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The airport employee who held a cold can of Coke to my neck and told me dirty jokes to try and make me laugh when I had a complete and total panic attack on the gangway and refused to get on the airplane. I don't know who you are, but I think about you often, and I hope that your life is amazing.
This is really cool. In the ancient Greek mythos of Persephone, there's a part in the story where her grieving mother is searching for her, and another goddess (Hekate) tells her dirty jokes to help her cheer up. Sounds like you met her in person :)
Oh, I love this! I'm going to go forward thinking that it was actually the incarnation of Hekate who soothed me. 
Six months ago, I melted onto the floor of the courthouse. I had just picked up divorce papers from the clerk's office/counter. I managed to keep my emotions in check all the way up through the garage, through the walk down the long hallway and up to the family division section, and even as she handed me the papers.
But as soon as I turned on my feet to start making the trek back to the parking garage, BAM, floodgates burst open.
There was no seating around, and so I just leaned down against the wall and sat on the floor. I did the *wipe-your-snot-and-tears-using-your-sleeve* move to try and clean my face up. Suddenly, a random lady, dressed all in black, including dark sunglasses, sat down next to me. She took my hand in hers, squeezed it, and just sat there with me. After what felt like an eternity, she got up, and then hoisted me up by my shoulders.
She cupped my chin in her hands, and tilted my head upwards. As she lifted her sunglasses, I saw tears in her eyes too. She gave me a pep talk, told me that I would not only survive this part, but that I would one day thrive again. She also told me to keep my head held high. She then sauntered off, down the long hallway, and out of the main entrance/exit of the courthouse. I just stared as she walked off.
Six months later, I'm happy to report that I'm slooooooowly starting to claw my way back to a sense/state of thriving. I will NEVER forget her kindness, nor the image of her in my mind. I never even got her name. Just a total stranger. And THAT is the power of women uplifting other women.
I got goosebumps reading this! We as women really need to support each other on a daily basis instead of tearing each other down. We've come such a long way, but there is still work ahead of us. We must unite to fight for justice and respect.
As the Carebears always say, "sharing is caring".❤☮☯️
Yesssss! Exactly. And I recently got to 'pay it forward', so to speak. About three months ago, I was invited to testify on behalf of a legislative bill regarding domestic violence, where I got to share my own story.
About three weeks ago, a random lady, who I knew only tangentially, through one of those 'mutual friend knows a mutual friend' types of connections, reached out to me (privately) on another social media platform. It was late at night, almost 10pm. In her message, all she said was:
*Can you talk? My number is.....*
When a random woman you hardly know, and that is practically a stranger to you, writes that kind of message....... you take her call, no matter how late it is. At least that's my opinion.
She said she found my testimony online, which had apparently been recorded and posted online, and said my story inspired her. She spent the next 2+ hours sobbing on the phone to me. She's also in an abusive marriage, and has been for years. She asked me for help and advice on how to get out. We now talk on an almost daily basis, and I check in on her regularly. It seems like she's actually doing the big, huge, courageous thing of extricating herself from the abuse, and I am SO proud of her! 🧡💜🩷🤎
She's so lucky to have you to talk to! Gosh, I wish I'd had someone to talk to when I was getting out of mine. You are courageous, kind, and compassionate. Talking about this, and listening to those who are currently living it, is so important.
I think your new friend is super brave. It is so hard, and takes so much strength to begin doing all the things your abuser makes you believe you are incapable of. But you know that.
I'm sending big energy to each of you. You are both badasses.
Thank you! 🧡 I wish I'd had someone to talk to also. The incident and 'final straw' that finally pushed me to file for the divorce was my soon-to-be-ex-husband getting physically violent with me. He had backed me into a corner of the kitchen, spewed utter hate and vitriol in my face, and I saw his hands erratically fly towards my face and neck.
Later that day, while he was out of the house, I found myself unexpectedly calling a domestic violence hotline, only to have the door effectively slammed in my face, telling me I didn't qualify for help or support, on the basis that I earned too much money. Since I was born and raised abroad, and my parents also still live abroad, it was in this moment I realized I was going to be truly alone in escaping my marriage.
I don't EVER want ANY other woman to have to suffer alone the way too many of us women already have.
And I agree! She is super brave! And I'm so honored that I get to witness her journey. 🤎
Wait, do you mean actress Elizabeth Taylor, or the character Liz Taylor, played by Denis O'Hare on American Horror Story?
I don't know much about Elizabeth, but I know Liz would fit that description!
I’m crying reading this. Just a few months in the separation process of a divorce I didn’t want and a stay in a mental health facility. The shock is unbearable and the alienation from my adult children. There have been so many women over the past months… total strangers who have hugged me and treated me more kindly than the individuals I supported and gave everything to for 25 years. The positive is that it has increased my compassion for others.
I'm so, so sorry. I can completely understand. Even though I initiated the separation and divorce, I didn't want it either. I wished that things could have worked out. But, I knew that I couldn't stay in that environment forever.
You CAN and WILL survive. One day, you WILL thrive again. It doesn't happen overnight, or next week, or even next month. Progress happens in tiny, tiny little steps, often so small we don't even realize or see the steps of progress ourselves. But, in six months? Or a year from now? You'll look back and realize just how far you've come. And we are women: even when we don't feel we have the strength, the strength somehow finds us, and one way or another, we do what we have to do to survive and make it through to the next day, the next week, the next month, the next year, and so on and so forth. One day, you WILL smile with your whole heart and soul again. 🧡
Aww. The posh, icy lady gave you chocolate ❤️
Almost 20 years ago I was a teenager working at a pizza place going through a heart-aching break up. I was behind the register/counter when I started to cry for some reason. A lady enters the store, I turned my back towards her to wipe my eyes/get myself in check, and when I turned back around to greet her, she said “he didn’t deserve you, my dear”. Idk how she knew, but she knew haha. I smiled and said “thank you” and “sorry” (for crying) and she said “I’ve been there, I get it.”
She was so reassuring and comforting. Two decades later and I don’t remember which ex-boyfriend I was crying over, but I do think about that lady’s kindness a lot.
Another random act of kindness on an airplane (that I witnessed, didn’t happen to me): a little boy (I’m guessing about 3 years old) was flying with his mom and at one point he got very, very upset. Mom was trying hard to soothe him but the poor guy was just so sad, getting louder and louder. The mom turned towards the other people on the flight and sheepishly was like “sorry…”
Instead of getting upset, someone started singing If You’re Happy And You Know It. The boy paused his crying. The rest of the passengers joined in the singing. The little guy started clapping and happily bopping. Someone passed up some lollipops for him. He was so happy and Mom was so relieved and grateful. It made all of us passengers happy too, he was absolutely adorable.
My mom was kind to a young teen flying for the first time to meet her father, also for the first time. She was so nervous, and so dressed up, but she got air sick and started making use of the puke bags. My mom was trying to soothe her and build her up a bit by telling her how nice she looked. She started to fill the one puke bag, and I took it from her as another was subbed in. My mom later told me she was proud that I, a young college student, took the puke bag. I was all like... hello? I was sitting across from her, and if she filled that bad boy up or launched a really full bag at me during turbulence, all passengers would be puking. And the first "victim" would have been me. Sometimes kindness is really just logic. Most of the time, really.
The very first time I got on a plane by myself was the first leg of my trip to start grad school on a different continent. It was a 16 seat puddle jumper, and my mom was waving me off at the gate (I am An Old).
One of the 15 golf-shirted businessmen about to board the flight looked at my mom, and looked at me, and told Mom, "Don't worry, we'll take good care of her." 🥰🥰
I (69f) was in the ED when I thought I was having a heart attack. I had already had an ekg and blood work, and they didn't think it was that. So I had to wait in the waiting room. While on reddit, I saw a young woman sobbing and praying. I asked her if she wanted company. Yes, I sat. I told her I needed a distraction from my fears about my heart. She told me her concerns. We comforted each other for about 2 hours. Mutual random acts.
To the woman who came upon me in a stairway minutes after I found out my father was dying and simply held me while I broke down, I hope she's having the best life possible.
The way women support each other, especially strangers, especially in times of distress, truly gives me hope in humanity.
I was a 36 yo man standing in the hall of the hospital crying after finding out my dad died. Two ladies walked by and asked if I was okay. They said they would be walking back that way in a few minutes and would check on me again. And they did. That was almost 27 years ago.
OMG I am so thankful to the ladies who have offered me support in public. Especially when: I was having Thanksgiving dinner with my abusive parents in a fancy hotel in Hilton Head, SC around 1990 or so. I could not stop crying but my parents refused to let me leave, I went to the bathroom and this older lady said "I want you to know, you deserve better than that. I'm seated behind your family and I can't BELIEVE the way they're speaking to you, I don't care WHAT you did, you don't deserve to be talked to that way." Then she hugged me for a long moment. I will never forget that, and in her honor I have offered support to many crying people in public.
I was on an airplane in the window seat and right before takeoff (we were already on the runway) I started feeling ill… the kind of ill where you know you’re either going to puke or shit your pants. Horrifying. I’d been chatting with the women in my row prior - they were heading home after a missionary trip to Africa. I told them I needed to stop talking because I felt so poorly. I started to sweat profusely and tried to find a comfortable position to ride out the pain. The woman beside me asked if she could fan me, and I said yes. She used the airplane card in the seat back pocket to give me some air. Her friend asked if she could pray for me - yes, I said. Not usually my thing, but I was in no position to refuse any kind of help.
After about 10 minutes my symptoms subsided, and I felt normal again. I’m not really religious but those women being with me when I felt lower than I’ve ever felt was the kind of love that people associate with god - unconditional, caring about me on a human level kind of love.
These stories are amazing, keep being good to one another!
I had my four very young kids with me and in the span of about 15 minutes we had a total wipe out headed into the grocery store resulting in one child scraped up head to toe, and then another child puked in the parking lot on our way out. Each time there was a different 40 something woman ready with exactly what I needed, right there helping me clean up blood and vomit. A third woman even went into Starbucks to get some water - one to sip on and one to clean with. Complete with a washcloth. I couldn’t pick any of them out of a line up and I never got a name but I think about them often.
I regularly check on parents of little kids when I’m out. It’s part of my responsibility as someone with older kids. I’m sure some people think I’m crazy, but I had enough times where a random stranger stopped me from crying, I have to do it.
I'm crazy right with you then.
I was never able to have children. We tried for 20 years and lost multiple pregnancies, including with our surrogate who was briefly carrying our twins.
I still try hard for parents who are struggling. I've caught run away children, and soothed tantrums, and explained flying to terrified teenagers.
No one knows I don't have 12 kids at home, so I just step in and act like I'm another mom. I think we owe each other as much kindness and grace as we can scrape together. Always.
I don’t think this is the first time I’ve mentioned this on Reddit but here goes.
About 8 years ago I was working a very demanding internship, while taking Organic Chemistry and Biochemistry fast courses over the summer, my uncle was dying tragically, my middle child sister was in jail, my boyfriend has just left for a month long backpacking trip in Europe, my twin was out of state for the summer, and my estranged father had moved back in.
Life. Was. HARD.
I was attempting to email my eldest sister (from aforementioned internship email) and I typed her email wrong. I forgot the number at the end. This email was a RANT about life, money, school, work, family woes, etc.
I received back the sweetest email from this random stranger that had the same unique spelling as my older sister. She took away the embarrassment of her getting the dirty details of my life and really made me feel less alone in the world. She provided words of wisdom and basically told me life is a tsunami sometimes but I would get through it.
I sent her a follow up email a year or two ago thanking her again for the kindness she showed me years ago.
I still think about her kindness regularly.
You’d get my props alone for taking summer organic, much more so with biochem on top! That’s a science student for you. 🤗
Having to deal with life on top of that must have been so stressful. It goes to show that school is a lot but it’s usually life that kicks your tail.
I’m so glad that you survived and found unexpected support. I hope you’re living your best life,
I ended up taking Organic Fundamentals again that fall even though I passed summer Organic because I didn’t think I had a strong enough foundation for Metabolic Chemistry- I was right. Thank you!! I am doing my best. I hope you are great 😊
There’s no shame in retaking organic. It was my weakest area in undergrad and I’ve ended up teaching it a few times. It’s definitely better the second time around!
When my doctors would ask me what I taught, and I said organic, most cringed. My neurologist said if all doctors had to have A’s in organic, we’d have even fewer doctors 😂
I am going great! Thank you 💕.
Edit: punctuation and grammar
I took 2 days of it.. dropped it. Took the summer course. Scraped by with a C+… then took Fundamentals just to solidify my foundation. Got an A in Fundamentals. also worked out that the teacher for Fundamentals was one of the best I had.
Organic is impossible 😂😂😂
This made me lol so much I was scrolling through all these emotional stories, then suddenly I learn there is no shame in retaking organic hhah. Thank you scientists i hope all has worked out for you xxxx Ps no idea what organic is
Years ago, I was like 24. I was out for a jog to try to clear my head about a fight I was having with my best friend. I almost got hit by a car (like it ZOOMED past me missing me by millimeters) through no fault of my own—I thought they were stopping at the crosswalk for me and they weren’t. I crossed the road, staring down every car around me. Then collapsed on the next corner sobbing.
Lady, 50s maybe, in SUV pulls up “I saw what happened. Can I give you a ride home?”
Me, thinking: don’t get in cars with strangers…: “uh no…..uh actually yes” she reminded me of my grandma and honestly it seemed like a moment to trust humanity.
She drove me home (it was like 5 minutes, only because I gave her the wrong address at first) and she listened to me pour my heart out and reassured me it would be okay. I think about her a lot and hope all of her kindness has come back to her fiftyfold.
Sobbing my heart out in the park, couldn’t hold it together any longer. Was suicidally depressed and coming to terms with the fact I was going to have to get divorced. I was hysterical, and an older construction worker came and sat by me and rubbed my back (not in a creepy way) and asked if there was anyone he could call to come get me. Never forgotten him and this was over 10 years ago.
Amy. The case worker at the hospital my Gram was at, who heard my concerns about Gram's safety, hugged me while I cried, and helped me get her somewhere safe, and closer to me.
Stephan, the infusion nurse who not only immediately eases my anxiety with her presence, but is an amazing nurse. I sobbed once after fighting the insurance and hearing they were delaying care again. She handed me tissues, rubbed my arm, and told me "I gotchu girl, these insurance companies make us cry too, I'll take care of them." And, she did. 🥺
The nurse midwife who calmed me down with gentle shoulder presses and breathing exercises when I had a complete melty melt after my IUD removal. It hurt like a SONOFABITCH, and I did NOT expect it.
That thing with the IUD is criminal or at least it should be. Why were you not expecting it? Bc your effing dr didn’t tell you it would hurt that bad because they don’t think it hurts that bad. It’s a thing and I hate it so much.
I'm certain mine had implanted a little. I don't think they knew it would hurt that bad.
Read Mirena's prescribing information. It says people MAY experience SOME pain and doctors should consider analgesics.
Mirena's manufacturer lies to doctors about how painful it is. They should be held responsible too.
Class action lawsuit, anyone?
Given that the "father of gynecology" was a doctor who performed multiple surgeries without anesthesia on his female slaves, is there any wonder what we still have to go through to prove we feel pain?
Count me in!!! My whole body reflexively lifted of the table and I actually screamed out in pain. I knew it wasn’t going to feel good, but I didn’t expect it to feel like they were ripping my whole uterus out. The nurse that was in the room with me had major RBF and did not seem like the warm and fuzzy type. But man did my first impression of her change in the immediate aftermath of scraping me off the ceiling. She was so kind and let me squeeze her hand. Don’t know how I didn’t break every single finger bone.
The worst thing is I was in such shock afterwards that when the doctor asked if I still wanted to have the new one inserted, I said yes. Why?!?!? I’ve got three years to go and at least once a month I think about how I’m going to have to endure that again when the time comes.
Holy shit this is so depressing. I’ve never had an IUD but I used it as a question when screening new gyns. Do you offer analgesics when you remove or implant and IUD? The one I chose said “I used one every time unless the patient specifically requests not to have it. It takes 30 seconds to administer.”
Imagine - all these women have suffered for lack of an analgesic that takes 30 seconds to administer.
I’m going to fight like hell for some sort of anesthesia. Because, to me at least, it was *that bad.* This isn’t the first Reddit rant I’ve gone on about it. Like you, I think that mine was implanted a little. But probably it just sucks that much for everyone, although I certainly hope not. I’d throw a celebration party for anyone I knew who has it removed who *might* experience just *some* pain. Better some not go through agony if not all of us.
Please don't endure that again!!
Please, find a Dr who listens when you say your last removal was excruciating and you demand pain relief before remove. There *are* Drs who will listen to you. Even if they're unfortunately rare.
I had two IUDs in my life. The first one I've gotten by a gynecologist at a hospital in Zurich and she was loving, kind and distracted me while implanting that little thing of horror. It was painful but quite swift. And even though I had mild pain in the downer region after that all went well. To be honest, I never knew before that moment that getting an IUD laid would be painful at all. So I wasn't expecting it any maybe it was for the best.
Some years later I needed to decide on if I wanted it to be removed for good or replaced and since I was still not ready for kids (and still don't know if ever, but thats another thing) I easily decided on a second one. I was all well, up until the point where I sat in the waiting room of my doctor. I was like "wait...wasn't the procedure kind of painful last time?".
Well, I developed some anxiety issues along the way and I'm sure it didn't help. I got it done, but I remember saying to my gyn "If this feels even nearly like conceiving a child, I'll never get one". He laughed it off, which I remember was kind of rude at that time.
One of the receptionists was kindly enough to hold my hand while the IUD was inserted, because it did hurt much more than I remembered and even feared. Not impossible to uphold but the kind of pain you don't want to have again (and here I'm sure I am again overdramatic because of the anxiety). I also bled more than I should have, maybe he did something wrong inserting it, I don't know and will never know. I never visited this gyn after. (also for other reasons) - Oh and I still don't know what was the painful phase: Removing the old one that probably got "stuck" in some way or inserting the new one.
Anyway, some years after that, I think it was some months ago now, the IUD had do be removed and I decided against a new one. New Gyn aswell, also because we've moved. The doctor was patient and comforting and didn't even focus on a pain at all but "got on with it" and with one swift pull, the thing was out and done with. Felt like a very short, pinchy feeling in the uterus-section but nothing noticable. Some pain though came afterwards. Even after a week I felt 'something', but the most recent impact was on my psyche and I still don't know why.
The moment I got to the reception and paid for the IUD I was kind of happy and proud to have beaten the anxiety and made it out without immense pain. I was a bit shaky and far too energised. So I paid, left the gyn and wanted to shop some groceries on the way home. I became shaky and depressed af in an instant. I remember walking between the ailes and thinking to myself "I did a mistake", "This feels wrong" and "I don't know what to do anymore, maybe my life ends here". It's not that you'll get or become pregnant the second after removing the IUD or something, but it was...I felt so devastated and was pale white back then. I cried for a bit and recovered afterwards, but I was so confused about my reaction to the procedure at all.
Well, anyway, sorry for the long text, I guess I just wanted to tell someone, also telling that it really depends on the doctor, on how long you had your IUD and the expectations.
The moment you get your IUD out, please try not to stress yourself. You will recover from this and chances are high that even if you had a bad experience it doesn't need to repeat itself. Feel yourself hugged when in doubt, you are not alone <3. (not my native tongue, sorry for any mistakes!)
Thanks for sharing this! It’s always good to know what other people experience so it’s not a shock if the same thing happens to me. I hope you’re feeling better now! ❤️
100% on board for a class action lawsuit. Lies lies and more lies from those bastards. My dtr is still struggling with pain and almost blacked out with her insertion. And we didn't even know anesthesia was an option for her nor myself.
IUD hell is a topic close to my heart (as it were!) I wanted to share something I learned today - maybe others already know about this, but my friend in the Netherlands just told me she has a new type of iud which was not designed by a medieval torturer - it's called [ballerine](https://iub-ballerine.com) and is made up of little copper beads - my v uninformed assessment is that it just LOOKS so much nicer! It is not available in UK as far as I know but I think is being rolled out in a few other countries. I can often be found ranting about how the IUD in its current shape has not been updated for more than 50 years. Imagine that kind of stasis in any other area of healthcare.
Many years ago when I was in college, before I knew I was allergic to alcohol, I had a few drinks at a party. It was not an unreasonable amount of alcohol by any means, but in the early hours of the morning the poisoning symptoms of the allergy had me so ill I needed an ambulance. I was polluted and sick like someone who has had massive quantities of alcohol.
Before I got to this point of realization about how serious my condition was, I was slumped in the hallway with a garbage pail outside my dorm room so I didn’t disturb my friend and room mate with my vomiting. Two other young women came across me on their way to or from somewhere else. I couldn’t even muster the energy to feel shame at the state I surely must have been in, I was too sick. Not a minute later those two ladies came back with a bottle of water and a bottle of Gatorade, and gave them to me with some kind words I was too messed up to remember, but I remember they were soothing.
I ended up needing medical intervention, but the kindness from those two young women when I was in such vulnerable and humiliating state has left a lasting impression on me after all these years.
This is so lovely. Cherish those moments. People are more kind than they are not but these moments aren’t often recorded. I hope you have many more, and more opportunities for you to pay it forward.
A sweet Indian grandmother knocked on my office door at work to ask where the elevator was. I was mid sob, and when she saw I was crying she sat down in my office until I was calm. She asked who made me cry and when I said no one she looked at me and said, very seriously, "I will find them. I will make THEM cry".
This woman was all of 4'11 and I didn't doubt her for a second. When she left she gave me the warmest hug.
When I came in the next morning there was a bag of fruits and Indian sweets on my door knob.
I would die for that woman.
excellent! yes, let's be there of other woman. I have stepped in while at stores 2x when Mom's were in the checkout line and their children were not staying by them. I offered to keep an eye on them while their Mom's could finish, within her view of course. Once I traded seats with a man who was complaining about the child behind kicking the seat and the overwhelmed Mom was trying to stop it. I didn't react when the little girl kicked the seat once I traded and she stopped after a couple times
It’s so good to share these generous, compassionate moments of care. I think it helps normalize “getting involved” which certainly is a thing in America that comes with sufficient risk or vulnerability that we think we should just leave people alone (which we shouldn’t)
i have an airplane story too! i was 12 and flying alone. they have an employee accompany you in the airport but on the flight you're all by yourself, and this was my first time flying.
my legal guardian had just landed herself in prison, and I was flying halfway across the country to go stay with a relative I'd never met or even spoken to. I was pretty scared. And I definitely wasn't ready for the pressure in my ears! I'll never forget the kind smile from the girl who offered me gum. She couldn't have been older than 20 herself. But she took the time to notice the clearly stressed kid and try to help.
My parents split when I was really young, and I did a lot of flying as an unaccompanied minor. One year I was leaving after a summer with my dad's family and I was really devastated. I was sobbing alone on the plane as they seat kids first. This extremely kind flight attendant went back to the gate and found my gram. They brought her onto the plane to sit with me until they needed to close the doors. She held me and told me she loved me for probably 20 minutes.
It's been 30 years and I still think of that kind flight attendant. I hope that life has been as kind to her as she was to a crying little girl.
I remember this woman who asked if I was ok in this public bathroom.
My mom had unexpectedly died a couple of weeks earlier, and I just found out my job was abruptly terminated.
When this unknown kind woman asked me that, I started crying. She just wrapped her arms around me. A real warm hug.
Still makes me tear up thinking about the kindness of this woman.
To the female nurse who gave me the biggest hug in the emergency room, actually cried real tears for me and brought me a sandwich. I couldn’t leave my mom. She was rapidly declining and I was scared of losing her. She was like an angel that day.
Also to a different female nurse who put her two cents in after the doctor left the room. The doctor was incredibly rude to me and made me cry. After he left the room the nurse said all I can say is keep fighting. You’ll get your diagnosis but you’ll have to be strong and ignore people like him until then. She said she’s been there and held my hand and gave me Kleenexes while I bawled.
The day my husband died, my mom took me and our 3 sons out to eat at Golden Corral.
She kept telling me to hold it together. Stay strong and don't fall apart because the boys need me.
But while filling my plate, it suddenly hit me like a steamroller. I shoved my plate to whoever it was standing behind the buffet and ran to the bathroom thinking I could fall apart in there and no one would know.
Unfortunately, the bathroom was full of women. I wound up crying all over some poor lady who had the nerve to ask if I was okay. Lol
A couple days later the same thing happened at a different restaurant. A nicer one because my mom picked.
I again ran to the bathroom and a very nice lady let me cry my eyes out on her shoulder.
Then later, when my mom asked for the check, the waiter told her it had already been paid.
By the nice lady from the bathroom.
Thank you. It's been 10 years now. Our boys are grown and doing splendidly. He would be so proud of them.
Of us actually. I went out on a First Date with my son's best friend's dad tonight.
Best first date ever.
i don't know how old your sons are, but in case they are not old enough to have processed what that loss was like for you and is like for you - my dad died very unexpectedly when i was 14 and my brother was 9. he was young, 39, no known health conditions, "known" being the keyword there. even being a teenager, i was too wrapped up in my own shit to spare much of a thought for what my mom was going through. the grief, the total upheaval of the life she knew...as an adult, it is truly staggering to reflect upon, and i feel such a sense of gratitude and, truly, pride for my mom. logically, i know she struggled, and i also know this from the stories she's told me decades later, but man, she hit the ground running and provided stability for us when her world was falling apart. so, if your sons are not yet at a point where they can tell you - thank you. thank you for getting up and getting through it - whatever that looks like on any given day.
Thank you. We actually got much closer after that. We circled the wagons I guess. We adopted a dog to help fill some of the void and she is still the center of the family. It's been 10 years now and the boys are grown and doing very well and we hug and say love you, every time we see each other.
I keep thinking how proud he would be of them, of us.
My husband, kids, and I attended a pride parade early this summer - my very first one. I was raised in an extremely conservative religious family who were very anti-LGBTQ. I was ashamed of my sexuality as I grew up, and it’s only fairly recently that I’ve been open with anyone about the fact that I’m bi. Still a secret from my parents, though.
At the parade, I was completely overwhelmed and cried for the first twenty minutes, and then was able to gather myself together.
Until the Free Mom Hugs women got to our place on the sidelines. I made eye contact with one of the moms, tears streaming down my face, and she came over and gave me the hugest, tightest hug while I sobbed into her neck.
I will never forget her.
This is the one that made the tears that were building up start pouring over. Besides my lesbian aunts, I don’t have any *close* friends/family who are part of the LGBTQ community. I’m 100% pro, though. I’m so happy you got that mom hug. I hope you have many more to come. xo
This is the kind of person I hope to be should I be in this situation. A small act of kindness can mean so much. And even if they are a jerk about your offer of kindness, just move on, at least you tried and maybe later on they will appreciate someone cared and they'll feel bad about how they responded.
The woman who held me as I sobbed while walking through a grocery store. This was just a few days after I had buried my 11 year old child. I was going stir crazy at home so I drove to the grocery store and started walking the aisles, desperate to do something normal, even for a few minutes.
I was fine until I hit the section that held one of my daughter’s favorite foods. I started sobbing right there in the aisle. I quickly walked away, trying to control my tears and failed miserably. Finally I realize there was someone walking next to me, and as I glanced to my left, this woman gently took my hand and just walked a few steps with me. I stopped and she stopped and put her arms around me and we stood there in the grocery store, locked in an embrace as I cried on her shoulder.
I told her, through my blubbering tears, that I had buried my daughter, and had no idea how I was going to survive. She just held me and let me cry. After a few minutes, I lifted my head and realized there were a few people standing around, just kind of watching. A couple of them were praying. Apparently they just saw someone in desperate need and did what they could.
I suddenly felt embarrassed and quickly walked away, but told them all thank you as I left. I remember leaving my basket there and just rushing to get out of the store. When I got to my car, I quickly started it and went to a very empty part of the parking lot, parked, and cried some more.
I don’t know who the lady was and honestly, I used to sometimes wonder if she ever existed. I was very grateful for her, whoever she was. She knew I needed somebody and she was there.
I'm so sorry. I've lost so many loved ones that by the time of my biggest hit, my 32 year old daughter died, I was an expert and crying with no one knowing. Just like you, the grocery store. Her favorite moon drop grapes.
Keep on keeping on, mama. She's with you every step of the way.
Your story made me full on cry with how tragic and how beautiful that moment must have felt like for you. No words can make up for such a profound loss (and I don't know the right ones to say anyway) but I hope you doing alright🩷 sending hugs from afar 🫂
Gosh, as a mom to a 10 year old daughter - my ONLY baby - this just rips my heart out. I am SO sorry that you are experiencing this. I say "experiencing" because, let's be honest, that doesn't stop. Sending you so much love.
This is such a moving description of being helped just to survive a few moments, in a time that is unbearable. I am so sad for you and for your daughter - really, because all this works the other way around too. Reading all the posts here, I feel so priveleged to be given these tiny windows into the darkest corners of strangers' hearts. Strangers' pain, as well as their kindness, means something to us. I wish I could put all these stories into a book - they are so important! Sending you all the best - and I hope that those lovely people in the store will be similarly cared for, should they someday need it. Xxx
The random woman in Sausalito who noticed that I was on the verge of crying and sat and talked with me. She made me feel like an actual human in the middle of a very dehumanizing period of life. I hope she's doing well.
In ICU after emergency surgery to fix an intestinal fistula caused by a surgery two weeks prior. I had’nt washed my hair/had a shower for two weeks because of abdominal staples and I was gross.
I was miserable - scared, hurting. This wonderful ICU nurse asked me what would make me comfortable and I said “Clean hair”.
She got a basin, warm water, shampoo. She adjusted the bed and had the team pull me back on the bed so my head hung over the end, and she washed, rinsed and dried my hair. So unbelievably caring. I felt so cherished.
We were “pulling the plug” on my dad, and my family was trying to get me to hurry there. I ended up hitting a parked car (gently, no actual damage). I was ok to haul ass to someone so I could get a paper and pen to write my info down when two little older ladies walked out to that car I hit. I told them what happened and both gave me really good gramma hugs.
I was on a plane from NY to London the night of the 2016 US election. We know what happened there so when the plane touched down and everyone’s phones got a signal again I heard the news and just started sobbing. My other family members were celebrating so I felt very alone and walked off by myself to cry and some random older (70ish) woman from California saw me and came over and gave me a hug and we just both stood there and cried for a bit then she took my hand and said “Don’t give up the fight!”, squeezed my hand and left. It made me feel not so alone in that moment.
When I was 18 I moved about 10 hours away to attend university in Montreal. Maybe my second week there, I was walking home from a bar (alone, which was dumb) and was only about a block away from my building when I passed an extremely drunk man trying to get into his car, but he was too drunk to put the key in the door. He was yelling to himself but upon seeing me he started screaming at me and coming towards me. A couple happened to turn onto the block at that moment and they flanked me on either side while they continued walking, allowing me to fall in with them. They made sure I was okay and walked me the rest of the way to my dorm. I didn't end up staying at the school (for other reasons, not bc of this event) but I will always be grateful to them.
It was my first day back to work after my father’s death and funeral. My husband and I stopped at Subway for lunch. I must have been very spaced out and that was perceived as over interested. Anyway, the young woman behind the counter asked me if I was a Secret Shopper. I told her no that I was just really sad. She came to the other side of the counter to hug me. I will never forget it and I hope she is doing well in every part of her life.
My mother had died, unexpectedly. I had to fly home with my toddler, who didn’t understand and was being unruly in the terminal. I know I was short with him and raised my voice. She was an older person and very prim and proper. Someone I would assume was judging my parenting skills. She saw my frustration and the tears welling up from being so overwhelmed and she picked my son up and comforted him and chatted with him. I was eternally grateful for a few minutes to collect myself, so I didn’t loose it in the airport.
To the nurse who wiped my tears as I was getting a breast biopsy done…directly after I had been rude to her because I had been waiting so long 🩷
I apologized afterwards and she was so kind and understanding.
Reading this post and comments has made me tear up. So many wonderful stories of kindness in a world that frequently feels very unkind. Thank you all for sharing.
Other side. I was a 18m year old freshman in college and I was sitting in a lounge area at the library when a lady in her early 30s sat near me. She wore a jacket covered in military patches. I commented on it saying I thought it was cool and the next thing I know she is telling me her life story and eventually about her recent miscarriages and hysterectomy and relationship problems. It went on for what seemed to be a half hour but was probably only 15 minutes.
I was a bit overwhelmed but I stuck with it and kept my comments as noncommittal and understanding as possible. She eventually wound down and looked at me in shock. I just smiled at her and said that she must have needed to get that out.
She was a bit embarrassed but also looked so relieved. We chatted a bit more and she left. Still think about her on occasion when I am at my wits end and reminded that I should talk it out instead of stewing in my internal mess. Even if it means confiding in a stranger.
I was super down in my life and considering self-exiting. It must’ve shown on my face, because a few waitresses at the café I was at stopped by to talk with me about super simple things. It’s nice to know that people do notice, and it made me feel seen.
I get it. I really felt compelled to tell you that though. I am getting teary eyed just thinking about how even though I don't know you, I am getting yo actually say that to you because you are STILL HERE. I'm sure your choice to not "self-exit" has positively impacted others.
When I was in the ER and believed to be dying, the two nurses who stayed with me, and later, the ICU nurse, were angels.
I'd had massive pulmonary embolisms that were misdiagnosed. So my husband flew out of town for business. He returned a week later to find me on death's door. I would not have survived another 12 hours. The radiologist had already read my lung scan as a "cadaver" scan from an autopsy and multiple Drs told us this was it. My body just turned out to be stubborn.
The 2 nurses brought me a tiny, wrist wrap stuffed leopard to hold onto during the painful tests. Then, while my husband called my parents to tell them I wasn't expected to survive the night, they sat and stroked my hair and cried when I wasn't looking. My breathing was slowing, winding down, and I lay there and stroked that leopard for *hours* while we waited for me to "crash" (their words).
And Daria, the ICU nurse, was the epitome of the mom you want when you're sick. She had the softest, coolest hands. And was so lovely. So kind.
Obviously the situation sucked. But I've remembered these women for 20 years and am still grateful for them comforting a 28 yr old, 2,000 miles from her family, who'd been told she wouldn't ever see morning again.
I'm a crier, too. I tear up when everybody stops at the intersection to let a firetruck or ambulance pass by... every. single. time. It's embarassing for me and confusing for others because i have RBF naturally and then I'll start crying at the slightest trigger...
When I was in sophomore in college and crying on the shuttle back to my dormroom, some girls saw, made me a handmade card and brought it to my dormroom.
One time I bumped the back of this woman's car, she got out, gave me a hug, got back in the car and drove away.
I've broken down crying at work and my female colleagues pep talk me and gave me hugs.
A few years ago, I was visiting my mom at the hospital when her doctors gave us the news that they were moving her to hospice care (this was a big shock to us, she was 49years old and last we’d heard was that she was doing well on chemo). After sorting things out with the hospital, I went to my car and proceeded to bawl my eyes out. This sweet old women had parked next to me on her way in to an appointment, held my hand and sat with me for 30 minutes. She missed her appointment, but didn’t want me to try driving when I was so upset. She also dug out every napkin in her car for me.
I hope she’s doing well.
I had a baby 8 days ago, no epidural, traumatic vaginal delivery, we could've lost him but we got him back. Through it all I forgot about myself.
Then it was time for me to go to the restroom for the first time. My nurse Jennifer was the absolute sweetest woman alive. I know it's her job, but she was so gentle with me. We got everything situated and I walked over to wash my hands, she gently brushed the hair outta my face and helped me back to bed. I felt very mothered and I really needed that.
Women taking care of women is what I live for.
Not so random because I knew her a little bit - but when I was 19 I did a study abroad program with a bunch of kids in my major who were all 2-4 years older than me (i.e. I was the only “minor” in the group). I was drinking so much at that age and didn’t handle being in a country where I could drink legally very well. The night before the end of our program - so the night before I had an early flight back to the US - I got stupid drunk. So drunk I would have completely missed my flight if my housemate didn’t pack most of shit for me and wake me up in time to less-drunkenly get my shit together enough to get to the airport. I was a mess and went through the stages of wasted to hungover on my layovers back to Sea Tac airport from Glasgow.
But I never would have made it if it wasn’t for Shelby Rae. Girl, you saved my ass and I think of you gratefully even 15 years later.
My boyfriend had broken up with me, a few months after I’d moved to Boston for him (half way across the country). Only he had a car, so I was on foot or public transpo. He had split to his mother’s, leaving me to handle all of the separation tasks on my own with zero support and no vehicle.
My move back home involved shipping my belongings back.
1. I went to the local hardware store to see if I could rent a hand truck. It was a small local place, not a big box store with a rental department. I must have looked like I needed some help (hadn’t eaten or slept much in days), because they let me take it for free. It was a huge relief because I was strapped and having to spend to fly myself and my dog home, not to mention shipping costs.
2. The neighborhood I was in was super hilly, with uneven sidewalks and winding roads (Beacon Hill, IYKYK), so hauling hand truck-fulls of boxes was arduous. On one run, this older woman, thin, very fit, dressed in high-end athleisure, walked by me with friends and asked if I needed help. I declined and thanked her (embarrassed and didn’t want to be a burden). On my next run, which was partially bulky and awkward, she saw me again and just said “you look like you need help, I’m helping” in a strong Northeastern accent. She grabbed some things from me and then walked with me to the post office, even showing me a short cut that substantially reduced the total walking time.
It was such a difficult, lonely, and emotional time…Having support from total strangers was fortifying.
I love your stories thank you for sharing them :)
I once had a panic attack in the middle of a boxing exercise class at the gym, one of the ladies was a nurse and she came and sat with me on the other side of the room on the floor while I was shaking and crying and not breathing well. A couple of other ladies came to ask if I was okay too even though the class was still going, it was really sweet.
Afterwards the instructor came up to me and said she was proud of me for making it to the class and explained her son had anxiety too, she was surprised I could drive and was asking for tips on how to teach her son to drive so I told her what I could. It was nice, but I was too embarrassed to go back to the class.
10 years later I'm considering joining the gym again, I've been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, Autism Spectrum Disorder along with others so I am learning tools to cope better in those environments now that I understand how my brain works a bit better. I still think of that time and I am so grateful for the ladies who helped.
I lost it at the bathroom sink of a diner after putting my cat to sleep. A woman came out of the next stall and just hugged me as I cried. She told me about her son who she'd lost the month prior, and how it gets better, whatever you're going through. I am forever grateful for her kindness and grace when I can't even imagine the pain she must have been in.
Just started to read through some of these replies and i love them so much thank you for sharing (watch out, I'll be crying soon 🙂) I love how others have also been keeping "lists" of these moments - and how most of these women prob have no idea how much their kindness helped us xx
I am the type of person to do this sort of thing. I think sharing kindness is one of the greatest things we can do as human beings. We need to help each other.
Unfortunately is simply is not that simple. If I (a man) were to sit down beside a woman in an airport and hold her hand, there would be instant suspicion of my motives. I have, in the past, offered help to women who were clearly distressed. Nealy every time me approaching them, no matter how carefully or respectfully I have approached them, my presence did everything except to comfort them. I really hate this about contemporary culture. I understand everyone needs to be cautious, especially women who are alone. I just wish so much that if I saw someone having a break down I could give them a big hug and hold them.
I absolutely agree. Women in general are put on guard because people suck. They shouldn't have to be on guard. But your second point is outstandingly correct. Offering help should be our first impulse. Always.
I empathize. That sucks.
One thing I noticed upthread was the story of the older construction worker who came to comfort the crying woman. He asked he if he could call anyone for her, to come help. That seemed like a good way to send the message that the comforter wasn’t trying to take advantage or insert himself in her situation in any kind of creepy way.
You're absolutely right that offering physical comfort may not be the way to go, but here's my story about a kind man I still remember from around 20 years ago.
I was in my early 30s, and in the airport, flying out to family. I realized after getting through security that my debit cars was gone from my purse. No idea if I'd lost it or it had been taken. This was in the days when owning and operating a cellphone was terribly expensive, and I didn't have one.
I ran to the bank of payphones, attempting to call my husband so he could get the card cancelled, but they weren't working. I was beginning to panic when a guy about my age in a business suit came up to me and said he'd noticed I looked upset and was having trouble with the phones. He offered his cell to me, which was a pretty big deal at the time. I called my husband and was able to leave on my flight without worrying that we were going to have our bank account drained while I was in the air.
It took only a few minutes of his day, and probably cost a couple of bucks. But what I never forgot was that he noticed my stress and offered to help.
I love this ❤️ And totally agree with you, noone should feel like they can't be kind to someone, I guess it's just a bit more straightforward for women to do this with each other?
I like your comment and I hear you - but the sad fact is that unknown men who hold women’s hands are often a real or perceived threat. And lots of men use vulnerability as an "in" - I have been hit on while crying more than once. It's like how some guys will make a beeline for the drunkest girl at the party.
I do think it's absolutely possible for men to show empathy and kindness to women in public - I have experienced this too of course - and you sound like a thoughtful person. Just don't touch women in these situations, please! and don't"loom" or crowd - be very aware of your physical presence. And if she doesn't want comfort, drop it straight away. Persistence, however gentle and well meaning, will be felt as intrusive or worse. If you do these things already, just bear in mind that many ppl do not want to be comforted in public, and try not to take it personally (see the postscript on my original post!)wishing you well!
Thank you for continuing to offer support. I am cautious like nearly every other woman, but I honestly connect with men better sometimes because when I don't feel suspicious of their motives, I feel like if a guy offers to help or listen, it's genuine and (probably from my own life experiences) women sometimes have ulterior motives. Not all, of course. I've just not had great female friends.
To the old lady who tried to comfort me in the throws of full blown labor contractions I’m sorry I wasn’t nice lol. She was so sweet.
Story: my (ex)husband was deployed, my mom was parking the car and getting my toddler son handled so my great uncle was pushing me in a wheel chair to L&D. My daughter was born about 40 minutes later so we’re talking I’m feeling like I’m dying contractions and I just wanted to be left alone and silence. Weird for me since I’m a social person and my sons labor I wanted all the conversations as distraction. This poor gently kind elderly woman patted my arm as I was breathing trying to keep it together in the elevator and said “you’re doing great hunny.” She was so sweet. I gritted my teeth and grunted my uncles name while breathing. She got the hint and never dropped her smile but man I feel like a jerk lol
You are obviously going through a hard time at the moment. When did you last take some time for yourself? It doesn't need to be anything extravagant or costly, I have found even ten minutes to just breathe and watch the sunset or rise, which helps enormously to recentre and calm my mind and emotions, can give me the internal strength to move forward. Please remember to take a little time for yourself to regroup, recentre, and focus. XOXO ❤️
Thank you ❤️I am fine - should prob have made clear on my post that these things have happened over the course of 10,12 years - most days I'm not crying 😊regardless, I like your advice and will try to do these things - they sound beneficial for everyone! Xx
When I was in an abusive relationship during the pandemic, I used to take long walks with my dog around our complex at dusk so I could cry without people seeing. An older (early 70s) woman from the neighborhood walked over with her dogs and started chatting with me. She invited me over to her house for dinner. As soon as I got to her place she asked me what kind of abuse I was going through. I immediately melted to the floor and started bawling. I thought I was doing a better job of hiding my pain but this woman I had never met saw me from a couple yards away and knew. We sat on the floor of her little apartment and she told me about her life and her experiences with abuse in her marriage. She told me that I had to get out now. I wiped my tears and she checked me before I left so that it didn't look like I had been crying. For the 3 weeks until I fled the state, she would walk by our place when she walked her dogs. I saw her more in 3 weeks than I had in 3 years. We would stop and let our dogs play a bit while I gave her updates about my plans. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to her before I left. She was an angel during the worst point in my life. Wherever you are, Di, you probably saved my life. Thank you for dinner 🩷
Don't do what? Ask a question? I'm genuinely curious. I know people are wired differently hence me asking. How about you don't assume there's offense taken or meant.
And let's be honest, some emotionally wired people DO need a therapist. Don't let the internet hype you up. If a question to someone else was enough to make you feel a severe way, maybe YOU need to see one.
I have a therapist lol. But not because I am always crying (I'm not - these things have happened to me over 10+ years, though that's beside the point). I think the volume of responses here shows that tears are not a symptom or a weakness, they're a reaction to life. As the person above says, we are all wired differently, and I tend to express my emotions (not only sadness but also anger, frustration, panic, even confusion)through tears. I am actually glad I cry so easily - I feel kind of trapped in my head if I imagine a life without crying! I was not offended by your original question but your response to the comment above (sorry I don't know how to tag names ha) is unhelpful. Not trying to start a fight here but pls don't lash out at strangers in a forum about being nice to strangers!
First, me "lasing out" is me returning the energy I received-I felt it was very rude for them to snap at me with "don't do that".
Second, I asked because I was curious as to how your therapist responded to you "crying a lot", which is why I asked in the first place. I've understood for quite some time that people cry and as long as they aren't trying to make it someone else's problem (which it never seemed like you were doing) it's a perfectly understandable response to what's happening to you. Crying after a break-up? Totally understandable. And you having a "meltdown" in public could've been you receiving really shitty news, so also understandable. I would rather people be honest about their emotions than cram them down and ignore them because that just creates a powder keg for later. You seem well collected even though you describe yourself as a crier, which is why I asked if you had spoken to a therapist, it makes sense.
Guess I could've explained that in my comments, but as I said, I return the energy I receive.
Hey it's cool, as I said I didn't mind your question(and tbf I myself said in my post that I should hold myself together better!) I was mainly responding above to when you replied "maybe YOU need a therapist" - bcos I feel like that kind of thing gets used to close down arguments and can come across a bit hostile. But I get that might not have been how you meant it, and sorry if I have "lashed out" myself! Prob just miscommunication/ internet making us all crazy 😊Enjoy ur weekend
This is honestly amazing. I love this for you. Wishing this for every woman. Sometimes we just need to know someone’s there. It definitely makes a whole lot of a difference.
These stories have really opened my mind, the last few years have been difficult for me health problems and anxiety has over taken me but my anxiety is around people I've come across so many mean people it's hard to go anywhere. But these comments had me in tears 😢 sure there are mean people but there are angels too an I never thought of it that way until now, thank you
I teach high school and something I have repeated to all the girls I have taught over the years is that if ever you are out in the world somewhere and find yourself in a difficult/dangerous/vulnerable position - find a woman and go to her. Ideally one that has a few years on her as she likely has fewer fucks to give about doing whatever is necessary to help, but if not, any woman. If you need someone to act as a fake mum to put off some creeper, or to straight up tell him to fuck off, or someone to get you safely to a taxi or your friends or home - find a woman. There’s a certain way that we have to operate in the world to keep ourselves safe and it is a shared experience. Because of that, over my five decades of life, I’ve found that there’s what feels like an innate protective instinct that women feel for other women in those moments. I’ve benefited from it and I hope I’m out there doing it too. Kia kaha wāhine toa x
The older woman who watched my hobo bags on a bus stop so I could use the restroom at the gas station. She then gave me a ride and prayed over me. "Oh sweetie, you're just going through a tough time," she said. She was right.
The middle-aged woman who stopped in wintertime to help me. "You're trying to carry too much," she exclaimed, and gifted me a monogrammed cloth laundry bag that was clearly intended for someone whose initials weren't my own.
The witchy woman who found me under a tree, brought me coffee, then eventually invited me in for a shower and gave me clean clothes, a book of shadows, and a weed slushie.
I love these women, and more.
I remember one time at work, a saw one of my co-workers crying. I walk over to her and asked what was wrong and just sat next to her and listened. Sometimes you don't need to say anything, you just have to be willing to listen and be a shoulder to cry on.
Late to see this, but last year I suddenly began bleeding from my breast and found a lump. A mammogram showed a number of abnormalities and I was referred for a test after test, being told each time the results were inconclusive and they wanted to do some other thing—I had 3 MRIs, multiple ultrasounds and mammograms, and all manner of folks poking, prodding and squishing poor Lefty.(Sidenote: having an MRI on your boobles is a hellish process. I’m firmly convinced zero women were involved in mapping out how to do it.)
This all dragged out over a period of five months and was causing my husband and I excruciating anxiety. Finally, after I had a meltdown after the gazillionth inconclusive result, an MRI-guided biopsy was ordered, but when I called to get it scheduled, I was told the next available appointment was 9 weeks out. I asked to be put on a waiting list to get any earlier appointment that became available and waited.
During this whole time, my husband was the only person who knew what was going on because I didn’t want to tell my sisters or friends and drag them through the waiting and anxiety until I knew what was going on. Anyway, month into waiting, I was at the airport on my way home from a work trip and received a call from the hospital that they had an opening the next week! I accepted it and immediately called my husband to tell him, and when I heard his voice, I just burst into tears and was sobbing as I told him. I hung up and the woman sitting next to me at the gate said she wasn’t eavesdropping but heard me say biopsy, she was a radiology nurse and asked if I was ok, and although I’m not usually talky with strangers, it all just came gushing out. She gave me a bottle of water from her bag and reached for my hand and rubbed my back as I told her the situation and she was just so calm and reassuring, I was immediately comforted. Once we landed, I saw her again and she gave me a huge hug and told me it was going to be ok. The unexpected kindness and care from a complete stranger was extraordinary. I think about her with gratitude every day.
My whole family and community ostracized me when I came out. About a year later, I had to buy a new car (which I had never done before), and I was absolutely breaking down about feeling alone, under-equipped, broke, and easy to take advantage of. A woman I was casually seeing at the time offered to have her husband come and help me with the purchase process.
I didn't take them up on the offer because I hate accepting help, but I will NEVER forget their kindness to someone who they owed very little.
Story from my childhood as told by my mother. Small town in Pennsylvania, 1988/9. Myself in preschool, my brother was maybe 3? Having just dropped me off for the day, she was stopping to get gas in her car. My brother was at the "helping mom" stage, so she let him mill around beside her at the pump. In a split second she glanced away, he managed to lift the nozzle out of the tank while it was still running. She grabbed it immediately, but not before it had splashed gasoline all over his little face and self. A random man who happened to see the whole scene play out rushed to my panicking mother and scooped up my brother. Our local hospital was just two miles away, so he got in the passenger seat, holding my screaming brother and told her to just go. He helped calm them both on the ride over and carried my brother into the emergency department while my mother parked. She ran to them and the nurses beginning triage on my brother. She said "thank you" as he walked back out of the door. We never saw him again, didn't even get his name. My brother recovered 100% and has no vision loss, the quick response likely saved his eyesight. (Also, please don't come after my mom. Little kids are wild and sometimes insane accidents happen.)
On my second Christmas as a widow, I was alone at a busy cafe on Christmas Eve and really filled with grief. The amazing lady who was my waitress looked me straight in the eyes and saw my pain. In the midst of the bustling restaurant filled with happy people, she stooped and gave me the tightest hug. I burst out crying. She said she knows Christmas isn’t a happy time for everyone, and that my pain will get better with time. She was a true angel, and really helped me in that moment.
I had to take my daughter out of state for a medical procedure. I mistakenly thought my mom would be supportive of whatever my daughter chose, so I confided in her. (Yes, I know it wasn't my place and I violated my daughter's privacy. She has forgiven me, thankfully)
When I tell you the vitriol that came from my Mom, hurling bible verses like hand grenades. Just text after text when I stopped answering her phone calls. It wasn't my choice to make and I supported my daughter. Period.
Thankfully, I held my shit together up until the last night and shielded my daughter the best I could. Daughter had finally fallen asleep, I was outside smoking a cigarette and I absolutely LOST IT. Slumped to the ground, bawling my eyes out, snot running down my face. It was the middle of the night and some sweet lady was just trying to get to her room, but she stopped and asked me if I was ok. And I completely unloaded on this poor lady. She sat on the ground with me and just listened. Patted my back and told me she was proud of me for listening and supporting my daughter. When I was all cried out she gave me the warmest hug. I thanked her and apologized about a half million times and she just smiled and said she was glad she could be there for me.
Thank you, Karri. From the bottom of my heart.
At age 20 I had to pick up what I thought was a shamefully embarrassing prescription for a shamefully embarrassing condition (now I realize I was just young and naive). I was trying to hold myself together while waiting for the prescription but was obviously crying a lot out of sheer shame and embarrassment. The pharmacy tech who filled my prescription slipped me a note with it that said “Everything is going to be okay.” It had a heart on it. That was over 20 years ago and I still remember her kindness.
I had just said goodbye to my Rottweiler mix and went to hike the trail we used to hike together in another town we used to live in about a week later. I turned the corner of the trail and a Rottweiler mix that looked JUST like him was bounding down the trail. I totally lost it when she got to me and was petting her when the owner walked up with tears in my eyes. I told her why I was so sad and she just looked at me and said, "Do you need a hug?" That was the best hug with a stranger I ever received.
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The airport employee who held a cold can of Coke to my neck and told me dirty jokes to try and make me laugh when I had a complete and total panic attack on the gangway and refused to get on the airplane. I don't know who you are, but I think about you often, and I hope that your life is amazing.
Amazing
What a nice soul. I too hope her life is amazing.
Angels among us
This is really cool. In the ancient Greek mythos of Persephone, there's a part in the story where her grieving mother is searching for her, and another goddess (Hekate) tells her dirty jokes to help her cheer up. Sounds like you met her in person :)
Oh, I love this! I'm going to go forward thinking that it was actually the incarnation of Hekate who soothed me. 
Aww. I love this. Did you end up flying that day?
I did! My meds kicked in right before they were about to remove me from the flight. 🥹
Oh good!!
Six months ago, I melted onto the floor of the courthouse. I had just picked up divorce papers from the clerk's office/counter. I managed to keep my emotions in check all the way up through the garage, through the walk down the long hallway and up to the family division section, and even as she handed me the papers. But as soon as I turned on my feet to start making the trek back to the parking garage, BAM, floodgates burst open. There was no seating around, and so I just leaned down against the wall and sat on the floor. I did the *wipe-your-snot-and-tears-using-your-sleeve* move to try and clean my face up. Suddenly, a random lady, dressed all in black, including dark sunglasses, sat down next to me. She took my hand in hers, squeezed it, and just sat there with me. After what felt like an eternity, she got up, and then hoisted me up by my shoulders. She cupped my chin in her hands, and tilted my head upwards. As she lifted her sunglasses, I saw tears in her eyes too. She gave me a pep talk, told me that I would not only survive this part, but that I would one day thrive again. She also told me to keep my head held high. She then sauntered off, down the long hallway, and out of the main entrance/exit of the courthouse. I just stared as she walked off. Six months later, I'm happy to report that I'm slooooooowly starting to claw my way back to a sense/state of thriving. I will NEVER forget her kindness, nor the image of her in my mind. I never even got her name. Just a total stranger. And THAT is the power of women uplifting other women.
I got goosebumps reading this! We as women really need to support each other on a daily basis instead of tearing each other down. We've come such a long way, but there is still work ahead of us. We must unite to fight for justice and respect. As the Carebears always say, "sharing is caring".❤☮☯️
Yesssss! Exactly. And I recently got to 'pay it forward', so to speak. About three months ago, I was invited to testify on behalf of a legislative bill regarding domestic violence, where I got to share my own story. About three weeks ago, a random lady, who I knew only tangentially, through one of those 'mutual friend knows a mutual friend' types of connections, reached out to me (privately) on another social media platform. It was late at night, almost 10pm. In her message, all she said was: *Can you talk? My number is.....* When a random woman you hardly know, and that is practically a stranger to you, writes that kind of message....... you take her call, no matter how late it is. At least that's my opinion. She said she found my testimony online, which had apparently been recorded and posted online, and said my story inspired her. She spent the next 2+ hours sobbing on the phone to me. She's also in an abusive marriage, and has been for years. She asked me for help and advice on how to get out. We now talk on an almost daily basis, and I check in on her regularly. It seems like she's actually doing the big, huge, courageous thing of extricating herself from the abuse, and I am SO proud of her! 🧡💜🩷🤎
She's so lucky to have you to talk to! Gosh, I wish I'd had someone to talk to when I was getting out of mine. You are courageous, kind, and compassionate. Talking about this, and listening to those who are currently living it, is so important. I think your new friend is super brave. It is so hard, and takes so much strength to begin doing all the things your abuser makes you believe you are incapable of. But you know that. I'm sending big energy to each of you. You are both badasses.
Thank you! 🧡 I wish I'd had someone to talk to also. The incident and 'final straw' that finally pushed me to file for the divorce was my soon-to-be-ex-husband getting physically violent with me. He had backed me into a corner of the kitchen, spewed utter hate and vitriol in my face, and I saw his hands erratically fly towards my face and neck. Later that day, while he was out of the house, I found myself unexpectedly calling a domestic violence hotline, only to have the door effectively slammed in my face, telling me I didn't qualify for help or support, on the basis that I earned too much money. Since I was born and raised abroad, and my parents also still live abroad, it was in this moment I realized I was going to be truly alone in escaping my marriage. I don't EVER want ANY other woman to have to suffer alone the way too many of us women already have. And I agree! She is super brave! And I'm so honored that I get to witness her journey. 🤎
I think that was Liz Taylor in Angel form!
Wait, do you mean actress Elizabeth Taylor, or the character Liz Taylor, played by Denis O'Hare on American Horror Story? I don't know much about Elizabeth, but I know Liz would fit that description!
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elizabeth_Taylor
Good god, this made me cry. I’ve needed this message. Thank you for being the woman in black for me.
I'm glad it helped you. Whatever you are going through, you will survive. You will find a way. We are women, the strength finds us, it always does. 🖤🤎
I’m crying reading this. Just a few months in the separation process of a divorce I didn’t want and a stay in a mental health facility. The shock is unbearable and the alienation from my adult children. There have been so many women over the past months… total strangers who have hugged me and treated me more kindly than the individuals I supported and gave everything to for 25 years. The positive is that it has increased my compassion for others.
I'm so, so sorry. I can completely understand. Even though I initiated the separation and divorce, I didn't want it either. I wished that things could have worked out. But, I knew that I couldn't stay in that environment forever. You CAN and WILL survive. One day, you WILL thrive again. It doesn't happen overnight, or next week, or even next month. Progress happens in tiny, tiny little steps, often so small we don't even realize or see the steps of progress ourselves. But, in six months? Or a year from now? You'll look back and realize just how far you've come. And we are women: even when we don't feel we have the strength, the strength somehow finds us, and one way or another, we do what we have to do to survive and make it through to the next day, the next week, the next month, the next year, and so on and so forth. One day, you WILL smile with your whole heart and soul again. 🧡
I am so glad that lady came by when she did. ❤️
Same. 💕
This has given me goosebumps up to my eyebrows. Such a powerful and graceful image - we all need this woman in black
Thank you. May we all be the woman in black for any woman who may need us, whether we know her personally or not.
I’m crying now. What a beautiful story
🧡🧡
Thank you for the kindness ❤️
Aww. The posh, icy lady gave you chocolate ❤️ Almost 20 years ago I was a teenager working at a pizza place going through a heart-aching break up. I was behind the register/counter when I started to cry for some reason. A lady enters the store, I turned my back towards her to wipe my eyes/get myself in check, and when I turned back around to greet her, she said “he didn’t deserve you, my dear”. Idk how she knew, but she knew haha. I smiled and said “thank you” and “sorry” (for crying) and she said “I’ve been there, I get it.” She was so reassuring and comforting. Two decades later and I don’t remember which ex-boyfriend I was crying over, but I do think about that lady’s kindness a lot.
Another random act of kindness on an airplane (that I witnessed, didn’t happen to me): a little boy (I’m guessing about 3 years old) was flying with his mom and at one point he got very, very upset. Mom was trying hard to soothe him but the poor guy was just so sad, getting louder and louder. The mom turned towards the other people on the flight and sheepishly was like “sorry…” Instead of getting upset, someone started singing If You’re Happy And You Know It. The boy paused his crying. The rest of the passengers joined in the singing. The little guy started clapping and happily bopping. Someone passed up some lollipops for him. He was so happy and Mom was so relieved and grateful. It made all of us passengers happy too, he was absolutely adorable.
My mom was kind to a young teen flying for the first time to meet her father, also for the first time. She was so nervous, and so dressed up, but she got air sick and started making use of the puke bags. My mom was trying to soothe her and build her up a bit by telling her how nice she looked. She started to fill the one puke bag, and I took it from her as another was subbed in. My mom later told me she was proud that I, a young college student, took the puke bag. I was all like... hello? I was sitting across from her, and if she filled that bad boy up or launched a really full bag at me during turbulence, all passengers would be puking. And the first "victim" would have been me. Sometimes kindness is really just logic. Most of the time, really.
Agree that it always pays to be kind and it always means the best outcome for everyone. (6 degrees of separation - it transmits your kindness on).
The very first time I got on a plane by myself was the first leg of my trip to start grad school on a different continent. It was a 16 seat puddle jumper, and my mom was waving me off at the gate (I am An Old). One of the 15 golf-shirted businessmen about to board the flight looked at my mom, and looked at me, and told Mom, "Don't worry, we'll take good care of her." 🥰🥰
Oh crap, I’m on the bus and that made me cry!
I (69f) was in the ED when I thought I was having a heart attack. I had already had an ekg and blood work, and they didn't think it was that. So I had to wait in the waiting room. While on reddit, I saw a young woman sobbing and praying. I asked her if she wanted company. Yes, I sat. I told her I needed a distraction from my fears about my heart. She told me her concerns. We comforted each other for about 2 hours. Mutual random acts.
To the woman who came upon me in a stairway minutes after I found out my father was dying and simply held me while I broke down, I hope she's having the best life possible. The way women support each other, especially strangers, especially in times of distress, truly gives me hope in humanity.
I was a 36 yo man standing in the hall of the hospital crying after finding out my dad died. Two ladies walked by and asked if I was okay. They said they would be walking back that way in a few minutes and would check on me again. And they did. That was almost 27 years ago.
OMG I am so thankful to the ladies who have offered me support in public. Especially when: I was having Thanksgiving dinner with my abusive parents in a fancy hotel in Hilton Head, SC around 1990 or so. I could not stop crying but my parents refused to let me leave, I went to the bathroom and this older lady said "I want you to know, you deserve better than that. I'm seated behind your family and I can't BELIEVE the way they're speaking to you, I don't care WHAT you did, you don't deserve to be talked to that way." Then she hugged me for a long moment. I will never forget that, and in her honor I have offered support to many crying people in public.
❤️
I was on an airplane in the window seat and right before takeoff (we were already on the runway) I started feeling ill… the kind of ill where you know you’re either going to puke or shit your pants. Horrifying. I’d been chatting with the women in my row prior - they were heading home after a missionary trip to Africa. I told them I needed to stop talking because I felt so poorly. I started to sweat profusely and tried to find a comfortable position to ride out the pain. The woman beside me asked if she could fan me, and I said yes. She used the airplane card in the seat back pocket to give me some air. Her friend asked if she could pray for me - yes, I said. Not usually my thing, but I was in no position to refuse any kind of help. After about 10 minutes my symptoms subsided, and I felt normal again. I’m not really religious but those women being with me when I felt lower than I’ve ever felt was the kind of love that people associate with god - unconditional, caring about me on a human level kind of love. These stories are amazing, keep being good to one another!
I had my four very young kids with me and in the span of about 15 minutes we had a total wipe out headed into the grocery store resulting in one child scraped up head to toe, and then another child puked in the parking lot on our way out. Each time there was a different 40 something woman ready with exactly what I needed, right there helping me clean up blood and vomit. A third woman even went into Starbucks to get some water - one to sip on and one to clean with. Complete with a washcloth. I couldn’t pick any of them out of a line up and I never got a name but I think about them often.
I regularly check on parents of little kids when I’m out. It’s part of my responsibility as someone with older kids. I’m sure some people think I’m crazy, but I had enough times where a random stranger stopped me from crying, I have to do it.
I'm crazy right with you then. I was never able to have children. We tried for 20 years and lost multiple pregnancies, including with our surrogate who was briefly carrying our twins. I still try hard for parents who are struggling. I've caught run away children, and soothed tantrums, and explained flying to terrified teenagers. No one knows I don't have 12 kids at home, so I just step in and act like I'm another mom. I think we owe each other as much kindness and grace as we can scrape together. Always.
I love you.
Right back atcha ❤️
I don’t think this is the first time I’ve mentioned this on Reddit but here goes. About 8 years ago I was working a very demanding internship, while taking Organic Chemistry and Biochemistry fast courses over the summer, my uncle was dying tragically, my middle child sister was in jail, my boyfriend has just left for a month long backpacking trip in Europe, my twin was out of state for the summer, and my estranged father had moved back in. Life. Was. HARD. I was attempting to email my eldest sister (from aforementioned internship email) and I typed her email wrong. I forgot the number at the end. This email was a RANT about life, money, school, work, family woes, etc. I received back the sweetest email from this random stranger that had the same unique spelling as my older sister. She took away the embarrassment of her getting the dirty details of my life and really made me feel less alone in the world. She provided words of wisdom and basically told me life is a tsunami sometimes but I would get through it. I sent her a follow up email a year or two ago thanking her again for the kindness she showed me years ago. I still think about her kindness regularly.
You’d get my props alone for taking summer organic, much more so with biochem on top! That’s a science student for you. 🤗 Having to deal with life on top of that must have been so stressful. It goes to show that school is a lot but it’s usually life that kicks your tail. I’m so glad that you survived and found unexpected support. I hope you’re living your best life,
I ended up taking Organic Fundamentals again that fall even though I passed summer Organic because I didn’t think I had a strong enough foundation for Metabolic Chemistry- I was right. Thank you!! I am doing my best. I hope you are great 😊
There’s no shame in retaking organic. It was my weakest area in undergrad and I’ve ended up teaching it a few times. It’s definitely better the second time around! When my doctors would ask me what I taught, and I said organic, most cringed. My neurologist said if all doctors had to have A’s in organic, we’d have even fewer doctors 😂 I am going great! Thank you 💕. Edit: punctuation and grammar
I took 2 days of it.. dropped it. Took the summer course. Scraped by with a C+… then took Fundamentals just to solidify my foundation. Got an A in Fundamentals. also worked out that the teacher for Fundamentals was one of the best I had. Organic is impossible 😂😂😂
This made me lol so much I was scrolling through all these emotional stories, then suddenly I learn there is no shame in retaking organic hhah. Thank you scientists i hope all has worked out for you xxxx Ps no idea what organic is
Years ago, I was like 24. I was out for a jog to try to clear my head about a fight I was having with my best friend. I almost got hit by a car (like it ZOOMED past me missing me by millimeters) through no fault of my own—I thought they were stopping at the crosswalk for me and they weren’t. I crossed the road, staring down every car around me. Then collapsed on the next corner sobbing. Lady, 50s maybe, in SUV pulls up “I saw what happened. Can I give you a ride home?” Me, thinking: don’t get in cars with strangers…: “uh no…..uh actually yes” she reminded me of my grandma and honestly it seemed like a moment to trust humanity. She drove me home (it was like 5 minutes, only because I gave her the wrong address at first) and she listened to me pour my heart out and reassured me it would be okay. I think about her a lot and hope all of her kindness has come back to her fiftyfold.
Sobbing my heart out in the park, couldn’t hold it together any longer. Was suicidally depressed and coming to terms with the fact I was going to have to get divorced. I was hysterical, and an older construction worker came and sat by me and rubbed my back (not in a creepy way) and asked if there was anyone he could call to come get me. Never forgotten him and this was over 10 years ago.
Aww this is so nice
❤️
Hugs, dear. Your appreciation is appreciated.
Amy. The case worker at the hospital my Gram was at, who heard my concerns about Gram's safety, hugged me while I cried, and helped me get her somewhere safe, and closer to me. Stephan, the infusion nurse who not only immediately eases my anxiety with her presence, but is an amazing nurse. I sobbed once after fighting the insurance and hearing they were delaying care again. She handed me tissues, rubbed my arm, and told me "I gotchu girl, these insurance companies make us cry too, I'll take care of them." And, she did. 🥺 The nurse midwife who calmed me down with gentle shoulder presses and breathing exercises when I had a complete melty melt after my IUD removal. It hurt like a SONOFABITCH, and I did NOT expect it.
That thing with the IUD is criminal or at least it should be. Why were you not expecting it? Bc your effing dr didn’t tell you it would hurt that bad because they don’t think it hurts that bad. It’s a thing and I hate it so much.
I'm certain mine had implanted a little. I don't think they knew it would hurt that bad. Read Mirena's prescribing information. It says people MAY experience SOME pain and doctors should consider analgesics. Mirena's manufacturer lies to doctors about how painful it is. They should be held responsible too. Class action lawsuit, anyone?
Given that the "father of gynecology" was a doctor who performed multiple surgeries without anesthesia on his female slaves, is there any wonder what we still have to go through to prove we feel pain?
Count me in!!! My whole body reflexively lifted of the table and I actually screamed out in pain. I knew it wasn’t going to feel good, but I didn’t expect it to feel like they were ripping my whole uterus out. The nurse that was in the room with me had major RBF and did not seem like the warm and fuzzy type. But man did my first impression of her change in the immediate aftermath of scraping me off the ceiling. She was so kind and let me squeeze her hand. Don’t know how I didn’t break every single finger bone. The worst thing is I was in such shock afterwards that when the doctor asked if I still wanted to have the new one inserted, I said yes. Why?!?!? I’ve got three years to go and at least once a month I think about how I’m going to have to endure that again when the time comes.
Holy shit this is so depressing. I’ve never had an IUD but I used it as a question when screening new gyns. Do you offer analgesics when you remove or implant and IUD? The one I chose said “I used one every time unless the patient specifically requests not to have it. It takes 30 seconds to administer.” Imagine - all these women have suffered for lack of an analgesic that takes 30 seconds to administer.
It should 100% be standard procedure. I will be doped up or knocked out when this one comes out, though. That, or it can stay there till my dying day!
Do you mind sharing that doctor's name, if you're comfortable?
I’m not without consulting her but I will see her in August and ask her if its okay.
Oh no! I'm sorry it was horrible for you too. Pain meds next time. Insist.
I’m going to fight like hell for some sort of anesthesia. Because, to me at least, it was *that bad.* This isn’t the first Reddit rant I’ve gone on about it. Like you, I think that mine was implanted a little. But probably it just sucks that much for everyone, although I certainly hope not. I’d throw a celebration party for anyone I knew who has it removed who *might* experience just *some* pain. Better some not go through agony if not all of us.
>Better some not go through agony if not all of us. Preach it!! 💖
Please don't endure that again!! Please, find a Dr who listens when you say your last removal was excruciating and you demand pain relief before remove. There *are* Drs who will listen to you. Even if they're unfortunately rare.
I had two IUDs in my life. The first one I've gotten by a gynecologist at a hospital in Zurich and she was loving, kind and distracted me while implanting that little thing of horror. It was painful but quite swift. And even though I had mild pain in the downer region after that all went well. To be honest, I never knew before that moment that getting an IUD laid would be painful at all. So I wasn't expecting it any maybe it was for the best. Some years later I needed to decide on if I wanted it to be removed for good or replaced and since I was still not ready for kids (and still don't know if ever, but thats another thing) I easily decided on a second one. I was all well, up until the point where I sat in the waiting room of my doctor. I was like "wait...wasn't the procedure kind of painful last time?". Well, I developed some anxiety issues along the way and I'm sure it didn't help. I got it done, but I remember saying to my gyn "If this feels even nearly like conceiving a child, I'll never get one". He laughed it off, which I remember was kind of rude at that time. One of the receptionists was kindly enough to hold my hand while the IUD was inserted, because it did hurt much more than I remembered and even feared. Not impossible to uphold but the kind of pain you don't want to have again (and here I'm sure I am again overdramatic because of the anxiety). I also bled more than I should have, maybe he did something wrong inserting it, I don't know and will never know. I never visited this gyn after. (also for other reasons) - Oh and I still don't know what was the painful phase: Removing the old one that probably got "stuck" in some way or inserting the new one. Anyway, some years after that, I think it was some months ago now, the IUD had do be removed and I decided against a new one. New Gyn aswell, also because we've moved. The doctor was patient and comforting and didn't even focus on a pain at all but "got on with it" and with one swift pull, the thing was out and done with. Felt like a very short, pinchy feeling in the uterus-section but nothing noticable. Some pain though came afterwards. Even after a week I felt 'something', but the most recent impact was on my psyche and I still don't know why. The moment I got to the reception and paid for the IUD I was kind of happy and proud to have beaten the anxiety and made it out without immense pain. I was a bit shaky and far too energised. So I paid, left the gyn and wanted to shop some groceries on the way home. I became shaky and depressed af in an instant. I remember walking between the ailes and thinking to myself "I did a mistake", "This feels wrong" and "I don't know what to do anymore, maybe my life ends here". It's not that you'll get or become pregnant the second after removing the IUD or something, but it was...I felt so devastated and was pale white back then. I cried for a bit and recovered afterwards, but I was so confused about my reaction to the procedure at all. Well, anyway, sorry for the long text, I guess I just wanted to tell someone, also telling that it really depends on the doctor, on how long you had your IUD and the expectations. The moment you get your IUD out, please try not to stress yourself. You will recover from this and chances are high that even if you had a bad experience it doesn't need to repeat itself. Feel yourself hugged when in doubt, you are not alone <3. (not my native tongue, sorry for any mistakes!)
Thanks for sharing this! It’s always good to know what other people experience so it’s not a shock if the same thing happens to me. I hope you’re feeling better now! ❤️
100% on board for a class action lawsuit. Lies lies and more lies from those bastards. My dtr is still struggling with pain and almost blacked out with her insertion. And we didn't even know anesthesia was an option for her nor myself.
Amy and Stephan ❤️I loved these, thank you for sharing. I wish I could see these peoples faces! ( From one ruby to another :))
IUD hell is a topic close to my heart (as it were!) I wanted to share something I learned today - maybe others already know about this, but my friend in the Netherlands just told me she has a new type of iud which was not designed by a medieval torturer - it's called [ballerine](https://iub-ballerine.com) and is made up of little copper beads - my v uninformed assessment is that it just LOOKS so much nicer! It is not available in UK as far as I know but I think is being rolled out in a few other countries. I can often be found ranting about how the IUD in its current shape has not been updated for more than 50 years. Imagine that kind of stasis in any other area of healthcare.
Many years ago when I was in college, before I knew I was allergic to alcohol, I had a few drinks at a party. It was not an unreasonable amount of alcohol by any means, but in the early hours of the morning the poisoning symptoms of the allergy had me so ill I needed an ambulance. I was polluted and sick like someone who has had massive quantities of alcohol. Before I got to this point of realization about how serious my condition was, I was slumped in the hallway with a garbage pail outside my dorm room so I didn’t disturb my friend and room mate with my vomiting. Two other young women came across me on their way to or from somewhere else. I couldn’t even muster the energy to feel shame at the state I surely must have been in, I was too sick. Not a minute later those two ladies came back with a bottle of water and a bottle of Gatorade, and gave them to me with some kind words I was too messed up to remember, but I remember they were soothing. I ended up needing medical intervention, but the kindness from those two young women when I was in such vulnerable and humiliating state has left a lasting impression on me after all these years.
This is so lovely. Cherish those moments. People are more kind than they are not but these moments aren’t often recorded. I hope you have many more, and more opportunities for you to pay it forward.
A sweet Indian grandmother knocked on my office door at work to ask where the elevator was. I was mid sob, and when she saw I was crying she sat down in my office until I was calm. She asked who made me cry and when I said no one she looked at me and said, very seriously, "I will find them. I will make THEM cry". This woman was all of 4'11 and I didn't doubt her for a second. When she left she gave me the warmest hug. When I came in the next morning there was a bag of fruits and Indian sweets on my door knob. I would die for that woman.
That is so sweet and also so adorable!
I would also die for her
excellent! yes, let's be there of other woman. I have stepped in while at stores 2x when Mom's were in the checkout line and their children were not staying by them. I offered to keep an eye on them while their Mom's could finish, within her view of course. Once I traded seats with a man who was complaining about the child behind kicking the seat and the overwhelmed Mom was trying to stop it. I didn't react when the little girl kicked the seat once I traded and she stopped after a couple times
It’s so good to share these generous, compassionate moments of care. I think it helps normalize “getting involved” which certainly is a thing in America that comes with sufficient risk or vulnerability that we think we should just leave people alone (which we shouldn’t)
i have an airplane story too! i was 12 and flying alone. they have an employee accompany you in the airport but on the flight you're all by yourself, and this was my first time flying. my legal guardian had just landed herself in prison, and I was flying halfway across the country to go stay with a relative I'd never met or even spoken to. I was pretty scared. And I definitely wasn't ready for the pressure in my ears! I'll never forget the kind smile from the girl who offered me gum. She couldn't have been older than 20 herself. But she took the time to notice the clearly stressed kid and try to help.
My parents split when I was really young, and I did a lot of flying as an unaccompanied minor. One year I was leaving after a summer with my dad's family and I was really devastated. I was sobbing alone on the plane as they seat kids first. This extremely kind flight attendant went back to the gate and found my gram. They brought her onto the plane to sit with me until they needed to close the doors. She held me and told me she loved me for probably 20 minutes. It's been 30 years and I still think of that kind flight attendant. I hope that life has been as kind to her as she was to a crying little girl.
I remember this woman who asked if I was ok in this public bathroom. My mom had unexpectedly died a couple of weeks earlier, and I just found out my job was abruptly terminated. When this unknown kind woman asked me that, I started crying. She just wrapped her arms around me. A real warm hug. Still makes me tear up thinking about the kindness of this woman.
To the female nurse who gave me the biggest hug in the emergency room, actually cried real tears for me and brought me a sandwich. I couldn’t leave my mom. She was rapidly declining and I was scared of losing her. She was like an angel that day. Also to a different female nurse who put her two cents in after the doctor left the room. The doctor was incredibly rude to me and made me cry. After he left the room the nurse said all I can say is keep fighting. You’ll get your diagnosis but you’ll have to be strong and ignore people like him until then. She said she’s been there and held my hand and gave me Kleenexes while I bawled.
❤️
The day my husband died, my mom took me and our 3 sons out to eat at Golden Corral. She kept telling me to hold it together. Stay strong and don't fall apart because the boys need me. But while filling my plate, it suddenly hit me like a steamroller. I shoved my plate to whoever it was standing behind the buffet and ran to the bathroom thinking I could fall apart in there and no one would know. Unfortunately, the bathroom was full of women. I wound up crying all over some poor lady who had the nerve to ask if I was okay. Lol A couple days later the same thing happened at a different restaurant. A nicer one because my mom picked. I again ran to the bathroom and a very nice lady let me cry my eyes out on her shoulder. Then later, when my mom asked for the check, the waiter told her it had already been paid. By the nice lady from the bathroom.
Oh friend, I’m so glad those women were there with hugs for you. I’m sending one myself. I hope you and your sweet sons are okay. 💕
Thank you. It's been 10 years now. Our boys are grown and doing splendidly. He would be so proud of them. Of us actually. I went out on a First Date with my son's best friend's dad tonight. Best first date ever.
I will smile about this news all night. Best of luck on your new life adventure!
i don't know how old your sons are, but in case they are not old enough to have processed what that loss was like for you and is like for you - my dad died very unexpectedly when i was 14 and my brother was 9. he was young, 39, no known health conditions, "known" being the keyword there. even being a teenager, i was too wrapped up in my own shit to spare much of a thought for what my mom was going through. the grief, the total upheaval of the life she knew...as an adult, it is truly staggering to reflect upon, and i feel such a sense of gratitude and, truly, pride for my mom. logically, i know she struggled, and i also know this from the stories she's told me decades later, but man, she hit the ground running and provided stability for us when her world was falling apart. so, if your sons are not yet at a point where they can tell you - thank you. thank you for getting up and getting through it - whatever that looks like on any given day.
Thank you. We actually got much closer after that. We circled the wagons I guess. We adopted a dog to help fill some of the void and she is still the center of the family. It's been 10 years now and the boys are grown and doing very well and we hug and say love you, every time we see each other. I keep thinking how proud he would be of them, of us.
My husband, kids, and I attended a pride parade early this summer - my very first one. I was raised in an extremely conservative religious family who were very anti-LGBTQ. I was ashamed of my sexuality as I grew up, and it’s only fairly recently that I’ve been open with anyone about the fact that I’m bi. Still a secret from my parents, though. At the parade, I was completely overwhelmed and cried for the first twenty minutes, and then was able to gather myself together. Until the Free Mom Hugs women got to our place on the sidelines. I made eye contact with one of the moms, tears streaming down my face, and she came over and gave me the hugest, tightest hug while I sobbed into her neck. I will never forget her.
This is the one that made the tears that were building up start pouring over. Besides my lesbian aunts, I don’t have any *close* friends/family who are part of the LGBTQ community. I’m 100% pro, though. I’m so happy you got that mom hug. I hope you have many more to come. xo
Thank you so much, friend. 💕
This is incredible
This is the kind of person I hope to be should I be in this situation. A small act of kindness can mean so much. And even if they are a jerk about your offer of kindness, just move on, at least you tried and maybe later on they will appreciate someone cared and they'll feel bad about how they responded.
The woman who held me as I sobbed while walking through a grocery store. This was just a few days after I had buried my 11 year old child. I was going stir crazy at home so I drove to the grocery store and started walking the aisles, desperate to do something normal, even for a few minutes. I was fine until I hit the section that held one of my daughter’s favorite foods. I started sobbing right there in the aisle. I quickly walked away, trying to control my tears and failed miserably. Finally I realize there was someone walking next to me, and as I glanced to my left, this woman gently took my hand and just walked a few steps with me. I stopped and she stopped and put her arms around me and we stood there in the grocery store, locked in an embrace as I cried on her shoulder. I told her, through my blubbering tears, that I had buried my daughter, and had no idea how I was going to survive. She just held me and let me cry. After a few minutes, I lifted my head and realized there were a few people standing around, just kind of watching. A couple of them were praying. Apparently they just saw someone in desperate need and did what they could. I suddenly felt embarrassed and quickly walked away, but told them all thank you as I left. I remember leaving my basket there and just rushing to get out of the store. When I got to my car, I quickly started it and went to a very empty part of the parking lot, parked, and cried some more. I don’t know who the lady was and honestly, I used to sometimes wonder if she ever existed. I was very grateful for her, whoever she was. She knew I needed somebody and she was there.
I'm so sorry. I've lost so many loved ones that by the time of my biggest hit, my 32 year old daughter died, I was an expert and crying with no one knowing. Just like you, the grocery store. Her favorite moon drop grapes. Keep on keeping on, mama. She's with you every step of the way.
Your story made me full on cry with how tragic and how beautiful that moment must have felt like for you. No words can make up for such a profound loss (and I don't know the right ones to say anyway) but I hope you doing alright🩷 sending hugs from afar 🫂
Gosh, as a mom to a 10 year old daughter - my ONLY baby - this just rips my heart out. I am SO sorry that you are experiencing this. I say "experiencing" because, let's be honest, that doesn't stop. Sending you so much love.
This is such a moving description of being helped just to survive a few moments, in a time that is unbearable. I am so sad for you and for your daughter - really, because all this works the other way around too. Reading all the posts here, I feel so priveleged to be given these tiny windows into the darkest corners of strangers' hearts. Strangers' pain, as well as their kindness, means something to us. I wish I could put all these stories into a book - they are so important! Sending you all the best - and I hope that those lovely people in the store will be similarly cared for, should they someday need it. Xxx
The random woman in Sausalito who noticed that I was on the verge of crying and sat and talked with me. She made me feel like an actual human in the middle of a very dehumanizing period of life. I hope she's doing well.
In ICU after emergency surgery to fix an intestinal fistula caused by a surgery two weeks prior. I had’nt washed my hair/had a shower for two weeks because of abdominal staples and I was gross. I was miserable - scared, hurting. This wonderful ICU nurse asked me what would make me comfortable and I said “Clean hair”. She got a basin, warm water, shampoo. She adjusted the bed and had the team pull me back on the bed so my head hung over the end, and she washed, rinsed and dried my hair. So unbelievably caring. I felt so cherished.
We were “pulling the plug” on my dad, and my family was trying to get me to hurry there. I ended up hitting a parked car (gently, no actual damage). I was ok to haul ass to someone so I could get a paper and pen to write my info down when two little older ladies walked out to that car I hit. I told them what happened and both gave me really good gramma hugs.
I was on a plane from NY to London the night of the 2016 US election. We know what happened there so when the plane touched down and everyone’s phones got a signal again I heard the news and just started sobbing. My other family members were celebrating so I felt very alone and walked off by myself to cry and some random older (70ish) woman from California saw me and came over and gave me a hug and we just both stood there and cried for a bit then she took my hand and said “Don’t give up the fight!”, squeezed my hand and left. It made me feel not so alone in that moment.
Had a lady hold my hand durning take off one time. I didn’t remember her until your post. Thanks. I hope she’s out there living her best life!
When I was 18 I moved about 10 hours away to attend university in Montreal. Maybe my second week there, I was walking home from a bar (alone, which was dumb) and was only about a block away from my building when I passed an extremely drunk man trying to get into his car, but he was too drunk to put the key in the door. He was yelling to himself but upon seeing me he started screaming at me and coming towards me. A couple happened to turn onto the block at that moment and they flanked me on either side while they continued walking, allowing me to fall in with them. They made sure I was okay and walked me the rest of the way to my dorm. I didn't end up staying at the school (for other reasons, not bc of this event) but I will always be grateful to them.
It was my first day back to work after my father’s death and funeral. My husband and I stopped at Subway for lunch. I must have been very spaced out and that was perceived as over interested. Anyway, the young woman behind the counter asked me if I was a Secret Shopper. I told her no that I was just really sad. She came to the other side of the counter to hug me. I will never forget it and I hope she is doing well in every part of her life.
❤️❤️❤️
OP, this me cry. So sweet.
My mother had died, unexpectedly. I had to fly home with my toddler, who didn’t understand and was being unruly in the terminal. I know I was short with him and raised my voice. She was an older person and very prim and proper. Someone I would assume was judging my parenting skills. She saw my frustration and the tears welling up from being so overwhelmed and she picked my son up and comforted him and chatted with him. I was eternally grateful for a few minutes to collect myself, so I didn’t loose it in the airport.
Thank you for posting this.
❤️
I was just about to say the same thing. This post has been a gift, thank you.
To the nurse who wiped my tears as I was getting a breast biopsy done…directly after I had been rude to her because I had been waiting so long 🩷 I apologized afterwards and she was so kind and understanding.
This is making me tear up. It's so lovely to see women support other women, especially ones who have been through the hell you are going through.
Reading this post and comments has made me tear up. So many wonderful stories of kindness in a world that frequently feels very unkind. Thank you all for sharing.
Other side. I was a 18m year old freshman in college and I was sitting in a lounge area at the library when a lady in her early 30s sat near me. She wore a jacket covered in military patches. I commented on it saying I thought it was cool and the next thing I know she is telling me her life story and eventually about her recent miscarriages and hysterectomy and relationship problems. It went on for what seemed to be a half hour but was probably only 15 minutes. I was a bit overwhelmed but I stuck with it and kept my comments as noncommittal and understanding as possible. She eventually wound down and looked at me in shock. I just smiled at her and said that she must have needed to get that out. She was a bit embarrassed but also looked so relieved. We chatted a bit more and she left. Still think about her on occasion when I am at my wits end and reminded that I should talk it out instead of stewing in my internal mess. Even if it means confiding in a stranger.
Thank you so much for being such a good listener — you really helped her by being there. And I love the insight that interaction gave you.
Yes...thank you so much for being so kind to that lady. You have no idea how much she appreciated that.
The dental hygienist who held my hand when I got a novacaine shot because I’d admitted to fainting during shots. I was 40. 😂
I was super down in my life and considering self-exiting. It must’ve shown on my face, because a few waitresses at the café I was at stopped by to talk with me about super simple things. It’s nice to know that people do notice, and it made me feel seen.
I'm glad you're still here.
Thank you! It’s so sweet of you, internet stranger! It’s gotten better however it can still be a battle but things are slightly easier!
I get it. I really felt compelled to tell you that though. I am getting teary eyed just thinking about how even though I don't know you, I am getting yo actually say that to you because you are STILL HERE. I'm sure your choice to not "self-exit" has positively impacted others.
When I was in the ER and believed to be dying, the two nurses who stayed with me, and later, the ICU nurse, were angels. I'd had massive pulmonary embolisms that were misdiagnosed. So my husband flew out of town for business. He returned a week later to find me on death's door. I would not have survived another 12 hours. The radiologist had already read my lung scan as a "cadaver" scan from an autopsy and multiple Drs told us this was it. My body just turned out to be stubborn. The 2 nurses brought me a tiny, wrist wrap stuffed leopard to hold onto during the painful tests. Then, while my husband called my parents to tell them I wasn't expected to survive the night, they sat and stroked my hair and cried when I wasn't looking. My breathing was slowing, winding down, and I lay there and stroked that leopard for *hours* while we waited for me to "crash" (their words). And Daria, the ICU nurse, was the epitome of the mom you want when you're sick. She had the softest, coolest hands. And was so lovely. So kind. Obviously the situation sucked. But I've remembered these women for 20 years and am still grateful for them comforting a 28 yr old, 2,000 miles from her family, who'd been told she wouldn't ever see morning again.
Oh my gosh, what a terrifying night that must have been for you! So glad you pulled through it.
Thank you so much! ❤️
I'm a crier, too. I tear up when everybody stops at the intersection to let a firetruck or ambulance pass by... every. single. time. It's embarassing for me and confusing for others because i have RBF naturally and then I'll start crying at the slightest trigger... When I was in sophomore in college and crying on the shuttle back to my dormroom, some girls saw, made me a handmade card and brought it to my dormroom. One time I bumped the back of this woman's car, she got out, gave me a hug, got back in the car and drove away. I've broken down crying at work and my female colleagues pep talk me and gave me hugs.
A few years ago, I was visiting my mom at the hospital when her doctors gave us the news that they were moving her to hospice care (this was a big shock to us, she was 49years old and last we’d heard was that she was doing well on chemo). After sorting things out with the hospital, I went to my car and proceeded to bawl my eyes out. This sweet old women had parked next to me on her way in to an appointment, held my hand and sat with me for 30 minutes. She missed her appointment, but didn’t want me to try driving when I was so upset. She also dug out every napkin in her car for me. I hope she’s doing well.
I had a baby 8 days ago, no epidural, traumatic vaginal delivery, we could've lost him but we got him back. Through it all I forgot about myself. Then it was time for me to go to the restroom for the first time. My nurse Jennifer was the absolute sweetest woman alive. I know it's her job, but she was so gentle with me. We got everything situated and I walked over to wash my hands, she gently brushed the hair outta my face and helped me back to bed. I felt very mothered and I really needed that. Women taking care of women is what I live for.
Not so random because I knew her a little bit - but when I was 19 I did a study abroad program with a bunch of kids in my major who were all 2-4 years older than me (i.e. I was the only “minor” in the group). I was drinking so much at that age and didn’t handle being in a country where I could drink legally very well. The night before the end of our program - so the night before I had an early flight back to the US - I got stupid drunk. So drunk I would have completely missed my flight if my housemate didn’t pack most of shit for me and wake me up in time to less-drunkenly get my shit together enough to get to the airport. I was a mess and went through the stages of wasted to hungover on my layovers back to Sea Tac airport from Glasgow. But I never would have made it if it wasn’t for Shelby Rae. Girl, you saved my ass and I think of you gratefully even 15 years later.
My boyfriend had broken up with me, a few months after I’d moved to Boston for him (half way across the country). Only he had a car, so I was on foot or public transpo. He had split to his mother’s, leaving me to handle all of the separation tasks on my own with zero support and no vehicle. My move back home involved shipping my belongings back. 1. I went to the local hardware store to see if I could rent a hand truck. It was a small local place, not a big box store with a rental department. I must have looked like I needed some help (hadn’t eaten or slept much in days), because they let me take it for free. It was a huge relief because I was strapped and having to spend to fly myself and my dog home, not to mention shipping costs. 2. The neighborhood I was in was super hilly, with uneven sidewalks and winding roads (Beacon Hill, IYKYK), so hauling hand truck-fulls of boxes was arduous. On one run, this older woman, thin, very fit, dressed in high-end athleisure, walked by me with friends and asked if I needed help. I declined and thanked her (embarrassed and didn’t want to be a burden). On my next run, which was partially bulky and awkward, she saw me again and just said “you look like you need help, I’m helping” in a strong Northeastern accent. She grabbed some things from me and then walked with me to the post office, even showing me a short cut that substantially reduced the total walking time. It was such a difficult, lonely, and emotional time…Having support from total strangers was fortifying.
I love your stories thank you for sharing them :) I once had a panic attack in the middle of a boxing exercise class at the gym, one of the ladies was a nurse and she came and sat with me on the other side of the room on the floor while I was shaking and crying and not breathing well. A couple of other ladies came to ask if I was okay too even though the class was still going, it was really sweet. Afterwards the instructor came up to me and said she was proud of me for making it to the class and explained her son had anxiety too, she was surprised I could drive and was asking for tips on how to teach her son to drive so I told her what I could. It was nice, but I was too embarrassed to go back to the class. 10 years later I'm considering joining the gym again, I've been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, Autism Spectrum Disorder along with others so I am learning tools to cope better in those environments now that I understand how my brain works a bit better. I still think of that time and I am so grateful for the ladies who helped.
I lost it at the bathroom sink of a diner after putting my cat to sleep. A woman came out of the next stall and just hugged me as I cried. She told me about her son who she'd lost the month prior, and how it gets better, whatever you're going through. I am forever grateful for her kindness and grace when I can't even imagine the pain she must have been in.
Just started to read through some of these replies and i love them so much thank you for sharing (watch out, I'll be crying soon 🙂) I love how others have also been keeping "lists" of these moments - and how most of these women prob have no idea how much their kindness helped us xx
I am the type of person to do this sort of thing. I think sharing kindness is one of the greatest things we can do as human beings. We need to help each other. Unfortunately is simply is not that simple. If I (a man) were to sit down beside a woman in an airport and hold her hand, there would be instant suspicion of my motives. I have, in the past, offered help to women who were clearly distressed. Nealy every time me approaching them, no matter how carefully or respectfully I have approached them, my presence did everything except to comfort them. I really hate this about contemporary culture. I understand everyone needs to be cautious, especially women who are alone. I just wish so much that if I saw someone having a break down I could give them a big hug and hold them.
Some women are put on guard, some are not, but offering should never stop being your go to. :)
I absolutely agree. Women in general are put on guard because people suck. They shouldn't have to be on guard. But your second point is outstandingly correct. Offering help should be our first impulse. Always.
I empathize. That sucks. One thing I noticed upthread was the story of the older construction worker who came to comfort the crying woman. He asked he if he could call anyone for her, to come help. That seemed like a good way to send the message that the comforter wasn’t trying to take advantage or insert himself in her situation in any kind of creepy way.
Yes he sounds such a sweetheart
You're absolutely right that offering physical comfort may not be the way to go, but here's my story about a kind man I still remember from around 20 years ago. I was in my early 30s, and in the airport, flying out to family. I realized after getting through security that my debit cars was gone from my purse. No idea if I'd lost it or it had been taken. This was in the days when owning and operating a cellphone was terribly expensive, and I didn't have one. I ran to the bank of payphones, attempting to call my husband so he could get the card cancelled, but they weren't working. I was beginning to panic when a guy about my age in a business suit came up to me and said he'd noticed I looked upset and was having trouble with the phones. He offered his cell to me, which was a pretty big deal at the time. I called my husband and was able to leave on my flight without worrying that we were going to have our bank account drained while I was in the air. It took only a few minutes of his day, and probably cost a couple of bucks. But what I never forgot was that he noticed my stress and offered to help.
I love this ❤️ And totally agree with you, noone should feel like they can't be kind to someone, I guess it's just a bit more straightforward for women to do this with each other?
I like your comment and I hear you - but the sad fact is that unknown men who hold women’s hands are often a real or perceived threat. And lots of men use vulnerability as an "in" - I have been hit on while crying more than once. It's like how some guys will make a beeline for the drunkest girl at the party. I do think it's absolutely possible for men to show empathy and kindness to women in public - I have experienced this too of course - and you sound like a thoughtful person. Just don't touch women in these situations, please! and don't"loom" or crowd - be very aware of your physical presence. And if she doesn't want comfort, drop it straight away. Persistence, however gentle and well meaning, will be felt as intrusive or worse. If you do these things already, just bear in mind that many ppl do not want to be comforted in public, and try not to take it personally (see the postscript on my original post!)wishing you well!
yeah helping others should be about them, not about what you want. maybe that's part of the problem
Isn't that the truth.
Thank you for continuing to offer support. I am cautious like nearly every other woman, but I honestly connect with men better sometimes because when I don't feel suspicious of their motives, I feel like if a guy offers to help or listen, it's genuine and (probably from my own life experiences) women sometimes have ulterior motives. Not all, of course. I've just not had great female friends.
To the old lady who tried to comfort me in the throws of full blown labor contractions I’m sorry I wasn’t nice lol. She was so sweet. Story: my (ex)husband was deployed, my mom was parking the car and getting my toddler son handled so my great uncle was pushing me in a wheel chair to L&D. My daughter was born about 40 minutes later so we’re talking I’m feeling like I’m dying contractions and I just wanted to be left alone and silence. Weird for me since I’m a social person and my sons labor I wanted all the conversations as distraction. This poor gently kind elderly woman patted my arm as I was breathing trying to keep it together in the elevator and said “you’re doing great hunny.” She was so sweet. I gritted my teeth and grunted my uncles name while breathing. She got the hint and never dropped her smile but man I feel like a jerk lol
You are obviously going through a hard time at the moment. When did you last take some time for yourself? It doesn't need to be anything extravagant or costly, I have found even ten minutes to just breathe and watch the sunset or rise, which helps enormously to recentre and calm my mind and emotions, can give me the internal strength to move forward. Please remember to take a little time for yourself to regroup, recentre, and focus. XOXO ❤️
Thank you ❤️I am fine - should prob have made clear on my post that these things have happened over the course of 10,12 years - most days I'm not crying 😊regardless, I like your advice and will try to do these things - they sound beneficial for everyone! Xx
Just be gentle with yourself and take time to take care. XOXO ❤️
When I was in an abusive relationship during the pandemic, I used to take long walks with my dog around our complex at dusk so I could cry without people seeing. An older (early 70s) woman from the neighborhood walked over with her dogs and started chatting with me. She invited me over to her house for dinner. As soon as I got to her place she asked me what kind of abuse I was going through. I immediately melted to the floor and started bawling. I thought I was doing a better job of hiding my pain but this woman I had never met saw me from a couple yards away and knew. We sat on the floor of her little apartment and she told me about her life and her experiences with abuse in her marriage. She told me that I had to get out now. I wiped my tears and she checked me before I left so that it didn't look like I had been crying. For the 3 weeks until I fled the state, she would walk by our place when she walked her dogs. I saw her more in 3 weeks than I had in 3 years. We would stop and let our dogs play a bit while I gave her updates about my plans. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to her before I left. She was an angel during the worst point in my life. Wherever you are, Di, you probably saved my life. Thank you for dinner 🩷
I’m so glad that Di was there for you in the darkness and helped light your way. You are so strong, and I hope you are thriving!
Thank you! 🤍 She is an amazing woman. Strong as a mf too haha
This is a sweet list 😁 that being said... Have you seen a therapist?
Don't do that. Some of us are just wired more emotionally than others.
Don't do what? Ask a question? I'm genuinely curious. I know people are wired differently hence me asking. How about you don't assume there's offense taken or meant. And let's be honest, some emotionally wired people DO need a therapist. Don't let the internet hype you up. If a question to someone else was enough to make you feel a severe way, maybe YOU need to see one.
I have a therapist lol. But not because I am always crying (I'm not - these things have happened to me over 10+ years, though that's beside the point). I think the volume of responses here shows that tears are not a symptom or a weakness, they're a reaction to life. As the person above says, we are all wired differently, and I tend to express my emotions (not only sadness but also anger, frustration, panic, even confusion)through tears. I am actually glad I cry so easily - I feel kind of trapped in my head if I imagine a life without crying! I was not offended by your original question but your response to the comment above (sorry I don't know how to tag names ha) is unhelpful. Not trying to start a fight here but pls don't lash out at strangers in a forum about being nice to strangers!
First, me "lasing out" is me returning the energy I received-I felt it was very rude for them to snap at me with "don't do that". Second, I asked because I was curious as to how your therapist responded to you "crying a lot", which is why I asked in the first place. I've understood for quite some time that people cry and as long as they aren't trying to make it someone else's problem (which it never seemed like you were doing) it's a perfectly understandable response to what's happening to you. Crying after a break-up? Totally understandable. And you having a "meltdown" in public could've been you receiving really shitty news, so also understandable. I would rather people be honest about their emotions than cram them down and ignore them because that just creates a powder keg for later. You seem well collected even though you describe yourself as a crier, which is why I asked if you had spoken to a therapist, it makes sense. Guess I could've explained that in my comments, but as I said, I return the energy I receive.
Hey it's cool, as I said I didn't mind your question(and tbf I myself said in my post that I should hold myself together better!) I was mainly responding above to when you replied "maybe YOU need a therapist" - bcos I feel like that kind of thing gets used to close down arguments and can come across a bit hostile. But I get that might not have been how you meant it, and sorry if I have "lashed out" myself! Prob just miscommunication/ internet making us all crazy 😊Enjoy ur weekend
Yep, I get that. The internet is ironically great for miscommunication 😆 Same to you!
This is honestly amazing. I love this for you. Wishing this for every woman. Sometimes we just need to know someone’s there. It definitely makes a whole lot of a difference.
These stories have really opened my mind, the last few years have been difficult for me health problems and anxiety has over taken me but my anxiety is around people I've come across so many mean people it's hard to go anywhere. But these comments had me in tears 😢 sure there are mean people but there are angels too an I never thought of it that way until now, thank you
6.30 am and im sobbing over this list!
I teach high school and something I have repeated to all the girls I have taught over the years is that if ever you are out in the world somewhere and find yourself in a difficult/dangerous/vulnerable position - find a woman and go to her. Ideally one that has a few years on her as she likely has fewer fucks to give about doing whatever is necessary to help, but if not, any woman. If you need someone to act as a fake mum to put off some creeper, or to straight up tell him to fuck off, or someone to get you safely to a taxi or your friends or home - find a woman. There’s a certain way that we have to operate in the world to keep ourselves safe and it is a shared experience. Because of that, over my five decades of life, I’ve found that there’s what feels like an innate protective instinct that women feel for other women in those moments. I’ve benefited from it and I hope I’m out there doing it too. Kia kaha wāhine toa x
The older woman who watched my hobo bags on a bus stop so I could use the restroom at the gas station. She then gave me a ride and prayed over me. "Oh sweetie, you're just going through a tough time," she said. She was right. The middle-aged woman who stopped in wintertime to help me. "You're trying to carry too much," she exclaimed, and gifted me a monogrammed cloth laundry bag that was clearly intended for someone whose initials weren't my own. The witchy woman who found me under a tree, brought me coffee, then eventually invited me in for a shower and gave me clean clothes, a book of shadows, and a weed slushie. I love these women, and more.
I remember one time at work, a saw one of my co-workers crying. I walk over to her and asked what was wrong and just sat next to her and listened. Sometimes you don't need to say anything, you just have to be willing to listen and be a shoulder to cry on.
Late to see this, but last year I suddenly began bleeding from my breast and found a lump. A mammogram showed a number of abnormalities and I was referred for a test after test, being told each time the results were inconclusive and they wanted to do some other thing—I had 3 MRIs, multiple ultrasounds and mammograms, and all manner of folks poking, prodding and squishing poor Lefty.(Sidenote: having an MRI on your boobles is a hellish process. I’m firmly convinced zero women were involved in mapping out how to do it.) This all dragged out over a period of five months and was causing my husband and I excruciating anxiety. Finally, after I had a meltdown after the gazillionth inconclusive result, an MRI-guided biopsy was ordered, but when I called to get it scheduled, I was told the next available appointment was 9 weeks out. I asked to be put on a waiting list to get any earlier appointment that became available and waited. During this whole time, my husband was the only person who knew what was going on because I didn’t want to tell my sisters or friends and drag them through the waiting and anxiety until I knew what was going on. Anyway, month into waiting, I was at the airport on my way home from a work trip and received a call from the hospital that they had an opening the next week! I accepted it and immediately called my husband to tell him, and when I heard his voice, I just burst into tears and was sobbing as I told him. I hung up and the woman sitting next to me at the gate said she wasn’t eavesdropping but heard me say biopsy, she was a radiology nurse and asked if I was ok, and although I’m not usually talky with strangers, it all just came gushing out. She gave me a bottle of water from her bag and reached for my hand and rubbed my back as I told her the situation and she was just so calm and reassuring, I was immediately comforted. Once we landed, I saw her again and she gave me a huge hug and told me it was going to be ok. The unexpected kindness and care from a complete stranger was extraordinary. I think about her with gratitude every day.
To the woman in the hospital who helped after I broke my back. I wouldn’t be here without you. You have no idea the impact you made on me. Thank you.
My whole family and community ostracized me when I came out. About a year later, I had to buy a new car (which I had never done before), and I was absolutely breaking down about feeling alone, under-equipped, broke, and easy to take advantage of. A woman I was casually seeing at the time offered to have her husband come and help me with the purchase process. I didn't take them up on the offer because I hate accepting help, but I will NEVER forget their kindness to someone who they owed very little.
Story from my childhood as told by my mother. Small town in Pennsylvania, 1988/9. Myself in preschool, my brother was maybe 3? Having just dropped me off for the day, she was stopping to get gas in her car. My brother was at the "helping mom" stage, so she let him mill around beside her at the pump. In a split second she glanced away, he managed to lift the nozzle out of the tank while it was still running. She grabbed it immediately, but not before it had splashed gasoline all over his little face and self. A random man who happened to see the whole scene play out rushed to my panicking mother and scooped up my brother. Our local hospital was just two miles away, so he got in the passenger seat, holding my screaming brother and told her to just go. He helped calm them both on the ride over and carried my brother into the emergency department while my mother parked. She ran to them and the nurses beginning triage on my brother. She said "thank you" as he walked back out of the door. We never saw him again, didn't even get his name. My brother recovered 100% and has no vision loss, the quick response likely saved his eyesight. (Also, please don't come after my mom. Little kids are wild and sometimes insane accidents happen.)
On my second Christmas as a widow, I was alone at a busy cafe on Christmas Eve and really filled with grief. The amazing lady who was my waitress looked me straight in the eyes and saw my pain. In the midst of the bustling restaurant filled with happy people, she stooped and gave me the tightest hug. I burst out crying. She said she knows Christmas isn’t a happy time for everyone, and that my pain will get better with time. She was a true angel, and really helped me in that moment.
I had to take my daughter out of state for a medical procedure. I mistakenly thought my mom would be supportive of whatever my daughter chose, so I confided in her. (Yes, I know it wasn't my place and I violated my daughter's privacy. She has forgiven me, thankfully) When I tell you the vitriol that came from my Mom, hurling bible verses like hand grenades. Just text after text when I stopped answering her phone calls. It wasn't my choice to make and I supported my daughter. Period. Thankfully, I held my shit together up until the last night and shielded my daughter the best I could. Daughter had finally fallen asleep, I was outside smoking a cigarette and I absolutely LOST IT. Slumped to the ground, bawling my eyes out, snot running down my face. It was the middle of the night and some sweet lady was just trying to get to her room, but she stopped and asked me if I was ok. And I completely unloaded on this poor lady. She sat on the ground with me and just listened. Patted my back and told me she was proud of me for listening and supporting my daughter. When I was all cried out she gave me the warmest hug. I thanked her and apologized about a half million times and she just smiled and said she was glad she could be there for me. Thank you, Karri. From the bottom of my heart.
At age 20 I had to pick up what I thought was a shamefully embarrassing prescription for a shamefully embarrassing condition (now I realize I was just young and naive). I was trying to hold myself together while waiting for the prescription but was obviously crying a lot out of sheer shame and embarrassment. The pharmacy tech who filled my prescription slipped me a note with it that said “Everything is going to be okay.” It had a heart on it. That was over 20 years ago and I still remember her kindness.
Omg I love this one
I had just said goodbye to my Rottweiler mix and went to hike the trail we used to hike together in another town we used to live in about a week later. I turned the corner of the trail and a Rottweiler mix that looked JUST like him was bounding down the trail. I totally lost it when she got to me and was petting her when the owner walked up with tears in my eyes. I told her why I was so sad and she just looked at me and said, "Do you need a hug?" That was the best hug with a stranger I ever received.
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