T O P
CreampieLuver1

Responses to OP should be focused on responding to their question, not coming up with humorous plays on words.


LongStoryShirt

When my gf cries, we both tend to get more affectionate, vulnerable, and we embrace each other. For me I think it's a physiological response to that rather than the crying specifically.


Capable-Ideal-2233

but do you cry bang? thats the question. all jokes aside i feel you


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CreampieLuver1

This post breaks Rules #1 and #4 and has been removed. Permanent ban.


mike_the_seventh

Must have been a gem


Magiusicgician

Indeed, indeed...


Survivor_Master3000

We missed it…


One_Candle2979

There is indeed a crying kink, but it sounds more like the intimacy of sharing your day and comforting you arouses him.


Basil_zazel

And specifically, crying kink is called dacryphilia, just for if you want to know the name for it.


One_Candle2979

Thanks, I am always happy to learn new stuff.


37Lions

Tears of joy anyone?


One_Candle2979

Any. Tears.


mrcleanup

That said, this also happens to me and it isn't that it makes me horny, I'm still concerned, just with an awkward erection.


Metamorphis

Same thing here sometimes. I think it's tied to the fact that my heart rate going up as I hear someone I care about being in distress has an unfortunate effect. Unfortunately, as blood will have it when more is pumped into my veins, is that more blood also ends up down there. It can easily be misunderstood, haha


Cherveny2

have had this happen as well. wasn't really turned on, just suddenly hard out of the blue when a friend cried. peniss are wierd like that at times


Basil_zazel

Yeah, not saying it is dacryphilia, just saying that that's what the kink is called.


CardamomSparrow

Thank you, this answer is sincere and accurate. I must say that on first glance, this sounds like a very silly joke. Like sadism = dahurtphilia, breeding kink = dapregphilia, crying kink = dacryphilia


throwtheclownaway20

LOL..."da cry philia"


NomenNesci0

Yes, I have this issue. I don't allow too many people into my intimate space and the intimacy is what I like most about sex, more than an orgasm even. So whenever I have a women against my body, vulnerable and crying and I'm sharing in that intimacy I get hard. I feel bad because I'm not thinking about sex really in the moment I'm just very physically aroused and mentally non-sexually aroused. It a very bad time to explain such a thing though and I always feel like she's gonna notice or does notice and thinks I'm just feigning my being in the moment because I'll get sex or my mind is elsewhere.


Competitive-Win-5587

Crying is usually the ultimate sign of vulnerability for men... Seeing women cry, especially someone that they care about, triggers that protective instinct and when that instinct is triggered it causes a rush of testosterone. And then one thing leads to another and there you go. So while yes it could be the crying kink... Could just be that your guy really likes you or loves you.


CriticismNo5920

I can see this. When my ex-situationship would get emotional, cry, or show me his care, I was so in love and wanted to soothe him. Emotions can trigger something interesting in a relationship for sure.


Jackcker

I'd have to agree with you. Me being a male in my 50's I have lost a job in my past and felt extremely bad and I went home to make love to my wife. It wasn't a dominance thing it was more of I needed someone to love me. Your boyfriend just be showing you that he loves you and wants you to feel better and sex is the way he shows it. He's telling you he loves you.


caffeineratt

yep. seconded, i get this.


LadyofDungeons

I'm more inclined hoping it's the later.


Competitive-Win-5587

Everybody has a kink. No judgments here.


StarryPrettyPolly

What are these claims based on? You are talking about the protective instinct as if it has been proven to work in the manner described in your post. Is there any scientific article backing your theory?


flashamazin

Wow I'm learning 🤔💯thanks anyway


MikeRadical

This makes the most sense


DravenFx

Yep, I (30+m) always get a grief boner when my partner (30+f) cries. A lot of the other top comments here have nailed it. I certainly don’t get off on her being upset, quite the contrary actually I don’t want her to be upset and in our case it doesn’t become sexual (I think this could be key - so she knows there is no ulterior motives behind it when it happens). I think it’s the emotional vulnerability and closeness which gets my heart & blood going and causes a totally involuntary reaction. If nothing else, it’s always a good mood lightener for her when she’s upset!


motoryry

I call it a love boner


lis_ek

'Tears spears', someone on Reddit said many years ago.


Twatberriesandcream

A heart-on, if you will


independentjetpack

Affection erection


Vitam1nD

Me too. Completely involuntary and makes me feel quite awkward. Not sexual in any way.


problematicmoth

A grief boner. Love that term


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bot_with_issues

*angry upvote*


Mutexvx

Lmao, this is priceless


elmwoodblues

Close cousin to the Sympathy Fuck, not unheard-of after wakes and funerals. So I've heard


IAmTheLizardQueen666

What was the deleted comment?


elmwoodblues

'Mourning wood', iirc


IAmTheLizardQueen666

Hah, nice pun, thanks. Wonder why it was removed.


elmwoodblues

'Pang of conscience' was my self-satisfying and thoroughly made up reason, but then I'm a bit of a storyteller


leeloolady

It could be the emotional connection - you two are being vulnerable with one another. Erections can happen for lots of reasons and in response to lots of feelings. Ask him how he's feeling when this happens and that will probably help him understand it. Also, this thread is just people sharing personal experiences but it might help y'all explore and understand better. https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/84k4st/happy_boner/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


Tanuki1414

I agree with this. Whenever I talk about something emotional with my gf my hormones seem to increase and often I get hard. I don’t think he enjoys the fact you’re upset.


NoNonsenseHare

I refer to them as 'emotion boners'.


jesusfreak3214

My guy calls it an affection erection lol


One_Candle2979

Emoners


Capable-Ideal-2233

i tell the wife i've got a care on


Nugbuddy

The ol vulner boner. Happens to many men, especially those who highly lack emotional connection, or have a steady one with someone close. Chances are he's not turned on by you crying (although that could be a kink). But rather your vulnerability, and comfort in opening up to/ with him. He's feeling more connected to you in these moments, and his nody is responding in a physical way. If you came running to him bawling do to an injury, I highly doubt he'd be sitting there with an erection.


Droocifer

Mourning wood.


stiick

Heart-on ❤️🪨


Koalaqock

Tear-spear


abyss_peeper

Mourning wood


stiick

That’s a good one. Why did the original commenter delete the “mourning wood” comment?? 🤔


LadyInWriting

It might have nothing to do with you crying but instead the intimacy of the situation. I've had several different partners who would get aroused following a heart to heart conversation. There's just something about the intimacy that works for some.


SprawlWino

Thank god I'm not the only one who has a sexual reaction to this. I was seriously beginning to think I might be a sociopath.


_Ladeedadeeda

😂😂😂😂 I love that that is where your mind went


blxjax

oh no 🥺 you’re no sociopath for this.


Netcob

We usually think crying is bad. Women cry because they are "emotional and weak", and when men cry it's "shameful and not manly". What it really is is a healthy way to regulate your emotions and and usually feels quite cathartic (like sex). You'll usually feel better after crying, and crying together is a very bonding experience (also like sex). As you said, you talk about your problems and stresses and make each other feel better. Your boyfriend's body reacts a certain way when he feels close to you, and the whole situation sounds very intimate already. When someone trusts you and cries in front of you, that takes the intimacy to another level - and intimacy tends to be arousing! If that's the only way you two have emotionally intensive sex then I could imagine that becoming a weird dynamic some way eventually, but if there are other occasions too I wouldn't worry about it.


Take_away_my_drama

My FWB does this. He says it's because he wants to make me happy again and in his brain sex equals happy!


Capable-Ideal-2233

is being this emotional with a fwb a good thing? that kinda just sounds like a relationship! :)


Violet_Thorne_

Healthy friendships include emotional intimacy. FWBs include friendships, and the sexual element is also present. If there were no emotional intimacy I think the term FWB wouldn't be the right one.


Capable-Ideal-2233

i don't think fwb is the right term, maybe im wrong. what would you all say is the difference between a fwb and a relationship?


Violet_Thorne_

When you say "relationship", I'm guessing you are referring to a romantic relationship? For me, any kind of relationship I'm in with another human would be defined by ongoing agreements between the two people involved around where each of our desires, needs, and limits align. So to answer your question the difference between friends with benefits("benefits" meaning Sex), and a romantic relationship would be romance. Romance can mean many things for different individuals. Also not all romantic relationships include a sexual dynamic.


Capable-Ideal-2233

yeah sounds incredibly blurry, fwb seems like it takes more upkeep than a standard relationship and for what, a shag? intimacy and romance makes sex so much better, more often than not its two people depriving each other of a real romantic relationship that they could be having with someone that actually wants them


FrayKento

There was scientific studies that showed that the way men can effectivly reduce stress with women (or emotional destress) is through physical touch/sex. Women to women is by active listenning. So i'm guessing your boyfriend is just having the best biological (evolutionary) response :D


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FrayKento

I know... And i need a girlfriend! XD


hebr1035

It’s called intimacy, apparently according to some of the comments on here it’s a rarity in most relationships


stiick

Intimacy is a rarity? It getting an erection when your partner cries is a rarity?


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Ember_Vortex

I’m so glad I came across this cos I’ve noticed the same thing with mine 😅 When I’ve brought it up to him he’s always like “it’s not me getting turned on cos you’re upset, it’s just when we’re cuddling and you’re crying it’s really intimate and it just happens”


stay_or_go_69

Crying women alway get me totally hard. I don't even think it's a kink. It feels like a physiological reaction. There was another thread about this a while back where a guy commented about getting hard when his female friend was hugging him and crying at a relative's funeral, or something like that. I had a kind of dead bedroom situation with my ex for a while and we would argue about it, then she would cry, and then we would have sex.


One_Candle2979

For me it's a kink, but I can see how it would happen in deeply intimate situations.


lambo_abdelfattah

I wish I could explain it better, but I get hard whenever I see my girl do anything lol Crying, throwing up, shittin guess I'm infatuated


_Ladeedadeeda

😂😂😂😂 I love this


Squirrel2020

Probably less of a kink and more about emotional vulnerability, maybe he feels like he’s comforting/protecting you and that is the turn on. The fact that you go to him when you have a problem means you trust him, and that makes him feel a close connection.


th3cfitz1

I don't think it sounds like a kink. It might just be that being close to you physically and being emotionally vulnerable gets him going. The exact thing always happens to me.


TheGravyMaster

My bf too. But I think it's because he holds me close pressing my body against his


Pastakingfifth

I get something similar, it's like a damsel in distress alert. Your princess needs you to rescue her and hold her and help her forget about her sorrows type of thing. Definitely an easy recipe for sexy times.


wifelifebelike

Apparently it's called an empathy boner.


Vin--Venture

It’s a form of arousal non concordance: https://www.embracesexualwellness.com/esw-blog/arousalnonconcordance It could also be that crying is a form of vulnerability and that helps him feel more connected to you.


MasterOfKittens3K

I think it’s likely just a hormonal response to your crying, but not directly. It’s more that the vulnerability that you are showing, and his protective instincts, are getting his hormones running. I’ve experienced similar situations with my wife, and it’s definitely not the crying turning me on. I’m not even turned on at first, although it can turn into that if we let it. As long as you’re both comfortable with whatever you do, it’s fine.


GamerFan2012

It sounds more like he's wanting to be caring and protective when you are vulnerable. In doing so his body reacts lovingly. I've gotten hard while holding my girl when she is crying. It kind of just happens from the emotional connection.


Funtell1

This is completely normal for many people to get aroused when showing empathy. Empathy is controlled by a part of the brain called Hypothalamus. This is responsible for empathy and oddly sexual stimulation . I wouldn’t even give a second thought his response to you crying.


tokyoaro

Unrelated to your post but when your job effects your home life it’s probably time to leave. No job should ever do that to anyone. It’s happened to me on several occasions and It’s such a horrible feeling.


Alternative-Eye4547

I feel like you’re throwing some intense absolutes around (eg, *no job*, *ever*, *anyone*). Some jobs involve periods of atypical stress (like being a hospital nurse amid Covid surge, or a nursing home caretaker when multiple deaths happen close to each other, or tons of other temporarily stressful work contexts) but the positives generally outweigh the negatives. When that atypical stress arises, that doesn’t just mean it’s time to walk away - it means it’s time to reflect and consider the cost benefits, which it sounds like OP and SO are doing. At some points, it is indeed better to just leave (ahem, Twitter at present) but other times work, even in jobs that people passionately love, can be stressful and that stress sometimes follows a person home. Edit: typo


madammurdrum

Well said 👍


anon018274031

Lots of job are emotional and therefore you carry it home. You would have to be a complete psycho not to. Often the most emotional jobs are the most rewarding though and it is just a part of the job (doctors, nurses, carers, social work, teaching, therapist/counsellor, certain areas of law, specific police investigative areas e.g. domestic abuse/SA) You just have to be honest with people you date that this is a part of being in a relationship with you, and find healthy ways to unwind quickly at home (sometimes that’s allowing yourself 10mins to rant when you get in, sometimes that’s a cuddle and cry)


AwkwardEducation

This is a normal physiological reaction and **probably** entirely nonsexual.


GuiltyFilthyGuitBox

This is what we call an affection-erection...dude cares so much it makes his dick hard.


L_750z

I used to be like that with my ex too. Her crying was so attractive to me. It’s nothing unusual


Forty-five4545

Just intimacy. You have a good man.


mrbellyman

Mirroring the comments, I think it is just about how open you are being with him and the fact that you being emotionally open makes you more and more attractive to him -- and thus the gab is bridged between emotional and sexual :) Actually, I think the idea of emotional horniness is really cool and can almost be considered a little rare, so in my opinion, I would say take it as a compliment.


ronearc

Vulnerability can be a powerful aphrodisiac. Often that's nothing to do with the tears and the obvious display of painful emotion, but it's more to do with the display of vulnerability which is often an indicator of trust and acceptance. But obviously, I don't know y'all, and those aren't the only reasons someone would physically react in that manner. But regardless the root cause, fetishes are something few people choose and fewer people can opt out of. Edit: I accidentally a word.


comacove

"We're both a bit surprised by it" lol


sugoiboy1

I can’t speak for the bf but a few of these comments I think are on the money. Sometimes I get an erection at an inappropriate time mostly from hugging my gf. Or touching her hand.


Melcolloien

My husband is like this and it's the intimacy for him. But I joke that he is a weirdo that gets off of my sadness...


_Ladeedadeeda

He must REALLY love you is my determination from that. I think it's a sign of great emotional intimacy between the two of you, or from him toward you. And manifest sexually. That's all. I think it's sweet.


LoveIsTheAnswer-

OP. As men when a woman is crying and seeks comfort in our arms, it makes us feel masculine. Her protector. I think the idea is, "I'll protect you. Make you safe. I love you. I am your man. Make baby." Its 100% caveman. If it were kink, you'd know already because he'd have brought zip lock bag of diced onions to bed. And have an obsession with gagging oral sex which produce tears. Right? And he doesn't otherwise you wouldnt be confused. He doesn't find your pain sexy. Its like a woman's impulse to make love to her man if he gets his ass kicked exceptionally hard by work or life and she knows he needs love, belonging, and to remember life has sweetness to it. That's all it is.


deeronmylawn

You also hug him when you cry? Fall on his shoulder hard? Tight? That can be the reason.


Togarami

It could be that he likes the aesthetics of crying? For example I find most people who cry rather cute. I don't feel bad or good, though. He could like it because of a fetish, too.


TheTugasPT

Hi I don't know if someone replied similar... Is he an emotional individual? If so, it means that you are showing vulnerability. Crying on purpose is manipulative, but crying when you feel overwhelmed, and let him see that tender side of you (which you don't show to everybody) it feels authentic and unique for him.


YesMissJay-YMJ

Totally normal. If he starts making you cry on purpose (without consent) just to get turned on then that’s a different issue.


RepresentativeSir881

When you bond like this after crying (being vulnerable) are you also interested in having sex with your boyfriend? I realise it’s a very personal question so you may not be comfortable sharing - any other women feel comfortable sharing their experiences? I’m (M) curious about my own situation? And does the sex after being very upset lead to contentment and closeness?


dirtychinchilla

You might be surprised how hard erections are to control. They can happen at the worst times and they can be very difficult to get rid of. I’ve certainly had this experience, where I got hard when my wife was crying. I guess it’s something to do with being close at that time. I’ve never felt turned on by her crying personally so it can even be embarrassing


fairysimile

it’s bc of vulnerability and emotional connection. it’s ok, as long as he doesn’t *make* you cry!


CottonSpectacles

Erections don't just happen when men are aroused. It happens when muscles relax around the blood vessels leading to the penis. Men get hard when sleeping because those muscles relax. It may be that he's feeling relaxed because you're opening yourself to him.


atxhater

Vulnerability is very sexy in women.


Hutchydog413

Emotional Support Boner!! I get them all them time if I'm comforting someone I care deeply about. Not a sexual thing at all its just a positive emotion thing A lot of men are very emotionally stunted due to patriarchy and toxic masculinity so showing positive affection in a comforting way towards someone you care about sometimes has the result of getting an erection.


Firm-Emotion

No it’s not a crying kink. Sadly, this might be a very affectionate moment, one spent where you are confiding in him and expressing your true authentic feelings. It doesn’t even necessarily mean he wants sex. An erection simply corresponds to moments of joy and the pathways that correlate to sex are very similar. From a neurological level I don’t think it’s synonymous with a “kink” but do you feel he’s not genuine, grooming, invasively taking advantage of the situation then I would be worried.


drews88

Honestly it probably him thinking she is stressed and I know how I can fix that for her just by fucking her brains out


aheadwarp9

I'd point the finger to a stronger emotional bond way before a "kink" Crying in front of your partner is making yourself vulnerable, which shows a deep level of trust. Trust is very sexy!


Loose_Truck_9573

Maybe he is aroused by the level of emotional intimacy you both share? Before calling kinks out loud. He is just deeply in love with you


colruytXD

Affection erection


[deleted]

😳


FromTheThumb

It's possibly a Pavlov's Bell thing. You're sad, we talk it out, you cry, we have sex. Crying comes right before sex. (ready the troop carrier.)


puppymedic

I mean, let's look at the evidence: 1. In bed -physically close and intimate 2. End of the day, so probably pajamas - comfy clothes and/or scantily clad 3. Emotionally/mentally drained - therefore more likely to be seeking relief and/or being impulsive out of a desire to relieve stress 4. You're probably seeking comfort - more intimacy, like hugs, kisses, petting, etc. All things that increase physical arousal 5. Association - you've been crying, then having sex. Psychologically speaking, you can pair some circumstances with sex and they'll associate together. Classical conditioning.


frank_mania

Yeah, #5 is not to be overlooked. If the first boner was a lark (rather than the guy gets wood from seeing tears as a rule), it won't be a lark any more, not while in bed at least.


SubstantialJury7020

Maybe he's a sadist.


InnocentPerv93

Tbh I think it's a little disturbing imo. He shouldn't be getting horny from you getting stressed out in life, he should comfort you without getting horny. It sounds like he's taking advantage of your vulnerability.


glandmilker

If he is hugging you or other such thing THAT could be the hardon maker not the cry


fluffyfeatherz

that's called dacryphilia!


ApartAd1437

Here’s the deal when ur crying he senses you’re vulnerable and therefore the thought of vulnerable sex enters his head and bam instant hard on


Reeserrt

Could it be that it's not your crying turning him on? It's the thought that since you are stressed out and crying you will want to fuck


KinkyStonerVibes

I am not alone!!! Was always kinda sweet... Like "aww, I've been crying but you are happy that we're going to make up now... Damn - sounds like some negative reinforcement....


Kerfernk

sex after crying is comforting for me


Decent-Document-4921

Seems more like an intimacy thing. You opening up to him confirms how close you two are emotionally


MacDaddyV2

emotion = responce


TheOnlyContra1

Not exactly the same but similar, arguments with my sigfig tend to give me an erection. It’s so strange because i can be absolutely pissed but still be rocked.


hdtvv

There is now!


eveyyyx3

I don’t think it’s a kink I think maybe he feels special to be close to u and tht ur vulnerable with him so he gets hard about it and than u guys fuck


GainPuzzleheaded4172

The guy I like loves it when I send after crying selfies because it illuminates my eyes 🤷‍♀️


Lewis-Bee99

I literally always get a boner after my girlfriend has finished crying it’s so strange idk why it happens but I can assure you it can happen completely uncontrollably, she thinks it’s weird too and I wish it wouldn’t happen but it’s not like I do it on purpose, don’t be too hard on him he’s probably in the same boat


ccl62293

Everytime I cry or get upset and talk to my husband it usually leads to sex. We don’t know why. It does make me feel better though! 🤣


MarjoryKeek

Could be that intimacy and seeing you be vulnerable gets him horny. Pretty common.


reddrella

As a female, I can definitely say I have a crying kink because it turns me on that a man is there to make me feel safe


jugalator

It's in fact a thing and it's called dacryphilia.


Unresponsiveskeleton

People are saying crying kink but I think it's his own stress reaction.


R_A_H

I (married 35M) have experienced this with my wife. In my case, it's not a crying or tears kink. It's the closeness, intimacy and the emotional purity of it. Those qualities of our interactions at times like that have some overlap with other interactions which were actually about physical intimacy and sex. So concluded that, for myself, the similarities between those types of moments can incite certain feelings that have associations with sexual intimacy.


lumiere02

I have it the other way, when I'm truly pissed off and cry, even more if he's the cause of it, we talk then without fail end up having sex. It's happened a few times for it to be a pattern and everytime afterward he's like, _was that okay? Are you okay? I didn't want to take advantage but you were all over me, so clearly you're fine, right?_ Yes, I started it, I'm fine lol. It's the emotional connexion of having had the conversation and reconciliation, me wanting to move on and needing the closeness, reassurance. Being sad doesn't make me horny though. So I would bet the reverse is true for your boyfriend.


DocRocksPhDont

No it's probably because he is nurturing you and holding you and loving in it and that makes you hard, not the crying.


Jim-Dread

There MUST be, but I think it's what others have said and it's the intimacy. I have a friend that's a girl. There have been times when she is talking to me about personal stuff and I'm doing my best to be helpful, and I notice I've gotten an erection. It doesn't mean I want to have SEX with her, men are just hard wired simple. Emotions go crazy. Erections happen.


reddits-

I'd be careful not to get upset by it because if you start crying every time he gets hard then you'll both get stuck in an infinite feedback loop. Seriously though, it's very normal and usually an indicator that he is aroused by the fact that you're freely showing vulnerability.


Adventurous-Wash3201

SAME THING FOR MY BOYFRIEND. He’s not even horny, it’s just a physiological reaction he gets. We laugh about it all the time. It’s funny.


Cultural-Storm100

I have read about a recent study, validating this. I believe it has something to do with the testosterone levels rising as some sort of "protective instinct". So not necessarily a kink, but a biological reaction.


juicykola

i’m the opposite


[deleted]

Jajajaj sexy cryer


originalwoodster

So, this is pretty common. One thing I'd suggest is, make sure the comforting doesn't lead to sex. Unless it's what you both want. When I'm comforting my wife in times of distress or upset, I too can find myself getting erect, however, it's not arousal. Someone on Reddit posted something similar many years ago, and called it a "heart on" meaning that their love for their partner was making them hard, and I've adopted that term also


crazycritter87

I noticed a couple years ago that I have the same reaction and for me it is an intimate feeling to be comforting for another in distress. Wether you want to spin it as a fetish or how your partners brain happens to handle the situation.... some sadist get off on tear of pain, other men get aroused over being supportive, hell I know men that get hard over avoiding their family and mailing a check home. It does sound like your is just wired to bring emotional support for sex. It's always conditional in some way because the majority need some sort of "romancing" to engauge.


TotesAnNSFWAccount

Don't stress it. It's just a sympathy boner.


specialspecial222

That’s definitely a first


SnoopyOrganizer

Sounds like he has dacryphilia


Khalian_

Bruh happens to me too idk why tho. Something about the vulnerability and affection while crying is nice.


KnightShifter17

Dacryphilia


Jess-C-on-Reddit

It might not be about the crying... maybe it's about feeling close, that you're able to be so open and vulnerable with him?


Shadowdragon409

It's called Dacryphilia. The sexual attraction to tears/crying. I have it too. I see crying as an intense emotional response, and it's the emotional response that gets me going, not the act of crying itself. It isn't like I get turned on from someone's suffering lol.


LongDickPeter

This happens to me as well, I have no idea why, it is a bit uncomfortable, and obviously that moment so far hasnt been the right moment to use it. I have no control over it and everytime it happens I feel wierded out.


Plastic_Ad_5473

I get this. I would definitely call it an emotional bonding moment and Men as a rule aren't very good crying or handling crying.


fappyday

A friend of mine confessed to me that he had a similar situation. He was hanging out with this girl, kinda trying to see if something sexual was developing. She did some cocaine and started ranting about her father, then broke down crying. He said he tried to comfort her, but ended up in an awkward situation because her crying triggered an erection + overwhelming sex brain. They did not hook up. He said he feels guilty but can't control it either. I don't get it, but it's a very real thing for some guys apparently. I have never known anyone else with this situation. I don't know if it's a kink or some kind of involuntary caveman brain reaction.


bullseyex2112

It probably isn’t a kink so much as the intimacy and affection that you both share when you cry and bear your emotions.


douglasrome

If he’s relaxed and vulnerable w/you, feeling intimate the blood will flow. Sometimes my wife holds my hand and…y’know *boing*


PM_ME_YOUR_PLECTRUMS

If this keeps happening, he will become conditioned to have a boner every time you cry. It is not bad per se, just a comment.


Ravenous21

I’m a guy and this happens to me involuntarily when my partner cries. I think it’s because of the emotions being expressed. Has nothing to do with wanting to initiate though.


jjlastly

So i don't know if there's a crying thing or not but I know as a guy sometimes those boners come when you don't want or expect them. But it's good to have sex when you're stressed so I'd keep that up.


Conrodbob

It’s less about the crying and more about the intimacy. It’s probably not about the crying at all. It’s just the fact that you’re so close and holding each other. Perhaps it’s because the tears give him a feeling of deep personal sharing.


xXxBluESkiTtlExXx

I have had this happen before with former women of my life. Based on my googling it seems the most likely explanation is the "damsel in distress" scenario.


pornographometer

I thought it was some weird nonsense but then it happened to me. The other posts explanations make sense to me as to why this phenomenon can occur.


St0ned__

Every time when I was in a toxic relationship and I would cry about how bad he would treat me and how much I deserved better he would rip my clothes off I would feel so disgusted with myself after. Maybe things are different in non-toxic relationships but this is my experience.


sleepyelephantcow

Dacryphilia


billbar

OH MAN so happy to see this (although sorry it feels weird!). I'm a guy. I get hard pretty much every time a girl of mine cries. I fucking hate it, but it happens, every time. I have no idea why it happens, and I can say with certainty I don't have a 'crying kink.' It just happens. I assume it has something to do with one of two things (or both): 1) loving that the girl feels comfortable being vulnerable around me, and/or 2) the idea of being a 'savior' (which is not a kink for me either, I'm a pretty progressive gender role type of guy). Again, I don't like it, and frankly it makes me feel pretty fucking guilty, but something about knowing I'm the person she confides in (I think?) gets me going. Don't stress about it. It happens.


Monarc73

Tears contain pheromones. These can sometimes provoke 1 of 2 responses. Sexual arousal, (as you're learning) and physical aggression. (This is why some abusive AHs get WORSE when their victims cry.) It's not a big deal, you guys are just slaves to your love!


WreckChris

This happens to me every now and again when my girlfriend and I argue. There's a lot of emotions swirling, and see my girlfriend crying and being vulnerable makes me want to comfort her. At least that's how I understand it anyway. It can be incredibly frustrating when we are both trying to focus on the issue at hand.


Dragonswim

He has and emotional boner.


xXindiePressantXx

Just using the context of what you’re saying, I don’t really think this is a kink in your situation. I’ve read that men call this an “intimacy boner” and it’s the body’s automatic response to intimacy, a vulnerable moment. My husband and I had sex the day my dad died, in between my bits of sobbing and dissociation. It was not very….sexual??? If that makes sense. It was just like we both needed that moment.


Yoyobana

Maybe crying can make your bf more protective, then 🤔


platicburgery

There was one episode on 'Whitney' about this


horsetrainoctopus

Pavlov's sob


Riversntallbuildings

He’s not the only one. It’s something that happened to me as well and I *hated* it. I swear I blamed so many years of my dysfunctional relationships dragging on because I couldn’t help it. To this day I hate make up sex. I won’t do it.


TJ0788

Sounds like an emotional response…whenever you cry it makes his penis wanna cry as well.


Lisforlatte

Maybe the sharing allows him to feel especially intimate and that arouses him. I would just talk about it non-judgementally.


blue_g1rl

I've never heard of this before but after reading some of the comments that actually sounds pretty sweet and wholesome. Does it make you feel better when you have sex in those moments?


lsrvlrms

Are you meeeee???? (Except for me it’s my husband) I will never forget he got hard/horny when i cried because all my nice clothes no longer fit me and i had nothing to wear to school. We had sex and i just gave up on going to school that day. I used to feel weird about this but now I’m used to it.


Specialist-Gur

Nearly every boyfriend I’ve had has gotten hard when I cry. I think it might be the intimacy? Though for some I’m sure it’s a crying link