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Preface: while I completed my MSc and trained for a while to become a psychiatrist, I've worked in a different field for several years now.
> Is my boyfriend gaslighting me over not wanting to kiss after a bj?
No. He doesn't like kissing, sounds like a selfish lover, and you clearly don't see eye-to-eye.
He's not psychologically manipulating you into believing that you kiss constantly and you're just forgetting about it, or that you've never discussed the topic before -- either of which would be gaslighting. It's an insidious and traumatic form of abuse, not a term you ought to bandy about when aggrieved with a partner.
Here's [the first link I found](https://www.verywellmind.com/is-someone-gaslighting-you-4147470) which may give more information about what gaslighting actually is.
Some guys will not kiss after their lady sucks their dick. It never bothered me, even after cumming in her mouth. Is he kissing you at times other than after oral sex?
He used to not care if he didn't cum. When we're not having sex we kiss as greetings or randomly, but always just a peck and after two kisses in a row he starts to get avoidant and stops me
Edit spelling mistake
I love kissing, so I don't relate to any of his kissing aversion. I had a lady who seemed to develop an aversion to kissing after I had given her oral. Always seemed weird to me.
Simple solution; stop giving him a blowjob’s he said he liked kissing as long as you have not taken him in your mouth. Then you will see which he likes most. Sorry no bj if no kissing. Do you kiss him after he eats you?Â
He's just lying to you. He doesn't want to kids you because you give him bjs. He probably thinks it's gross. As all young men are different. There is 2 constant. They don't understand that it's not gay to kiss your significant other after a bj. I heard that a lot as a young guy. That it's "gay" if you kiss your SO because it's like giving yourself a bj.
And after he ejaculated in your mouth. He never got that visual out of his head. Now that's what pops up in his head everytime you try to kiss him. He wasn't taught sex education or sexuallity correctly. That goes for 90% of people.
Talk to him and ask him. If it's because you give him bjs and he thinks it's gay to kiss you afterward? If he looks away and says no. He's lying. You are going to have to decide if you want to stay with a person who is this immature.
i think reality is a combo of both of y’all’s comments,
yes, it is personal preference and choosing to or not to do something isn’t weird. thats a boundary and everyone’s different.
yes, it is weird that all of a sudden he is no longer okay with it, when it didn’t use to be his personal preference or boundary in this relationship
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Preface: while I completed my MSc and trained for a while to become a psychiatrist, I've worked in a different field for several years now. > Is my boyfriend gaslighting me over not wanting to kiss after a bj? No. He doesn't like kissing, sounds like a selfish lover, and you clearly don't see eye-to-eye. He's not psychologically manipulating you into believing that you kiss constantly and you're just forgetting about it, or that you've never discussed the topic before -- either of which would be gaslighting. It's an insidious and traumatic form of abuse, not a term you ought to bandy about when aggrieved with a partner. Here's [the first link I found](https://www.verywellmind.com/is-someone-gaslighting-you-4147470) which may give more information about what gaslighting actually is.
It's understandable if he doesn't want to taste his own dick, but if it's outside of sex that lack of kissing could signal some intimacy problems.
If he doesn't want to taste his own dick why should she have to😂😂
Some guys will not kiss after their lady sucks their dick. It never bothered me, even after cumming in her mouth. Is he kissing you at times other than after oral sex?
He used to not care if he didn't cum. When we're not having sex we kiss as greetings or randomly, but always just a peck and after two kisses in a row he starts to get avoidant and stops me Edit spelling mistake
I love kissing, so I don't relate to any of his kissing aversion. I had a lady who seemed to develop an aversion to kissing after I had given her oral. Always seemed weird to me.
Simple solution; stop giving him a blowjob’s he said he liked kissing as long as you have not taken him in your mouth. Then you will see which he likes most. Sorry no bj if no kissing. Do you kiss him after he eats you?Â
Guaranteed this guy doesn't perform oral on her. I will be absolutely shocked if he does.
You can't kiss after a Hawk Tuah!
I always would kiss the girls that went down on me, after AND DURING the bj.
He's just lying to you. He doesn't want to kids you because you give him bjs. He probably thinks it's gross. As all young men are different. There is 2 constant. They don't understand that it's not gay to kiss your significant other after a bj. I heard that a lot as a young guy. That it's "gay" if you kiss your SO because it's like giving yourself a bj. And after he ejaculated in your mouth. He never got that visual out of his head. Now that's what pops up in his head everytime you try to kiss him. He wasn't taught sex education or sexuallity correctly. That goes for 90% of people. Talk to him and ask him. If it's because you give him bjs and he thinks it's gay to kiss you afterward? If he looks away and says no. He's lying. You are going to have to decide if you want to stay with a person who is this immature.
that is weird though my girl love to suck the wet sloppy dick after i put it inside her it's always like a half time BJ
It's not weird, it's personal preference. I, personally, will not do that myself. Unless you want me to vomit on you. I think it's gross.
i think reality is a combo of both of y’all’s comments, yes, it is personal preference and choosing to or not to do something isn’t weird. thats a boundary and everyone’s different. yes, it is weird that all of a sudden he is no longer okay with it, when it didn’t use to be his personal preference or boundary in this relationship
🤣🤣🤣💀