Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
* We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/)
* We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.**
* Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
* ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
* No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
* All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
* Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
* What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice)
---
***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.***
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Another woman here, she is mean. Also, some men have a massive penis and are terrible at sex, some have a penis much smaller than yours and are great. As long as it works nothing is wrong with your size. She doesn't sound like someone worth dating.
Move on. This is a horrific way to talk about your partner's body and is a massive red flag. Even if you were on the small side - and let's be clear, you AREN'T - this is a cruel, careless, repugnant way to speak to you about your body. It's only been a few weeks, cut your losses. You deserve someone who speaks to you with kindness, and this ain't it.
Definitely true most don’t like being cervix punched but also most cervixes aren’t 4” deep. Average penis is about 5-5.5”. Dudes aren’t usually bottoming out with an inch to spare.
I'm really sorry your latest partner turned out to be a stinking pile of thrash. As your doctor, I'm advicing you to loose some exess weight, the weight of your girlfriend to be exact, and participate in consensual sex with enthusiastic partners with good manners. Should your self confidence continue to stay low, please don't hesitate to contact a professional.
> your penis format.
That is the most Sheldon Cooper way of putting that, I kind of hoped the person you were seeing was just not good interacting with people.
Instead, she is cruel. Anyone commenting on their partner's body in such an unkind way at the start of the relationship is _just getting warmed up_. Bringing up your exes is extra BS - it's not relevant to the now and pretending they would also be assholes like she is another mind game. She's awful. You can look into being a more attentive and inventive lover with someone else.
Thanks for your words.. I found it a really cold a cruel way of mentioning it... The fact she brought up my ex's and doubted what I answered.. Really cruel indeed.
I had even cooked for her that day lol
You should approach this by blocking her and moving on from this cruel, cold woman.
Some people get a kick out of bringing others down. Don’t take it personally.
My thought exactly. It’s power play mind games, even if she doesn’t realize it. OP needs to have some self-respect and never hook-up with this woman again. His dick is just fine and will be better put to use with someone who appreciates it fully.
>“bone pressed length”
Everyone knows that the official way to measure is from the asshole. Or maybe that's how you measure the length of a cat's tail. /s
lol you are above average size according to medical reports. She just wants monsters. Maybe not a good fit no pun intended.
I couldn’t think it would be good to be in a relationship with such a person that would brag about her vaginal hunger that was probably fed and created mostly by sex toys and dildos…
You are not going to get over this. It will be on your mind every time you are intimate with her. Just move on. It's not you at all. You are at a normal or slightly above size. It's her issue. Go find someone who appreciates you for you.
Lesbian women orgasm more than straight women. Another way to look at that: people with *zero* penis are giving women lots of orgasms. Also, why be with someone unkind? Move on.
Next time you have sex mid act say “Gosh, it’s like chucking a hotdog up a hallway down here” and wait for her response.
Do prepare to be single after this, but it might open her eyes a little.
Break up with her. Making fun of someone during sex is mean. Flat out. You’re already in a vulnerable position and she teased you. She’s weird. End it.
My opinion as a woman, if that counts for anything. She has no right to comment on your size. This is literally the equivalent of putting her down for her breast size. It’s something that can’t be helped and is really cruel.
The further issue that this can cause is performance anxiety and she’ll be the first one complaining when that happens or you don’t want to sleep with her incase she makes a comment again. She was insensitive and her comment was emotionally not very intelligent.
For me personally, I always tell my partner he is perfect and I enjoy x,y and x with and about him. I understand men carry huge amounts of pressure and masculinity in their private area and performance. And I want him to feel his best. As a loving partner she should not be commenting on this, or found a better position without having to put you down in the process or not be with you at all if that’s what she really thinks and feels.
I would talk to her and tell her how it made you feel and ask her how she would feel if you made a comment about her body parts that are out of her control.
I would put a boundary in place, such as, if you comment again on my size or mock me, I can no longer be in a relationship with you.
If she apologies and shows genuine regret and changes her behaviour, I would forgive her but if she refuses to take accountability or does it again, or plays it off as nothing, I would seriously have a hard think about whether the relationship is right for you or not.
She should be lifting you up, not knocking you down. You deserve respect and someone who accepts and loves you for you.
Btw, why are you making her dinner and desert? She should be making you that to say sorry. Please don’t take sh*t from people. I’m sure you could do better.
I did it before, she was getting off work and wanted to do something nice for her.
It was after dinner when we were in the couch she asked my about my ex's and giggled at my answer.
Nope, that’s just plain rude and insulting. Move on and don’t let her comments get into your head. Some people are just plain mean, when actually they could just say they’re not that into you.
You could have retorted with something like "well how can you tell anyway, it is like throwing a hotdog into a hallway down there". Something as snide anyway
OP, I thought you were gonna say less than 10 cm with how that was built up.
I’ve dated someone who was quite a bit smaller than that, and the only issue was in certain positions he couldn’t reach, so we just avoided those. Sex was still fun as hell because I liked him!
Kind of mean to mock you for something that guys are known to be sensitive about, when in reality size makes very little difference and your actual size seems average if anything.
Keep your chin up and maybe reconsider if you actually like this person or not. Casual cruelty is kind of a turn off…
OP you are a tad over average. This woman is not partner material. Just leave her to the abnormal few. She probably has such a high body count that she can't feel anything until she is totally stretched out.
This girl is like a weird combination of extremely picky, toxic, and totally lacking self awareness. Stay away. She will infect you with her mental illness. Normally a girl should encourage you.
You should deal with it by dumping her. She purposely insulted you, then went big-eyed with surprise when you were hurt by it.
She's a manipulative twat.
Move on. Sorry but no woman worthy of you would ever do that. The fact is, small can be powerful, beautiful and exotic. The fact she took the humiliation route says she doesn't deserve a man in her life. You are too good for her xx
Plenty of my lesbian friends very rarely engage in actual penetration. Mostly oral and digital stimulation, and they seem pretty content in their sex lives. So no, having a giant hog isn't what's going to make a great sexual experience. Most women I've been with have been far more interested in clitoral and g spot stimulation. Neither of which require a 9x9 or whatever is her ideal.
This sounds way more like controlling abuse. If the sex was so bad, why is she bothering? I'd lean far more towards this is her issue far more than it is yours.
So your real question should be what to do about it? If she's just being a size queen, then toys or break up. If a control issue, therapy and open dialogue or break up. If unwilling to try new things with you to find something that satisfies both of you, then break up.
Personally I'd lean towards break up as no matter her reasoning, that was both disrespectful and emasculating, and there's no way to unhear that or unfeel what you do now without a lot of time and work.
Good luck.
She is too immature and doesn’t realize what she said (or she’s terrible)
Doesn’t matter in the end because if you are giving orgasms to every partner (that’s amazing in and of itself b/c very few women orgasm from just PIV) your member is just the right size.
Ps… if you want an excellent book read these:
Come as you are by Emily Nagasaki
She comes first by Ian kerner
Why do you have to think? Unfortunately women do sometimes lie about having an orgasm for so many reasons (they believe it’s easier, saves guys feelings, time, etc.) it’s such a shame, I used to do it myself.(shame)
Be open to conversation and ask probing questions, these books helped me so much!
I can’t imagine you laughing at any part of her and her having a calm reaction, what she did was crossing a boundary. You have no control over your length which by the sounds of it haven’t been hindering you in any way.
Don't spend time with people who make you feel bad about yourself. Ik why you did it but even adding your dimensions here isn't necessary- it's not about your size here it's about her lack of tact and care in speaking with you about your sex life with one another
There is a difference between having a conversation about prefered size/what gets you off and, well, whatever the fuck this is. She is mean and demeaning. If you think you must try to fix this, then just be honest. Tell her that her giggling and bringing up your exes made you feel hurt. If she can't acknowledge how you feel and can't empathise and doesn't feel bad about it, I would advise you to break up. But if it were me, there wouldn't have been a post because I already would've broken up. And if you feel like being mean you could tell her that what she said is like you telling her that her vagina is more loose than your previous partners and you are shocked that her exes didn't tell her.
I mean.. I did feel it a little more loose than what I'm used too. But I figured it's because she lubricates a lot.. But didn't go up telling her that her vag is the loosest cave I've explored.
It’s true that like dicks, vagina’s come in all different shapes and sizes, we’re just less aware of the fact because they’re hidden away and the medical field mostly doesn’t care about women’s bodies beyond their functions for male desire and giving birth. Body politics aside, her having a “bigger” vagina or you having a “smaller” penis isn’t the point, the point is that you two aren’t matching puzzle pieces. That doesn’t have to be a deal breaker, but her insensitive communication definitely should be.
Best take IMO. There's a bun for every hotdog out there OP. Being average (well actually slightly above) you have the greatest chance of finding the right bun compared to someone very large or very small.
Maybe the problem isn't your penis but it's her cave vagina xd jokes aside it's not worth being anxious, not enjoying sexy time and having self-doubts. And don't talk about loose vaginas much, you might find yourself in the middle of a witch hunt here xd
People don't understand that size is the least problematic thing in sex. Good communication, technique, willingness to adapt on both sides, and intimacy are what makes a good sex life. I have come across men that were below average and had amazing sex, and came across men that were "blessed by the gods" and had awful sex cause they were too cocky to get off their asses. If you are communicating (respectfully unlike your *cough asshole girlfriend*) and are putting time and effort, it shouldn't matter much. There are veeeeeery rare cases where the size actually effects sex life, such as the penis being too big or someone unfortunately having a micro penis, which no one should talk shit about cause there is nothing they can do about it. Your size is good don't let her get into your head.
Totally. Good communication is key. She even proved herself wrong, when we both had pleasure later and she was able to orgasm. However this is something that I'm almost certain will be on back of my mind for a long time and for as long as I'm with her.
Well I think you just answered your question of how to deal with this. It will always be on back of your mind for a long time and as long as you are with her. I guess your best option is to break up if this is something you can't get over.
According to average, you are slightly above average. So next time she says something about your equipment just mention you’re above average and her c”@t is too big.
When she gets upset just ask her why does that bother you?
She’s obviously used to being with guys who have bigger ones or it’s her that is a bit loose downstairs, because your size is the average, not small or big just normal, or she’s just saying that to make you insecure.
For one, what she said to you was really rude and uncalled for. What if you told her that her chest was way too small. She would definitely be majorly upset and angry.
You are actually average size, and most women don't even get stimulation vaginally. I don't have a full context of either of you, but it seems like she either wasn't in the mood or isn't communicating to you what she needs for pleasure.
Honestly, unless you have some strong communication skills and mental willpower, you're always going to think of that moment. If you guys are seriously, possible have a long adult conversation or move on.
14cm and she said it's small? Who has she been sleeping with before you? Horses? Now I don't know you and your girl's racial background or body tipe, but that is not a small penis where I come from. And if she can't make it work while she's on top that sounds like a her problem.
Besides all of that, she is cruel, because the bedroom is no place to be saying those things, even if said jokingly. I would suggest to move on, get over it and don't be ashamed of your size, since there is nothing wrong with it.
Your partner is insensitive. She has obviously had other larger men. Move on and avoid the shaming. You are fine, find some one who cares for all of you. BTW...she is shallow.
She is just mean and you deserve better. Also, that lenght is above average in multiple countries and also, 1cm more or less doesn't change much unless you are extremely small/bit, which you definitely aren't. Don't let this perosn pull you down. At best she is inconsiderate, at worst she is trying to manipulate you.
she’s just trying to be malicious. your dick isn’t small it’s above average and even if it was smaller that’s definitely not what most people judge sex on. i’m gonna keep it a buck with you, she’s probably seeing/fucking other people. someone who doesn’t respect you enough to insult you directly to your face doesn’t respect you enough to stay loyal. you need to find someone who respects you.
She sounds like a red flag. People get so hung up on penis size and there is so much more to sex than that. And different people like different things. My go-to toy is over an inch shorter than your measurement and a bit less girth.
Do not put that much stock into what one person says, especially such a just bad red flag way to say it.
Your dimensions are fine. Your girl, well, leave her and forget about her. Some people are ruthless by nature. Don’t spend time with them, it’s a waste.
Maybe she is the Grand Canyon. Lol . Cut ties with her ASap . Someone out there will find your size perfect.
Beside there is nothing you can do about your size .And I think You are slightly above average . Lol
(Almost)every single dude on planet earth is between 4-6”… go outside, and count 10 guys you see: 9 of them have almost exactly your size. You’re perfectly adequate, and anybody trying to make you feel bad doesn’t deserve your time. Good luck with your search for the right girl bro
This is awful.
My partner is on the small size (not saying that your small btw). But she should not have reacted that way at all, it's very insensitive to you. How would she have felt if you said she was big.
Instead of saying something like that, she should have looked at things to make it work, thats what being in a partnership is all about. You're there to love and support eachother.
Me and my bf make it work, we do different things that accommodates us both. And btw her being on top would still work. We do that, and my bf is smaller than you.
But just again, size really isn't everything anyway. It's about finding what works, and being respectful about it.
Tell her if she’s got an issue with something like that, she can go fuck herself. Joking about something you’ve got no control over and is sensitive is a shitty thing. I wouldn’t keep seeing her.
I’m a guy and i ain’t got much but when measuring a penis how can everybody come away either measurements to the tength of an inch. wtf is 5.1. 5.9. Oh i got a massive pecker at 7.324159 +- like. Come on please. It’s 5 1/2 or 6. Stop either the decimal system and leave that for fabricators or metal.
I was with a guy that had a smaller than average penis. I never said a word. We managed to have a good time anyway.
I’m sure you are perfectly fine. This is a “her” problem
Drop the size queen. The fact that she keeps bringing it up means she thinks it’s entertaining to toy with you. That’s disrespectful and frankly indicative of a flawed character. It’s only been a few weeks and already her best behavior has deteriorated to this? It’s only going to get worse.
By the way, you are a bit above average size. Anybody who calls you small is either ignorant or a liar who gets a charge out of making you feel bad.
Bro…. I’m a women and I once told my bestie if I a man and I was average no one could tell me shit lmaooo. That isn’t small and you shouldn’t feel insecure you should actually find a better partner!! That’s fucked!
You don’t deserve to be talked to like this about your body. I’m not one for the immediate “just break up” reaction but this is a sign of things to come. I’d get out.
Assuming this post is authentic, she could be "negging" you. Basically putting you down in a way to make herself feel better or you less likely to leave her. What she said was incredibly damaging because she basically implied that nobody ever appreciated you. Run.
This is called Gaslighting. The gameplan of the narcissist. They try and build your dependance on them through lying and deceit.
In this case she is stating something false \~ that you are small \~ and implying that everyone you have been with thought so and was not happy with it.... Well shit you better not leave her because she is willing to put up with it right? she is such a good person for loving you and putting up with your small penis. I'm surprised she didn't have you recite a mantra of how humble and amazing she is. I'm actually surprised she showed her cards so quickly and so obviously.
Run away. Don't ever talk to her again. And get what she said out of your head, it was a lie and she was trying to control you with it.
You're only a few weeks in and she pulls shit like this. Say thank you for not wasting time and showing you're not the kind of person I would like to date and dump her.
The way she’s saying it is soooooo disrespectful. DONT take it personally. I BET there’s something in sex she’s DEEPLY insecure about and she’s projecting onto you by trying to make YOU insecure about something in sex. That’s how they do it. If you’re focusing on YOUR body during sex (as she’s trying to make you do) it stops you focusing on HER body so she can protect herself from feeling insecure about something.
Ask her is SHE feels insecure about the sex you have? Ask her if there’s something about her that bothers her about sex. See what shakes down
I would be absolutely crushed if my boyfriend made a joke or was casual about parts of my body as a woman.
This is horrible behavior from your "girlfriend". I would dump her immediately. Of course we are human and for men size is already something drilled in to be insecure about and girls it's boob size or tightness down there. None of us want to hear negatives things. That's crushing.
I hope you don't take her comments to heart but focus on the fact she is a toxic person that needs to work on herself before her next relationship.
A partner should never body shame, especially private parts. There’s definitely a delicate way to say that a certain position is better for her body than to shame.. in my experience it’s not about the size. My best sexual partner is smaller than you and we had amazing sex and amazing sexual chemistry.
Your size isn’t exactly small bigger than average to be exact, so I think she’s just negging you, I had a ex like this and better to get rid of her now then suffer
The practical side is that different sizes and shapes work in different positions. The perfect dick for deep throating doesn't feel great in doggy style. Also, different women have different vagina shapes. Some are more curved upward or downward and the clitoris can lay deeper or be more to the surface. A penis that feels great in every single position and act does not exist. I personally prefer average sizes as they're more diverse. Larger looks slightly better, but is way more limiting in what works. Slightly below average length works best for orgasms for me, actually, although I usually prefer fingers for that. I've seen a lot of penises and the only one I ever deemed 'too small for anything' was a picture in a medical textbook.
The psychological side is that what she said absolutely sucks. Isn't rule number one to NEVER tell a guy he's too small if you don't want to completely crush his self esteem? How is she not aware of this? She might call it overreacting, but I'm willing to bet that 90% of guys would react the same as, or worse than you did.
I don't really have any advice on what you should do, but she should definitely have known better. Based on everything else she said and did, I think she honestly doesn't understand why it's a big deal. She likes you, she likes sex with you and she knows what she wants, which is the positions that work best with your and her anatomy. Please don't let what she said ruin your confidence, it was absolutely her fault for saying that.
Thank you for the kind words. Totally agree with what you said. If only people were more empathic when talking to others, everyone would be better.
I talked to her but she doesn't seem to fully understand why it was such a big deal.
She's trying to tear down your confidence. Men do it to women all the time as a dating strategy and its disgusting
5.9 inches is actually solidly above average. 5 inches is the average for men. So either she's lying, or she's real loose.
Your post is so confusing.
She says it's both length AND girth?
Your measurements are indeed average. I can think of reasons why she's not okay with "average" but pointing out to you that you are average in her view is a big red flag. She's trying to wound you, IMO.
So she wants you to think that ALL of your exes also prefer "much bigger than average"? How ugly.
14.7 cm is actually high average. You do the math.
If she wants the sensation of every larger penises in order to get off (long story, but some women want stretching/pain/etc...until eventually there's no one besides a toy to go to regularly).
If you are too short and too narrow for her, go find a woman who truly and even desperately values what you have. Short and girthy is not going to work for many women - but is very much treasured by some.
Bro! Get rid of her asap. She is doing the kind of psychological damage that can take years to get out of. You are the man, don't forget that. Some women like to degradation men because they have a vendetta against the " patriarchy " or some other nonsensical crap. Or her dad didn't buy her a pont. Whatever the reason it's not your concern. Tell her to have a good one via text and block her ass
The cat's out of the bag----she said it and it can't be undone. I don't think she should have said that to you. You either live with what she said and know that you are likely just fine in that department, or move on and exit the relationship.
Man, you are exactly in the middle of what is normal for size. Unfortunately, you're going out with a size queen. It is highly likely she that she has a high body count and she is loose down there.
You will never be assured in such a relationship, so why waste your time. Release this one and let her find her hung Chad while you find a wholesome woman.
Agree with the fellow.
In fact, for a long time people thought 6" was average. Turns out, that was quoted from a study where the guys self-reported! And what do you think the guys did? Add a wee bit extra? 😂. If my memory serves me, much more comprehensive studies where the measurements weren't self-reported found the average closer to 5.17". YOU'RE FINE dude! As another person said, it really doesn't matter that much unless it's really small or really big that it hurts. You're a bit above average and most women really don't care anyway!
That was a hurtful thing she said. She should have known it would be and if she said so anyway then she did so in complete disregard to how it may affect you and your self-confidence. She wouldn't like it if you told her how loose she was or commented on any other part of her body negatively I'm sure! Forget her!
Also, if you need reassurance, check out a "normal distribution" for penis sizes. You'll find that you're with the majority!! Most people are about the same varying slightly. As you get bigger or smaller, the percentage of men with those sizes becomes much smaller in number. You're fine. Don't let it affect your self-confidence.
I just want to make it clear for you and all guys out there that you certainly do not have a small penis (not that there is anything wrong with having one). In fact, for certain brands at your girth, you should actually be using large condoms. If you're not sexually compatable for the reasons she's saying, she's certainly an edge case
That's really weird. You're very close to boringly average size. I don't think it makes a great deal of difference anyway, unless you are very small, or so big it might be painful. It's more what you do with it and other things that matters.
Also I think woman on top (unless it's a very weird position) is naturally deeper penetration anyway, so if you were on the small side it would be advantageous.
But really it's the mental thing that's the problem. It's a weird thing to say, especially in the early stages of a relationship when you aren't so confident in each other, most ladies would have the sense to realise it's going to be at least slightly hurtful.
It's also an odd thing to say in mid-intimacy, sounds like she wasn't really in to what was happening if you know what I mean.
I dunno anymore context on how “toxic” either of u could b but I would recommend being straight up to her and tell her exactly how u feel and communicate. Get an understanding why she said that after u have ur emotions clearly communicated to her before u decide anything for ur relationship.
Your size is perfectly wonderful. And plenty for most women. And honestly, you don't even need that much with the right connection and Lust with your partner.
Sounds like a, her problem. And her reaction is not reasonable.
Imagine the reverse:
Your breasts are on the small and saggy side. They are not quite as pleasurable to hold. Really?! Have Your Exs never mentioned your breast size? But they aren't even a handful.
Funny thing is... Her breasts are small and saggy, I think she lost some weight so it just has some loose skin that goes to the sides... And not once have I mentioned it or did it stop me from holding and kissing them.
Maybe mention her pancake breasts next time this comes up? Seriously though she poisoned the well with you. This will always be in your head so break up and find a better person.
She's an absolute b***h - that's the only explanation. Never ever ever would I or have I said anything negative about a partner's body, penis or any other part. If you value kindness, compassion and integrity, then move o ASAP.
There is no way this can be excused. She is mean and will bring you no happiness. Find someone better. If a man said something like this about any part of my body I would be GONE.
Ps: yes, your size is totally normal, but that's irrelevant. Ask her if she minds if you guys do doggy- coz her belly is a bit flabby. See how she likes it!
Commenting the negativ is such a dick move. I would never do that. She would consider my bfs dick to small too. But i have fun riding him. Its not the size. Its mostly technique.
Bro, 50% of the work in the bedroom for my wife and I is mental, 40% is non penetrative touching. The last 10% involves penetrative sex, which Is basically just used to cross the finish line for the both of us, and is the least exciting part. The aftercare is an entire thing of it's own.
This woman of yours sounds like she just likes punishment, or being filled.
As for the rest of your encounters, if your focus is on your penis, your performance, and your satisfaction then you're probably not paying enough attention to your partner's interests. You should ask them what they like, try experimenting with different kinky or comforting things.
My wife doesn't care for sex much, but she loves riding the high of climax and being messaged.
I've never met a woman that focused on the size of my penis.
That's my rambling thoughts on the matter, but the point is that your size isn't the issue here.
What you have is what you have. Ask her if she has some way to make it a size that she thinks it should be? If not, then ask her if she’ll ever be satisfied with what you have? Her answers will help you decide if you should stay or leave the relationship. From the sounds of it, it’s time to go.
100% red flag. Not just for dissing you, but this also tells me she is more concerned with how sex "should" be than whether or not SHE even enjoyed it, and certainly not how you felt about it. There's a lot going on there, and it's her job to go figure that out and not be a jerk. If the relationship was much more established I might say get counseling. But this early on, I don't think you have to stick around while she decides how or if she wants to be a better partner.
She seemed to enjoy it at times.. I tried my best and gave her a hell of an oral ahah
but yeah, not worth the hassle in my opinion... I'm good looking, smart, good job, house, all that.. and lots of good girls out there.
There's nothing to do besides walk away she's playing a game and is neging you. I mean you could fire back something in kind it's important to figure out why this would bother someone and try to make an equal insult.
Stop seeing her geez pretty simple solution she's a horrible person. She says something crappy to you and then basically infers your lying about other women not saying anything to you. She is not a keeper throw her back.
Break up and move on. If the position you guys were in wasn't doing it for her she could have just said that. Bringing up the size of your dick was completely unnecessary.
Nah, you break up with her. Block her on everything. Partners should never go that far.
And this may be a bit too much, but fuck it, give her some of her own medicine: have your last comment to her be "if only your vagina format wasn't a fucking cave system."
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Dump her. She is negging you. I am a woman
Agree.
Another woman here, she is mean. Also, some men have a massive penis and are terrible at sex, some have a penis much smaller than yours and are great. As long as it works nothing is wrong with your size. She doesn't sound like someone worth dating.
Move on. This is a horrific way to talk about your partner's body and is a massive red flag. Even if you were on the small side - and let's be clear, you AREN'T - this is a cruel, careless, repugnant way to speak to you about your body. It's only been a few weeks, cut your losses. You deserve someone who speaks to you with kindness, and this ain't it.
Well said
Exactly.... what she on about the vaginal canal is only 4 inches long......
When it’s aroused it gets much longer.
Vaginal depth have the same size variations as the male penis... So true for some, but not for all. And most women don't like being cervix-punched.
Definitely true most don’t like being cervix punched but also most cervixes aren’t 4” deep. Average penis is about 5-5.5”. Dudes aren’t usually bottoming out with an inch to spare.
It's like the female and male organs where made to fit...
I'm really sorry your latest partner turned out to be a stinking pile of thrash. As your doctor, I'm advicing you to loose some exess weight, the weight of your girlfriend to be exact, and participate in consensual sex with enthusiastic partners with good manners. Should your self confidence continue to stay low, please don't hesitate to contact a professional.
Thanks doctor! I think I'll follow your advice!
This girl is really cruel and not worth your time.
> your penis format. That is the most Sheldon Cooper way of putting that, I kind of hoped the person you were seeing was just not good interacting with people. Instead, she is cruel. Anyone commenting on their partner's body in such an unkind way at the start of the relationship is _just getting warmed up_. Bringing up your exes is extra BS - it's not relevant to the now and pretending they would also be assholes like she is another mind game. She's awful. You can look into being a more attentive and inventive lover with someone else.
Thanks for your words.. I found it a really cold a cruel way of mentioning it... The fact she brought up my ex's and doubted what I answered.. Really cruel indeed. I had even cooked for her that day lol
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
You should approach this by blocking her and moving on from this cruel, cold woman. Some people get a kick out of bringing others down. Don’t take it personally.
She's negging you!
My thought exactly. It’s power play mind games, even if she doesn’t realize it. OP needs to have some self-respect and never hook-up with this woman again. His dick is just fine and will be better put to use with someone who appreciates it fully.
Exactly! She knew what she was doing. I bet she was disappointed when she didn't get a reaction on spot, and excited when he asked about it later.
You break up and move on.
>“bone pressed length” Everyone knows that the official way to measure is from the asshole. Or maybe that's how you measure the length of a cat's tail. /s
the only dick problem you have is the current girl your dating
lol you are above average size according to medical reports. She just wants monsters. Maybe not a good fit no pun intended. I couldn’t think it would be good to be in a relationship with such a person that would brag about her vaginal hunger that was probably fed and created mostly by sex toys and dildos…
She does watch lots of porn.. But I had the impression she was comparing me to her ex's
You are not going to get over this. It will be on your mind every time you are intimate with her. Just move on. It's not you at all. You are at a normal or slightly above size. It's her issue. Go find someone who appreciates you for you.
Lesbian women orgasm more than straight women. Another way to look at that: people with *zero* penis are giving women lots of orgasms. Also, why be with someone unkind? Move on.
She’s a nasty woman and this is a red flag 🚩 I’d never say something like that to a partner . Sorry that’s just plain mean
Next time you have sex mid act say “Gosh, it’s like chucking a hotdog up a hallway down here” and wait for her response. Do prepare to be single after this, but it might open her eyes a little.
Break up with her. Making fun of someone during sex is mean. Flat out. You’re already in a vulnerable position and she teased you. She’s weird. End it.
My opinion as a woman, if that counts for anything. She has no right to comment on your size. This is literally the equivalent of putting her down for her breast size. It’s something that can’t be helped and is really cruel. The further issue that this can cause is performance anxiety and she’ll be the first one complaining when that happens or you don’t want to sleep with her incase she makes a comment again. She was insensitive and her comment was emotionally not very intelligent. For me personally, I always tell my partner he is perfect and I enjoy x,y and x with and about him. I understand men carry huge amounts of pressure and masculinity in their private area and performance. And I want him to feel his best. As a loving partner she should not be commenting on this, or found a better position without having to put you down in the process or not be with you at all if that’s what she really thinks and feels. I would talk to her and tell her how it made you feel and ask her how she would feel if you made a comment about her body parts that are out of her control. I would put a boundary in place, such as, if you comment again on my size or mock me, I can no longer be in a relationship with you. If she apologies and shows genuine regret and changes her behaviour, I would forgive her but if she refuses to take accountability or does it again, or plays it off as nothing, I would seriously have a hard think about whether the relationship is right for you or not. She should be lifting you up, not knocking you down. You deserve respect and someone who accepts and loves you for you.
Btw, why are you making her dinner and desert? She should be making you that to say sorry. Please don’t take sh*t from people. I’m sure you could do better.
I did it before, she was getting off work and wanted to do something nice for her. It was after dinner when we were in the couch she asked my about my ex's and giggled at my answer.
Please don’t go down the path of insecurity. Its bs and penis pumps are actually bad for your junk. Dump that woman and don’t look back.
Nope, that’s just plain rude and insulting. Move on and don’t let her comments get into your head. Some people are just plain mean, when actually they could just say they’re not that into you.
Does she make bad comments? She doesn't really want it, so don't give it to her
You could have retorted with something like "well how can you tell anyway, it is like throwing a hotdog into a hallway down there". Something as snide anyway
OP, I thought you were gonna say less than 10 cm with how that was built up. I’ve dated someone who was quite a bit smaller than that, and the only issue was in certain positions he couldn’t reach, so we just avoided those. Sex was still fun as hell because I liked him! Kind of mean to mock you for something that guys are known to be sensitive about, when in reality size makes very little difference and your actual size seems average if anything. Keep your chin up and maybe reconsider if you actually like this person or not. Casual cruelty is kind of a turn off…
Umm dump her? Putting up with this will lead to worse disrespect as she’ll see you as a doormat who will put up with it.
It's just negging. If she really doesn't want you, she'll move on soon enough.
OP you are a tad over average. This woman is not partner material. Just leave her to the abnormal few. She probably has such a high body count that she can't feel anything until she is totally stretched out.
This girl is like a weird combination of extremely picky, toxic, and totally lacking self awareness. Stay away. She will infect you with her mental illness. Normally a girl should encourage you.
You should deal with it by dumping her. She purposely insulted you, then went big-eyed with surprise when you were hurt by it. She's a manipulative twat.
Move on. Sorry but no woman worthy of you would ever do that. The fact is, small can be powerful, beautiful and exotic. The fact she took the humiliation route says she doesn't deserve a man in her life. You are too good for her xx
Plenty of my lesbian friends very rarely engage in actual penetration. Mostly oral and digital stimulation, and they seem pretty content in their sex lives. So no, having a giant hog isn't what's going to make a great sexual experience. Most women I've been with have been far more interested in clitoral and g spot stimulation. Neither of which require a 9x9 or whatever is her ideal. This sounds way more like controlling abuse. If the sex was so bad, why is she bothering? I'd lean far more towards this is her issue far more than it is yours. So your real question should be what to do about it? If she's just being a size queen, then toys or break up. If a control issue, therapy and open dialogue or break up. If unwilling to try new things with you to find something that satisfies both of you, then break up. Personally I'd lean towards break up as no matter her reasoning, that was both disrespectful and emasculating, and there's no way to unhear that or unfeel what you do now without a lot of time and work. Good luck.
Tell the cow to 'tighten up'..
Unfortunately, she probably just gave you a huge insecurity that's going to come back to haunt you once in a while.
She is too immature and doesn’t realize what she said (or she’s terrible) Doesn’t matter in the end because if you are giving orgasms to every partner (that’s amazing in and of itself b/c very few women orgasm from just PIV) your member is just the right size. Ps… if you want an excellent book read these: Come as you are by Emily Nagasaki She comes first by Ian kerner
My ex's seemed to enjoy... I think. Thanks! Gonna look into those! Currently reading: the way of the superior man
Why do you have to think? Unfortunately women do sometimes lie about having an orgasm for so many reasons (they believe it’s easier, saves guys feelings, time, etc.) it’s such a shame, I used to do it myself.(shame) Be open to conversation and ask probing questions, these books helped me so much!
I can’t imagine you laughing at any part of her and her having a calm reaction, what she did was crossing a boundary. You have no control over your length which by the sounds of it haven’t been hindering you in any way.
It definitely has not from what I've observed.. penetration and stimulation in the clitoris seem to work well!
Don't spend time with people who make you feel bad about yourself. Ik why you did it but even adding your dimensions here isn't necessary- it's not about your size here it's about her lack of tact and care in speaking with you about your sex life with one another
Tell her that your penis is average . It's her cunt that is worn out and too big. That should put an end to the shenanigans.
A perfect fit for her small mindedness.
I would have flat out said “we’re done” im not putting up with that.
There is a difference between having a conversation about prefered size/what gets you off and, well, whatever the fuck this is. She is mean and demeaning. If you think you must try to fix this, then just be honest. Tell her that her giggling and bringing up your exes made you feel hurt. If she can't acknowledge how you feel and can't empathise and doesn't feel bad about it, I would advise you to break up. But if it were me, there wouldn't have been a post because I already would've broken up. And if you feel like being mean you could tell her that what she said is like you telling her that her vagina is more loose than your previous partners and you are shocked that her exes didn't tell her.
I mean.. I did feel it a little more loose than what I'm used too. But I figured it's because she lubricates a lot.. But didn't go up telling her that her vag is the loosest cave I've explored.
It’s true that like dicks, vagina’s come in all different shapes and sizes, we’re just less aware of the fact because they’re hidden away and the medical field mostly doesn’t care about women’s bodies beyond their functions for male desire and giving birth. Body politics aside, her having a “bigger” vagina or you having a “smaller” penis isn’t the point, the point is that you two aren’t matching puzzle pieces. That doesn’t have to be a deal breaker, but her insensitive communication definitely should be.
Best take IMO. There's a bun for every hotdog out there OP. Being average (well actually slightly above) you have the greatest chance of finding the right bun compared to someone very large or very small.
Maybe the problem isn't your penis but it's her cave vagina xd jokes aside it's not worth being anxious, not enjoying sexy time and having self-doubts. And don't talk about loose vaginas much, you might find yourself in the middle of a witch hunt here xd
I know ahah that expression is forbidden , but so should "Small Penis" be :(
People don't understand that size is the least problematic thing in sex. Good communication, technique, willingness to adapt on both sides, and intimacy are what makes a good sex life. I have come across men that were below average and had amazing sex, and came across men that were "blessed by the gods" and had awful sex cause they were too cocky to get off their asses. If you are communicating (respectfully unlike your *cough asshole girlfriend*) and are putting time and effort, it shouldn't matter much. There are veeeeeery rare cases where the size actually effects sex life, such as the penis being too big or someone unfortunately having a micro penis, which no one should talk shit about cause there is nothing they can do about it. Your size is good don't let her get into your head.
Totally. Good communication is key. She even proved herself wrong, when we both had pleasure later and she was able to orgasm. However this is something that I'm almost certain will be on back of my mind for a long time and for as long as I'm with her.
Well I think you just answered your question of how to deal with this. It will always be on back of your mind for a long time and as long as you are with her. I guess your best option is to break up if this is something you can't get over.
According to average, you are slightly above average. So next time she says something about your equipment just mention you’re above average and her c”@t is too big. When she gets upset just ask her why does that bother you?
She’s obviously used to being with guys who have bigger ones or it’s her that is a bit loose downstairs, because your size is the average, not small or big just normal, or she’s just saying that to make you insecure.
Tell her her cavernous vag is the problem, your good bro
Ask her why hole is so big? Was she raised on a farm
For one, what she said to you was really rude and uncalled for. What if you told her that her chest was way too small. She would definitely be majorly upset and angry. You are actually average size, and most women don't even get stimulation vaginally. I don't have a full context of either of you, but it seems like she either wasn't in the mood or isn't communicating to you what she needs for pleasure. Honestly, unless you have some strong communication skills and mental willpower, you're always going to think of that moment. If you guys are seriously, possible have a long adult conversation or move on.
14cm and she said it's small? Who has she been sleeping with before you? Horses? Now I don't know you and your girl's racial background or body tipe, but that is not a small penis where I come from. And if she can't make it work while she's on top that sounds like a her problem. Besides all of that, she is cruel, because the bedroom is no place to be saying those things, even if said jokingly. I would suggest to move on, get over it and don't be ashamed of your size, since there is nothing wrong with it.
Your partner is insensitive. She has obviously had other larger men. Move on and avoid the shaming. You are fine, find some one who cares for all of you. BTW...she is shallow.
She is just mean and you deserve better. Also, that lenght is above average in multiple countries and also, 1cm more or less doesn't change much unless you are extremely small/bit, which you definitely aren't. Don't let this perosn pull you down. At best she is inconsiderate, at worst she is trying to manipulate you.
Why us it how should I deal with this instead of I said this back or I’m not putting up with disrespect
she’s just trying to be malicious. your dick isn’t small it’s above average and even if it was smaller that’s definitely not what most people judge sex on. i’m gonna keep it a buck with you, she’s probably seeing/fucking other people. someone who doesn’t respect you enough to insult you directly to your face doesn’t respect you enough to stay loyal. you need to find someone who respects you.
She sounds like a red flag. People get so hung up on penis size and there is so much more to sex than that. And different people like different things. My go-to toy is over an inch shorter than your measurement and a bit less girth. Do not put that much stock into what one person says, especially such a just bad red flag way to say it.
Your dimensions are fine. Your girl, well, leave her and forget about her. Some people are ruthless by nature. Don’t spend time with them, it’s a waste.
Maybe she is the Grand Canyon. Lol . Cut ties with her ASap . Someone out there will find your size perfect. Beside there is nothing you can do about your size .And I think You are slightly above average . Lol
(Almost)every single dude on planet earth is between 4-6”… go outside, and count 10 guys you see: 9 of them have almost exactly your size. You’re perfectly adequate, and anybody trying to make you feel bad doesn’t deserve your time. Good luck with your search for the right girl bro
This is awful. My partner is on the small size (not saying that your small btw). But she should not have reacted that way at all, it's very insensitive to you. How would she have felt if you said she was big. Instead of saying something like that, she should have looked at things to make it work, thats what being in a partnership is all about. You're there to love and support eachother. Me and my bf make it work, we do different things that accommodates us both. And btw her being on top would still work. We do that, and my bf is smaller than you. But just again, size really isn't everything anyway. It's about finding what works, and being respectful about it.
Tell her if she’s got an issue with something like that, she can go fuck herself. Joking about something you’ve got no control over and is sensitive is a shitty thing. I wouldn’t keep seeing her.
I’m a guy and i ain’t got much but when measuring a penis how can everybody come away either measurements to the tength of an inch. wtf is 5.1. 5.9. Oh i got a massive pecker at 7.324159 +- like. Come on please. It’s 5 1/2 or 6. Stop either the decimal system and leave that for fabricators or metal.
Plus i forgot. Ur gf is an asshole. Find a better girl who likes what YOU do have bro. There’s some many better women out there
Is she too loose or are you to small.... i say fuck her hard with your little dick one last time then ditch her
Dump her. She isn’t emotionally intelligent enough to be with you. She may well be a stretched out size-queen and there is no coming back from that.
I was with a guy that had a smaller than average penis. I never said a word. We managed to have a good time anyway. I’m sure you are perfectly fine. This is a “her” problem
Drop the size queen. The fact that she keeps bringing it up means she thinks it’s entertaining to toy with you. That’s disrespectful and frankly indicative of a flawed character. It’s only been a few weeks and already her best behavior has deteriorated to this? It’s only going to get worse. By the way, you are a bit above average size. Anybody who calls you small is either ignorant or a liar who gets a charge out of making you feel bad.
Bro…. I’m a women and I once told my bestie if I a man and I was average no one could tell me shit lmaooo. That isn’t small and you shouldn’t feel insecure you should actually find a better partner!! That’s fucked!
This girl is awful. You are not even small, not that that would excuse her abhorrent behavior. Move on. It has only been a few weeks.
I don’t like her, she is mean
You don’t deserve to be talked to like this about your body. I’m not one for the immediate “just break up” reaction but this is a sign of things to come. I’d get out.
Assuming this post is authentic, she could be "negging" you. Basically putting you down in a way to make herself feel better or you less likely to leave her. What she said was incredibly damaging because she basically implied that nobody ever appreciated you. Run.
This is called Gaslighting. The gameplan of the narcissist. They try and build your dependance on them through lying and deceit. In this case she is stating something false \~ that you are small \~ and implying that everyone you have been with thought so and was not happy with it.... Well shit you better not leave her because she is willing to put up with it right? she is such a good person for loving you and putting up with your small penis. I'm surprised she didn't have you recite a mantra of how humble and amazing she is. I'm actually surprised she showed her cards so quickly and so obviously. Run away. Don't ever talk to her again. And get what she said out of your head, it was a lie and she was trying to control you with it.
Tell her your penis isn’t too small, her vagina is too big. It’s like throwing a hot dog down a hallway..
Give her the boot. If she’s that much of a cocksmith you don’t want to bring her home to mom anyway.
Dude your dick is normal sized
Your dick measurements are perfectly average. She's probably manipulating you. Or she has an unusually loose vag and got lucky with magnum dongs
You're only a few weeks in and she pulls shit like this. Say thank you for not wasting time and showing you're not the kind of person I would like to date and dump her.
The way she’s saying it is soooooo disrespectful. DONT take it personally. I BET there’s something in sex she’s DEEPLY insecure about and she’s projecting onto you by trying to make YOU insecure about something in sex. That’s how they do it. If you’re focusing on YOUR body during sex (as she’s trying to make you do) it stops you focusing on HER body so she can protect herself from feeling insecure about something. Ask her is SHE feels insecure about the sex you have? Ask her if there’s something about her that bothers her about sex. See what shakes down
I would be absolutely crushed if my boyfriend made a joke or was casual about parts of my body as a woman. This is horrible behavior from your "girlfriend". I would dump her immediately. Of course we are human and for men size is already something drilled in to be insecure about and girls it's boob size or tightness down there. None of us want to hear negatives things. That's crushing. I hope you don't take her comments to heart but focus on the fact she is a toxic person that needs to work on herself before her next relationship.
A partner should never body shame, especially private parts. There’s definitely a delicate way to say that a certain position is better for her body than to shame.. in my experience it’s not about the size. My best sexual partner is smaller than you and we had amazing sex and amazing sexual chemistry.
Anyone that gets an echo from their groin area has no place making a comment like that.
Gotta love millenials.
Your size isn’t exactly small bigger than average to be exact, so I think she’s just negging you, I had a ex like this and better to get rid of her now then suffer
Well if you haven’t had any complaints from former partners maybe you’re not too small maybe she’s too loose
Maturely: “ I’m not the problem. You are merely cavernous.”
The practical side is that different sizes and shapes work in different positions. The perfect dick for deep throating doesn't feel great in doggy style. Also, different women have different vagina shapes. Some are more curved upward or downward and the clitoris can lay deeper or be more to the surface. A penis that feels great in every single position and act does not exist. I personally prefer average sizes as they're more diverse. Larger looks slightly better, but is way more limiting in what works. Slightly below average length works best for orgasms for me, actually, although I usually prefer fingers for that. I've seen a lot of penises and the only one I ever deemed 'too small for anything' was a picture in a medical textbook. The psychological side is that what she said absolutely sucks. Isn't rule number one to NEVER tell a guy he's too small if you don't want to completely crush his self esteem? How is she not aware of this? She might call it overreacting, but I'm willing to bet that 90% of guys would react the same as, or worse than you did. I don't really have any advice on what you should do, but she should definitely have known better. Based on everything else she said and did, I think she honestly doesn't understand why it's a big deal. She likes you, she likes sex with you and she knows what she wants, which is the positions that work best with your and her anatomy. Please don't let what she said ruin your confidence, it was absolutely her fault for saying that.
Thank you for the kind words. Totally agree with what you said. If only people were more empathic when talking to others, everyone would be better. I talked to her but she doesn't seem to fully understand why it was such a big deal.
You should’ve told her she had a stretched out worn out pussy and that’s why it felt small to her
She sounds like a very surface level, shallow person, and there are many many girls that don’t act that way
She's trying to tear down your confidence. Men do it to women all the time as a dating strategy and its disgusting 5.9 inches is actually solidly above average. 5 inches is the average for men. So either she's lying, or she's real loose.
Your post is so confusing. She says it's both length AND girth? Your measurements are indeed average. I can think of reasons why she's not okay with "average" but pointing out to you that you are average in her view is a big red flag. She's trying to wound you, IMO. So she wants you to think that ALL of your exes also prefer "much bigger than average"? How ugly. 14.7 cm is actually high average. You do the math. If she wants the sensation of every larger penises in order to get off (long story, but some women want stretching/pain/etc...until eventually there's no one besides a toy to go to regularly). If you are too short and too narrow for her, go find a woman who truly and even desperately values what you have. Short and girthy is not going to work for many women - but is very much treasured by some.
She probably faked the orgasm like most young women do..
Pretty simple. RUN.
She's doing it on purpose to make you insecure. End it.
Bro! Get rid of her asap. She is doing the kind of psychological damage that can take years to get out of. You are the man, don't forget that. Some women like to degradation men because they have a vendetta against the " patriarchy " or some other nonsensical crap. Or her dad didn't buy her a pont. Whatever the reason it's not your concern. Tell her to have a good one via text and block her ass
I have never heard of anyone doing this. It is weird and she is nit a person worth pursuing
Dump her dude.
The cat's out of the bag----she said it and it can't be undone. I don't think she should have said that to you. You either live with what she said and know that you are likely just fine in that department, or move on and exit the relationship.
Just say , " even a Boeing 747 looks small when it flies through a grand canyon" yes it's a WWE comeback 😏😏
Man, you are exactly in the middle of what is normal for size. Unfortunately, you're going out with a size queen. It is highly likely she that she has a high body count and she is loose down there. You will never be assured in such a relationship, so why waste your time. Release this one and let her find her hung Chad while you find a wholesome woman.
Agree with the fellow. In fact, for a long time people thought 6" was average. Turns out, that was quoted from a study where the guys self-reported! And what do you think the guys did? Add a wee bit extra? 😂. If my memory serves me, much more comprehensive studies where the measurements weren't self-reported found the average closer to 5.17". YOU'RE FINE dude! As another person said, it really doesn't matter that much unless it's really small or really big that it hurts. You're a bit above average and most women really don't care anyway! That was a hurtful thing she said. She should have known it would be and if she said so anyway then she did so in complete disregard to how it may affect you and your self-confidence. She wouldn't like it if you told her how loose she was or commented on any other part of her body negatively I'm sure! Forget her! Also, if you need reassurance, check out a "normal distribution" for penis sizes. You'll find that you're with the majority!! Most people are about the same varying slightly. As you get bigger or smaller, the percentage of men with those sizes becomes much smaller in number. You're fine. Don't let it affect your self-confidence.
I just want to make it clear for you and all guys out there that you certainly do not have a small penis (not that there is anything wrong with having one). In fact, for certain brands at your girth, you should actually be using large condoms. If you're not sexually compatable for the reasons she's saying, she's certainly an edge case
That's really weird. You're very close to boringly average size. I don't think it makes a great deal of difference anyway, unless you are very small, or so big it might be painful. It's more what you do with it and other things that matters. Also I think woman on top (unless it's a very weird position) is naturally deeper penetration anyway, so if you were on the small side it would be advantageous. But really it's the mental thing that's the problem. It's a weird thing to say, especially in the early stages of a relationship when you aren't so confident in each other, most ladies would have the sense to realise it's going to be at least slightly hurtful. It's also an odd thing to say in mid-intimacy, sounds like she wasn't really in to what was happening if you know what I mean.
I dunno anymore context on how “toxic” either of u could b but I would recommend being straight up to her and tell her exactly how u feel and communicate. Get an understanding why she said that after u have ur emotions clearly communicated to her before u decide anything for ur relationship.
Get a new girlfriend maybe one that’s under 5’ tall. Your penis will be huge for them
I've had a 5 foot 12 gf and she was one of the ones that felt most tighter. It's not exactly proportional do height
Stick in her ass see what she says
im so sorry bro
Tell her the big problem here is her wizard sleave oversize vagina, not you.
Your size is perfectly wonderful. And plenty for most women. And honestly, you don't even need that much with the right connection and Lust with your partner. Sounds like a, her problem. And her reaction is not reasonable. Imagine the reverse: Your breasts are on the small and saggy side. They are not quite as pleasurable to hold. Really?! Have Your Exs never mentioned your breast size? But they aren't even a handful.
Funny thing is... Her breasts are small and saggy, I think she lost some weight so it just has some loose skin that goes to the sides... And not once have I mentioned it or did it stop me from holding and kissing them.
Maybe mention her pancake breasts next time this comes up? Seriously though she poisoned the well with you. This will always be in your head so break up and find a better person.
Edit: I had even made her a nice dinner and even dessert that day. Felt really bad after this.
You're being negged, my dude.
She's an absolute b***h - that's the only explanation. Never ever ever would I or have I said anything negative about a partner's body, penis or any other part. If you value kindness, compassion and integrity, then move o ASAP. There is no way this can be excused. She is mean and will bring you no happiness. Find someone better. If a man said something like this about any part of my body I would be GONE. Ps: yes, your size is totally normal, but that's irrelevant. Ask her if she minds if you guys do doggy- coz her belly is a bit flabby. See how she likes it!
Commenting the negativ is such a dick move. I would never do that. She would consider my bfs dick to small too. But i have fun riding him. Its not the size. Its mostly technique.
Leave her you should never be in a relationship with anyone who tares you down and makes you feel bad about yourself.
Bro, 50% of the work in the bedroom for my wife and I is mental, 40% is non penetrative touching. The last 10% involves penetrative sex, which Is basically just used to cross the finish line for the both of us, and is the least exciting part. The aftercare is an entire thing of it's own. This woman of yours sounds like she just likes punishment, or being filled. As for the rest of your encounters, if your focus is on your penis, your performance, and your satisfaction then you're probably not paying enough attention to your partner's interests. You should ask them what they like, try experimenting with different kinky or comforting things. My wife doesn't care for sex much, but she loves riding the high of climax and being messaged. I've never met a woman that focused on the size of my penis. That's my rambling thoughts on the matter, but the point is that your size isn't the issue here.
What you have is what you have. Ask her if she has some way to make it a size that she thinks it should be? If not, then ask her if she’ll ever be satisfied with what you have? Her answers will help you decide if you should stay or leave the relationship. From the sounds of it, it’s time to go.
Tell her her boobs are too small or her labias too big...
You are dating a mean girl. Move on, it doesn’t get better
You should tell her it’s not going to work out, due to her being so cavernous.
I am once again begging people not to stay with assholes.
Ewwww. She’s mean. Imagine if the table were turned and you criticized her lady bits. Move on.
Is she on the spectrum possibly?
100% red flag. Not just for dissing you, but this also tells me she is more concerned with how sex "should" be than whether or not SHE even enjoyed it, and certainly not how you felt about it. There's a lot going on there, and it's her job to go figure that out and not be a jerk. If the relationship was much more established I might say get counseling. But this early on, I don't think you have to stick around while she decides how or if she wants to be a better partner.
She seemed to enjoy it at times.. I tried my best and gave her a hell of an oral ahah but yeah, not worth the hassle in my opinion... I'm good looking, smart, good job, house, all that.. and lots of good girls out there.
Why do you even have to ask people for advice? Just dump her!
Maybe suggest to her that her vagina reminds you of the Queens Midtown Tunnel.
I would just say your cunt seems to be too bug, maybe we should rethink positions
There's nothing to do besides walk away she's playing a game and is neging you. I mean you could fire back something in kind it's important to figure out why this would bother someone and try to make an equal insult.
Christ alive, man, dump the shithead.
Stop seeing her geez pretty simple solution she's a horrible person. She says something crappy to you and then basically infers your lying about other women not saying anything to you. She is not a keeper throw her back.
Big deal breaker - She's saying your not "good" enough for her.
You need to tell her the problem is she’s too loose. Seriously who would say that to their boyfriend? That is the lowest of lows.
She sounds nice :D
Leave.
How tall are you?
She sucks!!
Leave her she ain’t worth it
Break up and move on. If the position you guys were in wasn't doing it for her she could have just said that. Bringing up the size of your dick was completely unnecessary.
Nah, you break up with her. Block her on everything. Partners should never go that far. And this may be a bit too much, but fuck it, give her some of her own medicine: have your last comment to her be "if only your vagina format wasn't a fucking cave system."