Weird, no. That happens to a lot of people. Unhealthy? Yes. If you two were to break up then you’re out of friends. People need more than their SO as friends.
My Ex Boyfriend didn't make any new friends after we moved, didn't try and find hobbies and refused to do anything without me (I encouraged him alot and tried to help him with either but he just didnt do it). It ended up being incredibly exhausting for me cause I felt I can't do anything aline without "leaving him behind". Being someone's only friend or social contact for the most part is also incredibly demanding and unfair.
this is the thing that has kept me single for a while now. When i get with someone and they think i have nothing else to do but spend time 24/7 with them. People need hobbies and friends outside of a relationship, or at least i do.
You keep scheduling and doing tour things. I play soccer and hockey and those are my friends I give wife schedule and she knows.
She complained that I'm out and she isn't but the counter there is why aren't you out too. Why don't you get a thing like sports or bingo. She ended up doing kickboxing and now she never complains about Wednesday night with the kids because she knows no questions it could be my night for the kids Tues Thurs etc. As long as it's scheduled it's all just communication in the end a global family calendar helps
Sounds like boat I'm in I talk to my ex a lot even when I move haven't met anyone new were I'm at I try talking to new people n stuff n socialize but it became troublesome in my age but I also am in process deleting social media n stuff n just back at my anti social stage.
? How do you know it wasn't like that? Also I have been in a relationship like that, you don't need to not be able to go outside alone to be overwhelmed by your partner getting sad if you choose to do ANYTHING by yourself
She never said he was getting sad when she went out, and she never said she wasn’t allowed to go out on her own. From the info she’s provided, it seems like her partner is more introverted and likes to stay home and she’s not cool with it and projects as if he has an issue with her leaving him home.
I feel like you are projecting :( are you introverted? Maybe we both are? Just projecting our experiences on what we read. She deleted the post, but from her comment I got he didn't like it when he had hobbies or would spend time with other people. That feels oppressive, like now you associate wanting some alone time, wanting to hang out with just the girls or really focused on your hobby not hanging out with having to cheer him up because he will get sad or feeling guilty he will get upset.
She literally said she it was exhausting, demanding and unfair to her because he didn’t want to do things without her. How am I projecting. This is what she said?
Bro... That's not healthy. Not wanting to do things without her? Are you interpreting it as he didn't want to go social functions without her? That's fair if they're super Shum Personally I interpret it as THINGS like didn't wanna do anything without her, not start up a new hobby, watch a tv show by himself, nuthinnnn
I highly doubt bro isn’t doing anything on his own. Everyone has something they like to do. It’s disingenuous to assume he’s sitting at home with no hobbies staring at the wall.
When we met he was super social and we had independent and overlapping friend circles. I never claimed he wouldn't let me go out and I never projected and neither was he an introvert. I actually was more introverted than him.
He just wouldn't or VERY RARELY do anything without me. I tried talking to him about it so many times to figure out how and why it changed and never got a proper answer aside of a shrug and avoiding the topic.
Happened to me, my GF was my whole social life and when she broke up with me I had no one to support me through it, it was rough as hell, don't repeat my errors, try to have friends other then your SO, and preferably people who your SO is not friends with as well
>Weird, no. That happens to a lot of people
Since when are "weird" and "common experiences" synonymous? Weird is meant to describe a state of potential abnormality...
Which, OP, with as many papers have been written about how concerning it is that men are becoming totally isolated with no friends they can emotionally rely on apart from a partner, you know, in the case of the fights that *will* happen--youre hunan. Everybody needs a support network. A lot of the times immediate family and their partners were not sufficient for playing this role--its specifically meant to be other men you see as peers.
I don't want you to think I'm saying you and your gf will break up, but divorce statistics and the number of young men currently avoiding relationships altogether is some 30% in the US. The total number of single young men is about 60%. 2 out of 3 is single right now. By young, I'm pretty sure it covers between 16-30 yo's.
Protect yourself man. If anything happens, are you going to be totally on your own? Btw, what's this "incident" earlier in the year you are talking about? Ngl, your gf sounds like an abuser that's trying to isolate you from any sort of friends or support group so she can manipulate you.
Any time I hear about "incidents" or anytime somebody loses *all* their old friends because of their current partner, I *immediately* suspect that they're an abusive manipulator trying to isolate you and make you vulnerable... Your sure that's not happening?
True for most I guess, not everyone though. If I didn't have my wife and kids, my dream would be to live all on my own as a hermit somewhere remote. Fuck people.
Just completing my 2nd divorce achievement, and am now happily hermitting.
My fam: That's great your are happy.
My fam: Wait, you can't be happy living alone.
If it weren't for my mental health consultant I would be believing them right now.
Speaking from experience here... I did the same thing with my last girlfriend. We were together 8 years, and without realizing it, I had slowly moved away from all my friends and focused on her and she be come my only friend.. She was everything to me.
When we broke up about 4 1/2 years ago, it was when it hit me. People I was close to and trusted had moved on because I stopped hanging out or talking to them. Never give up your friends.... because if you do, and something happens... you will be alone. It sucks and I wish I could go back and redo it again.
I can live without her, but not having any friends now is even harder.
My wife demanded a lot of my attention, didn't really like me going to do things without her, didn't really like my friends. Well lost those relationships and she left me and my daughter is gone half the time now and I'm alone. So yeah, don't give up having your own friends.
Happened to me too. 6 years with her and felt like I had to choose between her or my friends because I wasn’t giving her enough attention and I think she had lack of trust. Then once she was my fiancée she cheated and has completely ghosted me without any explanation or closure… and I’m all alone with no friends. Lessons have been learned.
Can relate, although fortunately it didn’t get to marriage for me. Everytime I tried to hang out with friends without her, we would argue long enough that I’d miss the hangout or say “fuck it just come with me.” If I had the nerve to get in a conversation that didn’t involve her, we would argue. Even when she was out of town and I hung out with people, I’d start getting angry snapchats that I was not responding to her enough and soon I’d be on a call getting yelled at for “only wanting to talk to her when I have nothing to do” even though we would be snapchatting literally the entire day.
It’s a weird thing, cause I was never getting told “no you’re not allowed to hang out with these people,” but she made every step of being social so unbearable that I basically just stopped. It has been pretty difficult to put my life back together after that, but I did manage to salvage some friendships I had neglected.
A lot has changed in nearly 5 years since she walked out on me. My old friends have moved on, some got married others are busy with their own life... they know what happened, and they know I let her use me and control me... it is very embarrassing for me.
I have suffered from deep depression since she left. All I do is go to work and come home. It's easier to just be alone.
I'm late to this but nah bro, reach out. If you where my friend I wouldn't care if I moved across the country, got married with children and busy running a business... Id still be happy to hear from you and talk again.
I always wondered about people who were dating their significant other for multiple years. You were together 8 years. Why not get married long before the 8 year mark? And you were together 8 years what can cause a relationship to break at that point that you walk away instead of working on the relationship
It's kind of a long story... basically, she didn't want to get married. As she told me for years, I was the only guy who treated her like she mattered and truly loved her. She was, however, not the kind of person to give compliments or be overly affectionate. She also didn't like showing me that I mattered to her. She always said, "I'm with you, isn't that enough?"... I dealt with it for as long as I could, and when I was dealing with some problems and asked her for help... I had never asked her for anything, and she told me she had her own shit to deal with... at that point, I told her how I felt and that I was sick of only being 2nd to everything and everyone.
She stopped talking to me or answering texts, calls, or anything. Basically she ghosted me.
It’s not like super weird BUT you should try to make more friends and put in the effort to connect with more people. It’s healthy for both your personal life and your relationship.
that's so true,, ive been trying to be more connective w people bc i started realizing i do also need a life outside of my partner but im an introvert who also struggles to put themselves out there LOL
Honestly man just put a little more effort in with some of your coworkers. It’s gonna be natural because of work and in a way, you don’t have to do as much work because you’re close. If your work has any events make the effort to go out to them. At the very least it’s just some good practice at putting yourself out there.
My bf is an introverted guy too, so am I, but I've tried to make more friends over the years and he had lost the only other friend he had.
You can keep spending time with coworkers and try to find people with your same hobbies. Do you have any extended family? Like a cousin you could catch up with? I recently reconnected with a few family members and it's been nice, but every family is different.
I’m an introvert who really enjoys, and needs, time to myself.
My gf is always bugging me to spend more time with my friends. But I spend so much time with her that, when she’s not around, I really just like to hang out alone.
Introverts recharge by spending time alone. Extroverts recharge by being around people.
Different strokes for different folks.
Not saying that that is your situation though.
Came here to look for this comment. "It's not healthy, if you break up you'll be alone!" Sounds great to me.
There is some sort of cultural expectation that people should have a lot of friends and constantly seek companionship. I think it's only a problem if it bothers _you_. Personally, I find the upkeep needed for friendships exhausting, and I'm perfectly content having only a handful of friends (including my partner)
I was always the friend people would be mad at cuz I never initiated hang outs. But I like to write, play music, exercise, practice basketball, clean my house, and do other things at home alone. Like these are activities they bring me immense joy. So hanging out with other people always feels like I’m sacrificing for them. I grew up in a conservative Christian town so I grew away from all of the people I knew and honestly I’ve been way healthier having more time to myself.
> Like these are activities they bring me immense joy.
I feel like super extroverted/social people have sometimes hard time understanding how rich, fulfilling and entertaining the inner life of an introvert can be. Same way as I find it difficult to understand how rich, fulfilling and entertaining a very extroverted person's life can be.
When I’m around good people, I enjoy the socialization. But at the same time, I gotta feed my cats and water my plants so I legit cannot be away from home for extended periods of time without planning in advance. I’m not an introvert or an extrovert. But I spent my life building towards an existence that is fulfilling and sustainable for me long term. My mental health sort of requires me to have this stability. People tend to get offended that I won’t change my personal routine just to spend time with them. I have specific times in my life where I have time to spend with people. If that doesn’t match up with your lifestyle, that simply means we aren’t meant to be friends in that capacity.
I think technology has really thrown a wrench in healthy relationships. For millions of years, humans and our ancestors were only ever able to socialize with the people we were able to spend time around. With the advent of writing, we were able to stay in touch with people over vast distances and time periods. Once we were able to harness light and electricity, we’ve been able to communicate with people over vast distances but without the vast time differences. Nowadays, we make friends that were were supposed to lose, but because we have social media, we can keep in touch with a ton of people in an online community even if they live on the other side of the world.
If you manage your life and balance the aspects of it well, i don't think there's anything wrong with this.
I've been asking myself the same question. My wife is slowly becoming my only friend, and it just feels completely natural and happy.
I was always very popular in school, university and after. Had friends all over the world. Travelled a lot, met a lot of people.
I have a lot of friends still online & on social media. But i just don't enjoy socializing with a lot of my local friends. A lot of them are toxic / lack respect, and just used to make me feel bad. I've been phasing them out and I'm MUCH happier.
Me & my wife are both active, healthy, enjoy our time together, have our private time that we both respect. We both do our own activities outside. We both work, and have other friendly acquaintances. If one of us does go and socialize, there's no bad atmosphere of any kind. There isn't any jealousy, or negativity, or anything. Everything just works perfectly.
We both just don't really "need" other close friends and neither of us really "need" to socialize in larger friendship groups. It may be weird, i don't know. But we are happy.
Babe as a fellow wlw I totally get the desire to be totally wrapped up in your gf but it’s really important to have other people in your life as well. Learned this the hard way when my gf of 7 years broke up with me and I had nothing
As a serious introvert, it's not weird at all, and it's always been that way for me. I have buds, pals, huntin' fishin' and music buds. But my sweetheart is my only true friend, and she probably always will be my one and only.
Cuz a relationship won’t be healthy if one person feels like a therapist as well as a partner. If you only have one friend then you only have one person that you’re sharing stuff with. If you’re friends with other family members then it’s fine, but only have one person that you talk to is not sustainable unless you’re good at managing your own issues. Otherwise you’re coming to one person with all of your problems and eventually they’ll get burnt out.
Because humans are social animals and it’s not fair to your partner if you expect them to be everything. People should not be expected to be therapists, friends, lovers, comedians, sounding boards, etc ALL OF THE TIME.
I am also not saying women or men either because even though men are more likely to expect their partner to be their only friend, I’ve known plenty of women who expect it of their partners too, and not just hetero couples either. In fact the worse case I ever saw of this was a lesbian couple who were so enmeshed, dependent, and codependent it was terrifying and sad.
Also, if you only have your partner, what happens when you have a serious issue or a breakdown and need them but they’re having their own serious issue or breakdown and can’t be what you need them to be in that moment?
Humans are not made to pair up and stay solitary within the pairings.
Edit: Even extreme introverts with severe social anxiety should have at least a couple people they can talk to.
In my case, it happened slowly and I dropped from my friend group in a bout the same time frame as OP. We got married. My family was a bunch of assholes so within about 5 years I didn’t talk to many of them anymore either. Another 12 years later, I suddenly woke up to the fact that she was a narcissist. She had driven wedges between me and everyone else who cared about me. She was very slick about it too. I lasted another 6 years or so as a prisoner in my own home because I had no way out. I wasn’t wealthy enough to just leave, and I had no support structure.
28 years later, I’m happily divorced and reconnecting with many people. I wasn’t the loner I thought I was, they weren’t the bad people I was convinced they were.
OP just has to really be cautious that this isn’t what’s happening to him, it happens to many people. A close friend would be a good spotter for this type of situation.
It happened to me kinda. Like she's basically my only friend is this country. Still I sometimes talk to my old friends in other countries, we never stopped being friends, we just don't talk very often anymore.
It's not necessarily weird or rare but it's not great either. But is hard making new friends as an adult. Specially if you used to party and do drugs and you now live a calmer life. Some of my old friends I wouldn't know what we'd do but drink and get fucked up.
You might have autism - it gets thrown around a lot but assuming you aren’t deeply depressed and unhappy, you may just have a very low social battery and are drained easily.
You could also REALLY suck at taking care of your own mental health and just get super drained by everyone and everything because you take no time for yourself.
Should probably look into all that - it definitely helped me gauge normalcy better for myself to fully understand myself rather than trying to compare to others.
omg thank you, it really could be just that. but yes, i have been becoming more at peace with myself and finding a way to connect and reach out with others
Not weird but a great way to become co dependent, and that’s just not healthy. Speaking from experience. It’s nice to have more than one friend, people do get tired of each other in the sense of being around them all the time. If you want it to last, I suggest having more than just her as your friend.
Not weird at all. My boyfriend is my only friend besides my immediate family. I have “bar friends” but it’s not the same. I get excited when someone snapchats me which doesn’t happen very often. I have tried to make some female friends, but it never works out for me. I’m still trying though. Someone, someday is gonna match my weird vibe and it’ll be great. (:
i would put effort into making friends and building your own life outside of your relationship as much as you can. It adds so much to your life and helps keep your relationship healthy and sustainable bc you aren’t relying on your partner to fulfill every role in your life. My ex bf and I were together for 2.5 years, broke up earlier this year, and he was left with nearly no support network after the fact which really concerned me. The break up was hard on the both of us but I’m sure even more so for him bc of his lack of meaningful friendships. Even in our relationship he was unhappy bc of the lack of meaningful friendships he had. Everyone needs a well rounded community.
I have no friends and I'm single. Yes, it is weird, and yes, i am going to have friends and a gf in the future. Its a weird situation. You live the life you live.
Most men nowadays only have their SO as their friend, which makes it that much worse when they break up. Imagine your support group vanishing overnight, and the person you loved the most is not with you anymore. Brutal.
As others have said it is not heslthy.
3 months who a coworker of mine committed suicide. He was struggling with depression since December, when his wife suddenly died. He had no one else in his life. He was 53 and literally couldn't life without her. Its beautiful in some way, but not if you know hes leaving behind a 21 year old daughter.
Dont become completely dependant.
Get more friends. My ex broke up with me 2 months ago and she was basically my only friend. Now I have to suffer alone while she has a giant support network. Please don’t be like me.
Not weird, though you need to consider if you had many friends before her and why they are not around.
Some men/women isolate a partner from friends and family, ensuring the partner is totally reliant on them for affection and socializing. That is a dodgy one to extract from.
My bf and I are each other’s best friends. We’re the first ones to tell each other anything new or funny or interesting.
We also have other friends for hobbies and sports we each have but don’t enjoy. I don’t like golf, he has friends for that. I like tennis but he doesn’t, so I have my own friends for that.
It’s fine to be BFFs but don’t isolate yourself from others.
Unusual i'd say. Do you have no hobbies that have a social aspect to them like gaming, sports, music?
I understand losing contanct to schoolmates or childhood friends when moving away, but do you do nothing social wether irl or online?
i'm an introvert but couldn't live without friends, a partner wouldn't suffice.
I was in the same situation, and quite happy with that. Until she broke up with me and I plummeted into a hole of lonelyness with basically noone to talk to. Try and get some other social connections, even if this is forever, you and she will benefit from it.
I think we would have worked out far better if we had not been as codependent as we were.
Same here, but the reason might be different.
We moved to another town when we moved in together, so I left my friends in the city. Then we got 2 kids before I could really make friends. Now work and family keep me so busy that I don't even have time for hobbies. It will probably get better when the kids are a bit older and don't need attention all the time anymore. Though I'll probably miss that a bit, too.
I still got a friend from my childhood that I'm close to, but she lives about 7 hours by car away and also has kids, so we don't see each other that often.
Not weird, but it's healthy to have other friends too. Consider:
* Reconnecting with old friends (apologize if needed).
* Joining clubs/activities to meet new people.
Your gf is amazing, but friendships can offer different support!
Personally I wouldn't say it's weird, I couldn't tell you if it's healthy or not though. It's been like 8/9 months now since my bf of almost 7 years broke up with me. I haven't felt the need or want to reconnect with people I lost during that time- coulda gone my whole life just having him as a friend and I'd be happy honestly- even without him it's not like I'm looking around thinking damn now I've got no friends to talk to. Maybe you should maintain or seek out connections outside your relationship but maybe you're not a people person? I don't think I am, and if that's the case is it still codependency? Idk I'm just yapping.
nothing inherently wrong. This is my 2 cents
If you manage your life and balance the aspects of it well, i don't think there's anything wrong with this.
I've been asking myself the same question. My wife is slowly becoming my only friend, and it just feels completely natural and happy.
I was always very popular in school, university and after. Had friends all over the world. Travelled a lot, met a lot of people.
I have a lot of friends still online & on social media. But i just don't enjoy socializing with a lot of my local friends. A lot of them are toxic / lack respect, and just used to make me feel bad. I've been phasing them out and I'm MUCH happier.
Me & my wife are both active, healthy, enjoy our time together, have our private time that we both respect. We both do our own activities outside. We both work, and have other friendly acquaintances. If one of us does go and socialize, there's no bad atmosphere of any kind. There isn't any jealousy, or negativity, or anything. Everything just works perfectly.
We both just don't really "need" other close friends and neither of us really "need" to socialize in larger friendship groups. It may be weird, i don't know. But we are happy.
I don’t know your age but yeah that’s kinda just what happens. I mean it is good to have at least one friend outside your partner just for getting (and giving, no one way streets) a type of support your gf can’t really give. But definitely as far as “best friend” as an adult, I think is actually really good if you’re with a person you plan/hope to spend your life with.
Same as others are saying, not weird or unusual but not the best for you. I moved to a new state to be with my bf and I have no friends now!! I text a couple of my friends back home but it’s not the same and it’s harder than I thought to make new friends as an adult. I’m lucky I found a good job and have wonderful coworkers.
I recommend finding a semi-social hobby you can do at least once per week. I tried a board game night at the library a couple times but not sold on that yet. Next is rock climbing. My bf does kickball and pickleball. If you can find an activity that’s recurring with the same group of folks I’m sure you’ll be on your way :)
Ive been with my gf for 7 years now. Shes the only one i talk to really. Have somewhat of a big immediate family and hardly talk to them. Just see them on birthdays and other get togethers but hardly ever text. Outside of them i dont talk to anyone
My bf (now hubby) and i were like this during covid. But since covid let up, we've gone back to office, got back to meeting friends (countable on one hand)... but even that i think is enough.
I have lots of acquaintances but yeah I'm the same with my partner. I don't think it's a bad thing- there's a reason you've chosen to be with them, right? There's a difference between codependency and just being each other's best friend.
It's relatively common but it's not healthy. First of all, we're social creatures. Your partner cannot compensate for a whole community, even if she was the most amazing person in the world. And she could experience compassion fatigue from trying to compensate for a community because she loves you.
Additionally, are you the only person she is friends with?
No, it's very common for men. Don't let that be the case, find your own friends and find time to do your own thing. Belive me when I say this, cuz women a couple yrs down the road will not find you enough for them, maybe even bored, so they will either leave you or dump you and you will have nothing. I just experienced this myself and found out that Millions of guys out there are dealing with this shit, men between the ages of 25 -60. .... maybe even younger but relationship fails happen this way at any age...
top comment is right
it’s not necessarily as weird as it is precarious. Having no support system outside of your spouse puts you at risk of things like codependency, clinginess, etc.
like if you have an issue it could potentially be unfair to your gf that nobody on earth seems to be able to come to your aid but her, and try as they might, that generally becomes difficult for both partners eventually.
Community is important because we all deserve attention and support, but that job is usually big enough to be spread across multiple people for multiple instances
My wife is my only friend. I used to have friends but I either cut them off for various reasons, we drifted apart, or they got a girlfriend and wanted to stop being friends with me. She has friends. I still see people I’m friendly with at the bar I go to and I have a hobby but have no friends. It’s okay. I’m fine with it. I’m less outgoing since I’m medicated now. And I love my wife. Just make sure you’re happy about it and it’s not that weird
Very weird because it really shows a lack of commitment to human connection outside the romantic one where as an adult it requires deliberate effort to make and maintain friendships and a lot of people choose to or unknowingly centre their partner at the cost of their other friendships which tend to leave said person alone and friendless outside of it so yes....
My soon to be ex wife is bipolar, schizoeffective, and BPD. I learned that isolating you from friends and family is something people with these disorders do. It wasn't until after 7 years and me catching her cheating that when I talked to my family, they had no idea I had an amazing job, a great life, lived comfortably, and had my shit together.
When I spoke with an attorney about the pending restraining order case (she stopped taking her meds and the divorce got very very ugly, and still is) I did a shit ton of research on these disorders because I didn't understand what happened, that's when I realized that the isolation is utilized as a form of abuse, among other methods. A fit 6' 225lb tall man was told that he was the victim of domestic abuse (through other means as well) by a 5' 2" 110lb woman.
I sat for 5 minutes in silence when it sunk in. I distinctly remember the myriad of emotions that ran through my head at lightning speed. That was 4 months ago. It still fucking kills right now.
Yes. Seek company outside of just youR SO. Trust my 100% on this. I'm in a city now, cases pending, with zero family and zero friends. Zero. I can't describe the loneliness friend. I have begun to go back out but frankly bars don't count. You need healthy, trustworthy, GOOD friends to talk to even if it's just to vent, get away, or in case the worst happens. We're social creatures, be social.
Weird, no. That happens to a lot of people. Unhealthy? Yes. If you two were to break up then you’re out of friends. People need more than their SO as friends.
My Ex Boyfriend didn't make any new friends after we moved, didn't try and find hobbies and refused to do anything without me (I encouraged him alot and tried to help him with either but he just didnt do it). It ended up being incredibly exhausting for me cause I felt I can't do anything aline without "leaving him behind". Being someone's only friend or social contact for the most part is also incredibly demanding and unfair.
this is the thing that has kept me single for a while now. When i get with someone and they think i have nothing else to do but spend time 24/7 with them. People need hobbies and friends outside of a relationship, or at least i do.
May as well make that last sentence “social contract” instead
Dealing with this right now, what do I do about this
You keep scheduling and doing tour things. I play soccer and hockey and those are my friends I give wife schedule and she knows. She complained that I'm out and she isn't but the counter there is why aren't you out too. Why don't you get a thing like sports or bingo. She ended up doing kickboxing and now she never complains about Wednesday night with the kids because she knows no questions it could be my night for the kids Tues Thurs etc. As long as it's scheduled it's all just communication in the end a global family calendar helps
Sounds like boat I'm in I talk to my ex a lot even when I move haven't met anyone new were I'm at I try talking to new people n stuff n socialize but it became troublesome in my age but I also am in process deleting social media n stuff n just back at my anti social stage.
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Fr this person makes it seem like she wasn’t allowed to go out on their own.
? How do you know it wasn't like that? Also I have been in a relationship like that, you don't need to not be able to go outside alone to be overwhelmed by your partner getting sad if you choose to do ANYTHING by yourself
She never said he was getting sad when she went out, and she never said she wasn’t allowed to go out on her own. From the info she’s provided, it seems like her partner is more introverted and likes to stay home and she’s not cool with it and projects as if he has an issue with her leaving him home.
I feel like you are projecting :( are you introverted? Maybe we both are? Just projecting our experiences on what we read. She deleted the post, but from her comment I got he didn't like it when he had hobbies or would spend time with other people. That feels oppressive, like now you associate wanting some alone time, wanting to hang out with just the girls or really focused on your hobby not hanging out with having to cheer him up because he will get sad or feeling guilty he will get upset.
She literally said she it was exhausting, demanding and unfair to her because he didn’t want to do things without her. How am I projecting. This is what she said?
Bro... That's not healthy. Not wanting to do things without her? Are you interpreting it as he didn't want to go social functions without her? That's fair if they're super Shum Personally I interpret it as THINGS like didn't wanna do anything without her, not start up a new hobby, watch a tv show by himself, nuthinnnn
I highly doubt bro isn’t doing anything on his own. Everyone has something they like to do. It’s disingenuous to assume he’s sitting at home with no hobbies staring at the wall.
When we met he was super social and we had independent and overlapping friend circles. I never claimed he wouldn't let me go out and I never projected and neither was he an introvert. I actually was more introverted than him. He just wouldn't or VERY RARELY do anything without me. I tried talking to him about it so many times to figure out how and why it changed and never got a proper answer aside of a shrug and avoiding the topic.
Him not explaining to you why is messed up. But not everything else.
Happened to me, my GF was my whole social life and when she broke up with me I had no one to support me through it, it was rough as hell, don't repeat my errors, try to have friends other then your SO, and preferably people who your SO is not friends with as well
This happened to me. You need friends other than your SO and I found out the hard way.
Same. Was running out of friends, then my wife and I moved to a different city. She burnt out and left.
Dont break up. Problem solved. 😁
I learned the hard way that it’s not always up to you 🥲
Second this.
Third this
Yeah man, the Matrix is telling you to get more friends. Now go party with those crackheads.
>Weird, no. That happens to a lot of people Since when are "weird" and "common experiences" synonymous? Weird is meant to describe a state of potential abnormality... Which, OP, with as many papers have been written about how concerning it is that men are becoming totally isolated with no friends they can emotionally rely on apart from a partner, you know, in the case of the fights that *will* happen--youre hunan. Everybody needs a support network. A lot of the times immediate family and their partners were not sufficient for playing this role--its specifically meant to be other men you see as peers. I don't want you to think I'm saying you and your gf will break up, but divorce statistics and the number of young men currently avoiding relationships altogether is some 30% in the US. The total number of single young men is about 60%. 2 out of 3 is single right now. By young, I'm pretty sure it covers between 16-30 yo's. Protect yourself man. If anything happens, are you going to be totally on your own? Btw, what's this "incident" earlier in the year you are talking about? Ngl, your gf sounds like an abuser that's trying to isolate you from any sort of friends or support group so she can manipulate you. Any time I hear about "incidents" or anytime somebody loses *all* their old friends because of their current partner, I *immediately* suspect that they're an abusive manipulator trying to isolate you and make you vulnerable... Your sure that's not happening?
True for most I guess, not everyone though. If I didn't have my wife and kids, my dream would be to live all on my own as a hermit somewhere remote. Fuck people.
Just completing my 2nd divorce achievement, and am now happily hermitting. My fam: That's great your are happy. My fam: Wait, you can't be happy living alone. If it weren't for my mental health consultant I would be believing them right now.
People who (for unknown reason) like people lack understanding for strongly disliking people
No need for them to break up … they’re clearly soulmates
Speaking from experience here... I did the same thing with my last girlfriend. We were together 8 years, and without realizing it, I had slowly moved away from all my friends and focused on her and she be come my only friend.. She was everything to me. When we broke up about 4 1/2 years ago, it was when it hit me. People I was close to and trusted had moved on because I stopped hanging out or talking to them. Never give up your friends.... because if you do, and something happens... you will be alone. It sucks and I wish I could go back and redo it again. I can live without her, but not having any friends now is even harder.
My wife demanded a lot of my attention, didn't really like me going to do things without her, didn't really like my friends. Well lost those relationships and she left me and my daughter is gone half the time now and I'm alone. So yeah, don't give up having your own friends.
Typical isolation tactic of narcissists. Sorry this happened to you.
Happened to me too. 6 years with her and felt like I had to choose between her or my friends because I wasn’t giving her enough attention and I think she had lack of trust. Then once she was my fiancée she cheated and has completely ghosted me without any explanation or closure… and I’m all alone with no friends. Lessons have been learned.
Can relate, although fortunately it didn’t get to marriage for me. Everytime I tried to hang out with friends without her, we would argue long enough that I’d miss the hangout or say “fuck it just come with me.” If I had the nerve to get in a conversation that didn’t involve her, we would argue. Even when she was out of town and I hung out with people, I’d start getting angry snapchats that I was not responding to her enough and soon I’d be on a call getting yelled at for “only wanting to talk to her when I have nothing to do” even though we would be snapchatting literally the entire day. It’s a weird thing, cause I was never getting told “no you’re not allowed to hang out with these people,” but she made every step of being social so unbearable that I basically just stopped. It has been pretty difficult to put my life back together after that, but I did manage to salvage some friendships I had neglected.
Yeah being your own social circle is crazy lonely feeling and just feels different going about your days.
Can you not reach out to those friends? Unless if the falling out was ugly and irredeemable, some of them might be happy that you are back.
A lot has changed in nearly 5 years since she walked out on me. My old friends have moved on, some got married others are busy with their own life... they know what happened, and they know I let her use me and control me... it is very embarrassing for me. I have suffered from deep depression since she left. All I do is go to work and come home. It's easier to just be alone.
I would still reach out, you have nothing to lose. And everyone has a couple of afternoons to spare in a month to see a friend.
I'm late to this but nah bro, reach out. If you where my friend I wouldn't care if I moved across the country, got married with children and busy running a business... Id still be happy to hear from you and talk again.
I always wondered about people who were dating their significant other for multiple years. You were together 8 years. Why not get married long before the 8 year mark? And you were together 8 years what can cause a relationship to break at that point that you walk away instead of working on the relationship
It's kind of a long story... basically, she didn't want to get married. As she told me for years, I was the only guy who treated her like she mattered and truly loved her. She was, however, not the kind of person to give compliments or be overly affectionate. She also didn't like showing me that I mattered to her. She always said, "I'm with you, isn't that enough?"... I dealt with it for as long as I could, and when I was dealing with some problems and asked her for help... I had never asked her for anything, and she told me she had her own shit to deal with... at that point, I told her how I felt and that I was sick of only being 2nd to everything and everyone. She stopped talking to me or answering texts, calls, or anything. Basically she ghosted me.
It's not weird at all but it's better if you try connecting with other people
It’s not like super weird BUT you should try to make more friends and put in the effort to connect with more people. It’s healthy for both your personal life and your relationship.
that's so true,, ive been trying to be more connective w people bc i started realizing i do also need a life outside of my partner but im an introvert who also struggles to put themselves out there LOL
Honestly man just put a little more effort in with some of your coworkers. It’s gonna be natural because of work and in a way, you don’t have to do as much work because you’re close. If your work has any events make the effort to go out to them. At the very least it’s just some good practice at putting yourself out there.
thank you fr🙏
reread this post before you clock in next time for that extra lil motivation, you got this homie
🫂
My bf is an introverted guy too, so am I, but I've tried to make more friends over the years and he had lost the only other friend he had. You can keep spending time with coworkers and try to find people with your same hobbies. Do you have any extended family? Like a cousin you could catch up with? I recently reconnected with a few family members and it's been nice, but every family is different.
I’m an introvert who really enjoys, and needs, time to myself. My gf is always bugging me to spend more time with my friends. But I spend so much time with her that, when she’s not around, I really just like to hang out alone. Introverts recharge by spending time alone. Extroverts recharge by being around people. Different strokes for different folks. Not saying that that is your situation though.
Came here to look for this comment. "It's not healthy, if you break up you'll be alone!" Sounds great to me. There is some sort of cultural expectation that people should have a lot of friends and constantly seek companionship. I think it's only a problem if it bothers _you_. Personally, I find the upkeep needed for friendships exhausting, and I'm perfectly content having only a handful of friends (including my partner)
I was always the friend people would be mad at cuz I never initiated hang outs. But I like to write, play music, exercise, practice basketball, clean my house, and do other things at home alone. Like these are activities they bring me immense joy. So hanging out with other people always feels like I’m sacrificing for them. I grew up in a conservative Christian town so I grew away from all of the people I knew and honestly I’ve been way healthier having more time to myself.
> Like these are activities they bring me immense joy. I feel like super extroverted/social people have sometimes hard time understanding how rich, fulfilling and entertaining the inner life of an introvert can be. Same way as I find it difficult to understand how rich, fulfilling and entertaining a very extroverted person's life can be.
When I’m around good people, I enjoy the socialization. But at the same time, I gotta feed my cats and water my plants so I legit cannot be away from home for extended periods of time without planning in advance. I’m not an introvert or an extrovert. But I spent my life building towards an existence that is fulfilling and sustainable for me long term. My mental health sort of requires me to have this stability. People tend to get offended that I won’t change my personal routine just to spend time with them. I have specific times in my life where I have time to spend with people. If that doesn’t match up with your lifestyle, that simply means we aren’t meant to be friends in that capacity. I think technology has really thrown a wrench in healthy relationships. For millions of years, humans and our ancestors were only ever able to socialize with the people we were able to spend time around. With the advent of writing, we were able to stay in touch with people over vast distances and time periods. Once we were able to harness light and electricity, we’ve been able to communicate with people over vast distances but without the vast time differences. Nowadays, we make friends that were were supposed to lose, but because we have social media, we can keep in touch with a ton of people in an online community even if they live on the other side of the world.
A handful of friends is really different than 0 friends though
It's projection. If you can live like that and they can't they feel inferior so there must be something wrong with you because there *normal*.
This right here this the one.
If you manage your life and balance the aspects of it well, i don't think there's anything wrong with this. I've been asking myself the same question. My wife is slowly becoming my only friend, and it just feels completely natural and happy. I was always very popular in school, university and after. Had friends all over the world. Travelled a lot, met a lot of people. I have a lot of friends still online & on social media. But i just don't enjoy socializing with a lot of my local friends. A lot of them are toxic / lack respect, and just used to make me feel bad. I've been phasing them out and I'm MUCH happier. Me & my wife are both active, healthy, enjoy our time together, have our private time that we both respect. We both do our own activities outside. We both work, and have other friendly acquaintances. If one of us does go and socialize, there's no bad atmosphere of any kind. There isn't any jealousy, or negativity, or anything. Everything just works perfectly. We both just don't really "need" other close friends and neither of us really "need" to socialize in larger friendship groups. It may be weird, i don't know. But we are happy.
maybe i should've added that im a girl too LOLL
The advice would be the same regardless of gender, people need a community and other friends besides their significant other.
Babe as a fellow wlw I totally get the desire to be totally wrapped up in your gf but it’s really important to have other people in your life as well. Learned this the hard way when my gf of 7 years broke up with me and I had nothing
thank you,, and i knoww but it gets so hard fr. dw im genuinely trying🙏
Well now my answer changed because I'm a sexist.
Lol
PFFTTHHT
Yeah you probably should’ve
As a serious introvert, it's not weird at all, and it's always been that way for me. I have buds, pals, huntin' fishin' and music buds. But my sweetheart is my only true friend, and she probably always will be my one and only.
Statistically, it's not weird for a man's only real friend to be their romantic partner.
It’s definitely a problem though.
Why
Cuz a relationship won’t be healthy if one person feels like a therapist as well as a partner. If you only have one friend then you only have one person that you’re sharing stuff with. If you’re friends with other family members then it’s fine, but only have one person that you talk to is not sustainable unless you’re good at managing your own issues. Otherwise you’re coming to one person with all of your problems and eventually they’ll get burnt out.
Because humans are social animals and it’s not fair to your partner if you expect them to be everything. People should not be expected to be therapists, friends, lovers, comedians, sounding boards, etc ALL OF THE TIME. I am also not saying women or men either because even though men are more likely to expect their partner to be their only friend, I’ve known plenty of women who expect it of their partners too, and not just hetero couples either. In fact the worse case I ever saw of this was a lesbian couple who were so enmeshed, dependent, and codependent it was terrifying and sad. Also, if you only have your partner, what happens when you have a serious issue or a breakdown and need them but they’re having their own serious issue or breakdown and can’t be what you need them to be in that moment? Humans are not made to pair up and stay solitary within the pairings. Edit: Even extreme introverts with severe social anxiety should have at least a couple people they can talk to.
In my case, it happened slowly and I dropped from my friend group in a bout the same time frame as OP. We got married. My family was a bunch of assholes so within about 5 years I didn’t talk to many of them anymore either. Another 12 years later, I suddenly woke up to the fact that she was a narcissist. She had driven wedges between me and everyone else who cared about me. She was very slick about it too. I lasted another 6 years or so as a prisoner in my own home because I had no way out. I wasn’t wealthy enough to just leave, and I had no support structure. 28 years later, I’m happily divorced and reconnecting with many people. I wasn’t the loner I thought I was, they weren’t the bad people I was convinced they were. OP just has to really be cautious that this isn’t what’s happening to him, it happens to many people. A close friend would be a good spotter for this type of situation.
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Theres no way this is true lol
Lol i'm curious, remember what they wrote?
They said the average man under 29 years old has 0 friends
Thanks for the laugh man. Rectally sourced statistics
No I really wish I had sum like that
But it’s good to go out meet other folks
It happened to me kinda. Like she's basically my only friend is this country. Still I sometimes talk to my old friends in other countries, we never stopped being friends, we just don't talk very often anymore. It's not necessarily weird or rare but it's not great either. But is hard making new friends as an adult. Specially if you used to party and do drugs and you now live a calmer life. Some of my old friends I wouldn't know what we'd do but drink and get fucked up.
Weird? No. But God help you if she ever starts to get bored with you.
It’s not ideal; you should develop some other friendships. Your girlfriend can still be your best friend.
it s not weirds as you re not the only one who only has their partner but it can be sad over time
Didn't even have to read the post just answering from the title. No. My ex wife was my best friend for 12 years so now I have no friends. Fun times
You might have autism - it gets thrown around a lot but assuming you aren’t deeply depressed and unhappy, you may just have a very low social battery and are drained easily. You could also REALLY suck at taking care of your own mental health and just get super drained by everyone and everything because you take no time for yourself. Should probably look into all that - it definitely helped me gauge normalcy better for myself to fully understand myself rather than trying to compare to others.
omg thank you, it really could be just that. but yes, i have been becoming more at peace with myself and finding a way to connect and reach out with others
I'm at least 10x better socially when I'm on propanalol, I have serious social anxiety. I am happiest alone though, and I don't take it if I'm alone.
Not weird but a great way to become co dependent, and that’s just not healthy. Speaking from experience. It’s nice to have more than one friend, people do get tired of each other in the sense of being around them all the time. If you want it to last, I suggest having more than just her as your friend.
I hear this a lot online, so I don't think it's that weird.
Its wierd, are you codependent because of this? What happens if you two break up? Would you cope? Why don't you have any other friends?
Not weird at all. My boyfriend is my only friend besides my immediate family. I have “bar friends” but it’s not the same. I get excited when someone snapchats me which doesn’t happen very often. I have tried to make some female friends, but it never works out for me. I’m still trying though. Someone, someday is gonna match my weird vibe and it’ll be great. (:
i would put effort into making friends and building your own life outside of your relationship as much as you can. It adds so much to your life and helps keep your relationship healthy and sustainable bc you aren’t relying on your partner to fulfill every role in your life. My ex bf and I were together for 2.5 years, broke up earlier this year, and he was left with nearly no support network after the fact which really concerned me. The break up was hard on the both of us but I’m sure even more so for him bc of his lack of meaningful friendships. Even in our relationship he was unhappy bc of the lack of meaningful friendships he had. Everyone needs a well rounded community.
Nope But you already have advice now Also, marceline!
Having more than one friend is always better than having one. But if that's going to be a problem for your girlfriend, then you might have an issue.
This will get you in trouble down the road. You need to live as if you were single
Same here
You both need friends.
Nah. I'm the same, and I don't even have a partner.
I have no friends and I'm single. Yes, it is weird, and yes, i am going to have friends and a gf in the future. Its a weird situation. You live the life you live.
Tell everything you keep inside to a therapist. The only friend is good and all but things can and do change.
Most men nowadays only have their SO as their friend, which makes it that much worse when they break up. Imagine your support group vanishing overnight, and the person you loved the most is not with you anymore. Brutal.
Wait till you have childreb
As others have said it is not heslthy. 3 months who a coworker of mine committed suicide. He was struggling with depression since December, when his wife suddenly died. He had no one else in his life. He was 53 and literally couldn't life without her. Its beautiful in some way, but not if you know hes leaving behind a 21 year old daughter. Dont become completely dependant.
Get more friends. My ex broke up with me 2 months ago and she was basically my only friend. Now I have to suffer alone while she has a giant support network. Please don’t be like me.
Not weird, though you need to consider if you had many friends before her and why they are not around. Some men/women isolate a partner from friends and family, ensuring the partner is totally reliant on them for affection and socializing. That is a dodgy one to extract from.
It is not so much weird as "not healthy" in a way that if your girlfriend ain't around you might be socially/mentally in trouble.
I’m introverted, I enjoy my alone time when my partner isn’t around. But that’s just me.
My bf and I are each other’s best friends. We’re the first ones to tell each other anything new or funny or interesting. We also have other friends for hobbies and sports we each have but don’t enjoy. I don’t like golf, he has friends for that. I like tennis but he doesn’t, so I have my own friends for that. It’s fine to be BFFs but don’t isolate yourself from others.
Not necessarily
no. but do make others so you don't get social burnout
Unusual i'd say. Do you have no hobbies that have a social aspect to them like gaming, sports, music? I understand losing contanct to schoolmates or childhood friends when moving away, but do you do nothing social wether irl or online? i'm an introvert but couldn't live without friends, a partner wouldn't suffice.
I was in the same situation, and quite happy with that. Until she broke up with me and I plummeted into a hole of lonelyness with basically noone to talk to. Try and get some other social connections, even if this is forever, you and she will benefit from it. I think we would have worked out far better if we had not been as codependent as we were.
So, I'm pretty happy having no friends. My wife of 8 years was my only friend, and I'm happier alone. My therapist says that's fine.
Try to find a support network of your own, for both your own sake and your partner’s.
Same here, but the reason might be different. We moved to another town when we moved in together, so I left my friends in the city. Then we got 2 kids before I could really make friends. Now work and family keep me so busy that I don't even have time for hobbies. It will probably get better when the kids are a bit older and don't need attention all the time anymore. Though I'll probably miss that a bit, too. I still got a friend from my childhood that I'm close to, but she lives about 7 hours by car away and also has kids, so we don't see each other that often.
Not if you’re over 30.
Yeah it’s weird. And it’ll crush you when your relationship ends - just speaking statistically here.
Not weird, but it's healthy to have other friends too. Consider: * Reconnecting with old friends (apologize if needed). * Joining clubs/activities to meet new people. Your gf is amazing, but friendships can offer different support!
Personally I wouldn't say it's weird, I couldn't tell you if it's healthy or not though. It's been like 8/9 months now since my bf of almost 7 years broke up with me. I haven't felt the need or want to reconnect with people I lost during that time- coulda gone my whole life just having him as a friend and I'd be happy honestly- even without him it's not like I'm looking around thinking damn now I've got no friends to talk to. Maybe you should maintain or seek out connections outside your relationship but maybe you're not a people person? I don't think I am, and if that's the case is it still codependency? Idk I'm just yapping.
nothing inherently wrong. This is my 2 cents If you manage your life and balance the aspects of it well, i don't think there's anything wrong with this. I've been asking myself the same question. My wife is slowly becoming my only friend, and it just feels completely natural and happy. I was always very popular in school, university and after. Had friends all over the world. Travelled a lot, met a lot of people. I have a lot of friends still online & on social media. But i just don't enjoy socializing with a lot of my local friends. A lot of them are toxic / lack respect, and just used to make me feel bad. I've been phasing them out and I'm MUCH happier. Me & my wife are both active, healthy, enjoy our time together, have our private time that we both respect. We both do our own activities outside. We both work, and have other friendly acquaintances. If one of us does go and socialize, there's no bad atmosphere of any kind. There isn't any jealousy, or negativity, or anything. Everything just works perfectly. We both just don't really "need" other close friends and neither of us really "need" to socialize in larger friendship groups. It may be weird, i don't know. But we are happy.
I did this with my ex and deeply regret it. Make an effort and go do something outside of your relationship so you can meet people.
I don’t know your age but yeah that’s kinda just what happens. I mean it is good to have at least one friend outside your partner just for getting (and giving, no one way streets) a type of support your gf can’t really give. But definitely as far as “best friend” as an adult, I think is actually really good if you’re with a person you plan/hope to spend your life with.
Make more friends. If you guys break up, you are going to be DEPRESSED.
Same as others are saying, not weird or unusual but not the best for you. I moved to a new state to be with my bf and I have no friends now!! I text a couple of my friends back home but it’s not the same and it’s harder than I thought to make new friends as an adult. I’m lucky I found a good job and have wonderful coworkers. I recommend finding a semi-social hobby you can do at least once per week. I tried a board game night at the library a couple times but not sold on that yet. Next is rock climbing. My bf does kickball and pickleball. If you can find an activity that’s recurring with the same group of folks I’m sure you’ll be on your way :)
Yep
Have you seen the movie, “I love you, man?” This is basically the plot. You should give it a watch if not!
Ive been with my gf for 7 years now. Shes the only one i talk to really. Have somewhat of a big immediate family and hardly talk to them. Just see them on birthdays and other get togethers but hardly ever text. Outside of them i dont talk to anyone
My bf (now hubby) and i were like this during covid. But since covid let up, we've gone back to office, got back to meeting friends (countable on one hand)... but even that i think is enough.
I have lots of acquaintances but yeah I'm the same with my partner. I don't think it's a bad thing- there's a reason you've chosen to be with them, right? There's a difference between codependency and just being each other's best friend.
Don’t let her know this thing bro,might backfire someday.
It's relatively common but it's not healthy. First of all, we're social creatures. Your partner cannot compensate for a whole community, even if she was the most amazing person in the world. And she could experience compassion fatigue from trying to compensate for a community because she loves you. Additionally, are you the only person she is friends with?
Wife of 7 years and together 14 years, would be my only friend that whole time lol so nah not just you.
No, it's very common for men. Don't let that be the case, find your own friends and find time to do your own thing. Belive me when I say this, cuz women a couple yrs down the road will not find you enough for them, maybe even bored, so they will either leave you or dump you and you will have nothing. I just experienced this myself and found out that Millions of guys out there are dealing with this shit, men between the ages of 25 -60. .... maybe even younger but relationship fails happen this way at any age...
top comment is right it’s not necessarily as weird as it is precarious. Having no support system outside of your spouse puts you at risk of things like codependency, clinginess, etc. like if you have an issue it could potentially be unfair to your gf that nobody on earth seems to be able to come to your aid but her, and try as they might, that generally becomes difficult for both partners eventually. Community is important because we all deserve attention and support, but that job is usually big enough to be spread across multiple people for multiple instances
My wife is my only friend. I used to have friends but I either cut them off for various reasons, we drifted apart, or they got a girlfriend and wanted to stop being friends with me. She has friends. I still see people I’m friendly with at the bar I go to and I have a hobby but have no friends. It’s okay. I’m fine with it. I’m less outgoing since I’m medicated now. And I love my wife. Just make sure you’re happy about it and it’s not that weird
Yes, that is unhealthy for a man.
I guess it’s for the better like that sometimes 😉 if you got nosey friends that’s not good…you’ll make friends as well I’m sure 😁 don’t worry buddy 😉
Very weird because it really shows a lack of commitment to human connection outside the romantic one where as an adult it requires deliberate effort to make and maintain friendships and a lot of people choose to or unknowingly centre their partner at the cost of their other friendships which tend to leave said person alone and friendless outside of it so yes....
Women call that a red flag.
My soon to be ex wife is bipolar, schizoeffective, and BPD. I learned that isolating you from friends and family is something people with these disorders do. It wasn't until after 7 years and me catching her cheating that when I talked to my family, they had no idea I had an amazing job, a great life, lived comfortably, and had my shit together. When I spoke with an attorney about the pending restraining order case (she stopped taking her meds and the divorce got very very ugly, and still is) I did a shit ton of research on these disorders because I didn't understand what happened, that's when I realized that the isolation is utilized as a form of abuse, among other methods. A fit 6' 225lb tall man was told that he was the victim of domestic abuse (through other means as well) by a 5' 2" 110lb woman. I sat for 5 minutes in silence when it sunk in. I distinctly remember the myriad of emotions that ran through my head at lightning speed. That was 4 months ago. It still fucking kills right now. Yes. Seek company outside of just youR SO. Trust my 100% on this. I'm in a city now, cases pending, with zero family and zero friends. Zero. I can't describe the loneliness friend. I have begun to go back out but frankly bars don't count. You need healthy, trustworthy, GOOD friends to talk to even if it's just to vent, get away, or in case the worst happens. We're social creatures, be social.
It’s not weird but it’s bad
No. It's fine. They would only try and have sex with your girlfriend.
Yes. Please get friends.