You're right to want boundaries. Boundaries here are actually best for BOTH of you. You have a patient/caregiver relationship and it's not sustainable. He needs a therapist and you need time away to enjoy your life. You can't be a sponge who soaks up his emotions and he needs to learn to be a partner, not just the recipient of your care. When one person is over functioning and the other is under functioning, the over functioner needs to step back first. You can do it lovingly, but tell him things need to change for both of you and for the future of your relationship. Take some time to learn what you need and how you feel best, and pursue your wellness without guilt.
yeah youre right. I feel like living alone might do me and maybe our relationship wonders, the more i think of living alone, the more my mind is at ease, maybe thats the boundary i need.
“I know I should hold on tight just a little bit longer”- actually no. You should not. You sound more like a care giver treading on egg shells rather than a young woman enjoying a romantic relationship.
This relationship is not working out for you (I don’t think it would work out for anyone else either simply because your bf is not in the right place to be a good partner) and it is absolutely ok to walk away.
You should be with someone who lifts you up, makes you feel loved all the time. Walk away before you lose more of your soul.
isnt it cruel to leave someone whos sick? i know for sure (he told me multiple times) that he would be so much worse without me. it kinda sounds manipulative but i know he means it.
It is manipulation from your bf’s side. It is not going to help him though because using you as his emotional crutch is never going to make him healthy. He needs therapy from a professional who can guide him out of his personal demons.
You can support him from afar without being his girlfriend. You are drowning emotionally but your bf cannot see beyond his own needs. You have to understand that you cannot make him well. He needs professional help.
I know it’s hard but try not to feel guilty. Maybe you should start therapy for yourself so you can get out of this utterly toxic relationship.
I broke up with him 3 days ago(: packed my stuff and already found a new apartment.
Of course he was whining like a baby after I told him he hurt me, but as usual he was focused on himself and how “cruel” I am for leaving.
Thanks for your reassurance, your comment was one of the ones that gave me the confidence and hope I needed❤️
You're right to want boundaries. Boundaries here are actually best for BOTH of you. You have a patient/caregiver relationship and it's not sustainable. He needs a therapist and you need time away to enjoy your life. You can't be a sponge who soaks up his emotions and he needs to learn to be a partner, not just the recipient of your care. When one person is over functioning and the other is under functioning, the over functioner needs to step back first. You can do it lovingly, but tell him things need to change for both of you and for the future of your relationship. Take some time to learn what you need and how you feel best, and pursue your wellness without guilt.
yeah youre right. I feel like living alone might do me and maybe our relationship wonders, the more i think of living alone, the more my mind is at ease, maybe thats the boundary i need.
“I know I should hold on tight just a little bit longer”- actually no. You should not. You sound more like a care giver treading on egg shells rather than a young woman enjoying a romantic relationship. This relationship is not working out for you (I don’t think it would work out for anyone else either simply because your bf is not in the right place to be a good partner) and it is absolutely ok to walk away. You should be with someone who lifts you up, makes you feel loved all the time. Walk away before you lose more of your soul.
isnt it cruel to leave someone whos sick? i know for sure (he told me multiple times) that he would be so much worse without me. it kinda sounds manipulative but i know he means it.
It is manipulation from your bf’s side. It is not going to help him though because using you as his emotional crutch is never going to make him healthy. He needs therapy from a professional who can guide him out of his personal demons. You can support him from afar without being his girlfriend. You are drowning emotionally but your bf cannot see beyond his own needs. You have to understand that you cannot make him well. He needs professional help. I know it’s hard but try not to feel guilty. Maybe you should start therapy for yourself so you can get out of this utterly toxic relationship.
I broke up with him 3 days ago(: packed my stuff and already found a new apartment. Of course he was whining like a baby after I told him he hurt me, but as usual he was focused on himself and how “cruel” I am for leaving. Thanks for your reassurance, your comment was one of the ones that gave me the confidence and hope I needed❤️
Good for you! I’m proud of you for taking care of yourself! Focus on your mental health and do activities that give you happiness ❤️