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I don’t think that she saw this deep like you. She was probably very happy and just continued with her stuff. I wouldn’t break up that quick.. just talk with her and tell her how you felt about this and see what she says. I am sure you guys can work that out.
Based on how most folks this age treat dating (source-am this age) her reaction was probably like that because she assumed that she was already her girlfriend
You should probably just chill? You like this girl, she is your girlfriend now, maybe go play minecraft with her? If you break up with her now what was the point of asking
Dude, you didn't have a plan after. I would understand that you're upset if you asked her to dinner or something and she instead started playing Minecraft, but you popped the question with no follow up plan. That's on you.
After dating my girl for a month, I told her we need to DTR. I told her I wanted her to be my girlfriend. She looked confused and said “I thought I already was?”
Maybe that’s what happened here?
It’s not a big deal because she already considered herself your girlfriend.
It sounds like you asked her while she was already in a Session or atleast arranged with a friend to play minecraft. If thats the case you just choose a terrible time to ask her to be your gf.
Why right away jump to breaking up? What ever happened to talking about what's bothering you with your partner? It's almost like people these days just love the drama of a break up.. if you're really into this person, maybe u should ask yourself if all of this is really worth a breakup ....
She’s clearly having an issue feeling vulnerable. It feels easier to just call it off yourself. Literally asking for advice, meaning she at least knew that she might not be reacting in her own best interest and had the wherewithal to seek aid and perspective.
Life isn’t a movie. Most of us go out, talk through nights, hang around and just kinda are together at some point. Becoming official and exclusive usually isn’t that big of a show. It’s ofc an at that time important butterfly belly feeling kind of thing but still not that big of a deal.
You also kinda messed it up yourself bc why didn’t you just ask her when she’s free beforehand to then have her whole attention? Instead you jump her out of nowhere and now sulk bc she was already busy. If you want a perfect moment, make sure that nothing gets in the way.
And why did you want to date her if something so minor makes you question everything anyway? Does she make you feel insecure? Do you not feel appreciated? Do you expect different things from a relationship?
I‘d just talk it out if I was you.
I don't understand. What changed after you asked that question, are you exclusive now? Do you live together? Did she ignore you to play minecraft while you were visiting?
Yeahs we are exclusive now. We are at my house just chilling I went out and bought flowers as i wanted to ask her to be my girlfriend. I didn't know she was in a call with someone as she didn't say and wasn't on her laptop. After i asked she said yes and gave me a hug but then instantly went gaming. Also her friend heard me asking her to be my girlfriend as I had no idea she was in call
Sounds like she was already in a call with her friend because they agreed to game after you left, so she didn't want to leave them hanging. It's also possible this wasn't a huge relationship milestone for her and you kinda asked her at an awkward time.
I'm assuming it's not strange or rude of her to be in a call gaming at your house without telling you?
You’re both a bit socially off lol. You for not making sure you were alone and planning better. Her for not explaining anything about what’s going on or why she went and played right after.
Imagine she wasn't gaming but doing laundry instead. Would you pop in the middle of the chore and declare your undying love or something? This isn't much different.
There is a time and a place, spontaneous flowers are sweet and nice but have some class. A planned date would be in order, to have a memorable day doing things together that you loved and a romantic setting at the end. Something she could look back to in 10-30 years from now with nostalgia and found memories. Like you could have done that a top a ferris wheel, or a nice sunset picnic in some nice hideaway, maybe even a spa day and going to her favourite place to eat or cooking together? If you thought it was an important milestone why didn't you treat it as such?
I was about to say that damn y’all treat becoming official with quite the importance. But you’re right if she felt it was that important she should’ve probably made it also feel that important for everyone. Her gf might just think it’s more of an administrative thing than anything.
Like one could keep it simple, do it after a dinner and movie at home or like a nice cuddle session with music or something but I really don't get people who do it without the romance aspect. I would be sad if that's how I got with my partner, just in the middle of gaming. It feels like a spontaneous afterthought
If I asked a girl to be my gf and she said yes that's a pretty big win you should be proud. If you wanted more attention then plan a date. If it's constantly one sided then express yourself to her and ask why she never initiates 1 on 1 time with you.
This is the problem with questions) asking for advice on anywhere, let alone Reddit.
Humans are complicated, inside and out, and everyone has a different personality, and thoughts etc etc, this could be anything from she's an asshole that is just playing with your emotions, to she has no concept of what a relationship really is or what above said, to she just felt pressured in the moment.
People here don't know anymore information to be able to help, and even if they did even then they are most likely wrong. No one knows her, you do, you have to be able to use your own mind to come to a conclusion, instead of asking random people about a situation they know extremely little about.
She might not have known that she was being asked to forgo plans with a friend for this. I mean it was an important question, but we don’t know the relationship she has with her friend, how long the plans were in the making, etc. I mean, even as someone with autism and adhd, a question like this would prompt me to find out what our plans were and tell the friend on Minecraft that I have to go, explain what happened, and tell them we can make plans later. I still wouldn't just shut my laptop and go about my way, but I would try to communicate with all parties.
this is very well thought and the correct way of going about this. OP is the only person that holds all the context and can interact with her partner to get an understanding on what to do
Or has plans to play Minecraft with a friend and should not be expected to drop everything because ~~bf~~ gf is feeling needy?
Honestly might have just been the wrong time to ask, or it might be social ineptitude, or it might be Minecraft addiction. No way to know with the limited info in the post, but no reason to jump to it being a her problem.
Edit: BF to GF, sorry my heteronormative biases peeked out, didn't mean to misgender OP
Did gf know they weren’t already a couple? When my husband approached the subject with me he seemed nervous and I was like “sir, we’ve been dating for a few months now, I’m glad you want to make it official though” and we kept playing darts.
She shouldn’t have to cancel her plans but becoming ‘official’ as a couple isn’t nothing. She could have at least spent 5 minutes talking with her gf and then explaining that she had plans with a friend so she will go play MC now
I don't play Minecraft - so I am not sure if there were specific events or if you can easily walk away for a few minutes.
You are right, generally taking 5 minutes to chat about it is the best option, and I am guessing OP was nervous and excited - which doesn't lend to being situationally aware to notice gf was on a call. Maybe needy is a bit harsh from that perspective. I wasn't trying to say that OP is that, just that it is one of the possible scenarios given the limited info on a Reddit post.
Becoming official is not nothing to everyone for sure, but I have had relationships where we just kind of fell into being official because we enjoyed each other's company and weren't dating anyone else - it can be nothing to some people in some situations. That doesn't diminish the importance of the relationship, it just means one partner already ascribed that level of importance to it without needing to formalize it. People put different levels of importance on things being official and that doesn't mean they care less necessarily.
I mean that's not an excuse for not communicating.
I'm both neurodivergent and socially inept but still, when I struggle with something I try to communicate, for example I don't personally need to spend time with the other person to bond with them, I mean actually yes but what I mean is that I can also bond by sharing my space, even if we're not actually doing anything together and to me that's also a sign of affection but I am always like that, and of course I'm aware of that and with people who are not like that, I try to communicate as much as possible or try to find a compromise.
Maybe she's not aware of her diversity at this point....
Wait so, you've been dating for 2 months, and you only just now asked her out? I'm kinda lost here... and it explains her reaction, because you basically haven't changed anything? You're still just dating, now you simply put a label on it which for all we know she may have already assumed was in place.
But like, maybe just talk to her about it? Why do people just not talk about things like this
Some people get really obssed with the label.
Ive got two friends who stay over at each other's house, sleep together, go on cute dates together, always show up to friend group outings together, and do not sleep with or date anyone else.
But they are FAST to clarify and declare they ARE NOT DATING. They are not boyfriend and girlfriend! Just friends!
We have been dating and we have been on multiple dates already today I asked her to go from dating to an official relation ship as gf and gf we have been very open about what we both thought about the relation ship and both agreed that we where not official unless someone asked. I agree with you and I'll talk with her about it when we are alone together. Thank you for the advice!
I think you are taking this too much to heart, nothing really changes by putting a label on it. If you are considering ending it for this reason then my god you aren't ready for a relationship.
Communicate!
It like he is feeling overwhelmed by the label and its implications. Remember, labels don't define the relationship's value. Communication is key; discussing your feelings openly can help clarify where you both stand and what you both want moving forward.
You said she went back into discord. So does this mean, that she was already on a call with someone, when you asked her? She could have told her friends to wait, but I also understand that she was already commited to a social interaction in this case. Maybe just talk with her about that, why she did that and what your expectations were. You want to have a relationship with each other, so you should talk with each other and not ask strangers.
Yep she was already in a call about to play with a friend but he wanted her to drop everything and everyone because he decided that moment needed to be about him and now he wants to break up with her because she didn't get on her hands and knees. OP needs to grow up.
From her point of view, you walked in from shopping and asked her a highly personal question while she was on a video call.
I get it, you didn’t realize she was already on a call. But it did totally change the dynamic of what you apparently thought would be an important, romantic event.
You need to talk to your GF but also on your end maybe take a moment to read the room before springing important conversations on people.
Ugghhhh, okay 🤨 I understand where you’re coming from, wanting to have a bonding moment. But if you just left the air open after and didn’t ask her to do something that’s not her fault for misunderstanding your intentions.
This whole “asking” people to be your significant other with a gift or token, is a new fad. Up until a few years ago this wasn’t a thing. People would date for a few weeks and then just agree to be exclusive and that they were dating together.
I think that you may have had expectations for this situation in your head and they just didn’t end up being what you wanted 🤷🏻♀️ not your gfs fault. Just sounds like a lack of clear communication.
She maybe thought you guys were already bf and gf and she was just like, cool, vibed with it for a second and then went back to the endless dopamine revolving door we live in.
Just talk to her about it, probably doesn’t mean anything and I’m sure she’s want to know your feelings may have been hurt.
I mean… legitimately asking: what tf kind of reaction were you expecting? What is the proper response/response time for your Officially Dating™️? Should she have tearfully called her parents with you on the line to share the good news?
Is this your first relationship?
You need to grow the fuck up. You are young, as is she. If you two started to date two months ago, and you're just now asking her to be your girlfriend?! Did you not do so two months ago?
(Make this make sense to me OP). Because dating means you two are together, in all the senses of the word.
If she was playing Minecraft with a friend when you asked it makes sense to go back to playing Minecraft, finish whatever she was doing and then go back to you. You barely know each other. You have been dating and you are still going to be dating. Not much changes. She might not see it as a big deal perhaps because she's already in that head space.
Well for now you are learning each other’s habits, video games can play a big role in someone’s life, but as you spend more time together you can see if it will cause an issue, but 1 occasion i would not make much out of. Do you have a hobby that you can pursue while she plays videogames? Or is it possible to sometimes share this hobby of hers our your together? What i found is that my videogame habit was also unusual for my then gf, now wife, it toke some time but she understood its not just like watching a movie but a bond with friends and could be a serious hobby. Sometimes we play together but i have my own friend group who i play on a bit more competitive level too.
While i do that she is either working, working out, or watching/reading. Everyone need time for themselves even in a relationship too.
Did you try asking her to spend time together?
The only red flag here is how quick you were to jump to abandoning this relationship, without even a conversation, over the tiniest thing.
Back into discord? As in she was already involved in something, was interrupted, and went back into it?
Also, the timing is all over. She was your girlfriend of two months and then you asked her to be your girlfriend?
I think she probably assumed you guys were already an item, and her saying yes seemed unnecessary.
Just talk to her, clear things up.
Sounds like she may have already thought you were or wasn’t that surprised by the question and didn’t think of it as big a deal as you had prepared for. It’s okay to be disappointed, but she wasn’t aware of the expectations and that’s also okay.
Timing is everything. Ideally you would have asked her when you two were having an intimate moment or on a date etc. It’s kind of weird for someone to ask that when the other person is chilling.
Sometimes it helps to flag when you want to discuss something important. Like “hey do you have a moment. I want to discuss something.”
I don’t know how many times my boyfriends have decided that the best time to launch into a discussion is when I walk past to use the toilet or when I announce that I am going to sleep or when I am driving. It’s not ideal.
She might be autistic or just weird. Try talking to her about it, let her know how it made you feel. If keeps doing stuff like this ou should consider breaking up tho
So you selfishly interrupted her game with her friend to ask her out, which she said yes, then you are mad because she continued doing what she was already doing before you interrupted her? She doesn’t owe you a big reaction or time when she is already doing something. Asking someone out isnt that deep or big. You’re acting controlling of her reactions. If you don’t like then break up so she doesn’t have to live like that, you gatekeeping her emotions and time.
I would be maybe a little taken aback. It feels like a big deal to you, you want to celebrate the moment. But, consider that she might not be as into "moments". Some people aren't. When I met my most recent partner, I kept wanting to try to create "moments" but they always fell flat. And I figured out that she didn't really see them the same way I did. That's not a problem, I just had to adjust expectations. I still got my moments, we just didnt share that experience in the same way, and that's OK. She had other ways of reveling in our love.
Bruh don’t break up with her. She probably enjoys playing the game , was happy you asked her to DATE and after the moment was done she probably wanted you to hop on your game and jam out with her. She probably didn’t mean anything by it
If she was in the middle of playing a video game with a friend and talking on discord you think of it like say a phone call. You interrupted her phone call, she gave you appropriate attention and an answer and then went back to the friend she was currently spending time talking to. That’s my thought at least. Just because it’s gaming doesn’t mean it’s not socially equivalent to being mid hangout or phone call with a friend. Set up a date or something for devoted time together if you feel that moment was lacking, but the choice of when to ask was probably more at fault then her returning to what she had been mid doing. Also breaking up over that is wild esp ruminating on it for weeks. Try to reframe it, that was her friend time and she diverted attention from them for you in that moment, that shows she sees you as important, but still going back to her friend so they also know they’re still important during their time together is a plus as well. She sounds like a good person.
I mean you went home asked her and then that was that, no other plan was made. She figured that was the end of it and just went about her business afterwards. I’m sure she’s happy, she said yes after all. You just never made it clear with additional plans afterwards like “let’s go out to dinner together, or have a little date night type of thing”
Sounds to me like you couldn’t just tell her you wanted to spend time together and can she play later ….. just because she didn’t do what you would have done doesn’t mean she didn’t appreciate it you said she was happy
She just thinks differently part of being in a relationship is accepting each other’s different headspace and meeting in the middle n she couldn’t do that because you didn’t tell her
She probably already figured you were that serious in her head, so you saying that to her was like, "well duh, we've already been a couple for a while!"
Communicate with her. Tell her calmly and nicely her reaction surprised you because you thought it was a big deal and she seemed to not care
Legit talk here - have a conversation "Hey, so, no judg3ment, but I was kind of hoping we might do a little more celebrating than video games today. I'm really excited to be with you and I hoped we might go on a date, or a walk, or whatever. Oh shit, is that the nether realm?"
You should tell her that you'd like to spend time with her, but don’t make her feel guilty for playing Minecraft. Don’t get upset at her just because you didn’t voice your wants to her. Communication is key. My bf actually encourages me to play Minecraft, and he often plays a game while I’m doing that. Y'all can have hobbies that you do at the same time, you don’t have to do everything together just because you’re hanging out.
i wouldn’t read into it too much, it sounds like coping. don’t think about it.
if anything maybe figuring out her play style would give some insight. for example if she’s in creative mode just destroying shit, maybe that’s her way of getting out all her excitement about the relationship.
I'm sorry, I've read your post twice but I'm deeply confused. She's your girlfriend you said. And you asked her to be your girlfriend..? Is it just me or does this make no sense?
take a deep breath. This may be a disappointing reaction for you but it is not relationship ending!
A healthy relationship needs good communication. This is a great opportunity to start things off on the right foot. Go for a walk together (away from devices) and speak to her about it. Tell her how excited or whatever you were to ask her to be your gf and then tell her how her reaction made you feel. Open up the lines of honest communication with her right from the start. Be kind and honest.
Stick to explaining how it made you feel "when this happend it made me feel xyz" for example as opposed to "you did this or you didn't do that". Those 'You did this' statements can feel like attacks when you'r on the receiving end and will make her defensive which will shut down all communication and take you no where but break up town in the long run.
Perhaps she isn't aware of how important this was to you. So many misunderstandings in relationships happen b/c the couple don't communicate or their expectations are mismatched. Don't be afraid to tell your gf what you need from your partner, people can't read your mind.
If you dump someone every time they don't react the way you want or expect, you will be doing a lot of breaking up in your future dating life.
All the best and good luck :)
I’d maybe try to calmly talk to her about it. My brother has had a pretty solid gaming group for 15+ years now. One of the members got married a couple months back and has gone from gaming with them multiple nights a week to one four hour block a week. He is absolutely unreachable during that four hour block to everyone but his girlfriend. Maybe there’s a reason she felt she couldn’t leave this friend in that moment, she could even be neurodivergent or lack some social skills here. There could be so many reasons you two didn’t connect in that moment.
I understand why you feel this way though. It does seem odd and your feelings are definitely valid. You seemed really excited for this relationship so throwing it away immediately would be a shame but I’d probably keep an eye out for any other potential red flags just in case.
Given the information provided, with no ill intentions meant by me, may I ask if she is neurodivergent?
If so, there’s a good chance she pseudo-cognitively did this as a coping mechanism in response to her excitement/dopamine response to the situation.
Honestly, she could just be a socially awkward person. My bf and I have been together for 2 years and him asking me out was as awkward as this lol. It was technically our first official date (we had been going on dates for months but this was the first time either of us actually called it a date), and we went bowling with his friends. We were waiting our turns and he had his arm around me and he asked “so like what would you think of me calling you my gf and you calling me your bf?” I told him that I would like that. About 10 seconds later he responds with “you know I was asking you out right?” I said yes. Another 10 seconds later he goes “and that was a yes right?” 2 years later he’s just as awkward, and I found out he asked me to be his gf that day cuz his best friend told him to shit or get off the pot lol. My bf may be a social butterfly, but he’s also a bit of an idiot when it comes to any kind of a relationship with someone. There’s a chance your gf could be the same way. Honestly the best thing you can do is just ask what was going through her mind in that moment cuz it confused you.
If you've been dating for 2 months she's been your girlfriend for 2 months that's what dating is. She probably just thought you were asking to use a label since you're already girlfriends.
Dude slow down
U just might have gem in the ruff man, shit don't happen over night
Take her attention walk in the naked after you ate a bluechew do something be original
Don't just get mad brkup
You were fine with this behavior before what gives now?
I had a similar experience. I dated a guy back in college that would play world of Warcraft pretty much every day and when we were together. I put up with it for only 2 months and I inevitably ended the relationship because it was not working for me. No shame to him for wanting to spend his time that way, but it’s not how I want to be treated within a relationship. I felt the game was more important to him than our relationship was.
Was she playing Minecraft before you asked her to be official? If it was such a big moment for you, why not make it more special. Like go out for dinner and then ask the question.. instead of it being a random day living life.
I wouldn’t think too much into it. My boyfriend asked me to make it official while we were watching a movie. He asked, I accepted; and we went back to watching the movie.
Maybe you can look up the 5 Languages of Love. Sounds like one of yours is either Quality Time or maybe Physical Touch. Figure out what her top 2 languages are, let her know and see if she is willing to give you more of what you need. But mostly, it sounds like she wanted a place where she could play unlimited amounts of Minecraft. Let her know you need more in your relationship than just watching her play Minecraft but I doubt she really cares as she is getting what she wants. You only have 2 months invested so best to end it and find someone who wants to spend actual time with you.
Were you already acting like bf and gf at that point? Why ask her whens he was playing minecraft and not set up a time to have a discussion when she wasn't distracted if it was important to you? How have you discussed this with her or what did you say when she turned back to the game? It seems like you need to speak up more.
Some people just don’t deal well with big emotions or complicated social situations, and she might be one of them. Try talking to her about it before jumping straight to breaking up.
Regardless of the reason for her doing this, and there are a lot of potential options here, I think what matters is that it's clear that her reaction hurt you and so it'd be a good idea to talk to her about it. My advice is to try to approach it as much as possible from the perspective of this being an honest miscommunication or misunderstanding, rather than something done deliberately or without care for you. If she's someone you thought worthy of dating then it's a good idea to give her the benefit of the doubt -- she presumably cares about you and it will matter to her that your feelings were hurt.
If, after talking, you still feel like your feelings aren't being prioritized then that's a good time to reassess things and do a little soul searching.
Yeah sounds like she’s got a touch of the tysm. Probably a lot of the qualities you like in her come from that fact. Take the bad with the good and learn to communicate literally
Pull out a laptop and play with her. I don't see this as an issue, you are likely looking into this too deeply. If she continues to blow you off and do something without you then that's a red flag but right now I think you'll be fine.
Bro you gotta chill, this is not that deep. It sounds like she was already in the middle of something, whether you thought so or not, and you did nothing to communicate what expectations, if any, you had after you asked her.
If you wanna spend time together, plan something with her. Include her on the plan making process.. Don't spring something with undefined expectations on someone when they're in the middle of something and then get upset when they don't respond how you expected.
This sounds so tiresome.
Without knowing you or your girlfriend, my perspective assumption would be that: 2 months in a relationship would be long enough to have a sense of “normalcy”, and that being in a mutually respectful relationship, in this case, girlfriend and girlfriend, was already assumed at an earlier point for her before you mentioned it.
Since she went to play Minecraft directly afterward, I assume you’re living together, or that spending passive time together is a regular act, not that you only meet up ONLY for normal dates. There might be several night ins, and again, this is just my assumption from my experiences.
If it really bothers you, I’d recommend just talking to her, and avoiding getting too many suggestions online. Human to human/face to face communication is important, and this early on in a relationship, in my opinion, it is CRUCIAL to establish where you are emotionally with each other before you both end up “wasting each others’ time”
She was already doing something and paused and wanted to resume so she didn’t come across as rude, I’d be willing to bet that’s what it is! Breaking up over something so trivial, honestly, that is BEYOND childish. I’m not trying to be rude, but in a relationship, you talk, you communicate. Over time, obstacles come up, miscommunication, human error, differences of personality and opinion, little triggers, annoying habits they have, etc. will occur, and it is up to YOU and HER to use the key to a relationship, which is communication, to ensure things work out - but you have to be willing to work for it!
My husband and I will be together for 8 years, married for 5 come August, and we have a 2 1/2 year old son! Things come up often, we discuss them calmly and rationally, we take turns, and we do our best to ensure we hear one another. IF we are frustrated or mad, we have learned to compose ourselves and hash it out when our son is asleep or in another room. It takes time! Do your best if you love her.
What else should she do?
Cry and call everyone to tell them this great news?
Open the window and shout out to the whole world “OP is my official boyfriend now!!!”
Immediately kneel down and start sucking your dick as a gesture for happiness?
Send a group Zoom link to all the other guys she was seeing and announce to them she has a boyfriend now?
Immediately demand you to send out messages to all your female friends and tell them you are her boyfriend now and change all the status on all social media from “single” to “in relationship”?
Slap you on your face hard then kiss you passionately, then look deeply into your eyes and say “For God’s sake, what took you so long!”
Personally I would just play Minecraft too bc it sounds like you both share this.
I don’t know why this is so upsetting that you want to break up. She was happy that you acknowledged you want to be in a relationship with her, and when the moment was over she went and did something else. It doesn’t sound like you made other plans. Go build a bad ass couples house together. Run a discord server as a couple. That sounds super fun
😂😂😂😂😂😂 sorry but this is hilarious. I get where you’re coming from but I get where she’s coming from too. Maybe you just picked a bad moment to ask her
Apparently, she's not going to be as invested in being your gf as you are in being her bf. I would not expect things to progress with this one. Her actions tell you what you need to know.
Take a chill 💊pill, can’t think about dumping her over what might be a small thing all the time. Look at the big picture and don’t dwell on the pixels !
Ur gonna let that little thing bother you? Then buckle up bc at 42 I have been thru stuff with my partners… worse things are gonna happen and from People you will probably love more than this girl. You seem to be overreacting. What will you do when she is playing with her friends a little too much or they are getting a little flirty? The ish will then hit the fan. Let her know your expectations so she won’t disappoint you so bad.
Bro am I reading this right? Your girlfriend played a game and now you’re considering instantly breaking up with her? Even though you literally say yourself that she was already in the discord call when you got back? Honestly. Maybe you aren’t ready for a relationship. Cuz that’s actually a fucking ridiculous reaction to the non-existent problem you’ve laid out here which is “my gf had hobbies even AFTER I asked her to be my gf”
She may have already thought of you as her boyfriend, so making it official was just a formality to her. What did you expect in the moment? You said she seemed happy about it. Is there something specific you were hoping she would do that she didn’t?
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I don’t think that she saw this deep like you. She was probably very happy and just continued with her stuff. I wouldn’t break up that quick.. just talk with her and tell her how you felt about this and see what she says. I am sure you guys can work that out.
Based on how most folks this age treat dating (source-am this age) her reaction was probably like that because she assumed that she was already her girlfriend
there might have been a misunderstanding about the nature of the relationship
Best response
Also, maybe a stupid question, but maybe she had already told her friend she would play Minecraft at that time. Did OP set aside the time to tell her?
I feel like prior commitments to others are often overlooked. I'm glad you mentioned that that this could be a possibility
Maybe she went looking for diamonds for you.
Cook!
Craft!
You should probably just chill? You like this girl, she is your girlfriend now, maybe go play minecraft with her? If you break up with her now what was the point of asking
Dude, you didn't have a plan after. I would understand that you're upset if you asked her to dinner or something and she instead started playing Minecraft, but you popped the question with no follow up plan. That's on you.
After dating my girl for a month, I told her we need to DTR. I told her I wanted her to be my girlfriend. She looked confused and said “I thought I already was?” Maybe that’s what happened here? It’s not a big deal because she already considered herself your girlfriend.
DTR?
I’m a fossil. I think it’s “define the relationship.”
Ohhhh! I was struggling there, thank you
It sounds like you asked her while she was already in a Session or atleast arranged with a friend to play minecraft. If thats the case you just choose a terrible time to ask her to be your gf.
I came home with flowers and she wasn't at her laptop and there was no sign that she was in a vc at the moment or even playing anything
Alright then just talk to her. I absolutely see my girlfriend doing the same and I love her for that. Don't expect the worst. :)
Thank you really needed to hear that! I'll talk to her ;)
Why right away jump to breaking up? What ever happened to talking about what's bothering you with your partner? It's almost like people these days just love the drama of a break up.. if you're really into this person, maybe u should ask yourself if all of this is really worth a breakup ....
She’s clearly having an issue feeling vulnerable. It feels easier to just call it off yourself. Literally asking for advice, meaning she at least knew that she might not be reacting in her own best interest and had the wherewithal to seek aid and perspective.
Maybe she thought you meant "In Minecraft" lol
Life isn’t a movie. Most of us go out, talk through nights, hang around and just kinda are together at some point. Becoming official and exclusive usually isn’t that big of a show. It’s ofc an at that time important butterfly belly feeling kind of thing but still not that big of a deal. You also kinda messed it up yourself bc why didn’t you just ask her when she’s free beforehand to then have her whole attention? Instead you jump her out of nowhere and now sulk bc she was already busy. If you want a perfect moment, make sure that nothing gets in the way. And why did you want to date her if something so minor makes you question everything anyway? Does she make you feel insecure? Do you not feel appreciated? Do you expect different things from a relationship? I‘d just talk it out if I was you.
I don't understand. What changed after you asked that question, are you exclusive now? Do you live together? Did she ignore you to play minecraft while you were visiting?
Yeahs we are exclusive now. We are at my house just chilling I went out and bought flowers as i wanted to ask her to be my girlfriend. I didn't know she was in a call with someone as she didn't say and wasn't on her laptop. After i asked she said yes and gave me a hug but then instantly went gaming. Also her friend heard me asking her to be my girlfriend as I had no idea she was in call
Sounds like she was already in a call with her friend because they agreed to game after you left, so she didn't want to leave them hanging. It's also possible this wasn't a huge relationship milestone for her and you kinda asked her at an awkward time. I'm assuming it's not strange or rude of her to be in a call gaming at your house without telling you?
You’re both a bit socially off lol. You for not making sure you were alone and planning better. Her for not explaining anything about what’s going on or why she went and played right after.
Well that changes the game, just ask her and she'll probably explain what was going on in her mind at that moment
Imagine she wasn't gaming but doing laundry instead. Would you pop in the middle of the chore and declare your undying love or something? This isn't much different. There is a time and a place, spontaneous flowers are sweet and nice but have some class. A planned date would be in order, to have a memorable day doing things together that you loved and a romantic setting at the end. Something she could look back to in 10-30 years from now with nostalgia and found memories. Like you could have done that a top a ferris wheel, or a nice sunset picnic in some nice hideaway, maybe even a spa day and going to her favourite place to eat or cooking together? If you thought it was an important milestone why didn't you treat it as such?
I was about to say that damn y’all treat becoming official with quite the importance. But you’re right if she felt it was that important she should’ve probably made it also feel that important for everyone. Her gf might just think it’s more of an administrative thing than anything.
Like one could keep it simple, do it after a dinner and movie at home or like a nice cuddle session with music or something but I really don't get people who do it without the romance aspect. I would be sad if that's how I got with my partner, just in the middle of gaming. It feels like a spontaneous afterthought
If I asked a girl to be my gf and she said yes that's a pretty big win you should be proud. If you wanted more attention then plan a date. If it's constantly one sided then express yourself to her and ask why she never initiates 1 on 1 time with you.
You already wanting to break up with her is a sign that perhaps, you are not ready to be in a relationship.
maybe she's neurodivergent? Or just socially inept?
This is the problem with questions) asking for advice on anywhere, let alone Reddit. Humans are complicated, inside and out, and everyone has a different personality, and thoughts etc etc, this could be anything from she's an asshole that is just playing with your emotions, to she has no concept of what a relationship really is or what above said, to she just felt pressured in the moment. People here don't know anymore information to be able to help, and even if they did even then they are most likely wrong. No one knows her, you do, you have to be able to use your own mind to come to a conclusion, instead of asking random people about a situation they know extremely little about.
She might not have known that she was being asked to forgo plans with a friend for this. I mean it was an important question, but we don’t know the relationship she has with her friend, how long the plans were in the making, etc. I mean, even as someone with autism and adhd, a question like this would prompt me to find out what our plans were and tell the friend on Minecraft that I have to go, explain what happened, and tell them we can make plans later. I still wouldn't just shut my laptop and go about my way, but I would try to communicate with all parties.
this is very well thought and the correct way of going about this. OP is the only person that holds all the context and can interact with her partner to get an understanding on what to do
Nah, it's either divorce or breakup no other options
[удалено]
Not enough of questions here where that’s the answer :/
Deep bro
That was thought too.
Or has plans to play Minecraft with a friend and should not be expected to drop everything because ~~bf~~ gf is feeling needy? Honestly might have just been the wrong time to ask, or it might be social ineptitude, or it might be Minecraft addiction. No way to know with the limited info in the post, but no reason to jump to it being a her problem. Edit: BF to GF, sorry my heteronormative biases peeked out, didn't mean to misgender OP
Did gf know they weren’t already a couple? When my husband approached the subject with me he seemed nervous and I was like “sir, we’ve been dating for a few months now, I’m glad you want to make it official though” and we kept playing darts.
GF
well she says they started dating 2 months ago , maybe she already thought they are official girlfriends/couple
She shouldn’t have to cancel her plans but becoming ‘official’ as a couple isn’t nothing. She could have at least spent 5 minutes talking with her gf and then explaining that she had plans with a friend so she will go play MC now
I don't play Minecraft - so I am not sure if there were specific events or if you can easily walk away for a few minutes. You are right, generally taking 5 minutes to chat about it is the best option, and I am guessing OP was nervous and excited - which doesn't lend to being situationally aware to notice gf was on a call. Maybe needy is a bit harsh from that perspective. I wasn't trying to say that OP is that, just that it is one of the possible scenarios given the limited info on a Reddit post. Becoming official is not nothing to everyone for sure, but I have had relationships where we just kind of fell into being official because we enjoyed each other's company and weren't dating anyone else - it can be nothing to some people in some situations. That doesn't diminish the importance of the relationship, it just means one partner already ascribed that level of importance to it without needing to formalize it. People put different levels of importance on things being official and that doesn't mean they care less necessarily.
I hate the term "neurodivergent" because y'all are using it every time you think somebody is acting strange.
I mean that's not an excuse for not communicating. I'm both neurodivergent and socially inept but still, when I struggle with something I try to communicate, for example I don't personally need to spend time with the other person to bond with them, I mean actually yes but what I mean is that I can also bond by sharing my space, even if we're not actually doing anything together and to me that's also a sign of affection but I am always like that, and of course I'm aware of that and with people who are not like that, I try to communicate as much as possible or try to find a compromise. Maybe she's not aware of her diversity at this point....
Are you both actually 11 years old?
Wait so, you've been dating for 2 months, and you only just now asked her out? I'm kinda lost here... and it explains her reaction, because you basically haven't changed anything? You're still just dating, now you simply put a label on it which for all we know she may have already assumed was in place. But like, maybe just talk to her about it? Why do people just not talk about things like this
Yeah, this is my read: she already figured you were, so this was a cute moment but not a momentous change.
Some people get really obssed with the label. Ive got two friends who stay over at each other's house, sleep together, go on cute dates together, always show up to friend group outings together, and do not sleep with or date anyone else. But they are FAST to clarify and declare they ARE NOT DATING. They are not boyfriend and girlfriend! Just friends!
We have been dating and we have been on multiple dates already today I asked her to go from dating to an official relation ship as gf and gf we have been very open about what we both thought about the relation ship and both agreed that we where not official unless someone asked. I agree with you and I'll talk with her about it when we are alone together. Thank you for the advice!
I think you are taking this too much to heart, nothing really changes by putting a label on it. If you are considering ending it for this reason then my god you aren't ready for a relationship. Communicate!
It like he is feeling overwhelmed by the label and its implications. Remember, labels don't define the relationship's value. Communication is key; discussing your feelings openly can help clarify where you both stand and what you both want moving forward.
It's not like you proposed?
You said she went back into discord. So does this mean, that she was already on a call with someone, when you asked her? She could have told her friends to wait, but I also understand that she was already commited to a social interaction in this case. Maybe just talk with her about that, why she did that and what your expectations were. You want to have a relationship with each other, so you should talk with each other and not ask strangers.
Yep she was already in a call about to play with a friend but he wanted her to drop everything and everyone because he decided that moment needed to be about him and now he wants to break up with her because she didn't get on her hands and knees. OP needs to grow up.
OP is a woman
From her point of view, you walked in from shopping and asked her a highly personal question while she was on a video call. I get it, you didn’t realize she was already on a call. But it did totally change the dynamic of what you apparently thought would be an important, romantic event. You need to talk to your GF but also on your end maybe take a moment to read the room before springing important conversations on people.
Yeah that is fairr!!
Over reaction you asked her to be her gf not marry her. You didn’t even bother talking to her before saying you want to breakup 😂
Maybe she was processing it, and just reacted/retreated to a safe space(gaming)?
This was my thought. Perhaps a little overwhelmed.
Ugghhhh, okay 🤨 I understand where you’re coming from, wanting to have a bonding moment. But if you just left the air open after and didn’t ask her to do something that’s not her fault for misunderstanding your intentions. This whole “asking” people to be your significant other with a gift or token, is a new fad. Up until a few years ago this wasn’t a thing. People would date for a few weeks and then just agree to be exclusive and that they were dating together. I think that you may have had expectations for this situation in your head and they just didn’t end up being what you wanted 🤷🏻♀️ not your gfs fault. Just sounds like a lack of clear communication.
What did you want her to do? A cartwheel?
please hahaha
She maybe thought you guys were already bf and gf and she was just like, cool, vibed with it for a second and then went back to the endless dopamine revolving door we live in. Just talk to her about it, probably doesn’t mean anything and I’m sure she’s want to know your feelings may have been hurt.
I mean… legitimately asking: what tf kind of reaction were you expecting? What is the proper response/response time for your Officially Dating™️? Should she have tearfully called her parents with you on the line to share the good news? Is this your first relationship?
If you want to break up over this already you probably shouldn't be in a relationship at all right now.
You need to grow the fuck up. You are young, as is she. If you two started to date two months ago, and you're just now asking her to be your girlfriend?! Did you not do so two months ago? (Make this make sense to me OP). Because dating means you two are together, in all the senses of the word.
You sound like you’re 13, not 23. You and your GF are clearly deeply immature.
If she was playing Minecraft with a friend when you asked it makes sense to go back to playing Minecraft, finish whatever she was doing and then go back to you. You barely know each other. You have been dating and you are still going to be dating. Not much changes. She might not see it as a big deal perhaps because she's already in that head space.
Well for now you are learning each other’s habits, video games can play a big role in someone’s life, but as you spend more time together you can see if it will cause an issue, but 1 occasion i would not make much out of. Do you have a hobby that you can pursue while she plays videogames? Or is it possible to sometimes share this hobby of hers our your together? What i found is that my videogame habit was also unusual for my then gf, now wife, it toke some time but she understood its not just like watching a movie but a bond with friends and could be a serious hobby. Sometimes we play together but i have my own friend group who i play on a bit more competitive level too. While i do that she is either working, working out, or watching/reading. Everyone need time for themselves even in a relationship too.
What were you expecting, exactly? If she's a Minecraft player and you knew about it beforehand, this is part of what you like about her.
You've never been so excited that you had to go and play Minecraft??
Communicate respectfully and maturely
Maybe she kinda already figured she was and it wasn't a big deal to her?
What did you want her to do?
Did you try asking her to spend time together? The only red flag here is how quick you were to jump to abandoning this relationship, without even a conversation, over the tiniest thing.
You should’ve done that 2 month ago. I mean nothing changed. Y’all still dating.
I mean... the mines aren't going to craft themselves...
If she was doing that with a friend before you came up and asked randomly, is she suppose to ditch her friend she was playing with?
Sorry man but you should break up. You aren't ready for a relationship.
You’re trippin bro wtf
Back into discord? As in she was already involved in something, was interrupted, and went back into it? Also, the timing is all over. She was your girlfriend of two months and then you asked her to be your girlfriend? I think she probably assumed you guys were already an item, and her saying yes seemed unnecessary. Just talk to her, clear things up.
What? So you asked your girlfriend to be your girlfriend? That doesn't make any sense if she's already your girlfriend??
Sounds like she may have already thought you were or wasn’t that surprised by the question and didn’t think of it as big a deal as you had prepared for. It’s okay to be disappointed, but she wasn’t aware of the expectations and that’s also okay.
Timing is everything. Ideally you would have asked her when you two were having an intimate moment or on a date etc. It’s kind of weird for someone to ask that when the other person is chilling. Sometimes it helps to flag when you want to discuss something important. Like “hey do you have a moment. I want to discuss something.” I don’t know how many times my boyfriends have decided that the best time to launch into a discussion is when I walk past to use the toilet or when I announce that I am going to sleep or when I am driving. It’s not ideal.
She might be autistic or just weird. Try talking to her about it, let her know how it made you feel. If keeps doing stuff like this ou should consider breaking up tho
She said yes what more do you want. She just wants to game. Let her get her shit in brother!
Did you really expect her to get down on her knees and start sucking on the spot?
So you selfishly interrupted her game with her friend to ask her out, which she said yes, then you are mad because she continued doing what she was already doing before you interrupted her? She doesn’t owe you a big reaction or time when she is already doing something. Asking someone out isnt that deep or big. You’re acting controlling of her reactions. If you don’t like then break up so she doesn’t have to live like that, you gatekeeping her emotions and time.
Okay, this is fucking funny.
This is so childish on both sides lol.
Log on to her server and burn down all her villages and write “I love you” in magma blocks on her lawn.
Did you interrupt her game? Well, DID YOU?
“My wife sent me divorce papers through a League of legends griefer and I’m not sure where to go from here,”
Was she already playing the game before when you asked her? It’s probably due to your bad timing of asking honestly it’s probably more your own fault
I mean she said yes so lol I guess she’s your gf.
Why don’t you play Minecraft with her? Minecraft is awesome and easy to learn.
I would be maybe a little taken aback. It feels like a big deal to you, you want to celebrate the moment. But, consider that she might not be as into "moments". Some people aren't. When I met my most recent partner, I kept wanting to try to create "moments" but they always fell flat. And I figured out that she didn't really see them the same way I did. That's not a problem, I just had to adjust expectations. I still got my moments, we just didnt share that experience in the same way, and that's OK. She had other ways of reveling in our love.
So what did she say and do when you asked her to hang out with you instead of playing Minecraft?
Bruh don’t break up with her. She probably enjoys playing the game , was happy you asked her to DATE and after the moment was done she probably wanted you to hop on your game and jam out with her. She probably didn’t mean anything by it
If she was in the middle of playing a video game with a friend and talking on discord you think of it like say a phone call. You interrupted her phone call, she gave you appropriate attention and an answer and then went back to the friend she was currently spending time talking to. That’s my thought at least. Just because it’s gaming doesn’t mean it’s not socially equivalent to being mid hangout or phone call with a friend. Set up a date or something for devoted time together if you feel that moment was lacking, but the choice of when to ask was probably more at fault then her returning to what she had been mid doing. Also breaking up over that is wild esp ruminating on it for weeks. Try to reframe it, that was her friend time and she diverted attention from them for you in that moment, that shows she sees you as important, but still going back to her friend so they also know they’re still important during their time together is a plus as well. She sounds like a good person.
Did you use your words and ask her to hang out after or do you just expect her to read your mind like she's Jean Grey from the X-Men
Play Minecraft with her
I mean you went home asked her and then that was that, no other plan was made. She figured that was the end of it and just went about her business afterwards. I’m sure she’s happy, she said yes after all. You just never made it clear with additional plans afterwards like “let’s go out to dinner together, or have a little date night type of thing”
This is the most Reddit sentence I’ve ever read
Sounds to me like you couldn’t just tell her you wanted to spend time together and can she play later ….. just because she didn’t do what you would have done doesn’t mean she didn’t appreciate it you said she was happy She just thinks differently part of being in a relationship is accepting each other’s different headspace and meeting in the middle n she couldn’t do that because you didn’t tell her
She probably already figured you were that serious in her head, so you saying that to her was like, "well duh, we've already been a couple for a while!" Communicate with her. Tell her calmly and nicely her reaction surprised you because you thought it was a big deal and she seemed to not care
If you’re dating for 2 months you’re already bf/gf. You’re just acknowledging a label.
Autism.
You're both EXTREMELY neurodivergent lmao
Does she normally play Minecraft when you come over? Is she does, then don't expect her to be different now that you are BF.
Talk to her. Tell her what you have felt, when she went away.
Go play minecraft with your gf
Legit talk here - have a conversation "Hey, so, no judg3ment, but I was kind of hoping we might do a little more celebrating than video games today. I'm really excited to be with you and I hoped we might go on a date, or a walk, or whatever. Oh shit, is that the nether realm?"
Talk to her about it. It seems like a bit of an overreaction to me to break up over without even a conversation..
You should tell her that you'd like to spend time with her, but don’t make her feel guilty for playing Minecraft. Don’t get upset at her just because you didn’t voice your wants to her. Communication is key. My bf actually encourages me to play Minecraft, and he often plays a game while I’m doing that. Y'all can have hobbies that you do at the same time, you don’t have to do everything together just because you’re hanging out.
i wouldn’t read into it too much, it sounds like coping. don’t think about it. if anything maybe figuring out her play style would give some insight. for example if she’s in creative mode just destroying shit, maybe that’s her way of getting out all her excitement about the relationship.
I'm sorry, I've read your post twice but I'm deeply confused. She's your girlfriend you said. And you asked her to be your girlfriend..? Is it just me or does this make no sense?
take a deep breath. This may be a disappointing reaction for you but it is not relationship ending! A healthy relationship needs good communication. This is a great opportunity to start things off on the right foot. Go for a walk together (away from devices) and speak to her about it. Tell her how excited or whatever you were to ask her to be your gf and then tell her how her reaction made you feel. Open up the lines of honest communication with her right from the start. Be kind and honest. Stick to explaining how it made you feel "when this happend it made me feel xyz" for example as opposed to "you did this or you didn't do that". Those 'You did this' statements can feel like attacks when you'r on the receiving end and will make her defensive which will shut down all communication and take you no where but break up town in the long run. Perhaps she isn't aware of how important this was to you. So many misunderstandings in relationships happen b/c the couple don't communicate or their expectations are mismatched. Don't be afraid to tell your gf what you need from your partner, people can't read your mind. If you dump someone every time they don't react the way you want or expect, you will be doing a lot of breaking up in your future dating life. All the best and good luck :)
I’d maybe try to calmly talk to her about it. My brother has had a pretty solid gaming group for 15+ years now. One of the members got married a couple months back and has gone from gaming with them multiple nights a week to one four hour block a week. He is absolutely unreachable during that four hour block to everyone but his girlfriend. Maybe there’s a reason she felt she couldn’t leave this friend in that moment, she could even be neurodivergent or lack some social skills here. There could be so many reasons you two didn’t connect in that moment. I understand why you feel this way though. It does seem odd and your feelings are definitely valid. You seemed really excited for this relationship so throwing it away immediately would be a shame but I’d probably keep an eye out for any other potential red flags just in case.
Give her some computing time. Maybe she just needs to put the bits in a row after buttons been pressed.
Steal her diamonds
Why don’t you play with her?
Given the information provided, with no ill intentions meant by me, may I ask if she is neurodivergent? If so, there’s a good chance she pseudo-cognitively did this as a coping mechanism in response to her excitement/dopamine response to the situation.
Honestly, she could just be a socially awkward person. My bf and I have been together for 2 years and him asking me out was as awkward as this lol. It was technically our first official date (we had been going on dates for months but this was the first time either of us actually called it a date), and we went bowling with his friends. We were waiting our turns and he had his arm around me and he asked “so like what would you think of me calling you my gf and you calling me your bf?” I told him that I would like that. About 10 seconds later he responds with “you know I was asking you out right?” I said yes. Another 10 seconds later he goes “and that was a yes right?” 2 years later he’s just as awkward, and I found out he asked me to be his gf that day cuz his best friend told him to shit or get off the pot lol. My bf may be a social butterfly, but he’s also a bit of an idiot when it comes to any kind of a relationship with someone. There’s a chance your gf could be the same way. Honestly the best thing you can do is just ask what was going through her mind in that moment cuz it confused you.
If you've been dating for 2 months she's been your girlfriend for 2 months that's what dating is. She probably just thought you were asking to use a label since you're already girlfriends.
Dude slow down U just might have gem in the ruff man, shit don't happen over night Take her attention walk in the naked after you ate a bluechew do something be original Don't just get mad brkup You were fine with this behavior before what gives now?
Have you told her this and asked her why she went posing Minecraft? You really need to communicate these things with your partner in a relationship.
I had a similar experience. I dated a guy back in college that would play world of Warcraft pretty much every day and when we were together. I put up with it for only 2 months and I inevitably ended the relationship because it was not working for me. No shame to him for wanting to spend his time that way, but it’s not how I want to be treated within a relationship. I felt the game was more important to him than our relationship was.
Was she playing Minecraft before you asked her to be official? If it was such a big moment for you, why not make it more special. Like go out for dinner and then ask the question.. instead of it being a random day living life.
I wouldn’t think too much into it. My boyfriend asked me to make it official while we were watching a movie. He asked, I accepted; and we went back to watching the movie.
I don't think so she did any very bad things just don't overthink maybe she is busy with her game sometimes Minecraft gets so intense
Maybe she thought u two were already together and said yes and walked away like “damn, thought we were together already. “
Try talking to them about it
Maybe you can look up the 5 Languages of Love. Sounds like one of yours is either Quality Time or maybe Physical Touch. Figure out what her top 2 languages are, let her know and see if she is willing to give you more of what you need. But mostly, it sounds like she wanted a place where she could play unlimited amounts of Minecraft. Let her know you need more in your relationship than just watching her play Minecraft but I doubt she really cares as she is getting what she wants. You only have 2 months invested so best to end it and find someone who wants to spend actual time with you.
Were you already acting like bf and gf at that point? Why ask her whens he was playing minecraft and not set up a time to have a discussion when she wasn't distracted if it was important to you? How have you discussed this with her or what did you say when she turned back to the game? It seems like you need to speak up more.
Some people just don’t deal well with big emotions or complicated social situations, and she might be one of them. Try talking to her about it before jumping straight to breaking up.
Lmao that’s too funny. Hop on craft with her?
Wait is this a real story, are you being serious? I actually can’t tell
What were you expecting
She probably already assumed she was your girlfriend seeing as you clearly stated that you started dating 2 months ago...
Regardless of the reason for her doing this, and there are a lot of potential options here, I think what matters is that it's clear that her reaction hurt you and so it'd be a good idea to talk to her about it. My advice is to try to approach it as much as possible from the perspective of this being an honest miscommunication or misunderstanding, rather than something done deliberately or without care for you. If she's someone you thought worthy of dating then it's a good idea to give her the benefit of the doubt -- she presumably cares about you and it will matter to her that your feelings were hurt. If, after talking, you still feel like your feelings aren't being prioritized then that's a good time to reassess things and do a little soul searching.
You’re too early to be here. Let the relationship marinate
You’re too early to be here. Let the relationship marinate
Yeah sounds like she’s got a touch of the tysm. Probably a lot of the qualities you like in her come from that fact. Take the bad with the good and learn to communicate literally
Pull out a laptop and play with her. I don't see this as an issue, you are likely looking into this too deeply. If she continues to blow you off and do something without you then that's a red flag but right now I think you'll be fine.
Bro you gotta chill, this is not that deep. It sounds like she was already in the middle of something, whether you thought so or not, and you did nothing to communicate what expectations, if any, you had after you asked her. If you wanna spend time together, plan something with her. Include her on the plan making process.. Don't spring something with undefined expectations on someone when they're in the middle of something and then get upset when they don't respond how you expected. This sounds so tiresome.
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Without knowing you or your girlfriend, my perspective assumption would be that: 2 months in a relationship would be long enough to have a sense of “normalcy”, and that being in a mutually respectful relationship, in this case, girlfriend and girlfriend, was already assumed at an earlier point for her before you mentioned it. Since she went to play Minecraft directly afterward, I assume you’re living together, or that spending passive time together is a regular act, not that you only meet up ONLY for normal dates. There might be several night ins, and again, this is just my assumption from my experiences. If it really bothers you, I’d recommend just talking to her, and avoiding getting too many suggestions online. Human to human/face to face communication is important, and this early on in a relationship, in my opinion, it is CRUCIAL to establish where you are emotionally with each other before you both end up “wasting each others’ time”
She was already doing something and paused and wanted to resume so she didn’t come across as rude, I’d be willing to bet that’s what it is! Breaking up over something so trivial, honestly, that is BEYOND childish. I’m not trying to be rude, but in a relationship, you talk, you communicate. Over time, obstacles come up, miscommunication, human error, differences of personality and opinion, little triggers, annoying habits they have, etc. will occur, and it is up to YOU and HER to use the key to a relationship, which is communication, to ensure things work out - but you have to be willing to work for it! My husband and I will be together for 8 years, married for 5 come August, and we have a 2 1/2 year old son! Things come up often, we discuss them calmly and rationally, we take turns, and we do our best to ensure we hear one another. IF we are frustrated or mad, we have learned to compose ourselves and hash it out when our son is asleep or in another room. It takes time! Do your best if you love her.
What else should she do? Cry and call everyone to tell them this great news? Open the window and shout out to the whole world “OP is my official boyfriend now!!!” Immediately kneel down and start sucking your dick as a gesture for happiness? Send a group Zoom link to all the other guys she was seeing and announce to them she has a boyfriend now? Immediately demand you to send out messages to all your female friends and tell them you are her boyfriend now and change all the status on all social media from “single” to “in relationship”? Slap you on your face hard then kiss you passionately, then look deeply into your eyes and say “For God’s sake, what took you so long!”
Personally I would just play Minecraft too bc it sounds like you both share this. I don’t know why this is so upsetting that you want to break up. She was happy that you acknowledged you want to be in a relationship with her, and when the moment was over she went and did something else. It doesn’t sound like you made other plans. Go build a bad ass couples house together. Run a discord server as a couple. That sounds super fun
Are dating and being in a relationship not synonymous anymore??
😂😂😂😂😂😂 sorry but this is hilarious. I get where you’re coming from but I get where she’s coming from too. Maybe you just picked a bad moment to ask her
Apparently, she's not going to be as invested in being your gf as you are in being her bf. I would not expect things to progress with this one. Her actions tell you what you need to know.
chad move by her
is she... restarted?
Take a chill 💊pill, can’t think about dumping her over what might be a small thing all the time. Look at the big picture and don’t dwell on the pixels !
Ur gonna let that little thing bother you? Then buckle up bc at 42 I have been thru stuff with my partners… worse things are gonna happen and from People you will probably love more than this girl. You seem to be overreacting. What will you do when she is playing with her friends a little too much or they are getting a little flirty? The ish will then hit the fan. Let her know your expectations so she won’t disappoint you so bad.
Bro am I reading this right? Your girlfriend played a game and now you’re considering instantly breaking up with her? Even though you literally say yourself that she was already in the discord call when you got back? Honestly. Maybe you aren’t ready for a relationship. Cuz that’s actually a fucking ridiculous reaction to the non-existent problem you’ve laid out here which is “my gf had hobbies even AFTER I asked her to be my gf”
She may have already thought of you as her boyfriend, so making it official was just a formality to her. What did you expect in the moment? You said she seemed happy about it. Is there something specific you were hoping she would do that she didn’t?
You asked a gamer girl to be your GF. You have to deal with the side effects of such decisions.