T O P

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PlagueDoc22

Did a summer job cleaning gravestones and gardening. Was a very rewarding job. Especially remember an old lady thanking me for keeping her husband "clean". And she joked that he would be filthy at times while alive also. That was 16 years ago and still remember her vividly. She's dead by now as she'd be past 100. RIP lady.


JoyKil01

That’s awesome. Love that she was there to appreciate your work!


PlagueDoc22

Yeah felt really nice. Made me proud of what I was doing as a kid.


mason92bs

Fuck the guy who draw a penis on a tombstone


wreckedcarzz

The dead guy who asked his best friend to draw a cock on his 'stone for the lulz in his will: *annoyed*


MLiOne

In that case person should have had it in their will that headstone have a penis on it.


wreckedcarzz

...that's the joke, yes


I_cut_my_own_jib

He means engraved into the stone


1182990

Cemeteries have restrictions on what can appear on gravestones. Source: had to arrange a gravestone for a grave.


boopadoop_johnson

brings a whole new meaning to "headstone"


LOERMaster

Here lies corpse. Yes, the penis is intentional and put there at my request.


whosUtred

Yeah man, that guys a massive dick!


martinaee

Hope somebody pisses on his grave. (Gonna assume a guy drew it).


DGAF999

Not anymore 😂


AdultingGoneMild

maybe he just wanted someone to clean it. You know the Wanksy of the grave yard cleaning. Looked like it was over due for a scrub before the graffiti.


Novantico

It's crazy how okay with that notion I am now that you've proposed it. Be the cleaning/fixing vigilante. Next thing that came to mind would be defacing American (or hell other national and a state one or two) flags outside of businesses that are frayed/tearing/etc because it's fucking ridiculous for people to be all obnoxiously patriotic and shit and have an insulting rag of a flag outside.


llamalord478

Maybe the guy buried there was a dick


JoyKil01

Nah. It was a grave from the 1800’s. They did the whole cemetery including children’s graves :/


TreeDiagram

That's terrible, nothing's sacred to some people, thank you for cleaning off the tombstones though, that's admirable


Bebe718

Dumb teens is my guess


Lityeah

Whoever did it is probably cursed af now


texasproof

I mean, dying in the 1800s doesn’t exclude you from being a dick. If anything, it raises the odds.


BishonenPrincess

But it does mean that whoever put that graffiti there had no clue either way.


texasproof

Maybe they have a doctorate in American history. You never know!


Bebe718

Yikes!


ChopperTownUSA

That’s a rocket ship on reentry to the atmosphere man.


Shazmdbehm

nah its a dick


MrOrangeWhips

Or girl.


TheRealCMPUNKFan

…It’s a dude. Guys think that shit is hilarious.


lowrcase

Ever seen the stalls of the girls’ bathroom in HS?


MrOrangeWhips

Could be a girl though.


gelly_the_fifth

But nonbinary people exist?


bepisman2309

Why does that matter here


MrOrangeWhips

Is that a question? Doesn't change the fact that a girl could have done the graffiti. Could've been lots of different types of people!


AppleSpicer

You get me


I-Am-Polaris

No they dont


BullShitting24-7

Maybe that guy was a dick.


caiotmz

I bet the person who did this had a personal issue with this dead fellow


JoyKil01

Nah. It was a grave from the 1800’s. They did the whole cemetery including children’s graves :/


PatEmpa

Balls? No problemo


Shazmdbehm

and the horse that cunt rode in on!


oddiseeus

I know this is late, however… [then there’s this lady](https://www.vice.com/en/article/wxnnqw/mexico-dick-tombstone)


Human-Donkey7862

Came here to say the same thing that guys is a cunt


[deleted]

Good for you, this is a beautiful act!


JoyKil01

Awe thanks!


The_estimator_is_in

Yeah, but who's going to remember Mr. B'Haals McKokkerson now?


JoyKil01

He will always have a special place in our hearts and ~~minds~~ groins


Black_Doc_on_Mars

r/humansbeingbros


thogrules

Playing this in reverse makes you look like a real jerk!


JoyKil01

I very much need a reverse gif bot of this to share with the committee!


ItsLeKai

u/GifReversingBot


GifReversingBot

##NSFW Here is your gif! https://files.catbox.moe/xrvhkv.mp4 --- ^(I am a bot.) [^(Report an issue)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=pmdevita&subject=GifReversingBot%20Issue&message=Add a link to the gif or comment in your message%2C I%27m not always sure which request is being reported. Thanks for helping me out!)


thogrules

Good Bot


B0tRank

Thank you, thogrules, for voting on GifReversingBot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)


A_bunch_of_potateos

Good bot


JoyKil01

Thank you!


Novantico

lmao I love how it makes you/whoever cleaned it look like they were so carefully drawing it too, and then seeing the heart added at the top along the way loool


JoyKil01

That heart is the cherry on top. Chef’s kiss.


MrOrangeWhips

*Let me just get these corners while I'm at it...*


JoyKil01

Busted. That’s exactly what I was thinking. Lol


hmspain

I was wondering about that. I could hear the head of the power washing committee saying something like "Only remove the graffiti, the rest is history!". But then I thought "F**k it, clean it properly".


JohnKlositz

Well if you just remove the graffiti you would still see the penis, only in shining white.


mrsjbm

I hope the soul of whoever’s stone this is is now haunting that disrespectful idiot who drew it in the first place!


JoyKil01

Guarantee you I had more fun power washing than they did spray painting. The only solution: we should get more kids interested in power washing :P


ScrapRocket

There is a street somewhere where the government refuses to clean the walls, so people have started power washing graffiti onto them to encourage cleaning


Novantico

I feel like it'd be easier just to spraypaint it


flargenhargen

that is a dick move in more than one way, for sure. but to be honest, a lot of people might find the idea of someone painting a penis on their tombstone kind of funny. that's not an excuse, and it shouldn't be done unless the decedent was very clear about wanting it (still wouldn't be allowed in most cemeteries) but I'd say at least 10-20% of dudes, and some women would find the idea funny. and not just young people, old people often have twisted senses of humor as well. hopefully whoever this was done to is one of those who would've found it funny. I probably would. Better than being totally forgotten. Glad someone cared enough to clean it up, though. props to op.


JoyKil01

That’s fair enough. The thing is they did this around the whole cemetery including a children’s memorial with 5 babies buried there :/. All from the 1800’s.


flargenhargen

yea there is no excuse for it, and you can't get much lower than desecrating a memorial to dead babies. good on you for cleaning it up!


JoyKil01

Progress Pics: Original, multiple applications of elephant snot and scrubbing, then low-pressure power wash. https://imgur.com/a/PH6mwaD/


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JoyKil01

Right?! Lord that’s something else. I can only think these kids who did this do not come from good homes.


KudosOfTheFroond

I definitely was not a part of this restoration, but thanks anyway!


awful_source

“Being ded sux”… lol definitely a 14 year old.


JoyKil01

Admittedly that was my favorite one.


KeithMyArthe

Thanks for bringing back some faith in humanity, OP. 🧡 No matter what has happened to you in life, how much lower can you go than defiling a grave.


SpatialThoughts

Unless it's Jimmy Savile's grave. That scumbag deserves it.


KeithMyArthe

Didn't his family remove his headstone 'out of respect for public opinion?'


SpatialThoughts

Yeah but someone commented in another post a while back that people still piss on the grave.


KeithMyArthe

I guess that's in line with public opinion.


HarveytheHambutt

what is elephant snot/goop?


JoyKil01

https://www.graffitisolutions.com/products/elephant-snot®


HarveytheHambutt

ooooo makes total sense. glad they have zomething like that!!!


FishyBricky

But what’s it made of ?


HarveytheHambutt

Elephant boogers obvi


RunFlorestRun

Please don’t power wash tombstones…. There is a very delicate cleaning process that people use to preserve the integrity of the stone. High pressure washes can damage the stone and accelerate the erosion process. Please do not power wash any more tombstones Edit: check OPs reply to my comment


JoyKil01

Thank you for trying to educate people on this. It is certainly not something to do on your own. That said, this work was done with the cemetery committee and skilled cleaners. We worked for months trying to scrub off the paint with various cleaners from d2 to elephant snot. This power washer is a home-grade low-pressure washer with low pressure nozzle. In my cemetery preservation post, I did point out the different techniques used, and do think it’s important to emphasis to not use a commercial-grade power washer. Thank you for trying to educate people who might not otherwise be experienced with this.


RunFlorestRun

Fantastic! Good to hear


[deleted]

What special kind of asshole draws dicks on *tombstones* out of all places


JohnKlositz

Most likely teenagers.


skinny4lyfe

Can you clarify what you mean by low pressure power washer and what is elephant goop? Both genuine questions.


JoyKil01

So, this is a home-grade power washer with low pressure nozzle. Gravestones are relatively fragile — especially marble, and this is a “last resort” sort of cleaning. You need to be a gentle as possible, so you don’t want to use a commercial power washer. Elephant snot is graffiti remover. In this instance, the cemetery committee worked for months scrubbing this by hand and using elephant snot and d2. See my other posts for progress pics! https://www.graffitisolutions.com/products/elephant-snot®


guacaflockaflames

Porn? Lol


[deleted]

Watch this u/guacaflockaflames, imma bout to post porn in the comment section: (o Y o) 8==D \ i / 🤭


pippingigi

Nicely done!


JoyKil01

Thanks! It was fun :)


lovebug9292

What a strange place to draw a dick..


Mini_Mega

Removing someone's self portrait.


Izaran

What kinda shitbag vandalizes a cemetery?


jamest1096

/r/substakenliterally


amaranth1985

always glad to see these able to be cleaned with minimal damage, nice job!


jacb415

People are fucking assholes. Good job OP👍


WynnForTheWin49

When I die can someone please come draw a penis on my gravestone???? Bonus points if you carve it.


JoyKil01

I was all worried that if we used too much pressure, we’d end up just etching dicks into the stone XD


StalkMeNowCrazyLady

I get you're trying to be edgy, but this ain't it. Your marker is the likely the most lasting legacy you'll leave on this world and you shouldn't want it defaced. Good on OP for making sure their methods don't harm the marker itself.


WynnForTheWin49

Mate, I don’t give a flying fuck if I’m remembered or not after I die. I’ll be dead, and thus unable to care. I don’t want my funeral to be sad. I want a penis on my gravestone and my family to tell dumb jokes and stories of my stupidity.


Mr01-Meeseeks

Don't graffiti artists usually have a code? you know, like not destroying civilian property? although this one i would hardly call an artist, more of a dick


NextGenBacon

That’s an off brand dickbutt.


Popal24

You do realize she literally drawed a penis with her powerwasher? r/powerwashingart vs r/powerwashinggore


dreevsa

Who would do that?


pantless_vigilante

Holy fuck how could someone be so cruel to the dead....


Mounted-Archer

Who does such a thing??


ba3toven

now no one will know where peepee man is lain


[deleted]

Is this work or therapy?


AskOk3196

How do you get a job/ contract to do this kinda stuff? Ive seen a lot of cemeteries that could use it and seems like a nice niche


JoyKil01

We’re all volunteers. Your town/historical society might have a cemetery committee to get in touch with to see about joining! We do stuff like veterans flags, cleanup, signs, etc for historical cemeteries (we have 125 of them in my small town).


AskOk3196

Thanks for letting me know! That’s awesome!


Frunklin

Karma has a way of finding people who disrespect the dead.


BishonenPrincess

Man I wish that were true.


DrtyBrownWaterTrash

“Everybody thinks I did it” “Did what?” “The DIUCKS”


GEEZUS_15

I've read stories of sexual assult victims peeing on the tomb stone of the individual who harmed them. Maybe this is somthing similar.


JoyKil01

Definitely not the case here. Just graffiti. Check my progress pic notes and you’ll see These stones are from the late 1800’s and includes a monument to 5 buried babies.


GEEZUS_15

O for sure. I'm sure this is just some guy literally being a dick. Solid work by you. Keep up the good work.


whereismymind86

To be pedantic, the definition of porn is more nuanced than that, a badly graffiti-ed dick is crass, but it's not porn.


JoyKil01

Dude it’s a joke. Everyone knows dick drawings aren’t porn, they’re erotica.


anxiousvoorhees

Should never power wash a grave stone!


JoyKil01

Correct! Except when you should. You’ll want to see my other posts on this with explanation. I go into a bit more detail on items used and technique. I also go into detail on how this was done with skilled cleaners with the cemetery committee. And this being after months of effort with other techniques. Folks should never use a commercial grade power washer.


horsesarecool111

Graffiti on tombstones is unacceptable but I would not consider this to be "porn" it's just a drawing of a penis


JoyKil01

Dude it’s a joke. Everyone knows dick drawings aren’t porn, they’re erotica.


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JoyKil01

Dude—there was a whole monument to deceased children that was desecrated. You have to be from a really shitty home to think that’s okay and that “they deserved it”. GTFO.


[deleted]

"Literal porn". Show me one person who's jerked off to that.


KatastrophicNoodle

I'm waiting for the porn to show up.


JoyKil01

Dude it’s a joke. Everyone knows dick drawings aren’t porn, they’re erotica.


KatastrophicNoodle

Hence the "literal" in the title?


KatastrophicNoodle

Hence the "literal" in the title?


JohnnySoprano69420

Never heard someone call a crude dick drawing literal porn. What kinda porn do you watch?


JoyKil01

Dude it’s a joke. Everyone knows dick drawings aren’t porn, they’re erotica.


Midnightkata

I know everyone's being serious and calling it a good act, it is, but can we all mention that is not porn? It's a dick drawing.... who uses that for porn.


JoyKil01

Dude it’s a joke. Everyone knows dick drawings aren’t porn, they’re erotica.


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JoyKil01

It’s the living ones that are terrible. Whoever spray painted these must not have a very happy home if they don’t have respect for the dead.


BishonenPrincess

Either that or a very fucked up home.


[deleted]

Never seen so much water wasted. Aim it Amy. Aim.


rinkima

Wasted into the grass??


DawsonKydd

I don't want to live in a world where a terrible drawing of a penis is called literal porn.


JoyKil01

Bruh it’s a joke. Everyone knows dick drawings fall into the erotica category.


BuyLucky3950

Unless that’s Limbaugh’s grave or whatever, who does that to a stone?


DonHozy

Balls first; great technique.


BobbyDiglar

[Clarkson!](https://youtu.be/mQlDkETLk6E)


Marinerprocess

I’m Chicago they sandblast it. This looks way more effective


[deleted]

Wait is this bachelors grove???


spacejoint

Love how she handles the balls first.


JoyKil01

A practiced skill indeed.


FortyTwoBrainCells

Literally!


LeonGrave

What a dick


Todd_Howards_Uncle

Whoever did that to the gravestone has not been disciplined by their fathers