Oh this is a lovely little poem 'w' I don't mean little in a belittling sense, just that it's charming and straightforward. Love the varying line lenght, it gives the poem a "drunken confession" kinda vibe
I also really feel the whiskey and fiddle line as giving a good tone to the poem- it kinda stumbles out full of character. I love the honesty behind it- the only thing I may add is some words to foreshadow the “air conditioning” line. Like adding some themes of sweaty bar love in there to allude to- just a suggestion!
this reminds me of many poems and drunken nights I had in college. It brings back a nostalgia of a first but messy love. I do think the line “my palms were beer stuck” could be reworked to be stronger. The line about the whiskey and the fiddle absolutely got me. Thank you.
I loved this for the way it reminded me of those first moments. The awe and delight it offers. Thank you for sharing
Oh this is a lovely little poem 'w' I don't mean little in a belittling sense, just that it's charming and straightforward. Love the varying line lenght, it gives the poem a "drunken confession" kinda vibe
I also really feel the whiskey and fiddle line as giving a good tone to the poem- it kinda stumbles out full of character. I love the honesty behind it- the only thing I may add is some words to foreshadow the “air conditioning” line. Like adding some themes of sweaty bar love in there to allude to- just a suggestion!
this reminds me of many poems and drunken nights I had in college. It brings back a nostalgia of a first but messy love. I do think the line “my palms were beer stuck” could be reworked to be stronger. The line about the whiskey and the fiddle absolutely got me. Thank you.