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I had to cut out my father I'm 26 my father is almost 60 I believe. My situation is verry complicated I won't explain everything in full detail but for context I lived with him and worked for him in his business for 7 years. For a long time I kept telling myself he had my best interest in mind but he didn't. I went through financial manipulation for years which held me back in life I was always the person at fault, I was always wrong or fucked up in every argument situation I was always the problem or atleast that's how he made everything look. And I have always been a calm person I handle things pretty simply and calmly bc I don't like confrontation where as he's loud aggressive and just mentally abusive. On my way out I set my boundaries verry verry reasonable yet needed boundaries, he worked me 7 days a week for 2 to 3 months straight at times (painting houses) and when I decided not to allow that I was somehow the problem. I had to explain my situation in depth to a few ppl to actually see that I was being mistreated and my feelings were justified. I fell into alcoholism for 5 of those 7 years deeling with him and bc I was so mentally fucked from my miserable life situation and my drinking I couldn't even see that I had a real problem. I now do not speak to my father, there's multiple ppl who try to get me to fix things but I refuse and I don't think I will ever go back. When everything was said and done he threw a pitty party and made me sound like the bad guy. I did my best to just simply tell him how I felt about everything while also keeping his feelings in mind and after that I worked with him in silence bc he refused to speek too me for about 2 months before I decided to quit and get out. I have now in a year and a half achieved more things than I knew I was capable of he was always holding me down I am now happy, I have taken control of my drinking, and my gfs family is like my new family. I do not know ur full situation with your father and I could tell u so much more about the bs my father put me through, but the reason I told u all of this is bc I think u need to hear from someone else that if ur father truely makes ur life difficult and actually causes harm to ur mental well-being then u have the right to tell everyone else to fuck off. If u feel staying away from ur father is what is simply best for u, your mental well-being, happiness, and all around quality of life then don't let others manipulate u into thinking otherwise.
Sorry for the long drawn out story I just felt the more I shared the more I might be able to help also sorry for spelling errors and shitty punctuation wrighting is not my strongsuit
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I had to cut out my father I'm 26 my father is almost 60 I believe. My situation is verry complicated I won't explain everything in full detail but for context I lived with him and worked for him in his business for 7 years. For a long time I kept telling myself he had my best interest in mind but he didn't. I went through financial manipulation for years which held me back in life I was always the person at fault, I was always wrong or fucked up in every argument situation I was always the problem or atleast that's how he made everything look. And I have always been a calm person I handle things pretty simply and calmly bc I don't like confrontation where as he's loud aggressive and just mentally abusive. On my way out I set my boundaries verry verry reasonable yet needed boundaries, he worked me 7 days a week for 2 to 3 months straight at times (painting houses) and when I decided not to allow that I was somehow the problem. I had to explain my situation in depth to a few ppl to actually see that I was being mistreated and my feelings were justified. I fell into alcoholism for 5 of those 7 years deeling with him and bc I was so mentally fucked from my miserable life situation and my drinking I couldn't even see that I had a real problem. I now do not speak to my father, there's multiple ppl who try to get me to fix things but I refuse and I don't think I will ever go back. When everything was said and done he threw a pitty party and made me sound like the bad guy. I did my best to just simply tell him how I felt about everything while also keeping his feelings in mind and after that I worked with him in silence bc he refused to speek too me for about 2 months before I decided to quit and get out. I have now in a year and a half achieved more things than I knew I was capable of he was always holding me down I am now happy, I have taken control of my drinking, and my gfs family is like my new family. I do not know ur full situation with your father and I could tell u so much more about the bs my father put me through, but the reason I told u all of this is bc I think u need to hear from someone else that if ur father truely makes ur life difficult and actually causes harm to ur mental well-being then u have the right to tell everyone else to fuck off. If u feel staying away from ur father is what is simply best for u, your mental well-being, happiness, and all around quality of life then don't let others manipulate u into thinking otherwise. Sorry for the long drawn out story I just felt the more I shared the more I might be able to help also sorry for spelling errors and shitty punctuation wrighting is not my strongsuit
Don't tell your sister that you're not sure you want to go, tell her you're not going. You don't have to convince anyone but yourself.