T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Whilst you're here, /u/ahmed868, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU) - **now with public text channels you can chat on!**? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Sabatiel_

Nope, every month's gonna be NNN from now on.


T_squared112

That's even worse, they'd start to build up and start moving around in your balls.


Taiyaki-Daisuki

They gonna eat all the micro plastics in your balls tho


KeshDown

Well at least that's something good


Radiant-Criticism721

Until your kid comes out with a CocaCola logo on its forehead


googleHelicopterman

He'll be born with tourette syndrome randomly shouting slogans


AutoModerator

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


ironfist221

You mean to say my little swimmers down there playing with legos before I even let them loose?


eef_q

šŸ˜¦


IEnjoyBaconCheese

šŸ„“


Rayan_qc

kill me now


Evening_Tower

No, the sperm will eventually travel up your spine and suck all the bone marrow, then you'll die


TuxedoDogs9

Later


Rayan_qc

*closes the fridge door to tend to heavy again*


FungalFactory

That's it! Take this man to the penis explosion room!


Tyty1470

I could have lived my whole life without that thought but you just had to ruin it


Ok_Signal6468

šŸ¤®šŸ¤®šŸ¤®


TheUsualSuspects443

But thatā€™s where the pee is stored!


Lazy-Jackfruit-9052

They swim around in the pee


Joppul

You didn't need to say that


Reason-Desperate

Some one please twist his nuts counter clock wise


Sabatiel_

Shutupshutupshutupshutup


PM_ME_UR_FAV_NHENTAI

If you put your cheek up to it you can feel them kick :D


Scary_the_Spider

Please never TALK again šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­


Mr_Minecrafter88

ā˜¹ļø


Metson-202

āœ‚ļøāš½āš½


lesterbottomley

If god existed and was truly against masturbation, this is how he'd have built us.


SodaCake2

Wait.. are your guys' sperm smaller?


Difficult_General167

The ones with eyes are usually smaller.


Infamous-Class-7862

Iā€™m sorry. Yalls donā€™t have limbs?


MohSad2

What? Yours don't go to school?


villani

Wait... do you guys have sperm?


Unendlich999

Wait... y'all guys?


GundamMK-V

Y'all are living organisms? :0


Privet1009

Y'all are made of matter? 0_0


schloongslayer69

Y'all are concepts?


filpsid

yā€™all exist?


AnimeMemeLord1

Yā€™all can be comprehended?


Observer10568

Y'all can be theorised?


AddiDoesRandomPosts

Y'all can conceptually exist?


Just_A_Random_Plant

Y'all?


Boris-the-soviet-spy

All?


eef_q

?


noiceboy6979

.


Time_Blacksmith861

Finally someone normal like me


14high

Only when it shrinks when cold


One-Broccoli-5772

I miss the person I was 5 seconds ago :(


Kinky-Katy

Gives a new perspective to swallowing šŸ«£ feeling that thing jiggling about in your tummy


aconitumrn

You could feed the hungry with this. Cooked ofc


PapaShlongo

You don't know for sure that it needs cooking.


Tiger4k

surely it doesnā€™t, itā€™ll lose all of its nutrients


bitterbuffaloheart

Bruh, itā€™s ok. Just eat lots of pineapple


My_Ex_Got_Fat

don't look up the weird sperm pokemon incinerator showerthought then.


hodges2

I'm sorry, the *what*??


My_Ex_Got_Fat

Someone posted a showerthought on "What if you ejaculated a giant semen monster instead of a buncha tiny ones"(paraphrased it's been many years lol) and it devolved into a whole argument that were many walls of text long about the intricacies of how the monsters would be based off the person's genes and how there would be an incinerator in every home to finish into and how people would use them to replace chickens in cock fights.


FlexViper

Imagine gf choking and dying to this thing


Ok_Signal6468

You see its tail wiggling out of her mouth.


FlexViper

Now imagine it swimming in her tummy before the acid completely digest it


WashYourEyesTwice

Now imagine shutting the fuck up


brandodg

she would need fork and knife to eat this shit šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­


Remotely_Correct

Isn't this the plot of the movie "Slither"?


Xen0kid

Well I know what Iā€™m watching tonight


Remotely_Correct

I mean it's got Nathan Fillion, it's one of my favorite favorite horror / humor movies.


Apprehensive_Battle4

Who even thinks about shit like this


DepartmentOk9720

We all did, just now


C0WM4N

Wet dream and you wake up with this snuggled in your arms


-Alvrain-

Officer this comment right here


Attack-Helicopter_04

Make me blindĀ 


Purrnir

Make me see more


AkronOhAnon

Attacks you like a face hugger.


naufalap

hmm self impregnation


notapartofthefandom

GET THIS THING OFF ME!


Icy_Barnacle_6759

Itā€™s purring like a cat


AlienWithPhone

Weirdest and most fascinating comment Iā€™ve read all week. Thank you, I guess?


Bleboat

I think Iā€™m gonna pass out


quietconnoisseur

Imagine having to stomp that shit and clean its dead carcass off the floor every time you jerked off.


ChocIceAndChip

Alternatively youā€™ve got a free fish


NubAutist

Writing that ought to be a crime.


Blackrain1299

Hey if your partner can swallow then so can you.


engineer-cabbage

Make sure to add the MSG. Bitches love MSG


MintChucclatechip

Imagine all the dried up dead ones under beds


OLIKN0

it would cost you NOTHING to not say that


No-Obligation7435

I'd probably changed my name to Kaitlin, before Caitlin


tokuyan_

If it was like this I would get my prostate removed.


Remotely_Correct

Why the prostate? Get the testicles removed, your prostate can still make you feel good.


birdgelapple

Itā€™s better to cum in the sink than to sink in the cum šŸ˜”


Icy_Barnacle_6759

Itā€™s all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits šŸ˜”


lylactal

what a terrible day to be literate


Apollo11211

trumpkanyewellthatwasquitesomething.wav


AeroLouis

I don't have to spend money to buy fishes for my aquarium then.


Ernisx

Semenarium


citymousecountyhouse

I would imagine that would be very efficient at eating the egg to grow into a baby.


Frongie

ā˜¹ļø what have I set my eyes upon


prabhavdab

You would be so fucking traumatised at age 12


Inforenv_

> 3am >Can't sleep >Opens reddit >Sees this >Now i will think about this and my brain will start imagining the most disgusting escenarios possible all night Yea


ahmed868

Glad I could implant something in your memories


COArSe_D1RTxxx

You can implant something else in me tonight ;3


soiminreddit

W rizz


BruhLordXXD

I have a great imagination but sometimes i stumble upon something that makes me want to brainwash myself


Stargost_

I have never envied blind people so much.


RedGreenBlueRGB_

There would definitely be a lot less masturbating And a group of people would probably keep them as pets like fish


Several-Difference77

Stop it Satan... Im scared


LawfulDmcBoo

Never cook again


Sad_Notice4952

Imagine edging,you have that thing half poking out.of your peen and its tail squirming around inside ur urethra and balls šŸ¤Ŗ


hotmomenjoyer

I hope your penis and testicles are removed for that vile literature you forced upon the world


Sad_Notice4952

Yo imagine if you castrate someone and a bunch of those mega sperm plop out of the ballsack like a containment breach


agent1290

Mod, execute this man


Sad_Notice4952

And lose the chance to grangle on my giga sperm?


cumofdutyblackcocks3

Imagine if the giga sperm pops out of your peen after you die and grows limbs and other body parts and you get a newborn after a duration of 9 months which is your child. It would be poetic as it symbolises caterpillar turning into a butterfly. Bravo Vince.


Necromancer14

Imagine getting head and then ejaculating this thing into your gfā€™s mouth and she feels it wiggling in her mouth as she swallows it down.


Kind_Leopard_1048

Error 404 gf not found


FlexViper

What if it's your lucky day and there's 2 of them


Sad_Notice4952

One of them going up my pooper


_Lucifer7699_

TWINS


PURPLEisMYgender

Imagine being a woman and getting nutted in. You can feel it wiggling around inside you like a worm in dirt.


Frongie

ā˜¹ļø I simply would perish inside


luneywoons

wdym? I'm a woman and this is normal.


Pedestr

Imagine if there are around a dozen of them swimming in your sack at all times ready to be ejected.


SkeetnYou

We would be weighing these bitches like fish! Comparing and insulting each other.


therealtb404

On the bright side we would all have 20 cm dongs as wide as a coke can


Ok_Signal6468

No, that's how big it gets when you ejaculate. šŸ˜”


therealtb404

So it's magically the same size when it's in the balls with pee?


git0ffmylawnm8

Male masturbation drops to 0


Goddayum_man_69

Koreans would probably eat it


marcmerrillofficial

well if its safe for ur mom its safe for koreans


NotAnFbiAgent-hehe

This sperm absorbs the egg


bannapants67

Being a vet would suck


that_1weed

Some thoughts should stay in your head. Hope this helps āœŒļø


AnimeMemeLord1

Okay, but what the fuck is that?


Mister_Potamus

Why is it always the last post of the night?


FriskyTurtle

The same reason your keys are in the last place you look: you stop looking after that.


1984Literally1984

Iā€™m never eating elbow Marconi with butter again


ElegantEagle13

What a terrible day to have eyes.


MaleficentBuffalo578

And it screeched when you killed it


Icy-Assignment-5579

Toilet. Flush. Salute. Fare thee well!


thanhcutun

If this was real the horror women would go through for a child is gonna be crazy


Lumpy_Cartoonist9495

This guy should have his speaking privileges revoked


Le_inky_creator_20

"Stop it, get some help"


Cosmic-Buccaneer

:|


veselin465

If that was the case, would there be no twins, triplets, etc?


ahmed868

That's actually a good question,but the answer is obvious,there will be only identical twins in that case.


Ok_Signal6468

For there to be twins, the sperm would have to violently tear itself apart. That's a rare occasion of corse.


mightypup1974

Spworm


Squippit

I just watched that Smartypants


Viola_Violetta

You can already do this, just charge up


Over67

I bet it would be delicacy in china


AmericaMadeMySonFat

Giant Sperm


Dr__Devil

Thanks for clarifying


Avocado_with_horns

Thats the "plot" of an XRA episode. Squatopia


toastynotroasty

This has been discussed extensively (look up on YouTube, "i have not laughed this hard for a very long time", can't post the link unfortunately)


Cc99910

Saw that video just the other day, p sure whoever made this meme just stole the joke from that


_V4NQU15H_

Poor man's pasta


Kadithepro

I'd make an army of these disgusting cunts


WhosThatDogMrPB

Buckshot.


magmion2310

you could make a business out of these things


_Lucifer7699_

Don't elaborate


ahmed868

Elaborate?


Dibaded

Jesus I don't think masturbating will ever be the same


Scary_the_Spider

Please for the love of god, why do people in this reply section write all of this, theyā€™re actually sick


Used-Fisherman9970

Iā€™d put it in my ass to feel it moveā€¦


Uniform_Restorer

What a terrible day to have eyes.


kryotheory

The spworm!


calibrik

Imagine cumming inside someone, and they would feel how sperm squirming in them


MintChucclatechip

Imagine youā€™re trying to get pregnant and it falls out so you have to catch it and put it back in


calibrik

That's what women do with dicks usually


Different_Action_360

I think if this was true Iā€™d literally just have a heart attack and Iā€™m not even a guy.


Th3Docter

What a terrible day to have eyes


GeniosYT

What a terrible day to have eyes


SquidVices

Thatā€™s like a mini dickā€¦coming out of your dickā€¦. Needling anybody?


Apprehensive_Battle4

Woke up in the morning I got murder on my mind.


sid741445

What a bad day to have eyes


ArtOfDetroit

:(


ChaoticKonaak

It is too early in the morning for me to see this.


keenumsbigballs

Nah, I'd keep mine in a fish tank and raise them...


_Scorpyon_

When you add Defender's Crest to Flukenest


Financial-Aspect-826

What a terrible day to have eyes. What a terrible day to be literate.


Arlen56

i hate all of you


Copranicus

On the one hand, eww... On the other, you know it would be considered "normal" and there's no doubt in my mind it'd be fetishised to hell and back.


toille7

Omg I canā€™t. Hhahahhaha


AliRixvi

Spworm: All Pulp, No Juice


Mylesz3

Imagine receiving a facial from that thing, you would see how the penis inflates from the base little by little to the tip Looney tunes style


mrschanandlerbonggg

If I don't kill it what's gonna happen ? It's gonna magically grow?


-EV3RYTHING-

QXrjZoyXpEE?si=bx4M9cvjeM5pULk1 Relevant, paste in youtube link because this sub doesn't like yt links but I can't not share the video


BornVictory5160

I always think about what if everytime you busted a nut it sounded like a balloon popping? šŸ¤£šŸ’€think about how crazy that would be


Tristanime

"I just repopulated my pants"


AlienWithPhone

How would this thing come out of the pee hole?


Odd_Monk_6731

ā˜¹ļø