yikes, no mall here. and the bar scene is limited. i don’t really want to pick up girls from bars either.
i just found out that my seperated (but still legally married) wife has been doing stuff with someone else. She had the audacity to call the hotel i was working at last night and tell me she realized she likes being bit and having her hair pulled.
honestly im super depressed because i still love her. at this point id be happy with just some conversation and a hug. Like i said though, it’s difficult to even find girls to approach. Hitting up some parks in the afternoon seems plausible. idk
Have a dog pet or something and take it to the park. You'll find plenty of women who are dog owners and then you can find a common interest to start a conversation
Inability to socialize/form relationships with people due to very poor social skills, having insecurities and no real interests. These are of course all things in my control, so this can change. I ultimately just need to want it enough to make that happen, which is easier said than done.
I feel like a lot of people who are self-aware, lack the courage and also self-love required to change, not sure if you agree?
I say self-love, because to try something new often requires failure, and children that were raised without much self-love, tend to be more afraid of failure, because it's almost like it pokes a hole in their self-esteem, so they are constantly trying to protect this wound.
The ideal would be a man that is self-aware, but has the courage to set and move towards his goals, and has the self-love required to not go down a negative spiral when he fails, but learn the lesson and move on.
I think that’s part of my issue too. My social skills aren’t bad enough to stop me from getting laid, but the longer I have a conversation with someone the worse it gets. I don’t even know where to start when it comes to fixing things lol. I have what people would consider a fulfilling life but I feel like I’m meandering through it to the point where I don’t care anymore
I understand brother, it can be difficult to build meaningful connections as an adult. I'm not where i want to be but i've gotten better over the past 6 months.
Focus on relaxing, having fun, and taking legitimate interest in a person. Dont be afraid to show your personality and humor so the person doesnt feel like theyre talking to a brick wall
You probably have close friends, so look at how you talk to them vs strangers and see the difference
Same here man. It’s crazy because nobody seems to be touching on this point. Alot of them lie saying they have a bf when they’re actually single and some just just no thank you. Alot of them ask for money. They seem to be too picky these days *smh*
Probably not looks, though being average height and brown nowadays definitely excludes me from dating apps, even though Im pretty muscular.
Simple, I don't meet many women, like ever. I also don't make small talk with people I don't know, male or female, introversion moment
I lack community, a place where I can consistently meet many women AND spend time with them on a regular basis, forming bonds that may blossom into something more over time. (Im in college and people legit jsut go to class and leave, its weird, like everyone is alone but together, unless you're one of the lucky ones in a clique or something)
Im gonna loose my v ccard to a prostitute this summer then when i go to my second year of college I plan to be heavily involved in at least 3 orgs that I'd enjoy, if it happens, it happens, if not, idc anymore
idk I wont get any better with women you're right, but im too old i just gotta know what sex is like and get over my first time jitters, do it a few times. Also Im not to scared to talk to random women i quite literally just have nothing to say if I dont know you and I dislike bland smalltalk.
I meet people best over shared hobbies/intrests over time, I have no plans to start cold approaching
You're going to get the jitters anyway. You will most likely get nervous anytime you're with a new partner. But also, unfortunately you have to get through the small talk phase with any sort of person you meet, but you can also go straight to being more personal with people. I myself often skip small talk and ask bolder questions, and you'd be surprised how receptive people are to it.
Lost my v-card to an escort 11 years ago. Honestly, I think it's the best way for most guys these days. You're dealing with a pro so she knows what to do and most importantly, no strings attached.
Just remember to wrap it up and don't overpay.
Idk about losing virginity part. I guess if you are 30+ and are still a virgin then do it. When my wife left me and I was still a fat slob, I turned to escorts and they helped me get back on my feet tremendously mindset wise. I was doing other things like working out and therapy tho ofc escorts alone ain’t gonna fix you but they can be good kick starts to get over mental hang ups.
It was a wonderful comment about having a good mindset, thanks, even tho im not indian.
But my looks are the least of my concern, I was just talking only about dating apps.
My main issue is that I am deeply, deeply introverted. I generally dislike surface level smalltalk with strangers and I find the prospect of flirting with a girl I dont even know incredibly cringe. Im not the kind of guy to walk into a room a schmooze with everyone there, and not because I tell myself I cant but because I genuinely dislike to do so.
The one girlfriend I did ever have, during highschool, was met over time through friends, we called eachother frequently and spent time together with said friends for a month before we got flirty.
Ive accepted thats how its best for me to meet girls, people in general really. Im not one to cold approach, i like having deeper/chiller convos with people close to me, im not the nightlife party type. Bit of a closed mindset sure, but Ive had a lot of time to find myself and Im pretty certain this is jsut who I am and Im at peace with that, Im done trying to be someone im not in the name of "being better".
Like I said In my first comment I lack community, I must find it.
I recommend you try and get out there anyway. Don’t wait around for community to come to you, make it. You’re in college, there’s no easier time to meet people your age. Talk to people sitting next to you in class, talk about something class related. You’re gonna have to get over your general dislikes towards small talk and the like, because you sound quite unhappy that your current actions (introversion) are limiting your social life
Bro take it from a fellow introvert….it’s not that you dislike social interactions, it’s that you are self-centered. You are not interested in other people’s lives so you don’t want to get to know them, because you think all you need in life is yourself. Yet ofc this is not true because humans are innately social creatures. So you need to get over your mental hangups. Start with the mindset of compassion for others. Your mission in life is to bring joy to the world and help others. So now with that mindset, believe that interacting with others brings them joy and your role is to add a little spark to their day by them interacting with you. Make it about them not you. That will evolve into a general interest in other people and it will become natural. That is how I in part solved my introvertism disease.
You're right, I'm not curious about other people's lives, im usually in my own little bubble dont ask questions, not sure how to become interested in other people. I have pretty niche interests. I guess you could say I'm more "thing" oriented than people-oriented.
My best bet is probably clubs related to things I enjoy
I know what that is like and it take continually effort. Sometimes I have to remind myself to ask them questions and not talk about myself. When we are in our introvert bubble, convos tend to run out of steam because we are trying to relate to the other persons story by telling a similar story about ourselves and if we don’t have one the convo fizzles. But that is why you ask them questions to spurn new topics of discussion.
Tell the escort it's your first time. Have them act like it's a real interaction. Then go to see 4 more escorts after that. Don't tell the next ones you're a virgin. Escorts are people, and there are a lot of things you can learn about sex by paying for it. Seduction, perhaps not as much, but still something if you're being conscious about it...sex, absolutely. Lots you can learn about sex from fucking prostitutes. One big thing I learned is that when you have a condom on you can't really tell when you're hitting the cervix, so you have to imagine where you are in there, how deep in the cavern you are.
1. Overweight (I need to lose at least 50 pounds to be average)
2. Poor Social Skills (I suck at holding conversations with people)
3. Lack of Interests (I live a boring life and have basic/ boring interests)
1, Overweight - until you work to lose some weight, compensate with your charisma and attitudem be funny, witty.
2. Poor Social Skills - Take baby steps. Ask a question and leave (where is ZYX, thank you - leave), then say two sentences (where is XYZ? It is far from here? Thank you - leave), then say three sentences....try to stay in the conversation for 30 seconds, a minute... and so on.... It takes time, maybe even 1-2 weeks, but guess what? Not only will you improve your conversation skills, but you will also improve your confidence to approach women.
3. Lack of interest - This is because you know you are bad at conversation and in this case you are adapting to the state you are living in now. If you don't talk to people, of course you have a boring life, you aren't a lone wolf in the wild, you are a social person, you have to talk to other people. Your mind is clever, it makes you think you are fine as you are right now. It is a trick, a vicious circle from which you should escape. Start with a question and build from there. If it is hard, go to a bartender and talk to them, they are paid to talk to people so it will be easy to talk to them - I did this to "warm up" - [VIDEO](https://youtu.be/wJ2u6854kBE), then I talked with people outside the bar - [VIDEO](https://youtu.be/tScrHM_avkw) and so on until talking to girls on the street - [VIDEO](https://youtu.be/9I823xNC4Ew) or this one - [VIDEO](https://youtu.be/qGklZ3H5liU) (they don't speak english they are from Ukraine).
Don't postpone is perfect to start today itself, it's June, it's Sunday, it's hot outside, it's perfect to have a drink in your hand and ask where you can buy another drink in this area, or a beer or a cold water (whatever). Recently I asked a girl if she knew where I could recycle the can because I'm civilized. It doesn't have to be something smart, clever, funny, but say something, open your mouth and talk to strangers.. So go out and let us know how it was your first interaction.
A Chinese spy cam that I put in a wrist bag that I keep under my arm. In other cases I put it on my chemise because it looks like a chemise button. For better quality, I used After Effects to remove the shaking, give contrast, amplify the sound and so on...
I quickly realized that I haven’t found the ideal girl yet. Even though the girls I have met have been amazing and have taught me a lot about relationships, I don’t think I would ever settle down with them simply because they would not have the same lifestyle as me. There are certain values that I found attractive and I think I need to find someone who share those values. Maybe having abundance plays a role in bringing this side of me.
That and also I am my worst enemy. In all honestly none of my shit is sorted out for long term vibes. I want to build a stable relationship and I am far from being my ideal self to do that.
A buddy of mine shared a quote that really resonated with me “Girls look for the ideal guy. Guys look for the ideal time”. You can meet the perfect girl today or tomorrow. But if your not ready for it, then your gonna skip until you feel ready. Because you know that there will always be another.
I myself have crippling approach anxiety and always expect the worst when it comes to approaching a girl whether it’s in person or on social media. It transcends beyond girls of whom are strangers towards girls of whom I have good relations with that I’ve known for years and went to high school with. For some reason I struggle so much to put myself out there cause I’ve been shamed in the past for trying and being awkward. Hence there’s this strong inner critic that’s an inhibiting force.
You have to keep trying brother. Keep doing approaches until it clicks. This is like a thing where if your attempts are too weak, you get shut down (rejection). Then after rejection you may decide to keep doing weak attempts. The answer is in going in strong. Then go in stronger after each rejection. Start to even question rejections and ask if you wanted the girl to reject you. Going in stronger after ‘rejections’ is the only solution imo, otherwise you become more and more fearful after each attempt.
Money and most importantly, time.
I’ll actually find someone who doesn’t care about my current financial situation, and stick around until they see that I also don’t have time for them. [+]
Every girl just flakes on me.
They seem excited (eye contact, smile, etc) to see me in real life. Some will give me their number or add me on social media. I thought these were signs of interest? They will be very responsive online, that is until I express interest and ask them out.
They flat out stop responding or come up with whatever excuse. I guess they just want attention?🤷♂️
Same bro I get lots of positive signs in real life, have them laughing go with some physical contact even kiss at points then their friends pull them away I get the number and they ghost
At least you get to the kissing part. I am struggling to get them out anywhere one on one where that could that even happen. The last girls “excuse” (whether true or not) was that she had some health issues. We follow each other on IG and could clearly see she was still going out having fun with her friends and seemed fine to me.
At this point it feels like I’ve tried everything short of bribing them. I’m tired of putting in all the effort. What do we have to do to get them out on dates?
Very real, this one girl recently even dm’d me out of the blue so we hit it off and I have invited her to hang out three times and planned the whole thing and she keeps giving excuses.
A few different reasons. I don't get out much and I'm religious. I try to balance being religious and doing what I want but it's hard. I do want meet girls and fuck. I live with my folks though. It's hard going out to bars and expensive. I have little money to spend on myself. At work there's a lot of girls but it feels hard to approach at work. I work as a maintenance man in a warehouse. A lot of cute package handlers. I've talked to a few and gotten some numbers. But it never went far. I actually hit up two single moms and got their numbers. The first one she stopped working my shift and we talked about getting into a relationship. But she struggles with two jobs and three kids plus right before we stopped talking she lost a family member and basically said she didnt have time for a relationship and I respect it. We went on one date and I made out with her at the end of it. The second one I still talk to and we're friends but it's weird. I kissed her a lot on the first date and she was into it. And I mean a lot. But soon she said let's be friends and I still flirt with her and she's into it. But anytime I try to get physical she playfully says no. I try to be persistent but not too much but she doesn't budge. I have legit slept next to her in bed in the early morning twice. I tried joining her in the shower and she playfully said no and wouldn't budge. Work is really the only place to meet girls. That's where I met both chicks. But it just feels awkward trying to approach girls especially now since it's super hot and everyone is working really hard. It feels hard to find an opener. I plan on going back to the gym but flirting at the gym just feels wrong
Women usually ghost me even though I feel like I’ve done nothing wrong especially those pretty young seemingly stuck up women. Alot of them ask for money as well which I don’t get because I see alot of guys get women but I seemingly can’t. I guess I need a wingman to see what is wrong
Honestly for me it’s just my inability to find a good partner. I’ve been on a bunch of dates this year but hardly any have resulted in second dates. And that’s either because I’m not interested in them, or they’re not interested in me. And that’s okay. People just don’t click sometimes. I’m just not in a rush to get into a bad situation. I’m waiting for someone that will positively add to my life. Not to be someone’s whole world, or for somebody to become mine
I don’t get to meet many women in person and if I do I wait to long to approach. I’m not as shy anymore as I once was, but also still not the total extrovert.
Dating apps make one even more desperate as there are no matches, a lot of ghosting and unmatching and rejections
Girls ghosting me, also blocking me when I'm being completely honest that I feel we'd be a great couple (guess she's not accepting of someone liking her), using me for a free meal and some touching. It's not me, I'm trying. I'm talking to one who has a daughter in the city I'm moving to (to be closer to work), however there's on that'll now be 2 hours away from me. So have no idea what I'm doing lol
Divorced my wife back in 2020 after finding out her affairs! Took half of my assets and my son. Went into whore phase for about 3 years. Met and incredible woman that I thought I wanna do life together, but turned out she’s crazy, too! Now, I’m just prefer to be alone. Will be 40 by October this year. There’s not enough juice to squeeze in this new dating world. The dating market is in hyperinflation
Probably just my morbid obesity, otherwise I think I'm all good. I got confidence, I got charisma, I improved my social skills a lot, the only thing that probably holds me back is that.
Honestly me. I don’t really know how to approach a woman out in the blue. Like what do I talk about? I’m a software engineer that WFH. I go to the gym because I’m overweight and I can’t drink alcohol, also all my coworkers are remote in different states 😂 what do I do?
My introversion, social life, standards.
I could probably have a few gfs if I chose to lower my standards.
And I could probably “get” what I (think that I ) deserve by being more outgoing and taking more chances.
But alas, that’s not who I am.
Don’t meet people very often, the times I do and gather enough courage to ask them out I get rejected. I can’t even get a date on a dating app. The worst part is I’m a decent looking guy and have a lot of productive hobbies, so idk what to do to fix it
Having the repulsive likeness of a disfigured and deformed toad, possessing zero social skills, lacking anything remotely resembling a personality, and being completely useless in anything related to relationships and intimacy.
My expectations are higher than what I have to offer in return. My only expectations are be kinda cute, don’t cheat on me and don’t get the ick when I get a little depressed around Christmas time. Apparently being loyal, loving, mildly attractive, employed with a nice car and own my house is not enough to justify my expectations.
I got really comfortable being alone.
A few years ago I got off social media, & not a fan of dating apps. I own a coffee shop & day trade for work. I do lots of concerts & camping trips, cook, box, so I have plenty of hobbies and friends to do them with.
There's a tolerance of bs that's really low at this point. Im not interested in dating anyone who I'm not comfortable raising kids with.
The long term thinking rules out so many people instantaneously. Chronically online, no hobbies, always sucking on a vape or weed/nic pen, politicizing everything- they're just character flaws that I don't want in a partner.
I'm sure there are some great women out there, I'm jusy not going out of my way to figure out where they are at this point.
I actually self sabotage a lot. I just have it in me that I am unattractive so I ruin any chance I have and I certainly don't put in any effort. Reje tion is just something far too painful and I don't want to experience it ever again.
There's no pussy at my job.
There's little to no pussy at my apartment complex. And if there is, they dont step out of their apartment much except to go to work or run errands.
I’m great at the first impression but either I or they often lose interest after 2/3 dates. I can fake it if I just wanna get laid but that gets old. I seem to attract clingy types.
The vast majority of them is used up by a bunch of guys and then you have a lot of them that are feminists and others that are very entitled.
We’ve created the perfect storm for them to behave this way. No wonder the birth rates are collapsing everywhere in the western world
Honestly besides sex they bring nothing to the table. Most are entertaining multiple guys even when they get into a relationship they keep the back ups around. Already looked stupid once not doing it again. Recreational use only now
It's your mindset and blockages of approaching girls. I personally feels that whenever I see a girl I think what if she slaps me ? What is everyone watches me ? What if she yell and scream at me ? What if ?
Approach it your mind that gives you hesitation.
Shy with social anxiety and confidence issues, people are overly religious where I’m from, and almost every person I meet seems to have an entitlement problem.
Don’t want that shit lmao. Am I the only one? I’m only 23 and people before me proved they shouldn’t commit to each other before they can even commit to themselves lmao
I am skinny-fat and not in shape. I am also on Lexapro so losing any of the weight feels impossible. I hold myself to extremely high standards I can’t meet and don’t think I am a worthwhile option.
I'm just not enough, there's always someone better at something than I am so why choose me?
Also I'm not very charming. Despite my best effort I've never apart from one time got a 2nd date.
For there to be winners there have to be losers, I guess I know my place.
Insecurities. Recently I fell and chipped my two front teeth it's so terrible. I'm kinda afraid of the dentist so it's making it hard for me to go get the treatment I need done. Some days I'm ready to go and others I'm feeled with anxiety I know I need to face my fears and go see a dentist asap cause this is holding me back from alot . I stopped going out I feel insecure and it's constantly on my mind. I know once I accomplish making it to the dentist and start getting my dental care I need I'll feel 1.000 times better physically and mentally. Than I will be ready to date with confidence.
I'm scared to talk to girls I get nervous. I know everyone one does. But I'm willing to work through that. It's just hard with such little time. And feeling ugly. I'm overweight and feel like if I lose atleast 30 pounds( I need to actually lose 60 to get to a reasonable weight) I would feel more confident. Or if I had a friend there with me to help out. Idc about look maxing or anything I believe the right words mixed with confidence, will get me to where I want to go. It will always be about numbers and if some people have advantages over me thsts fine, its not like I haven't been at the bottom before eventually i have yo get to the top
I have this issue where I'm really good at socializing with random strangers at work. I just wish I could translate that to my personal life. I'd be the fucking man if I could do that.
1. I am autistic as shit. I do not know how to socialize.
2. I have a terrible stutter.
3. I have multiple medical conditions.
4. There are no opportunities to date in my area.
5. Dating apps ruined dating.
6. The government, corporations, and how they ruined the economy also ruined dating.
7. I am also at the point in life where if you have experience it is considered a red flag and females will not want to date you.
Honestly, just meeting people. You're not going to meet anyone if you don't leave the house and when you leave the house, the number of activities where you can meet your particular type are likely limited.
It's a variety of things: I doubt anyone wants a short guy like myself, I don't have much to offer a woman at the moment (no money to waste), I haven't met anyone worth sacrificing my long term peace and happiness for, I'm not really putting myself in situations that would involve me meeting new people regularly because I'm usually too busy taking care of other important things. My lifestyle is basically just a perfect recipe to not have a girlfriend overall lol.
Me, myself, and I. I'm focused on myself and professional advancement right now - Master's Degree, certs, etc. I had absolutely no luck on dating apps, and I don't approach women. The main place I meet new women is at the gym. Besides that I'm at work or at home. Frankly, I'm at peace after getting out of an 8 year relationship with someone with BPD 7 months ago now. I don't feel like inviting chaos into my life, I don't want to get hurt again, and I'm presently content. I've tried dating apps in the past with no success like most men. I use that time and energy for more fruitful efforts. I'm pretty damn successful and continuing to achieve my goals. I don't feel I have to prove myself to anyone nor grovel. So, multiple reasons.
I go to work, I come back from work and see dog ahit and piss everywhere.
Brother is too lazy to clean up or do dishes or pick up cigarettes he litters outaide.
I have two baby siblings heavily dependent on me.
A womanchild mother and a stepdad that walked out after mom cheated and goes out to party every night leaving us alone.
Stepdad takes kids when he can, and they love him for it but I am left to clean the shit and to take care of the house or baby sit because my brother(25) yells st the kids constantly
I don't want one. I want to give a better quality of life to the person im seeing and I dont believe I can do that right now because I have other priorities and limited energy.
Not a single clue on how to begin. Covered in vitiligo (my resting bitch face certainly doesn’t help) so I’m used to people too scared to look at me. Even then, still no idea how to start. Can’t pop up a random question (I think) and it feels strange to suddenly greet someone. Even if the greeting is a normal thing that I’m just too afraid to do, don’t know how to continue.
Only child pretty much a lone wolf 🐺 every social connection is broken at this point since I’m past college have little too no family and work like crazy. I also have no interest in bars or clubs never did and church feels like being out of place. Most women I would be interested in are taken or have children at this point idc it reaffirms my selfish tendencies.
I don’t know honestly. Maybe I rush things and aren’t as direct when I need to be. I have my standards also so girls that aren’t at my level are not who I go with.
Rejection. Blanket comment, I know. But it's the only answer. I'm 0 for 8 (soon to be 11) this year so far. I managed to get a date with an old coworker of mine with the help of an acquaintance of mine, but she took it as a 'friends having an outing'.
Frustration and depression are an understatement when considered I'm handsome, have a good amount of money + savings (I live at home), dress nicely, workout a lot, smell good, and have a great personality. You know, all the qualities every YouTuber and Twitter comment tells you to have? All of which make older and married women attracted to me, and have gotten me countless compliments and long conversations when at bars. And yet, you couldn't pay another 20-something year old to look at me at those same bars. I may as well be talking to a rock. This also leaves everyone surprised when they learn I'm single and don't have a body count.
I've even tried changing my personality so I could start having ONS with women from my job (I work at an Amazon warehouse where almost all women are EXTREMELY loose), only to fall flat on my face because I either rush and say things that give them the creeps, or my real personality shows and I get rejected for being "too nice."
I'm thinking about quitting altogether tbh.
I want to lose some weight and get healthier, which is going to take a while because I drink too much, which I'm also working on. Outside of these things, I think I'm not a bad catch. Steady job, car, house, no debt (although not enough savings lol), sense of humor. I just got to do some self work to get my confidence up
It’s a complete fucking waste of time chasing skirt these days. I’d rather spend time doing things I actually enjoy than sucking up to the annoying fickle sex.
The fact that I don't have my finances in order or a stable career (I'm a freelance musician but I'm working on getting a full time job to set myself up better).
1. Black
2. Insane body but below avg face
3. Financially well off and educated (can’t advertise any of this shit)
4. I can make girls laugh and chat them up no problem, the pull / flirty part I am complete shit at.
I keep seeing poc mentioning race. Curious, are y'all only going after white girls? Is it a 'disadvantage' if you're trying to get a woman of your race?
It's a REAL weird and obvious-to-answer question, but I'll give you mine:
1. Not having the desired physics: I'm 5'7 and almost ALL girls get turned off when the first digit is not 6. I DO go to gym regularly and have a bit of muscle under the hood.
2. Not being the top 1% of all men financially :)) yeah funny but who's gonna date with a guy who isn't gonna take her to cozy restaurants and always grab a coffee to go? And subsequently:
3. Dressing normal (not top fashion), having hygiene, wearing not so luxury parfums.
4. Not owing a car or a house ( I do have a renting house in a shared flat)
So yeah. Whose gonna date this kinda guy?
Post last relationship, I just wanna focus on work and getting shit done. Girls are a huge distraction rn. Never had a problem with pickup, or girls overall. But imagine if all you guys took all this energy and put it into making yourself wealthier, happier and healthier! Musk wouldn’t be the wealthiest person anymore 😂😅 But seriously.
I’ve only been single 6 months in total since October of 2019. I’ve had multiple relationships, and after my last relationship ended 2 months ago, I realised I’m not ready for a relationship.
I kept getting into relationships because I thought I was a loser if I didn’t have one. I wanted intimacy and love, but I’ve realised that I need to learn to love myself before I can commit to someone.
I realised that I’m far too behind in life to have a proper relationship. It will take me 3 or 4 years to be where I want to be before I can seriously consider getting into a proper relationship. I just want a life partner, someone to cuddle every night and who I can shower with love.
I’m holding myself back, because I don’t want to be selfish or hold anyone else back.
At the moment, having a hard time finding a woman. I was dating a 10, then she dumped me and I am stuck wondering what to do.
Guys, never commit or settle when you get a girlfriend, try and keep looking for a backup.
I'm a 7 on my best day and have high functioning autism.
The idea that only hot guys can be good at seduction not only is projecting men's desires onto women (they really don't care about looks nearly as much as the black pilled clowns on here claim), but it also is an excuse that men use to not put in the work to be good at seduction, and I will never entertain it.
i don’t know where to meet people in my town and dating apps are a nightmare
I'll save you the time its not worth dating apps anyway go to the club if not the mall or forever 21 places like that
yikes, no mall here. and the bar scene is limited. i don’t really want to pick up girls from bars either. i just found out that my seperated (but still legally married) wife has been doing stuff with someone else. She had the audacity to call the hotel i was working at last night and tell me she realized she likes being bit and having her hair pulled. honestly im super depressed because i still love her. at this point id be happy with just some conversation and a hug. Like i said though, it’s difficult to even find girls to approach. Hitting up some parks in the afternoon seems plausible. idk
jesus christ call a lawyer man
Wow what a fucking bitch. Yuck.
Women like that are nasty and they need to be left to the curb
Have a dog pet or something and take it to the park. You'll find plenty of women who are dog owners and then you can find a common interest to start a conversation
bro wtf
Same here mate
Inability to socialize/form relationships with people due to very poor social skills, having insecurities and no real interests. These are of course all things in my control, so this can change. I ultimately just need to want it enough to make that happen, which is easier said than done.
being self aware is miserable
Therapists keep telling me that I’m incredibly self aware. To which I generally reply “thank you, I know, it’s ruining my life” 😂
I feel like a lot of people who are self-aware, lack the courage and also self-love required to change, not sure if you agree? I say self-love, because to try something new often requires failure, and children that were raised without much self-love, tend to be more afraid of failure, because it's almost like it pokes a hole in their self-esteem, so they are constantly trying to protect this wound. The ideal would be a man that is self-aware, but has the courage to set and move towards his goals, and has the self-love required to not go down a negative spiral when he fails, but learn the lesson and move on.
Being self-aware also often indicated that you are smart. At least you have that going for you. Use it in your advantage!
"Better than the dull pain of a life of ignorance", to paraphrase the famous quote
Fuck bro, at least youre self aware. I promise its worth it, willpower is a decision
I think that’s part of my issue too. My social skills aren’t bad enough to stop me from getting laid, but the longer I have a conversation with someone the worse it gets. I don’t even know where to start when it comes to fixing things lol. I have what people would consider a fulfilling life but I feel like I’m meandering through it to the point where I don’t care anymore
I understand brother, it can be difficult to build meaningful connections as an adult. I'm not where i want to be but i've gotten better over the past 6 months. Focus on relaxing, having fun, and taking legitimate interest in a person. Dont be afraid to show your personality and humor so the person doesnt feel like theyre talking to a brick wall You probably have close friends, so look at how you talk to them vs strangers and see the difference
Nothing, just rejections
Same here man. It’s crazy because nobody seems to be touching on this point. Alot of them lie saying they have a bf when they’re actually single and some just just no thank you. Alot of them ask for money. They seem to be too picky these days *smh*
May be we should go got much older women in 40-50s
Cuz they have too many options to choose from, especially online so they don’t care about some random off the street
My spouse
Lol
Myself basically. I'm my own worst enemy in certain cases.
This, we love to blame everything but us, but in this case it is me
Probably not looks, though being average height and brown nowadays definitely excludes me from dating apps, even though Im pretty muscular. Simple, I don't meet many women, like ever. I also don't make small talk with people I don't know, male or female, introversion moment I lack community, a place where I can consistently meet many women AND spend time with them on a regular basis, forming bonds that may blossom into something more over time. (Im in college and people legit jsut go to class and leave, its weird, like everyone is alone but together, unless you're one of the lucky ones in a clique or something) Im gonna loose my v ccard to a prostitute this summer then when i go to my second year of college I plan to be heavily involved in at least 3 orgs that I'd enjoy, if it happens, it happens, if not, idc anymore
I lost it to an escort. Didn’t change shit. You will gain nothing. You still have to actually talk to women and not be a coward
idk I wont get any better with women you're right, but im too old i just gotta know what sex is like and get over my first time jitters, do it a few times. Also Im not to scared to talk to random women i quite literally just have nothing to say if I dont know you and I dislike bland smalltalk. I meet people best over shared hobbies/intrests over time, I have no plans to start cold approaching
You're going to get the jitters anyway. You will most likely get nervous anytime you're with a new partner. But also, unfortunately you have to get through the small talk phase with any sort of person you meet, but you can also go straight to being more personal with people. I myself often skip small talk and ask bolder questions, and you'd be surprised how receptive people are to it.
Lost my v-card to an escort 11 years ago. Honestly, I think it's the best way for most guys these days. You're dealing with a pro so she knows what to do and most importantly, no strings attached. Just remember to wrap it up and don't overpay.
Idk about losing virginity part. I guess if you are 30+ and are still a virgin then do it. When my wife left me and I was still a fat slob, I turned to escorts and they helped me get back on my feet tremendously mindset wise. I was doing other things like working out and therapy tho ofc escorts alone ain’t gonna fix you but they can be good kick starts to get over mental hang ups.
Dude don’t loose your v card to a prostitute. Read my other comment reply in this post. Average height and being Indian do not play a role
It was a wonderful comment about having a good mindset, thanks, even tho im not indian. But my looks are the least of my concern, I was just talking only about dating apps. My main issue is that I am deeply, deeply introverted. I generally dislike surface level smalltalk with strangers and I find the prospect of flirting with a girl I dont even know incredibly cringe. Im not the kind of guy to walk into a room a schmooze with everyone there, and not because I tell myself I cant but because I genuinely dislike to do so. The one girlfriend I did ever have, during highschool, was met over time through friends, we called eachother frequently and spent time together with said friends for a month before we got flirty. Ive accepted thats how its best for me to meet girls, people in general really. Im not one to cold approach, i like having deeper/chiller convos with people close to me, im not the nightlife party type. Bit of a closed mindset sure, but Ive had a lot of time to find myself and Im pretty certain this is jsut who I am and Im at peace with that, Im done trying to be someone im not in the name of "being better". Like I said In my first comment I lack community, I must find it.
I recommend you try and get out there anyway. Don’t wait around for community to come to you, make it. You’re in college, there’s no easier time to meet people your age. Talk to people sitting next to you in class, talk about something class related. You’re gonna have to get over your general dislikes towards small talk and the like, because you sound quite unhappy that your current actions (introversion) are limiting your social life
Bro take it from a fellow introvert….it’s not that you dislike social interactions, it’s that you are self-centered. You are not interested in other people’s lives so you don’t want to get to know them, because you think all you need in life is yourself. Yet ofc this is not true because humans are innately social creatures. So you need to get over your mental hangups. Start with the mindset of compassion for others. Your mission in life is to bring joy to the world and help others. So now with that mindset, believe that interacting with others brings them joy and your role is to add a little spark to their day by them interacting with you. Make it about them not you. That will evolve into a general interest in other people and it will become natural. That is how I in part solved my introvertism disease.
You're right, I'm not curious about other people's lives, im usually in my own little bubble dont ask questions, not sure how to become interested in other people. I have pretty niche interests. I guess you could say I'm more "thing" oriented than people-oriented. My best bet is probably clubs related to things I enjoy
I know what that is like and it take continually effort. Sometimes I have to remind myself to ask them questions and not talk about myself. When we are in our introvert bubble, convos tend to run out of steam because we are trying to relate to the other persons story by telling a similar story about ourselves and if we don’t have one the convo fizzles. But that is why you ask them questions to spurn new topics of discussion.
Tell the escort it's your first time. Have them act like it's a real interaction. Then go to see 4 more escorts after that. Don't tell the next ones you're a virgin. Escorts are people, and there are a lot of things you can learn about sex by paying for it. Seduction, perhaps not as much, but still something if you're being conscious about it...sex, absolutely. Lots you can learn about sex from fucking prostitutes. One big thing I learned is that when you have a condom on you can't really tell when you're hitting the cervix, so you have to imagine where you are in there, how deep in the cavern you are.
1. Overweight (I need to lose at least 50 pounds to be average) 2. Poor Social Skills (I suck at holding conversations with people) 3. Lack of Interests (I live a boring life and have basic/ boring interests)
1, Overweight - until you work to lose some weight, compensate with your charisma and attitudem be funny, witty. 2. Poor Social Skills - Take baby steps. Ask a question and leave (where is ZYX, thank you - leave), then say two sentences (where is XYZ? It is far from here? Thank you - leave), then say three sentences....try to stay in the conversation for 30 seconds, a minute... and so on.... It takes time, maybe even 1-2 weeks, but guess what? Not only will you improve your conversation skills, but you will also improve your confidence to approach women. 3. Lack of interest - This is because you know you are bad at conversation and in this case you are adapting to the state you are living in now. If you don't talk to people, of course you have a boring life, you aren't a lone wolf in the wild, you are a social person, you have to talk to other people. Your mind is clever, it makes you think you are fine as you are right now. It is a trick, a vicious circle from which you should escape. Start with a question and build from there. If it is hard, go to a bartender and talk to them, they are paid to talk to people so it will be easy to talk to them - I did this to "warm up" - [VIDEO](https://youtu.be/wJ2u6854kBE), then I talked with people outside the bar - [VIDEO](https://youtu.be/tScrHM_avkw) and so on until talking to girls on the street - [VIDEO](https://youtu.be/9I823xNC4Ew) or this one - [VIDEO](https://youtu.be/qGklZ3H5liU) (they don't speak english they are from Ukraine). Don't postpone is perfect to start today itself, it's June, it's Sunday, it's hot outside, it's perfect to have a drink in your hand and ask where you can buy another drink in this area, or a beer or a cold water (whatever). Recently I asked a girl if she knew where I could recycle the can because I'm civilized. It doesn't have to be something smart, clever, funny, but say something, open your mouth and talk to strangers.. So go out and let us know how it was your first interaction.
My friend, how did you record and got away with it? lol
A Chinese spy cam that I put in a wrist bag that I keep under my arm. In other cases I put it on my chemise because it looks like a chemise button. For better quality, I used After Effects to remove the shaking, give contrast, amplify the sound and so on...
Pmo
Same 😭
That's a new one for me, what's PMO?
porn/masturbation/orgasm
Dense as fuck and broke
I quickly realized that I haven’t found the ideal girl yet. Even though the girls I have met have been amazing and have taught me a lot about relationships, I don’t think I would ever settle down with them simply because they would not have the same lifestyle as me. There are certain values that I found attractive and I think I need to find someone who share those values. Maybe having abundance plays a role in bringing this side of me. That and also I am my worst enemy. In all honestly none of my shit is sorted out for long term vibes. I want to build a stable relationship and I am far from being my ideal self to do that. A buddy of mine shared a quote that really resonated with me “Girls look for the ideal guy. Guys look for the ideal time”. You can meet the perfect girl today or tomorrow. But if your not ready for it, then your gonna skip until you feel ready. Because you know that there will always be another.
I myself have crippling approach anxiety and always expect the worst when it comes to approaching a girl whether it’s in person or on social media. It transcends beyond girls of whom are strangers towards girls of whom I have good relations with that I’ve known for years and went to high school with. For some reason I struggle so much to put myself out there cause I’ve been shamed in the past for trying and being awkward. Hence there’s this strong inner critic that’s an inhibiting force.
You have to keep trying brother. Keep doing approaches until it clicks. This is like a thing where if your attempts are too weak, you get shut down (rejection). Then after rejection you may decide to keep doing weak attempts. The answer is in going in strong. Then go in stronger after each rejection. Start to even question rejections and ask if you wanted the girl to reject you. Going in stronger after ‘rejections’ is the only solution imo, otherwise you become more and more fearful after each attempt.
Money and most importantly, time. I’ll actually find someone who doesn’t care about my current financial situation, and stick around until they see that I also don’t have time for them. [+]
Every girl just flakes on me. They seem excited (eye contact, smile, etc) to see me in real life. Some will give me their number or add me on social media. I thought these were signs of interest? They will be very responsive online, that is until I express interest and ask them out. They flat out stop responding or come up with whatever excuse. I guess they just want attention?🤷♂️
Same bro I get lots of positive signs in real life, have them laughing go with some physical contact even kiss at points then their friends pull them away I get the number and they ghost
Lol me too. Wtf is this , I'm thinking it's the location at this point
At least you get to the kissing part. I am struggling to get them out anywhere one on one where that could that even happen. The last girls “excuse” (whether true or not) was that she had some health issues. We follow each other on IG and could clearly see she was still going out having fun with her friends and seemed fine to me. At this point it feels like I’ve tried everything short of bribing them. I’m tired of putting in all the effort. What do we have to do to get them out on dates?
Very real, this one girl recently even dm’d me out of the blue so we hit it off and I have invited her to hang out three times and planned the whole thing and she keeps giving excuses.
Being ugly
A few different reasons. I don't get out much and I'm religious. I try to balance being religious and doing what I want but it's hard. I do want meet girls and fuck. I live with my folks though. It's hard going out to bars and expensive. I have little money to spend on myself. At work there's a lot of girls but it feels hard to approach at work. I work as a maintenance man in a warehouse. A lot of cute package handlers. I've talked to a few and gotten some numbers. But it never went far. I actually hit up two single moms and got their numbers. The first one she stopped working my shift and we talked about getting into a relationship. But she struggles with two jobs and three kids plus right before we stopped talking she lost a family member and basically said she didnt have time for a relationship and I respect it. We went on one date and I made out with her at the end of it. The second one I still talk to and we're friends but it's weird. I kissed her a lot on the first date and she was into it. And I mean a lot. But soon she said let's be friends and I still flirt with her and she's into it. But anytime I try to get physical she playfully says no. I try to be persistent but not too much but she doesn't budge. I have legit slept next to her in bed in the early morning twice. I tried joining her in the shower and she playfully said no and wouldn't budge. Work is really the only place to meet girls. That's where I met both chicks. But it just feels awkward trying to approach girls especially now since it's super hot and everyone is working really hard. It feels hard to find an opener. I plan on going back to the gym but flirting at the gym just feels wrong
How tall are you? How deep is your voice? Would you say you have a super attractive face? Are you an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert (in between)?
Women usually ghost me even though I feel like I’ve done nothing wrong especially those pretty young seemingly stuck up women. Alot of them ask for money as well which I don’t get because I see alot of guys get women but I seemingly can’t. I guess I need a wingman to see what is wrong
Honestly for me it’s just my inability to find a good partner. I’ve been on a bunch of dates this year but hardly any have resulted in second dates. And that’s either because I’m not interested in them, or they’re not interested in me. And that’s okay. People just don’t click sometimes. I’m just not in a rush to get into a bad situation. I’m waiting for someone that will positively add to my life. Not to be someone’s whole world, or for somebody to become mine
Low self-esteem, low quality women, some play mind games etc....
No clue where to find people.
I don’t get to meet many women in person and if I do I wait to long to approach. I’m not as shy anymore as I once was, but also still not the total extrovert. Dating apps make one even more desperate as there are no matches, a lot of ghosting and unmatching and rejections
1) Finding single women 2) Finding interested single women 3) Finding interested single women I like particularly Only made it to step 1 so far
Not doing approaches or going to events to meet women.
Social anxiety
Girls ghosting me, also blocking me when I'm being completely honest that I feel we'd be a great couple (guess she's not accepting of someone liking her), using me for a free meal and some touching. It's not me, I'm trying. I'm talking to one who has a daughter in the city I'm moving to (to be closer to work), however there's on that'll now be 2 hours away from me. So have no idea what I'm doing lol
Divorced my wife back in 2020 after finding out her affairs! Took half of my assets and my son. Went into whore phase for about 3 years. Met and incredible woman that I thought I wanna do life together, but turned out she’s crazy, too! Now, I’m just prefer to be alone. Will be 40 by October this year. There’s not enough juice to squeeze in this new dating world. The dating market is in hyperinflation
Being autistic, missing the social cues, and not knowing the “hints”
Probably just my morbid obesity, otherwise I think I'm all good. I got confidence, I got charisma, I improved my social skills a lot, the only thing that probably holds me back is that.
Honestly me. I don’t really know how to approach a woman out in the blue. Like what do I talk about? I’m a software engineer that WFH. I go to the gym because I’m overweight and I can’t drink alcohol, also all my coworkers are remote in different states 😂 what do I do?
My introversion, social life, standards. I could probably have a few gfs if I chose to lower my standards. And I could probably “get” what I (think that I ) deserve by being more outgoing and taking more chances. But alas, that’s not who I am.
I'm lazy while texting and I'm just not willing to spend a butt load of money with no guarantee of scoring.
Im not social enough/good socially.. And my decent apparel attractiveness doesn't compensate for it...
Don’t meet people very often, the times I do and gather enough courage to ask them out I get rejected. I can’t even get a date on a dating app. The worst part is I’m a decent looking guy and have a lot of productive hobbies, so idk what to do to fix it
Having the repulsive likeness of a disfigured and deformed toad, possessing zero social skills, lacking anything remotely resembling a personality, and being completely useless in anything related to relationships and intimacy.
I'm broke AF
they’re all dull as hell i can’t pretend to laugh at anymore tiktok’s or listen to the most basic music known to man
Been there done that. It's overrated. Now in 2024 it's all about situationships because I can invite them/kick them out whenever I want
I don’t feel like I am mentally adequate enough to maintain a relationship.
PTSD related fear of rejection.
Not having my life together!!
My expectations are higher than what I have to offer in return. My only expectations are be kinda cute, don’t cheat on me and don’t get the ick when I get a little depressed around Christmas time. Apparently being loyal, loving, mildly attractive, employed with a nice car and own my house is not enough to justify my expectations.
I want to have sustainable income and my own place first
I got really comfortable being alone. A few years ago I got off social media, & not a fan of dating apps. I own a coffee shop & day trade for work. I do lots of concerts & camping trips, cook, box, so I have plenty of hobbies and friends to do them with. There's a tolerance of bs that's really low at this point. Im not interested in dating anyone who I'm not comfortable raising kids with. The long term thinking rules out so many people instantaneously. Chronically online, no hobbies, always sucking on a vape or weed/nic pen, politicizing everything- they're just character flaws that I don't want in a partner. I'm sure there are some great women out there, I'm jusy not going out of my way to figure out where they are at this point.
socialphobia, and im not the rich, car and house having person, depression killed my pace in life, ill try to get it too late..
I actually self sabotage a lot. I just have it in me that I am unattractive so I ruin any chance I have and I certainly don't put in any effort. Reje tion is just something far too painful and I don't want to experience it ever again.
Crippling anxiety
There's no pussy at my job. There's little to no pussy at my apartment complex. And if there is, they dont step out of their apartment much except to go to work or run errands.
Not very social, childhood trauma, average looking, and I'm too poor and still in school.
I’m great at the first impression but either I or they often lose interest after 2/3 dates. I can fake it if I just wanna get laid but that gets old. I seem to attract clingy types.
I don't even want one. I just wanna fuck lol.
The quality of women is abysmally low
Man, how? Like cultural gap or smth?
The vast majority of them is used up by a bunch of guys and then you have a lot of them that are feminists and others that are very entitled. We’ve created the perfect storm for them to behave this way. No wonder the birth rates are collapsing everywhere in the western world
Honestly besides sex they bring nothing to the table. Most are entertaining multiple guys even when they get into a relationship they keep the back ups around. Already looked stupid once not doing it again. Recreational use only now
It's your mindset and blockages of approaching girls. I personally feels that whenever I see a girl I think what if she slaps me ? What is everyone watches me ? What if she yell and scream at me ? What if ? Approach it your mind that gives you hesitation.
Shy with social anxiety and confidence issues, people are overly religious where I’m from, and almost every person I meet seems to have an entitlement problem.
Not having money
I want a gf but I live in Utah.
Me being a short Asian dude
I feel ya. Tall, dark, and handsome chads seem to be ruling the world *smh*
I don’t want one…
Depression and being unattractive
Don’t want that shit lmao. Am I the only one? I’m only 23 and people before me proved they shouldn’t commit to each other before they can even commit to themselves lmao
I don’t meet very many new people anymore so there are no real possibilities.
I am skinny-fat and not in shape. I am also on Lexapro so losing any of the weight feels impossible. I hold myself to extremely high standards I can’t meet and don’t think I am a worthwhile option.
I'm just not enough, there's always someone better at something than I am so why choose me? Also I'm not very charming. Despite my best effort I've never apart from one time got a 2nd date. For there to be winners there have to be losers, I guess I know my place.
Insecurities. Recently I fell and chipped my two front teeth it's so terrible. I'm kinda afraid of the dentist so it's making it hard for me to go get the treatment I need done. Some days I'm ready to go and others I'm feeled with anxiety I know I need to face my fears and go see a dentist asap cause this is holding me back from alot . I stopped going out I feel insecure and it's constantly on my mind. I know once I accomplish making it to the dentist and start getting my dental care I need I'll feel 1.000 times better physically and mentally. Than I will be ready to date with confidence.
For me it's because I'm broke
Having my heart broken and not being able to move on. ❤️🩹
I’m not prepared to settle down. I date someone and convince myself I can do better so do not commit
A source of income
So, so many things. I am working on myself so I can be the best version of myself for someone who will appreciate it.
I'm scared to talk to girls I get nervous. I know everyone one does. But I'm willing to work through that. It's just hard with such little time. And feeling ugly. I'm overweight and feel like if I lose atleast 30 pounds( I need to actually lose 60 to get to a reasonable weight) I would feel more confident. Or if I had a friend there with me to help out. Idc about look maxing or anything I believe the right words mixed with confidence, will get me to where I want to go. It will always be about numbers and if some people have advantages over me thsts fine, its not like I haven't been at the bottom before eventually i have yo get to the top
Self image (currently reading psycho-cybernetics)
No social skills, specially when it comes to girls.
self improvement first , i have to be my best self first in order to get the best version of her.
I have this issue where I'm really good at socializing with random strangers at work. I just wish I could translate that to my personal life. I'd be the fucking man if I could do that.
My stupid face.
I really value my free time and independece and haven't found a girl yet that was worth it in my eyes to give a large chunk of that up.
I haven't found the right woman yet.
single girls dont exist
I am scared to approach
Marijuana and video games
broke
1. I am autistic as shit. I do not know how to socialize. 2. I have a terrible stutter. 3. I have multiple medical conditions. 4. There are no opportunities to date in my area. 5. Dating apps ruined dating. 6. The government, corporations, and how they ruined the economy also ruined dating. 7. I am also at the point in life where if you have experience it is considered a red flag and females will not want to date you.
Getting played and cheated on
I don't know how to socialize, and to make it a combo I moved to Sweden.
money
Living in a rural area, everyone is either already taken or too old.
30 , bartending for a living , out of shape.
Honestly, just meeting people. You're not going to meet anyone if you don't leave the house and when you leave the house, the number of activities where you can meet your particular type are likely limited.
Modern women
No sex drive and picky
It's a variety of things: I doubt anyone wants a short guy like myself, I don't have much to offer a woman at the moment (no money to waste), I haven't met anyone worth sacrificing my long term peace and happiness for, I'm not really putting myself in situations that would involve me meeting new people regularly because I'm usually too busy taking care of other important things. My lifestyle is basically just a perfect recipe to not have a girlfriend overall lol.
Mental health. I don’t want to make anyone else deal with my shit
Me, myself, and I. I'm focused on myself and professional advancement right now - Master's Degree, certs, etc. I had absolutely no luck on dating apps, and I don't approach women. The main place I meet new women is at the gym. Besides that I'm at work or at home. Frankly, I'm at peace after getting out of an 8 year relationship with someone with BPD 7 months ago now. I don't feel like inviting chaos into my life, I don't want to get hurt again, and I'm presently content. I've tried dating apps in the past with no success like most men. I use that time and energy for more fruitful efforts. I'm pretty damn successful and continuing to achieve my goals. I don't feel I have to prove myself to anyone nor grovel. So, multiple reasons.
Money
I need to completely get over my ex first before I can think about dating again
My extremely low level of self-esteem, confidence, and charisma.
I don't even know. It just never happened.
I go to work, I come back from work and see dog ahit and piss everywhere. Brother is too lazy to clean up or do dishes or pick up cigarettes he litters outaide. I have two baby siblings heavily dependent on me. A womanchild mother and a stepdad that walked out after mom cheated and goes out to party every night leaving us alone. Stepdad takes kids when he can, and they love him for it but I am left to clean the shit and to take care of the house or baby sit because my brother(25) yells st the kids constantly
Small town and small social circle
I'm a cigarette smoker and enjoy getting drunk all the time. So I don't even bother. Also. Too many other problems to worry about outside of that
Shyness and pickiness
I don't wanna waste money on a brat that will give me nothing on exchange of my time and energy.
Trust after being abused and discarded by a narcissist
Their common sense 🙁
Emotional intimacy
I don’t know how to flirt / be playful. I’m too platonic and too friendly
I can’t drive. It’s typically a turn off
finances… that is all
My face
I don't want one. I want to give a better quality of life to the person im seeing and I dont believe I can do that right now because I have other priorities and limited energy.
Not a single clue on how to begin. Covered in vitiligo (my resting bitch face certainly doesn’t help) so I’m used to people too scared to look at me. Even then, still no idea how to start. Can’t pop up a random question (I think) and it feels strange to suddenly greet someone. Even if the greeting is a normal thing that I’m just too afraid to do, don’t know how to continue.
Don't know where to meet people.
Only child pretty much a lone wolf 🐺 every social connection is broken at this point since I’m past college have little too no family and work like crazy. I also have no interest in bars or clubs never did and church feels like being out of place. Most women I would be interested in are taken or have children at this point idc it reaffirms my selfish tendencies.
Money
Lack of time and interest
You know, the usual traumatic demons from my upbringing, poor social skills, baggage from my previous relationship, me being more reserved than vocal.
I don’t know honestly. Maybe I rush things and aren’t as direct when I need to be. I have my standards also so girls that aren’t at my level are not who I go with.
I don't go out to bars as I don't drink often and I work too much because I have to.
I don't meet people I'm attracted to and the people I met aren't attracted to me
Shyness and not being 100% certain that I’m over my ex.
I guess me being an Indian guy in US is holding me back! I guess i will get auto rejected for approaching girls
Rejection. Blanket comment, I know. But it's the only answer. I'm 0 for 8 (soon to be 11) this year so far. I managed to get a date with an old coworker of mine with the help of an acquaintance of mine, but she took it as a 'friends having an outing'. Frustration and depression are an understatement when considered I'm handsome, have a good amount of money + savings (I live at home), dress nicely, workout a lot, smell good, and have a great personality. You know, all the qualities every YouTuber and Twitter comment tells you to have? All of which make older and married women attracted to me, and have gotten me countless compliments and long conversations when at bars. And yet, you couldn't pay another 20-something year old to look at me at those same bars. I may as well be talking to a rock. This also leaves everyone surprised when they learn I'm single and don't have a body count. I've even tried changing my personality so I could start having ONS with women from my job (I work at an Amazon warehouse where almost all women are EXTREMELY loose), only to fall flat on my face because I either rush and say things that give them the creeps, or my real personality shows and I get rejected for being "too nice." I'm thinking about quitting altogether tbh.
Because I don’t know how to take care of them and how often to feed them
I want to lose some weight and get healthier, which is going to take a while because I drink too much, which I'm also working on. Outside of these things, I think I'm not a bad catch. Steady job, car, house, no debt (although not enough savings lol), sense of humor. I just got to do some self work to get my confidence up
It’s a complete fucking waste of time chasing skirt these days. I’d rather spend time doing things I actually enjoy than sucking up to the annoying fickle sex.
Mommy issues. Plus I'm not interested in one at the moment.
they aren’t attracted to my weirdness and i get way to invested
The fact that I don't have my finances in order or a stable career (I'm a freelance musician but I'm working on getting a full time job to set myself up better).
The fact that I live at home with my parents to save money while attending law school. Being 5’8” doesn’t help.
1. Black 2. Insane body but below avg face 3. Financially well off and educated (can’t advertise any of this shit) 4. I can make girls laugh and chat them up no problem, the pull / flirty part I am complete shit at.
I keep seeing poc mentioning race. Curious, are y'all only going after white girls? Is it a 'disadvantage' if you're trying to get a woman of your race?
It's a REAL weird and obvious-to-answer question, but I'll give you mine: 1. Not having the desired physics: I'm 5'7 and almost ALL girls get turned off when the first digit is not 6. I DO go to gym regularly and have a bit of muscle under the hood. 2. Not being the top 1% of all men financially :)) yeah funny but who's gonna date with a guy who isn't gonna take her to cozy restaurants and always grab a coffee to go? And subsequently: 3. Dressing normal (not top fashion), having hygiene, wearing not so luxury parfums. 4. Not owing a car or a house ( I do have a renting house in a shared flat) So yeah. Whose gonna date this kinda guy?
Post last relationship, I just wanna focus on work and getting shit done. Girls are a huge distraction rn. Never had a problem with pickup, or girls overall. But imagine if all you guys took all this energy and put it into making yourself wealthier, happier and healthier! Musk wouldn’t be the wealthiest person anymore 😂😅 But seriously.
I’ve only been single 6 months in total since October of 2019. I’ve had multiple relationships, and after my last relationship ended 2 months ago, I realised I’m not ready for a relationship. I kept getting into relationships because I thought I was a loser if I didn’t have one. I wanted intimacy and love, but I’ve realised that I need to learn to love myself before I can commit to someone. I realised that I’m far too behind in life to have a proper relationship. It will take me 3 or 4 years to be where I want to be before I can seriously consider getting into a proper relationship. I just want a life partner, someone to cuddle every night and who I can shower with love. I’m holding myself back, because I don’t want to be selfish or hold anyone else back.
At the moment, having a hard time finding a woman. I was dating a 10, then she dumped me and I am stuck wondering what to do. Guys, never commit or settle when you get a girlfriend, try and keep looking for a backup.
Don’t let your gf stop you from finding your wife 😂
I have a wife, a girlfriend, and a fuck buddy. I'd say I'm good on this, lol.
How tall are you? How deep is your voice? Would you say you have a super attractive face? Are you an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert (in between)?
I'm a 7 on my best day and have high functioning autism. The idea that only hot guys can be good at seduction not only is projecting men's desires onto women (they really don't care about looks nearly as much as the black pilled clowns on here claim), but it also is an excuse that men use to not put in the work to be good at seduction, and I will never entertain it.
Are they all aware of each other?
Teach me the way sensei
Only if you're worthy.
Well being gay is a big part of it that's holding me back . Once I learned how to get past that then I should be okay..