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"You didn't have opinions before you started dating her" tells you everything you need to know. They are spoiled children who are used to getting their way 100% of the time. They are pissed you're teaching your fiancé to speak up for himself.
It's your future husband's job to keep them in line. If that's impossible, I seriously suggest you elope and have a party later when you can pay for everything. They'll use any means at their disposal to control the wedding because they know it's important to you.
I'd seriously consider postponing the wedding and using the money to move out. If your fiancé suggests going NC with them, do not question his judgement - it sounds like a freaking great idea to me.
Yes, letting them give you money gave them the impression they could control the decision-making. Not cool.
Could you move into your house if absolutely necessary? Or crash with friends? I think you need to get out of their house.
https://captainawkward.com/2019/10/29/we-are-spartacus-open-thread-resources-on-family-estrangement-and-adult-relationships-with-difficult-parents/
Return the money, do what you want for the rehearsal dinner. If they don't like it, that's too bad. Just make sure you and your fiance are on the same page about all of this.
https://captainawkward.com/2019/05/30/its-mothereffing-wedding-season-again-so-lets-chat/
No, they’re controlling and abusive continually manipulating you guys on threatening to kick you out when they don’t get their way. Family does not matter when they are treating you like garbage and family should not be doing that to begin with. If your partner wants to go no contact when you leave then let him, it will bring him peace I can tell you that.
If you want the wedding you guys want then either step up to them and knock their bullshit off or try to get as much as whatever deposits you put down and start again without them. But please realize that just because they’re his parents does not mean they can abusive you both.
The two of you are adults who don’t need their help with the wedding or anything else. If it were me, I would postpone the wedding until after your house is ready and then put on the wedding the way you want without sharing any details with them until one month before. All they would get is the date, time and location. If they show fine if not fine. Your in laws are used to your SO giving in when they start their emotional manipulation. The only way to make them stop is for him to put a stop to it by telling them that he will no longer be manipulated and if they keep it up he will see them much less or not at all. It is his place to put them in their place. If boundaries are set there needs to be clear consequences set along side and strictly enforced. Time out for his parents, like little whiny children throwing fits. The only difference is their age, treat them as such.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"You didn't have opinions before you started dating her" tells you everything you need to know. They are spoiled children who are used to getting their way 100% of the time. They are pissed you're teaching your fiancé to speak up for himself. It's your future husband's job to keep them in line. If that's impossible, I seriously suggest you elope and have a party later when you can pay for everything. They'll use any means at their disposal to control the wedding because they know it's important to you. I'd seriously consider postponing the wedding and using the money to move out. If your fiancé suggests going NC with them, do not question his judgement - it sounds like a freaking great idea to me.
Yes, letting them give you money gave them the impression they could control the decision-making. Not cool. Could you move into your house if absolutely necessary? Or crash with friends? I think you need to get out of their house. https://captainawkward.com/2019/10/29/we-are-spartacus-open-thread-resources-on-family-estrangement-and-adult-relationships-with-difficult-parents/ Return the money, do what you want for the rehearsal dinner. If they don't like it, that's too bad. Just make sure you and your fiance are on the same page about all of this. https://captainawkward.com/2019/05/30/its-mothereffing-wedding-season-again-so-lets-chat/
No, they’re controlling and abusive continually manipulating you guys on threatening to kick you out when they don’t get their way. Family does not matter when they are treating you like garbage and family should not be doing that to begin with. If your partner wants to go no contact when you leave then let him, it will bring him peace I can tell you that. If you want the wedding you guys want then either step up to them and knock their bullshit off or try to get as much as whatever deposits you put down and start again without them. But please realize that just because they’re his parents does not mean they can abusive you both.
The two of you are adults who don’t need their help with the wedding or anything else. If it were me, I would postpone the wedding until after your house is ready and then put on the wedding the way you want without sharing any details with them until one month before. All they would get is the date, time and location. If they show fine if not fine. Your in laws are used to your SO giving in when they start their emotional manipulation. The only way to make them stop is for him to put a stop to it by telling them that he will no longer be manipulated and if they keep it up he will see them much less or not at all. It is his place to put them in their place. If boundaries are set there needs to be clear consequences set along side and strictly enforced. Time out for his parents, like little whiny children throwing fits. The only difference is their age, treat them as such.