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Sometimes human trafficking starts like this. When the girl confront him he can tell pretty lies to try to get you to do keep doing it and if that doesn’t work then use force. most times women in this situation can’t get away.
DO NOT CONFRONT. That is how it gets worse
You are in danger. Get out safely, quietly, unexpectedly
Agreed. I feel like a lot of people associate crimes with the worse, more violent instances of them, but this can be harmful bc it can prevent people from realizing that they’re being victimized.
This is also a pretty big issue with sexual assault: Contrary to what a lot of people think, it doesn’t always have to be violent(e.g. stealthing).
Ah, gotcha, misunderstood your modifier. Since your comment has garnered a lot of upvotes just so people see this I googled it here are some of the ways people get lured into trafficking:
Violence
Manipulation
False promises of well-paying jobs
Romantic relationships
I was almost trafficked in a way I wouldn't have known too, although it wasn't a relationship type thing. Just two random guys I agreed to hang out with while traveling to the south of the US, while staying in a sketchy motel after I went to a bar. I've seen so many people say that this only happens in the US to prostitutes or people already in some kind of sketchy life situation but it absolutely happens in every possible way in the US. The way the op is being trafficked is a common af way too. Often the young girl/young woman has a broken family so there won't be parents to question the new relationship or the parents will be lax and accept it. So many trafficked women started off thinking they were in a relationship. Idk if the op is in the US so I'm just speaking on what I've seen where I live
Exactly. I was almost trafficked by a guy I went to high school with who reached out to my bf and I and offered us a place to stay when we were homeless. Myself and even the girls he had been pimping out didn’t know that they were being trafficked. They thought they were the only one and that he loved them. This Romeo was younger than me. I was in my early 20s. I had run away from home after a fight and publicly disclosed my history of sexual abuse so I had been targeted. It started generations back. None of them even knew. Not until they couldn’t escape and had their souls irreparably damaged. I’ve seen it so often. I live in the Midwestern US in a small town.
That's horrible, I'm so sorry you went through that. This sounds like it's one of the more common ways young women are trafficked, it's heartbreaking. I hope you're okay now
Okay so like I said, it's a pretty long story but I'm shortening it as much as I can while leaving in the relevant stuff.
So I was drunk walking back to my motel room when 2 guys stopped me and started chatting. They seemed cool and wanted to drink more, and I stupidly agreed. I was lonely and going through a traumatic loss. They slipped meth or molly in my drink (not sure which), and at some point hid my phone charger so when my phone died, I couldn't charge it. I had a hard time getting them to leave by morning- I didn't want to be rude- and at one point one of them (the main guy, the other guy was just kind of there and didn't participate much in anything) said he was gonna call a friend to pick them up.
I heard him on the phone (remember, I was drunkish/high on whatever they slipped me) say to his friend "I have a snow bunny ready to go now". I had no idea what this meant but assumed it had nothing to do with me. He had me talk on the phone saying his friend would be quicker to pick them up if he knew there was a girl there. I didn't really know what to make of that and I'm a people pleaser, sooo I just took the phone. Stupid but I wanted to speed things up. I just said hi, he asked my name, nothing seemed that weird.
His "friend" came, and they said he wanted to meet me. At this point I would agree to anything if it got them moving a little faster, so I said okay. It was super weird, he sat across from me at the little table and seemed like he was interviewing me or something. Asked if I had any kids, where I lived, about why I was so far from home, how long I expected to be in town, etc. At some point he asked if I liked hanging out with his friends, and I said something like "yeah but idk why they like hanging out with me so much, I can't be that much fun". It basically ended there and the guy said he'd be out in his car.
The main guy absolutely went off on me after this, saying shit like "you can't say shit like that, you embarrassed me, you don't want to offend that guy because he gets his girls hooked on dope". At this point it kind of hit me what was going on (there was a lot more weird red flags that happened before this that hadn't clicked until now) and realized I needed to get out of there right now.
Guy 1 went out to smoke a cigarette so I tried to calmly gather my stuff- luckily everything was basically in my suit case- and look for my phone charger. I found it up high on top of a shelf I could barely reach and would never have put it up there myself. I needed to stand on a chair on my tippy toes to reach it.
At this point I decide to bolt out the door where I'm met with guy 1. He tries to stop me from leaving but seems like he's restraining himself from grabbing me. He's begging me to not leave, starts saying he's actually in love with me and wants me to come with him somewhere, practically in tears. I'm speed walking to the waffle house that's right next to the motel, same parking lot.
He stops me from going in, saying that if I don't come with him right now to a car, he's going to get shot. He keeps pointing in the direction of the far side of the parking lot saying he'll get shot and begging me to go over there with him "just for a minute"
Obviously at this point I'm terrified and crying and shaking. I get into the waffle house and look for somewhere to charge my phone to get an Uber. He follows me and starts trying to be more forceful about getting me to come with him, looking out of the window all panicked. He gets up and runs back out for a second, when the cook from the back comes out and asks me if I'm okay. I tell him no, I think that guy pimped me out and is trying to make me go with him.
Guy comes back in and is promptly kicked back out by the cook. They almost get in a physical fight, but he agrees to leave when cops are threatened. He starts banging on the windows yelling at me to come out and the cops are called.
Here's the worst part of all of this. A few cops show up, and they talk to him for a minute before coming to talk to me. The cop says that the guy said I'm in his girlfriend but I'm a drug addict and a prostitute, and if they let me leave on my own then I will be back in the street hooking. I wasn't and have never been a prostitute, and was not a drug addict. I tried to tell them what happened and that I was pretty sure he sold me to someone and the man he was trying to take me to was out in the parking lot too. They refused to believe me, kept insisting that I must be a prostitute and that if I just admit to it they'll help me. They didn't believe that I had only just met this guy despite me showing them the tags on my bag from my bus trip down there and my out of state license. They said I could either agree to let them "help" me and admit to being a prostitute, or I could go with my "boyfriend", unless I could have another person pick me up. I was from several states away and only had 1 friend in the area that I couldn't reach for a time. They kept trying to convince me to leave with this guy. Finally my friend picked up and came and got me. Was not impressed with the mess I got myself in to say the least lol.
Also!! The guy found me on fb and messaged me like a year later. I called him out for it and he gave a stupid excuse. A lot of what he says is nonsense but it confirmed to me that I wasn't overreacting and paranoid and that it was really happening as I thought it was. There were a lot of other red flags like I said, but it would make this 10 times longer as is. I don't mind elaborating in another comment though. I also know that I'm an idiot and most people probably wouldn't find themselves in this position, but I was drunk and having a rough time.
Screenshots when he found me on fb- (sorry I can't get imgur to work on my phone)
https://ibb.co/pZSZP3W
https://ibb.co/6tJY7FT
https://ibb.co/52GgM5d
Also to add some notes about the messages- I don't know what he's talking about with the pimp stuff, his "brother" (the other guy with us the whole time) barely said two words to me the whole time. Also, the money on the phone thing, this was before a lot of people were streaming or working from their phones, but I could work remotely so that's how I was affording travel. I didn't realize who was messaging me at first when I responded the first couple times.
Yeah I blocked him and that was that. I couldn't believe he found me on fb so long after the fact! I genuinely started to think I was crazy and maybe overreacted and it wasn't what I thought it was. But looking back it definitely was. I did a lot of looking into it and found out it's along a line of high way that's notorious for trafficking.
Actually I had been warned before going to avoid certain areas of Baton Rouge because there's a lot of prostitution rings, but I ignored the warning because I'm not a prostitute so I figured it wouldn't apply to me. The city I'm from isn't great so I figured I would know what to avoid, but I was wrong.
Tbh it's one of those things that I look back on and shake my head at myself for being so naive and trusting, like what on earth was I thinking. It's the cop thing that scared me the most about it and is one of the main things that put a deep distrust of the police in me. I always talk about it when anything like it comes up though bc too many women believe that if you're not a prostitute, you'll be fine. It makes me wonder how many women they've done this too, or drugged with worse drugs that woke up in a car with it being too late to get away. Scary that it's such a big problem here and everyone kind of assumes it won't happen to them.
Wow this is an amazing story and I really want to make some of my friends read this to their daughters. Unfortunately from other things you've written here apparently that area that you were in was not a great area so although I get you might have a mistrust for cops in general it may very well be that these cops were actually in on the take. They look the other way because eventually they might get to party with their victims. But also once somebody is accused of being a prostitute it's hard to unconvince an officer that they're not. But I have a strong suspicion really that those cops were in on it because they probably knew this guy and the other car pretty well in a small town area.
My ex-wife was approached by a pimp in New York City, Well before we were married at the start of our dating, she traveled by bus to see me at college and He wanted to buy her lunch and feed her over here away from the buses. After she told me about this creepy guy. I'm like you do realize that guy was a pimp right trying to get you for his stable. And his 'name' was Sweet Pea. Needless to say travel went one way for a good amount of time.
I just commented this same thing. I was trying to look up a news article of a story of a cop in CA coercing sex workers (and maybe other women to) to have sex with him.
In looking for that I found a wiki article dedicated to police abuse of sex workers.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Police_abuse_of_sex_workers_in_the_United_States
Some cops will use their position for extortion and racketeering. The good ones really need to have an easier way to weed them out, but I guess that code of silence they have protects the bad ones.
Yeah traveling alone as a woman can be a little risky honestly. Especially if you're not surrounded by that kind of environment, you tend to not even notice red flags bc you don't know what to look for.
And on the cop thing, that's so accurate! This was actually the first of THREE times I've been accused of being a prostitute by a cop. I've never been a prostitute so it's so confusing to me. The second time was a year after this when I reported an SA back in my hometown. The cop found the guy and he told him I was a prostitute. Commit a crime against a woman, claim she's a prostitute, cops believe it and stop caring. He even showed up at my sister's house twice asking her if she was absolutely sure that I wasn't one. I wound up dropping the case bc I was sick of the cop only asking me about that.
The last time was a little more deserved because of where I was, but I was still not a prostitute lol. He had told me that he had heard I was a prostitute and was harassing the hell out of me for a while, convinced I was up to something. I can guess where he heard that from.
My upvote is for sadness that this happened to you. . But really for any woman. It's good you can laugh about that at least a little bit but still it shows a sad bias in the system. I hope it never happens to you again.
It's a very long story and I don't mind typing it up, but there's no real way to shorten it enough that it will make sense. So I will type it up as short as I can, because maybe knowing what can happen will help others. But I also made a lot of really foolish decisions and ignored some red flags because I'm too trusting and didn't believe trafficking happened like that.
Thank you for typing it up. People def need to know about this kind of thing and getting the word out could prevent someone from falling into this trap.
Remember, you did NOT give consent to these interactions. To give consent, you have to have all relevant information. He intentionally withheld the information that he was collecting money. A man who is willing to hide things and lie is a man willing to hide things and lie. On top of that, he was literally selling you. No MAN who actually loves a woman will.lie to her, hide things from her, and sell her body to other men. You have been groomed and manipulated. Healthy men will NOT want to share you with other people. The second he suggested that, you should have run.
He is trafficking you. This has nothing to do with the age-gap, either. There are older men who are healthy and want to date younger for a variety of reasons and there are unhealthy men. You got ont of the unhealthy ones. There are younger men who are also trafficking women. There are also women grooming and trafficking women as well.
If your partner is ever dishonest to you, run. Manipulation requires dishonesty and a person willing to be dishonest is a person willing to he dishonest.
Not sometimes, most to almost all of the time. All those random FB posts white women put up about almost getting snatched from a target parking lot are fake. This is how it happens - charming pimps get involved with and gain the trust of someone innocent who most of the time otherwise have a very crappy life (if not physically, often emotionally) and spoil them and manipulate them into it. She doesn't mention any drugs, which I hope for her sake aren't involved because often it's the addiction that keeps them trapped.
OP, please read these books ASAP:
[Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft](https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf)
[The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker](https://www.academia.edu/31891034/The_Gift_of_Fear)
He never loved you. Not for a second.
He 100% groomed to gain your trust and then he pimped you out. He planned it out and he took money for it every single time.
You need therapy; You need to be educated in how pimps like the pimp you got involved with work so it doesn't happen to you again, and you need therapy of course to get over the fact you've been trafficked.
What you need first is to escape. Do not tell him you're leaving I hope you are smart enough to have all of your own identity documents. You can either call friends relatives or a charity for abused women or charity for the victims of traffic.
Good luck.
And please the next time you get in a relationship think very carefully about such a huge age gap. In many cases it is a warning red flag. Before you sleep with anyone find out who their friends and family are learn or you can about them. And don't be in a hurry to sleep with them.
Exactly. There is no reason for a 45-year-old to pursue someone less than half his age if he wants a healthy relationship.
No matter how mature a 19-year-old may be for her age, it doesn't compare with the life experience of more than twice that much time on Earth. There is no way for the power dynamics in that relationship to be equal. Heck, anyone over 25 is in a sufficiently different stage of life that dating a teen likely won't end well.
To add to this, the brain is not done developing for females until ~ age 25
So yes you can emotionally believe you are mature enough for a 45yo
But physically you aren't done even growing yet.
I'm sorry you were tricked by a very manipulative sick adult.
Saying "smart enough" just seems harsh, though, I can easily see someone saying "let's keep those documents in my safe," and like above, where OP was so trusting...
The smart enough part means not being aware. OP was manipulated: but seems to still be in denial. OP needs to learn about predators and cons asap. Wish more parents raised children to be aware
OP You can contact a group called Selah Freedom if you need help getting out of this. They also provide counseling, peer support and safe housing if needed.
"The age gap isn't a problem."
-goes on to explain how the unproblematic age gap bf is trafficking her...
OP, I hope you are able to take the good advice you have been getting. Do not give him a heads up. Just go when he isn't looking. Try to get your important papers on the way out. I hope you have a safe place to land.
Please listen to the people telling you not to confront him. Just secretly escape and get to a safe place. Make sure the people around you know what's going on, so they can help you staying safe.
You can’t let him know you intend to leave. Pack a bag with all of your important documents in it and put it somewhere he won’t see it but you can grab it quickly. Then pick a time when he’s away for a couple hours at least. Grab that bag and go.
Do not tell him you’re leaving. Do not tell him where you’re going. Block his number. If you have to, change your number.
If you need help getting away, check out u/Ebbie45. Her user page has links to resources for women trying to get away from abusers like your husband.
I’d say tho on your way out the door make a stop at the local bank and withdraw half of your joint account if you have one. You’re entitled to that. Then burn your trail asap.
Please schedule an appointment with your doctor, or a local clinic, for a full STD panel, because even if these men, and your partner, wore condoms they aren't bulletproof protection against sexually transmitted diseases.
Your partner betrayed you in the worst way possible, and I hope you get away from him before you get hurt worse by this man.
I’m so glad to hear this lovely. I used to work with victims of trafficking & sexual exploitation and this is absolutely textbook exploitation. Please please stay safe - make an exit plan without him knowing and then totally delete him from your life. If you’d like further support I can signpost you. Let us know once you’re out and safe if you feel able to 💕
So I actually started off working as a support worker in a safe house for a charity, then worked my way up to service delivery manager running all frontline projects (safe houses and an outreach team). I’m in the UK, not sure where you are but if you google support services for human trafficking / modern slavery / child sexual exploitation you should be able to subscribe to job alerts. Or you could train as a social worker or clinical psychologist. Happy for you to DM me, happy to help if I can!
If you have anyone in your life you trust that isn’t connected with your trafficker, reach out. Even if they can’t physically or financially help you are going to need emotional help. There are resources to help as well. It sounds like it is still early on, but know that the longer it continues the harder it is to escape.
Please be careful, make your plan thoughtfully, and do not tell him. Do not say goodbye, do not “give him closure” if he asks for it. Do not communicate with him or anyone in his circle. They are going to love bomb you so hard, and when that doesn’t work turn vicious. This will help protect your physical and mental well being because THEY DO NOT CARE ABOUT WHAT THIS IS DOING TO YOU.
He doesn’t deserve you, your time or your energy. You and your well being are the only priority. Please find a therapist or support group because you will need support in the coming months/years.
And this is exactly why the age gap is creepy, predatory, and something you shouldn’t be looking for. Sorry to say this, but you are a child, and he’s a fully grown adult.
Even if this weren’t a potential human trafficking issue, he clearly has red flags that women his own age recognize that you don’t, simply because you lack life experience.
He never loved you.
And never date an older man again. The chances of being groomed is 99%. It isn’t worth it. Date someone near your age. It isn’t cool to date someone older AT ALL because these men look at you and see a child they want to groom and control. It isn’t worth it
So it was in fact, predatory, I hope you now realize that as it was his intent to try and basically traffic you. There is no reason a 45 year old man should have too much in common with a 19 year old. No matter how mature you think you are I can promise you as someone ten years your senior you have so much to learn and discover. Run from this man.
OP, I've upvoted your post because it needs more visibility. I'm hoping the Reddit community comes to your aid here.
Predatory relationships don't start out feeling predatory to the affected. But they certainly escalate to that.
I'm incredibly concerned that you're in a predatory relationship. What you've just experienced is an escalation of its severity.
I think what you've experienced is a form of sex trafficking. He has exploited your feelings for him to encourage you to have sex with other men for his gain (financial or otherwise).
I can't see how this situation is in any way healthy for you. A truly loving partner won't do this. A decent human won't even think of this.
> Anyway we talked waaay too much about it and are almost over it but i also want to get my money or my share from it as well. I didn’t ask him and i didn’t think it would be a good idea but i recently started to think that i deserve it.
Please DO NOT do this. Asking for "your share" may signal to him that he has permission to further escalate this behavior, which could quickly result in you finding yourself in more dangerous situations.
My advice to you is this: Find an adult you know and trust, tell them everything that has happened and ask them to help you safely exit this relationship.
You may not feel unsafe in this relationship and that's entirely why this situation is a potentially very dangerous one.
Please don't let your feelings for this person blind you to the danger you're in.
I'm sorry this has happened to you, but it's not too late to get to safety. Find a good trustworthy adult and please let them help you.
Thank you so much you’re a kind person to be honest I didn’t know this was such a serious situation I’m till someone in the comment told me about Romeo pimping and I am just disgusted at the moment I had no idea.
I will definitely get out of this relationship. No questions asked.
Please be so so so careful when you leave. The most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when you try to leave, and that applies to your situation too. Please strongly consider calling a trafficking going to help you make a plan to get out safely. You are in serious, true danger and you need help. Be safe ❤
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Once you leave, do not have any contact with him. None. He'll try to bait you into responding. Do not. He'll try to sweet talk you into coming back. He'll say what you want to hear. He'll say he's changed. He hasn't and he won't. Please never have any kind of contact with him again, and be safe.
Please don't try to confront him! Be nice, pretend nothing changed and leave without him knowing!!! If you start showing signs that you're uncomfortable or planning to leave, he will keep a close eye on you and it may be harder to leave. Act clueless and dissappear when he least expects it
Be safe op, just commenting to be another voice of support and trying to gain visibility for you to get more resources. Be sneaky, be gone, don’t ever talk to them again. Do you have family friends you can reach out to? I’m sure someone would be happy to take you in/protect you.
OP this is exactly why older men prey on young girls. Because the chance they’ve never heard of these exploitations is much much greater. I’m so glad you’re getting out. Wishing you the best of luck.
I also want to suggest that if you have no reliable adults, try getting help from women shelters or NGOs for women. They have experience with such issues and can definitely help you out. Please get their contact number for your country and try contacting them.
I hope you stay safe.
I hope there is a safe way to do that. Turn off location sharing. If you can lay low somewhere far for a while you should do that. 100% he is grooming you and this is the legitimate beginning of sex trafficking. Get out NOW
This post is terrifying. You are a TEENAGER. You were groomed, and now being trafficked. You cannot date older people like this. That is not normal. No normal man of that age will ever be comfortable with your age. That in itself is a huge red flag. They don’t care what they will do to you.
Please consider going to the police or a sex trafficking unit. Especially if he started the relationship when you were under 18
If you feel safe/comfortable doing this, it could help save the next girl.
Find yourself a domestic abuse, women’s shelter, or sex trafficking organization near you. They will help you get out, keep you safe, and report him to police if you choose to do this.
There’s a really good movie about this exact situation you might relate to and get some insight from: *Palm Trees and Power Lines*
I’m so relieved to read your update.
By the way OP, this isn't your fault. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Please get therapy as soon as you can, once you're out of this situation, because you're the victim of a traumatic circumstance. And while things are still fresh the dust hasn't settled yet, but once it does the trauma can start to catch up to you once your brain starts processing how messed up your experience really was.
Hoping the best for you!!
Ey yo for the teens in the back, this is why we yell at you over huge age gap relationships regardless of how “sooo mature” you are for your age.
No your relationship isn’t special, yes there’s a reason why an old man is targeting teens and no it’s not for any good reason.
I want to upvote this even LOUDER. I still remember my smart, university educated, and beautiful friend being sad over a breakup with a 38 year old guy who got mad when she wanted to make pancakes with him. His reasoning? "You're fucking stupid, you always make me do new things." Yeah. Guy "worked" at a gas station.
This is the type of stuff I think about when there is an age gap and people are like “stop treating people who have been legal adults for 10 minutes like kids! If they are legal and consenting, there’s no issue!”
I dated a guy when I was the OP’s age who was in his 30s. I was so mature (I wasn’t), I acted older than my age (I didn’t), I was amazing (amazingly stupid, yes). It didn’t last long, but somehow I ended up talking to him about 5 years later. At this point, he was late 30s and he told me that he had met the love of his life. He was telling me about how incredible she was. She was beautiful and intelligent. She was hardworking and tenacious. She was everything he ever wanted in a woman. And she was 16. Dude could have been her dad. I was so grossed out by it. He told me that they needed to wait until she hit 18 so he didn’t look like a predator. Back then, I didn’t know shit about grooming, but the whole thing was gross and uncomfortable. I hope she realized what he was doing.
Also, if you're young and reading this, know that this 30+ yo dude telling you "you're pretty mature for your age " is most likely considered a creep and a loser by people his own age... These guys manipulate young girls because women their own age know they're fucking weird.
Yeah, I’m saving this post for any next person who says they’re in a ‘totally healthy relationship and we truly love each other’.
And also: this is one of the reasons why we need comprehensive sexual education from a young age. I learned about this shit in primary school.
>And also: this is one of the reasons why we need comprehensive sexual education from a young age. I learned about this shit in primary school.
Yes yes yes yes yes yes!!! I'm absolutely enraged at the pious, religious people who clutch their pearls at the mention of sex. Because that leads to situations like this.
>regardless of how “sooo mature” you are for your age.
And if an older person ever says you're so mature for your age, they're probably grooming you and you should get away from them, as fast and as far as you can.
yes and we may be old and ugly, but what we're not is jealous lmao. we warn you because we CARE and wished the internet was around back then to normalize the warning about older men going for teenagers.
you need to watch the show Runaway on Netflix. It’s specifically about your situation and shows how sexual trafficking can happen so easily without u even realizing it at first. It will help you see how much danger you’re in right now and what you need to do to safely get out.
Did you catch the part where she said they've been in a relationship "for a while"
I bet you anything this didn't start at 18. Worst case scenario he was eyeing her for a while and staged an accidental meeting the moment she turned 18.
He even told me so lol. For real tho OP if you see this leave that loser and date someone your own age. Hes clearly taking advantage of your for your youth and body.
I think with young women like op there is a strong desire to not be a victim. But they are. It's not their fault. They are not weak. They've just been taken advantage of.
yup. we all thought we were “different” and “mature for our age” when older guys would hit on us when we were younger. it’s only when we get older that we realize they are f**king predators. dating someone young enough to be his daughter. disgusting.
This! I hate that young people are abused like this and feel like they’re at fault. You’re not dumb op, or anyone else in a similar situation. Manipulators are… manipulative, and if they’re good it’s in a way you never knew, or think it’s their fault.
I met my ex when I was 19 and he was 30. I used the same exact words Op used to defend our age gap bc.i considered myself an adult making a choice and he would tell me I acted so much older. 10 years later (8 of which I spent with him 🥴) I can recognize that yeah I was an adult, but I was also a young person who had just been extremely traumatized, had lost my self esteem ,was desperate to see myself as a person in control of my fate and sex life, and admitting the red flags about my partner I knew were there the whole time would be like admitting defeat somehow. Knowing what I know about him now, there's a reason he.wasnt seeking out stable, confident women his own age.
I'm 32 and hung out with a 23 year old and that was too far for me. Wasn't even a date, she came out with some other friends (who were mid-late 20s) and glommed on to me.
Like we hit it off well and all but she's talking about wrapping up college and I'm talking about dealing with annoying C-suiters fucking with my KPIs.
Not the same places at all.
I’m 42, and three of my staffers are 23. I love them, they are absolutely wonderful people. Driven, hard working, ambitious. And oh, so so young. I can’t imagine trying to be in a relationship with one of them.
Yeah OP is too young to realize this, but it's really fucked up. At 19 you feel like an adult and it might seem okay, but from his perspective it's really different. I'm 35, and I wouldn't even date someone younger than 30... I've talked with 20 years old and I truly feel that there's a big gap already. That dude is 45 ffs, he probably never considered this a relationship to begin with, he's a predator and he tricked her into sex trafficking...
I'm really sorry this happened to you, but this is why age gap relationships are stigmatized - because this is often the reality.
You are young and, I know you will hate me saying this, but you are not fully mature yet to understand what boundaries you need to have.
Please take my advice: he lied to you, and even worse, violated you sexually by lying to you about the circumstances you were having sex with other men. This shows that he's a liar and that he has no respect for you or your body. The most self respecting thing you can do is to leave him, and get far away from him, because someone who does what he did is dangerous. He doesn't love you, this is not something you do to someone you love. It may feel like he loved you and you may even feel okay with being pimped because you were groomed. I know you dont like to hear this but if you met when you were even younger, he has likely manipulated you in ways you dont realize. Please take my advice and get away from this man, get away from his influence on your life.
He is currently in the long term process of kidnapping you so he can make money off your body. That is why he is so wealthy. He is also probably very dangerous. Contact whoever you trust the most and arrange for them to pick you up when he's not around. Have everything pre-packed, leave, don't leave a trace behind. Change all your contact info, email, phone number, shut down social media accounts for a while.
The world has been around for billions of years, different forms of predators have existed the entire time, and they've learned how to be more and more dangerous. You got here under two decades ago. Respect your own lack of knowledge, and don't EVER trust yourself to be the exception.
Also why was a 47 year old trying to be friends with me when I’m 21. Just wondering, I don’t talk to him anymore though it was a bit ago, felt a bad feeling about it even when he was nice
That’s so strange. I’m 21 - I think if anyone at 47 tried to talk to me my dad would go mental. It’s so strange. At 21 I don’t even want to talk to or make friends with 18 year olds. So I have no idea why someone middle age would want to befriend someone who is barely an adult outside of a professional setting.
He said he makes friends of all ages just to “see how their mind works or how they see the world” etc I’m not buying it, seems like an excuse looking back to prey on young girls, when I brought up my mom was more his age appropriate he said “oh you don’t want me anymore then?” and later brushed it off and said it was some other reason why he felt that way. Also he said he was thinking about moving to the same city I am from and introducing me to a male friend he has that is more my age…. Also seemed like a way to lure me to meet with him. He said “oh come meet me in a public place of course not private, so I’m not doing anything weird… (along those lines)
No that’s such a red flag. Please please don’t meet this guy & if you ever do. Do not go alone. It sounds incredibly weird that he wants to do that. Please please avoid <33
For future reference, a significantly older man showing interest in you as a teenager doesn't mean you are mature for your age. It means he's immature for his age.
Ironically, not that it's their fault, but the teenage girls who get hooked into these relationships with these nonces because they believe them when they tell them they're so "Grown and mature" Are just showing how immature they really are to fall for such an obvious ploy to try and get in their pants
I'm only a couple of years older than your pimp, so if you'll allow me to be your Internet Auntie for a sec:
You are not his peer. He has *more than a quarter-century* more life experience than you. Let me make this clear: when you were *born*, he was *26 goddamned years old* and had been a legal adult *for 8 years already*. Whether you want to admit it or not, there's a massive power imbalance in your relationship, and *it's not in your favor*.
At 19, the best that can be said for him is that he manipulated a newly-minted adult into prostitution. If you've been "dating" for more than a year, *he groomed a minor into prostitution*. Dr Lois Lee documented the [strategies pimps use](https://youtu.be/3Pc4mi6aVAc?si=oe7NkqHrL4g1YL5e) to coerce women and girls into prostitution and keep them on the game in 1973. A few years later, she started the charity [Children of the Night](https://www.childrenofthenight.org/), which aims to get children and young people out of prostitution. Their 24/7 hotline number is 1-800-551-1300. Please call them.
🫶, Internet Auntie Tremynci
EDIT: [Scarlateen](https://www.scarleteen.com/article/abuse_assault/why_i_deeply_dislike_your_older_boyfriend) has a great breakdown of why relationships like this make us Internet Aunties and Uncles so upset.
"i believe when he says he did it to make sure they really want me. He is ultra wealthy and has no need for that little money they would pay".
He did do it for the money with zero regard or love for you, please believe us and escape.
He is not likely as wealthy as he’s portraying, did do it for the money, and probably got a lot more than he’s trying to pretend. This also sounds like it’s not the first time that he’s done this, and that he as other girls/ women that he’s pimping
I am so sorry this happen to you, sadly it is a predatory relationship due to the age gap and that you are not even in your 20s yet while this man is almost in his 50s. I know it maybe didnt seem like it if you felt like he treated you as his equal, but there is a huge difference in the way you two think and he knows this and uses it for his benefits to manipulate you.
I just wanna say real quick: its not your fault at all, for thinking or feeling like this relationship isnt harmful and/or normal. Its very common that young women/girls get groomed by older men.
Don't feel stupid (saw you comment this under someones comment) for trusting him and feeling like your relationship was a healthy and "normal" relationship and that he wasn't using you, because it isn't your fault.
Please be careful when you decide to leave him. Ask an adult you trust for help and even contacting Women Resource Center. Best of luck 🫂
r/justnoagegap
Girl, you are being pumped out, but you are portraying this relationship as if it's healthy and loving. There's a reason why this almost 50 year old man got with some who can't even legally drink. Normal men in their 40s look at you like you could be their kid, and wouldn't do this to you. He groomed you and is selling your body to strangers for his own profit.
Dump him before he starts selling you to people who aren't so nice. Your life is in danger. This isn't a cute link - you are a prostitute and face all the dangers that come with it.
I’m in deep agreement with all the other responses. Let us know if you need resources & more advice. Keep this to yourself to keep safe until you can leave him.
Just because age gap relationships are legal doesn't make them ethical. Everyone always thinks their relationship is different and that everything is ok and nobody is being used.
Nobody with pure intentions over 25 years old is interested in a teenager. And no sane person over 30 is interested in people under 25.
And he's not with you because "you're so mature for your age," ladies. It's either because he's immature for his age, or he's a predator. There are no other reasons for that big of an age gap.
Report to the police. I’m sorry you went through that. Be sure to have talked with a family member you trust, hopefully a therapist or social worker and then an attorney.
Got to wonder why he’s ultra wealthy. Chances are, he’s doing this with other girls, or other just as shady business.
It might not be a lot of money now, but once he’s fully established control over you, it’s going to be a lot more money and a lot more “customers”.
Be very careful, OP. You need to grab the essentials and get the hell out.
He went after you because he sensed that you would be a perfect gullible victim and he groomed you into thinking hooking up with other men would benefit you. You claiming there wasn't anything wrong with your age gap shows how naive you are. Get out of this relationship and do not look back before he gets you in a even more mess. This man does not care about your safety and will continue to lie to you just to make money off you.
Girl, that relationship wasn't real for him. He was just testing your boundaries and stretching them so you would believe in any shit he said and he would use you. Honestly, get out of here immediately. Don't ask for the money or he will get aggressive
OP, I was in a similar situation with my ex-husband. Much older man, seduced me from the age of about 16, we married at 18. By 19 he had me fucking his friends because he "liked to watch" I too enjoyed it, I too found out he was receiving payment from them without my knowledge. Luckily he didn't get violent about it or anything when confronted, but I put a stop to it shortly after. We are seperated now, just be careful.
'My (F18) boyfriend (M81) keeps asking me to dress up in bunny costumes and takes pictures, and sells them. Is this normal? Also, he's a millionaire and has 12 other girlfriends.'
It was the complete 180° in her attitude
> OP: I'm being pimped out against my will, but I don't care, where's my money.
> Everyone: You're being pimped out against your will
> OP: OMG you're right! 😭
Come on people
>He said it was only these last few times and he did it for them to prove that they really really want me. I don’t believe it was the last few times but i believe when he says he did it to make sure they really want me. He is ultra wealthy and has no need for that little money they would pay.
You shouldn't believe him because it's an insane excuse that makes no sense.
I'm sorry that you were exploited and trafficked. I hope you can get the help and support you need to heal. He doesn't love you and he never did. He is a predator and you were the prey.
And you should not be comfortable with such an age gap. Have more respect for yourself.
OP, can you please update us when you’re free? We’re worried about you. I hope you get out safely and are in a better place now - or have a plan to do this soon.
What you are describing is a very common pimping / sex trafficking method. They basically love bomb you and make you dependent on them or other things they offer until they casually move you to prostitution. It started with his regular or trusted Johns and it has now moved to strangers. Your 1 on 1 sex will probably drop off soon as he moves on to recruiting a new girl.
I would highly recommend leaving. I would also not tell him you are leaving or where you are going. I would do this when he is expected to be out. If he is known to family or friends I would also make sure they know not to give out your location.
" I have this over half my age older dude who pimps me out, but the relationship is great and we love each other, there are no predatory things happening"
What the fuck, where is your parents?!
How do you actually think this is normal behaviour?!
I fucking hope this is fake because this shit is so sad
I've read that you already now know what the situation is.
1- I'm so sorry this happened to you! Nobody deserves to be played like this.
2- PLEASE UPDATE US WHEN YOU'VE SAFELY REMOVED THIS PERSON FROM YOUR LIFE. AND PLEASE INFORM YOUR CLOSED LOVED ONES IMMEDIATELY, SO THAT YOU STAY SAFE.
I wish you all the best in your life moving forward. Stay safe.
Get out. NOW.
Don’t confront him, you could put yourself in even more danger. Just leave quietly.
And yes, the age gap *is* a huge problem, it is predatory. A 45 year old grown ass man has nothing in common with a 19 year old. You were groomed, you are a victim.
You’re 19 and he’s 45 being sexually coerced into things you don’t want to do. The age gap and your naivety is why he’s praying on. Run and tell the police what he was doing
Bruh, a man in his mid 40’s being interested in a 19 year old is already a huge red flag. You’re the same age as my sister and my dad is the same age as him. Age is not just a number in that kind of situation. You’re a teenager and he’s 26 years older than you.
I'm sorry, honey, but yes. You were. He's what they call a Romeo pimp. I'm so sorry your trust was betrayed that way, and relieved that you didn't experience any physical abuse.
Please leave this man ASAP. Quietly as you can. Get your phone, your id and debit card/any cash you can grab, and go.
This is further proof that your brain really isn’t finished fully developing until your early 20s atleast. Great relationship for a while? Lmfao what is that like 4 months?
"there is nothing predatory going on" - girl you're being trafficked. Please do not tackle this alone, get some support.
I'm so sorry this happened to you.
Imagine thinking “the 26 year old age gap is something we are comfortable with and not predatory”
No 45yo man has any real interest in a 19 year old girl other than their ability to control them. You have zero power in the relationship and never will.
You're 19 and you've been with him "for a while now". You realise that the reason people object to large age gaps in relationships is because the younger partner often doesn't possess the maturity to know that they have been groomed?
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Sometimes human trafficking starts like this. When the girl confront him he can tell pretty lies to try to get you to do keep doing it and if that doesn’t work then use force. most times women in this situation can’t get away. DO NOT CONFRONT. That is how it gets worse You are in danger. Get out safely, quietly, unexpectedly
Sometimes??? This is pretty much a textbook case.
Agreed. I feel like a lot of people associate crimes with the worse, more violent instances of them, but this can be harmful bc it can prevent people from realizing that they’re being victimized. This is also a pretty big issue with sexual assault: Contrary to what a lot of people think, it doesn’t always have to be violent(e.g. stealthing).
Sometimes as in there is more than one way for human trafficking to start…
Ah, gotcha, misunderstood your modifier. Since your comment has garnered a lot of upvotes just so people see this I googled it here are some of the ways people get lured into trafficking: Violence Manipulation False promises of well-paying jobs Romantic relationships
I was almost trafficked in a way I wouldn't have known too, although it wasn't a relationship type thing. Just two random guys I agreed to hang out with while traveling to the south of the US, while staying in a sketchy motel after I went to a bar. I've seen so many people say that this only happens in the US to prostitutes or people already in some kind of sketchy life situation but it absolutely happens in every possible way in the US. The way the op is being trafficked is a common af way too. Often the young girl/young woman has a broken family so there won't be parents to question the new relationship or the parents will be lax and accept it. So many trafficked women started off thinking they were in a relationship. Idk if the op is in the US so I'm just speaking on what I've seen where I live
Exactly. I was almost trafficked by a guy I went to high school with who reached out to my bf and I and offered us a place to stay when we were homeless. Myself and even the girls he had been pimping out didn’t know that they were being trafficked. They thought they were the only one and that he loved them. This Romeo was younger than me. I was in my early 20s. I had run away from home after a fight and publicly disclosed my history of sexual abuse so I had been targeted. It started generations back. None of them even knew. Not until they couldn’t escape and had their souls irreparably damaged. I’ve seen it so often. I live in the Midwestern US in a small town.
Does it escalate into violence or does it go the drug addiction way?
Typically emotional abuse/manipulation and drugs. They get you in the self esteem. It’s insidious.
And pregnancy
That's horrible, I'm so sorry you went through that. This sounds like it's one of the more common ways young women are trafficked, it's heartbreaking. I hope you're okay now
What happened with your experience with that bar, and how did you get out of it?
Okay so like I said, it's a pretty long story but I'm shortening it as much as I can while leaving in the relevant stuff. So I was drunk walking back to my motel room when 2 guys stopped me and started chatting. They seemed cool and wanted to drink more, and I stupidly agreed. I was lonely and going through a traumatic loss. They slipped meth or molly in my drink (not sure which), and at some point hid my phone charger so when my phone died, I couldn't charge it. I had a hard time getting them to leave by morning- I didn't want to be rude- and at one point one of them (the main guy, the other guy was just kind of there and didn't participate much in anything) said he was gonna call a friend to pick them up. I heard him on the phone (remember, I was drunkish/high on whatever they slipped me) say to his friend "I have a snow bunny ready to go now". I had no idea what this meant but assumed it had nothing to do with me. He had me talk on the phone saying his friend would be quicker to pick them up if he knew there was a girl there. I didn't really know what to make of that and I'm a people pleaser, sooo I just took the phone. Stupid but I wanted to speed things up. I just said hi, he asked my name, nothing seemed that weird. His "friend" came, and they said he wanted to meet me. At this point I would agree to anything if it got them moving a little faster, so I said okay. It was super weird, he sat across from me at the little table and seemed like he was interviewing me or something. Asked if I had any kids, where I lived, about why I was so far from home, how long I expected to be in town, etc. At some point he asked if I liked hanging out with his friends, and I said something like "yeah but idk why they like hanging out with me so much, I can't be that much fun". It basically ended there and the guy said he'd be out in his car. The main guy absolutely went off on me after this, saying shit like "you can't say shit like that, you embarrassed me, you don't want to offend that guy because he gets his girls hooked on dope". At this point it kind of hit me what was going on (there was a lot more weird red flags that happened before this that hadn't clicked until now) and realized I needed to get out of there right now. Guy 1 went out to smoke a cigarette so I tried to calmly gather my stuff- luckily everything was basically in my suit case- and look for my phone charger. I found it up high on top of a shelf I could barely reach and would never have put it up there myself. I needed to stand on a chair on my tippy toes to reach it. At this point I decide to bolt out the door where I'm met with guy 1. He tries to stop me from leaving but seems like he's restraining himself from grabbing me. He's begging me to not leave, starts saying he's actually in love with me and wants me to come with him somewhere, practically in tears. I'm speed walking to the waffle house that's right next to the motel, same parking lot. He stops me from going in, saying that if I don't come with him right now to a car, he's going to get shot. He keeps pointing in the direction of the far side of the parking lot saying he'll get shot and begging me to go over there with him "just for a minute" Obviously at this point I'm terrified and crying and shaking. I get into the waffle house and look for somewhere to charge my phone to get an Uber. He follows me and starts trying to be more forceful about getting me to come with him, looking out of the window all panicked. He gets up and runs back out for a second, when the cook from the back comes out and asks me if I'm okay. I tell him no, I think that guy pimped me out and is trying to make me go with him. Guy comes back in and is promptly kicked back out by the cook. They almost get in a physical fight, but he agrees to leave when cops are threatened. He starts banging on the windows yelling at me to come out and the cops are called. Here's the worst part of all of this. A few cops show up, and they talk to him for a minute before coming to talk to me. The cop says that the guy said I'm in his girlfriend but I'm a drug addict and a prostitute, and if they let me leave on my own then I will be back in the street hooking. I wasn't and have never been a prostitute, and was not a drug addict. I tried to tell them what happened and that I was pretty sure he sold me to someone and the man he was trying to take me to was out in the parking lot too. They refused to believe me, kept insisting that I must be a prostitute and that if I just admit to it they'll help me. They didn't believe that I had only just met this guy despite me showing them the tags on my bag from my bus trip down there and my out of state license. They said I could either agree to let them "help" me and admit to being a prostitute, or I could go with my "boyfriend", unless I could have another person pick me up. I was from several states away and only had 1 friend in the area that I couldn't reach for a time. They kept trying to convince me to leave with this guy. Finally my friend picked up and came and got me. Was not impressed with the mess I got myself in to say the least lol. Also!! The guy found me on fb and messaged me like a year later. I called him out for it and he gave a stupid excuse. A lot of what he says is nonsense but it confirmed to me that I wasn't overreacting and paranoid and that it was really happening as I thought it was. There were a lot of other red flags like I said, but it would make this 10 times longer as is. I don't mind elaborating in another comment though. I also know that I'm an idiot and most people probably wouldn't find themselves in this position, but I was drunk and having a rough time. Screenshots when he found me on fb- (sorry I can't get imgur to work on my phone) https://ibb.co/pZSZP3W https://ibb.co/6tJY7FT https://ibb.co/52GgM5d Also to add some notes about the messages- I don't know what he's talking about with the pimp stuff, his "brother" (the other guy with us the whole time) barely said two words to me the whole time. Also, the money on the phone thing, this was before a lot of people were streaming or working from their phones, but I could work remotely so that's how I was affording travel. I didn't realize who was messaging me at first when I responded the first couple times.
That's frightening. It's a good thing you left when you did. Also scary that he started stalking you on FB. Has he left you alone since then?
Yeah I blocked him and that was that. I couldn't believe he found me on fb so long after the fact! I genuinely started to think I was crazy and maybe overreacted and it wasn't what I thought it was. But looking back it definitely was. I did a lot of looking into it and found out it's along a line of high way that's notorious for trafficking. Actually I had been warned before going to avoid certain areas of Baton Rouge because there's a lot of prostitution rings, but I ignored the warning because I'm not a prostitute so I figured it wouldn't apply to me. The city I'm from isn't great so I figured I would know what to avoid, but I was wrong.
I’m from Baton Rouge. I can’t believe this is what my city had to offer for you 😭. So sorry you went thru that and made it out.
Oh em gee you slipped by that one by a hair. I’m so sorry that happened and how awful of the cops!!
Tbh it's one of those things that I look back on and shake my head at myself for being so naive and trusting, like what on earth was I thinking. It's the cop thing that scared me the most about it and is one of the main things that put a deep distrust of the police in me. I always talk about it when anything like it comes up though bc too many women believe that if you're not a prostitute, you'll be fine. It makes me wonder how many women they've done this too, or drugged with worse drugs that woke up in a car with it being too late to get away. Scary that it's such a big problem here and everyone kind of assumes it won't happen to them.
Wow this is an amazing story and I really want to make some of my friends read this to their daughters. Unfortunately from other things you've written here apparently that area that you were in was not a great area so although I get you might have a mistrust for cops in general it may very well be that these cops were actually in on the take. They look the other way because eventually they might get to party with their victims. But also once somebody is accused of being a prostitute it's hard to unconvince an officer that they're not. But I have a strong suspicion really that those cops were in on it because they probably knew this guy and the other car pretty well in a small town area. My ex-wife was approached by a pimp in New York City, Well before we were married at the start of our dating, she traveled by bus to see me at college and He wanted to buy her lunch and feed her over here away from the buses. After she told me about this creepy guy. I'm like you do realize that guy was a pimp right trying to get you for his stable. And his 'name' was Sweet Pea. Needless to say travel went one way for a good amount of time.
I just commented this same thing. I was trying to look up a news article of a story of a cop in CA coercing sex workers (and maybe other women to) to have sex with him. In looking for that I found a wiki article dedicated to police abuse of sex workers. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Police_abuse_of_sex_workers_in_the_United_States Some cops will use their position for extortion and racketeering. The good ones really need to have an easier way to weed them out, but I guess that code of silence they have protects the bad ones.
Yeah traveling alone as a woman can be a little risky honestly. Especially if you're not surrounded by that kind of environment, you tend to not even notice red flags bc you don't know what to look for. And on the cop thing, that's so accurate! This was actually the first of THREE times I've been accused of being a prostitute by a cop. I've never been a prostitute so it's so confusing to me. The second time was a year after this when I reported an SA back in my hometown. The cop found the guy and he told him I was a prostitute. Commit a crime against a woman, claim she's a prostitute, cops believe it and stop caring. He even showed up at my sister's house twice asking her if she was absolutely sure that I wasn't one. I wound up dropping the case bc I was sick of the cop only asking me about that. The last time was a little more deserved because of where I was, but I was still not a prostitute lol. He had told me that he had heard I was a prostitute and was harassing the hell out of me for a while, convinced I was up to something. I can guess where he heard that from.
My upvote is for sadness that this happened to you. . But really for any woman. It's good you can laugh about that at least a little bit but still it shows a sad bias in the system. I hope it never happens to you again.
It's a very long story and I don't mind typing it up, but there's no real way to shorten it enough that it will make sense. So I will type it up as short as I can, because maybe knowing what can happen will help others. But I also made a lot of really foolish decisions and ignored some red flags because I'm too trusting and didn't believe trafficking happened like that.
Thank you for typing it up. People def need to know about this kind of thing and getting the word out could prevent someone from falling into this trap.
Remember, you did NOT give consent to these interactions. To give consent, you have to have all relevant information. He intentionally withheld the information that he was collecting money. A man who is willing to hide things and lie is a man willing to hide things and lie. On top of that, he was literally selling you. No MAN who actually loves a woman will.lie to her, hide things from her, and sell her body to other men. You have been groomed and manipulated. Healthy men will NOT want to share you with other people. The second he suggested that, you should have run. He is trafficking you. This has nothing to do with the age-gap, either. There are older men who are healthy and want to date younger for a variety of reasons and there are unhealthy men. You got ont of the unhealthy ones. There are younger men who are also trafficking women. There are also women grooming and trafficking women as well. If your partner is ever dishonest to you, run. Manipulation requires dishonesty and a person willing to be dishonest is a person willing to he dishonest.
If by sometimes you mean "this is the way it is normally done" then yes, sometimes.
Not sometimes, most to almost all of the time. All those random FB posts white women put up about almost getting snatched from a target parking lot are fake. This is how it happens - charming pimps get involved with and gain the trust of someone innocent who most of the time otherwise have a very crappy life (if not physically, often emotionally) and spoil them and manipulate them into it. She doesn't mention any drugs, which I hope for her sake aren't involved because often it's the addiction that keeps them trapped.
Yesss people upvote the above comment. ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️
OP, please read these books ASAP: [Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft](https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf) [The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker](https://www.academia.edu/31891034/The_Gift_of_Fear)
In boxing we call it the slip and move.
Sounds like you are being trafficked. Please get out while you can. Stay safe.
Yes I definitely will fuck this
He never loved you. Not for a second. He 100% groomed to gain your trust and then he pimped you out. He planned it out and he took money for it every single time. You need therapy; You need to be educated in how pimps like the pimp you got involved with work so it doesn't happen to you again, and you need therapy of course to get over the fact you've been trafficked. What you need first is to escape. Do not tell him you're leaving I hope you are smart enough to have all of your own identity documents. You can either call friends relatives or a charity for abused women or charity for the victims of traffic. Good luck. And please the next time you get in a relationship think very carefully about such a huge age gap. In many cases it is a warning red flag. Before you sleep with anyone find out who their friends and family are learn or you can about them. And don't be in a hurry to sleep with them.
in literally every single conceivable case, a 40-something yr old pursuing a teenager is an enormous red flag. every single time.
Exactly. There is no reason for a 45-year-old to pursue someone less than half his age if he wants a healthy relationship. No matter how mature a 19-year-old may be for her age, it doesn't compare with the life experience of more than twice that much time on Earth. There is no way for the power dynamics in that relationship to be equal. Heck, anyone over 25 is in a sufficiently different stage of life that dating a teen likely won't end well.
Agree!!!!! It's says nothing about the 19 yo and EVERYTHING about the older person.
To add to this, the brain is not done developing for females until ~ age 25 So yes you can emotionally believe you are mature enough for a 45yo But physically you aren't done even growing yet. I'm sorry you were tricked by a very manipulative sick adult.
I'm 46 and this made me throw up in my fucking mouth
"Heh, you wouldn't complain about a 145 year-old man and a 119 year-old woman, would you?" - Some ~~pedophilia~~ ephebophilia apologist
lmaooo i hate the internet sfm
Nice touch
OP, read this over and over again till it sinks in.
Saying "smart enough" just seems harsh, though, I can easily see someone saying "let's keep those documents in my safe," and like above, where OP was so trusting...
The smart enough part means not being aware. OP was manipulated: but seems to still be in denial. OP needs to learn about predators and cons asap. Wish more parents raised children to be aware
OP You can contact a group called Selah Freedom if you need help getting out of this. They also provide counseling, peer support and safe housing if needed.
Stay away from creepy old men - they never, literally EVER have your best interests at heart.
"The age gap isn't a problem." -goes on to explain how the unproblematic age gap bf is trafficking her... OP, I hope you are able to take the good advice you have been getting. Do not give him a heads up. Just go when he isn't looking. Try to get your important papers on the way out. I hope you have a safe place to land.
Seconded. If a 40ish year old man is going for a teenager, ask yourself why
Please listen to the people telling you not to confront him. Just secretly escape and get to a safe place. Make sure the people around you know what's going on, so they can help you staying safe.
You can’t let him know you intend to leave. Pack a bag with all of your important documents in it and put it somewhere he won’t see it but you can grab it quickly. Then pick a time when he’s away for a couple hours at least. Grab that bag and go. Do not tell him you’re leaving. Do not tell him where you’re going. Block his number. If you have to, change your number. If you need help getting away, check out u/Ebbie45. Her user page has links to resources for women trying to get away from abusers like your husband.
And also, turn off the location sharing on your phone!!!
I would leave the phone behind. It could have an app installed that she won't be able to find. Turning it off might make him suspicious.
I’d say tho on your way out the door make a stop at the local bank and withdraw half of your joint account if you have one. You’re entitled to that. Then burn your trail asap.
Please schedule an appointment with your doctor, or a local clinic, for a full STD panel, because even if these men, and your partner, wore condoms they aren't bulletproof protection against sexually transmitted diseases. Your partner betrayed you in the worst way possible, and I hope you get away from him before you get hurt worse by this man.
I’m so glad to hear this lovely. I used to work with victims of trafficking & sexual exploitation and this is absolutely textbook exploitation. Please please stay safe - make an exit plan without him knowing and then totally delete him from your life. If you’d like further support I can signpost you. Let us know once you’re out and safe if you feel able to 💕
How do you get into a job like that? I want to… it’s my life’s purpose
become a social worker
So I actually started off working as a support worker in a safe house for a charity, then worked my way up to service delivery manager running all frontline projects (safe houses and an outreach team). I’m in the UK, not sure where you are but if you google support services for human trafficking / modern slavery / child sexual exploitation you should be able to subscribe to job alerts. Or you could train as a social worker or clinical psychologist. Happy for you to DM me, happy to help if I can!
If you have anyone in your life you trust that isn’t connected with your trafficker, reach out. Even if they can’t physically or financially help you are going to need emotional help. There are resources to help as well. It sounds like it is still early on, but know that the longer it continues the harder it is to escape. Please be careful, make your plan thoughtfully, and do not tell him. Do not say goodbye, do not “give him closure” if he asks for it. Do not communicate with him or anyone in his circle. They are going to love bomb you so hard, and when that doesn’t work turn vicious. This will help protect your physical and mental well being because THEY DO NOT CARE ABOUT WHAT THIS IS DOING TO YOU. He doesn’t deserve you, your time or your energy. You and your well being are the only priority. Please find a therapist or support group because you will need support in the coming months/years.
Don't confront him, just disappear, buy a gun, get a good scary dog, protect yourself at all times
And this is exactly why the age gap is creepy, predatory, and something you shouldn’t be looking for. Sorry to say this, but you are a child, and he’s a fully grown adult. Even if this weren’t a potential human trafficking issue, he clearly has red flags that women his own age recognize that you don’t, simply because you lack life experience. He never loved you.
Never date a man this much older than you!!! Stay within 5-6 years difference!
And never date an older man again. The chances of being groomed is 99%. It isn’t worth it. Date someone near your age. It isn’t cool to date someone older AT ALL because these men look at you and see a child they want to groom and control. It isn’t worth it
I am so relieved to see this, I hope you do.
So it was in fact, predatory, I hope you now realize that as it was his intent to try and basically traffic you. There is no reason a 45 year old man should have too much in common with a 19 year old. No matter how mature you think you are I can promise you as someone ten years your senior you have so much to learn and discover. Run from this man.
Please call the police once you are safe. He will continue to do this to other children!
Also consider why would a 45 year old man go after a much younger woman. You are old enough to be his daughter.
You snuck in "husband" towards the end of the post 😳 please stay safe!
OP, I've upvoted your post because it needs more visibility. I'm hoping the Reddit community comes to your aid here. Predatory relationships don't start out feeling predatory to the affected. But they certainly escalate to that. I'm incredibly concerned that you're in a predatory relationship. What you've just experienced is an escalation of its severity. I think what you've experienced is a form of sex trafficking. He has exploited your feelings for him to encourage you to have sex with other men for his gain (financial or otherwise). I can't see how this situation is in any way healthy for you. A truly loving partner won't do this. A decent human won't even think of this. > Anyway we talked waaay too much about it and are almost over it but i also want to get my money or my share from it as well. I didn’t ask him and i didn’t think it would be a good idea but i recently started to think that i deserve it. Please DO NOT do this. Asking for "your share" may signal to him that he has permission to further escalate this behavior, which could quickly result in you finding yourself in more dangerous situations. My advice to you is this: Find an adult you know and trust, tell them everything that has happened and ask them to help you safely exit this relationship. You may not feel unsafe in this relationship and that's entirely why this situation is a potentially very dangerous one. Please don't let your feelings for this person blind you to the danger you're in. I'm sorry this has happened to you, but it's not too late to get to safety. Find a good trustworthy adult and please let them help you.
Thank you so much you’re a kind person to be honest I didn’t know this was such a serious situation I’m till someone in the comment told me about Romeo pimping and I am just disgusted at the moment I had no idea. I will definitely get out of this relationship. No questions asked.
Don’t confront. Pretend everything is ok and run.
Please be so so so careful when you leave. The most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when you try to leave, and that applies to your situation too. Please strongly consider calling a trafficking going to help you make a plan to get out safely. You are in serious, true danger and you need help. Be safe ❤
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Once you leave, do not have any contact with him. None. He'll try to bait you into responding. Do not. He'll try to sweet talk you into coming back. He'll say what you want to hear. He'll say he's changed. He hasn't and he won't. Please never have any kind of contact with him again, and be safe.
He may even threaten her that he recorded something if the sweet talking efforts fail. Praying for her safety.
This needs to be UPVOTED! I think #1 way he tries to get her back.
Please don't try to confront him! Be nice, pretend nothing changed and leave without him knowing!!! If you start showing signs that you're uncomfortable or planning to leave, he will keep a close eye on you and it may be harder to leave. Act clueless and dissappear when he least expects it
Also you don’t have to tell your family and friends everything, as long as they’ll help you if you leave. Dont let that be a barrier. Just leave.
Be safe op, just commenting to be another voice of support and trying to gain visibility for you to get more resources. Be sneaky, be gone, don’t ever talk to them again. Do you have family friends you can reach out to? I’m sure someone would be happy to take you in/protect you.
OP this is exactly why older men prey on young girls. Because the chance they’ve never heard of these exploitations is much much greater. I’m so glad you’re getting out. Wishing you the best of luck.
OP, once you leave and are safe, please find a therapist who specializes in human trafficking.
don’t confront him. just get away and block him on everything.
I also want to suggest that if you have no reliable adults, try getting help from women shelters or NGOs for women. They have experience with such issues and can definitely help you out. Please get their contact number for your country and try contacting them. I hope you stay safe.
Please get law enforcement on your side asap. He will do this to others. And you are in danger.
Please update us when you're safely out of this "relationship".
I hope there is a safe way to do that. Turn off location sharing. If you can lay low somewhere far for a while you should do that. 100% he is grooming you and this is the legitimate beginning of sex trafficking. Get out NOW
This post is terrifying. You are a TEENAGER. You were groomed, and now being trafficked. You cannot date older people like this. That is not normal. No normal man of that age will ever be comfortable with your age. That in itself is a huge red flag. They don’t care what they will do to you.
This is beyond horrible, I’m so sorry. Please leave as soon as possible. You definitely don’t deserve to be disrespected and lied to like that :(
Thank you so much. Its over, im getting out
Please update us and let us know you're safe
Please consider going to the police or a sex trafficking unit. Especially if he started the relationship when you were under 18 If you feel safe/comfortable doing this, it could help save the next girl.
I hope you have somewhere safe to be and seek any support you need
Find yourself a domestic abuse, women’s shelter, or sex trafficking organization near you. They will help you get out, keep you safe, and report him to police if you choose to do this.
Update us please
Don’t tell him. Ghost, don’t talk to him at all. Be very careful!
I'm so proud of you. Good luck.
Grooming and scamming you to pimp you out.[Romeo Pimping](https://polarisproject.org/blog/2023/01/the-tate-brothers-and-the-basics-of-romeo-pimping/)
This is insane ive never heard about this
There’s a really good movie about this exact situation you might relate to and get some insight from: *Palm Trees and Power Lines* I’m so relieved to read your update.
There’s also a drama called ‘three girls’ based on the Rochdale child abuse ring in the uk
French Canadian TV series called "Runaway" is almost exactly her scenario
Suuuuch a good and important series. Shows a hyper realistic version of what sex trafficking can look like.
It's funny because I told OP to watch this movie too.
By the way OP, this isn't your fault. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Please get therapy as soon as you can, once you're out of this situation, because you're the victim of a traumatic circumstance. And while things are still fresh the dust hasn't settled yet, but once it does the trauma can start to catch up to you once your brain starts processing how messed up your experience really was. Hoping the best for you!!
Well now you know! Sorry this happened to you.
That's because you're a teenager
Ey yo for the teens in the back, this is why we yell at you over huge age gap relationships regardless of how “sooo mature” you are for your age. No your relationship isn’t special, yes there’s a reason why an old man is targeting teens and no it’s not for any good reason.
I want to upvote this even LOUDER. I still remember my smart, university educated, and beautiful friend being sad over a breakup with a 38 year old guy who got mad when she wanted to make pancakes with him. His reasoning? "You're fucking stupid, you always make me do new things." Yeah. Guy "worked" at a gas station.
This is the type of stuff I think about when there is an age gap and people are like “stop treating people who have been legal adults for 10 minutes like kids! If they are legal and consenting, there’s no issue!” I dated a guy when I was the OP’s age who was in his 30s. I was so mature (I wasn’t), I acted older than my age (I didn’t), I was amazing (amazingly stupid, yes). It didn’t last long, but somehow I ended up talking to him about 5 years later. At this point, he was late 30s and he told me that he had met the love of his life. He was telling me about how incredible she was. She was beautiful and intelligent. She was hardworking and tenacious. She was everything he ever wanted in a woman. And she was 16. Dude could have been her dad. I was so grossed out by it. He told me that they needed to wait until she hit 18 so he didn’t look like a predator. Back then, I didn’t know shit about grooming, but the whole thing was gross and uncomfortable. I hope she realized what he was doing.
Also, if you're young and reading this, know that this 30+ yo dude telling you "you're pretty mature for your age " is most likely considered a creep and a loser by people his own age... These guys manipulate young girls because women their own age know they're fucking weird.
Christ; I’m still trying to return my heart to my chest from my throat.
Yeah, I’m saving this post for any next person who says they’re in a ‘totally healthy relationship and we truly love each other’. And also: this is one of the reasons why we need comprehensive sexual education from a young age. I learned about this shit in primary school.
>And also: this is one of the reasons why we need comprehensive sexual education from a young age. I learned about this shit in primary school. Yes yes yes yes yes yes!!! I'm absolutely enraged at the pious, religious people who clutch their pearls at the mention of sex. Because that leads to situations like this.
And even if it’s not sex work, it’s going to be something else.
>regardless of how “sooo mature” you are for your age. And if an older person ever says you're so mature for your age, they're probably grooming you and you should get away from them, as fast and as far as you can.
yes and we may be old and ugly, but what we're not is jealous lmao. we warn you because we CARE and wished the internet was around back then to normalize the warning about older men going for teenagers.
Please say this ****LOUDER****
you need to watch the show Runaway on Netflix. It’s specifically about your situation and shows how sexual trafficking can happen so easily without u even realizing it at first. It will help you see how much danger you’re in right now and what you need to do to safely get out.
Literally was going to type this, the show is a perfect example of
[удалено]
Did you catch the part where she said they've been in a relationship "for a while" I bet you anything this didn't start at 18. Worst case scenario he was eyeing her for a while and staged an accidental meeting the moment she turned 18.
I’d argue that’s almost the *best* case scenario, honestly. This is a deeply, DEEPLY fucked up situation.
Yeah he only sells my body to strange men. We definitely love one another. Just like any other couple.
He's a child at heart and I'm mature for my age 🫠
He even told me so lol. For real tho OP if you see this leave that loser and date someone your own age. Hes clearly taking advantage of your for your youth and body.
I think with young women like op there is a strong desire to not be a victim. But they are. It's not their fault. They are not weak. They've just been taken advantage of.
yup. we all thought we were “different” and “mature for our age” when older guys would hit on us when we were younger. it’s only when we get older that we realize they are f**king predators. dating someone young enough to be his daughter. disgusting.
This! I hate that young people are abused like this and feel like they’re at fault. You’re not dumb op, or anyone else in a similar situation. Manipulators are… manipulative, and if they’re good it’s in a way you never knew, or think it’s their fault.
Disgusting indeed
I met my ex when I was 19 and he was 30. I used the same exact words Op used to defend our age gap bc.i considered myself an adult making a choice and he would tell me I acted so much older. 10 years later (8 of which I spent with him 🥴) I can recognize that yeah I was an adult, but I was also a young person who had just been extremely traumatized, had lost my self esteem ,was desperate to see myself as a person in control of my fate and sex life, and admitting the red flags about my partner I knew were there the whole time would be like admitting defeat somehow. Knowing what I know about him now, there's a reason he.wasnt seeking out stable, confident women his own age.
⬆️It’s not a moral failing on the part of op to fall victim to a predator.
Yeah I’m nearly 27 years old and even at my age I’d never date anyone in their late teens. I’d be uncomfortable with anyone 18-21 tbh
I'm 32 and hung out with a 23 year old and that was too far for me. Wasn't even a date, she came out with some other friends (who were mid-late 20s) and glommed on to me. Like we hit it off well and all but she's talking about wrapping up college and I'm talking about dealing with annoying C-suiters fucking with my KPIs. Not the same places at all.
I’m 42, and three of my staffers are 23. I love them, they are absolutely wonderful people. Driven, hard working, ambitious. And oh, so so young. I can’t imagine trying to be in a relationship with one of them.
Yeah OP is too young to realize this, but it's really fucked up. At 19 you feel like an adult and it might seem okay, but from his perspective it's really different. I'm 35, and I wouldn't even date someone younger than 30... I've talked with 20 years old and I truly feel that there's a big gap already. That dude is 45 ffs, he probably never considered this a relationship to begin with, he's a predator and he tricked her into sex trafficking...
I'm really sorry this happened to you, but this is why age gap relationships are stigmatized - because this is often the reality. You are young and, I know you will hate me saying this, but you are not fully mature yet to understand what boundaries you need to have. Please take my advice: he lied to you, and even worse, violated you sexually by lying to you about the circumstances you were having sex with other men. This shows that he's a liar and that he has no respect for you or your body. The most self respecting thing you can do is to leave him, and get far away from him, because someone who does what he did is dangerous. He doesn't love you, this is not something you do to someone you love. It may feel like he loved you and you may even feel okay with being pimped because you were groomed. I know you dont like to hear this but if you met when you were even younger, he has likely manipulated you in ways you dont realize. Please take my advice and get away from this man, get away from his influence on your life.
He is currently in the long term process of kidnapping you so he can make money off your body. That is why he is so wealthy. He is also probably very dangerous. Contact whoever you trust the most and arrange for them to pick you up when he's not around. Have everything pre-packed, leave, don't leave a trace behind. Change all your contact info, email, phone number, shut down social media accounts for a while. The world has been around for billions of years, different forms of predators have existed the entire time, and they've learned how to be more and more dangerous. You got here under two decades ago. Respect your own lack of knowledge, and don't EVER trust yourself to be the exception.
Immediately sorry the age gap is insane. No 45 year old has anything in common with a 19 year old. He could be your dad. That’s absolutely foul.
Also why was a 47 year old trying to be friends with me when I’m 21. Just wondering, I don’t talk to him anymore though it was a bit ago, felt a bad feeling about it even when he was nice
That’s so strange. I’m 21 - I think if anyone at 47 tried to talk to me my dad would go mental. It’s so strange. At 21 I don’t even want to talk to or make friends with 18 year olds. So I have no idea why someone middle age would want to befriend someone who is barely an adult outside of a professional setting.
He said he makes friends of all ages just to “see how their mind works or how they see the world” etc I’m not buying it, seems like an excuse looking back to prey on young girls, when I brought up my mom was more his age appropriate he said “oh you don’t want me anymore then?” and later brushed it off and said it was some other reason why he felt that way. Also he said he was thinking about moving to the same city I am from and introducing me to a male friend he has that is more my age…. Also seemed like a way to lure me to meet with him. He said “oh come meet me in a public place of course not private, so I’m not doing anything weird… (along those lines)
No that’s such a red flag. Please please don’t meet this guy & if you ever do. Do not go alone. It sounds incredibly weird that he wants to do that. Please please avoid <33
For future reference, a significantly older man showing interest in you as a teenager doesn't mean you are mature for your age. It means he's immature for his age.
Ironically, not that it's their fault, but the teenage girls who get hooked into these relationships with these nonces because they believe them when they tell them they're so "Grown and mature" Are just showing how immature they really are to fall for such an obvious ploy to try and get in their pants
OP is in a very abusive relationship, I don't get the point in trying to make her feel stupid
https://humantraffickinghotline.org/en
I'm only a couple of years older than your pimp, so if you'll allow me to be your Internet Auntie for a sec: You are not his peer. He has *more than a quarter-century* more life experience than you. Let me make this clear: when you were *born*, he was *26 goddamned years old* and had been a legal adult *for 8 years already*. Whether you want to admit it or not, there's a massive power imbalance in your relationship, and *it's not in your favor*. At 19, the best that can be said for him is that he manipulated a newly-minted adult into prostitution. If you've been "dating" for more than a year, *he groomed a minor into prostitution*. Dr Lois Lee documented the [strategies pimps use](https://youtu.be/3Pc4mi6aVAc?si=oe7NkqHrL4g1YL5e) to coerce women and girls into prostitution and keep them on the game in 1973. A few years later, she started the charity [Children of the Night](https://www.childrenofthenight.org/), which aims to get children and young people out of prostitution. Their 24/7 hotline number is 1-800-551-1300. Please call them. 🫶, Internet Auntie Tremynci EDIT: [Scarlateen](https://www.scarleteen.com/article/abuse_assault/why_i_deeply_dislike_your_older_boyfriend) has a great breakdown of why relationships like this make us Internet Aunties and Uncles so upset.
"He's not a predator, he's just my pimp" OP, do you hear yourself?!?!?!
I genuinely wonder what someone thinks predatory means I suppose someone who takes someone kicking and screaming
"there is nothing predatory going on" Proceeds to get literally trafficked
"i believe when he says he did it to make sure they really want me. He is ultra wealthy and has no need for that little money they would pay". He did do it for the money with zero regard or love for you, please believe us and escape.
He is not likely as wealthy as he’s portraying, did do it for the money, and probably got a lot more than he’s trying to pretend. This also sounds like it’s not the first time that he’s done this, and that he as other girls/ women that he’s pimping
I am so sorry this happen to you, sadly it is a predatory relationship due to the age gap and that you are not even in your 20s yet while this man is almost in his 50s. I know it maybe didnt seem like it if you felt like he treated you as his equal, but there is a huge difference in the way you two think and he knows this and uses it for his benefits to manipulate you. I just wanna say real quick: its not your fault at all, for thinking or feeling like this relationship isnt harmful and/or normal. Its very common that young women/girls get groomed by older men. Don't feel stupid (saw you comment this under someones comment) for trusting him and feeling like your relationship was a healthy and "normal" relationship and that he wasn't using you, because it isn't your fault. Please be careful when you decide to leave him. Ask an adult you trust for help and even contacting Women Resource Center. Best of luck 🫂
r/justnoagegap Girl, you are being pumped out, but you are portraying this relationship as if it's healthy and loving. There's a reason why this almost 50 year old man got with some who can't even legally drink. Normal men in their 40s look at you like you could be their kid, and wouldn't do this to you. He groomed you and is selling your body to strangers for his own profit. Dump him before he starts selling you to people who aren't so nice. Your life is in danger. This isn't a cute link - you are a prostitute and face all the dangers that come with it.
I truly hope this is an April fools prank.
I’m in deep agreement with all the other responses. Let us know if you need resources & more advice. Keep this to yourself to keep safe until you can leave him.
Just because age gap relationships are legal doesn't make them ethical. Everyone always thinks their relationship is different and that everything is ok and nobody is being used. Nobody with pure intentions over 25 years old is interested in a teenager. And no sane person over 30 is interested in people under 25.
Yet people in this sub continue to deny this and never fail to declare: “but they are 2 consenting adults” 🙄
And he's not with you because "you're so mature for your age," ladies. It's either because he's immature for his age, or he's a predator. There are no other reasons for that big of an age gap.
So there's nothing predatory going on, other than being pimped out. Gotcha.
Report to the police. I’m sorry you went through that. Be sure to have talked with a family member you trust, hopefully a therapist or social worker and then an attorney.
Got to wonder why he’s ultra wealthy. Chances are, he’s doing this with other girls, or other just as shady business. It might not be a lot of money now, but once he’s fully established control over you, it’s going to be a lot more money and a lot more “customers”. Be very careful, OP. You need to grab the essentials and get the hell out.
Agreed. Get out now and go far. Get tested for STIs ASAP. Stay safe
just reading the age gap made me gag. please get out of here, you have a whole life ahead of you ❤️
He went after you because he sensed that you would be a perfect gullible victim and he groomed you into thinking hooking up with other men would benefit you. You claiming there wasn't anything wrong with your age gap shows how naive you are. Get out of this relationship and do not look back before he gets you in a even more mess. This man does not care about your safety and will continue to lie to you just to make money off you.
Girl, that relationship wasn't real for him. He was just testing your boundaries and stretching them so you would believe in any shit he said and he would use you. Honestly, get out of here immediately. Don't ask for the money or he will get aggressive
OP, I was in a similar situation with my ex-husband. Much older man, seduced me from the age of about 16, we married at 18. By 19 he had me fucking his friends because he "liked to watch" I too enjoyed it, I too found out he was receiving payment from them without my knowledge. Luckily he didn't get violent about it or anything when confronted, but I put a stop to it shortly after. We are seperated now, just be careful.
Is this post for real? It seems a bit fantastical.
this is so fake and obvious rage bait.
'My (F18) boyfriend (M81) keeps asking me to dress up in bunny costumes and takes pictures, and sells them. Is this normal? Also, he's a millionaire and has 12 other girlfriends.'
It was the complete 180° in her attitude > OP: I'm being pimped out against my will, but I don't care, where's my money. > Everyone: You're being pimped out against your will > OP: OMG you're right! 😭 Come on people
I feel same specially the end part
This has to be ragebait 💀
Has to be right?! But we cant downvote it because it could still help other people and it might not be, but I'm not buying it
>He said it was only these last few times and he did it for them to prove that they really really want me. I don’t believe it was the last few times but i believe when he says he did it to make sure they really want me. He is ultra wealthy and has no need for that little money they would pay. You shouldn't believe him because it's an insane excuse that makes no sense.
You’re being trafficked
If this isn fake as fuck, you have just proven why age gap relationships ARE a problem, and ARE predatory.
Fake
I'm sorry that you were exploited and trafficked. I hope you can get the help and support you need to heal. He doesn't love you and he never did. He is a predator and you were the prey. And you should not be comfortable with such an age gap. Have more respect for yourself.
OP, can you please update us when you’re free? We’re worried about you. I hope you get out safely and are in a better place now - or have a plan to do this soon.
What you are describing is a very common pimping / sex trafficking method. They basically love bomb you and make you dependent on them or other things they offer until they casually move you to prostitution. It started with his regular or trusted Johns and it has now moved to strangers. Your 1 on 1 sex will probably drop off soon as he moves on to recruiting a new girl. I would highly recommend leaving. I would also not tell him you are leaving or where you are going. I would do this when he is expected to be out. If he is known to family or friends I would also make sure they know not to give out your location.
You are being sex trafficked. Run
“There’s nothing predatory going on” *immediately describes the most predatory situation a young woman can be involved in*
" I have this over half my age older dude who pimps me out, but the relationship is great and we love each other, there are no predatory things happening" What the fuck, where is your parents?! How do you actually think this is normal behaviour?! I fucking hope this is fake because this shit is so sad
I've read that you already now know what the situation is. 1- I'm so sorry this happened to you! Nobody deserves to be played like this. 2- PLEASE UPDATE US WHEN YOU'VE SAFELY REMOVED THIS PERSON FROM YOUR LIFE. AND PLEASE INFORM YOUR CLOSED LOVED ONES IMMEDIATELY, SO THAT YOU STAY SAFE. I wish you all the best in your life moving forward. Stay safe.
I like how you start and try to explain that everything is healthy while your partner sells you to other men. Get out of there asap.
What did i just read. Why she can’t understand they are using her. This is sad af
Get out. NOW. Don’t confront him, you could put yourself in even more danger. Just leave quietly. And yes, the age gap *is* a huge problem, it is predatory. A 45 year old grown ass man has nothing in common with a 19 year old. You were groomed, you are a victim.
You’re 19 and he’s 45 being sexually coerced into things you don’t want to do. The age gap and your naivety is why he’s praying on. Run and tell the police what he was doing
Bruh, a man in his mid 40’s being interested in a 19 year old is already a huge red flag. You’re the same age as my sister and my dad is the same age as him. Age is not just a number in that kind of situation. You’re a teenager and he’s 26 years older than you.
I'm sorry, honey, but yes. You were. He's what they call a Romeo pimp. I'm so sorry your trust was betrayed that way, and relieved that you didn't experience any physical abuse. Please leave this man ASAP. Quietly as you can. Get your phone, your id and debit card/any cash you can grab, and go.
This is further proof that your brain really isn’t finished fully developing until your early 20s atleast. Great relationship for a while? Lmfao what is that like 4 months?
You’re a child and an adult has tricked you in to trafficking. He is making money off of your body, your organs. Fucking RUN and tip off the police
"Nothing predatory going on" - proceeds to describe textbook sex trafficking.
"there is nothing predatory going on" - girl you're being trafficked. Please do not tackle this alone, get some support. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
I love how you say there is nothing predatory in the first paragraph only to go on to explain about how you are about to be sold for sex.
Imagine thinking “the 26 year old age gap is something we are comfortable with and not predatory” No 45yo man has any real interest in a 19 year old girl other than their ability to control them. You have zero power in the relationship and never will.
That title and that age gap lmao nah, this is a fake one (ChatGPT is not good with numbers)
You're 19 and you've been with him "for a while now". You realise that the reason people object to large age gaps in relationships is because the younger partner often doesn't possess the maturity to know that they have been groomed?