am genuinely at loss of words looking at your perseverance. How did you guys manage to get yourself out of this situation? I too am a little scared on how will I be able to handle myself in such a situation? I’ve never had the courage to start something on my own because of the fear of losing it all.
Stay blessed. Better things are coming. Keep surviving buddy. You never know when things start falling in place. Its easier said then done but trust me we all suffer, just believe and hang on.
Hey brother you’re doing good because the most important part of fuck up is realising it and working on it. Prayers to you and your family will you will surely get everything on track.
Wtf man, this a new a fucking new perspective of life altogether man. I have never thought about it before that some random waiter in a random function could be a fellow fucking redditor with command in english better than my ICSE board classmates. Bro respect for you 🫡. But it still hurts to know that even after being soo educated why do you have to work such a low wage job? Why don’t you start with working in Call centres and all?
It's just life, man. I've tried for better paying jobs in the past and even able to clear their assessment part but couldn't able to clear the interviews due to the mental state I was in. I was having panic attacks and difficulty in remembering anything. I used to get tremors in my whole body, shortness of breath and constant state of mental fatigue. I lost a family member who was like a father to me because of sui\*\*de in 2019 and after that a lot of other things happened which further destroyed my mental health. But I still haven't give up and have dream to complete my professional degree and get a well paying job and look after for my mother.
Hahaha...Thanks man! I guess I held on to few things in order to tell a good story. Plus, waiters with good command over their communication could be a delight for the guest who comes to spend their evening with ease. Usually, I've spent my major time behind the range, cooking food.
Also, I've worked in Teleperformance for Microsoft thou my reasons were to save money and travel for 3 months solo to mountains.
Tbh, Lack of consistency if the reason for low wage.
Wishing the best for you.
Why don't you start a milaap donation page for your mother and start sharing in social media, surely people will donate and you will be able to get her operation done.
Hey man. I hope things get better for you. Just know that you changed at least one life with your courage and positivity. I take a lot of things for granted. I'm burnt out and still working, under a lot of pressure and trying to make things better. You helped me.
U r good at English? Why didn't u try content writing or something? Or maybe tutor? Making money is easy,you just need to try different ways and in this case you r pretty good in writing English.
Hey man, everyone has different timelines. Don't compete or compare yourself with someone else's timelines, just keep aiming at your own goals and chip at them one day at a time.
Yes, there will be bad days but there will be good days too. Cherish it - journaling helps. There are many of us on the other side silently lurking on Reddit and you’re not alone.
Lol, i was OP at 26. No confidence, jobless and no eagerness to do anything. Fast forward five year 96 lpa. Never lose hope. Just be ready to be outside comfort zone and take rejection and drop ego.
At 28, I was emotionally in your position. Maybe bit more than 5k in account but having tried some stuff and COVID, I was in a terrible position.
I restarted. Thought of myself as a fresher, started again and in 3 years, was back on feet. Its really tough to do that at that age but no point in sulking around. Day by day nothing changes but in a year, lot of change can happen.
Actually what you see on most social media is just positive things. It has this bias. Many people who are in your position don't come out in the open. You are brave. We all have been jobless in our own way sometimes atleast. Also there are worse things that can happen. Many successful people who have everything going for them die in car crashes. Just gone in one sec. So this is life. Don't be disheartened. Keep on fighting.
True, in that sense I feel grateful. I was looking at this picture where it showed multiple color blindness deficiency which made me remember about my friend who couldn't get into Navy due to color blindness. Similarly, in many ways I'm blessed yet the fight to accomplish something is always there.
I think everyone else has covered the part where they told you that it’s normal to still be finding your way at this age. Let me shed some light on where you’re messing up:
1. To start with the biggest, get checked for ADHD. Not saying you have it, but a lot of people today who have concentration issues stem from untreated ADHD or AHD. Best to get it crossed off the list.
2. You change jobs / fields too often. You are moving too much horizontally. Not enough vertically. This way, you’re essentially a fresher in every job, with no experience or expertise in anything. Why would anyone take you for a higher pay? What do you bring to the table?
3. Find a niche, whatever it is. Preferably something you’re naturally good at. And start upskilling in it. Give yourself a year to upskill + gain some experience there. Then switch to another role with the same JD and higher pay. Do the switch every 2-3 years to get good pay rises. Make sure you continuously upskill and learn more.
4. People will tell you that it’s not too late. Which it isn’t, but your situation is more due to your own drawbacks. Changing jobs and fields too frequently leaves you a jack of all trades and master of none.
5. Every job starts with longer hours and minimum pay. Until you get to at least 5 years of experience, the market belongs to the employers. Post that, you can find your own standing. If you’re going to always be an amateur, you can’t really complain about the hours/wage.
6. You want to run your own business. That’s not a vision. A vision lies in what you want to do. Do you want a photography business? A soup kitchen? What are you passionate about? A lot of people’s goal is to “have own business” with no passion, experience or expertise for what the business is about.
I am not an expert, but I’m basing this on my own experiences. You gotta be exceptionally good at what you do to make good money. And that comes from dedication and time given to any craft. Climbing up the ladder isn’t the easiest, but staying where you are to go to another ladder means that you’ll never climb.
Thanks for sharing your solution-oriented insights. I appreciate it.
Moving on:
1. To be honest, I had the same hunch once I read about it. But finding the right clinic to diagnose it is difficult. Let me know if you know of a place. Also, how would it help even after?
2. & 4. Agreed, that's completely my fault.
3. Finding a niche is what I've struggled with, which eventually led to point number 2. The change in jobs was to find my niche and not compromise on what I was offered.
4. I don't know why I find it so difficult. Trust me, I don't join with the intention of leaving within a year or two, but somehow the monotony gets to me regardless of the monetary and social perks.
5. Currently, I'm working on a Virtual Try-On startup, even though I have no expertise in developing it. However, I personally feel my life would have been easier in terms of finding the right outfit amidst the thousands of articles on any e-commerce site. Plus, I did a little survey to see if I was wrong or right, and the results were in my favor.
Everything you said in your original comment screams ADHD. I’m in the same boat as you… working to build a business in software from 8 years, haven’t really achieved anything at all. Except for client projects where there is a deadline nothing else can be completed due to distractions and many other things related to ADHD.
I had a heart attack 2 years ago and I narrowly escaped death. It was a wake up call for me to get things on track.
Met a physiatrist and got diagnosed officially and I am on stimulants. My distractions have gotten manageable and has helped my executive dysfunction.
I would suggest you to research your symptoms and see a psychiatrist and get medicated if you do have ADHD, as a first step. It will give you clarity on what to do next. I can suggest you good psychiatrist if you live in Bangalore.
Good luck!
I was living in Bangalore till last year, HSR. Recently shifted back home. But you're comment kindla scary!!! Please take care of your health. And I will dig deep about ADHD thing. Thanks for sharing your side of things.
OP, if you do have ADHD, it isn’t your fault. At all. One of the best parts of a diagnosis is that it helps a person to ditch this guilt and self-blame and shame. Maybe your brain’s just wired differently. So what? You wouldn’t be alone. Once you know how to play to your strengths, things become much better. Not saying you have it, but strongly urging you to test.
Did you have ADHD? What did you do to solve it?
I can’t seem to focus on anything. I’m good at studying yet cannot seem to focus or be consistent. Everyone around see me as being too lazy.
24, jobless for 3 yrs, same story as you can't focus on anything, haven't worked ever since my graduation, never tried any business because of financial conditions, and yes it feels ki everything is slipping away and I've lost the game
you have not lost the gam. but late in the game. its not a T20. its a 5 day test match.
build skills that are in demand. work hard. thats all is required. Or take rebirth and become ambani's son.
Hahaha...or a Corgy which will evetually be owned by Rich Asian.
Also, stopped watching cricket post 2003 world cup. But I got your point. Be like Dravid, 100 balls - 1 run, unbreakable.
I mod this sub and you have no idea how many posts I remove from people who just blatantly lie about their salaries just for internet clout. I see posts claiming 1 crore income as if in senior management; and if you scroll their history, it will be full of porn and half the comments won't even have good grammar.
Don't compare yourself to the internet. Everyone in real life has their own set of problems. Someone can be sufficiently well off and suffer from health problems, they will envy your life instead.
Just drop the comparison games and live in reality.
I may be a little young but honestly I am on the same boat.
24F, Jobless, Single, feel like the game is just starting to turn in my favour.
I had so much dysfunctional family trauma that I was struggling throughout my teenage years.
Did everything by the book and was so unhappy & miserable.
Recently left my job to go freelance. I don't have any clients for now. Picking up new hobbies (from the money I saved). Moved in with my parents. Took therapy for my issues.
I have never been happier. My life is not idealistic by any means but it has started to work for me after 10 years of struggle.
You haven't lost any game. Life is not a game.
I have always seen this phrase "I took therapy " on Reddit. What do you exactly do in therapy? How do you heal something that has already happened in the past and is ingrained in your memories. Just how ?
30M quit my job cuz it was too toxic, unemployed and started learning music. No not to earn money but to keep myself sane. I'm gonna restart my life as a fresher if that's what it takes with no regrets.
Buddy you are not alone, we all face such dark time where we feel lost and no light seems nearby. You woke up today, you have a healthy body, a healthy creative mind and good experience of what not to do. Believe me one fine day you will look back to this time and smile with gratitude that you made it in life. What people show here ia just the success, very few talk about the hustle and struggle. Just believe in yourself buddy.
Bro you still have a working brain, 2 hands, 2 legs, working organs and a functioning heart and you are also getting to experience this amazing mysterious life. Aren't you excited about what's next to come in your life? Just imagine how lucky you are to fight against all the odds just to be alive and to experience this wonderful world. Paise waise ate jate rahenge bs chalte raho mere bhai abhi bohot lambi aur romanchak yatra karni hai 😉
Sorry for what you're going through OP. After a quick read, it looks like you are suffering with ADD. WHENEVER, you have the chance and money, maybe get yourself checked.
Check the doctors here:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/0/d/17cPYUW1sIV2udL3zrZALGCzzIbQWxJnSw3SC3Yt0p9w/htmlview#
Also, you could seek more help from the community regarding any doubts you may have on Discord.
https://discord.com/invite/the-adhd-indian-806941792532168735
Try contacting Nayi Disha in Hyderabad. They should be able to point you in the right direction because they maintain a directory of resources that could be on their website as well.
Yeah, comparing yourself to others is the biggest sin and leads to depression. Delete X, Insta, and anything with infinite scrolling, except maybe Reddit.
If you must compare, compare downwards. Look at the guy picking up your trash, a hawker on the street you live at, or a daily wager pulling his cycle up the bridge; and think how hard it must be for them. This will fill your heart with sympathy.
Better a heart full of sympathy than jealousy and inferiority.
Dude, kudos to you !! You are still fighting harder & I am damm sure you will achieve your goals :) Many 28/29M feel such low it even I feel you. Pls hit me if any help require I am a job holder in CSE domain.
Ahh..thanks!! And I was thinking to remove the post the moment I posted it. God, I was stupid to have miss out on such good and positive vibes for me and for other folks who couldn't find the courage to post it but are reading it.
Also, I'm not sure if you're are working on AR/AI, as my startup is on 3D Virtual Try-On.
Damn, was going through some thinking about the exact same thing at my job. I have always wanted my own business. Haven't really got any specific skills to do so though. This post hit right in the feels. Stay strong man.
I know right, and you wouldn't believe I was about to delete the post. Somehow, my heart said. What could possibly go wrong by being honest and vulnerable. May be someone might read and feel pathetic about me! That's all. Like I ain't know that myself and working on being better.
25M right here, fucked up big time in life did an degree that was not even in my 1% of my interest i just opted for that course because my friends were doing it and let me tell you they are doing fine af in their life rn and me here sitting every single regretting on my decisions even thought of giving up on my self, everyone everything seems 100x better than myself, no social life, no real friends, nothing that motives me total emptiness inside, i have passion for fitness and videography but my parents wont understand my passion they are forcing me to do job that is not even giving me satisfaction, i have to force my self to do job and along with that i have to pursue my passion, life is unfair sometimes but we have to go through no matter what, stay strong big brother everything will be alright at the end just dont lose hope.
Starting a business isn't easy. It takes time, dedication, and sacrifice.
The only advice I can give you is don't compare results with others. 28 is like the teenage of adulthood. So, I wouldn't worry too much about that. There are a few who've achieved considerably in their early 20s but the majority do it well in their 40s.
While it's necessary to give yourself deadlines, it's to be goal oriented and not put yourself in excessive pressure.
Work hard and experience life. Things don't happen overnight, and everyone is in their own journey.
Hey bro, I just wanted to say, you just need to win once! Just 1 successful SaaS launch + exit and you might even get financially free at 28 which wouldn't have been possible if you took a traditional route(jobs), keep trying.
Haha..Fingers crossed but I know that has a very less probability due to technical depth of the project. Its a really difficult one. Virtual Try-On is the concept. Feel free to check it out. Its quite interesting thou.
I love this thread because it's the real face of humanity, men supporting men . It's really a tough world out there for men. To all the powerful men who are holding a fort and no one knows about it . You guys are the MVP!
I know right!
I was about to delete this post the moment I posted out of embarssement or god know's what emotion. But I'm glad that I didn't. So many of us get to share about our struggle stories. Sometimes, our small genuine action could bring so much good.
Thanks man! But to be honest I envy to folks who could focus and work of year in same place to reach at the top. For that's "Wow, how do you do it?".
But I guess the drive to keep learning new things as always been in me or may be I get bored doing the same things again and again. idk to be honest.
Hang in there buddy!
You have tried building something of your own, a path less travelled. It needs courage to switch from job to entrepreneurship. So kudos to you. And all those failures are nothing but learnings/lessons for your upcoming success. All the best!
Also, I was curious. Wanted to know what were the first 2 businesses and what's the SaaS start up you're working on right now?
Thanks for the wise words, I mean there are so much good out here!! :')
Moreover,
1st was Food Truck cum RV on Traveler Style vehicle or ISUZU with an idea of traveling to different states, city, spending a week or two to understand their local pallete and then prepare a small menu using their own local ingredients from nearby farmers or retailers. Stay there for 3 - 4 weeks until there's enough for the next ride, city.
2nd Wedding Photographer - I did execute it and got some really amazing shots, the client was also happy, made loads of good memories with the family in Jhalandar and then Covid came.
Bro, my parents got me jumped 2nd class. I don't know how?? I wasn't even the ace of the class. They must have got some great convincing skills. I guess!
Its really strange how young folks like you are so depressed these days. I know people who started their careers in 30s, some started their businesses in 50s and are successful today. Life is not a path with pre-defined milestones. One has to create their own road. You are only 28 brother. Just focus on yourself and work hard. Leave the rest to almighty. Do not expect, just perform.
I know, I don't usually break it. Trust me!
But I guess, I wanted to share and get it off my chest. Also, we both know even after sharing the situation remains the same. So, I better buckle up and be strong.
, don’t say I lost the game. You are far from that. U r still young and bright future is ahead of you.
Moreover working in various industries means you accumulated more experience and that makes you versatile therefore it will help you to secure better jobs in the near future. The most important thing is that you have attempted to open up your own business although it didn’t work out but that doesn’t translate to you are a failure. You should keep pushing and never give up on it. I see potential entrepreneur in you. So keep hustling.
I think you need the starting push from your close ones; friends, partner or well wishers; the zest is in you; keep it up; never let it die; you will make it one day. All the best.
You have no idea , you are better than 90%with the experience you have got. Don't beat yourself. Karm kiye ja baaki leave evrything on God and fate. Sab sahi hojata hai confirmed.
28 is still young to do a lot of turn around.My friend s have turned around their life after hitting 30s from failed businesses,drug addiction and also huge debts.
You have to take it day by day and also you need to stop comparing with others ,if you keep doing it ,it will mess with your mental health.
From my personal front 6 months is good enough time to turn around a lot of things
Hang in there! Your journey's tough, but remember, every setback is a lesson. Keep pushing with your SaaS startup! 💪 #StayStrong #NeverGiveUp #EntrepreneurJourney
You're very very similar to me. In terms of moving industries, the adhd / memory, and the will to want to start something. (32, M)
Would love to link up with you and see if we can build something together? I've got a few thoughts too.
Get a job and stick to it. Your approach has obviously failed and you need a reality check.
There are a million avenues out there. If nothing then just start off as a swiggy or Zomato delivery guy.
You need to get out of your home.
To be honest, I've been away from my home most of the times, just came back few months back. But only if I can put that feeling of agitation by working on same things day after day. Trust me, it starts affecting my mental health which eventually the quality of my work which I don't compromise. Never! If I'm working, I give it my all and if I can't I just step back. It might sound like an excuse.
Thanks for being staright forward, I intend to put this effort on my startup. This time I will see it through. If it fail I'll make sure I fail like I've never before so that I stop chasing it again and again.
"If you work hard, do your best and give your everything to it, you will surely succeed in it"
This is complete garbage and bullshit. Men can not do anything, men can only do extraordinarily in things they are familiar with. The people who work hard in their familiar domain become "geniuses".
Figure out what you are good at and stop wasting money/time in startups where you are not confident. Sometimes we do not have the luxury to figure out what we are good at, in that case find someone else who is good at something and work with him aka get a job (any job but work with someone who are good at what they do)
Do the best of what you can do in any field...demand follows you....
Finally found some with financial issue in this forum...else all others were millionaires and billionaires here..that too young teenagers and early 20 kids...OMG!!
Hey, thanks for sharing- it’s great that mind is a little at peace when sharing. Your message invites others to open up as well
Please accept this message as an invite for compassionate self-reflection and action-oriented
———
Yes some people are crushing and some not- the distribution of information is not exactly accurate in mass media/social media (same thing, one is slightly more personalized).
In sports, we hear about who won, not lost for the most part. In business, we hear about startups not MSMEs.
It’s all good- it’s just a particular flow of information that many may not be a part of. Just something to be aware of. I usually tread on media carefully and sometimes, mindfully too. Example below:
Say, I compare myself to a F1 driver/cricket player/celebrity/business person- that too a still image or short video. I’d be effectively comparing my entire being to an impression or a click.
However, if I compassionately assess myself from yesterday- I can feel at ease that I am improving marginally and at occasions, I improved significantly. Say I am doing 10 pushups today or eating little better or slightly went out of my comfort zone for a better long term (like you are in a way by sharing and accessing your compassion to yourself)…
and tomorrow I did 12 pushups, more comfortable with eating on time and healthy, perhaps I was too comfortable with sitting on sofa but I spent more time reading a book vs browsing media (in effect, getting ever so slightly out of my comfort zone for a better long-term)
All of this as you can see is compounding benefits with a small act
You have a wonderful fuel in you at this time of your life- you are more motivated in a sense- to create a better life for yourself. Take it step by step, keep consistently improving (no need to be fixated with a goal), just the idea of routine, system. See the improvements over the medium (4-8 weeks) and long term. Journal them for yourself
In terms of finance, I’d suggest take up volunteer work or take up a job at a smaller but stable company (provided you’re up for it). But routine, system and compassion is going to very good for you
Consolidate and build- you’ll be proud of yourself and compassionate with others + yourself. You’ve been handed a golden ticket to start fresh- no baggage, nothing
Pl feel free to reach out for follow-up. Keep well and use this moment in your life as fuel
True words, this shall too pass. By the way I like your evening Village shot, the composition is good.
I have stopped posting the shots post covid as I lost the touch from photography and even the new camera I bought Fuji XT4 is lying still, barely used.
What you read or hear is mostly people want to share(which is mostly good things), I am sure there are plenty of people who are like you. Do not compare yourself to everyone, there will always be people ahead of you, remember, you are not in a race.
Assess your situation and then go on with your life. All the very best to you my friend.
Bro, don't worry. If you're in Delhi, let's meet for a cup of coffee! DM me. I'll offer you a job, but there's a catch: you need to upskill yourself. I'll guide you through everything. I'll share a few courses, and I'll give you 3 months to learn a particular skill. If you can do a decent job after 3 months, I'll offer you a monthly salary with a one-year contract. I run a creative marketing agency here in New Delhi, where we specialize in branding, digital marketing, and web development. I've also gone through a lot of tough years. Please check out the community on r/adhdindia. From there, you can join their Discord channel, which has a community of over 10,000 Indians just like you and me. There's an excel sheet that includes doctors, their fees, states, and reviews—essentially all the support you need, including productivity hacks, offline support events, and much more. Don't worry, everything will be fine
You said, you still believe it’ll workout, & maybe you’re delusional. I don’t have an advice to give, but I hope you always have this belief, hope it works out for ya, good luck
33M here, just shifter my career 360 and doing okayish, 6lpa which is nothing compared to my work experience 10+ years. So no you haven't lost, just remember, life is about the journey not the destination, keep up your high hopes brodda, oh yeah i broke up like 1 year ago too. Still waiting for her to come back.. so yeah...
All those guys who are struggling in life....you really need to start running and working out.
Just leave everything for now...focus on your physical health.
It worked well for me.
Im still struggling ( i have a job though)
But im not that depressed as i used to be.
See, for doing a business you dont have money,
You dont have job...you dont have experience.
But you can run and workout.
It will boost your confidence....give you a positive mindset and ideas will come to you.
Try it.
You quotes make me imagine you a highly compassionate and SS level anime character who never gave up. Thanks mate!!! Ahan..even your name is GOKU. Plus Ultra!!! Go Beyond!!!!
Not trying to mock you.
But you need to first stop masturbating.
Your brain's reward centre is easily saturated and hence you find it difficult to do other tasks to 'psychologically' reward yourself for these accomplishments.
That's why you are stuck with 'dreaming'.
You need to first start getting bored and force your brain to engage with difficult tasks and focused work.
If you have access to any kind of distractions especially 'rewarding' ones it'll be extremely difficult to focus.
Everything that starts has to end, your bad time will end too. I am not saying you do, but never compare yourself to others, set goals for yourself and go about achieving them, this is all that matters. Focus on your goals, it's not going to be easy, but it's been done before, it's being done now, it will be done later.
You haven’t lost the game. I’m just like you and it was me plus a dad which was gone and family issues that marked no end.
One thing that no one has told you here which I’ll tell you- Consistency and low expectations for a few months is key, pick a skill and give it 3-4 hours a day. Every skill works in plateaus and it’ll take a while till you see things change but you have to give yourselves time. With finances, well have a saving mindset and try to optimize life as much as you can. Being a dreamer is great because it keeps you motivated, I for one never had a girlfriend while living in Delhi all my life because of unrealistic financial standards of people but I dreamt about having a fit girlfriend and bagged myself a German girl in Germany, she’s damn near perfect and my first one yet, and I’ve learned so much from her it’s insane.
Regarding the failures you speak of, I was bullied all my life and was deemed a social loser because I was ‘too nice’. Today the same people apologize to me when they see me doing great. Your day will come my man
Your reddit India family will be cheering you on in these comments. Whenever you feel down, just go through these msgs.
Everything will figyre out OP. The trick us to be patience just a little more than what you thought, and keep going.
Tc
I'll not write my story but i have to one thing to say.
When you feel like you have nothing going on in life, that's the time you have to make yourself understand that you've nothing to lose as well.
So, take the risks with logical decisions and go all in. (It may sound stupid, but these kinda people are the dangerous one's who conquers the thrones)
More power to you, Take care !!
> I've changed industries multiple times
that's where your failure is
to reach high levels of salary one requires almost a decade in one industry
at least in my experience
if you're from tier 1 colleges then it might be 4-5 years but you're not
you have switched industries way too many times
learn to just love something and stick to it bro
ignore the "follow your heart" bs
it doesn't apply to everyone
sometimes you gotta love doing mundane work just to make sure your salary is good
This is a pattern I have seen in a lot of people. They feel they deserve more than what they have got because they are seeking some internal satisfaction in work. They want to start their own business but don’t have the balls to take the risk. Work rarely gives satisfaction. It has its moments though.
Just keep your head down and work for 2 years at least. Gain some skill, practice the skill everyday. Start with a small paying job, don’t say no just coz it pays less; everyone’s salary increases.
Bro this sounds like ADHD. I have it, and I can relate to everything you’re saying. Please search for a qualified psychologist to get tested, they would then recommend next steps (whether you need medication or CBT). It will change your life.
Hey Man......
U r just starting in your career don't be demotivated. Think about your families when u get -ve thoughts. It ll definitely motivate you. Due to my stammering issue I was billed by my teacher and classmates. They used to give weird name and always made fun of me but i never lost hope and also never informed this to my parents. This was going until my college. Then I started giving class presentation which motivates me to speak more also started talking with PPL. Now I m working on a bank since 4 yrs attending calls with foreign clients. I do stammers still but it's reduced to 95%.
Please Ping me if u need any job in finance background. I ll love to help u out.
Thanks for sharing your side of the struggles. Its really admirable, how you over come your challenges and keep going strong.
Also, I sincerely appreciate your offer but finance is never my strong suit. Communication, Story Telling, Analystics and Research are my strengths but I hope someone who genuinely needs the job finds your comment.
Here are few pointers that might help:
1. You've not lost man. I saw some people in the comments sharing their story, they have such good command in English. You guys will surely comeback. Remember you guys have nothing to lose.
2. Keep looking for good jobs, do freelancing, be active on other platforms like twitter, YouTube, keep up skilling yourself. Consume good content. Go monk mode. Everything is achievable. If you can't focus meditate.
3. Follow iman gadzhi, alex hormozi, sam ovens etc . Learn business strategies. They will change your overall outlook on life.
At 28, your game’s just beginning, OP. You went to a good college, have lots of different interests and experience in a range of industries.
Have you ever been assessed for ADHD? If you haven’t, please consider it. This sounds like a typical ADHD story. Maybe you could read up about it first and see if you recognise yourself, go for an assessment and take it from there. And don’t worry, ADHD people have fantastic strengths; you just need to know how to max them. Good luck!
ETA: Just scrolled down and saw that several people mention ADHD. I suggest you get in touch with a good NGO in your area that works with disabled/ neurodivergent people. There are many that work with kids but they’ll be able to guide you further even if they won’t assess you themselves.
Bro you're feeling shit because you are comparing yourself to like 0.1% of India. If a particular subreddit is making you feel shit. Then you should unfollow that sub.
Actually, I won't blame the subredit alone but couple more things pilled up but thanks to all of your support I feel so much better already. Its a really beautiful community. A true Social Media with genuine intentions.
You know what, nothing will fuckin change until you decide to change yourself. I can see you easily give up on things and move to something different, and you don't commit your 100% to anything, and that's where the problem lies, grow a pair and stick to one thing for atleast 3 years and then come back and tell me how things changed if you can't the keep crying with your pity party.
I'm 26 with a net worth of approx 7L. Worked for 2 years and 5 months by far. (First person in family to hit the tax payable bracket) Got rejected from the armed forces, took drop from BSC IT, struggled to get into college two years later, struggled with commerce subjects as I was from science, but I just stuck through it, faced the pain and rejection and all the shit given to me, and stuck through, and I am not delusional but I will certainly make it big in life, it's not a dream, it's my goal I have planned for it. Maybe I'll fail a 100 times more but I will make it big.
I'm not gifted neither belong from elite catagory. I just make shit happen for my self and that's why I'm so egoistic and bitter.
Idk this might sound like a stupid advice considering your financial situation but try to go and work abroad, in places like USA , people are more open minded and they believe in many fresh starts unlike India. You will find people getting married there at 50 , causally dating in their 40s , starting their businesses above 50 and stuff like that. India is just the worst place to be on earth if you dont conform to the traditional ideas and timelines( which are stupid) of life.
32M, made significant money starting at the age of 25. That's when I left my job. I have decent funds in my bank but lost my mom in the process. I came from nothing. I left a corporate job and ran a grocery store because I never did it with the intention of making significant money or I wanted a sophisticated work. I always wanted to do some business, small or big. In my younger days, I have even sold momos on the street with my mom and clothings too and a lot of random stuff.
You have a mom feel lucky about that friend. I have the money but I miss my mother, I remember I used to get annoyed at her and we had arguments on petty things becuase I was so into the money making thing. As I started growing mature, I became more tolerant and I started realizing why do even be so aggressive. It seemed so illogical to me. I became more patient and kept the money number aside becuase the more I chase the more I lose my mind.
I just feel doing things at my own pace now.
BTW it's a long story how I managed to secure a good amount of funds but honestly it was Hella tough, constantly worrying, lost my hair, had poor lifestyle. Guess we have to pay a price for it but I never gave in. I just kept going and ignoring what others have their opinion on me, never cared about winning or losing. I just kept myself busy. Never spent recklessly on stupid cars and stuffs. Saved every bit.
Just do what you like friend. Jo kismat mai likha hoga vo to hona hai, one can't escape it. Just keep going. Winning or losing is just a part of it.
There’s comes a time in every man’s life where he’s in the cross roads and he’s lonely and there’s nobody to guide him and neither does he have generational wealth but, if we all gave up who how will we all respect ourselves? Fuck what society cares about your or anyone else. Look at yourself In the mirror and make sure you fucking do whatever the fuck it takes to achieve it. Don’t give up man. Rooting for you as we’ve all been in the same situation someday or the other:
I agree with you. I've been taking all the action in my life thinking about one things. When the last moment comes and I look back to my life. I DO NOT REGRET.
I might be feeling low right now but somehow deep down I won't settle for less. I keep telling this myself and everyone of you on this subred has supported me. I can't express the gratitude. Thanks a lot!
Well considering this I should die at 33, but we all know it's a stupid thing to even think about . Your life isn't someone else's life , your race your pace and eventually you'll settle down . Trust the process and keep going on
Stay focused bro you will land a job sooner rather then later, last year around this time I resigned from my current job as I had a good offer but then couldn’t continue because of the work policies and other things was without a job for three months, all the savings down the drain missed on credit card payments as well but eventually i was able to land a job and now everything is back on track. Just remember one thing not every job you do you are going to enjoy because at the end of the day you are working for somebody else. Also there is nothing wrong in dreaming look for something that you are truly great at and figure out a way to monetise on that. Kudos and all the best for the job hunt. Dm me your cv and I will see if I can refer you somewhere.
U're not the only one. In fact majority of the people these days are in that position. Even people from good colleges and good families are jobless after trying for upsc and other govt exams. It's becomecommon tosee 30 yo unemployedpeople
Keep going and you'll find something eventually and settle down.
It's not easy to find your calling and you have the balls to risk it all and go find it.
Mate pivot! Keep your options open. If you think you can do better elsewhere just take a leap of faith. There is no such thing as a perfect opportunity. You create them not the other way around.
If you keep comparing yourself to others, you will always lose the game. Even when you become a millionaire, there will be a billionaire out there waiting for your attention.
Sit back, and learn to find if you are better than yesterday or not.
25 f .
Average job in Mumbai but when I see other people earning so much especially my friends I wonder what will happen.
No man even commits to me so there's that depression too of being expired by 30
You haven't lost anything, Life is much more than being in comfortable slab, you seems ambitious make full use of it, Money and others things will be sorted once you focus on 1 thing at a time.
Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara, why fit on others parameters, Explore make mistakes be vulnerable and come out stronger than last version. You still have 40 yrs of young you :)
Not sure of your exact situation beyond what you told here, but I am 40+ and would give anything to be 28 again even with your situation. The biggest advantage you have is you are young. Try to figure out what line of work clicks in the next couple of years. Meanwhile, develop some routine. It can be anything as consistently waking up at 5 a.m. or running for 30 minutes every day or reading a book for 1 hour every evening. Pick up an achievable target and do it consistently. I promise you, if you follow that, the rest of your life would fall in place.
I just turned 28 a month ago, unemployed, blind in left eye, extremely low vision in right eye too. Struggling finding a job because "currently don't have a position for VH person". Thought about how dying would have been easier than this. Only reason I'm still here is because of my parents, don't want to break their heart. Don't even have a girlfriend and probably never will because of my eyesight. Life is just unfair to some people, and there's just nothing we can do about it.
Man, I get it. I'm about to turn 30 in a few months, and I'm unemployed, broke, drowning in debt, and feeling mentally paralyzed. Every day feels like a loss, and time just slips away. I constantly wonder if it's worth it and what the point of living like this is, but I don't want to die. I give myself excuses like responsibilities and family love to keep going.
I've always been passionate about business, but my family wanted me to get a job. I was a bright kid, and my earliest memory is realizing that my family was poor and struggling to take care of three kids. I grew up too fast under the influence of expectations & responsibilities and have never truly felt happy in my life.
I've never accomplished anything significant. I wasn't good at studies, and my education feels like a waste. I wasn't good at sports or at the jobs I had in the hospitality and event industry. I'm skinny, with no physical stamina or strength.
All I see around me is darkness. But I'm trying again and will start a cloud kitchen in Ahmedabad. After multiple failures, I'm scared, and it's very challenging for me to gather the courage to attempt one more time. It's been a lonely journey and always will be-nobody cares about you if you don't have anything to offer. People tend to stick around only when they can benefit from you, and once you're down, you quickly realize who truly cares.
Building a business and working on yourself takes time man. It's much easier to get a job and work for them repeatedly without work satisfaction. Keep trying and you will get there. 28 is still in 20s only.
Just keep at it bro. Everyone's story is different. Great things take time. I am a AA younger you identified I can't work for someone. Started multiple ventures had a couple of good successful ones got comfortable COVID happened.
Got back up and failed twice. Now at it again. Giving up is never an option.
No, you haven't lost the game. 29M here, unemployed from the past 4 years, zero savings, struggling with mental health issues, was on the verge of ending my life, literally pulled a stool and rope to off myself. Missed every single dream I had because of resolving family issues. Couldn't able to clear my professional degree final year exams and now working as a waiter in weddings and marriage events for a living. Mother needs an open cholecystectomy surgery but can't provide for it. And lots of other things. Why I'm sharing all this with you? Because I want to let you know that you're not alone in this. If a useless person like me is trying to improve things and hoping for better days ahead, I surely want you to be positive and don't give in to the negative thoughts. I can see a lot of positive things in your write-up, dear op. And I'm glad you opened up because I know this feeling of bottling your emotions and then letting them out and seek help. You just need to stay positive (easier said, than done). I'm rooting for you.
Broo...sending all the wishes and blessing to your mom. I'm sure things will work out fine for you and she gets healthy in no time. Thanks a ton for sharing your side of story. I sincerely appreciate it. :')
Appreciate the kind words, man! I also wish and hope for the success of your startup. Sending virtual hugs to you.
I am genuinely at loss of words looking at your perseverance. How did you guys manage to get yourself out of this situation? I too am a little scared on how will I be able to handle myself in such a situation? I’ve never had the courage to start something on my own because of the fear of losing it all.
Stay blessed. Better things are coming. Keep surviving buddy. You never know when things start falling in place. Its easier said then done but trust me we all suffer, just believe and hang on.
Thank you so much for the words of encouragement, kind stranger! I'm trying.
Hey brother you’re doing good because the most important part of fuck up is realising it and working on it. Prayers to you and your family will you will surely get everything on track.
Wtf man, this a new a fucking new perspective of life altogether man. I have never thought about it before that some random waiter in a random function could be a fellow fucking redditor with command in english better than my ICSE board classmates. Bro respect for you 🫡. But it still hurts to know that even after being soo educated why do you have to work such a low wage job? Why don’t you start with working in Call centres and all?
It's just life, man. I've tried for better paying jobs in the past and even able to clear their assessment part but couldn't able to clear the interviews due to the mental state I was in. I was having panic attacks and difficulty in remembering anything. I used to get tremors in my whole body, shortness of breath and constant state of mental fatigue. I lost a family member who was like a father to me because of sui\*\*de in 2019 and after that a lot of other things happened which further destroyed my mental health. But I still haven't give up and have dream to complete my professional degree and get a well paying job and look after for my mother.
Where do you live my friend?
Hahaha...Thanks man! I guess I held on to few things in order to tell a good story. Plus, waiters with good command over their communication could be a delight for the guest who comes to spend their evening with ease. Usually, I've spent my major time behind the range, cooking food. Also, I've worked in Teleperformance for Microsoft thou my reasons were to save money and travel for 3 months solo to mountains. Tbh, Lack of consistency if the reason for low wage.
Op, I think u/Homemadebully was replying to my comment :-D
Yes
Ah, my bad! I've recently exchanged my mentally draining intagram/snapchat life with Reddit so I'm still figuring out it how it works.
Wishing the best for you. Why don't you start a milaap donation page for your mother and start sharing in social media, surely people will donate and you will be able to get her operation done.
More power to you bhai!!! Stay blessed!!! ✨
Hold on, good times are coming!
I hope so too. Thanks for your comment.
Please don't call yourself useless
All the good wishes and blessing for you man. May God give you what you want. I pray that you have good days ahead
Hey man. I hope things get better for you. Just know that you changed at least one life with your courage and positivity. I take a lot of things for granted. I'm burnt out and still working, under a lot of pressure and trying to make things better. You helped me.
Damn, you're really strong bhai. I wish things turn around for you.
Good wishes and prayers for you and your family young man. May you overcome all the obstacles 🙏
Shoot me a DM i might have a job for you.
Ayushman card not useful for your mother's treatment ?
U r good at English? Why didn't u try content writing or something? Or maybe tutor? Making money is easy,you just need to try different ways and in this case you r pretty good in writing English.
Hey lots and lots of good wishes your way if its ok with your work with. Multiple ngos that maybe able to help you out. Let me know. God bless u
Believe me and believe in yourself, one day you'll be proud of yourself. Keep going my friend.
God bless you brother . It'll be alright one day.
May she recover god speed. Don't worry bro, we are in this together. Someday you'll have the life you hoped for. You'll do your best.
Hugs to you, I can't say anything
also I pray that you're mother will come out of her problem.
More power to you!!!
Hey man, everyone has different timelines. Don't compete or compare yourself with someone else's timelines, just keep aiming at your own goals and chip at them one day at a time.
Yea, tbh even I loathe these gloomy days.
Yes, there will be bad days but there will be good days too. Cherish it - journaling helps. There are many of us on the other side silently lurking on Reddit and you’re not alone.
Lol, i was OP at 26. No confidence, jobless and no eagerness to do anything. Fast forward five year 96 lpa. Never lose hope. Just be ready to be outside comfort zone and take rejection and drop ego.
That sounds nice. Mind sharing how did you do that?
At 28, I was emotionally in your position. Maybe bit more than 5k in account but having tried some stuff and COVID, I was in a terrible position. I restarted. Thought of myself as a fresher, started again and in 3 years, was back on feet. Its really tough to do that at that age but no point in sulking around. Day by day nothing changes but in a year, lot of change can happen.
I am happy to hear that you are going strong, so far I haven't lost the to courage to take risk and restart. One of my greatest strength I guess.
Not giving up and showing up for work next day are the 2 biggest strengths. And keeping the ego in locker.
Actually what you see on most social media is just positive things. It has this bias. Many people who are in your position don't come out in the open. You are brave. We all have been jobless in our own way sometimes atleast. Also there are worse things that can happen. Many successful people who have everything going for them die in car crashes. Just gone in one sec. So this is life. Don't be disheartened. Keep on fighting.
True, in that sense I feel grateful. I was looking at this picture where it showed multiple color blindness deficiency which made me remember about my friend who couldn't get into Navy due to color blindness. Similarly, in many ways I'm blessed yet the fight to accomplish something is always there.
I think everyone else has covered the part where they told you that it’s normal to still be finding your way at this age. Let me shed some light on where you’re messing up: 1. To start with the biggest, get checked for ADHD. Not saying you have it, but a lot of people today who have concentration issues stem from untreated ADHD or AHD. Best to get it crossed off the list. 2. You change jobs / fields too often. You are moving too much horizontally. Not enough vertically. This way, you’re essentially a fresher in every job, with no experience or expertise in anything. Why would anyone take you for a higher pay? What do you bring to the table? 3. Find a niche, whatever it is. Preferably something you’re naturally good at. And start upskilling in it. Give yourself a year to upskill + gain some experience there. Then switch to another role with the same JD and higher pay. Do the switch every 2-3 years to get good pay rises. Make sure you continuously upskill and learn more. 4. People will tell you that it’s not too late. Which it isn’t, but your situation is more due to your own drawbacks. Changing jobs and fields too frequently leaves you a jack of all trades and master of none. 5. Every job starts with longer hours and minimum pay. Until you get to at least 5 years of experience, the market belongs to the employers. Post that, you can find your own standing. If you’re going to always be an amateur, you can’t really complain about the hours/wage. 6. You want to run your own business. That’s not a vision. A vision lies in what you want to do. Do you want a photography business? A soup kitchen? What are you passionate about? A lot of people’s goal is to “have own business” with no passion, experience or expertise for what the business is about. I am not an expert, but I’m basing this on my own experiences. You gotta be exceptionally good at what you do to make good money. And that comes from dedication and time given to any craft. Climbing up the ladder isn’t the easiest, but staying where you are to go to another ladder means that you’ll never climb.
Thanks for sharing your solution-oriented insights. I appreciate it. Moving on: 1. To be honest, I had the same hunch once I read about it. But finding the right clinic to diagnose it is difficult. Let me know if you know of a place. Also, how would it help even after? 2. & 4. Agreed, that's completely my fault. 3. Finding a niche is what I've struggled with, which eventually led to point number 2. The change in jobs was to find my niche and not compromise on what I was offered. 4. I don't know why I find it so difficult. Trust me, I don't join with the intention of leaving within a year or two, but somehow the monotony gets to me regardless of the monetary and social perks. 5. Currently, I'm working on a Virtual Try-On startup, even though I have no expertise in developing it. However, I personally feel my life would have been easier in terms of finding the right outfit amidst the thousands of articles on any e-commerce site. Plus, I did a little survey to see if I was wrong or right, and the results were in my favor.
Everything you said in your original comment screams ADHD. I’m in the same boat as you… working to build a business in software from 8 years, haven’t really achieved anything at all. Except for client projects where there is a deadline nothing else can be completed due to distractions and many other things related to ADHD. I had a heart attack 2 years ago and I narrowly escaped death. It was a wake up call for me to get things on track. Met a physiatrist and got diagnosed officially and I am on stimulants. My distractions have gotten manageable and has helped my executive dysfunction. I would suggest you to research your symptoms and see a psychiatrist and get medicated if you do have ADHD, as a first step. It will give you clarity on what to do next. I can suggest you good psychiatrist if you live in Bangalore. Good luck!
I was living in Bangalore till last year, HSR. Recently shifted back home. But you're comment kindla scary!!! Please take care of your health. And I will dig deep about ADHD thing. Thanks for sharing your side of things.
Hey. Please suggest good psychiatrist in banglore.
Getting diagnosis for adhd and getting treatment (whether in form of therapy or.meds)will help you MASSIVELY.
OP, if you do have ADHD, it isn’t your fault. At all. One of the best parts of a diagnosis is that it helps a person to ditch this guilt and self-blame and shame. Maybe your brain’s just wired differently. So what? You wouldn’t be alone. Once you know how to play to your strengths, things become much better. Not saying you have it, but strongly urging you to test.
Did you have ADHD? What did you do to solve it? I can’t seem to focus on anything. I’m good at studying yet cannot seem to focus or be consistent. Everyone around see me as being too lazy.
24, jobless for 3 yrs, same story as you can't focus on anything, haven't worked ever since my graduation, never tried any business because of financial conditions, and yes it feels ki everything is slipping away and I've lost the game
Don't worry buddy, I guess being honest with ourselves and keep moving is the path to success like Kevin Hart said in his Mark Twain Prize ceremony.
Same I'm 24 graduated in 2022 , i had two offers but company revoked it. My losing myself every day. Life sucks for me.
you have not lost the gam. but late in the game. its not a T20. its a 5 day test match. build skills that are in demand. work hard. thats all is required. Or take rebirth and become ambani's son.
Hahaha...or a Corgy which will evetually be owned by Rich Asian. Also, stopped watching cricket post 2003 world cup. But I got your point. Be like Dravid, 100 balls - 1 run, unbreakable.
I mod this sub and you have no idea how many posts I remove from people who just blatantly lie about their salaries just for internet clout. I see posts claiming 1 crore income as if in senior management; and if you scroll their history, it will be full of porn and half the comments won't even have good grammar. Don't compare yourself to the internet. Everyone in real life has their own set of problems. Someone can be sufficiently well off and suffer from health problems, they will envy your life instead. Just drop the comparison games and live in reality.
I may be a little young but honestly I am on the same boat. 24F, Jobless, Single, feel like the game is just starting to turn in my favour. I had so much dysfunctional family trauma that I was struggling throughout my teenage years. Did everything by the book and was so unhappy & miserable. Recently left my job to go freelance. I don't have any clients for now. Picking up new hobbies (from the money I saved). Moved in with my parents. Took therapy for my issues. I have never been happier. My life is not idealistic by any means but it has started to work for me after 10 years of struggle. You haven't lost any game. Life is not a game.
I have always seen this phrase "I took therapy " on Reddit. What do you exactly do in therapy? How do you heal something that has already happened in the past and is ingrained in your memories. Just how ?
You resolve your traumas and learn tools to cope with it.
We have to be greater than what we suffer right?
30M quit my job cuz it was too toxic, unemployed and started learning music. No not to earn money but to keep myself sane. I'm gonna restart my life as a fresher if that's what it takes with no regrets.
I wish you all the best. Seriously, I genuinly admire people who are willing to bet on life with an conscious action.
Happy for you mate
Buddy you are not alone, we all face such dark time where we feel lost and no light seems nearby. You woke up today, you have a healthy body, a healthy creative mind and good experience of what not to do. Believe me one fine day you will look back to this time and smile with gratitude that you made it in life. What people show here ia just the success, very few talk about the hustle and struggle. Just believe in yourself buddy.
Fingers crossed, fingers crossed. See..getting support from all of you whom I've never met is also a kinda of a blessing.
Bro you still have a working brain, 2 hands, 2 legs, working organs and a functioning heart and you are also getting to experience this amazing mysterious life. Aren't you excited about what's next to come in your life? Just imagine how lucky you are to fight against all the odds just to be alive and to experience this wonderful world. Paise waise ate jate rahenge bs chalte raho mere bhai abhi bohot lambi aur romanchak yatra karni hai 😉
Yehi irada hai, bus kabhi-kabhi lagta hai kay yeh apne manki sunke galat tou nai kiya. Bus kabhi-kabhi.
Sorry for what you're going through OP. After a quick read, it looks like you are suffering with ADD. WHENEVER, you have the chance and money, maybe get yourself checked.
Sure, any lead for a good place? I'm sceptical about the hospital due to the lack of awareness.
Check the doctors here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/0/d/17cPYUW1sIV2udL3zrZALGCzzIbQWxJnSw3SC3Yt0p9w/htmlview# Also, you could seek more help from the community regarding any doubts you may have on Discord. https://discord.com/invite/the-adhd-indian-806941792532168735
Try contacting Nayi Disha in Hyderabad. They should be able to point you in the right direction because they maintain a directory of resources that could be on their website as well.
There is no fucking game. Just keep doing the next best thing.
Baby Steps, I guess today was one of the day where I felt low plus saw few teens sharing their CTC, that was just cherry on the top.
Yeah, comparing yourself to others is the biggest sin and leads to depression. Delete X, Insta, and anything with infinite scrolling, except maybe Reddit. If you must compare, compare downwards. Look at the guy picking up your trash, a hawker on the street you live at, or a daily wager pulling his cycle up the bridge; and think how hard it must be for them. This will fill your heart with sympathy. Better a heart full of sympathy than jealousy and inferiority.
Dude, kudos to you !! You are still fighting harder & I am damm sure you will achieve your goals :) Many 28/29M feel such low it even I feel you. Pls hit me if any help require I am a job holder in CSE domain.
Ahh..thanks!! And I was thinking to remove the post the moment I posted it. God, I was stupid to have miss out on such good and positive vibes for me and for other folks who couldn't find the courage to post it but are reading it. Also, I'm not sure if you're are working on AR/AI, as my startup is on 3D Virtual Try-On.
Nope I am just a devops engineer.
Super, I could use some advice related to my current project. I'll DM you if that's cool.
Damn, was going through some thinking about the exact same thing at my job. I have always wanted my own business. Haven't really got any specific skills to do so though. This post hit right in the feels. Stay strong man.
I know right, and you wouldn't believe I was about to delete the post. Somehow, my heart said. What could possibly go wrong by being honest and vulnerable. May be someone might read and feel pathetic about me! That's all. Like I ain't know that myself and working on being better.
25M right here, fucked up big time in life did an degree that was not even in my 1% of my interest i just opted for that course because my friends were doing it and let me tell you they are doing fine af in their life rn and me here sitting every single regretting on my decisions even thought of giving up on my self, everyone everything seems 100x better than myself, no social life, no real friends, nothing that motives me total emptiness inside, i have passion for fitness and videography but my parents wont understand my passion they are forcing me to do job that is not even giving me satisfaction, i have to force my self to do job and along with that i have to pursue my passion, life is unfair sometimes but we have to go through no matter what, stay strong big brother everything will be alright at the end just dont lose hope.
Starting a business isn't easy. It takes time, dedication, and sacrifice. The only advice I can give you is don't compare results with others. 28 is like the teenage of adulthood. So, I wouldn't worry too much about that. There are a few who've achieved considerably in their early 20s but the majority do it well in their 40s. While it's necessary to give yourself deadlines, it's to be goal oriented and not put yourself in excessive pressure. Work hard and experience life. Things don't happen overnight, and everyone is in their own journey.
Don't worry about the high paying posts in here, they are as real as Daya ki maa.
ADHD evaluation, ASAP….sincere advice, not trying to pull your leg!
Hey bro, I just wanted to say, you just need to win once! Just 1 successful SaaS launch + exit and you might even get financially free at 28 which wouldn't have been possible if you took a traditional route(jobs), keep trying.
Haha..Fingers crossed but I know that has a very less probability due to technical depth of the project. Its a really difficult one. Virtual Try-On is the concept. Feel free to check it out. Its quite interesting thou.
I love this thread because it's the real face of humanity, men supporting men . It's really a tough world out there for men. To all the powerful men who are holding a fort and no one knows about it . You guys are the MVP!
I know right! I was about to delete this post the moment I posted out of embarssement or god know's what emotion. But I'm glad that I didn't. So many of us get to share about our struggle stories. Sometimes, our small genuine action could bring so much good.
Bor you actually did what everyone dreams about. I hope I can become as talented as you . You have experience which is the most valuable thing.
Thanks man! But to be honest I envy to folks who could focus and work of year in same place to reach at the top. For that's "Wow, how do you do it?". But I guess the drive to keep learning new things as always been in me or may be I get bored doing the same things again and again. idk to be honest.
It’s not over until you give up, these are not just sayings. You have no choice but to endure and win. This is the rule of life
Hang in there buddy! You have tried building something of your own, a path less travelled. It needs courage to switch from job to entrepreneurship. So kudos to you. And all those failures are nothing but learnings/lessons for your upcoming success. All the best! Also, I was curious. Wanted to know what were the first 2 businesses and what's the SaaS start up you're working on right now?
Thanks for the wise words, I mean there are so much good out here!! :') Moreover, 1st was Food Truck cum RV on Traveler Style vehicle or ISUZU with an idea of traveling to different states, city, spending a week or two to understand their local pallete and then prepare a small menu using their own local ingredients from nearby farmers or retailers. Stay there for 3 - 4 weeks until there's enough for the next ride, city. 2nd Wedding Photographer - I did execute it and got some really amazing shots, the client was also happy, made loads of good memories with the family in Jhalandar and then Covid came.
Bro how did you pass 12th at 16? Weren't you underage?
Bro, my parents got me jumped 2nd class. I don't know how?? I wasn't even the ace of the class. They must have got some great convincing skills. I guess!
Its really strange how young folks like you are so depressed these days. I know people who started their careers in 30s, some started their businesses in 50s and are successful today. Life is not a path with pre-defined milestones. One has to create their own road. You are only 28 brother. Just focus on yourself and work hard. Leave the rest to almighty. Do not expect, just perform.
I know, I don't usually break it. Trust me! But I guess, I wanted to share and get it off my chest. Also, we both know even after sharing the situation remains the same. So, I better buckle up and be strong.
, don’t say I lost the game. You are far from that. U r still young and bright future is ahead of you. Moreover working in various industries means you accumulated more experience and that makes you versatile therefore it will help you to secure better jobs in the near future. The most important thing is that you have attempted to open up your own business although it didn’t work out but that doesn’t translate to you are a failure. You should keep pushing and never give up on it. I see potential entrepreneur in you. So keep hustling.
I think you need the starting push from your close ones; friends, partner or well wishers; the zest is in you; keep it up; never let it die; you will make it one day. All the best.
You have no idea , you are better than 90%with the experience you have got. Don't beat yourself. Karm kiye ja baaki leave evrything on God and fate. Sab sahi hojata hai confirmed.
Seems like you have gathered in experiences what other “financially successful” people have gathered as money.
28 is still young to do a lot of turn around.My friend s have turned around their life after hitting 30s from failed businesses,drug addiction and also huge debts. You have to take it day by day and also you need to stop comparing with others ,if you keep doing it ,it will mess with your mental health. From my personal front 6 months is good enough time to turn around a lot of things
Hang in there! Your journey's tough, but remember, every setback is a lesson. Keep pushing with your SaaS startup! 💪 #StayStrong #NeverGiveUp #EntrepreneurJourney
You're very very similar to me. In terms of moving industries, the adhd / memory, and the will to want to start something. (32, M) Would love to link up with you and see if we can build something together? I've got a few thoughts too.
Get a job and stick to it. Your approach has obviously failed and you need a reality check. There are a million avenues out there. If nothing then just start off as a swiggy or Zomato delivery guy. You need to get out of your home.
To be honest, I've been away from my home most of the times, just came back few months back. But only if I can put that feeling of agitation by working on same things day after day. Trust me, it starts affecting my mental health which eventually the quality of my work which I don't compromise. Never! If I'm working, I give it my all and if I can't I just step back. It might sound like an excuse.
And how will sticking to being a Swiggy or Zomato driver going to help ?
It is Only when one has lost everything that they gain the POWER to do ANYTHING!
Get a job and stick to it. Dont dream, dont be kind to yourself, you are not special. Get a job, do good and ask for raise.
Thanks for being staright forward, I intend to put this effort on my startup. This time I will see it through. If it fail I'll make sure I fail like I've never before so that I stop chasing it again and again.
"If you work hard, do your best and give your everything to it, you will surely succeed in it" This is complete garbage and bullshit. Men can not do anything, men can only do extraordinarily in things they are familiar with. The people who work hard in their familiar domain become "geniuses". Figure out what you are good at and stop wasting money/time in startups where you are not confident. Sometimes we do not have the luxury to figure out what we are good at, in that case find someone else who is good at something and work with him aka get a job (any job but work with someone who are good at what they do)
Do the best of what you can do in any field...demand follows you.... Finally found some with financial issue in this forum...else all others were millionaires and billionaires here..that too young teenagers and early 20 kids...OMG!!
I know right!! I don't what these teens are eating. Coz the crops ain't that pure or the pesticides are working them differently.
Hey, thanks for sharing- it’s great that mind is a little at peace when sharing. Your message invites others to open up as well Please accept this message as an invite for compassionate self-reflection and action-oriented ——— Yes some people are crushing and some not- the distribution of information is not exactly accurate in mass media/social media (same thing, one is slightly more personalized). In sports, we hear about who won, not lost for the most part. In business, we hear about startups not MSMEs. It’s all good- it’s just a particular flow of information that many may not be a part of. Just something to be aware of. I usually tread on media carefully and sometimes, mindfully too. Example below: Say, I compare myself to a F1 driver/cricket player/celebrity/business person- that too a still image or short video. I’d be effectively comparing my entire being to an impression or a click. However, if I compassionately assess myself from yesterday- I can feel at ease that I am improving marginally and at occasions, I improved significantly. Say I am doing 10 pushups today or eating little better or slightly went out of my comfort zone for a better long term (like you are in a way by sharing and accessing your compassion to yourself)… and tomorrow I did 12 pushups, more comfortable with eating on time and healthy, perhaps I was too comfortable with sitting on sofa but I spent more time reading a book vs browsing media (in effect, getting ever so slightly out of my comfort zone for a better long-term) All of this as you can see is compounding benefits with a small act You have a wonderful fuel in you at this time of your life- you are more motivated in a sense- to create a better life for yourself. Take it step by step, keep consistently improving (no need to be fixated with a goal), just the idea of routine, system. See the improvements over the medium (4-8 weeks) and long term. Journal them for yourself In terms of finance, I’d suggest take up volunteer work or take up a job at a smaller but stable company (provided you’re up for it). But routine, system and compassion is going to very good for you Consolidate and build- you’ll be proud of yourself and compassionate with others + yourself. You’ve been handed a golden ticket to start fresh- no baggage, nothing Pl feel free to reach out for follow-up. Keep well and use this moment in your life as fuel
[удалено]
True words, this shall too pass. By the way I like your evening Village shot, the composition is good. I have stopped posting the shots post covid as I lost the touch from photography and even the new camera I bought Fuji XT4 is lying still, barely used.
It's time to break Bad
Haha..Yes!! Plus Ultra!
What you read or hear is mostly people want to share(which is mostly good things), I am sure there are plenty of people who are like you. Do not compare yourself to everyone, there will always be people ahead of you, remember, you are not in a race. Assess your situation and then go on with your life. All the very best to you my friend.
Comeback expected stronger than RCB. Hopefully see you posting again of your amazing success from here. 🤞🏾 It's not a game.
Yes it sucks man. Try to find a job. Do the SAAS thing on the india. It takes lots of resources to build a saas biz.
Bro, don't worry. If you're in Delhi, let's meet for a cup of coffee! DM me. I'll offer you a job, but there's a catch: you need to upskill yourself. I'll guide you through everything. I'll share a few courses, and I'll give you 3 months to learn a particular skill. If you can do a decent job after 3 months, I'll offer you a monthly salary with a one-year contract. I run a creative marketing agency here in New Delhi, where we specialize in branding, digital marketing, and web development. I've also gone through a lot of tough years. Please check out the community on r/adhdindia. From there, you can join their Discord channel, which has a community of over 10,000 Indians just like you and me. There's an excel sheet that includes doctors, their fees, states, and reviews—essentially all the support you need, including productivity hacks, offline support events, and much more. Don't worry, everything will be fine
Focus is all you need. Seriously, that's all. You are jumping a lot here and there but please find some stability now.
Finally a post I can’t relate to on this sub 🥹
I'm grateful that it could help others, its a really good community here. I'm grateful for all their kind words and advice.
You said, you still believe it’ll workout, & maybe you’re delusional. I don’t have an advice to give, but I hope you always have this belief, hope it works out for ya, good luck
33M here, just shifter my career 360 and doing okayish, 6lpa which is nothing compared to my work experience 10+ years. So no you haven't lost, just remember, life is about the journey not the destination, keep up your high hopes brodda, oh yeah i broke up like 1 year ago too. Still waiting for her to come back.. so yeah...
I have changed my career 4 times. Every time ending up at 0 from past 6 months finally started to do well for myself. I am 31 so it’s never to late
All those guys who are struggling in life....you really need to start running and working out. Just leave everything for now...focus on your physical health. It worked well for me. Im still struggling ( i have a job though) But im not that depressed as i used to be. See, for doing a business you dont have money, You dont have job...you dont have experience. But you can run and workout. It will boost your confidence....give you a positive mindset and ideas will come to you. Try it.
36 lost the game , but will fix it soon .
"Set ur heart ablaze. Go beyond your limits"
You quotes make me imagine you a highly compassionate and SS level anime character who never gave up. Thanks mate!!! Ahan..even your name is GOKU. Plus Ultra!!! Go Beyond!!!!
You'll only ever win the game once you realise that everyone is playing a different game.
Not trying to mock you. But you need to first stop masturbating. Your brain's reward centre is easily saturated and hence you find it difficult to do other tasks to 'psychologically' reward yourself for these accomplishments. That's why you are stuck with 'dreaming'. You need to first start getting bored and force your brain to engage with difficult tasks and focused work. If you have access to any kind of distractions especially 'rewarding' ones it'll be extremely difficult to focus.
how tf do you know he masturbates
Doesn't matter bro we can start from anywhere.. Boht kama k bhi log kya kr rhe h ??
dont get distracted by others
[удалено]
Keep going my friend. Your whole life is ahead of you.
Message me , I will give you some ideas
Dekho 28 k ho 38 ke nahi... abhi track par aa jao next 2-3 years dedication dikhao jo bhi krna hai consistently kro
Everything that starts has to end, your bad time will end too. I am not saying you do, but never compare yourself to others, set goals for yourself and go about achieving them, this is all that matters. Focus on your goals, it's not going to be easy, but it's been done before, it's being done now, it will be done later.
You haven’t lost the game. I’m just like you and it was me plus a dad which was gone and family issues that marked no end. One thing that no one has told you here which I’ll tell you- Consistency and low expectations for a few months is key, pick a skill and give it 3-4 hours a day. Every skill works in plateaus and it’ll take a while till you see things change but you have to give yourselves time. With finances, well have a saving mindset and try to optimize life as much as you can. Being a dreamer is great because it keeps you motivated, I for one never had a girlfriend while living in Delhi all my life because of unrealistic financial standards of people but I dreamt about having a fit girlfriend and bagged myself a German girl in Germany, she’s damn near perfect and my first one yet, and I’ve learned so much from her it’s insane. Regarding the failures you speak of, I was bullied all my life and was deemed a social loser because I was ‘too nice’. Today the same people apologize to me when they see me doing great. Your day will come my man
Your reddit India family will be cheering you on in these comments. Whenever you feel down, just go through these msgs. Everything will figyre out OP. The trick us to be patience just a little more than what you thought, and keep going. Tc
35m here, all I can say Apna time ayega.
I'll not write my story but i have to one thing to say. When you feel like you have nothing going on in life, that's the time you have to make yourself understand that you've nothing to lose as well. So, take the risks with logical decisions and go all in. (It may sound stupid, but these kinda people are the dangerous one's who conquers the thrones) More power to you, Take care !!
Thanks Mate!! I intend do the same and actually working on it.
> I've changed industries multiple times that's where your failure is to reach high levels of salary one requires almost a decade in one industry at least in my experience if you're from tier 1 colleges then it might be 4-5 years but you're not you have switched industries way too many times learn to just love something and stick to it bro ignore the "follow your heart" bs it doesn't apply to everyone sometimes you gotta love doing mundane work just to make sure your salary is good
This is a pattern I have seen in a lot of people. They feel they deserve more than what they have got because they are seeking some internal satisfaction in work. They want to start their own business but don’t have the balls to take the risk. Work rarely gives satisfaction. It has its moments though. Just keep your head down and work for 2 years at least. Gain some skill, practice the skill everyday. Start with a small paying job, don’t say no just coz it pays less; everyone’s salary increases.
Pick every single opportunity and every single positive vibe around you. I hope and pray, things get better for you.
Bro this sounds like ADHD. I have it, and I can relate to everything you’re saying. Please search for a qualified psychologist to get tested, they would then recommend next steps (whether you need medication or CBT). It will change your life.
If u can move abroad somewhere And start a new life hustle like u never have Don’t give up champ things will work out
Hey Man...... U r just starting in your career don't be demotivated. Think about your families when u get -ve thoughts. It ll definitely motivate you. Due to my stammering issue I was billed by my teacher and classmates. They used to give weird name and always made fun of me but i never lost hope and also never informed this to my parents. This was going until my college. Then I started giving class presentation which motivates me to speak more also started talking with PPL. Now I m working on a bank since 4 yrs attending calls with foreign clients. I do stammers still but it's reduced to 95%. Please Ping me if u need any job in finance background. I ll love to help u out.
Thanks for sharing your side of the struggles. Its really admirable, how you over come your challenges and keep going strong. Also, I sincerely appreciate your offer but finance is never my strong suit. Communication, Story Telling, Analystics and Research are my strengths but I hope someone who genuinely needs the job finds your comment.
Here are few pointers that might help: 1. You've not lost man. I saw some people in the comments sharing their story, they have such good command in English. You guys will surely comeback. Remember you guys have nothing to lose. 2. Keep looking for good jobs, do freelancing, be active on other platforms like twitter, YouTube, keep up skilling yourself. Consume good content. Go monk mode. Everything is achievable. If you can't focus meditate. 3. Follow iman gadzhi, alex hormozi, sam ovens etc . Learn business strategies. They will change your overall outlook on life.
At 28, your game’s just beginning, OP. You went to a good college, have lots of different interests and experience in a range of industries. Have you ever been assessed for ADHD? If you haven’t, please consider it. This sounds like a typical ADHD story. Maybe you could read up about it first and see if you recognise yourself, go for an assessment and take it from there. And don’t worry, ADHD people have fantastic strengths; you just need to know how to max them. Good luck! ETA: Just scrolled down and saw that several people mention ADHD. I suggest you get in touch with a good NGO in your area that works with disabled/ neurodivergent people. There are many that work with kids but they’ll be able to guide you further even if they won’t assess you themselves.
More power to you brother, just be in the game!!
Start an onlyfans/fansly
Bro you're feeling shit because you are comparing yourself to like 0.1% of India. If a particular subreddit is making you feel shit. Then you should unfollow that sub.
Actually, I won't blame the subredit alone but couple more things pilled up but thanks to all of your support I feel so much better already. Its a really beautiful community. A true Social Media with genuine intentions.
Bro I hope you debt free atleast, it's a big thing.
You know what, nothing will fuckin change until you decide to change yourself. I can see you easily give up on things and move to something different, and you don't commit your 100% to anything, and that's where the problem lies, grow a pair and stick to one thing for atleast 3 years and then come back and tell me how things changed if you can't the keep crying with your pity party. I'm 26 with a net worth of approx 7L. Worked for 2 years and 5 months by far. (First person in family to hit the tax payable bracket) Got rejected from the armed forces, took drop from BSC IT, struggled to get into college two years later, struggled with commerce subjects as I was from science, but I just stuck through it, faced the pain and rejection and all the shit given to me, and stuck through, and I am not delusional but I will certainly make it big in life, it's not a dream, it's my goal I have planned for it. Maybe I'll fail a 100 times more but I will make it big. I'm not gifted neither belong from elite catagory. I just make shit happen for my self and that's why I'm so egoistic and bitter.
Best of luck 🤞
Idk this might sound like a stupid advice considering your financial situation but try to go and work abroad, in places like USA , people are more open minded and they believe in many fresh starts unlike India. You will find people getting married there at 50 , causally dating in their 40s , starting their businesses above 50 and stuff like that. India is just the worst place to be on earth if you dont conform to the traditional ideas and timelines( which are stupid) of life.
Comparison is the thief of joy
32M, made significant money starting at the age of 25. That's when I left my job. I have decent funds in my bank but lost my mom in the process. I came from nothing. I left a corporate job and ran a grocery store because I never did it with the intention of making significant money or I wanted a sophisticated work. I always wanted to do some business, small or big. In my younger days, I have even sold momos on the street with my mom and clothings too and a lot of random stuff. You have a mom feel lucky about that friend. I have the money but I miss my mother, I remember I used to get annoyed at her and we had arguments on petty things becuase I was so into the money making thing. As I started growing mature, I became more tolerant and I started realizing why do even be so aggressive. It seemed so illogical to me. I became more patient and kept the money number aside becuase the more I chase the more I lose my mind. I just feel doing things at my own pace now. BTW it's a long story how I managed to secure a good amount of funds but honestly it was Hella tough, constantly worrying, lost my hair, had poor lifestyle. Guess we have to pay a price for it but I never gave in. I just kept going and ignoring what others have their opinion on me, never cared about winning or losing. I just kept myself busy. Never spent recklessly on stupid cars and stuffs. Saved every bit. Just do what you like friend. Jo kismat mai likha hoga vo to hona hai, one can't escape it. Just keep going. Winning or losing is just a part of it.
5k is like 250 vada pavs maan.
There’s comes a time in every man’s life where he’s in the cross roads and he’s lonely and there’s nobody to guide him and neither does he have generational wealth but, if we all gave up who how will we all respect ourselves? Fuck what society cares about your or anyone else. Look at yourself In the mirror and make sure you fucking do whatever the fuck it takes to achieve it. Don’t give up man. Rooting for you as we’ve all been in the same situation someday or the other:
I agree with you. I've been taking all the action in my life thinking about one things. When the last moment comes and I look back to my life. I DO NOT REGRET. I might be feeling low right now but somehow deep down I won't settle for less. I keep telling this myself and everyone of you on this subred has supported me. I can't express the gratitude. Thanks a lot!
Well considering this I should die at 33, but we all know it's a stupid thing to even think about . Your life isn't someone else's life , your race your pace and eventually you'll settle down . Trust the process and keep going on
Stay focused bro you will land a job sooner rather then later, last year around this time I resigned from my current job as I had a good offer but then couldn’t continue because of the work policies and other things was without a job for three months, all the savings down the drain missed on credit card payments as well but eventually i was able to land a job and now everything is back on track. Just remember one thing not every job you do you are going to enjoy because at the end of the day you are working for somebody else. Also there is nothing wrong in dreaming look for something that you are truly great at and figure out a way to monetise on that. Kudos and all the best for the job hunt. Dm me your cv and I will see if I can refer you somewhere.
Stay strong. Everything will work out
Hey OP!! All the best, I have also started a consultancy of my own
It means you're in the game!!! Search for jobs.. chhoti kyun na ho for short term.
Hang in there bud
U're not the only one. In fact majority of the people these days are in that position. Even people from good colleges and good families are jobless after trying for upsc and other govt exams. It's becomecommon tosee 30 yo unemployedpeople
Keep going and you'll find something eventually and settle down. It's not easy to find your calling and you have the balls to risk it all and go find it.
Hi, I am an MBA grad. DM me. Maybe your business acumen is not good. You can consult for your business .
Mate pivot! Keep your options open. If you think you can do better elsewhere just take a leap of faith. There is no such thing as a perfect opportunity. You create them not the other way around.
Living by it. Everyday is a new beginning. I feel must better today than yesterday. Thanks to you all guys.
If you keep comparing yourself to others, you will always lose the game. Even when you become a millionaire, there will be a billionaire out there waiting for your attention. Sit back, and learn to find if you are better than yesterday or not.
25 f . Average job in Mumbai but when I see other people earning so much especially my friends I wonder what will happen. No man even commits to me so there's that depression too of being expired by 30
You haven't lost anything, Life is much more than being in comfortable slab, you seems ambitious make full use of it, Money and others things will be sorted once you focus on 1 thing at a time. Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara, why fit on others parameters, Explore make mistakes be vulnerable and come out stronger than last version. You still have 40 yrs of young you :)
Words of Wisdom. I'm going to that with every failure. Stronger than before. Cheers and thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Not sure of your exact situation beyond what you told here, but I am 40+ and would give anything to be 28 again even with your situation. The biggest advantage you have is you are young. Try to figure out what line of work clicks in the next couple of years. Meanwhile, develop some routine. It can be anything as consistently waking up at 5 a.m. or running for 30 minutes every day or reading a book for 1 hour every evening. Pick up an achievable target and do it consistently. I promise you, if you follow that, the rest of your life would fall in place.
31 married .. no job no degree. no health neuro issues , not even 500 in bank
Sounds like you have adhd. If you live in pune let me know, I'll be happy to share a few good docs details.
I just turned 28 a month ago, unemployed, blind in left eye, extremely low vision in right eye too. Struggling finding a job because "currently don't have a position for VH person". Thought about how dying would have been easier than this. Only reason I'm still here is because of my parents, don't want to break their heart. Don't even have a girlfriend and probably never will because of my eyesight. Life is just unfair to some people, and there's just nothing we can do about it.
Man, I get it. I'm about to turn 30 in a few months, and I'm unemployed, broke, drowning in debt, and feeling mentally paralyzed. Every day feels like a loss, and time just slips away. I constantly wonder if it's worth it and what the point of living like this is, but I don't want to die. I give myself excuses like responsibilities and family love to keep going. I've always been passionate about business, but my family wanted me to get a job. I was a bright kid, and my earliest memory is realizing that my family was poor and struggling to take care of three kids. I grew up too fast under the influence of expectations & responsibilities and have never truly felt happy in my life. I've never accomplished anything significant. I wasn't good at studies, and my education feels like a waste. I wasn't good at sports or at the jobs I had in the hospitality and event industry. I'm skinny, with no physical stamina or strength. All I see around me is darkness. But I'm trying again and will start a cloud kitchen in Ahmedabad. After multiple failures, I'm scared, and it's very challenging for me to gather the courage to attempt one more time. It's been a lonely journey and always will be-nobody cares about you if you don't have anything to offer. People tend to stick around only when they can benefit from you, and once you're down, you quickly realize who truly cares.
Building a business and working on yourself takes time man. It's much easier to get a job and work for them repeatedly without work satisfaction. Keep trying and you will get there. 28 is still in 20s only.
Just keep at it bro. Everyone's story is different. Great things take time. I am a AA younger you identified I can't work for someone. Started multiple ventures had a couple of good successful ones got comfortable COVID happened. Got back up and failed twice. Now at it again. Giving up is never an option.
Bhai, when you have problems that seem impossible, go to God. Always. God is always the answer. It pulled me out of numerous hells, multiple times.
I do it and it certainly helps. Being into spirituality I inclined towards meditation but again not able to keep it consistently.
I have same situation like you and i am married
Touché As the title says