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slowly massage the vag, then rub the clitoris ever so gently. Proceed to stick a single finger in the vagina. continue adding your fingers until your whole fist is in. slide your arm slowly into her, once you reach your shoulder limbo in with your head, and forcibly insert your other arm, torso, and legs. You are now free to control her. when you feel the job is done, finish by giving birth to yourself
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slowly massage the vag, then rub the clitoris ever so gently. Proceed to stick a single finger in the vagina. continue adding your fingers until your whole fist is in. slide your arm slowly into her, once you reach your shoulder limbo in with your head, and forcibly insert your other arm, torso, and legs. You are now free to control her. when you feel the job is done, finish by giving birth to yourself
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I (f34) am pregnant with twin boys and my husband (m34) told me that he was dead set on naming our sons "notch" and "jeb" I know most of you are probably unaware, but these are the names of two of the people who created minecraft. My husband is a big minecraft fan and builds stuff on the game a lot and has minecraft posters, he even said he wants to play minecraft with his Sons. I told my husband that I want to give our children regular names, not after minecraft because they are not objects, and my husband got really defensive about it saying that he should be able to choose because he is their father and I never gave any name suggestions. I will never name my children after minecraft because I don't want them to get bullied and feel like it's dehumanizing to name them after a game. I told my husband that I'd rather get a divorce than name our kids after minecraft and he got really angry and raised his voice. I'm pregnant and my hormones maybe made me really emotional because I started crying. A few hours after that, we calmed down and I asked him again and he said he will for sure name the kids "notch" and "jeb" AlTA?
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Do you have a source on that?
Source?
A source. I need a source.
Sorry, I mean I need a source that explicitly states your argument. This is just tangential to the discussion.
No, you can't make inferences and observations from the sources you've gathered. Any additional comments from you MUST be a subset of the information from the sources you've gathered.
You can't make normative statements from empirical evidence.
Do you have a degree in that field?
A college degree? In that field?
Then your arguments are invalid.
No, it doesn't matter how close those data points are correlated. Correlation does not equal causation.
Correlation does not equal causation.
CORRELATION. DOES. NOT. EQUAL. CAUSATION.
You still haven't provided me a valid source yet.
Nope, still haven't.
I just looked through all 308 pages of your user history, figures I'm debating a glormpf supporter. A moron.
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Do you have a source on that?
Source?
A source. I need a source.
Sorry, I mean I need a source that explicitly states your argument. This is just tangential to the discussion.
No, you can't make inferences and observations from the sources you've gathered. Any additional comments from you MUST be a subset of the information from the sources you've gathered.
You can't make normative statements from empirical evidence.
Do you have a degree in that field?
A college degree? In that field?
Then your arguments are invalid.
No, it doesn't matter how close those data points are correlated. Correlation does not equal causation.
Correlation does not equal causation.
CORRELATION. DOES. NOT. EQUAL. CAUSATION.
You still haven't provided me a valid source yet.
Nope, still haven't.
I just looked through all 308 pages of your user history, figures I'm debating a glormpf supporter. A moron.
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Good eve, In response to my permanent ban I’d like to ask one question; who decides wether this post was funny or not? It seems that a lot of Redditors, like myself, enjoy these kinds of posts. Even if it’s not hilarious, it’s still pretty shitty. In my opinion shitty enough to be on your subreddit. If I violated a rule, please let me know. If not, I’d like to request to be unbanned. Correct me if I’m wrong; this post was not conform “your” standards, well, that’s personal. I find it mildly inappropriate to give someone a ban on behalf of your personal opinion, while the public opinion speaks for itself. Also, the word “karmawhore” is a little bit offensive to me, for I am not on Reddit to score the most karma. Thanks in advance.
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>*LiTeRaLlY nInEtEeN eIgHtY-fOuR*
- George Orwell, 1948
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He DM'd me and mentioned he also was curious and had no experience. he came over and things were pretty awkward, we just kinda made small talk for a few minutes and then i threw some riley reid video on the tv and we both started jerking off next to eachother on my couch, after a bit I reached over and started stroking him and he did the same to me. He started leaking precum and I rubbed it around his head with my thumb. finally I said fuck it and I leaned down and started licking his shaft. I asked if he was doing alright and he said yes. So I got up off the couch and got on my knees in front of him and continued. I licked up and down his shaft a bit, licked his balls a bit and then swirled my tongue around his head lapping up all his precum. Finally I took him in my mouth and slowly began bobbing up and down. He wasnt super big but I still had trouble taking him all into my mouth so I used one hand to caress his balls and one hand to jerk him off as I sucked him. I picked up the pace salivating as much as possible to make it nice and sloppy and after a couple minutes he told me he was gonna cum, I let him cum in my mouth and swallowed. After cumming he got super nervous and awkward and said he had to leave and apologized, I told him no worries I totally get it, not trying to pressure people into a situation they dont want to be in, so he left, and then i went and jerked off.
HEY,⠀⠀⠀ EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!!
IT'S ME!!!
EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟭 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮]]
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It's literally just cola you piece of shit. There's no cough syrup or anything. What the fuck is wrong with you. How fucking desperate are you to seem cool that you decide you want to force a "joke" about a child consuming drugs. Which would be funny except nothing in this scene implies that they're doing drugs or a drug stand-in. You just saw a can of soda and the two neurons in your head fired for the first time in a week, and you jumped into the comments to screech lEAn and spam purple emojis like a clown bastard. You people are the reason art is dying. Fuck you
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Okay so here's my pitch for a new reality TV show
Basically, we get a bunch of very militant TERFs, and one trans woman, put them into a house where they're supposed to live with each other, but, once they've all arrived and are seeing each other for the first time (before they're allowed to even talk to each other), we tell them all that one of them is a trans woman, and, if they can find her and vote her out, they will win a million dollars. But if she isn't found out by the end of the week/month(?), she'll win a million dollars instead.
The catch?
There actually isn't a trans woman with them.
And then we get to watch them slowly but surely allow themselves to get overcome by their own irrational paranoia, paying too much attention to how deep everyone else's voices are, invading each other's privacy, overanalysing each other's mannerisms, policing each other's conformance to the very same standards which they complain about being held to...
And let us not forget the inevitable feelings of isolation and helplessness they'll invividually start experiencing once they start getting accused and shunned by everyone else.
Sure, it would probably have to be a one-off series.
But honestly? I think it would make some great television!
~~also ngl I think the name 'TERF War' has a nice ring to it, sounds marketable, rolls off the tounge~~
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Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky?
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##If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/vv86v4/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/vv86v4/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2Fvv86v4&id=8968e43c) Kevin would also like to remind you that, if you're really desperate, youtube-dl can be used to download videos from Reddit. --- Whilst you're here, r-VeryMadDummy, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?
How tf did they pull a cucumber out of his ass???
They stuck their fingers in his rectum dumbass
Kid named finger:
slowly massage the vag, then rub the clitoris ever so gently. Proceed to stick a single finger in the vagina. continue adding your fingers until your whole fist is in. slide your arm slowly into her, once you reach your shoulder limbo in with your head, and forcibly insert your other arm, torso, and legs. You are now free to control her. when you feel the job is done, finish by giving birth to yourself *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Which one there were multiple
Shut the fuck up. Shut the fucking f*ck up fucker
I like men
slowly massage the vag, then rub the clitoris ever so gently. Proceed to stick a single finger in the vagina. continue adding your fingers until your whole fist is in. slide your arm slowly into her, once you reach your shoulder limbo in with your head, and forcibly insert your other arm, torso, and legs. You are now free to control her. when you feel the job is done, finish by giving birth to yourself *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Source?
Minecraft
I (f34) am pregnant with twin boys and my husband (m34) told me that he was dead set on naming our sons "notch" and "jeb" I know most of you are probably unaware, but these are the names of two of the people who created minecraft. My husband is a big minecraft fan and builds stuff on the game a lot and has minecraft posters, he even said he wants to play minecraft with his Sons. I told my husband that I want to give our children regular names, not after minecraft because they are not objects, and my husband got really defensive about it saying that he should be able to choose because he is their father and I never gave any name suggestions. I will never name my children after minecraft because I don't want them to get bullied and feel like it's dehumanizing to name them after a game. I told my husband that I'd rather get a divorce than name our kids after minecraft and he got really angry and raised his voice. I'm pregnant and my hormones maybe made me really emotional because I started crying. A few hours after that, we calmed down and I asked him again and he said he will for sure name the kids "notch" and "jeb" AlTA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Do you have a source on that? Source? A source. I need a source. Sorry, I mean I need a source that explicitly states your argument. This is just tangential to the discussion. No, you can't make inferences and observations from the sources you've gathered. Any additional comments from you MUST be a subset of the information from the sources you've gathered. You can't make normative statements from empirical evidence. Do you have a degree in that field? A college degree? In that field? Then your arguments are invalid. No, it doesn't matter how close those data points are correlated. Correlation does not equal causation. Correlation does not equal causation. CORRELATION. DOES. NOT. EQUAL. CAUSATION. You still haven't provided me a valid source yet. Nope, still haven't. I just looked through all 308 pages of your user history, figures I'm debating a glormpf supporter. A moron. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The source material is Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye 🤓
Do you have a source on that? Source? A source. I need a source. Sorry, I mean I need a source that explicitly states your argument. This is just tangential to the discussion. No, you can't make inferences and observations from the sources you've gathered. Any additional comments from you MUST be a subset of the information from the sources you've gathered. You can't make normative statements from empirical evidence. Do you have a degree in that field? A college degree? In that field? Then your arguments are invalid. No, it doesn't matter how close those data points are correlated. Correlation does not equal causation. Correlation does not equal causation. CORRELATION. DOES. NOT. EQUAL. CAUSATION. You still haven't provided me a valid source yet. Nope, still haven't. I just looked through all 308 pages of your user history, figures I'm debating a glormpf supporter. A moron. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Shut the fuck up
Somebody that you used to blow by ChokeOnFunny
Good eve, In response to my permanent ban I’d like to ask one question; who decides wether this post was funny or not? It seems that a lot of Redditors, like myself, enjoy these kinds of posts. Even if it’s not hilarious, it’s still pretty shitty. In my opinion shitty enough to be on your subreddit. If I violated a rule, please let me know. If not, I’d like to request to be unbanned. Correct me if I’m wrong; this post was not conform “your” standards, well, that’s personal. I find it mildly inappropriate to give someone a ban on behalf of your personal opinion, while the public opinion speaks for itself. Also, the word “karmawhore” is a little bit offensive to me, for I am not on Reddit to score the most karma. Thanks in advance. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Took me a while to realize that it wasn't the original song
best teammates i've ever had
Literally 1984
>*LiTeRaLlY nInEtEeN eIgHtY-fOuR* - George Orwell, 1948 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
imagine wakinguplikethis
He DM'd me and mentioned he also was curious and had no experience. he came over and things were pretty awkward, we just kinda made small talk for a few minutes and then i threw some riley reid video on the tv and we both started jerking off next to eachother on my couch, after a bit I reached over and started stroking him and he did the same to me. He started leaking precum and I rubbed it around his head with my thumb. finally I said fuck it and I leaned down and started licking his shaft. I asked if he was doing alright and he said yes. So I got up off the couch and got on my knees in front of him and continued. I licked up and down his shaft a bit, licked his balls a bit and then swirled my tongue around his head lapping up all his precum. Finally I took him in my mouth and slowly began bobbing up and down. He wasnt super big but I still had trouble taking him all into my mouth so I used one hand to caress his balls and one hand to jerk him off as I sucked him. I picked up the pace salivating as much as possible to make it nice and sloppy and after a couple minutes he told me he was gonna cum, I let him cum in my mouth and swallowed. After cumming he got super nervous and awkward and said he had to leave and apologized, I told him no worries I totally get it, not trying to pressure people into a situation they dont want to be in, so he left, and then i went and jerked off.
New automod response
HEY,⠀⠀⠀ EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!! IT'S ME!!! EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟭 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮]] *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's literally just cola you piece of shit. There's no cough syrup or anything. What the fuck is wrong with you. How fucking desperate are you to seem cool that you decide you want to force a "joke" about a child consuming drugs. Which would be funny except nothing in this scene implies that they're doing drugs or a drug stand-in. You just saw a can of soda and the two neurons in your head fired for the first time in a week, and you jumped into the comments to screech lEAn and spam purple emojis like a clown bastard. You people are the reason art is dying. Fuck you *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Okay so here's my pitch for a new reality TV show Basically, we get a bunch of very militant TERFs, and one trans woman, put them into a house where they're supposed to live with each other, but, once they've all arrived and are seeing each other for the first time (before they're allowed to even talk to each other), we tell them all that one of them is a trans woman, and, if they can find her and vote her out, they will win a million dollars. But if she isn't found out by the end of the week/month(?), she'll win a million dollars instead. The catch? There actually isn't a trans woman with them. And then we get to watch them slowly but surely allow themselves to get overcome by their own irrational paranoia, paying too much attention to how deep everyone else's voices are, invading each other's privacy, overanalysing each other's mannerisms, policing each other's conformance to the very same standards which they complain about being held to... And let us not forget the inevitable feelings of isolation and helplessness they'll invividually start experiencing once they start getting accused and shunned by everyone else. Sure, it would probably have to be a one-off series. But honestly? I think it would make some great television! ~~also ngl I think the name 'TERF War' has a nice ring to it, sounds marketable, rolls off the tounge~~ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Eminems been quite what
Eminem’s been real quite since this dropped✊
i love emenem
Gotta use this as my caller tone