i'm born & raised here - i wouldn't say i'm burned out by the city but am burned out by corporate america. why can't our salaries match other HCOL areas... 😭

I feel you, I'm always asking myself why do we always have to get a better paying job. Or side hustle. Why isn't it the other way around. Just cut everything in half. All pieces on half. But no wages, why does the conversation always have to be how can I make more money. Instead of how can we just lower everything to meet our needs.

You’re right! It’s because there’s not strong unions here like LA, SF, and even Sacramento. Corporations say we’re paid less because of the “sunshine tax/punishment” but really it’s because we haven’t organized our workplaces. It’s time to organize because nobody can afford to live here on the average salaries!

lol is this really the top comment in this post? Minimum salary here is about 65k a year. I work 6 days a week, 45 hours on average, and I make 34k in a good year. I know plenty who work at least 10 hours more a week than me, and make 10k less a year. The issue isn’t what you’re talking about. The issue is that all the CEO’s and board members in this country (and most) make hundred of millions or billions, while living just blocks away from folks like me.

I sometimes feel burnt out, but then I'll visit friends in other cities and realize they have the same issues - or if it's cheaper, the weather sucks balls. I'm just happy we get good weather, have nice beaches, and bomb Mexican and Asian food, and I won't ever burn out from those.

I left socal 8 years ago and moved to another state. There are so many highly rated Asian foods that ended up very disappointing. I moved back 2 years ago and life is more enjoyable here.

I left SoCal for 7 years and just moved back The quality and sheer volume of the food here is just bar none better than the vast majority of other states I’ve lived and traveled to

DC has incredible food. But it's DC.

LA has incredible food. But it's LA.

Seattle has incredible food. Oh, wait, it doesn't.

DC was one of the places I lived while I was away There was good food, but we had to seek it out, it wasn’t as readily available. And the produce was super expensive and the off season was super noticeable.

Yep. Moved away, the highest rated Mexican food puts mayo in carne asada burrito. Been living off chipotle and planning my meals every trip I go back to SD to maximize good food profits.

I just moved from NYC, and I find the food scene here (other than on Convoy), very disappointing. It’s not so much that there isn’t any good places, it’s that fact that there are so many bad and mediocre places, and that somehow have high ratings.

Also this

This. I felt like OP, there's so many nice things here, but after a decade you start living day-to-day trying to afford this place and tired of the tourist spots. No longer felt the magic and tired of every friendship I had here being so fleeting. I left and came back a year later and I'm scared to leave again. Yes, it is expensive, but you get what you pay for. Laws here make sense, there's always things to do. It's just easy to get stuck in the monotony when gas is so high, you don't want to go out. If you're paying $3k for an apartment already, maybe OP you should move closer to Little Italy, the beach or someplace that makes you more happy. I was miserable because I was paying hefty prices but living in Claremont.

Good advice about more desirable location. Daughter just moved into a beautiful secure complex in PB for 2400.

Exactly. Every city has the same issues. No benefits.

There are benefits. Home affordability, tighter-knit communities. But the places that are going to be affordable are that way because they've got 4 seasons, violent crime, or no one living in them.

The food. It’s the only place I know of where we literally have any kind of food within an hour’s drive

Lmao what? An hour drive is so much time to get to food. Every big city can do that. Have you been to San Francisco or New York or Seattle cuz those alone all have amazing top tier food of every sort. And those are just three big ones, there are tons other.

Not trying to knock SD, but wide range of food options is extremely normal in almost any large US city. Don’t stay in SD just for Mongolian, Thai, Burmese, Nepalese, etc restaurants. When I moved to the Bay Area in 2012 my recruiter mentioned the wide range of food diversity, to which I responded, I live right next to an Ethiopian restaurant in downtown Kansas City. It’s not 1990 anymore.

Also, in a decent amount of like "second tier" cities, theres multiple ethnic enclaves that have plenty of food too. They may not be *as diverse* as SD, but youre still gonna find a variety on top of your standards like Italian

LOL I live feet away from an Ethiopian restaurant in inner loop Houston.

Lived in Houston for 384 days...never again....ever

I have been to every state but three, and I will tell you this - in my travels, San Diego has an absolute lock on Baja-style Mexican food. (E.g., fish tacos, fish burritos, shrimp tacos, lobster tacos, etc.)

I've been here 10 years, and the Chinese food scene here suuuucks compared to LA, New York, SF, so I think people here have some rose colored glasses. And if food and drink being plentiful is an issue, then everyone would be living in New Orleans, because that place is the place for that. Just some shitty summers though.

Mexican food here is excellent. Pretty much anything else, you can do equal or better in most cities. I think San Diego has a criminally poor pizza scene, for example.

The pizza scene in SD has actually drastically improved in the last few years.

Go to Buona Forchetta in South Park.

Have you ever been in or lived in another decent sized U.S. city? Cause it sure doesn’t sound like it.

An hour drive could mean going around the block here

What a response!! I hoped this helped OP to cherish good ol SD a little more!! Because we all feel the same from time to time!

Your 'rant' is completely understandable. I've lived here 22 years and will def never be able to own a home but compared to where I'm from (Phx), life overall is enjoyable given our weather and access to bay, ocean, mtns, desert. Do you have family elsewhere or any ideas where you'd relocate to? The struggle is sadly shared by a lot of us, it's ok to admit not finding SD worth it given the high COL. I truly hope you're able to find a new start elsewhere that makes you feel more at ease.

I was feeling the same but then I visit a girlfriend in Phoenix AZ. I had a lot of bad experiences there in a week than in San Diego my whole life. Here is one of many: I was in a gas station on my last day there at night around 8:00 pm, gas station was literally full of homeless but my tank was pretty much empty, then I had to manage get into the pump because they were just sitting in the floor, when I almost finish I saw a guy at the corner with a coat, hat and a “Machete” running straight to me and my car. I had to left really fast and just think that SD is not that bad like I was thinking…

Spray them with the gas hose. Amazing how people will leave you alone when their covered with gas.

They can still machete you covered in gas too

Not if you light them on fire first

In the real world, the safety mechanism of the fuel nozzle kicks in and you only get a squirt of gas on your feet.

I am very glad you're a fast runner, and you got away - safely returning to San Diego.

I’m imagining a “machete” as a color printout of a machete that he’s wielding aggressively. Or a maybe a Kirkland machete. Anyway. Thanks for the laugh.

That sounds like an oddly specific story that could happen literally anywhere…especially SoCal

I left for 10 years. I’ll never leave again. Even San Diego at its worst is better than most cities at their best. I’ve lived in Houston, Philly, LA, San Jose, Hong Kong, Dublin, Salt Lake City and Park City. San Diego beats them all imo - expect Sydney. I’d live there but that’s about it

I've also lived in many places as a kid and have come to appreciate San Diego as my home. It's to the point where whenever I go on vacation, I get reminded why I live in San Diego.

Nothing like the first burrito back from vacation

Damn right! I literally just did this. Got off the plane and went straight for Mexican food.

I feel that way too. It’s fun to live somewhere that is better than vacation destinations

In fact, many people vacation here. A lot of locals forget that we live in quite literally a tourist/vacation destination city.

I've been asked many times in my travels "what does it feel like to live where people dream to vacation?" Being an SD native, I forget that it's a true vacation destination. As much as I like to get away, I look forward to that view of flying in over downtown and heading straight to the taco shop after leaving the airport.

I saw a survey not long ago, that 75% of people that leave Cali, regret their decision within 2 years. I travel all over the country spending several months per year in each one, and let me tell you, nothing cones close to California. Maybe you could consider changing the areas where you live and feel differently about it.

Way better than any other big city in America, but that's a pretty low bar.

Left SD 15 yrs ago. Been in Sydney the past 5. Sydney is like a budget San Diego for a premium price.

Sydney is the best on earth. Love it so much.

Been through 3 layoffs in last 3 years. This one is taking much longer for me to find something else, with very little relevant openings and more biotech industry layoffs on the horizon.

I'm so sorry. I've been laid off multiple times in biotech too. It sucks. My company seems to have a good cash runway for the next few years so I'm really trying to keep my mouth shut and not rock any boats. They are purposely keeping our R&D department lean right now which seems to be a good path so we are all heavily needed. What part of biotech are you in?

yep that what biotech is famous for, tons of angel investment capital, burns out in 2-3 years hoping to get FDA approval on the next big thing

Mostly biopharma on the analytical and formulation side (r&d). Big issue I’m having is I have connections in places that aren’t currently hiring, and the ones that are, either the position is only partially relevant to my skill set, or in the case of my last round of interviews, i wasn’t the only one with a referral. So I had to be perfect. I’m about to do another round so hopefully this turns out better. But yeah, I see the value in a network and will want to pay it forward since it’s tough out there.

It's true. The tech market is abysmal in San Diego right now.

I lived in San Diego for 12 years. I always said it felt like I was just treading water. I wasn't getting much ahead, but I wasn't falling into debt. Just living.

Don’t feel sorry about your rant, I lived 3 decades in San Diego, making above average income, living in Chula Vista, the night life is great, the ocean is beyond beautiful, the people are just so amazing, I have to say, I miss San Diego, like crazy, but so expensive, I moved out, and as much as I miss San Diego, I don’t regret moving out.

I don't regret moving either. Miss san diego for sure and always will, but it feels so good being able to breathe financially, having double the home, and 1000% more peace and quiet. When I need my SD fix, I'll just make a trip out there. Love ya, SD!

What state did you move to if you dont mind me asking? I’m 25 myself, born and raised here. I remember as a kid seeing signs saying “Rent $700” and thinking Jesus! $700 to live somewhere! Crazy that in my lifetime I’ve noticed it become so unaffordable to think about living here. I really dont understand what the city or government think young people are going to do to live here, i really wonder if it will become an uprising type situation. Personally, after I get my degree and work 2-3yrs in my field, I really would like to move to Texas for comparable pay, no income tax, and way cheaper houses. I wouldn’t want to imagine raising kids here, with all your income going to living costs even if you make 8k a month or more! It’s like the American Dream just does not exist in California anymore sadly.

I moved to ND, my rent is $700. $850 with utilities. 2 bedroom house. My dog has a backyard.

Sheesh! I have a close friend from Missouri, and I was always jealous how they’d speak of single guys being able to rent on their own, although their overall income was a lot smaller than people here. I feel like San Diego just keeps all the young people living with their parents forever

I kinda felt the same about friends in Texas, I even considered moving to Texas, cost of living out there is way less then California.

I feel the same way. Left two years ago. Miss it, more like I miss what it was 20 plus years ago when I first moved there. It’s not the same anymore for me, so I don’t regret the move.

I 1000% feel this. It’s why I’m moving in a few days. I’ve lived here my whole life and was born here and I just can’t take it anymore it’s too much. I’m ready for a slower life style and some solitude.

If you don't mind me asking, where are you moving and why did you pick that area?

I am also curious to know!

I’m right here with you. I’ve been here over a decade. I used to really enjoy my life, but my rent was half what it is now, SDGE wasn’t raping us every month, and gas was still under $4 a gallon. I’m getting so much less for so much more. I step outside and it’s beautiful and sunny, but what am I grinding so hard for? Leaving in June. It was a good run, but for me, it’s time to move on.

good luck in your next city

Totally see where you’re coming from, and what I’m hearing is you should leave. If you’re asking yourself “why am I here?” And not coming up with a good reason, you may want to get a better idea of what’s really important to you and where that may lead to you living. I agree with all of your assessment on cost of living, and I stay because I love my job and friends.

Left and purchased a 5 bedroom home in Michigan on an acre of land, no neighbors and a creek running through our backyard for $230k. Kids in a great school. The town is like a hallmark movie. No regrets

Similar story here. Moved to a Midwest college town. Have four seasons now and my sense of time is restored. I love seeing the stark changes nature goes through each year. Own a home with a big yard for a mortgage payment about half of what a one bedroom rents for in SD. Have a sense of community that I've never known living in any Western city (I actually know and like my neighbors!). Even in small towns the food is great. I don't need to live a few minutes from the beach -- SD is a wonderful place to visit, but I'm glad I don't live there anymore. I can now live way below my means while having a much better quality of life. The extra money allows for more savings, travel, pursuit of hobbies and other interests, etc.

Where?

Always interesting to see where these conversations go….there are so many amazing places to live out there, and so many amazing opportunities. Don’t be afraid to try something/ someplace else. This place isn’t going anywhere. You might try something for a few years and return later, and be in a completely different financial position or have a completely different perspective. I’ve lived in several different states and visited about half of em. I’d be very happy and fulfilled in several of those places. But I have been willing over the years to explore and experiment. Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb…that’s where all the fruit is. Also, lots of people will badmouth Escondido around here. It’s different from a lot of San Diego neighborhoods but also better in many ways. Definitely more space. Takes me about a half hour to get wherever I wanna go, regardless of where I am in San Diego.

I've been living here for several decades and have felt the same way. The thing that prevents me from leaving are friends that have left and then want to move back here -- its usually after they spend a winter living somewhere else or going through the hot/humid summers in another southern state.

Yup. Thats why I moved away 5+ years ago. I was a city employee for 8 years. Now I live in a small town in Washington and my wife and I collectively make more money than in San Diego with less living expenses. Don't get me wrong, San Diego still has awesome stuff going on and we visit friends and family often, but living there is not sustainable.

It sucks everywhere. Every city sub has the same complaint. But generally speaking it's not uncommon for people to stay in expensive California cities for a while and then bail by their early to mid 30's. I've seen a few folks fall into the "I'll be a renter forever like they do in europe" trap and by the time they hit 50, have no retirement and no home, they're panicking and unfortunately it's not solvable at that point in many cases. A lot of expensive cities are full of 20 somethings who are supported by parents, going into debt, ignoring the fact they're robbing their future, etc OR the very old. Middle income and middle age usually move on. And no, you probably won't like the new city as much but you have to be realistic about your future and what you can afford to do long term.

Yup, got burnt out by Portland after 11 years there so I moved back to Southern California. I picked SD because it was 3 hours from my hometown, close but far enough to be different. Well besides the change of scenery it still sucks, but at least I have sun now. I don’t care about anything but the sun.

Yea, I kept getting chased out of my rentals by the owners selling the house. Not one, not two, not three, but, four of the places I lived in Portland was sold by the owner and we were given 90 day vacate notices. Portland broke my heart.

Sounds about right. Renting in PDX is rough being that it’s always shuffling. With that said 90 day notices are amazing, I don’t think we have that here in SD. Not sure though, I’ve only been here a year and half and my PM hasn’t raised rent or anything yet.

60 day notice, in some cases in SD

I chased a business opportunity to New England. Left LA with everything I could pack in a car. The sun is everything. Never leave the sun.

Michigan born and raised but living in SD now. Whenever I go home for the holidays I get so fucking depressed. Sunshine is priceless.

I moved back to Michigan briefly to take care of family. The summers can’t be beat but the winters can’t be worse.

I always think about the damage salt and snow had on my cars, too. I used to burn through cars in MI. Out here they last way longer. But I agree, summers are paradise in Michigan. People out here get so confused when I scoff at the beaches because MI beaches are far superior.

I always say I’d rather be homeless in sun than rich in the dark. People don’t realize what it’s like living somewhere that’s mostly overcast and damp. It’s rough even more so if you grew up in a sunny warm place.

The most oblivious people are those who grew up with actual seasons or mostly overcast weather. They cope by saying they love fall and spring, but… the weather is ass most of the year. It’s worst in places like Boston where it doesn’t even always snow in winter… it just freezes. Freezing rain. Sideways.

Thank you! Finally someone realistic. New England blows, there are only 2 seasons, summer and winter. Pleasant fall and spring last 3 weeks, then it's either cold and gloomy or hot and humid

Alaskan living in San Diego (always broke) pipping in. We drink for breakfast too! But the sun is priceless.

Freezing rain is my arch enemy, and at the same time has gotten me out of work so many times. I do miss inclement weather days off from work, I’d always start it with a brewski

Someone understands what the luxury of being able to complain about the rain.

“I'd rather be depressed in California Oceans got the only blues I need”

I've lived in SD for 12 years but considering moving somewhere greener. I love being out in nature, gardening, etc, and I'm just sick of the dry crispy deserts. I know we've got mountains and more here, but still. Not to mention prices and trying to buy a home soon. Portland and Oregon in general are pretty high on the list. I've been in the summer and it's gorgeous, but I haven't really experienced the gray winter. How bad is the winter? Any other pros and cons of Portland? What kind of other things did you enjoy and dislike compared to SD?

Current Oregonian chiming in: the winters are like, 8 months long here. By the end of January you’re ready to cry but it doesn’t actually get much better til like late April or May. We just had our first 70 degree day yesterday and it’s raining again today and supposed to be in the 50s all next week again. The end of summer is also just smoke season. Like, choking you out smoke and 110 degrees. We have about 2-3 really lovely months. That’s why it’s bustling all summer and there’s something cool to do every day: 3/4 of the year we have to just hide in our houses and get pale and depressed. I left SD bc being in the service industry, I just couldn’t make enough money to both pay rent AND enjoy all the lovely things SD has to offer. I miss it so much!

I used to agree with every big city is the same idea but after being here, I don’t anymore. Cities that are known to attract young professionals and start ups seem easy to make work after living here. I know Denver is cliche here but Austin, Miami, Phoenix and Salt Lake City have attracted like minded people for these reasons. Now when I visit them, I feel like I actually have extra money like I used to

I choose to move out of SD back in 2018>2019 new years for these very expensive reasons and aswell i would be trying to look for a job or something of work that i would enjoy doing rather than just being somewhere just to make money. And this shit is ridiculous! No one would take me in to work, relied on postmates/doordash to make money and an odd job of dumping crappy physical spam advertisements in neighborhoods for some jackass. Rent crazy high (1,400 minimum) and would have to have financial help from parents in order to have a roof over my head. Didn’t stay in college because fuck debt, so also no degree, and life was just worse and worse by each day because it was the same pattern of living ALL THE TIME. After experiencing Berlin and found my calling card there, i jumped ship from SD to Berlin to work specifically with music, and still with financial support with parents but we agreed on this. But yet they gave me the bare minimum to work with when first moved so i had to starve for my first several months. Somehow, i was able to make it work and stretched my stay in Berlin to six years, and now i’m feeling i should visit san diego to see how the city is doing and wondering if i really made the right decision for myself. As in, did SD get “worse,” financially speaking, and what would be worth it to me in the future of if i should stay here or move back to SD (hometown born and raised). And i see all these high prices of EVERYTHING and even thinking of a trip back would cost me and my family more in 3 weeks vs just staying in Berlin. It’s fucking abhorrent how capitalism has failed me, and others, back in SD and USA and it’s also infecting Berlin too. Where do we, the poor and/or the ones who don’t value money and capitalism, go? It’s inhumane what is happening in my opinion. And the worse thing is, the prices will never stop rising.

It got way more expensive since 2019. Every time I think we are at a peak, it just gets more expensive. I'm so shocked with how ridiculous housing has gotten in SD. I was lucky to be able to buy a house in 2021, but we had to go way east to Winter Garden area. Paid 690k for a house that only a few years earlier was maybe low 400's. Now it's worth well over 800. It's insane. I don't know how people are affording it, I wouldn't be able to buy my house today. If you can get a dual citizenship or anything long-term in the EU I would say stay there. I don't know what paths to citizenship they have but you will, I think, be better off. You have better support for housing, healthcare, childcare depending on the country. Healthcare costs are out of control in America. I only have good health insurance because of my job. If I had to go to through the state exchange I would be looking at easy $800/month just for me and back to HMO or super high deductible. And good luck affording a kid here because childcare for a newborn is starting typically at $2000/mo. Goes down a bit as they get older. For my husband and I it really was a choice between buying a house and hopefully saving enough for old age care or having a kid. Couldn't have all 3, so no kids. If Berlin is getting too expensive maybe other cities in Germany would be better or another country. Land in Spain is pretty affordable if you don't mind living far from people and putting in some work to build a small home and grow some food and raise some animals. Its definitely a place my husband and I are considering. Good luck on your decision. I'm jealous you got to live in Berlin. I really enjoyed it there.

Yup. I couldn't agree more, and it's why I advocate for OP to consider living well below your means. What I mean is, if it cost you $3k/month to rent an apartment. See if you can find a room to rent for maybe $800-1500/month. Then put everything towards retirement and savings/investments. Why? The benefit of living in an expensive place is there's room to to save a lot more than in lower cost cities. If you do that, over time you will amass a significant amount of money you can use towards a home, retirement or otherwise. Of course, if you're miserable where you live, then a change is probably what you need. I would seek out first to see if that's really what's bothering you, or if you're just seeing a bleak future? If it's the latter, that's changeable and you're in the best position to do that right now. What I can say is, I moved out of California to Nevada, to Florida (Miami Beach) and now I'm back in Nevada. Moving back to CA is too expensive and my wage wouldn't increase unless I get a new job, which I don't want too. Las Vegas very much feels like a suburb, but I don't mind. I got access to everything I want easily here, compared to in Miami Beach. The grass might not be greener on the other side, and only you can figure that out if it is.

Great post and advice. To get what you want, you You have to sacrifice

if you can move and make the same money you should go to Michigan, Ohio, Tennessee, New Mexico, and Arizona but if you do not have a remote or transferable job. Those places are cheaper and have good cities and suburbs but also local jobs don't pay anything so you would just be moving to the same problem

Imagine how us lesser paid people feel

I'll say this ... Times do change. I moved to San Diego just off of Market Street and First Street. Right next to the new Ralph's grocery store!! There was no east village. Ballpark wasn't built, no Hard Rock Hotel, but man, was it chill. You could walk downtown like it was a small village... Little Italy was a sign and the Busalacchi brothers. The city died at the 10th Ave liquor store ..lol. And it was....... awesome 😎 I think what happens is, some things change in the city, but you find you change thru your years and the culture changes way more As you live past a decade in any city like SD, you'll notice a new generation of people coming in, changing vibes, etc. key frames such as the Recession or COVID changes things too. Either you evolve with the town, with that comes finances, family, personality, etc , or you go and try something else. Hey, ..if you move somewhere else and come back, what would really have changed? ..a palm tree a foot taller .. a taco shop changes its name. Not much Have fun, go live life. Don't stay anywhere you don't find happiness. It will be there if you want to call it home

I found a place in Costa Mesa too good to pass up. So scary at 70 , alone.

I so hear you. I was just thinking the same thing before I opened the app. I feel like im in a perpetually angry state because of it. Everyday I ask myself if it’s worth it. Hard cuz aging parents are here too.

Yes. It has become oppressively expensive here. I don't have immediate plans to move but I certainly don't see us staying here for more than 5 more years.

Don’t forget to add all that, plus the monumental increase in traffic, high gas prices, and the overall feeling of people coming less and less friendly

I got priced out of North Park about 3 years ago. Things are better now and it's always been my desire to move back. However on a Sunday afternoon I found I had to park almost a mile away. As soon as I left someone took the spot. That being said the neighborhood someone feels different to me, and I don't even mean the parking situation. Now that I have no desire to move back Ive begun to plan my exit.

you are not alone, feel the same way, I am barely making ends meet with 2 kids as a divorced dad and have them half the time, the only reason I stay is for my kids, I have to be a part of their lives, otherwise I would of left already and I am a CA native. Most people here are not natives but transplants with lots of money from other places now.

I feel the same way. I’ve been here 34 years. My adult sons live in the area and I have a small business . It’s hard to start over in a new place at this point in my life. I don’t think the costs here are worth it. There are many beautiful places in this country.

I could’ve written this myself. I make above average money, but can’t put as much as I’d like in retirement or savings, because I don’t have that much extra. Last week I made the decision to move to Phoenix. A house, backyard, pool for $2400. Yes the heat is horrible, but I’ve lived in the south before, and it’s easy to get used to. I’m happy I can finally live in a house again, and give my dog a yard. I sadly can’t do that in SD… and I fucking LOVE San Diego. I want to be able to come back at some point, but maybe when I have a boyfriend to split the costs with. And I hate that I’m saying that, but having one income here is tough. I’m a woman and walking my dog downtown is never relaxing. I’m constantly keeping aware of where I am, the corners I turn where homeless usually are, etc. Homeless and dickheads constantly yelling shit at me like I’m a piece of meat. And I never can yell back, because they can easily retaliate. It’s exhausting. Not saying that’s something specific to SD, but it’s definitely elevated here. And I hate that I’m moving, but SD is just too expensive.

I moved here from Bay Area and it’s 10% cheaper but with 100% more annoying people and drivers.

We need to pass a law that makes it illegal for - a non human entity to own a residential property - someone to collect rent on a residential property they don’t live in at least 50% of the year This would force mega corporations to sell the homes they own and remove residential properties from the stock market. Housing shouldn’t be a commodity; it’s a basic human right. It would also make people who own multiple homes as a source of income to sell. Unless they are wealthy enough to own a home and not collect rent on it they shouldn’t be using housing as a source of income when we have a shortage.

too bad corporations are humans when it's convenient for them to be

Yup In some cities, 40% or more of home or condo purchases have recently been corporate entities. We're heading back to the 19th century, where large numbers of the population of cities lived in boarding houses

Agree. This is the real cause of homelessness. Not that we don't have enough housing. We do need more housing but what we actually need is more affordable housing. That won't happen so long as housing is a commodity that people/corporations can profit off of.

While I do agree, seems all big cities in the US have many of these same issues, just don’t have the weather, beaches, proximity to Mexico, and all the other things that make San Diego great imo. For me, if I were to leave San Diego it’d for sure be somewhere abroad. I just don’t see anywhere in the US that beats it, from a big city perspective of what I enjoy. Yes, ofc New York, Chicago, Miami, etc. all have their pros and cons. Now if you want to move into the countryside or deep into a forest or prefer the cold, etc. well that’s a different discussion.

Was born and raised in Coronado my whole life and moved to Austin 4 years ago and have never been a happier, mentally healthier person. I’m 32 now and am finally enjoying myself by indulging in hobbies and authentic relationships that bring meaning to my life because the city and its culture enables me to. Don’t let California’s really good marketing convince you there’s no better place to live. The only place you live your entire life is in your head so make it a happy place.

One thing I heard, which I really didn't believe at first, was that middle class Mexicans in Tijuana have a better standard of living than the middle class in San Diego. I cross the border all the time and yes I'm starting to realize that the dollar goes much further down in Mexico. And the middle class there that make a fraction of my income are doing really well with affordable housing and living expenses. But now, you have lots of Americans crossing the border to live in Tijuana which is clogging up the border during rush hour and increasing prices.

I also have a very good salary. I have 3 roommates, I live in North County, have 3 cars (one is old enough to vote, the other is ten years older than me). Living alone, especially in the city is not for the faint of heart, or wallet. The amount my quality of life increased when I went from paying $3500 a month plus all the utilities to paying $1100 a month with all utilities included is indescribable. Instead of stressing about money every day and working as much as possible, I bought a ‘84 Suzuki Samurai and cruise around the beach, never think twice about grabbing a few beers or a $25 cheeseburger that beach hangouts are getting famous for in these trying times. Seriously, consider cohabitation. Rent being 20% of your take home pay instead of 60-75% will make anyone will like a millionaire. Plus you can afford a far nicer neighborhood with roomies. My 4 bedroom house with a two car garage and a pool in Santa Fe Hills is about 1/3rd of the cost of my roach infested section 8 friendly apartment complex in Escondido that had cops there every night.

After 20 years, we left in 2018. Too many people and local G was quite incompetent and corrupt. No infrastructure and electric bills were climbing with no end in sight. Sdge has everyone paid off...

I moved here three months ago from Santa Cruz, which while seemingly no cheaper, the north end of the state has a better work life balance by a mile. I’m already burned out with this place and will be leaving as soon as my lease is up. I make almost $200k a year and it goes nowhere here. I was very comfortable in the Bay Area.

Same. I had a homeless man start shitting on the trolley when I was coming home from grocery shopping. It's time to move

https://preview.redd.it/4mikgrvsoovc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cc0dd914a6993db44a2fecfcd5a8539849842649 Denver these days. Needles everywhere meth in libraries and trains are frequent complaints. Until they do something about the flow of fentanyl over the border, we are going to keep minting new addicts . Yeah, those are needles all over the ground. Kids get stuck with them on the play ground in front of the Boulder library and in the creek tubing.

[I'd worry about the American's making it all possible.](https://abc7.com/deputy-fentanyl-mexican-cartel/13831304/)

I am experiencing the same. Not sure I will be able to stay anymore.

Yes I was and I moved away because of it

It’s the same in most of the country, read this Zillow market-t... Average Rental Price in New Jersey & Market Trends 3 days ago — The median rent for all bedrooms and all property types in New Jersey is $2,500. Median Rent. $2,500. MoM Change.

I lived in SD for 26 years. Moved away 4 years ago. The *only* thing I miss is the food scene.

ive lived in Albany, NY / Manhattan / SF / Denver and now SD I might still be semi-new but its worth it compared to the other areas in my opinion. Everything is getting more expensive everywhere. When I left Denver my property tax was gonna double, insurance was gonna go up 60% because of bad hail storms. The same hail storms made my car insurance rates go up. I pay slightly more hear for gas/electric then I did in Denver because in winter the heat is always going and in summer the AC is going 12-14hr a day. Here we just open our windows and the heat/AC barely come on

I live in the IE and lots of large companies are struggling to hire people in San Diego because they pay shit wages that dont reflect the HCOL. Nobody wants to commute from more affordable areas to San Diego either. All of California is burning people out because housing is just ridiculously unaffordable.

SD born and raised. Now I live on the beach in a cheap country and life each month is like $500 to $800 for what would be $5000 back home. It's not all upsides but you get used to it. Still miss SD and if somehow I strike it big and become a multimillionaire then I'll come back.

People across the board are just burned out.....

I moved and I gotta be honest it’s awesome.

I was burned out in LA.

Go with your gut. San Diego is a HARD place to live. I did not grow up there, but I lived there 3 years. About 2 years in, I started to feel like you did and that was a seed that kept growing and led to me feeling unfulfilled living there. If you continue feeling this way, start looking around at other states.

I'm a SD native and moved to Corpus Christi. I love it here, your money goes a long way. They have mansions sitting on the bay for under a million. I'm not rolling like that, but it blew me away considering real estate costs in SD. You can easily buy a nice home with a pool here for 350k.

But you end up being stuck in CC because the little money you get there won’t get you anyplace else.

Maybe, but I like it here. I'm pulling in 100k so I've got some other options if I wanted to leave

Good to know. I think my initial reply assumed a lower salary, perhaps unfairly. I get that from seeing people say “I may only make $45k a year, but I’ve got a house and yard” in xxx lower-cost state. They may have that, but for them moving to a higher cost state will be very hard. Moving from a high-cost, high-salary state to a lower cost state, on the other hand, is almost like a windfall.

Exactly. When I lived in SD I lived paycheck to paycheck, savings was barely an option. Here I can save and have extra money to do the things I couldn't afford to there. Not only that but I have a one minute walk to the bay, a 4 br home sitting on on acre. I really love San Diego, and CC is nowhere near as beautiful, but the lower cost of living, safety, lack of traffic and other things more than make up for it for me.

This is such a weird SD frame of mind. There are a lot of other places even in LCOL areas where you can pull the same salary as SD depending on what you do. My brother is in construction project management in bumfuck midwest making 110K/year, bought a small fixer-upper (bust still livable) 3 years ago for 100k...like more than half of SD residents make less than that and pay 3-4x his mortgage in rent. I don't think you even need a college degree for that job, though he has one.

Dang I remember when San Diego used to be considered cheap. Cross that off the list. I think it’s a common feeling anywhere you go at this point though. RIP middle class.

I’m not burnt out but kinda frustrated. I work at a nightclub in gaslamp and this is just my opinion but why am I getting parking tickets when people are smoking ‘’dope’’ next to my car or on the adjacent side of the street. It seems like generating money is more important then helping the streets be clean and more important helping the people that need help. Over the last decade downtown San Diego makes skid row look like a nice place… But cost of everything keeps rising.

Maybe move to east county. Rent is cheaper so you will have more money left over.

That's not quite so true anymore. I live in Santee at the moment and it's rapidly catching in price - my current apartment hits their max increase year after year despite there being no changes to their costs of operation. I'm out at the end of my lease, I'm moving back to WA. I can rent a whole house for what I'm paying for rent on a 1 bedroom in Santee.

The cheapest apartment in Santee on Zillow right now is $2,200 for a 1 bedroom 1 bath, 600 sq ft. We left 3 years ago & our apartment in Santee was $1,475 for something similar. It’s so nuts!!! :(

East County has more 70 degree sunny days than coastal. It does get hotter here, but usually just a few weeks in August/September. You won’t have all the excitement of Pacific Beach, but it is less expensive. People never understand that desirable places are expensive.

“Rent is cheaper…” Every metro city is expensive.

as it were, San Diego happens to be the #1 **most** expensive

I know so many people who moved out of the CA and came right back. If you do leave, don’t sell your house because you won’t be able to buy when you come back.

I sympathize with everything OP is saying. I also moved away from SD for 15 years. Five in San Francisco and 10 in the Central Valley. I just moved back about nine months ago. I am never ever leaving SD again.

I definitely feel that whenever I come back to visit family. I moved to Santa Cruz a few years ago and live in a relatively cheap apartment right above my work downtown. I’m able to walk 2 minutes to groceries and necessities and honestly not having the stress of traffic and car maintenance has been a big factor in me not wanting to move back. The sprawl and need to drive everywhere in SoCal really wore me down but being able to walk and have all my needs met has been so worth it

This city is more expensive than most. There is no question about that. But it is also a lot nicer. Sounds like your apt complex is not that great. I'm sorry for your experience. Our first town home was horrible. So bad my wife wanted to move back to LA all the time. Then we found a better quieter town home and have been a lot happier. Every city will have things that are great and things that are not. Goal is to figure out which one has the great things you value and compromises that don't bother you. For us San Diego has been fulfilling. Took a bit to adjust but we like it a lot now.

The only thing that burns me out here is the traffic/ driving. Besides that, I got exactly what I asked for/ expected when I moved here. Every time I travel somewhere in the US, I am reminded why SD is so amazing. I live in a travel destination. Only cities that have rivaled it for me so far are in Europe, and I don't want to live in another country.

I’ve been in CA San Diego for over a decade and since 2021 I have been wanting to move out but it seems like the east coast is the less expensive option

Have been for awhile. Need to wait until my husbands contract is up @ work.

[удалено]

I left SD 20 years ago for the pnw. It was a rat race there, here too, but love living in the pnw

Try a new neighborhood. North county maybe.

Yep. This is why I’m leaving California.

Yeah. I have 10 more months of school and my husband has 1 1/2 years. After that we’re leaving and looking at getting horse property in the Midwest. As beautiful as San Diego is, we’re barely scraping by. We have two kids and we want them to have a happy life, not one where we’re constantly wondering if we’ll make it to next payday with enough groceries.

Not “burned out”, but I’m quite over the crime, housing situation for the non-rich, cost of living, homelessness, and people seemingly just not giving a crap about anyone or anything post-Covid. I got lucky and got a mortgage pre-Covid, so I feel extremely lucky, but also stuck, as I absolutely could not move anywhere else in SoCal, so my only affordable options (for retirement or general relocation) would be Midwest.

It’s everywhere sadly. One thing I love about San Diego is that yes, the cost is high, but there’s so much to do that I can just mentally shut off if need be

Yes, having the serious self discussion if I can continue to afford the SoCal lifestyle. I’ve been here on/off since the late 80’s. Is it still worth the cost is a question I ask myself constantly.

my feeling is that San Diego is no longer affordable for people on fixed income and it’s more suitable for someone who already reach and assets that generate money, there is no work ever will make comfortable in SD,

Honestly OP, I'm from LA, lived in SF, and spend a fair amount of time in other places in the US for work. SD is expensive as hell, let's not ignore that, but: SF is collapsing economically. Not a political statement, but every 50 years or so, SF does this, reinvents, etc. love the town, but not a good place right now. LA is just fucking massive. Sure food and rent may be cheeper, but the gas to get anywhere eats the savings up. I love Portland and Seattle, but cold and rainy most of the year, and not appreciably cheaper to live there. Phoenix and Las Vegas are always boom or bust. And they're fucking miserably hot. Also if you're politically liberal, why do that to yourself? Detroit is actually a very cool town. But it's pretty limited, and cold winters. Chicago is a great city. Fucking cold in winter. DC...unless you're military or work for Congress, why? NYC: "if you can make it there, you'll make it anywhere." But jeez what a grind. And so on, and so on. Honestly, I'm more burned out about the United States in general. I've been seriously contemplating Europe for a while. But thanks to the shit show in Ukraine, I'm now convinced there will be a land war in Europe in 5 years. So I basically just go back to sucking up the cost of San Diego, because, when yo step back and get perspective...yeah, it's still pretty damned awesome.

Get a Sentri Pass and move to Rosarita, Las Playas, or a new high rise in Tijuana. You'll be amazed on what it's like to be living like a Human Bieng with a Living Wage.

San Diego is the best if you have surplus of money

3rd gen native here.. sadly, it's the American way now..entire county is now unrealistic..there are plenty of places better than here.. good weather is not the key to happiness anymore..

Born and raised in San Diego for 30+ years. Moved out because exactly this. I make well over 100k a year and still feel like i lived pay check to pay check and still am not able to afford a home. Absolutely terrible. 

I’ve lived in a few states and have spent time in many more cities and states. Everyone is burned out everywhere. Electronics has always been touted as giving us much more leisure time. I am 76 now and was burned out many times. So, if you’re gonna be burned out, it may as well be in San Diego. Also, many many many people I know that moved here decades ago, couldn’t adapt. So, after a few years they went back home, north - east - south and west. Nearly every one of them moved back within two or three years. Some told me that home wasn’t home anymore. I heard they felt like Neal Diamond “LA’s fine most of the time, New York’s mine but it ain’t mine no more”. You simply can’t go back. If you do you’ll find it’s not what you remember. For me, when I visit my birth place, the streets seem narrower and dirtier. The homes seem old and older. My favorite restaurants have changed ownership and names a few times over. When u was working I had more than a few employees in my office actually crying. They said they were burned out professionally and personally. I asked them to think how far they have come in the last ten years. Then five years and lastly in one year. They felt like they gave not accomplished anything. But when I asked them to talk about all they DID ACCOMPLISH, they felt better. How much they HAVE accomplished and how many road blocks they negotiated successfully. It helped some of them substantially, others less. But each and every one had a better outlook on the things that really matter. My bigger concern is not about Dan Diego, but the same story from people everywhere. Life is supposed to be getting better. I’ve been around more than seven decades and I’m here to tell you, it ain’t better at all! Until the last decade I never heard people talking about burn out. We are supposed to be working less. Instead we are actually working more. Now you can be reached 24 hours a day, every day and everywhere. Mobile phones are so very wonderful aren’t they? But, unlike 50 years ago when you could leave your home or work and not be gotten until you arrive at where you’re going or stay where you are and unreachable. I have forgotten my phone at home a few times, and I was scared. How would I contact people? How can anybody know where I am?!? Fifty years ago those thoughts never entered our minds. There wasn’t anything you could do about it and so you actually were unburdened for a while. At night or on a weekend your boss couldn’t get in touch with you if you didn’t want him to. The home phone could be answered by someone in your household and infirm the caller you are not home and don’t know exactly when you would be home. No way to contact you. Does anybody remember doctor home visits. Before pagers?!? The doctor would call his office after his visit to tell them he was on his way to next appointment. Could not be reached in transit so his office would need to call there to leave a message for when he arrived. So, burned out in San Diego? Sure, but it ain’t the city, it’s the world.

San Diego is a Closed City. It hasn’t allowed enough home-building for at least 20 years. The city is 90,000 housing units short. Thats the #1 reason it’s so expensive and prohibitive to live here. And people who’ve been here a long time don’t mind. They already got theirs.

I think it takes a really special set of circumstances (in my case generational privilege) to enjoy living here. My parents bought a crappy house here in the 80’s and have built on it and because of that i get to enjoy San Diego and it’s amazing for me. It’s nearly the most expensive place to live in the world. So i think moving someplace else is nearly always the answer. If you aren’t happy why stay?

I’m actually really enjoying myself. I’ve also been here a long time and seen a lot of change but at its core it’s still the city I love and a wonderful place to live. Like all big cities there are lots of issues and the cost of living is high but I think I get a lot in return.

The weather and beaches are what make SD nice, but the City is mis managed and there is no government accountability….the roads, homeless people and their trash, gas prices, rent etc, the city is not well kept, and the taxes are brutal

Dude. Wtf. No. Yeah it's expensive but it's also the shit. Best weather anywhere. Chill. Traffic isn't CRAZY. Lots to do. Different lifestyles from fucken Finance Bro to Beach Bum. BioMedical is huge here. It's an amazing place dude. Guaranteed anywhere you go it's similar problems without any of the benefits.

Born and raised in SD, left a couple years ago. It’s fun to visit but it’s not the same. The SD now is commercialized and almost like a caricature of itself. I honestly can see why people would struggle to live here all the way through maybe 2015. After that?, there’s better places. Seems like the weather isn’t even the same as it used to be. Maybe just rose colored glasses of years past, but SD used to be a lot better. Used to be a more local vibe too. Downtown used to be the cleanest city in America, etc. I remember the night petco park opened. Families, actual families all over downtown every weekend. Ahh, the good ol’ days.

We need better designed communities that are intentional and less work.

Sorry, neighbor. I'll try and keep it down 🤭

Fuck no.

It is every city. I moved down here from LA after 16 years to get away from it…less than two years later, same problems here. “Go back where you came from” doesn’t work, either, bc that place is more expensive than here, is more toxic, and it’s not my home.

Yep I left

I have lived here my whole life (57yrs) and would get the hell out of here in a heartbeat if I could get my wife to agree!!

$3k rent as a single person? That sounds very high. Maybe I'm ignorant and that's the price of a small place downtown, but can't you live farther and drive where you need? I lived near USD last year and it was like $3k for a 2b2b (I had roommates). 

I live in Encinitas, everything I pay for is worth it here

A once prudent approach was to make your $$$ in California, San Diego in our instance, and move later to a less expensive locale. My spouse and I were ruminating about this the other evening and accepted the proposition that San Diego, once left, would never be available to us again as a property owner. We're resigned to stay.

I’m thinking about leaving for a change of scenery, with the option there to always come back. I feel similar. I make six figures but between rent, utilities, pet costs, etc. there is not much leftover. No way I’ll ever afford a home here. I don’t see myself staying here forever.

I’m in NY right now and it’s given me a new appreciation for how chill SD is. I’m so burnt out and I’ve only been here 40 hours lol

The problem is even if you move to somewhere cheaper, you’ll just be dealing with different problems! Maybe rent is cheaper but then you have to deal with six months of cold/wet/snow or heat plus insane humidity with no escape! Maybe you’ll have to deal with a red state that has been red just as long as California has been blue. And people there are just as mindlessly stuck in their habits of voting for the same people there (regardless if they do anything useful) just as much as they are here! In the grand scheme of things nowhere is perfect/better! Everywhere sucks….just for different reasons! And the best you can do is just try and find somewhere that’s remotely bearable, and ride it out!

A little over a decade here myself. I own a home with low APR under 15 years so probably going to stick it out for a bit. Was also considering moving, but I’m originally from the southwest. This place, San Diego, hasn’t yet worn me down, it’s just expensive. Elected folks here need to straighten out this HCOL a bit for sure. I get that you pay for what you get, _San Diego_, but there’s a limit on how much regular folks can afford to keep up. This place ain’t shit if you only have rich 1% folks around.

Try leaving to Detroit from living there your whole life. Then you’ll see. 😂 I’m only 1 yr out and ready to move back. Although it’s a total rip off there now.

You really are just paying for the weather and nothing more

Yes. I moved to Australia.

Lived in OB/PL for seventeen years and was completely over it. Moved to the woods in 2019.

And don’t forget the terrible roads throughout the county. 

I just paid 5$ for a pack of gum, fuck this town.

Yes, my husband and I are finally moving later this year. We love the city but we want to start a family and own a house and that’s just not possible to do comfortably in SD anymore.