hi po, i think u and your family might have narcissistic relationships. Di ka nababaliw, hindi yan tama. Stories about these types could be learned in Dr. Ramani's videos and how to cope w/ it. Protect yourself & your well being, dont be vulnerable around them to be sane. You got this.
hindi ko siya binigyan ng thought before pero iba talaga nung nag pandemic nakakasuffocate na magkakasama kaming lahat. thanks din pala di ko alam na may subreddit for this :(
I think the best way (for now) is act perfect around them, swallow that pride. That way they can act right around you and for now ur studies wont get bothered. Does it feel like emotional manipulation? Yes, and if it disgusts you have great empathy; you are doing this for survival & survival is not always gracious. These are coping mechanisms I learned from Dr. Ramani, which that subreddit def. thankful for a godsend. Nakakarelate ako sayo, naiintindihan kita. Kayanin mo for you bc u deserve sanity, for now yun nalang muna ang may access ka. Going nc might be challenging bc u need to move-out, for the meantime prepare yourself for that great future ahead.
to add, thru this you might actually get some type of boundary setting bc they think that respect is there. Things might go well for you if you play along, pero ang pinaka foundation nito ay to never be vulnerable around them, meaning makihalibulo ka ng hindi mo ineemphasize yung totoong feelings ng saya, lungkot etc. In short you create conversations u dont really care about to get that respect from them bc it will actually feel like respect. This might be hard at first, pero I think you can do it. Analyze these coping skills up until u move out and ready to support urself.
I have actually experienced this. Yung sunod ka lang nang sunod. Even though sobrang nakakawala ng totoong idenitity kase nagpapalamon ka sa gusto nila, sobrang nakakapagbigay siya ng peace kase at least di ka nasisigawan. Yun nga lang I have to sacrifice even the littlest things that I can call my own. I may exaggerate this a little bit lol but I know you get it.
i feel you op, you're probably dealing with emotionally immature parents (narcissists at worst) like me. sadly there's no way out until kaya mo nang bumukod so i suggest trying to take care of your own well being as much as possible.
mahirap tanggapin pero wala na tayong magagawa sa dysfunctional families aside from stopping the cycle when it's your turn to have a family (well if you're planning to). hang in there OP. i'm here to listen if you need someone to talk to.
buong buhay ko inabangan yung college kase alam kong dun lang ako makakaalis pero the pandemic happens, online class na nga tas pag nag f2f pa malapit lang samin. Tangina siblings ko nakapagcollege pre-pandemic kaya nakapagmanila sila. sadly di ko na kahit kelan magagawa yon.
like the other commenter, i suggest reading on this subreddit to understand your situation better. i recommend reading this comment in particular:
https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/comments/1lc3xo/how_can_a_parent_be_both_loving_and_so/cby84vz?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
I really hope so. pakiramdam ko sobrang mali na nagrerely ako sa "future possibility" na mamemeet ko sila kase lumalaki lang expectations ko. ayoko madisappoint and ayoko magforce ng relationships.
No need to force it. The greatest relationships you'll come either very naturally or just plain unexpected. Stay strong. Should you feel like talking to someone, feel free to send a message. Keep safe.
“the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”. Surround yourself with people that loves you by choice. The bonds you made with them is more important the the those bound to by the water of the womb.
Pagtoxic pamilya mo, lumayo ka sa kanila.
Yakap OP! Hindi lng dapat taga taga provide ng financial needs ang pamilya. Dapat pinaparamdam din nila na we are heard and loved. Sana mahanap mo ang totoong pamilya mo ☺️.
hi po, i think u and your family might have narcissistic relationships. Di ka nababaliw, hindi yan tama. Stories about these types could be learned in Dr. Ramani's videos and how to cope w/ it. Protect yourself & your well being, dont be vulnerable around them to be sane. You got this.
there is also a subreddit that you can relate to https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
hindi ko siya binigyan ng thought before pero iba talaga nung nag pandemic nakakasuffocate na magkakasama kaming lahat. thanks din pala di ko alam na may subreddit for this :(
I think the best way (for now) is act perfect around them, swallow that pride. That way they can act right around you and for now ur studies wont get bothered. Does it feel like emotional manipulation? Yes, and if it disgusts you have great empathy; you are doing this for survival & survival is not always gracious. These are coping mechanisms I learned from Dr. Ramani, which that subreddit def. thankful for a godsend. Nakakarelate ako sayo, naiintindihan kita. Kayanin mo for you bc u deserve sanity, for now yun nalang muna ang may access ka. Going nc might be challenging bc u need to move-out, for the meantime prepare yourself for that great future ahead.
to add, thru this you might actually get some type of boundary setting bc they think that respect is there. Things might go well for you if you play along, pero ang pinaka foundation nito ay to never be vulnerable around them, meaning makihalibulo ka ng hindi mo ineemphasize yung totoong feelings ng saya, lungkot etc. In short you create conversations u dont really care about to get that respect from them bc it will actually feel like respect. This might be hard at first, pero I think you can do it. Analyze these coping skills up until u move out and ready to support urself.
I have actually experienced this. Yung sunod ka lang nang sunod. Even though sobrang nakakawala ng totoong idenitity kase nagpapalamon ka sa gusto nila, sobrang nakakapagbigay siya ng peace kase at least di ka nasisigawan. Yun nga lang I have to sacrifice even the littlest things that I can call my own. I may exaggerate this a little bit lol but I know you get it.
i feel you op, you're probably dealing with emotionally immature parents (narcissists at worst) like me. sadly there's no way out until kaya mo nang bumukod so i suggest trying to take care of your own well being as much as possible. mahirap tanggapin pero wala na tayong magagawa sa dysfunctional families aside from stopping the cycle when it's your turn to have a family (well if you're planning to). hang in there OP. i'm here to listen if you need someone to talk to.
buong buhay ko inabangan yung college kase alam kong dun lang ako makakaalis pero the pandemic happens, online class na nga tas pag nag f2f pa malapit lang samin. Tangina siblings ko nakapagcollege pre-pandemic kaya nakapagmanila sila. sadly di ko na kahit kelan magagawa yon.
like the other commenter, i suggest reading on this subreddit to understand your situation better. i recommend reading this comment in particular: https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/comments/1lc3xo/how_can_a_parent_be_both_loving_and_so/cby84vz?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
There's times when your family is not related to you by blood. I hope you meet yours soon.
I really hope so. pakiramdam ko sobrang mali na nagrerely ako sa "future possibility" na mamemeet ko sila kase lumalaki lang expectations ko. ayoko madisappoint and ayoko magforce ng relationships.
No need to force it. The greatest relationships you'll come either very naturally or just plain unexpected. Stay strong. Should you feel like talking to someone, feel free to send a message. Keep safe.
“the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”. Surround yourself with people that loves you by choice. The bonds you made with them is more important the the those bound to by the water of the womb. Pagtoxic pamilya mo, lumayo ka sa kanila.
panira lang talaga covid sa pangarap kong lumayas sa bahay
Yakap OP! Hindi lng dapat taga taga provide ng financial needs ang pamilya. Dapat pinaparamdam din nila na we are heard and loved. Sana mahanap mo ang totoong pamilya mo ☺️.
i don't have any advice to offer you OP, just here to commiserate because i'm in a similar situation as you :(((
yakap satin we'll get through this