Dwight from The Office is the kind of person who’d keep sex tapes like this and then give this sort of excuse. *”It’s just memorabilia of when I was virile, I see no problem here”*
On second thoughts of course he can.
He'd probably keep his sex tapes because he'd think they deserved to ne in a museum for future generations to see.
“We Schrutes are an incredibly hardy and virile family. We mate twice a year. First in the spring, then, in the fall, at the Pennsboro Pumpkin Festival. I myself was conceived in a pumpkin patch.”
"To the dulcet tones of my parents beet juicer liquidating that years harvest. I still have my conception jar, which contains the beet juice harvested during my conception. "
Jim: "ew Dwight, you kept that?"
Dwight: scoffing- "of course, Jim. Like I'd throw out good juice...."
"It is a Schrute family tradition that upon marriage, the parents leave wild oats on your doorstep for you to sow. You can do whatever you want with them as they are your oats. Hence the term, sowing wild oats."
I would be horrified if my spouse kept old sex tapes with another partner.
There was a post recently from a woman who found videos on her husband’s computer, and I think she could tell he had recently viewed them. I wonder what ever happened with that.
I feel like there are so many questions/ situations to consider before getting in a relationship. Like I have to literally ask someone if they’re going to keep old videos of them being intimate with their exes?
it's honestly why i've given up on dating. relationships require work and compromise, yeah, but you both need to have a framework thats compatible from the get-go. i feel like the dating pool is just FILLED to the brim with these weirdos who do things like OP's partner and think its totally okay and normal, and they try to make YOU crazy for thinking its horrifying.
Yup...after my last relationship inexplicably ended, and I still don't have a straight answer as to why, I checked out of it. And to think I went on a lot of dates with women to finally think I found someone, just for that person to give me conflicting reasons why she dumped me. We were in our 40s.
honestly i just began focusing on making friends as opposed to romantic relationships.
in my unpopular opinion dude, the dating scene is just bogus. all of it. going out to dinner with a stranger, putting up this image so they accept you, the countless amount of money that you could end up spending just for them to ghost you. all of it is wack.
it's way easier and way more organic to find a partner in someone you're already friends with. getting into clubs, doing activities where there are people, these things are way more organic than dressing as nice as possible for someone you don't even know.
i've had way more success "dating" by only really meeting people to make friends and picking the ones that fit the best with me and shooting my shot.
im sorry that happened to you buddy. the fact that she can't even give you a straight answer says more about her than it does about you. you may find someone else, you may not, but just know that you're enough just when its you too.
Same boat. Just enjoying my friends, hobbies and traveling. Also enjoying meeting new people.
2nd paragraph is spot on. Though, the one thing I've always done is just be me. I know exactly what you mean about the facade people put on, and you're absolutely right, but I'd rather have you like me for me...not some cutout version of me you won't get for pretty much the entirety of the relationship.
I agree with the last 2 paragraphs too. My dating app days are over. Meeting organically or simply building a friendship is more important to me now.
Good luck to you
This is a good way to think imo. I’ve had a few serious relationships in my time and tbh every one of the ones that actually lasted and made an impression on me were ones I wasn’t looking for, they just kind of happened. The ones where I sook out a person didn’t last and weren’t worth the effort tbh.
My current husband and I started as friends, that met through a mutual friend, playing our favourite video game at the time. We didn’t talk after our first meeting for like a month and then the second time we talked things just kind of unexpectedly clicked and blossomed from there without either of us putting in much effort. It really is the best way to do it.
It’s like that old saying; if you’re looking for it, you’ll never find it, or whatever 😂 also feel like it’s a lot less pressure bc when you go on a “first date” you really wanna make a good impression and I feel like it makes you nervous and act unnatural sometimes lol. It’s like a job interview but for sex.
My wife and I met on Tinder. Each other’s first ever Tinder date. Now six years later I DM a 5e campaign where she’s a Rune Knight. Anything is possible!
My mom met her current husband on Plenty Of Fish.
…after she divorced my dad when she caught him using Match.com to cheat on her.
I met my husband on okCupid.
I feel like I should have a pithy or profound thing to end with but 🤷🏼♀️.
I think the real thing is I would be horrified if my ex kept old tapes after they got a new partner let alone married. I mean, that's why I don't have any tapes out there in the first place but still
When I was young and dumb, I had an ex-boyfriend like this. He had a collection of sexual photos and videos of past partners on his computer and could not understand why this bothered me. He gaslit me into thinking I was just being jealous and insecure for disliking this. We broke up within a year, and I am so thankful I dodged that bullet. Dude was a walking, talking red flag in more ways than just this one.
OP, if your wife is unwilling to delete these, I think you have to consider that she may not be as great of a partner as you think and bounce.
Some people are arguing whether she “can” or “can’t” do this.
Obviously, she can do whatever she wants. That’s only one part of the equation though. The other part is the consequences. Regardless of what she “wants,” her husband is clearly hurt by her insistence keeping mementos of sex with another person. In a relationship, that matters.
It’s more about what she “should” do for her relationship. What does she value more? Memories of fucking some guy, or her husband knowing she’s satisfied with him?
“What does she value more? Memories of fucking some guy, or her husband knowing she’s satisfied with him?”
This is the crux of it.
EDIT: because people keep commenting below this about his insecurities.
“Insecurity” is a cudgel Redditors use to attempt to invalidate someone’s position and shift the perceived nature of the problem.
I can just as easily say that her need to keep the videos as momentous of how she looked in her younger & wilder days, even at risk to her marriage, is a direct result of her insecurity with her looks and aging. **And i’d be right.**
So now we’re weighing one persons insecurity against the others **and the needs of the relationship.**
So both have insecurities that are helping shape their position and we’re back to what I believe the issue here really is.
This is really about respect for her spouse and the relationship.
The word "insecurity" is actually commonly used to gaslight people into allowing reasonable boundaries to get stomped. It happens all the time on Reddit.
"AITA for not wanting my wife to go on a week long trip to Miami with another guy?"
"WOAH insecure much? Do you even trust your wife???"
Agreed. I'm all for calling out shitty/controlling men. They exist in HUGE numbers. But Reddit has this idea that absolutely nothing changes when you enter a relationship, and it's such an immature way of looking at how two adults should care and look out for each other.
Nailed it.
Reddit loves “insecure” as a buzzword and many people either have no idea what it means, or simply choose to ignore what it means.
75% of the time on here, “they’re being insecure” just means “I want to do what I want no matter how insulting/demeaning it is without consequences and they’re getting in the way.”
Everyone has some level of insecurity. It’s not unreasonable to expect your partner to make you feel secure to a certain degree.
IE I have long-time female friend I sometimes go hang out with or get lunch with etc. No big deal.
But I wouldn’t go make friends with some random woman and start spending a lot of time with them. It would make my wife uncomfortable.
People like to pretending he is saying he's gonna chain her to a radiator and force her to delete the videos. Guess what you cn even cheat in a marriage, its just not gonna last very long if your partner finds out.
Yes, getting rid of them is 100% what she should do for her relationship.
She should also be getting rid of them for the sake of the ex. I feel like those are basic respect rules: you break up, pics and vids that are NSFW get deleted. It’s gross to hold onto those.
People literally don't understand relationship cost of actions and want the progression to be "I can do what I want and how you feel about it is your problem and I'm the victim here" 🤷
Imo the only thing she did wrong was tell anyone about this. She should have just kept it to herself and took it to her grave. I don't care I'll take my downvotes
Really he should offer to make their own together and tell her she’s hotter than ever.
If that doesn’t work and she insists on keeping them then the ball is in his court as to whether that’s a dealbreaker or not.
Well, this doesn’t address her stated issue with deleting them. She’s apparently holding onto them as mementos of her youth, not because she just likes to have sex tapes handy. This newer video could have some value later on, but not as much as the older ones in this regard.
It's not his job to convince or bargain to get her to delete sex videos of her and her ex, it should be enough for him to say that this really hurts him.
I mean not wanting to make videos in her older body with what she was saying does track tho. She prob wouldn’t want to see herself like that anymore. It’s not for sure it’s about him based on just that knowledge.
I’d be the opposite. In my 20s, I’d be upset. In my 50s through 80s, I’d want to see it. In our later years when perhaps a marriage becomes stale, people get less attractive, and most are ready to kick the bucket, some folks become more accepting of things done in their past. In people’s 20s when marriages are fresh, there are more insecurities from things in the past.
I can see how it would be hard for her to delete them, but I can see even more how hard it would be on the husband to think his wife still watches them and is soooooo upset about the idea of deleting them. At the end of the day, she should respect her husband's feelings on this and delete them. Pretty big wedge she's driving into their marriage if she doesn't, and are old sex tapes really more important than her marriage? If so, then I guess he's lucky to find out now.
I agree with this. I've found that people are actually more divided on this than many would like to believe, and people who absolutely must cleanse the past find it almost unfathomable and therefore conclude the worst.
Some people also use the past as a sort of roadmap. It's not always the thing they're keeping that they want a reminder of - it's something about themselves, their lives, or some other thing that was ongoing at the time. Absolute destruction of the past is a hard pill to swallow, especially when future relationships can go south. I think stuff like that is worth a conversation. It can even expose underlying drivers.
I have a friend who handled this with her husband - they both locked past items away in boxes. Neither wanted to ask the other one to just straight up destroy everything. I think that was a good compromise, but every couple is different of course.
When I was 15 I deleted my MySpace profile because my ex dumped me and I was absolutely beside myself. I regret doing that so much. There were so many photos of me without him that are lost forever, and even the ones with him I wouldn’t mind having one or two for the same reason you stated here.
But also, none of those photos were sexual, so idk, it’s also not really the same.
Level headed comment. I can see how deleting something forever, regardless of what it is, can feel like a lost to some people - I know I would be one of those people. However, I see that in this situation, something like this can be let go because it would mean that your partner would not have any anxiety about this forever. That's just not something you want as a baseline emotion in any relationship.
Yeah, I'd be pretty pissed if an ex kept sex tapes of me. And supremely weirded out if they ferociously defended keeping them despite their new spouse being hurt by it. What the fuck is wrong with this woman?
Back then youd have like one painting of your gf maybe one grainy ass picture of he non smiling face, now unlimited 4K pussy/ass/boobies/dick shots, man isn’t strong enough to wield this type of power
In the post Op says his wife told him her and the guy tearin that shit up agreed that they would both keep all their videos for the rest of their lives.
🥶
Also? Knowing it’s yours means you *know* know that everyone consented 100% (assuming you’re not a shitheel). No one was coerced or drugged or underage or all sorts of other issues with the porn industry.
That's the thing that gets me with this. On the one hand she really should respect her husband's feelings on the matter and delete them. On the other hand I'm willing to bet the dude watches porn so what's worse, getting off to a video of a woman who may not have had any actual consent given or getting off to a video you know for sure is completely consensual but has an ex partner in it.
Right, unfortunately because it’s with an ex (even an ex fwb) there’s still a chance to have strings. With porn it’s random strangers whom you had no connection with. I think that’s the issue.
Although I do agree about the consent thing, that’s not the only argument in play here.
Your comment just goes to show the double standards on redit. When the roles are reversed and it's the man keeping the NSFW videos/pics people destroy him, how is this different.
Unpopular opinion here. I'm male, mid 30s, bi. I've had partners in the past have sex videos saved from past relationships/flings. I adore the women that have come into my life and I've always supported the inner goddess they all carry. I understand that these past relationships are in the past and when I'm with a partner, I know she's choosing to be with me because she wants to be with me. Watching old videos doesn't really concern me. Just cuz us guys watch porn or geek out on attractive women in the world, doesn't mean we don't love our want to be with our partners. Same goes for everyone else out there. Just because a partner keeps a video and watches it from time to time, does not mean she does not want to be in the relationship with me. If she did yearn for someone else or wish she had something different then that's on her for sticking around with me and I would say she's doing a disservice to herself by staying in something she doesn't want. I get excited to hear what my partner's escapades have entailed because I love my partner and I love what excites her. Sometimes I'll watch them with her if she feels like sharing. They can be great moments if learning more about your partner. What did she like about those experiences and why did she choose to leave them? Curiosity helps bring a relationship closer and helps you get to know the one you love better. And the fact that a partner can talk about these things and either a) get excited about the topics or b) talk about what insecurities it brings up, I think can be very sexy. At the end of the day, she's not with that person in the video anymore, right? So what threat does it really have? If you find yourself feeling inadequate over the situation, then maybe look into how you can worship your goddess that's chosen you and rock her world. Trust me, if you put her pleasure first and truly get connected with her body and mind, you can have fireworks every time you make love. And why would anyone leave a partner that truly gets them, loves them for who they are and knows how to love them? In and out of the bedroom. The porn industry has fucked all of our heads up on what is truly good quality sex. Lots of ownership and focus on male pleasure. Sex sucks when it's just about his pleasure. But when you make it all about her pleasure, that's when the inner sexual goddess feels safe to come out and play and then, do us males find ourselves in a fulfilling, hot, extremely sexy relationship 😉
Honestly the best reply in this entire thread. I'm shocked how many insecure comments I'm reading. It's a fucking video folks, it's not like she's going out and sleeping with other people. Get over it.
Is she jerking it to her own old sex tapes? Lmfao. I get why the husband is upset by this but feel like the more upsetting thing is that his wife fantasizes about *herself*
I agree, remembering when she was younger and beautiful. I'd keep the vids for confidence boost if they were good shots. Like, look at my young and sexy self.... but I have no confidence so I can use all the boost I can get.
I really do think this is a big part of it. Because I have kept a five year old sex video with someone I hate and would rather not think about. But it’s the best I ever looked to myself in any video or photo ,esp naked. So sometimes I watch it to boost my confidence for sure.
… don’t we all? That’s like the whole point of porn. You watch people doing it and you imagine it was you. She’s just using a video where it is her. Barely any difference
I mean, she was honest about it. Like i personally would not care because it is not like she is sitting there on a Friday night with popcorn. If it makes her happy to have it sure. I am comfortable and confident enough not to be worried about it. Offer to be in the sequel. Have fun with it. Who cares your wife had a history. Give it 15-20 years and watch it with her.
I think you both have the right to feel the way you do. Those videos are her personal property and probably the last image she has of herself in a younger sexual experience, exhibiting her beauty and freedom in a certain way. It’s understandable why she might want to keep that. It’s also completely valid that this might make you feel uncomfortable, and nothing should stop you from making those feelings heard. The hard answer that no one wants to hear is that your wife had a sexual life before you, and you probably did before her. There’s nothing wrong with both of you having a fond recollection of those times, albeit privately and respectfully. Anyone who denies that reality is just fooling themselves. Anyways, I suggest you make your feelings known and try to understand hers as well. Draw the line where it needs to be drawn, and hopefully y’all can come to a reasonable understanding of eachothers feelings.
ok seemingly unpopular opinion— its no different than you watching porn? Plenty of couples can healthily dip into porn every now and again. No biggie there. Its an old memory that she certainly shouldn’t have to get rid of. Dont be weird about it
My friend told me he keeps the nudes from every girl he dates even after they breakup and apparently that a usual thing for dudes, these guys all had “spank banks” of nudes of of their exes, I was the only one who thought that was fucking weird. People are weird man
This is not normal. Your friend sounds like a creep, and I’d bet a lot of his exes would not be OK if they knew he still had this content.
I ask exes to delete this stuff once we are no longer together, and I’d like to think they have respectfully obliged. I’m the one featured in the content, and I don’t want it being looked at by anyone I’m not in a loving, trusting relationship with.
I don't see the problem with keeping the tapes. Then again, I'm ENM. Seven years ago and with a FWB, not even a committed monogamous partner. Sounds like this guy has some serious insecurities.
This is funny, because in the gay world, no one would think twice about that. Of course you’re going to keep any sex videos with other people… big whoop. Those go into the permanent spank bank LOL
Lol my thoughts exactly, being straight seems exhausting sometimes.
My partner and I both have old sexy stuff on our phones. I’m sure some of my exes have stuff on their phone. As long as everyone is keeping it to themself I couldn’t care less
I’m straight and had an ex who kept his old videos. It didn't bother me one bit, I never even thought about caring. Now we're broken up and he has mine and I still don't care since I know he won't do anything negative with them.
In the swinger world too. My husband and I both have plenty of videos with other people from before and after we got married. I like to watch his and mine too. He only kept really good ones like banging two college girls. That was hot.
I mean is she watching them consistently or just keeping them? If she was watching then I would understand being upset but it’s a video of her she doesn’t have to delete it if she doesn’t want to. She’s allowed to keep mementos of her life.
I got nudey pics from my early 20s that I'll prolly hold onto forever. I'm never gonna see my tits that high and perky again. I kinda get it. I also get why he's upset but I think I'd fight him on it too. Something about immortalizing your youth.
Edit: realized I didn't clarify, if my partner was upset about my nudey photos, I'd fight him on it. Not videos. Videos are... a bit much.
Do you have someone else nude with you in these nude-y photos? If not, I think that's not the same thing.
Even with video, if he were pissed because she has a video of her younger self masturbating, I don't think he would have a leg to stand on.
There's something wrong with keeping a deeply sexual memento of a former lover when you're in a committed relationship IMO. If she wants to say its not about the guy, then she can say that. The guy is there. Every time she is remembering how "dumb and carefree" she was, she's seeing herself with that guy.
Right?! When I’m ancient and in a nursing home, you better believe I’m going to be pulling the taffy watching those old vids of me in my prime gettin it!
Seeing stuff like this scares me- Ive been in a happy relationship for almost 3 years, and whenever I see stuff like this that comes up multiple years into the relationship, Im terrified. Like I cant imagine my girlfriend doing this, but im sure OP would have said the same thing.
Leave, man.
Not only is it 100% not normal for her to keep those, but her failure to respect your boundaries is abhorrent for a long term partner. Also, being SO adamant to keep them is raising some alarms, like she could have an obsession with guy, who knows?
(also- we dont know how the guy in the videos feels about it- i believe there are now revenge porn laws that mandate deleting intimate photos/videos of past partners once the relationship ends, but i could be wrong or it could be regional. Perhaps theres a method for people to request it, idk- i just feel like the video guy’s opinion wasnt taken into consideration by her at all here)
Reading this thread is really a reminder that people that are active on Reddit aren’t representative of average people. No sane person I know IRL would consider it reasonable to keep sex tapes with an ex. Even worse than keeping the videos, she is making a big argument with her current husband about keeping them.
While keeping the videos prior to them discussing the issue is inconsiderate/disrespectful, the wife taking the stance of ‘I will not delete these videos, regardless of how much it damages my current partner and relationship’ is asinine. If you think this is reasonable or acceptable behavior in real life relationships you are either socially stunted or chronically online.
Oh, totally, coming here for anything but entertainment is a mistake. I see opinions stated as fact non stop on Reddit that I’ve never remotely encountered in real life from men or women.
The comments calling the guy insecure for this are so wild to me, comments on these posts really are from a completely alien segment of society to me lol
I want to think they're not married. Out of courtesy I try not to talk about my ex at all, I would never mention intimate stuff about the past and expect my wife to do the same since it's just disrespectful. My mistake on reddit was thinking this was common sense
Great post. I love Reddit because people have such weird views. I don’t know one person in my real life that would agree that keeping these videoed is ok.
1000%.
Also, in real life, people would be aghast at someone keeping porn of someone they are no longer with. Unlikely that the ex consents to her keeping porn of him around forever.
It is wildly inappropriate to keep sex tapes and photos around of exs after you are no longer with them.
Uhm. It’s a relationship, so whether it’s okay is really up to the two of you. If it’s something you’ll never be okay with and she’ll always be okay with, then maybe the problem is just two incompatible people.
I deleted the pictures I had of my ex wife when I got remarried. My current wife didn’t even know I had them or ask that I got rid of them. I just respect her too much as a person to even consider keeping pictures of an ex to look at when I’m married to her.
The remedy is this, put the videos on in the background as you fuck her brains out and slut her out. Do this a couple times and those vids go away. You will prob enjoy more than her which will make her not want them
Relationship boundaries? What are yours? If this is an issue for you, then leave. She doesn’t have to change who she is, but by god you don’t have to be with them either. I have boundaries for me- if it’s not something I can live with, I move on. I don’t control them, but I also don’t have to accept the things that hurt me. Just a thought.
I tend to be very open sexuallu and believe you have a sexual insecurity that is a problem on your end. So yes I believe you are overactive.
What if your wife used to be a porn star? Would you expect every record of her being fucked by another man in a video somewhere to be deleted?
You know you're not the only man she has ever been with. What difference does it makes if she keeps old photos or videos. It should be no reflection on you. She actually married you.
Next would you ask her to never use her memory to think of the sex they had or to ever remember it. Do you think she should also erase her memory and pretend like she has never been with any other man in her life but you.
What you are experiencing seems to be more of a "you problem". You shouldn't be asking anyone, especially someone you love to erase portions of their past (physicsl or intangible) to appease your pride, will, control, insecurities, or self worth.
I agree with her. I got tons of shit recorded dating back years. Is ot weird? Maybe. If I found someone weird and cool to settle down with and they had no problem with my past, I wouldn't have a problem with theirs.
An issue that isn’t really being addressed is a lack of ability to consent on the part of the ex.
The wife is (presumably) viewing this video over and over, and it’s quite possible that the ex would not be okay with that. It’s not an art piece; it’s a sex tape that was likely made for use and pleasure within the context of their relationship.
And, to be clear, my argument isn’t legal, it’s ethical— I just think it’s generally a bit icky to keep viewing intimate pictures/videos when a relationship ends, out of respect to the previous partner, not to mention the current one 😵💫 Wife is wrong on a few counts here..
He said in a comment she and they ex agreed to each keep their copies
He’s very much consented to her viewing in the future
They also weren’t in a relationship but a fwb thing
What's truly different from this and watching porn? Do you masturbate to videos that contain women that are not your wife? Does this make you unfaithful?
He says she’s a sentimental person…. I think she’s valid honestly. If she shows no other signs of being weird or disloyal, I would trust that she genuinely just wants it for her own sake.
If I made a super sexy porn video where I felt hot, I think it would be fascinating to watch it back 10, 20, 30 years later to relive the feelings and to see what I used to look like. Although I am of the camp of being sentimental as well and I would love to see the past version of me having a good time, even if I don’t care for the partner in the video anymore. Seeing what my body used to look like would be beautiful, I think.
I’m not saying she’s absolutely right, but I feel like I could see myself doing the same thing, and I wouldn’t blame a partner for doing the same. Although I’m not the type to want to be with someone who gets jealous/possessive over things like that. But for me, I love looking at old pictures/videos of myself
Imma bounce
I'm with this guy. Time to dip.
i’m right behind ya
I'm thinking about canceling the internet to my house and trading my smartphone for a flipphone.
fuck a flip phone. we getting a landline
I’ll go back to having two cans and a string.
I’ll just yell real loud if I wanna call someone
Imma just draw what I got to say on the wall of a cave and hope someone comes along and reads it.
Charcoal hasn’t been invented yet. Thug put hand in shit and put on rock. Maybe other Thugs see.
Going back to looking for berries not knowing how to communicate at all
Evolve use funny talk boxes
Ahoy-hoy!
You'll have to speak up. I'm wearing a towel
This... Is the way
Are you just a prop now?
As long as you’re not behind his wife.
Sloppy thirds ?
enough internet for the day
Read a few replies actually talking about the situation. Now im here to tell yall,, IMMA. BOUNCE. Mght settle for the flip phone.
See ya at the gym
She definitely did … on video on something else
Nah leave her wtf
Dwight from The Office is the kind of person who’d keep sex tapes like this and then give this sort of excuse. *”It’s just memorabilia of when I was virile, I see no problem here”*
Bold of you to think Dwight would admit he isn't virile today.
He can raise and lower his virility at will.
On second thoughts of course he can. He'd probably keep his sex tapes because he'd think they deserved to ne in a museum for future generations to see.
It's instructional material so his bloodline knows the successful methods for procreation
Someone has to teach Mose sex.
This guys wife will be there tomorrow
They’re his wild oats, he can do with them as he pleases.
Everyone knows the schrute’s don’t sow Oates! It’s beets!! They sowed there wild beets!!
It was his wife not him
They’re her wild oats, she can do with them as she pleases.
"I can go from flaccid to erect in a moment's notice"
I literally just snort laughed SO loud.
This comment is gold 😂
“We Schrutes are an incredibly hardy and virile family. We mate twice a year. First in the spring, then, in the fall, at the Pennsboro Pumpkin Festival. I myself was conceived in a pumpkin patch.”
"To the dulcet tones of my parents beet juicer liquidating that years harvest. I still have my conception jar, which contains the beet juice harvested during my conception. " Jim: "ew Dwight, you kept that?" Dwight: scoffing- "of course, Jim. Like I'd throw out good juice...."
"It is a Schrute family tradition that upon marriage, the parents leave wild oats on your doorstep for you to sow. You can do whatever you want with them as they are your oats. Hence the term, sowing wild oats."
EVERYONE knows onions and beats are good for the libido!!!!!
I was thinking she sounded more like Dennis from It’s Always Sunny, but I could see this too.
It’s all balls and male ass
Absolutely a Dennis move
As I read Dwight from The Office, he appeared on my TV
I would be horrified if my spouse kept old sex tapes with another partner. There was a post recently from a woman who found videos on her husband’s computer, and I think she could tell he had recently viewed them. I wonder what ever happened with that.
I feel like there are so many questions/ situations to consider before getting in a relationship. Like I have to literally ask someone if they’re going to keep old videos of them being intimate with their exes?
it's honestly why i've given up on dating. relationships require work and compromise, yeah, but you both need to have a framework thats compatible from the get-go. i feel like the dating pool is just FILLED to the brim with these weirdos who do things like OP's partner and think its totally okay and normal, and they try to make YOU crazy for thinking its horrifying.
Yup...after my last relationship inexplicably ended, and I still don't have a straight answer as to why, I checked out of it. And to think I went on a lot of dates with women to finally think I found someone, just for that person to give me conflicting reasons why she dumped me. We were in our 40s.
honestly i just began focusing on making friends as opposed to romantic relationships. in my unpopular opinion dude, the dating scene is just bogus. all of it. going out to dinner with a stranger, putting up this image so they accept you, the countless amount of money that you could end up spending just for them to ghost you. all of it is wack. it's way easier and way more organic to find a partner in someone you're already friends with. getting into clubs, doing activities where there are people, these things are way more organic than dressing as nice as possible for someone you don't even know. i've had way more success "dating" by only really meeting people to make friends and picking the ones that fit the best with me and shooting my shot. im sorry that happened to you buddy. the fact that she can't even give you a straight answer says more about her than it does about you. you may find someone else, you may not, but just know that you're enough just when its you too.
Same boat. Just enjoying my friends, hobbies and traveling. Also enjoying meeting new people. 2nd paragraph is spot on. Though, the one thing I've always done is just be me. I know exactly what you mean about the facade people put on, and you're absolutely right, but I'd rather have you like me for me...not some cutout version of me you won't get for pretty much the entirety of the relationship. I agree with the last 2 paragraphs too. My dating app days are over. Meeting organically or simply building a friendship is more important to me now. Good luck to you
This is a good way to think imo. I’ve had a few serious relationships in my time and tbh every one of the ones that actually lasted and made an impression on me were ones I wasn’t looking for, they just kind of happened. The ones where I sook out a person didn’t last and weren’t worth the effort tbh. My current husband and I started as friends, that met through a mutual friend, playing our favourite video game at the time. We didn’t talk after our first meeting for like a month and then the second time we talked things just kind of unexpectedly clicked and blossomed from there without either of us putting in much effort. It really is the best way to do it. It’s like that old saying; if you’re looking for it, you’ll never find it, or whatever 😂 also feel like it’s a lot less pressure bc when you go on a “first date” you really wanna make a good impression and I feel like it makes you nervous and act unnatural sometimes lol. It’s like a job interview but for sex.
My wife and I met on Tinder. Each other’s first ever Tinder date. Now six years later I DM a 5e campaign where she’s a Rune Knight. Anything is possible!
My mom met her current husband on Plenty Of Fish. …after she divorced my dad when she caught him using Match.com to cheat on her. I met my husband on okCupid. I feel like I should have a pithy or profound thing to end with but 🤷🏼♀️.
“It is what it is” lol
I think the real thing is I would be horrified if my ex kept old tapes after they got a new partner let alone married. I mean, that's why I don't have any tapes out there in the first place but still
I don't even like hearing a recording of my voice played back to me.
Yeah, imagine a total stranger seeing that 🥴
Or your child
Yikes, yet another reason to never have sex tapes!
From what I remembered most people pointed out that the “most recent view” was from when she went rummaging around his files.
When I was young and dumb, I had an ex-boyfriend like this. He had a collection of sexual photos and videos of past partners on his computer and could not understand why this bothered me. He gaslit me into thinking I was just being jealous and insecure for disliking this. We broke up within a year, and I am so thankful I dodged that bullet. Dude was a walking, talking red flag in more ways than just this one. OP, if your wife is unwilling to delete these, I think you have to consider that she may not be as great of a partner as you think and bounce.
I know exactly what post you’re talking about! I wonder if she ever confronted her husband…
I think she did! I remember she updated if we're talking about the same thing.
Some people are arguing whether she “can” or “can’t” do this. Obviously, she can do whatever she wants. That’s only one part of the equation though. The other part is the consequences. Regardless of what she “wants,” her husband is clearly hurt by her insistence keeping mementos of sex with another person. In a relationship, that matters. It’s more about what she “should” do for her relationship. What does she value more? Memories of fucking some guy, or her husband knowing she’s satisfied with him?
“What does she value more? Memories of fucking some guy, or her husband knowing she’s satisfied with him?” This is the crux of it. EDIT: because people keep commenting below this about his insecurities. “Insecurity” is a cudgel Redditors use to attempt to invalidate someone’s position and shift the perceived nature of the problem. I can just as easily say that her need to keep the videos as momentous of how she looked in her younger & wilder days, even at risk to her marriage, is a direct result of her insecurity with her looks and aging. **And i’d be right.** So now we’re weighing one persons insecurity against the others **and the needs of the relationship.** So both have insecurities that are helping shape their position and we’re back to what I believe the issue here really is. This is really about respect for her spouse and the relationship.
Her choice seems obvious…
The word "insecurity" is actually commonly used to gaslight people into allowing reasonable boundaries to get stomped. It happens all the time on Reddit. "AITA for not wanting my wife to go on a week long trip to Miami with another guy?" "WOAH insecure much? Do you even trust your wife???"
Reddit HATES it when a woman’s actions might have negative consequences.
Agreed. I'm all for calling out shitty/controlling men. They exist in HUGE numbers. But Reddit has this idea that absolutely nothing changes when you enter a relationship, and it's such an immature way of looking at how two adults should care and look out for each other.
Nailed it. Reddit loves “insecure” as a buzzword and many people either have no idea what it means, or simply choose to ignore what it means. 75% of the time on here, “they’re being insecure” just means “I want to do what I want no matter how insulting/demeaning it is without consequences and they’re getting in the way.”
Everyone has some level of insecurity. It’s not unreasonable to expect your partner to make you feel secure to a certain degree. IE I have long-time female friend I sometimes go hang out with or get lunch with etc. No big deal. But I wouldn’t go make friends with some random woman and start spending a lot of time with them. It would make my wife uncomfortable.
People like to pretending he is saying he's gonna chain her to a radiator and force her to delete the videos. Guess what you cn even cheat in a marriage, its just not gonna last very long if your partner finds out.
Yes, getting rid of them is 100% what she should do for her relationship. She should also be getting rid of them for the sake of the ex. I feel like those are basic respect rules: you break up, pics and vids that are NSFW get deleted. It’s gross to hold onto those.
I’d not only get rid of them I’d replace them with ones with the current hubby.
People literally don't understand relationship cost of actions and want the progression to be "I can do what I want and how you feel about it is your problem and I'm the victim here" 🤷
So many people these days confuse the freedom to do something with the freedom from the consequences.
Memento, best movie ever though
Imo the only thing she did wrong was tell anyone about this. She should have just kept it to herself and took it to her grave. I don't care I'll take my downvotes
Really he should offer to make their own together and tell her she’s hotter than ever. If that doesn’t work and she insists on keeping them then the ball is in his court as to whether that’s a dealbreaker or not.
Well, this doesn’t address her stated issue with deleting them. She’s apparently holding onto them as mementos of her youth, not because she just likes to have sex tapes handy. This newer video could have some value later on, but not as much as the older ones in this regard.
Goddamn that’s genius Edited to add: yeah and if she were to refuse that would obviously be a serious red flag/pull the rip chord moment.
It's not his job to convince or bargain to get her to delete sex videos of her and her ex, it should be enough for him to say that this really hurts him.
Yeah because if she’s not coo with that, then the guy should just bounce
this is how you win
I’d be asking to see that video 👀
And then making new videos that one-up every single thing in the video 🤣
In the OP, he said she refused to do those any more.
I feel like that makes it worse lol
Any time you are considered less than sexually it isn’t a good deal.
I mean not wanting to make videos in her older body with what she was saying does track tho. She prob wouldn’t want to see herself like that anymore. It’s not for sure it’s about him based on just that knowledge.
Oof
Yeah I fuck with this. If she's not willing to show him then it means more than shes letting on.
I wouldn't want to see that shit.
In my 50s now, I tend to agree. If my 20 something wife had a sex tape, I think I would want to see it.
I’d be the opposite. In my 20s, I’d be upset. In my 50s through 80s, I’d want to see it. In our later years when perhaps a marriage becomes stale, people get less attractive, and most are ready to kick the bucket, some folks become more accepting of things done in their past. In people’s 20s when marriages are fresh, there are more insecurities from things in the past.
I can see how it would be hard for her to delete them, but I can see even more how hard it would be on the husband to think his wife still watches them and is soooooo upset about the idea of deleting them. At the end of the day, she should respect her husband's feelings on this and delete them. Pretty big wedge she's driving into their marriage if she doesn't, and are old sex tapes really more important than her marriage? If so, then I guess he's lucky to find out now.
I agree with this. I've found that people are actually more divided on this than many would like to believe, and people who absolutely must cleanse the past find it almost unfathomable and therefore conclude the worst. Some people also use the past as a sort of roadmap. It's not always the thing they're keeping that they want a reminder of - it's something about themselves, their lives, or some other thing that was ongoing at the time. Absolute destruction of the past is a hard pill to swallow, especially when future relationships can go south. I think stuff like that is worth a conversation. It can even expose underlying drivers. I have a friend who handled this with her husband - they both locked past items away in boxes. Neither wanted to ask the other one to just straight up destroy everything. I think that was a good compromise, but every couple is different of course.
I get your point, but a video of her getting railed by her ex being called a "roadmap" has me dying. 🤣
When I was 15 I deleted my MySpace profile because my ex dumped me and I was absolutely beside myself. I regret doing that so much. There were so many photos of me without him that are lost forever, and even the ones with him I wouldn’t mind having one or two for the same reason you stated here. But also, none of those photos were sexual, so idk, it’s also not really the same.
Level headed comment. I can see how deleting something forever, regardless of what it is, can feel like a lost to some people - I know I would be one of those people. However, I see that in this situation, something like this can be let go because it would mean that your partner would not have any anxiety about this forever. That's just not something you want as a baseline emotion in any relationship.
I mean is this other person okay that she still has these videos? If the roles were switched, yall would crucify a man for sure.
Yeah, I'd be pretty pissed if an ex kept sex tapes of me. And supremely weirded out if they ferociously defended keeping them despite their new spouse being hurt by it. What the fuck is wrong with this woman?
It's really gross to keep nudes of an ex in general
Back then youd have like one painting of your gf maybe one grainy ass picture of he non smiling face, now unlimited 4K pussy/ass/boobies/dick shots, man isn’t strong enough to wield this type of power
In the post Op says his wife told him her and the guy tearin that shit up agreed that they would both keep all their videos for the rest of their lives. 🥶
Either she's a closet narcissist and gets off on her own sex tapes. Or she misses her ex. Or both.
Damn is it narcissistic for me to get off to my own sex tapes. I feel kink shamed lol.
Don't wanna get too deep but same. Knowing its mine adds another layer ;)
nonsense. Seeing your video doesn't make you a narcissist. It helps you relive memories easier
“Oh yes, me! Me! Oh god, Me!!!!” 😂
Also? Knowing it’s yours means you *know* know that everyone consented 100% (assuming you’re not a shitheel). No one was coerced or drugged or underage or all sorts of other issues with the porn industry.
That's the thing that gets me with this. On the one hand she really should respect her husband's feelings on the matter and delete them. On the other hand I'm willing to bet the dude watches porn so what's worse, getting off to a video of a woman who may not have had any actual consent given or getting off to a video you know for sure is completely consensual but has an ex partner in it.
Right, unfortunately because it’s with an ex (even an ex fwb) there’s still a chance to have strings. With porn it’s random strangers whom you had no connection with. I think that’s the issue. Although I do agree about the consent thing, that’s not the only argument in play here.
Your comment just goes to show the double standards on redit. When the roles are reversed and it's the man keeping the NSFW videos/pics people destroy him, how is this different.
No sexual "narcissism" can be hot imo. hot as long as other's boundaries are respected, of course
Either way it’s time to dip like chicken wings in ranch
This is officially my new go to for when I gotta GTFOH 🤣🤣
Yes.
Today I learned that it's narcissistic to be turned on by memories of yourself having sex
Unpopular opinion here. I'm male, mid 30s, bi. I've had partners in the past have sex videos saved from past relationships/flings. I adore the women that have come into my life and I've always supported the inner goddess they all carry. I understand that these past relationships are in the past and when I'm with a partner, I know she's choosing to be with me because she wants to be with me. Watching old videos doesn't really concern me. Just cuz us guys watch porn or geek out on attractive women in the world, doesn't mean we don't love our want to be with our partners. Same goes for everyone else out there. Just because a partner keeps a video and watches it from time to time, does not mean she does not want to be in the relationship with me. If she did yearn for someone else or wish she had something different then that's on her for sticking around with me and I would say she's doing a disservice to herself by staying in something she doesn't want. I get excited to hear what my partner's escapades have entailed because I love my partner and I love what excites her. Sometimes I'll watch them with her if she feels like sharing. They can be great moments if learning more about your partner. What did she like about those experiences and why did she choose to leave them? Curiosity helps bring a relationship closer and helps you get to know the one you love better. And the fact that a partner can talk about these things and either a) get excited about the topics or b) talk about what insecurities it brings up, I think can be very sexy. At the end of the day, she's not with that person in the video anymore, right? So what threat does it really have? If you find yourself feeling inadequate over the situation, then maybe look into how you can worship your goddess that's chosen you and rock her world. Trust me, if you put her pleasure first and truly get connected with her body and mind, you can have fireworks every time you make love. And why would anyone leave a partner that truly gets them, loves them for who they are and knows how to love them? In and out of the bedroom. The porn industry has fucked all of our heads up on what is truly good quality sex. Lots of ownership and focus on male pleasure. Sex sucks when it's just about his pleasure. But when you make it all about her pleasure, that's when the inner sexual goddess feels safe to come out and play and then, do us males find ourselves in a fulfilling, hot, extremely sexy relationship 😉
Very mature. Not sure I could watch her videos though, but that is me. Maybe in a few more years I would not care as much :)
I’m only shocked by how far down this comment was.
Honestly the best reply in this entire thread. I'm shocked how many insecure comments I'm reading. It's a fucking video folks, it's not like she's going out and sleeping with other people. Get over it.
I'm unfortunately not shocked to see how many people are this insecure. It's stupid common, especially with redditors
Is she jerking it to her own old sex tapes? Lmfao. I get why the husband is upset by this but feel like the more upsetting thing is that his wife fantasizes about *herself*
The husband: this hurts me…. The wife: but my younger body being stabbed by this dudes erect penis tho!
I truly think it’s more about her younger body than it is about that guy’s dick
I agree, remembering when she was younger and beautiful. I'd keep the vids for confidence boost if they were good shots. Like, look at my young and sexy self.... but I have no confidence so I can use all the boost I can get.
I really do think this is a big part of it. Because I have kept a five year old sex video with someone I hate and would rather not think about. But it’s the best I ever looked to myself in any video or photo ,esp naked. So sometimes I watch it to boost my confidence for sure.
It happens!
… don’t we all? That’s like the whole point of porn. You watch people doing it and you imagine it was you. She’s just using a video where it is her. Barely any difference
Don't fantasies typically involve yourself?
I mean, she was honest about it. Like i personally would not care because it is not like she is sitting there on a Friday night with popcorn. If it makes her happy to have it sure. I am comfortable and confident enough not to be worried about it. Offer to be in the sequel. Have fun with it. Who cares your wife had a history. Give it 15-20 years and watch it with her.
I'm probably the only person that thinks that what wife keeps is her business.
I think you both have the right to feel the way you do. Those videos are her personal property and probably the last image she has of herself in a younger sexual experience, exhibiting her beauty and freedom in a certain way. It’s understandable why she might want to keep that. It’s also completely valid that this might make you feel uncomfortable, and nothing should stop you from making those feelings heard. The hard answer that no one wants to hear is that your wife had a sexual life before you, and you probably did before her. There’s nothing wrong with both of you having a fond recollection of those times, albeit privately and respectfully. Anyone who denies that reality is just fooling themselves. Anyways, I suggest you make your feelings known and try to understand hers as well. Draw the line where it needs to be drawn, and hopefully y’all can come to a reasonable understanding of eachothers feelings.
ok seemingly unpopular opinion— its no different than you watching porn? Plenty of couples can healthily dip into porn every now and again. No biggie there. Its an old memory that she certainly shouldn’t have to get rid of. Dont be weird about it
Oh my a tape of my wife having sex with an old boyfriend, she really should of gotten rid of this. *Long pause* *sighs* *unzips pants*
My friend told me he keeps the nudes from every girl he dates even after they breakup and apparently that a usual thing for dudes, these guys all had “spank banks” of nudes of of their exes, I was the only one who thought that was fucking weird. People are weird man
that is weird and trust me most guys don't have one of those lmao
> My friend told me he keeps the nudes from every girl he dates even after they breakup Your friend is a creep, that's super weird honestly.
This is not normal. Your friend sounds like a creep, and I’d bet a lot of his exes would not be OK if they knew he still had this content. I ask exes to delete this stuff once we are no longer together, and I’d like to think they have respectfully obliged. I’m the one featured in the content, and I don’t want it being looked at by anyone I’m not in a loving, trusting relationship with.
Why is it any of your business if she’s not seeing him?
I'd want to see it, would be hot to see my wife giving her all to another guy.
I don't see the problem with keeping the tapes. Then again, I'm ENM. Seven years ago and with a FWB, not even a committed monogamous partner. Sounds like this guy has some serious insecurities.
This is funny, because in the gay world, no one would think twice about that. Of course you’re going to keep any sex videos with other people… big whoop. Those go into the permanent spank bank LOL
Lol my thoughts exactly, being straight seems exhausting sometimes. My partner and I both have old sexy stuff on our phones. I’m sure some of my exes have stuff on their phone. As long as everyone is keeping it to themself I couldn’t care less
LOL thank you! Man this thread is full of the most uptight people
I’m straight and had an ex who kept his old videos. It didn't bother me one bit, I never even thought about caring. Now we're broken up and he has mine and I still don't care since I know he won't do anything negative with them.
In the swinger world too. My husband and I both have plenty of videos with other people from before and after we got married. I like to watch his and mine too. He only kept really good ones like banging two college girls. That was hot.
I was wondering wtf was up with the comments. If i film/let someone take pictures, those are for keeps. You don’t do that if it’s not for keeps.
THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING. These heteros care so much and I have a few gigs of sex tapes with my exes that all my bfs have enjoyed watching lmao
If the straights knew how often sex vids were passed around the gay community, it would BLOW! THEIR! MINDS! LOL
I have tons of videos with partners and they all consented and even filmed...I have copies, so do they. I think its kinda hot.
Lol was thinking this when reading all the comments, lol jealous straight people.
Honestly all these stories solidly reaffirm my decision to be single …
Real life people are rarely this dense. This is National Inquirer shit.
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I mean is she watching them consistently or just keeping them? If she was watching then I would understand being upset but it’s a video of her she doesn’t have to delete it if she doesn’t want to. She’s allowed to keep mementos of her life.
Don't be a pussy, watch them while fucking your wife, dork.
I wouldnt be upset. Kinda into that shit so...
I got nudey pics from my early 20s that I'll prolly hold onto forever. I'm never gonna see my tits that high and perky again. I kinda get it. I also get why he's upset but I think I'd fight him on it too. Something about immortalizing your youth. Edit: realized I didn't clarify, if my partner was upset about my nudey photos, I'd fight him on it. Not videos. Videos are... a bit much.
Do you have someone else nude with you in these nude-y photos? If not, I think that's not the same thing. Even with video, if he were pissed because she has a video of her younger self masturbating, I don't think he would have a leg to stand on. There's something wrong with keeping a deeply sexual memento of a former lover when you're in a committed relationship IMO. If she wants to say its not about the guy, then she can say that. The guy is there. Every time she is remembering how "dumb and carefree" she was, she's seeing herself with that guy.
Yeah Rando titty pics from the past = funny memories Videos of you fucking your Ex = Ew, why do u still have that?
Who cares. Use them like porn. Geezus.
I know this is reddit, so it's to be expected, but the amount of insecurity reflected in the comments is astounding.
Eh it's going to take serious convincing to ever get me to delete my cache. Those are my achievements.
If she wants to remember being wild and free on other D, then OP should let her go relive it by leaving her.
That's fucked. She sounds pretty "carefree" when it comes to your feelings. Maybe you can just video her responses to your request.
I wouldn't get rid of my old sex videos, it's a documented memory 🤣. I understand how the other person can feel but it's still a 'No'.
Right?! When I’m ancient and in a nursing home, you better believe I’m going to be pulling the taffy watching those old vids of me in my prime gettin it!
Seeing stuff like this scares me- Ive been in a happy relationship for almost 3 years, and whenever I see stuff like this that comes up multiple years into the relationship, Im terrified. Like I cant imagine my girlfriend doing this, but im sure OP would have said the same thing. Leave, man. Not only is it 100% not normal for her to keep those, but her failure to respect your boundaries is abhorrent for a long term partner. Also, being SO adamant to keep them is raising some alarms, like she could have an obsession with guy, who knows? (also- we dont know how the guy in the videos feels about it- i believe there are now revenge porn laws that mandate deleting intimate photos/videos of past partners once the relationship ends, but i could be wrong or it could be regional. Perhaps theres a method for people to request it, idk- i just feel like the video guy’s opinion wasnt taken into consideration by her at all here)
Reading this thread is really a reminder that people that are active on Reddit aren’t representative of average people. No sane person I know IRL would consider it reasonable to keep sex tapes with an ex. Even worse than keeping the videos, she is making a big argument with her current husband about keeping them. While keeping the videos prior to them discussing the issue is inconsiderate/disrespectful, the wife taking the stance of ‘I will not delete these videos, regardless of how much it damages my current partner and relationship’ is asinine. If you think this is reasonable or acceptable behavior in real life relationships you are either socially stunted or chronically online.
Oh, totally, coming here for anything but entertainment is a mistake. I see opinions stated as fact non stop on Reddit that I’ve never remotely encountered in real life from men or women.
The comments calling the guy insecure for this are so wild to me, comments on these posts really are from a completely alien segment of society to me lol
I want to think they're not married. Out of courtesy I try not to talk about my ex at all, I would never mention intimate stuff about the past and expect my wife to do the same since it's just disrespectful. My mistake on reddit was thinking this was common sense
Great post. I love Reddit because people have such weird views. I don’t know one person in my real life that would agree that keeping these videoed is ok.
Most levelheaded comment here. Reddit is a weird place. Shut it down.
1000%. Also, in real life, people would be aghast at someone keeping porn of someone they are no longer with. Unlikely that the ex consents to her keeping porn of him around forever. It is wildly inappropriate to keep sex tapes and photos around of exs after you are no longer with them.
Please reply to the comment about yours because his take is insane. We have people calling this man insecure just for wanting respect from his wife.
Why do people repost shit that's not theirs? Genuinely curious.
I don't get none y'all. I WISH I had evidence that I was sexy and hot and had a great time in my youth.
Uhm. It’s a relationship, so whether it’s okay is really up to the two of you. If it’s something you’ll never be okay with and she’ll always be okay with, then maybe the problem is just two incompatible people.
I deleted the pictures I had of my ex wife when I got remarried. My current wife didn’t even know I had them or ask that I got rid of them. I just respect her too much as a person to even consider keeping pictures of an ex to look at when I’m married to her.
Just make fresh new videos with her
The remedy is this, put the videos on in the background as you fuck her brains out and slut her out. Do this a couple times and those vids go away. You will prob enjoy more than her which will make her not want them
Relationship boundaries? What are yours? If this is an issue for you, then leave. She doesn’t have to change who she is, but by god you don’t have to be with them either. I have boundaries for me- if it’s not something I can live with, I move on. I don’t control them, but I also don’t have to accept the things that hurt me. Just a thought.
I tend to be very open sexuallu and believe you have a sexual insecurity that is a problem on your end. So yes I believe you are overactive. What if your wife used to be a porn star? Would you expect every record of her being fucked by another man in a video somewhere to be deleted? You know you're not the only man she has ever been with. What difference does it makes if she keeps old photos or videos. It should be no reflection on you. She actually married you. Next would you ask her to never use her memory to think of the sex they had or to ever remember it. Do you think she should also erase her memory and pretend like she has never been with any other man in her life but you. What you are experiencing seems to be more of a "you problem". You shouldn't be asking anyone, especially someone you love to erase portions of their past (physicsl or intangible) to appease your pride, will, control, insecurities, or self worth.
I agree with her. I got tons of shit recorded dating back years. Is ot weird? Maybe. If I found someone weird and cool to settle down with and they had no problem with my past, I wouldn't have a problem with theirs.
An issue that isn’t really being addressed is a lack of ability to consent on the part of the ex. The wife is (presumably) viewing this video over and over, and it’s quite possible that the ex would not be okay with that. It’s not an art piece; it’s a sex tape that was likely made for use and pleasure within the context of their relationship. And, to be clear, my argument isn’t legal, it’s ethical— I just think it’s generally a bit icky to keep viewing intimate pictures/videos when a relationship ends, out of respect to the previous partner, not to mention the current one 😵💫 Wife is wrong on a few counts here..
He said in a comment she and they ex agreed to each keep their copies He’s very much consented to her viewing in the future They also weren’t in a relationship but a fwb thing
I think I would want to keep my old videos too so I would be a hypocrite if I didn’t allow my wife to keep hers if she had some too
I agree with the wife
What's truly different from this and watching porn? Do you masturbate to videos that contain women that are not your wife? Does this make you unfaithful?
That's called insecurity. Period. Don't whine with all your excuses. Grow some balls instead.
He says she’s a sentimental person…. I think she’s valid honestly. If she shows no other signs of being weird or disloyal, I would trust that she genuinely just wants it for her own sake. If I made a super sexy porn video where I felt hot, I think it would be fascinating to watch it back 10, 20, 30 years later to relive the feelings and to see what I used to look like. Although I am of the camp of being sentimental as well and I would love to see the past version of me having a good time, even if I don’t care for the partner in the video anymore. Seeing what my body used to look like would be beautiful, I think. I’m not saying she’s absolutely right, but I feel like I could see myself doing the same thing, and I wouldn’t blame a partner for doing the same. Although I’m not the type to want to be with someone who gets jealous/possessive over things like that. But for me, I love looking at old pictures/videos of myself
This is one of those switch genders and all the women would be pissed and calling him a perverted pig posts
I feel like these videos are none of the new partners business, and they're free to bounce if they want to
If it’s worthy of keeping that long, might as well make an OF and make some money off of it.