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Jindo5

There's a spider that's very common in my country which has a cross on its back. Did Jesus eat spiders in his sleep?


vlndleee

Satan made that spider to try to fool those of us who might question this meme


MailCareful7191

He also planted dinosaur fossils in the ground to deceive and turn us away from God


nykiek

Thanks for the trigger there. Yes, I had someone seriously try to tell me this. After I got my degree with a minor in anthropology.


MailCareful7191

I like how they don’t have any scripture to prove it either. Literally the definition of source trust me bro


mybustlinghedgerow

That was actually the gLoBaLiStS


MailCareful7191

Fun facts: The young earth creationism wasn’t a thing until the 20th century and the Big Bang theory was introduced by a Catholic priest.


Silentarian

Didn’t you read? The donkey is the only animal in the world!! Why would you provide easily attainable facts to the contrary and break Jesus’s heart like that??


Loose_Relationship60

Because when he confronts me about it, I can easily break his bones as well 🥰


Manofalltrade

The average son of God swallows 8 iconic spiders every year in his sleep.


theshade540

That’s actually incorrect. Spiders Jeorsus, who eats 10000 spiders a night is a statistical outlier and shouldn’t have been counted


gooch_norris_

Spiders Jesus


omghooker

Anansi?


elrojosombrero

Ristiselkähämähäkki? Yeah, I immediately thought spiders


MailCareful7191

And a toad https://preview.redd.it/z9mj1and25ad1.jpeg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aac58453e4816de4b1566153272db48b486b5cc2


anonyngineer

Is that the toad that you can lick and get high?


Synicull

Spiderjesus, spiderjesus, Does whatever a spider can


Tasty-Dust9501

Yes


SueTheDepressedFairy

I'm gonna guess you're talking about "krzyżak" in Poland? I thought about this lil buddy too!


James_Vaga_Bond

Two lines intersecting at a right angle! It's a miracle!


vlndleee

Let the creator of the entire universe work in his mysterious and low effort ways!


Tlaloc_0

This is reminding me of Blindsight. In that book, the vampire aversion to crosses is explained as them having a vulnerability to right angles in general (which in the book explains why they only were known in myths until humanity recreated them).


dansdata

By [Peter Fucking Watts](https://www.rifters.com/), writer of the very-blackest hard science fiction a heartfelt cynic could ever wish to read. He's absolutely brilliant. :-) And Watts is also such a mensch that you can read "Blindsight" [for free on his site](https://www.rifters.com/real/Blindsight.htm), and also [the Rifters trilogy](https://www.rifters.com/real/shorts.htm) (which is *literally* dark, since quite a lot of it happens at the bottom of the ocean :-). Plus a bunch of short stories.


w00tboodle

[Such a thing surely requires an expert](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BKorP55Aqvg)


Joe__Exotica

I forget the cells, but there are cells that are shaped like crosses. I remember being in a study group and our "Shirley" wasn't as good hearted and never baked us shit. She clapped her hands and said "yes Lord!" When we got to the picture of them. Everyone got quiet for a second and then we read on. It was my first "shape look like other shape, therefore, Jesus" moment.


OkayLadyByeBye

It's Laminin.


MarvelNerdess

Wait, don't be hating on donkeys. They're short, stubborn horses and they act like dogs. And damn can they ever yell at you when they're mad.


The_Disapyrimid

i did a little googling most of what i could find on this was, of course, from jesus blogs. but i did find one post on an austrailan site that says the following, "Researchers believe the same gene that causes a camouflaging colour in modern horses is behind the stripes on the coats of several other animals in the horse family. Different kinds of zebra, the kulan, donkeys and modern horses separated from each other about 3 million years ago, and their common ancestor most likely had some sort of striping or banding, according to Claire Wade, professor of computational biology and animal genetics at the University of Sydney. "You have the full range from the zebras that are striped all over, then you have the Somali wild asses which have a dorsal stripe and banding on their legs, and then you have the donkey which has the dorsal stripe and the shoulder stripe," she said." [https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-10-12/donkeys-where-science-religion-and-pop-culture-collide/10356576](https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-10-12/donkeys-where-science-religion-and-pop-culture-collide/10356576)


vlndleee

Why you bringing science into this?? You're going to start making me question again...


TesseractToo

The best part is how it questions why all donkeys have a cross on their back while showing a few pictures of ones that don't, I guess they forgot to ask if there were white ones when they went for the photos :D


aCactusOfManyNames

Zebras are assholes


ReallyNotBobby

Yes they are. They fucking kick EVERYTHING


Thisbymaster

There is a cross on my dog's anus, is he a holy dog?


-dadda

I don't know about that but you better save all his poop cuz it's holy shit


[deleted]

It's a metaphor for how extremist fanatics are actually donkeys


Precipice2Principium

Somewhere in here there’s a joke about how much of an ass you have to be to wear a cross on your body, or something like that


SlowHandEasyTouch

Morons


DeterminedThrowaway

...what would this mean even if it weren't a coincidence? Donkeys are especially holy animals? To what end? I'm almost offended at how this is so dumb that it's in layers


PleiadesNymph

Do sin, or Jesus died for nothing


vlndleee

I wiped my ass with mixed fabrics today. If that doesn't get me into hell I don't know what else will


Greenie1O2

Coincidence!? I think not!!


Nova_Persona

fun fact mary riding a donkey comes from apocrypha


vlndleee

Wait is this true? I've read the Bible several times and I've never even thought about this


Nova_Persona

[Yep.](https://www.glencairnmuseum.org/nativity-nonbiblical) It's not unreasonable to think Mary might have ridden a donkey, but technically none of the canonical gospels say this, & only apocryphal sources make the specification.


vlndleee

That's really interesting. Never even thought about that haha. Thanks for sharing!


Otherwise_Analysis_9

It reminds me of an old Roman graffiti, mocking early Christians by representing their god as a crucified ass (the animal, okay??).


ReallyNotBobby

Are they suggesting that Jesus was a jackass?


FredVIII-DFH

Two perpendicular lines intersecting each other doth not a crucifix make.


GlitteringBobcat999

Well, time to start voting for Democrats, evangelicals. A donkey with a cross on its back is the symbol of the Democratic Party. That can't be a coincidence. Checkmate!


Zerostar39

That’s not a cross. That’s a ‘T’… for Tony Wonder


Darth_Maaku

Why was the blood of Jesus necessary for the forgiveness of sin when he freely forgave people's sins without shedding his blood? It was a question posed by Holy Koolaid and it made a lot of sense


vlndleee

God literally said in Genesis that because they ate from the tree they may come to eat the fruit of eternal life. Shit literally could have been stopped right there and then but God chose not to do it. The blood of Jesus could have been completely unnecessary but what can you do hahaha


na__poi

I’m convinced.