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Do you have any support system around you besides him? It might be time to start leaning on those people and becoming more independent from him.
If he’s acting like this now, he won’t be any better when the baby comes.
These are all red flags for emotional abuse. I am so sorry you’re going through this.
I highly encourage you to start building a support system around you of trusted friends and family members. You will need them.
Start saving money away and start getting ready to leave.
I also suggest individual therapy. It will help a lot.
You can do this 💕 I know it’s hard and easier said than done, but you can do this. I wish you love and light OP
i try to communicate with him and he acts like its a chore to hear my cries and i feel like im just a nuisance to him. although i know hes just narcissistic.
My husband was the same in the beginning. He wasn‘t like that every day but he sure hurt me way too many times in the first trimester. Our pregnancy was unexpected so he was dealing with it in his own way. We wanted to wait another 3 years before trying for a child and we were super overwhelmed.
I‘m now due in 2 days and around week 18ish he actually realized that he‘s going to be a father. He has been very sweet and supportive and is beyond happy to meet our child soon. He even sold his car to have extra money for our child although he really didn‘t need to and his car meant everything to him.
If your relationship was good before, work on it and see if he changes. If not, you have to decide for yourself whether you wanna leave or not. Men experience the first trimester as emotional as women do, they might show it differently.
But that doesn‘t mean that you should accept his behaviour though. Keep your distance to him and communicate your feelings. Maybe even go on a little trip with your friends if you‘re feeling well or just stay with family or close friends for a couple of weeks.
One thing that I did was not talking to my husband about the pregnancy AT ALL in the beginning. I just stopped. After some time he started asking questions by himself and I‘d answer his questions but that‘s it.
Oh and I hope no one thinks that I‘m trying to downplay his actions. But during emotional times like these you have to hold on to your relationship as much as possible.
I would say in most cases it is not good for the baby to break down/get anxious/depress or anything related to issues with mental health while pregnant, especially during the first trimester. If you feel like you need help dealing there are support groups. I would also talk to your OB about it for other recommendations
I think it’s ok to feel your feelings. I agree that if it’s a daily thing you should seek support because the less stress you have the better it is for the baby, but it is difficult with hormones no to have some big feelings and it’s ok to let yourself have those.
I would agree, I just want to provide balance that feeling this way every day probably does mean that OP needs more support, but it can be easy to feel guilty for putting the baby under stress and that leads to more stress, so definitely support and avoiding situations that cause stress are good, but I also don’t want OP to add to the guilt knowing that they can’t just turn these feeling off either. I definitely agree that if it’s happening daily then it’s time to get support. Hormones can be up and down but if you are struggling daily for whatever reason, I absolutely agree that it’s time to reach out for more resources etc.
some people build trauma bonds, some love to hard, care too much, or hold on to hope. i didn’t plan on being with him much longer based off how he treats me MENTALLY. our pregnancy wasnt planned our attempt to avoid it didn’t work and i ended up pregnant. i don’t have much a family of my own. i’m basically alone. my dad will be getting a good job and eventually be able to help me but until then i feel im stuck and just want him to have some compassion and a heart. unfortunately he only has it for anyone that isnt his girlfriend
Those are the most important parts of the relationship, the fact that he’s not making you feel emotionally and mentally safe, either pregnant or not is a HUGE red flag 🚩. You need to seriously reconsider your relationship because if a man can treat you this way while you are literally building a baby, how is he going to treat you AND the baby?
The stress of it all could impact your pregnancy but your baby won’t know anything about this situation. Unless you decide to stay with the jackass and raise your child around an emotionally abusive asshole. I really hope you get out of this situation and he doesn’t want any custody because your child doesn’t need to be near him either
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Leave his ass!
Do you have any support system around you besides him? It might be time to start leaning on those people and becoming more independent from him. If he’s acting like this now, he won’t be any better when the baby comes.
No that is not normal to break down daily over a man’s actions/behavior. Sometimes it is better to be alone then in an unhappy relationship.
He sounds like an abusive prick that you need to cut out of your life immediately
These are all red flags for emotional abuse. I am so sorry you’re going through this. I highly encourage you to start building a support system around you of trusted friends and family members. You will need them. Start saving money away and start getting ready to leave. I also suggest individual therapy. It will help a lot. You can do this 💕 I know it’s hard and easier said than done, but you can do this. I wish you love and light OP
thank you so much! bless your heart and soul!
i try to communicate with him and he acts like its a chore to hear my cries and i feel like im just a nuisance to him. although i know hes just narcissistic.
Why is he your boyfriend
My husband was the same in the beginning. He wasn‘t like that every day but he sure hurt me way too many times in the first trimester. Our pregnancy was unexpected so he was dealing with it in his own way. We wanted to wait another 3 years before trying for a child and we were super overwhelmed. I‘m now due in 2 days and around week 18ish he actually realized that he‘s going to be a father. He has been very sweet and supportive and is beyond happy to meet our child soon. He even sold his car to have extra money for our child although he really didn‘t need to and his car meant everything to him. If your relationship was good before, work on it and see if he changes. If not, you have to decide for yourself whether you wanna leave or not. Men experience the first trimester as emotional as women do, they might show it differently. But that doesn‘t mean that you should accept his behaviour though. Keep your distance to him and communicate your feelings. Maybe even go on a little trip with your friends if you‘re feeling well or just stay with family or close friends for a couple of weeks. One thing that I did was not talking to my husband about the pregnancy AT ALL in the beginning. I just stopped. After some time he started asking questions by himself and I‘d answer his questions but that‘s it. Oh and I hope no one thinks that I‘m trying to downplay his actions. But during emotional times like these you have to hold on to your relationship as much as possible.
Yeah you gotta leave. I highly believe that at some point, the emotional abuse will turn physical as well. I'm so sorry
It’s not going to get better.
I would say in most cases it is not good for the baby to break down/get anxious/depress or anything related to issues with mental health while pregnant, especially during the first trimester. If you feel like you need help dealing there are support groups. I would also talk to your OB about it for other recommendations
I think it’s ok to feel your feelings. I agree that if it’s a daily thing you should seek support because the less stress you have the better it is for the baby, but it is difficult with hormones no to have some big feelings and it’s ok to let yourself have those.
IMO, breaking down everyday is not the same as feeling your feelings…
I would agree, I just want to provide balance that feeling this way every day probably does mean that OP needs more support, but it can be easy to feel guilty for putting the baby under stress and that leads to more stress, so definitely support and avoiding situations that cause stress are good, but I also don’t want OP to add to the guilt knowing that they can’t just turn these feeling off either. I definitely agree that if it’s happening daily then it’s time to get support. Hormones can be up and down but if you are struggling daily for whatever reason, I absolutely agree that it’s time to reach out for more resources etc.
Currently going through this. I get it.
some people build trauma bonds, some love to hard, care too much, or hold on to hope. i didn’t plan on being with him much longer based off how he treats me MENTALLY. our pregnancy wasnt planned our attempt to avoid it didn’t work and i ended up pregnant. i don’t have much a family of my own. i’m basically alone. my dad will be getting a good job and eventually be able to help me but until then i feel im stuck and just want him to have some compassion and a heart. unfortunately he only has it for anyone that isnt his girlfriend
to add, he takes care of me in every way except mentally and emotionally which i feel is most critical
Those are the most important parts of the relationship, the fact that he’s not making you feel emotionally and mentally safe, either pregnant or not is a HUGE red flag 🚩. You need to seriously reconsider your relationship because if a man can treat you this way while you are literally building a baby, how is he going to treat you AND the baby?
thank you<3
i just wanna know how badly it could affect my baby crying on almost a daily basis bc he’s rude
The stress of it all could impact your pregnancy but your baby won’t know anything about this situation. Unless you decide to stay with the jackass and raise your child around an emotionally abusive asshole. I really hope you get out of this situation and he doesn’t want any custody because your child doesn’t need to be near him either
thank you !