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Not even the $40. Apparently she's not even worth his time because he is willing to help a female friend get home safely but not her. OP open your eyes and see the truth.
This reminds me of a very recent case here in Brazil - a very very drunk girl was put on an uber by her friends and called her brother to say she was on her way home. Note: she was unconscious.
When the uber arrived, her brother was asleep or smth, the uber rang the doorbell for 15 minutes and nobody answered, so he left her unconscious on the sidewalk and left.
A stranger passing by (about four minutes after the uber left) took the girl os his back and walked until an empty place, raped her and left her there.
You’re lucky your stranger was kind. I feel glad you were safe!
Still some crappy friends. No way I’m sending anyone I remotely care about alone in a Lyft in a compromised position. Who cares if your husband was notified you could’ve been killed or badly injured and he only would’ve known after the fact.
I had a coworker I met literal hours before at a company party get a little too blasted. I rode with her to the hotel in an Uber, made sure she’s in her room safe, then rode back to the party. I’ve never thought I did anything extraordinary or outside of what any other person would’ve done until reading this thread…are we not doing girl code anymore?! In the year of the Barbie movie?! Wild.
The problem was they left you alone in a Lyft. I NEVER get in a Lyft or Uber alone without sending ALLLL the details to at least two people. Driver, license plate, real-time route... NOT blaming you at all -- your friends were really irresponsible.
I once passed out from a chair at a party and hit my forehead hard on a wooden floor. I think I was seizing a little as I woke up to me grinding my nose on a carpet. I later asked my friends what they did to help me and one guy said, "I tried to kick you over." I realized then that these people weren't my friends. They did nothing. I ended up with a concussion that gave me severe pain and double vision and rug rash on my nose. I left that group a little later.
And even if he isn’t those two things and he genuinely make a series of very bad calls then he’s so terminally stupid that he should not reproduce.
Not for nothing, file FOIA request from the police and ask if they have dash or vest footage from when the drove up on you and ask for their description of what happened in the car. I really wonder why if he said he’d carry you to your destination the police found him with you lying on the ground. Was he going to leave you? Assault you? Something else?
Girl... he was risking you for 200 bucks. I guess money are more valuable than you in his eyes. After his talk about money... do not stay with him. And his friends. They made fun of life tgreatening situation.... what are the chances they did not spice up your drink...? For fun or even stupid tiktok? leave them and do not look back
Can confirm. Several of us who are just decent human beings have done more to help a stranger in a bar than OP's bf did. He doesn't deserve a significant other.
back in college, my girlfriend & i went on a partybus w a group. We drank before & she was so drunk, we got kicked out of the bar 5 min in. We had no cash & no ride home, since the partybus wasnt coming back for hours. I layed her down on the sidewalk, & a taxi offered us a ride. I told the guy i didnt have any money & even this stranger knew he couldnt leave us. He drove us quite a ways to another friends house, AFTER the first house we went to didnt answer 😬 & my drunk friend puked all over his taxi on the way there. Do you know what this stranger did?? He helped carry my friend up the stairs & inside the house. Then made sure we were comfortable & safe staying there. That was a complete stranger. I really hope karma made it back around to repay this guy ❤️
I'm willing to bet a lot of money that that taxi driver was a parent. That sounds like the behaviour of a dad who's thinking, "If this was my kid, I'd sure as hell want someone to take care of them the way I'm gonna take care of these two." I really hope with you that the universe gave back to him. People like that deserve the best.
when i was a bartender, drinks were almost NEVER alone.
first date and need the restroom?? drink came behind my bar with me
need to take a phone call? drinks with me. Same goes for men's drinks as well.
The first time I helped a drunk stranger was in the 90's, I was about 5-6 yo, playing with my older sister and our friend. Found a drunk guy who was passed out. We flagged down the closest adult, ran home to get our parents and phone the emergency number (no one had cellphones back then, not in our area at least).
Three kids under 10 had better sense than OP's, presumably adult, boyfriend.
It was far from the last time, as teens that was one of the golden rules for going out: Always look out for each other, and never leave anyone behind (or leave the group to go off on your own). Then I worked as a bartender for a while, so it came with the job.
He sounds like a user. He wants all the relationship perks without any of the work. He can't even be asked to emotionally support his GF.
Deplorable human being.
There actually was a case of a woman who shot her husband in the head when he was sleeping.... but didn't kill him. He woke, thought he was having an aneurysm and asked his wife to drive him to the hospital. He reported afterwards (when the whole thing came to light) that it seemed like she was taking forever to get ready and then purposely took wrong turns and drove slow as fuck.
I wish I could link to the exact story but it was some time ago (it was also a Mr. Ballen episode on YouTube and he does a great job covering it)
Idk if it is just a similiar case but Sheila Davaloo told husband she wants to play a game where he closes his eyes and guess with what she is touching him...and she stabbed him twice. He asked her to uncuff him, call the ambulanse and she uncuffed him but lied about calling for help. Finally she drove him to ER (like 1hour later), stabbed him again near medical center in the parking lot. Finally some strangers saw this, called 911 and he was saved.
I had the same thought. Especially the part where he said “oh I could have been drugged too and maybe I was”.. that’s *not* a normal reaction to the situation at all
This. Was it mostly male friends? He only intervened when a bartender saw you weren’t okay and told him to take you to the ER in a cab. Wtf. It sounds like he was trying to drug you and have fun with his friends. Leave now.
I thought the same thing reading this. Like, you’ve got someone who appears dosed with an unknown substance in an unknown quantity. I would have called a fucking *ambulance* which costs two *thousand* dollars and this guy is tripping about a taxi fare and possible cleaning fee? Like holy shit, this was a potential life or death situation, and assuredly an attempted sexual assault. Who the fuck is this clownshoe?
Perhaps he’s the one that drugged her; it’d make more sense from his perspective if he knew she wasn’t seriously injured as he knew what he gave her. Have any fights with your partner about your sex life before this?
This was the first thought that popped into my mind!! For the reason you stated but also because he was talking about maybe being drugged himself. Sounded like a big cover up to me.
So it was either one of his friends with him knowing about it or he drugged her himself.
But.. no matter who did it.. the bf is an inconsiderate piece of crap.
Op should see this as a lucky eye opener about what to expect from him in the future and as a chance at a quick escape.
This is not relevant here, but: An ambulance should not cost two thousand dollars!! I live in Finland, where it does cost something, but it’s 25 euros, which is about 27 US dollars. You shouldn’t have to think if you can afford care.
Oh, yeah I’m the US and everything costs money and the amount it costs is proportional to how valuable it is to the consumer. So if you’re severely injured and need an ambulance they can really gouge you. I think the only reason we haven’t done that with the fire department yet is because if your house burns down then you’re probably broke.
Another fucked up thing is that the EMTs, drivers, and paramedics hardly get paid shit given the work they do.
That’s the shit that pisses me off. I’m a nurse and part of my job is to help people facilitate negotiating lower rates for their ambulance ride claims. $2,000 is spot on. Unless you are in good old NY, like me, and they charge that plus a “NEW YORK SERVICE CHARGE FEE”. Most ambulances are out of network too it’s nuts so it really screws people over even with insurance. The worst part is that money is paid by the patient directly to the ambulance provider and in no way goes to the emergency responders who are doing all the work. I hate this garbage healthcare system it’s designed to fuck over every one but the patient worst of all.
God, this made me remember watching a video of a woman desperately *begging* bystanders not to call an ambulance because she couldn't afford it, despite her *leg having just been crushed* (by a train, I believe). It was so devastating that thinking about it still makes me tear up.
My dad had to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance once and he later got a bill for His part, meaning what was left after insurance paid and it was $14,000 USD. You can only be sick or have a medical emergency if you are rich here.
I had to have my gallbladder removed in emergency surgery and they had to keep me 2 extra days for observation, it was 3 times it’s normal size and full of stones. My portion of my bill was just under $35,000.
I personally think it’s more than that. Was he the one who drugged her? Or did he know who did it? He sounds like he acted really weird. Something’s either wrong with him, or this isn’t his first rodeo.
100% agree with this comment. I've helped more strangers. Are you still with him? You're in a life altering moment where you've been drugged and he's concerned about the $40 taxi he just paid? If it was my loved one, I'd become more concerned about if they were going to survive being drugged.
Op is your life worth more than a man not willing to pay $200 to save your life?
I'm so glad that you're okay!
Enough said. You can’t prevent shitty situations from happening, best you can do is live and learn.
It so happens that the only time in my life I went through something similar was also early 20s, partying with a group of friends, and had a few sips off of a female friend’s drink. Suffice to say that next day was not a typical hangover, thankfully our friends did not lose our sight, but one moment I was dancing and the next I was in my kitchen staring at a tuna sandwich. Since then it’s only longnecks at the club with my thumb blocking it, if I lose sight of my drink for whatever reason, I lose that drink.
Same. I've done more for people I love and even friends than he did for someone he's supposed to really care about. OP you say he cares more for his other friends than you...that would be enough for me to leave. You're a filler until he finds someone else.
OP, I hope you see this.
The week I met my (now) husband, I got drugged at the bar where I'd gone to see a drag show with some co-workers. I let my guard down because I thought I was safe, given the atmosphere.
I had met my husband less than a week before this. He didn't go with us that night. But as I, unknowingly, texted him in the early morning hours, he became concerned with how i seemed "off." He called off work (Losing money and his hourly rate would have equaled a couple hundred too), Came to my hotel room (BTW my work adventure had me out of state for a few weeks so I had NO ONE I knew well near me) and he convinced me to go to the hospital. I remember NOTHING of this, except a brief glimpse of me walking out to meet him at his car and then next thing in the hospital room.
Not only did he stay by me through the hospital visit and the vomiting from the "just in case" meds approximately SIX DAYS after we met, but he also drove me back to the hotel, kept watch over me, and encouraged me to try to eat (food he paid for).
We were essentially strangers. He has never once complained about any of that.
So.... ditch the BF is what I'm saying.
Omg that’s so sweet I’m crying! You’re very lucky, and I’m so glad you have someone like that around you, totally deserved<3 This is how I wished he would react to my situation ngl. Thinking that you only knew each other for 6 days at that point, and I’ve been together with mine for 3 YEARS.. it’s difficult to ignore the differences
My partner once saw a girl that was very drunk to the point she was struggling. He noticed some guys were bothering her so he got her a taxi and paid for it to get her home away from the situation.
He didn't know her.
Please don't stay with someone that treats you like your current partner, because he isn't acting like one.
Honey, I hate to be that guy, but….is it possible that your BF drugged you?
The ambulance he totally called but “wouldn’t come” because you were unconscious? The refusal to take the taxi “just in case” you threw up? Only getting a ride after the cops came?
It just sounds to me like he was doing everything in his power to delay you going to the ER and hoping you could “walk it off.” Maybe he didn’t think it would effect you so badly?
And there are so many men out there like this. Yours is a lemon. Dump him. Also I'm so sorry you were drugged - that's terrifying, and I hope you are doing alright.
GIRL WHAT?! 3 YEARS?? And this is how he treats you??? God imagine having kids with this guy and him not believing you if something is wrong??? dump the mother fucker already!
Girl, first of, I’m sorry this happened to you… and I’m sorry your bf is terribly unconcerned. At the time and after that night, it’s basic decency to be worried about you. It’s fucking scary….but it seemed like he doesn’t even care at ALL. If this is bothering you, then i guess you know the answer yourself. Take good care of yourself babe.
Had a similar ex, who refused to pay a small bill for my care.
My mother is also like this, to the extent in which my sister almost died from septic shock because she didn't want to burden my mother with the hospital bill despite that she had a 106 degree fever and fatally low blood pressure. My family has millions saved but make us feel like shit if we ever go to the hospital and drop $1000, regardless of how close we are to dying.
Drop this man and run.
That is just wow.. I don’t have words honestly. I’m so sorry that your sister had to even question getting the help she needed. You should NEVER feel guilty to get the help you need!!
And yeah… after reading these comments, it seems like the only logical thing to do
Yeah, anyone who is willing to risk someone's life because they're worried about the bill is imo a fucked up person. I'd spend all my savings on a friend, even if it was a false alarm.
Well, how do you think that they were able to save those millions? 😂
Seriously though, my mom was the same way
I never even saw a dentist in my life until I was 20 years old and took myself. This, despite the fact that we have medical cards that fully covered both medical and dental throughout our childhoods.
When I was 14 I broke several small bones in my left hand. It was fucking agonizing, my hand was a good four times its size, purple and black bruising. My mom dismissed it as being broke. For a week, seven days, I lived with this excruciating pain. I wouldn't even sleep at night because I was terrified of rolling over on my hand or bumping it against something in my sleep. I finally got the idea of going to the school nurse, who called my mom and suggested that I be taken to the doctor. I knew that was the only way she'd do it because she didn't want to get turned into social services and get herself in trouble or inconvenienced. They had to give me milk of amnesia to manipulate the bones back to where they needed to be before putting the cast on.
Then she kept my pain pills for herself. Wouldn't give not one of them. Good times, good times.
Ikr
This isn't just a mistake that he made drunkenly not knowing what to do. He literally just didn't care, shamed op, and had "friends" shame op... wtf.
Dude if one of my friends told me his gf was drugged the previous night I'd be "omg is she ok? You did what? Wtf is wrong with you?"
Why didn’t they just call an ambulance?
It doesn’t seem like your BF has very good judgment. And neither do any of the people you were hanging out with.
Well he did, but he told them I was conscious, because I managed to answer a question or two at some point, so then they didn’t want to come and get me.
His friends actually left when this happened to me, and that also struck me as weird.
A person's friends tell you a lot about them. Not only did he completely fail you, he hangs out with people that don't care enough to take care of someone who's obviously unwell and then joke about you being drugged. That says a lot.
I wouldn't be surprised. In uni, I had a friend who got absolutely crazy drunk, starting hallucinating, and got kicked out of the club. We all thought he had just drunk too much. It turned out a friend of a friend at our pre drinks party had drugged him! We never figured out what it was, but the other guy just said he thought it would be funny. Absolutely disgusting.
im so jaded that i would not be surprised the boyfriend was involved in some aspect.
Would explain his reluctantance to spend any effort to get her immediately to the hospital.
Some power kink to knock her out gone wrong.
Any bets how long it takes for him to start blaming OP?
Wtf is wrong with those people? Who leaves someone alone after they're clearly drugged? I wouldn't even leave a stranger like that without at least calling an ambulance or cops and waiting with them. This has Red flags all over! Sounds like someone in that group is responsible for OP being drugged. The fact bf wasn't so worried about OP is setting off alarms for me. Im sorry, but bf and/or at least his friends have something to do with this
Especially, since they joked about OP being drugged. I would love for someone to explain to me how the hell that is funny at all? Anyone who finds that humorous is beaming with alerts
When something like this happens to a complete stranger you stick around until they're safely on their way. You don't crowd around, but you stay there until the ambulance arrives.
I was thinking the same thing. They probably thought it would be “funny” (considering they joked about it the next day), and then they left after she was unwell ‘cause they didn’t want to deal with the consequences.
It’s possible, even likely, that *he* was the one that drugged her. He’s the one who would’ve “benefited” from her being in that state. He was pissed about the money because his idea to “loosen her up” didn’t work out as planned. I wouldn’t be surprised if he did it to make her easier to abuse by him and his friends. He’s obviously a bad person, but I have a feeling his intentions were much darker.
I actually think this may be the case as well. It sounds like he failed to call an ambulance, maybe intentionally or maybe not. He may have called and then cancelled the response partway through the call, but I have my doubts about that. And then he wanted to partake in being victimized while forcing her to walk home.
Based on his and his friends’ behavior during and following this traumatic event, it appears they may have been a part of it.
Yep exactly. All I know is that if my wife got drugged while she was out with me I’d be livid. Forget worrying about money, I’d make sure she was ok and at the hospital and right after I’d be looking for the person that did this to her. I’d be calling all of my friends, the bartenders, the bouncers, everyone, asking if they saw anything suspicious.
His reaction is wayyy off. It’s like he sees getting drugged as no big deal. The only people who think like that are the ones who drug people.
To further this, get tested for rape (stds prego). I wouldn’t trust this guy or his friends alone with you. If you are still unsure OP, listen to the comments - this is the start to a horror story, not a date.
Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/1561a9z/my_boyfriend_and_his_friends_have_a_monthly_game/) r/nosleep it’s literally exactly your scenario.
Yeah not sure where they live but even though ambulances are hella expensive in the US, they will come for any reason. They won’t just say “oh she’s conscious? Nevermind.” That sounds made up.
Hi, ER nurse, I worked on an ambulance for 3 years.
I can tell you that’s bs. Because when you call 911, it doesn’t matter if you’re conscious and can answer a few questions, they don’t just say eh she’s fine we’re not coming.
I doubt he called at all. Someone experiencing a syncopal episode and unable to walk, going in and out of consciousness is not someone who would be ignored.
Girl, he probably didn’t call.
Agreed. My son once called 911 accidentally as a toddler. I realized it and spoke to the dispatcher and explained what happened, and she said it was their policy to send someone, regardless. Many years ago I called due to what turned out to be a panic attack and the firemen and EMTs showed up, and asked if I wanted to go to the hospital. The hopefully-soon-to-be-ex boyfriend’s story doesn’t make sense. OP needs to run.
I once mixed too many cleaning products and made some gas and inhaled it. I stumbled back into my bedroom and called 911. But getting away from the fumes and into another room cleared my head, so I ended the call before speaking to anyone. 15-20 minutes later there were 6 police cars near my house. They asked if anyone called the police. I told them I had but I’m okay now.
Hi, EMT here. Yeah no, he never called. If you call 911 they don't just say yeahhhh, sorry we're not coming. They have to 100% come NO MATTER WHAT. If someone was feeling sick, but completely alert and conscious and called the ambulance themselves, the EMTs/paramedics still have to go and treat/transport that person. There's no scenerio I can even think of where an ambulance wouldn't come because even prank calls they send someone out to make sure everything is okay and it's not a DV situation or worse where someone was caught in the middle of calling.
OP, your bf and his friends have something to do with this!!!! Please get away as soon as possible.
This makes more sense to me ngl. I was very confused about the fact that the ambulance didn’t come, and I got really mad thinking about all the people in danger not getting help. But it was SO weird that they didn’t come considering the police that drove me, they drove with blue lights and took it VERY seriously???
Hate to say this but: The one thing he told me he would do differently about that night was to get the ambulance to come, making it seem like he actually could have gotten them there if he had said the right things? Like it was a choice made by him
Not “if he said the right things.”
“If he had bothered to make the call at all.”
Think about that. If he had made the call, had even talked to a person, an ambulance would’ve shown. Instead he lied to you about calling, pretended like he called, just to force you to WALK once you got worse.
And you’ve been together 3 years. Please trust yourself and your value to know that a life alone is better than a life with him. Ngl I felt like Reddit was running wild w conspiracy theories but between your comments about sex being difficult, him complaining and guilting you about sex, him lying about calling 911, his friends all leaving, everyone making fun of you like getting drugged is a joke, complaining about a small expense & implying you should pay him back, weird comments about “maybe I was drugged too”, like ALL OF IT, I really do think he and/or his friends did this to you and he knows it.
It’s not too late to turn it around though. Your past doesn’t have to be your future.
Or he either knew about it or thought it was one of his friends and opted to protect them over OPs health.
Leave him, as others have said, I have done more for complete strangers. What if the police didn’t happen to see you?
I come from a family of first responders and my BF is a paramedic so I know the 911 system well. Your consciousness level has nothing to do with whether an ambulance comes or not & a 911 call taker can’t make that determination. You call for any medical situation, the ambulance gets dispatched and only when someone with medical training physically evaluates you is it determined whether you go to the hospital or not. Given your state, you’d never be able to refuse medical care so they would have taken you.
My boyfriend has literally been called out for silly things that are a waste of resources but because it came through the EMS side as a “medical emergency” he had to go. Yours never called 911 and is telling you a story to cover up for his lack of concern or care for your state. If I were you, I’d run out of this supposed relationship as fast as I could and never look back. You deserve someone who would have made it a point to get you the care you needed.
That seems strange, an ambulance is supposed to come if you call them, I feel like maybe he was hiding something from you.
Also him and his friends are pieces of shit. Leave now and never look back.
It's incredibly weird of an ambulance to refuse a call, no matter what, they're supposed to come evaluate the person at least, and then that person can decline going to the hospital if they'd like. But for them to be like, "nah, she sounds fine, good luck tho" is just really fishy to me.
Ya something’s missing here- that’s a liability- EMT/paramedic has to make that call on scene and patient has to sign that they’re not interested in care..
Cut everyone off. They are not safe to be around. Especially your boyfriend who doesn't give a shit for you, AND allows his friends to make jokes about your experience
If you were my friend, it wouldn't matter if I had to wrack up a credit card to get cash. I'd even be calling my whole phone book or asking management about an emergency ride.
Any reasonable human will look after another, especially when something like a drugging happens. Up until they are okay or the qualified people are there.
The jaded in me wants to say your bfs friends drugged you as a joke and then dipped when they got scared. That's why it wasn't a big deal to your bf. Or, he could just be that dense.
But overall honey, he's shown he can't be trusted when things get serious or you aren't able to advocate for yourself. Imagine it wasn't just a daterape drug. Imagine it was something even more hazardous that could've poisoned you. You couldn't know, but that would've been his same reaction.
He might be trusted for mundane life, but his actions prove he can not be trusted for real life. He has proved he is not safe for long-term life, if you were to be injured in an accident or something equally horrible, would you be able to trust him to actually be there and take care of you when you can't yourself. That is a big question when it comes to a life partner.
You should probably look at therapy for yourself and end the relationship. You deserve someone who'd move the heavens and earth to make sure you were okay. Not complain about the price of a taxi.
To him, your life and well-being aren't even worth $200, let alone the $40 he's complaining about. You are a priceless individual, no dollar should be counted when it comes to guaranteeing a loved ones safety.
An ambulance wouldn't decline to pick someone up if they're conscious and they suspect drugging or even alcohol poisoning; or even another medical issue. Many people are conscious when picked up by an ambulance and brought in.
This whole story seems weird now...
What country are you in? If an ambulance is called in the US, they come, regardless if you are conscious or not. If my leg got chopped off I could definitely answer a question or two, that doesn't mean an ambulance wouldn't come.
I once called the ambulance for a friend with alcohol poisoning. They came with this crazy stretcher thing that held her upright. I don't think the ambulance wouldn't want to pick you up. This sounds fishy. Look at his call log and see if he called 911.
“ other than that” that being risking you dying over 200 bucks yeah,he doesn’t love you and I’m sorry to say I’m not sure he likes you, what a terrible man . Run 🏃♀️ girl don’t look back
Didn’t insist the ambulance come 🚩
Made you WALK when you were barely conscious 🚩
Friends left and then joked about it 🚩
Tried to make you pay him $40 for the taxi when you were experiencing a medical emergency 🚩
Tried to make it about him 🚩
Ignored you when someone was following you 🚩
Idk if you had a near death experience but I’ve heard that calming feeling is something you feel when you’re close to dying. He said fuck no to $200 and insisted you walk. It took police to notice something was wrong and take you. Did they say what was in your system? Some drugs that are used to roofie are over the counter like Benadryl. Him forcing you to walk back with shaky legs after you experienced a horrible near death experience shows he lacks maturity and empathy. You may see the good times but he almost got you killed. Him arguing when you’re scared and all of this behavior towards you is abuse. It may not be clear cut all the time but his handling of ALL of this is not normal.
He does not like you and certainly doesn’t love you. I’ve dated a guy similar. It’s best to get out now then having to go through several more scary, messed up instances like this to realize the truth
I’m not usually one of those “just throw the whole man out” people but this is a pretty despicable reaction to you being drugged and hospitalized. He is NOT worth it. You’re NOT overreacting. This is a dump-able offense.
It’s pretty obvious this guy doesn’t care about you at all, and you deserve better than that.
There is a small, but not negligible percentage of men who will date and even marry women they literally have never liked. It seems like you found one.
> Other than that he’s a kind man
You mean “Other than the fact that he cares more about *potentially* losing $240 over his GF’s life?”
“Other than the fact that he and his friends thinks it’s funny that you got roofied and could have been raped?”
“Other than the fact that he thinks you being scared of assault is annoying and you should just shut up and stop bothering him about it, but if one of his female friends expresses the same fear he leaps up to help them no questions asked?”
How is *any* of that the behavior a kind person would do? Your BF absolutely isn’t a kind person, he’s just willing to be *nice* to you when it’s *convenient* for him. The moment he finds your feelings/safety inconvenient then the nice act drops.
This was my first thought, he probably did it and didn’t think it would go the way it did and he was inconvenienced because he didn’t get what he wanted.
Guy sounds like a walking red flag. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. I would pay way more than $200 to save almost any human, but definitely those I love. This guy doesn’t care about you and actually may be trying to harm you.
it would explain a lot, like his reluctance to get help could come from fear of self-incrimination, complaining about money could stem from internal guilt.
It’s not likely, but it is a possibility. A reddit post doesn’t give any evidence to this assumption sure, as it also doesn’t give any evidence to anything at all. Life experience does though, I have seen people close to each drug each other for all sorts of stupid reasons, and that’s only the small fraction that got caught, it scares me to wonder how many people might get away with it. From fly spray in weed to methanol laced or spiked drinks to hot shots and every chemical in between.
It’s actually statistically the most likely scenario. Most women who get “spiked” it’s by the person they go to the bar with or someone in their group to begin with.
Knowing these things is just the reality of being a woman. Watching your drink around EVERYONE is so important. Especially in new friendship groups/relationships.
The people that are willing to drug another person aren’t going to make it difficult for themselves. They are doing it to make their end goal easier to achieve, they don’t have the moral compass to not do it to someone they know.
The people that do this don’t care about anything but getting what they want, that’s why they’re more than willing to take another persons autonomy away just to get it.
This was my first thought reading this story & explains a lot of his behavior that night and after.
Either way, I would never feel safe around him again if I were OP. And you absolutely should not stay in a relationship with someone like that.
I want op to know, statistically - if it wasn’t your boyfriend that drugged you, it is highly likely to be one of his friends. It’s actually statistically highly unlikely to have been literally anyone else.
This happens OFTEN.
Judging by the fact he wasn’t seeming worried and like he had no idea what was happening to you etc… like a normal reaction would be to someone looking terrified and that it took him being told to take you the the er…
I really really hope you can see this op…
I also want to add, if he was downplaying your situation to the driver as you being drunk then it would make sense the driver would say that. I just gave birth in the back of a taxi and didn’t get charged a penny… because NORMAL people when they say “help me get to the hospital” focus on saving that persons life… not the cleanliness of the car… your boyfriend is suspicious op…
For this, I’ll quote something I read somewhere on Reddit that I think paints a good picture of this kind of situations:
Say you had a REALLY good meal but you dropped some shit on it. You won’t say, “but it’s still a REALLY good meal even with shit in it” and still eat it. You’d think it’s gross cause you don’t know where else the shit touched and contaminated so you throw it away.
A real kind man wouldn’t have a large exception attached to that description. Like, sure a kind man doesn’t have to be perfect, but with your bf being “a kind man *that treats his partner terribly*”, like, that sounds like a really big chunk of shit in your meal.
And yuck, a friend group that jokes about you being drugged sounds like a group that won’t take care of you if shit happens again.
The funny part is that he used to talk about how he could and would protect me when we first met. Mostly because I have an ex that won’t leave me alone and threatened to end me, meaning I’m very much on edge and scared at times. Now, 3 years later, my bf will agrue for why the messages (from my ex) aren’t spesific for me (but rather sent to multiple girls), instead of making sure I feel safe.
>funny part is he used to talk about how he could and would protect me when we first met.
This is not surprising. It’s VERY easy to talk oneself up and make empty promises, especially in the beginning when he’s trying to impress you. Literally anyone can do that. But now you know for sure his words don’t line up with his actions.
Feeling safe with your partner sounds like an important quality you seek in a partner, and rightfully so given your history. I’m so sorry but this guy doesn’t seem to fit that very reasonable requirement.
I feel bad for you because you think so little of yourself that you stay with this absolute, complete asshole. I wonder what happened in your life that you think you deserve nothing better.
Your boyfriend’s behavior is not normal or acceptable. He put your life at risk by refusing to pay for the taxi and trying to walk you to the emergency room when you were unconscious. He also showed no concern for your well-being, your feelings, or your safety. He made jokes about you being drugged, ignored you when you felt threatened, and argued with you when you were scared. He also tried to blame you for the incident and make you feel guilty for the money he spent.
You could have died and he didn’t care. Do you get that? He literally doesn’t care if you die or if you were raped. Dump him or choose to be miserable.
There is nothing normal or ok about this situation. Adverse reactions can make one's heart go into cardiac arrest, or vomit will unconscious and aspirate it into their lungs. A drugged person is in dire trouble, and people just LEFT?
Even if he stayed with you, which by the sounds of it was HUUUUGE effort on his part, this person sounds like they took the entire situation to be an annoyance rather than an emergency.
OP, take your bf out of the equation and put in a random person of any age. Had this random person done this to you, how mad would you be? Don't let feelings cloud judgement here- it's factually not safe.
Be cautious and don't hang out with any of them anymore. He lied and drugged you and bitched because you wanted to go to the emergency room. Don't get drugged and sold next time because his friends are probably in on it and sex trafficking is REALLY everywhere
Went to the ER for racing heart this week.
My bf drove me (because I refused ambulance) and stayed in the /waiting room/ with me for 14 hours 8PM-10AM and an additional 5 hours after I was seen for them to say 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️ and send me home.
He wasn’t mad.
Get a new boyfriend.
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Well now you know your worth to him, something less than 200 dollars. If you think you are worth more, you know what to do.
Sounds like $40 is even pushing it
As someone else in the comments points out, he also asked for it back. Their words were "she's worth a temporary loan of 40 dollars"
Not even the $40. Apparently she's not even worth his time because he is willing to help a female friend get home safely but not her. OP open your eyes and see the truth.
But he is a kind man apart from this! /s
And he would never hurt her...except when she literally was hurting and he increased her discomfort.
Yeah .. it was warning. She didn't even end up throwing up..
> is this relationship worth it? No He’s a selfish self involved man with no compassion and it doesn’t sound like he cares about you at all
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This reminds me of a very recent case here in Brazil - a very very drunk girl was put on an uber by her friends and called her brother to say she was on her way home. Note: she was unconscious. When the uber arrived, her brother was asleep or smth, the uber rang the doorbell for 15 minutes and nobody answered, so he left her unconscious on the sidewalk and left. A stranger passing by (about four minutes after the uber left) took the girl os his back and walked until an empty place, raped her and left her there. You’re lucky your stranger was kind. I feel glad you were safe!
I read about this case! It horrified me! What kind of friend does such a shitty thing like that?
Your friend put you in a Lyft by yourself after they thought you had too much to drink?!
Right, what a shitty friend!
right? that's not a friend:/
Your crappy friends didn’t call your husband and warn him that you were in trouble?
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Still some crappy friends. No way I’m sending anyone I remotely care about alone in a Lyft in a compromised position. Who cares if your husband was notified you could’ve been killed or badly injured and he only would’ve known after the fact.
I had a coworker I met literal hours before at a company party get a little too blasted. I rode with her to the hotel in an Uber, made sure she’s in her room safe, then rode back to the party. I’ve never thought I did anything extraordinary or outside of what any other person would’ve done until reading this thread…are we not doing girl code anymore?! In the year of the Barbie movie?! Wild.
The problem was they left you alone in a Lyft. I NEVER get in a Lyft or Uber alone without sending ALLLL the details to at least two people. Driver, license plate, real-time route... NOT blaming you at all -- your friends were really irresponsible.
I hope you notified Lyft. Driver should be fired.
obtainable punch point pot frighten frame pie cover tap long *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I once passed out from a chair at a party and hit my forehead hard on a wooden floor. I think I was seizing a little as I woke up to me grinding my nose on a carpet. I later asked my friends what they did to help me and one guy said, "I tried to kick you over." I realized then that these people weren't my friends. They did nothing. I ended up with a concussion that gave me severe pain and double vision and rug rash on my nose. I left that group a little later.
fertile frightening grab person cow rock spoon fade bewildered upbeat *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
This is how you end up hearing those stories about people on the news. Pure negligence. Some people just don’t care about others. 😒
And even if he isn’t those two things and he genuinely make a series of very bad calls then he’s so terminally stupid that he should not reproduce. Not for nothing, file FOIA request from the police and ask if they have dash or vest footage from when the drove up on you and ask for their description of what happened in the car. I really wonder why if he said he’d carry you to your destination the police found him with you lying on the ground. Was he going to leave you? Assault you? Something else?
Girl... he was risking you for 200 bucks. I guess money are more valuable than you in his eyes. After his talk about money... do not stay with him. And his friends. They made fun of life tgreatening situation.... what are the chances they did not spice up your drink...? For fun or even stupid tiktok? leave them and do not look back
Let’s put it this way - I’ve done more to help a passed out stranger than your own boyfriend did to help you.
Not trying to one up you here, but I think I have too. This dude just lacks basic human decency.
i think we ALL have..... why is he even still OP's bf after that??
Can confirm. Several of us who are just decent human beings have done more to help a stranger in a bar than OP's bf did. He doesn't deserve a significant other.
back in college, my girlfriend & i went on a partybus w a group. We drank before & she was so drunk, we got kicked out of the bar 5 min in. We had no cash & no ride home, since the partybus wasnt coming back for hours. I layed her down on the sidewalk, & a taxi offered us a ride. I told the guy i didnt have any money & even this stranger knew he couldnt leave us. He drove us quite a ways to another friends house, AFTER the first house we went to didnt answer 😬 & my drunk friend puked all over his taxi on the way there. Do you know what this stranger did?? He helped carry my friend up the stairs & inside the house. Then made sure we were comfortable & safe staying there. That was a complete stranger. I really hope karma made it back around to repay this guy ❤️
Bless that taxi driver! What a great person. Glad you were both helped in your time of need!
I'm willing to bet a lot of money that that taxi driver was a parent. That sounds like the behaviour of a dad who's thinking, "If this was my kid, I'd sure as hell want someone to take care of them the way I'm gonna take care of these two." I really hope with you that the universe gave back to him. People like that deserve the best.
when i was a bartender, drinks were almost NEVER alone. first date and need the restroom?? drink came behind my bar with me need to take a phone call? drinks with me. Same goes for men's drinks as well.
I hope your patrons took good care of you
You’re a good person, thank you!
What a good soul you are.
Hats off!
The first time I helped a drunk stranger was in the 90's, I was about 5-6 yo, playing with my older sister and our friend. Found a drunk guy who was passed out. We flagged down the closest adult, ran home to get our parents and phone the emergency number (no one had cellphones back then, not in our area at least). Three kids under 10 had better sense than OP's, presumably adult, boyfriend. It was far from the last time, as teens that was one of the golden rules for going out: Always look out for each other, and never leave anyone behind (or leave the group to go off on your own). Then I worked as a bartender for a while, so it came with the job.
Its kinda sad that strangers have to help people in bars so often. Jesus.
He sounds like a user. He wants all the relationship perks without any of the work. He can't even be asked to emotionally support his GF. Deplorable human being.
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There actually was a case of a woman who shot her husband in the head when he was sleeping.... but didn't kill him. He woke, thought he was having an aneurysm and asked his wife to drive him to the hospital. He reported afterwards (when the whole thing came to light) that it seemed like she was taking forever to get ready and then purposely took wrong turns and drove slow as fuck. I wish I could link to the exact story but it was some time ago (it was also a Mr. Ballen episode on YouTube and he does a great job covering it)
Idk if it is just a similiar case but Sheila Davaloo told husband she wants to play a game where he closes his eyes and guess with what she is touching him...and she stabbed him twice. He asked her to uncuff him, call the ambulanse and she uncuffed him but lied about calling for help. Finally she drove him to ER (like 1hour later), stabbed him again near medical center in the parking lot. Finally some strangers saw this, called 911 and he was saved.
I saw this as well. It was in a Netflix true crime video.
I had the same thought. Especially the part where he said “oh I could have been drugged too and maybe I was”.. that’s *not* a normal reaction to the situation at all
This stood out as hugely suspicious to me. OP would be wise to not rule this out as possible.
This. Was it mostly male friends? He only intervened when a bartender saw you weren’t okay and told him to take you to the ER in a cab. Wtf. It sounds like he was trying to drug you and have fun with his friends. Leave now.
That's a horrible thought, but damn if it doesn't fit what happened here
This is the part that befuddled me. It's late though, so I though maybe I misread the article somehow... Thanks for confirming I didn't... WTF
I thought the same thing reading this. Like, you’ve got someone who appears dosed with an unknown substance in an unknown quantity. I would have called a fucking *ambulance* which costs two *thousand* dollars and this guy is tripping about a taxi fare and possible cleaning fee? Like holy shit, this was a potential life or death situation, and assuredly an attempted sexual assault. Who the fuck is this clownshoe?
Perhaps he’s the one that drugged her; it’d make more sense from his perspective if he knew she wasn’t seriously injured as he knew what he gave her. Have any fights with your partner about your sex life before this?
This was the first thought that popped into my mind!! For the reason you stated but also because he was talking about maybe being drugged himself. Sounded like a big cover up to me. So it was either one of his friends with him knowing about it or he drugged her himself. But.. no matter who did it.. the bf is an inconsiderate piece of crap. Op should see this as a lucky eye opener about what to expect from him in the future and as a chance at a quick escape.
I very much suspect he's the one that drugged her.
This is the question!!
This is not relevant here, but: An ambulance should not cost two thousand dollars!! I live in Finland, where it does cost something, but it’s 25 euros, which is about 27 US dollars. You shouldn’t have to think if you can afford care.
Oh, yeah I’m the US and everything costs money and the amount it costs is proportional to how valuable it is to the consumer. So if you’re severely injured and need an ambulance they can really gouge you. I think the only reason we haven’t done that with the fire department yet is because if your house burns down then you’re probably broke. Another fucked up thing is that the EMTs, drivers, and paramedics hardly get paid shit given the work they do.
That’s the shit that pisses me off. I’m a nurse and part of my job is to help people facilitate negotiating lower rates for their ambulance ride claims. $2,000 is spot on. Unless you are in good old NY, like me, and they charge that plus a “NEW YORK SERVICE CHARGE FEE”. Most ambulances are out of network too it’s nuts so it really screws people over even with insurance. The worst part is that money is paid by the patient directly to the ambulance provider and in no way goes to the emergency responders who are doing all the work. I hate this garbage healthcare system it’s designed to fuck over every one but the patient worst of all.
God, this made me remember watching a video of a woman desperately *begging* bystanders not to call an ambulance because she couldn't afford it, despite her *leg having just been crushed* (by a train, I believe). It was so devastating that thinking about it still makes me tear up.
I totally agree. Our healthcare system is totally broken, and the people who could fix it don't want to because they're making too much money from it!
UK here, free at the point of use. We pay taxes but you don't need to pay for an ambulance like you would a taxi or chauffeur driven car
My dad had to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance once and he later got a bill for His part, meaning what was left after insurance paid and it was $14,000 USD. You can only be sick or have a medical emergency if you are rich here. I had to have my gallbladder removed in emergency surgery and they had to keep me 2 extra days for observation, it was 3 times it’s normal size and full of stones. My portion of my bill was just under $35,000.
I personally think it’s more than that. Was he the one who drugged her? Or did he know who did it? He sounds like he acted really weird. Something’s either wrong with him, or this isn’t his first rodeo.
100% agree with this comment. I've helped more strangers. Are you still with him? You're in a life altering moment where you've been drugged and he's concerned about the $40 taxi he just paid? If it was my loved one, I'd become more concerned about if they were going to survive being drugged. Op is your life worth more than a man not willing to pay $200 to save your life? I'm so glad that you're okay!
I've done more to help completely conscious strangers that weren't in medical emergencies than OP's boyfriend did to help her during an emergency.
I’ve done more to help a spider live even though I hate having to deal with them, than OPs boyfriend did for her.
To be perfectly honest I’ve done more for a person that I don’t even like, just out of human decency
Ive done more to help people i hate.
Yup
Enough said. You can’t prevent shitty situations from happening, best you can do is live and learn. It so happens that the only time in my life I went through something similar was also early 20s, partying with a group of friends, and had a few sips off of a female friend’s drink. Suffice to say that next day was not a typical hangover, thankfully our friends did not lose our sight, but one moment I was dancing and the next I was in my kitchen staring at a tuna sandwich. Since then it’s only longnecks at the club with my thumb blocking it, if I lose sight of my drink for whatever reason, I lose that drink.
Same. I've done more for people I love and even friends than he did for someone he's supposed to really care about. OP you say he cares more for his other friends than you...that would be enough for me to leave. You're a filler until he finds someone else.
Are we sure it wasn't the bf that drugged her in the first place? 🤔
Dump him. He put a price on your life, & apparently, it's a max of $40
Nah, he wants the $40 back. So really, her life is worth a temporary loan for $40 to him.
Key word here— loan. Fuck this guy
Not even that. She paid for his drinks that night!
My bf regularly spends more than that just to buy me dinner
I still can't believe he walked her home instead of getting her a taxi... on him of course!
Have him 40.00 and tell him to have a nice life.
OP, I hope you see this. The week I met my (now) husband, I got drugged at the bar where I'd gone to see a drag show with some co-workers. I let my guard down because I thought I was safe, given the atmosphere. I had met my husband less than a week before this. He didn't go with us that night. But as I, unknowingly, texted him in the early morning hours, he became concerned with how i seemed "off." He called off work (Losing money and his hourly rate would have equaled a couple hundred too), Came to my hotel room (BTW my work adventure had me out of state for a few weeks so I had NO ONE I knew well near me) and he convinced me to go to the hospital. I remember NOTHING of this, except a brief glimpse of me walking out to meet him at his car and then next thing in the hospital room. Not only did he stay by me through the hospital visit and the vomiting from the "just in case" meds approximately SIX DAYS after we met, but he also drove me back to the hotel, kept watch over me, and encouraged me to try to eat (food he paid for). We were essentially strangers. He has never once complained about any of that. So.... ditch the BF is what I'm saying.
He sounds like a great guy, you should marry him.
I did 😊. Our 5 year wedding anniversary is in 2 months!
Omg that’s so sweet I’m crying! You’re very lucky, and I’m so glad you have someone like that around you, totally deserved<3 This is how I wished he would react to my situation ngl. Thinking that you only knew each other for 6 days at that point, and I’ve been together with mine for 3 YEARS.. it’s difficult to ignore the differences
My partner once saw a girl that was very drunk to the point she was struggling. He noticed some guys were bothering her so he got her a taxi and paid for it to get her home away from the situation. He didn't know her. Please don't stay with someone that treats you like your current partner, because he isn't acting like one.
Honey, I hate to be that guy, but….is it possible that your BF drugged you? The ambulance he totally called but “wouldn’t come” because you were unconscious? The refusal to take the taxi “just in case” you threw up? Only getting a ride after the cops came? It just sounds to me like he was doing everything in his power to delay you going to the ER and hoping you could “walk it off.” Maybe he didn’t think it would effect you so badly?
And there are so many men out there like this. Yours is a lemon. Dump him. Also I'm so sorry you were drugged - that's terrifying, and I hope you are doing alright.
GIRL WHAT?! 3 YEARS?? And this is how he treats you??? God imagine having kids with this guy and him not believing you if something is wrong??? dump the mother fucker already!
your husband is a gem, wow. that’s love
Wow, what a great human being your husband is. I wish you two a really happy marriage!
READ THIS OP!!
My sister in christ, why do you even have to ask? You know he's a shitbag and its not worth it.
Cause she wants someone to justify his actions and validate her feelings for him.
bingo. how is he a kind man after all that?
Girl, first of, I’m sorry this happened to you… and I’m sorry your bf is terribly unconcerned. At the time and after that night, it’s basic decency to be worried about you. It’s fucking scary….but it seemed like he doesn’t even care at ALL. If this is bothering you, then i guess you know the answer yourself. Take good care of yourself babe.
Girl run.
Had a similar ex, who refused to pay a small bill for my care. My mother is also like this, to the extent in which my sister almost died from septic shock because she didn't want to burden my mother with the hospital bill despite that she had a 106 degree fever and fatally low blood pressure. My family has millions saved but make us feel like shit if we ever go to the hospital and drop $1000, regardless of how close we are to dying. Drop this man and run.
That is just wow.. I don’t have words honestly. I’m so sorry that your sister had to even question getting the help she needed. You should NEVER feel guilty to get the help you need!! And yeah… after reading these comments, it seems like the only logical thing to do
Sis the way you feel about her story, is the way we also feel about your story. Shocked and appalled.
Now take that same compassion and point it back at yourself love! Tell him goodbye!
Yeah, anyone who is willing to risk someone's life because they're worried about the bill is imo a fucked up person. I'd spend all my savings on a friend, even if it was a false alarm.
Well, how do you think that they were able to save those millions? 😂 Seriously though, my mom was the same way I never even saw a dentist in my life until I was 20 years old and took myself. This, despite the fact that we have medical cards that fully covered both medical and dental throughout our childhoods. When I was 14 I broke several small bones in my left hand. It was fucking agonizing, my hand was a good four times its size, purple and black bruising. My mom dismissed it as being broke. For a week, seven days, I lived with this excruciating pain. I wouldn't even sleep at night because I was terrified of rolling over on my hand or bumping it against something in my sleep. I finally got the idea of going to the school nurse, who called my mom and suggested that I be taken to the doctor. I knew that was the only way she'd do it because she didn't want to get turned into social services and get herself in trouble or inconvenienced. They had to give me milk of amnesia to manipulate the bones back to where they needed to be before putting the cast on. Then she kept my pain pills for herself. Wouldn't give not one of them. Good times, good times.
Leave him immediately. He not only jeopardized your life, he guilted you about it and then let his friends make fun of you for it. Cut them all out.
Ikr This isn't just a mistake that he made drunkenly not knowing what to do. He literally just didn't care, shamed op, and had "friends" shame op... wtf. Dude if one of my friends told me his gf was drugged the previous night I'd be "omg is she ok? You did what? Wtf is wrong with you?"
I wonder if one of his friends was the one that drugged her
I think HE drugged her, and that's why he's so mad.
Or he did it himself
Why are you with this guy? Seriously if your best friend or sister was telling you this story you would tell them to get out so why you allowing this?
Why didn’t they just call an ambulance? It doesn’t seem like your BF has very good judgment. And neither do any of the people you were hanging out with.
Well he did, but he told them I was conscious, because I managed to answer a question or two at some point, so then they didn’t want to come and get me. His friends actually left when this happened to me, and that also struck me as weird.
A person's friends tell you a lot about them. Not only did he completely fail you, he hangs out with people that don't care enough to take care of someone who's obviously unwell and then joke about you being drugged. That says a lot.
I’d wager it was one of the friends who drugged OP in the first place.
I wouldn't be surprised. In uni, I had a friend who got absolutely crazy drunk, starting hallucinating, and got kicked out of the club. We all thought he had just drunk too much. It turned out a friend of a friend at our pre drinks party had drugged him! We never figured out what it was, but the other guy just said he thought it would be funny. Absolutely disgusting.
im so jaded that i would not be surprised the boyfriend was involved in some aspect. Would explain his reluctantance to spend any effort to get her immediately to the hospital. Some power kink to knock her out gone wrong. Any bets how long it takes for him to start blaming OP?
Wtf is wrong with those people? Who leaves someone alone after they're clearly drugged? I wouldn't even leave a stranger like that without at least calling an ambulance or cops and waiting with them. This has Red flags all over! Sounds like someone in that group is responsible for OP being drugged. The fact bf wasn't so worried about OP is setting off alarms for me. Im sorry, but bf and/or at least his friends have something to do with this Especially, since they joked about OP being drugged. I would love for someone to explain to me how the hell that is funny at all? Anyone who finds that humorous is beaming with alerts
>Who leaves someone alone after they're clearly drugged? People who drug others and get caught
OP, hopefully with a police report you’re able to ask for the security cam footage. The fact they left AND made jokes of you getting drugged is SUS
BINGO.
Seriously. Even literal psychopaths who weren’t responsible would probably be curious enough to hang out and see if anything interesting happened.
Yeah… these people aren’t safe
I 100% agree with you on that! I’m seeing red flags 🚩 everywhere!
When something like this happens to a complete stranger you stick around until they're safely on their way. You don't crowd around, but you stay there until the ambulance arrives.
It’s possible one of his friends was the one who drugged you.
I was thinking the same thing. They probably thought it would be “funny” (considering they joked about it the next day), and then they left after she was unwell ‘cause they didn’t want to deal with the consequences.
It’s possible, even likely, that *he* was the one that drugged her. He’s the one who would’ve “benefited” from her being in that state. He was pissed about the money because his idea to “loosen her up” didn’t work out as planned. I wouldn’t be surprised if he did it to make her easier to abuse by him and his friends. He’s obviously a bad person, but I have a feeling his intentions were much darker.
I actually think this may be the case as well. It sounds like he failed to call an ambulance, maybe intentionally or maybe not. He may have called and then cancelled the response partway through the call, but I have my doubts about that. And then he wanted to partake in being victimized while forcing her to walk home. Based on his and his friends’ behavior during and following this traumatic event, it appears they may have been a part of it.
Yep exactly. All I know is that if my wife got drugged while she was out with me I’d be livid. Forget worrying about money, I’d make sure she was ok and at the hospital and right after I’d be looking for the person that did this to her. I’d be calling all of my friends, the bartenders, the bouncers, everyone, asking if they saw anything suspicious. His reaction is wayyy off. It’s like he sees getting drugged as no big deal. The only people who think like that are the ones who drug people.
To further this, get tested for rape (stds prego). I wouldn’t trust this guy or his friends alone with you. If you are still unsure OP, listen to the comments - this is the start to a horror story, not a date. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/1561a9z/my_boyfriend_and_his_friends_have_a_monthly_game/) r/nosleep it’s literally exactly your scenario.
Yeah not sure where they live but even though ambulances are hella expensive in the US, they will come for any reason. They won’t just say “oh she’s conscious? Nevermind.” That sounds made up.
Not only possible but also most likely. You are more likely to be preyed on by someone you know.
That’s what I was thinking too.
Hi, ER nurse, I worked on an ambulance for 3 years. I can tell you that’s bs. Because when you call 911, it doesn’t matter if you’re conscious and can answer a few questions, they don’t just say eh she’s fine we’re not coming. I doubt he called at all. Someone experiencing a syncopal episode and unable to walk, going in and out of consciousness is not someone who would be ignored. Girl, he probably didn’t call.
Agreed. My son once called 911 accidentally as a toddler. I realized it and spoke to the dispatcher and explained what happened, and she said it was their policy to send someone, regardless. Many years ago I called due to what turned out to be a panic attack and the firemen and EMTs showed up, and asked if I wanted to go to the hospital. The hopefully-soon-to-be-ex boyfriend’s story doesn’t make sense. OP needs to run.
Panic attacks legit feel like a heart attack. Thankfully I've only had one doctor kind of roll his eyes; the rest were compassionate.
I once mixed too many cleaning products and made some gas and inhaled it. I stumbled back into my bedroom and called 911. But getting away from the fumes and into another room cleared my head, so I ended the call before speaking to anyone. 15-20 minutes later there were 6 police cars near my house. They asked if anyone called the police. I told them I had but I’m okay now.
Hi, EMT here. Yeah no, he never called. If you call 911 they don't just say yeahhhh, sorry we're not coming. They have to 100% come NO MATTER WHAT. If someone was feeling sick, but completely alert and conscious and called the ambulance themselves, the EMTs/paramedics still have to go and treat/transport that person. There's no scenerio I can even think of where an ambulance wouldn't come because even prank calls they send someone out to make sure everything is okay and it's not a DV situation or worse where someone was caught in the middle of calling. OP, your bf and his friends have something to do with this!!!! Please get away as soon as possible.
This makes more sense to me ngl. I was very confused about the fact that the ambulance didn’t come, and I got really mad thinking about all the people in danger not getting help. But it was SO weird that they didn’t come considering the police that drove me, they drove with blue lights and took it VERY seriously??? Hate to say this but: The one thing he told me he would do differently about that night was to get the ambulance to come, making it seem like he actually could have gotten them there if he had said the right things? Like it was a choice made by him
Not “if he said the right things.” “If he had bothered to make the call at all.” Think about that. If he had made the call, had even talked to a person, an ambulance would’ve shown. Instead he lied to you about calling, pretended like he called, just to force you to WALK once you got worse. And you’ve been together 3 years. Please trust yourself and your value to know that a life alone is better than a life with him. Ngl I felt like Reddit was running wild w conspiracy theories but between your comments about sex being difficult, him complaining and guilting you about sex, him lying about calling 911, his friends all leaving, everyone making fun of you like getting drugged is a joke, complaining about a small expense & implying you should pay him back, weird comments about “maybe I was drugged too”, like ALL OF IT, I really do think he and/or his friends did this to you and he knows it. It’s not too late to turn it around though. Your past doesn’t have to be your future.
Exactly. That is 100% complete and utter bullshit. No way would the paramedics ever decline to respond to a call. It did not happen, period.
Or he either knew about it or thought it was one of his friends and opted to protect them over OPs health. Leave him, as others have said, I have done more for complete strangers. What if the police didn’t happen to see you?
After hearing that, makes me wonder if the boyfriend is the one who drugged her.
His unwillingness to do anything to actually help her and his complaints about the money makes it verrrrryyyy sus…
‼️‼️If he was complaining about $40 for a taxi, can you imagine how much he would bitched about an ambulance ride? HE DID NOT CALL AN AMBULANCE. ‼️‼️
I come from a family of first responders and my BF is a paramedic so I know the 911 system well. Your consciousness level has nothing to do with whether an ambulance comes or not & a 911 call taker can’t make that determination. You call for any medical situation, the ambulance gets dispatched and only when someone with medical training physically evaluates you is it determined whether you go to the hospital or not. Given your state, you’d never be able to refuse medical care so they would have taken you. My boyfriend has literally been called out for silly things that are a waste of resources but because it came through the EMS side as a “medical emergency” he had to go. Yours never called 911 and is telling you a story to cover up for his lack of concern or care for your state. If I were you, I’d run out of this supposed relationship as fast as I could and never look back. You deserve someone who would have made it a point to get you the care you needed.
That seems strange, an ambulance is supposed to come if you call them, I feel like maybe he was hiding something from you. Also him and his friends are pieces of shit. Leave now and never look back.
Agreed. No ambulance would make that decision, the liability would be HUGE. His friends did this and he knows it.
This. Even if they think that you do not require transport via the ambulance, they still come to assess the person before making that call.
I agree! I can’t imagine a scenario where someone is in and out of consciousness, and the EMTs decide nope, she’s all good.
One of the friends might have drugged you… I’d be very cautious around them
It's incredibly weird of an ambulance to refuse a call, no matter what, they're supposed to come evaluate the person at least, and then that person can decline going to the hospital if they'd like. But for them to be like, "nah, she sounds fine, good luck tho" is just really fishy to me.
Ya something’s missing here- that’s a liability- EMT/paramedic has to make that call on scene and patient has to sign that they’re not interested in care..
Cut everyone off. They are not safe to be around. Especially your boyfriend who doesn't give a shit for you, AND allows his friends to make jokes about your experience
If you were my friend, it wouldn't matter if I had to wrack up a credit card to get cash. I'd even be calling my whole phone book or asking management about an emergency ride. Any reasonable human will look after another, especially when something like a drugging happens. Up until they are okay or the qualified people are there. The jaded in me wants to say your bfs friends drugged you as a joke and then dipped when they got scared. That's why it wasn't a big deal to your bf. Or, he could just be that dense. But overall honey, he's shown he can't be trusted when things get serious or you aren't able to advocate for yourself. Imagine it wasn't just a daterape drug. Imagine it was something even more hazardous that could've poisoned you. You couldn't know, but that would've been his same reaction. He might be trusted for mundane life, but his actions prove he can not be trusted for real life. He has proved he is not safe for long-term life, if you were to be injured in an accident or something equally horrible, would you be able to trust him to actually be there and take care of you when you can't yourself. That is a big question when it comes to a life partner. You should probably look at therapy for yourself and end the relationship. You deserve someone who'd move the heavens and earth to make sure you were okay. Not complain about the price of a taxi. To him, your life and well-being aren't even worth $200, let alone the $40 he's complaining about. You are a priceless individual, no dollar should be counted when it comes to guaranteeing a loved ones safety.
An ambulance wouldn't decline to pick someone up if they're conscious and they suspect drugging or even alcohol poisoning; or even another medical issue. Many people are conscious when picked up by an ambulance and brought in. This whole story seems weird now...
Ewww. He's an asshole and his friends are shallow. This guy is bad news and so are his friends.
Your boyfriends friends leaving is more than weird, it’s actually suspicious.
What country are you in? If an ambulance is called in the US, they come, regardless if you are conscious or not. If my leg got chopped off I could definitely answer a question or two, that doesn't mean an ambulance wouldn't come.
I once called the ambulance for a friend with alcohol poisoning. They came with this crazy stretcher thing that held her upright. I don't think the ambulance wouldn't want to pick you up. This sounds fishy. Look at his call log and see if he called 911.
So he lied to the ambulance (if he even called them).
“ other than that” that being risking you dying over 200 bucks yeah,he doesn’t love you and I’m sorry to say I’m not sure he likes you, what a terrible man . Run 🏃♀️ girl don’t look back
Didn’t insist the ambulance come 🚩 Made you WALK when you were barely conscious 🚩 Friends left and then joked about it 🚩 Tried to make you pay him $40 for the taxi when you were experiencing a medical emergency 🚩 Tried to make it about him 🚩 Ignored you when someone was following you 🚩 Idk if you had a near death experience but I’ve heard that calming feeling is something you feel when you’re close to dying. He said fuck no to $200 and insisted you walk. It took police to notice something was wrong and take you. Did they say what was in your system? Some drugs that are used to roofie are over the counter like Benadryl. Him forcing you to walk back with shaky legs after you experienced a horrible near death experience shows he lacks maturity and empathy. You may see the good times but he almost got you killed. Him arguing when you’re scared and all of this behavior towards you is abuse. It may not be clear cut all the time but his handling of ALL of this is not normal.
He does not like you and certainly doesn’t love you. I’ve dated a guy similar. It’s best to get out now then having to go through several more scary, messed up instances like this to realize the truth
I’m not usually one of those “just throw the whole man out” people but this is a pretty despicable reaction to you being drugged and hospitalized. He is NOT worth it. You’re NOT overreacting. This is a dump-able offense. It’s pretty obvious this guy doesn’t care about you at all, and you deserve better than that.
# WHY HAVENT YOU DUMPED THIS MAN??? Please love yourself more.
[удалено]
There is a small, but not negligible percentage of men who will date and even marry women they literally have never liked. It seems like you found one.
> Other than that he’s a kind man You mean “Other than the fact that he cares more about *potentially* losing $240 over his GF’s life?” “Other than the fact that he and his friends thinks it’s funny that you got roofied and could have been raped?” “Other than the fact that he thinks you being scared of assault is annoying and you should just shut up and stop bothering him about it, but if one of his female friends expresses the same fear he leaps up to help them no questions asked?” How is *any* of that the behavior a kind person would do? Your BF absolutely isn’t a kind person, he’s just willing to be *nice* to you when it’s *convenient* for him. The moment he finds your feelings/safety inconvenient then the nice act drops.
How many red flags do you need OP?
I hate to say this, but it’s possible he doped your drink, then panicked when you got more drugged than he wanted you to be.
The fact his friends all got up and left when they found out she was drugged also says a lot
Hadn’t thought about this but could make sense, his behavior is so off and the friends’ nonchalance/joking makes it seem a strong possibility
This was my first thought, he probably did it and didn’t think it would go the way it did and he was inconvenienced because he didn’t get what he wanted. Guy sounds like a walking red flag. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. I would pay way more than $200 to save almost any human, but definitely those I love. This guy doesn’t care about you and actually may be trying to harm you.
it would explain a lot, like his reluctance to get help could come from fear of self-incrimination, complaining about money could stem from internal guilt. It’s not likely, but it is a possibility. A reddit post doesn’t give any evidence to this assumption sure, as it also doesn’t give any evidence to anything at all. Life experience does though, I have seen people close to each drug each other for all sorts of stupid reasons, and that’s only the small fraction that got caught, it scares me to wonder how many people might get away with it. From fly spray in weed to methanol laced or spiked drinks to hot shots and every chemical in between.
It’s actually statistically the most likely scenario. Most women who get “spiked” it’s by the person they go to the bar with or someone in their group to begin with.
well that is just outright scary
Knowing these things is just the reality of being a woman. Watching your drink around EVERYONE is so important. Especially in new friendship groups/relationships. The people that are willing to drug another person aren’t going to make it difficult for themselves. They are doing it to make their end goal easier to achieve, they don’t have the moral compass to not do it to someone they know. The people that do this don’t care about anything but getting what they want, that’s why they’re more than willing to take another persons autonomy away just to get it.
Yep, was just wondering how much he paid for the $h_t he put in your drink.
This is exactly what happened. And he probably lied to the cab driver and said you were just drunk and you got kicked out.
This was my first thought reading this story & explains a lot of his behavior that night and after. Either way, I would never feel safe around him again if I were OP. And you absolutely should not stay in a relationship with someone like that.
I want op to know, statistically - if it wasn’t your boyfriend that drugged you, it is highly likely to be one of his friends. It’s actually statistically highly unlikely to have been literally anyone else. This happens OFTEN. Judging by the fact he wasn’t seeming worried and like he had no idea what was happening to you etc… like a normal reaction would be to someone looking terrified and that it took him being told to take you the the er… I really really hope you can see this op… I also want to add, if he was downplaying your situation to the driver as you being drunk then it would make sense the driver would say that. I just gave birth in the back of a taxi and didn’t get charged a penny… because NORMAL people when they say “help me get to the hospital” focus on saving that persons life… not the cleanliness of the car… your boyfriend is suspicious op…
For this, I’ll quote something I read somewhere on Reddit that I think paints a good picture of this kind of situations: Say you had a REALLY good meal but you dropped some shit on it. You won’t say, “but it’s still a REALLY good meal even with shit in it” and still eat it. You’d think it’s gross cause you don’t know where else the shit touched and contaminated so you throw it away. A real kind man wouldn’t have a large exception attached to that description. Like, sure a kind man doesn’t have to be perfect, but with your bf being “a kind man *that treats his partner terribly*”, like, that sounds like a really big chunk of shit in your meal. And yuck, a friend group that jokes about you being drugged sounds like a group that won’t take care of you if shit happens again.
NOPE!! He’s not a protector AT ALL. And has blatantly made it apparent that he gives 2 shits about you. Get someone who Loves you.
The funny part is that he used to talk about how he could and would protect me when we first met. Mostly because I have an ex that won’t leave me alone and threatened to end me, meaning I’m very much on edge and scared at times. Now, 3 years later, my bf will agrue for why the messages (from my ex) aren’t spesific for me (but rather sent to multiple girls), instead of making sure I feel safe.
>funny part is he used to talk about how he could and would protect me when we first met. This is not surprising. It’s VERY easy to talk oneself up and make empty promises, especially in the beginning when he’s trying to impress you. Literally anyone can do that. But now you know for sure his words don’t line up with his actions.
Feeling safe with your partner sounds like an important quality you seek in a partner, and rightfully so given your history. I’m so sorry but this guy doesn’t seem to fit that very reasonable requirement.
Actions > words Also, [lovebombing](https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a26988344/love-bombing-signs-definition/)
I feel bad for you because you think so little of yourself that you stay with this absolute, complete asshole. I wonder what happened in your life that you think you deserve nothing better.
Never date a man that doesn’t actually like you. DTMFA.
...DTMFA?
Your boyfriend’s behavior is not normal or acceptable. He put your life at risk by refusing to pay for the taxi and trying to walk you to the emergency room when you were unconscious. He also showed no concern for your well-being, your feelings, or your safety. He made jokes about you being drugged, ignored you when you felt threatened, and argued with you when you were scared. He also tried to blame you for the incident and make you feel guilty for the money he spent.
You aren't safe with this person and can't count on him. Dump his ass.
Hate to be this person but......are you certain it wasn't him that drugged you? His response to it all seems sus af
You could have died and he didn’t care. Do you get that? He literally doesn’t care if you die or if you were raped. Dump him or choose to be miserable.
There is nothing normal or ok about this situation. Adverse reactions can make one's heart go into cardiac arrest, or vomit will unconscious and aspirate it into their lungs. A drugged person is in dire trouble, and people just LEFT? Even if he stayed with you, which by the sounds of it was HUUUUGE effort on his part, this person sounds like they took the entire situation to be an annoyance rather than an emergency. OP, take your bf out of the equation and put in a random person of any age. Had this random person done this to you, how mad would you be? Don't let feelings cloud judgement here- it's factually not safe.
You gotta leave. He showed you that you’re not worth more than $200 to him. That’s the lowest insult you can get.
Be cautious and don't hang out with any of them anymore. He lied and drugged you and bitched because you wanted to go to the emergency room. Don't get drugged and sold next time because his friends are probably in on it and sex trafficking is REALLY everywhere
Went to the ER for racing heart this week. My bf drove me (because I refused ambulance) and stayed in the /waiting room/ with me for 14 hours 8PM-10AM and an additional 5 hours after I was seen for them to say 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️ and send me home. He wasn’t mad. Get a new boyfriend.
You know dude would leave you to die in the street for twenty bucks, right?